When my daughter turned 10, I got an extension so that she could have her own room, and we could finally get our 2 year old out of ours! My boys share, and my daughter gets the box room xx
I think by law it’s after the age 5 they legally have to be in seperate rooms. That’s what I was told here in Ohio
Depending on where you live there are laws that at a certain age lids of diffrent genders need seprate rooms a
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I’d worry more about the 20 year old. The 8 year old in the room could help but anymore boys arent6 sFe either.hope they have twin beds
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I think they need their own rooms but I also think that you’re having thoughts about something bad happening because of your own experience. Unless you think that your own son is a rapist then that is irrational.
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How often are they at dads? If its one weekend every so often. That’s no need for separate rooms. Plus its not your business. Dont put your past onto your childeren. Keep an open line of communication between you and them.
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I may be alone here, but this doesn’t seem like a problem unless you make it one. Daughter can change in the bathroom, where she takes a shower. If your son shows no signs of being a sexual predator then it seems like a non issue to me. I’d personally be more concerned about a young man that I’m not acquainted with living in the house with the kids than anything else. Please don’t put the sexual predator label on your son just because his uncle did awful things. That’s not fair. He’s just a little boy.
People lived in one and two room homes for hundreds/thousands of years. And before that whole clans shared caves. This is a modern, first world issue if you think about it. If your children aren’t having issues then I would just try and keep the peace for their sake.
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In some cases cps CAN require they have separate bedrooms
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Two reasons there’s no law on this:
- 4th amendment: Constitutional right to privacy. Unless you do something to lose that right the court can’t tell you no
- 5th and 14th amendement due process and equal protection. This would discriminate based on class/income. Not everyone can afford large homes with several rooms
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Idaho at one time, would NOT tell you to have bedrooms for each gender, unless you were adopting or raising foster children.
You should be more worried about the 20 year old son of the gf, if you are worried about your own son, I feel so horribly sad for you. Its our jobs to raise them properly and teach them and protect them. Poor kiddos. 
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Absolutely not. She needs her own room period. It has nothing to do with possibilities, more so she needs her own space. And tbh, dcs can be called and force him to give them separate rooms. Boys and girls shouldn’t be sharing a room.
Single beds? Put a divider between the beds so each has privacy. Don’t know the laws though. 20 year old would be a concern but not knowing anything about him hard to judge. How long do the kids stay at Dad’s?
Why you gotta throw YOUR business out there?
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Yeah I heard the law states that after age 5 boys and girls need to be seperate. The 20 year old is a slight concern tbh.
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In my state children have be separated from opposite sex at age 5 boys no longer sleeping with mothers, brothers and sisters, fathers and daughters… however that is only legally sometimes it just cant be avoided but there are loopholes, such as putting up dividers and such
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I used to work in a children’s shelter (formerly known as orphanage) we didn’t separate opposite sexes till five years of age. They weren’t always siblings tho. If they’re just going to dad’s for weekends I think they’ll be fine. I would make sure they have separate beds tho. I’d be more worried about the 20 year old in the house.
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To play devil’s advocate… I lived in my mother’s basement for a few years… So my sons and step daughter had to share a room and they were 9-10. In the morning, my sons would leave the room so she could change and vice versa. It wasn’t ideal, but after some work, we managed to get some space made where my dad was framing in a storage closet and set that up as my step-daughter’s space. Not ideal, but we worked with what we had.
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my 7yo son shares a room with bunk.beds with his dad. they live in a 3 bed house. the third bedroom is used as a store room. i have a one bed flat. as soon as he turned 5 i went in the front room and he has his own room here.
different parenting styles.
he coulda put a blow up bed for his two in the living room…so surely its better they have a room to share?
In most states this is highly illegal. Just sayin.
Edit: this is not at all allowed where I am from and thank God.
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I have a boy and girl and only have a 2 bedroom. My son is 7 and she is 5. She still sleeps with me bc i just can’t get her in her own room. I was trying to get a bigger place bc from what I was told siblings older than 5 have to be separated. However, in the state I live there is no law. It depends on your state and the situation. I also highly doubt this is a big deal. He is younger than her by 2 years. Boys mature alot slower. Plus they are still too young to even think about sex or sexual acts. I would be more worried about the girlfriends son than my own son. Has your son ever shown any signs that would even hint at sexuality? Or is the issue the ex moved in his new girlfriend?
If there is a 20 year old man in the house I myself would feel more comfortable with my son staying in the same room as my daughter to protect her, especially since you are aware of what could happen to her
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The 20 year old would be sleeping on the couch and the kids would be in their own rooms.
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It’s age 10 here in the uk that a girl and a boy could share rooms. But I never put mine together. My daughter had her own room and my son had his bed in my room until he was 4 then I moved into a bigger house. Now they have a room each and I had another boy now so the boys share a room x
I think legally speaking, they cant share a room because they are boy and girl. Id talk to my ex and let him know my concern. The 20 year old can sleep on the couch or somewhere else when your kids are there.
Is their dad their residential parent or are you? If they are just visiting their dad then I dont see an issue with them sharing a space also I just dont understand there being a law saying kids cant share a room past a certain point if your that worried about one of them attacking the other then that’s a parenting problem. I think it goes without saying that we should be raising our children not to molest or rape anyone and to respect others privacy.
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Why not bring it up to dad ? Tell him you arent comfortable with it and find an alternative. I mean if it’s just on the weekends or something, this is so not a big deal. Personally I would be more concerned about a 20 yr old man I didnt know living in a home with my young children then the brother and sister sharing a room…
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How long are they actually at dads house? Every other weekend or one week on one week off? The concern or answer I think would be differwnt depending on that. My sister in law has a smaller home. She shares a room with her 12 year old daughter and her 16 year old son has his own room. One week with mom then one week with dad. I think at their age it should be fine.
Sounds like you have PTSD from childhood trauma. You can’t assume that because you went through it your children as well would go through it. It is perfectly fine for when they’re visiting their father to share a room. Think about it this way what about people who can’t afford another room for their kid and have to have the kids share. To get upset with him over something this small is very Petty you need to look at the bigger picture
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We have a 2 bdrm house. I have a 12 yr old boy & a 3 yr girl sharing a room.
They should have had there own room a long time ago
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The 20 year old boy and 8 year old boy should share and the girl should have her own room. If it was my house that’s the way it would be done. Its not like the dad has full custody so the gfs son can get over having to share a room. Or better yet he should move out and live on his own like an adult.
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I would be more worried about the 20 year old than the 8 year old
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Where I am, you can get in trouble by CPS if a boy and girl over 6 share a room.
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By age 5 they’re supposed to have their own room
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Most places once the younger one hit the age of five they’re not allowed to share a room. Because my mom actually had to put an extra bedroom on her house because my dad threatened to take us back to court and say that he was going to get us because we didn’t have our own bedrooms but that’s in Virginia so I’m not sure about other states
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CPS, DHS, Social services and the like have a guideline when there is case open.
There is No STATE law saying that opposite sex children legally can’t share a room.
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The 20 year old should have a sofa in the basement not his own room. Wouldn’t want to encourage his staying there at all with your kids in the house.
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Are you saying you are worried your son would hurt your daughter ? There’s no reason they cannot share a room . Guessing there’s a bathroom to change in or they could put up privacy areas . It’s somewhere to sleep . Have you ever stayed in a hotel everyone shares one room . Teach them to respect each other’s personal space even in a shared room .
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Some states it’s illegal to share a room past really young age
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Do you honestly believe your son is going to rape his sister? Seriously?
They’re still young. I mean, I shared a room with my brother until I was 13 and he was 12. No big deal. I cant believe its illegal 
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In most states I think its illegal once they are over seven
Where I’m at, they can share a room they just have to have their own beds. All 3 of mine shared a room up until 2 years ago. 2 boys and 1 girl.
Idk about you, but I’d rather have my kids together in one room then splitting them and one having to possibly share with a 20yo. I was also sexually abused, and unless they don’t get along, or there are already issues, I’d prefer them together. Separate beds, same room.
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Depends on where you are. Some areas cps would be involved if aware of them past 5 years old for opposite sex sharing a room.
It’s honestly sad as fuck you’re worried about YOUR son and not the 20yr old…
There are ZERO STATES with laws on siblings sharing rooms of opposite sex. ONLY for foster children.
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Its his house and if they share up to him. Nothing wrong with it . Ive shared a room with a younger brother… annoying but nothing happened.
Yes the boys should be sharing a room. Especially if shes grown enough to be starting menses. If the 20 yr old is uncomfortable he should get his own place.
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Idk her being the older sibling I’d be okay with her sharing with her little brother. Especially considering there is a 20 man who isn’t blood in the household. Younger brother could be a good deterrent
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He is 20. Kick his ass out(unless some kind of developmental delay) and kids get their own room.
Untill April of this year my son and daughter shared a room pretty much there whole lives. My son just turned 10 and my daughter is 7. They’ve always had their own beds. I don’t see a problem with it.
And there us no state law, where i live anyway.
Idd be more concerned about the 20 year old man. Maybe they will protect each other if they share the toom
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In Ontario siblings over the age of 5, and opposite gender are to have their own room but their is no actual law
Depends how much time they spend with thier dad. Of it’s only 4 days a month then no they are just fine. If they spend quite a bit of time there then it might need to be addressed but also you can’t control you exs house anymore then he can control yours. You dont know maybe 20 yr old is paying rent and therefore deserves his room.
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I would think it’s better to have them share at Dad’s rather than force your young son into a room with a grown man. Make sure they respect each other’s space and they should be fine.
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In Florida CPS said that once our oldest was I believe 4 or 5 we had to put her in her own room. Every state is different but look into it and if need be let him know. If he doesn’t fix it or care then get the state involved as they should not be sharing a room
In my opinion if you have thr space kids should have their own room by like 5… In state of florida stated by DCF its wrong for boys and girls to share a room
First off… in So sorry for what happened to you.
Good mother for wants to protect your daughter I love this,im just as concerned about the 20 Year old tell their dad about how you feel… teach her about all this unordered for her to feel comfy Incase something does happen.
I think as long as there is a bathroom with a door, for changing clothes and such, it should be ok. How big is the room? Can a curtain be hung for extra privacy?
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After age 6 they can’t share if opposite sex … unless you bring it up in court tho I don’t know how else to fix it. At 10 they need privacy period
I would rather have my 8 year old boy in a room with his sister than sharing a room with a 20 year old stranger.
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Opposite genders should have separate rooms especially at her age
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In my state if the siblings are of opposite sex they have to have there own room at age 8… at least the way it was when I was young
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If she’s going through puberty then she needs her own room
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I would worry more about the son that moved in
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I Ontario children over the age of 5 can’t share a room with the opposite sex and that includes siblings. You can look into your laws and force it if it’s law
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I don’t no what to tell u cause you have to watch her son and the step daddy OMG I would try to get them out of there!!!
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I googled it and girl and boy can share a room until the age of nine. Then they should be given their own rooms.
She needs her own space. The boys should share.
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You probably should be concerned about the 20 yr being around your daughter
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I thought after a certain age, they couldn’t share rooms? I know where I live, that’s how it is
If she’s going through changes she needs her own room
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I’m confused. Not all households can afford to have that many bedrooms. Unless foster care I don’t think any states have a law like that
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Uhhhh pretty sure boys and girls are supposed to have separate rooms anyways?
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Most states have a law that opposite sex siblings over the age of 5 can not share rooms. Which I agree with, not saying I think anyone’s child would commit an act on their sibling but it’s to prevent it from happening. Especially at 8 and 10 and if she’s going through changes already she should have her own space
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At 12 i started having my own room because of the changes, though necer fully started changes until 13 cause im a late bloomer. And i have a twin brother. Before that though there was a boys room and girls room. No one was allowed in either room.
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You are. Right .pray and do what you think best. What would Dr Phil say?
Your scared about your 8 year doing something to his sister no honey you should be more worried about the 20 year old i think it’s better they share a room while the 20 year old is in the house you don’t know him your 8 year old can try to help your daughter if something happens
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When they turn 12 is old enuf not just cus shes going thru changes which i read at age 12 …smh…ppl 
Definitely need to be in seperate rooms! She needs her privacy!
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Pretty sure if child service gets involved they will put a big no no on two kids sharing a room im pretty sure by that age every one is suppose to have there own room by gender
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Need her own room and maybe the boys should share but I would worry bout the age gap
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Boys and girls shouldn’t be sharing rooms after 4years old …
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After 5 they need to be in their own room. I think there’s a law but I could be wrong.
It’s law in most states that after a certain age (and def before 8) that chikdren of different sexes must not share a room
By law after age 5 different sexs can’t be in the same room tg
Its illegal in most states for a boy and girl of any age to share a room.
I have looked everywhere and my state law (Tennessee) i am unable to find a law that states they should have separate rooms. I think it’s more of a parent preference.
but everything I have read so far states regardless of age its is legal for siblings (even step) to share a room.
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If ur concerned about ur son raping ur daughter then he needs help.
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Typically I’d say separate rooms but I share the same feelings with a 20 year old in the house I’d want my kids together…
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By law in my state, after the oldest turns 6 they don’t like them to be shared
So when should a mother move her son to his own room? Her son is 9 almost 10 and she still shares a room with him. Is it just me or is that highly inappropriate?
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I mean, it’s obviously not ideal. But how often does the father have them? If it’s only a night a week, i would just perhaps find out how long the gfs son is going to be living there, if it’s temp or permanent. I’m also confused, you’re worried about your son harming your daughter? If that’s the case then you need to address that problem - or are you worried about the girlfriends son?
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Pretty sure that’s not legal. Look up the laws in your state. I believe the age is 5.
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Well I had Shared a room with my brother til we were 12-13 he never touched me. Your brother must be sick to do that. And all honestly they should get their own room by time they hit pre-teen. Here Brother and sister can share a room til they’re 5 then they got to have their own room that’s rule here now
5… The age is 5.
Boys and girls cannot share a room
People saying there are laws are wrong. There are rules for foster families. But think about families who live in small apartments in congested cities. Seperate rooms would be a luxury for some.
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