What age should kids be left home alone?

My neighbor across the hall from me has a nine-year-old who is left home alone all night on weekdays while dad is gone working the night shift. I find it incredibly sad, and I do worry that nine is too young. This same child was out trick or treating last night, alone! Offered for him to tag along with me, my hubby, and our two kids, but he said no. (Not my child I can’t tell him he has to). My oldest is just eight, and I can hardly stand to leave him inside the house alone while I’m outside in the yard (very irresponsible age). Also, add… this same child is obviously school-aged and is up past midnight while dad is gone. We’ve had smoke alarms go off in our building from him.

192 Likes

9 seems to young! Especially overnight

Maybe the father has no other choice?
He’s working, not partying…

24 Likes

That’s too young. Poor little guy. That’s so sad. Maybe try to talk to the dad and see if you can help out in some way to ensure his safety.

7 Likes

Any info where mom is? That’s tough

It really depends on the child.

6 Likes

I was 10 when I was left home alone. You could go over there and say hey, if he wants to come hang out at our house until you get home he is more than welcome to. Keep in mind, they may not have family or anyone to keep an eye on him.

11 Likes

Yeah maybe he is a single dad with no choice and that’s all they have. Maybe be thankful you can keep an eye on him from time to time. :cry:

6 Likes

some states don’t list an age but 9 is too young to be left alone all night. Im not a big one on calling CPS but in that case I think Imight hoping it lights a fire under the dads butt to have someone stay with the child at night

6 Likes

Personally I think its too young. Especially to be left all night period and to top it off every week night. Check the Laws in your State they all vary state to state…

1 Like

That’s to young. Most states have laws that specify how old a child must be before they are allowed to be left alone.

2 Likes

Honestly I have 11 year old twins and a 9 year old and I don’t feel they are old enough to stay alone

1 Like

I stayed home by myself at that age. He is fine.

7 Likes

Personally I feel it’s to young. But also depending on how mature he is maybe it’s ok? If your concerned you could definitely call CPS or police to do a child welfare check

2 Likes

Offer help. Just don’t interfere unless you know the whole story

13 Likes

Offer to babysit if you’re concerned.

12 Likes

Can u have a conversation woth dad and see whats up

1 Like

Home alone over night, no in my opinion. Trick or treating seems fine to me if I knew where he was and it was a reasonable hour.

1 Like

Sounds like a single dad trying his best, I’d offer help but leave CPS out of it!

52 Likes

Maybe introduce yourself to dad & see if there as anything you can do to help

5 Likes

I’m 23 & set off smoke alarms still lmfao, but depends on the child. Obviously if the father leaves him home alone every night then he can probably take care of himself well enough. I wouldn’t worry about it, I would just keep a eye on him & make sure you check on him if you ever maybe hear or see something that worries you. Some kids are much more mature than others at certain ages.

11 Likes

Legally, it depends upon the state. Some states have laws about how old a child must be to stay home alone - and those states usually break it down into daytime vs. nighttime, and duration. But not all states have these laws.

If your state doesn’t have laws about this, then it depends upon the maturity of the child. I, personally, wouldn’t leave my kid home alone overnight until he’s a teenager at least. But like others are saying, the dad might not have a choice, and if there are no laws against it, there’s not much you can do except keep an eye/ear out for him.

4 Likes

I’m not at all a fan of DFCS, but they may need to be called- at the very least I would have a conversation with the dad. Just let him know that you’ve noticed and ask if he has safety measures in place or if there’s family close by… I’m sure the dad is doing his best, but 9 is definitely too young to be left home alone overnight.

4 Likes

My parents let us be alone at that age if they needed to run to the store or something, but that is too young to be alone while his parent is working. That makes me very uncomfortable as a mom.

At 8 my son was able to be home for short periods with his 5 year old sister… I was always thankful that my duplex neighbor was there in case they needed anything…

1 Like

It all depends on the ccilds maturity. I was left alone around that age while my mom worked 2 jobs and my dad was deceased. And around 10 11 i started babysitting my brother and could walk around town with him and at 13 i was babysitting him and my newborn brother. I wouldnt leave my kids alone but my mom was able to with me because i matured super fast so it all depends

2 Likes

It depends on how responsible he is.

1 Like

I was left alone then. Didn’t die but in this day n age I feel it’s not as safe.

3 Likes

Single dad? Doing the best he can? Leave them alone.

26 Likes

That seems young. Might be okay for like an hour or two after school if he’s responsible. But over night? That’s too long. Anything could happen!

1 Like

I was left home around that age but had 2 other siblings as well, one a year older than me. I think it depends on the childs maturity level.but i believe it is ok for them to be home alone as long as the parent sets ground rules. This person must be a single parent so few options for them as well, especially working a night shift. And no do not contact cps. The boy isnt abused or ill taken care of. Why have a child be taken.away when a parent is doing their best to support a child and he is not in danger.

3 Likes

I would call child protective services. That is incredibly dangerous. People like to justify that kind of BS by saying their parents did it to them but it was negligent then and its negligent now. That child could kill himself or burn the building down. You should not have to take him in yourself. There are plenty of day jobs and government assistance for single parents. Theres zero excuse for neglecting your kid.

13 Likes

I think its too young! My daughter had a 9 yr old best friend that died in a house fire cuz his parents left him home alone and i still feel if someone was home with him that night he would still be alive today!

4 Likes

I stayed home at that age. Remember every child is different and every child matures differently, he may have had to grow up early. To me it sounds like dad is doing the best that he can to provide. Maybe give dad options of baby sitters and if he can’t afford it and you truly care maybe offer to drop in and check on him or bring him dinner?! Cps could very well take him away and put him in the system and dad/ son be split up.

2 Likes

Tell dad the son can stay with you on school nights if he needs. He’s a single dad he may just be stretched thin for childcare and has no idea where to start

7 Likes

What state? Only a couple states have actual laws of ages to be left alone.

3 Likes

Dad stinks, check with your State, here it’s 12 yr of age

2 Likes

I would offer dad to keep an ear out for the boy if you live directly across the hallway. Maybe you could tell him to tell his son that he can knock on your door if ever something is wrong or that you can check on him periodically through the night. If you were to call cps there is a good chance they would take the boy from his dad and put him in foster home which may really scar the boy especially if his dad is all he has and if the only issue is the dad has to work overnight then ideally the community around him could befriend him and help him so he can raise his son

22 Likes

Isn’t just about age. Also about maturity and responsibility

3 Likes

This day and time 16 is. still a little young 2 be left alone at night.Day time is ok at 16 No younger Mama’s opinion

1 Like

At that age they can be left alone but not for extended periods of time and not overnight that’s illegal and irresponsible regardless of their circumstances. You need to do the right thing and call child protective services. If something happens to that child you are now just as responsible for not coming forward. Some people might not agree or like that but that’s because some people sympathise with hard times more than they care about an innocent child being left in an unsafe environment. Children come first!

7 Likes

Every state has their age requirements. Check yours and try to talk to the dad. Be honest, hey I know it’s none of my business but I’ve noticed… and if I have then I’m sure others have as well. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know. Watch his reaction, if he’s angry and defensive that’s a red flag. If he is grateful and explains his situation try to see how you can help.
If it doesn’t get any better I would consider reporting it ONLY because of the fire risk. But that is certainly a very young age to be left alone.

6 Likes

Not this day and age. Too young.

1 Like

Way too young. I have a 9 yr old and I don’t want to leave her to go to the store 2 mins away

Single dad trying his best for his kid
If you are so concerned why can’t you offer to help so the child is not alone? for all you know he has no one to ask for help mabey you could make a difference in a good way

19 Likes

I stayed home alone at 10… Overnight and all. But then again our generation is hella different from people nowadays… Not really sure what to say on this. I mean if the guy works nights and doesn’t have an option and the kid is still alive and well … Then you cant really say anything about it. And calling children and youth services is probably a bad idea since that’d be taking away a child from a parent that isn’t necessarily doing anything wrong …

9 Likes

My almost 9 year old can be left alone. He has a phone and is very mature. Now all night I wouldn’t but this is how they support their child. Why don’t you offer to lend a hand rather than report them. Sounds like an apartment complex. Many people around to help if needed. Am I saying it’s your responsibility? No I’m simply saying it must be their only option.

7 Likes

It depends on his maturity and the situation. Speak to the father and offer to help watch him. You never know his struggle til you ask.

1 Like

Maybe talk to dad and offer to keep an eye on the place etc. Hes probably doing the best he can do

4 Likes

I’d offer to babysit but if the child doesnt want to sleep at your place maybe see if you can can get a key so you can get him off to bed or help make him a snack.tell him if hes scared or needs something your just across the hall

4 Likes

Depending on the state theres not much you can so. It’s not about age its about how mature they are. I was told I could leave my 7 year old home alone for a little bit with no issue because she knows how to answer the questions (what to do in a fire, what to do when you hear a knock at the door, who do you call in an emergency)
I obviously dont but you legally can in some states there is no age limit

1 Like

It’s really none of your business. Maybe the kid has grown up this way and you’re just now noticing. Maybe because of that, he’s extremely self sufficient and responsible and the dad knows this and it’s okay.
Just bc your kids aren’t, doesn’t mean this kid isn’t.

6 Likes

Talk to dad. Offer to help with the child while he works.

3 Likes

How about just mind your business. The child is fine knows not to talk to strangers. This father is probably struggling and can’t afford child care.

26 Likes

First off if you have an eight-year-old and you cannot leave him in the house by himself because he’s that irresponsible I’m sorry but you need help 8 year olds should be able to be in the house by themselves while you’re outside for a large amount of time without any problems they will bug you a lot asking for things and such but they should not be getting into trouble I have babysitted a lot and I also work with kids and if you’re having issues like that with your eight-year-old I would be concerned next for the other child yes that is too long and too much time he is going to get into trouble he’s going to end up burning the building down if the alarms going off and he should not be staying up because it’s affecting him in school you do need to talk to his parents if you’re too afraid then call Protective Services but I will tell you as working in Protective Services They will announce who called even though they tell you they don’t so if I was you I would talk to the parents first tell them of your concerns and that this is an issue

2 Likes

Even if cps is called, in most states there is no legal age limit that a child can be left alone.

The legal age in my state (New Hampshire) is 12 but I went by how mature my kid is and she started being alone around 13

Can you speak to the father and offer to help or check on child?

2 Likes

Maybe ask dad if you can keep the child at your place at night? I don’t even think that’s legal for a 9 year old? Idk if he’d be any safer in custody, though. That’s a tough spot for you and for dad. But other than offering to take him free of charge, or offering to pay for an overnight sitter, or calling the authorities, there’s nothing I can think of for you to do. And honestly, if the kid isn’t harmed, the authorities probably won’t intervene anyway. I knew of a 12 year old who was living completely alone while mom lived with her boyfriend and CPS wasn’t interested. He was given money to eat, his rent was paid, and he attended school everyday, but that’s it. CPS felt that was enough. Horrifying.

Depends on your state

There are laws about age and being left alone. I believe that 9 is too young. I know here in ND 9-10 can be alone for short times during daylight hours and I believe that 11-12 can stay at home during dark. You should check your state laws etc. If something happens you could be held liable and sited. Don’t risk it and it’s scary to be alone during the night. Just get a teenager to come stay

1 Like

I agree about they can be alone for large periods of time with a phone or some sort of communication I also think they should have somebody that is close by that is watching on them as you would have said very responsible but if he is staying up all night and doing other things yes there is an issue there if hit a fart alarm is going off there is an issue there but reporting them is only going to cause more frustration with the parents and also there is going to be a lot of hard feelings because they are going to find out who told on them

Way to young. He still needs a sitter.

Everyone saying “single parent” as if that’s some sort of acceptable excuse to leave a 9 year old child alone to raise himself. :roll_eyes:

Incredibly irresponsible. A call to child protective services. Hopefully they’ll have some resorces to offer this guy. Or at the very least, open his eyes to how dangerous that situation is.

15 Likes

My daughter is almost 9 and mature enough to be left alone for a few hours while I grocery shop etc. I would never leave her alone all night though. But every child and every situation is different

8 Likes

I use to leave my oldest home alone at night at 9. I worked night shift and had no one to watch her. She had a cell tho I case anything happened. I also had a friend down stairs if she needed anything.

9 Likes

Probably nothing you can do about it but it is extremely sad

Seems like this would be illegal :thinking:

2 Likes

My son at nine was never left overnight. But he was alone in the morning. Starting at about that age he got himself ready for school and on the bus. Though we lived in the country. So the bus came to the end of our driveway. I would call and make sure he was up he always was and called him when it was time to head to the bus he never once missed it. And he ate breakfast at school. He was very responsible. And never proved me wrong. He knew if he was alone after school he couldn’t play outside he had to stay in the house. And he was only allowed to use the toaster and microwave. Again we lived in the middle
Of nowhere. So yeah. I think it depends on the kid. I wouldn’t do overnight because of fire etc. my kids are such sound sleepers they wouldn’t hear a fire alarm.

6 Likes

That’s seems really young to be staying alone all night…possibly for a hour or two after school but not all night. My 11 year old stays by himself after school one day a week and he stay home on the weekends while I work but it’s all during the day, his grandma lives about 1000 ft away, and I check on him constantly. He has never been by himself over night and never by himself after 7pm.

Depends on the laws in your state. In Maryland you are allowed to leave an 8 yr old by themselves for a short amount of time, not overnight as long as another child is not with them. 13 yr old is allowed to watch only 1 other child under that age. Obviously at any age it’s basically your discretion at what age and for how long as long as legally they are allowed to stay by themselves.

1 Like

A nine year old is just fine at home overnight. Just mind your business.

11 Likes

I have cps called on me 4 times. No I’m not a bad mother it was me an an old neighbor didn’t get along so for 3 years she would call cps a couple of times a year for the same thing just change the story around a bit. But each cps person told me as long as the child knows how to use the microwave to cook food that it doesn’t matter how old they are to stay home 

1 Like

Leave this family alone, you don’t know their situation. The dad may have a camera inside the apartment he monitors on his phone. Calling CPS is the last thing he sounds likes he’s well taken care of.

18 Likes

Mind your business :roll_eyes: and work on your own child being irresponsible

9 Likes

Depends on your state. I wouldn’t have left mine when they were 9, but mine were running away and stealing at that age like a bunch of heathens. Hopefully the place is locked up tight and the child has a safety plan. It’s not sad if dad just needs to work. What day care do you know is open those hours? I would be more comfortable with 13 years, but some states don’t have these specific rules.

1 Like

Talk to the parent offer to help if your not wanting to help and just being nosy leave them alone you should be proud that he is raising such a strong nice independent kind boy being single working parent is severely hard but atleast he loves his son and he is doing his best to provide for his child be blessed that you have a neighbor like that! If you can offer help offer if he declines leave them be dont ruin a happy home with cps or the cops that is for people who are being emotionally or physically abusive towards their children obviously his father is not either of those or you would of stated that pleass dont traumatize that father and son!

14 Likes

I think it’s okay as long as they have somebody that is like next door if there in an apartment building or something but like I said if it’s All Night Long by themselves and their out the country or something Know Anything Could Happen nowadays they have all kinds of burglars you name it kids are a lot of the kids are mature at different ages when I was 10 years old I was by myself when I was 7 years old I was by myself & no problem the problem is is if they get an emergency so that’s why they just need somewhere to run if they have problems if it’s a single parent or even two working parents help them out quick getting people like Protective Services involved the only thing they’re going to do is hurt that family and make things worse

2 Likes

That’s a dhhs report

5 Likes

I would maybe offer dad something like dinner and study groups since the kids seem to be about the same age. Then let him know that once that’s finished you can walk him over at that point the kid will have done homework and then it said and ready for bed.

6 Likes

Each state has different laws on that. My state technically doesn’t have an age limit. I have an 8 year old and even though he is mature for his age, he gets distracted to easily and I would not leave him home alone right now. However I remember being left home alone for hours at his age. Not only does it depend on the laws, but also maturity of the child.

2 Likes

Do something not for his dad to get in trouble but write a note to his father!!

2 Likes

my states law says if the child is able to take care of themselves, knows what to do in case of an emergency ect… i personally would not at 9 but thats the law…

1 Like

Whoever is saying this is okay please don’t have kids, wtf is wrong with y’all

6 Likes

I’d talk to the father and check on the kid here and there, see if you can introduce yourself to him so he knows you. Just so atleast the kid knows someone’s across the hall that he can go to

7 Likes

I think it depends on the maturity level of the child, there’s no age regulation in Nebraska that I’m aware of. I know times are different now but when I was 8 I was left home alone with my 4 siblings so my mom could work to keep a roof over our heads…she went to college during our school hours. We all knew not to answer the door but she would always put us to bed before she went to work and would be there in the morning when we woke up.

4 Likes

I’m sure the dad has given the kid safety instructions. what to do in a emergency situations. Some kids are mature at 9 years old because they have to be. Dad has to work, no buts about it.

6 Likes

Check in your state but here in WA that would be neglect. I get it, childcare is so expensive- but that’s why I found a job that our daycares are open for

How about going to the adult and offering help…

5 Likes

offer to babysit for him instead of posting his business on facebook.

18 Likes

Oh also My state doesn’t have an age​:exploding_head::woman_shrugging:

CPS should be notified.

5 Likes

So everyone saying to call the police, that child is NOT better off in foster care, so that’s not the right answer. I think maybe you should have a conversation with the dad if you’re that worried. Hear his side of things instead of dragging the whole internet into it.

19 Likes

I was left alone younger, but I was incredibly responsible and beyond my years. It was also the 90s. I could n e v e r imagine leaving my kids alone at that age and I can’t imagine when I would be ever comfortable because I am forever worried about them.

1 Like

As long as there is a phone or something to communicate with to call parent or 911 then I dont see an issue.

1 Like

That’s something I would definitely talk to Dad or the manager at the apartments about. If that’s not enough for him to make changes, call dhr! That’s dangerous for real!

1 Like

When it comes to other people’s kids, I find it best to go through this checklist:

  • Is the child in true, immediate danger?
  • Are the child’s physical needs being neglected?
  • Are the child’s emotional/psychological needs truly being neglected?
  • Does the child display signs of physical, verbal, emotional, or sexual abuse?

If the answer to all of these questions is “No” (and in this case, it is) it’s best to mind your own business.

Children mature at differing rates. There are many 14 year olds who would put themselves in much more dangerous situations than many 9 year olds. The reverse is also true. Your 8 year old may not be ready to be left alone for several years, or he might surprise you and be ready sooner.

It does sound that he is not ready, but that isn’t your call to make and there’s a good chance this father does not have another option.

14 Likes

How about offering help. Sounds like a single father doing the best he can. Wow.

11 Likes

Y’all obviously weren’t raised in the struggle. Ask the dad if he needs help stop being a Susan. :roll_eyes:

26 Likes

My mom used to leave us home alone at 7 (me) and 6 (little brother). Thankfully nothing ever happened to us but as a mom myself I don’t see myself letting my kid be home alone before the age of 10.