Unfortunately, before you wanna call the police and be harsh. Do you have any clue what the dad is going through. I’m sure it’s not his dream to leave his kid home alone. Child care is so expensive. Maybe he is doing the best he can. So before you tear him down maybe think of things to help him.
We all know the age a child can be left ( sure u can google ) this family may be working all hours to make ends meet. Maybe as someone suggested the father has a camera and keeps an eye and checks in so many times. No … not ideal … but as long as all else is fine … leave be. There are kids in much worse situations . See if u can offer any support in the nicest way . Don’t make their life any harder.
We both work third shift and have a ten year old. He goes to bed before I got to work and I wake him up when I get home to get ready for school. I still have a sitter for him. He’s a very mature and responsible boy but I can’t imagine leaving him home alone all night. I will probably still have a sitter for him until he is 13 or 14. But more likely I’ll try to get on day shift by then so he isn’t home alone at night. It would make me paranoid.
I definitely say it depends on the age of the child although it does seem a bit young. Some kids are just more mature then others, too. I see it as dad doing the best he can. Offer your help to dad to watch him or include him etc.
I wouldn’t until 16 in my opinion, especially how the world is nowadays
Maybe dad has no choice. Obviously he’s raising the child alone and they may not have anyone to help and he may not have the best paying job for a sitter either. Instead of running to CPS how about talking to dad and offering a neighborly hand.
Maybe the dad needs the job and he is doing the best he can. Some kids grow up in this environment and are fine. Keep a friendly ear out in case he needs help.
I think I was about 10 when I was able to be left alone, but I grew up fast. I guess it just depends on the child/parent(s).
11 is legal age in Kansas
OP’s eight year old is irresponsible because she never lets him learn how to do anything on his own. She probably still cuts up his foid for him like a baby.
Maybe you should offer your help then!!
Not knowing everything about the situation is definitely no right to bash this family. Plenty of cameras can view everything no matter if person is at home or gone at anytime right from ones cell phone and 2 way intercom. These cameras aren’t expensive amazon has a ton of choices. They can record and alert authorities too. Most people know neighbors and or friends and family as well. Possibly this parent is doing all they can to keep a roof above their heads and cant afford daycare. Let alone I know we don’t have any daycares here that are open later than 6pm. Finding someone to trust around your child is another scary thing and hard to find. Also I’m sure that parent is feeling terrible for missing trick or treat with this child. I know my heart just breaks when I miss anything be it field trip, game or whatever it may be with my kids. But sometimes you dont get much of a choice. Perhaps this parent is pulling extra hours for Christmas coming up? Perhaps this parent has a really great job unfortunately stuck on 3rd shift until 1st shift opens up but they got a chance to get their foot in the door? I do not feel it is right at all to bash a family when not knowing exactly what is going or negatively. Why create negativity instead of truly out of your heart care to help a family?
I think you should myob and worry about your own. You may looking out for the child’s best interest but you also may make their life way more harder than is possibly already is. He might be doing the best he can to make ends meet.
Sounds like a classic Matilda situation…
Offer help or mind your business…
My older kids walked/rode a mile to school by theirselves in the 3rd and 4th grade. They are almost 12 and 13 now and watch their 7yo sister weekends and during the day on school breaks while me and dad work. Age has nothing to do with being ready to stay home alone or have more freedom/independence. If you’re concerned then talk to the mom/dad/whoever and offer to babysit.
Idk what state you’re in bit in IN there isnt a set age for a child to be legally able to be home alone. It’s up to the parents (within reason, of course)
I was practically raising my 2 siblings by age 9 and 10. It depends on maturity level
I mean some kids mature faster than others. My kids were young. I always left a phone in case of an emergency. They werent allowed to use the stove or go outside. Sometimes its a parents only option.
Nothing you can do unfortunately maybe ask the dad if he needs help it is a young age tho
Offer to help. Do not be that person to call CPS and break up a happy home if the child other wise looks happy and healthy. Night shift could be the fathers only option for work right now which means babysitters are hard to find for those hours. It’s almost 2020. There is such thing as FaceTime, nanny cams, live camera feeds, cell phones, etc. Offer to help instead of just being nosy. You have NO idea what this father may have gone through to make him be a single father. At least he’s out working and not drinking and doing drugs. Keep an eye on the kid and if ever notice he needs help while dad is gone then help.
I was 6 when I started staying home alone (working parents.) Except I knew not to answer for anybody, not to touch any electronics, and where to find some food
I think 8 is too young but idk about legal ages to be left alone. If it were me I’d talk to the dad and see if maybe he wanted me to drop in at night and see how the kid is doing but if he says no then probably best to stay out of it
Offer help. But don’t be mean about it.
Said boy is probably very mature for his age.
The dad obviously trusts him.
Just keep an eye out and make sure nothing bad happens and be there to help if necessary
I hear you. If it bothers your soul, you might be the only voice the child has ! I’m sure he’s scared being home alone. I know I would have been! I’m 54 and it’s a different world now. I don’t know if you are willing to take this kid in for the night or not, but if something happens ,I’m sure it would bother you for some time! On the other hand,the struggle is real , and I’m sure the father is trying to make his way and is thinking the son is sleeping at that hour! Regardless, I believe he’s too young also.
Mind your business. You dont truly know how responsible this kid is. My lil sis got left alone while my single dad worked from the age of 8. She had a phone. She knew the rules. She was responsible. And she was fine!
In arizona there is no minimum age for latch key kids. My daughter was 8 when I started to leave her home due to necessity for work, I couldn’t afford a sitter and no one offered to watch her for free so I did what I had to do to keep us from being homeless.
Maybe offer to sit him for free if it bothers you that much, if not then its not really any of your concern.
Oh my goodness it should be 12 for 3 hours and 13 or older left alone but with contact numbers and maybe have someone check on him around 9-10p.m. to make sure safe and ready for bed
Sounds like a single father doing his best to work and provide. My son is nine and stays home alone for a few hours at a time. It’s not a big deal, I’m sure the child is prepared and had been told what to do in case of emergency. Mind your business and leave them alone unless you’re offering to help
I wonder how many of the people saying to call cps spank or yell at their kids. That’s a whole lot worse than leaving a kid at home overnight while you’re working.
I was more responsible than most at 8 and 9. My sister was another story as with my daughter. Some kids are able to handle it while others are not. Instead of going down a road of no return, actually find out what is going on and see if you cant help out? Seems it may be the more reasonable appoarch, particularly if he some times sets off the fire alarm.
I was home alot while my grandma had to work night shift or very early shift. I understood it was important for me to follow the rules she set for me. Kids def know at a young age that of their parent is having to leave to go to work it’s bc they have to not bc they want to and will try to help however they can. It’s nice ur keeping an eye out for the Lil guy.
Fr I agree putting this out there could cause more problems for which I’m assuming is a single father providing for his kid. I’m sure the father has rules and regulations… All you can do is watch out for him. Since he is young .
Sad poor little kid. I’m sure his dad probably had no Choice gotta keep a roof over their heads. Nice you watch out !
People raise their kids differently. Yours might be irresponsible as you said, but he obviously trusts his kid. I think you should mind your own business.
Why don’t you go & talk to the dad & offer your help.
Why don’t you offer to keep an eye on him over night since you’re concern and I’m not saying this in a bad way
I was left home alone at 9 and watched my 7yr old brother. All day during the summer while my mom worked 5am to 5pm.
How about instead of trying to get his kid taking away from his, ask him if, oh idk he needs HELP. Believe it or not a lot of parents & single parents DONT HAVE FAMILY OR ANY HELP. I personally would NEVER leave my 9 year old alone but let’s be so quick to call the cops and have him in foster care, because he’ll thrive there? He’ll do better? Have better experiences there? Dad is doing what he has to? If you’re genuinely concerned contact dad…see if he needs help… is there anything you can do. Not try to get his kid taken away when all hes trying to do is pay Bill’s and put some food on the table.
9 is way to young especially in this day and time. Things are not like they use to be and I really hate when someone 30+ says I stayed home alone at that age. If the dad is a single parent he could really be struggling. Offer him some help if you can. Childcare is so expensive and he may see this as his only option.
While the situation is not ideal , some kids are mature enough at 9 to be left at night when they will be sleeping mostly anyway . Most likely he has a phone and dad can keep in direct contact , and possibly cameras to check up on him . We don’t know the details of the situation . And if there is no abuse , I don’t see the need to call cps . It’s not like they are going to hire a baby sitter or actually do anything helpful . If it where my I’d keep an eye out, but still Mind my own business .
Introduce yourself. Offer to help with his son, give your phone number in case son needs help while he is working. Become a good neighbor to him, maybe cook a casserole for he and son? Not easy being a single parent. My son had to be one with a key to our place from the time he got out of school until I got home About 2 hours Summers he had to be left alone. He was 10. Had a neighbor though that he went to during the summer months. I was home at night.
I’d approach dad and ask him if maybe you can babysit him on nights he’s not home. If Dad says no, i would give him my number and tell him the kid can come over anytime if he needs help. If he’s setting off smoke alarms then at the VERY least I’d ask Dad if as a way to help him out if you could have the son come to have dinner with you. Some kids do mature faster than others, but if he’s setting off smoke alarms then I’d at least offer help with meals and snacks or things dont call CPS because trust me that kid could end up with a lot worse of a life than just being home some weekend nights so his dad can work. If Dad was gone to a bar, that would be different. I agree it is concerning at night, especially on weekends when there’s a lot of drunk people out and night robberies, but not sure exactly when Dad gets home either?
My parents didn’t start leaving me home along until I was 15. I always went to a babysitter.
It depends on the maturity of the child and also your state laws. If it is something you are worried about you could always offer to babysit overnight. Parents have a really hard time balancing work and child care.
Talk to the dad and tell him his son can call you at anytime if he gets scared or wants company or needs anything. Offer for the boy to stay with you until his bedtime on nights your available or to have dinner with your family a couple of nights a week. Watch out for this child all you can, even if he doesn’t want the help, nothing is more precious than the life of a child.
It really depends on the kid. I could probably leave my 8 year old alone for an hour or so, but he knows the rules and respects them. My kid is mature for his age and the kid across the hall from you may be too. As for the smoke alarm going off, big deal . Shit, I set the smoke alarm off a lot when I try to cook
Sounds to me like all he has is dad and dad has no choice. My 10&11 year old have been home since 8&9 while I work it’s been a lot more since my schedule has changed but that’s just the way it is. Keep reaching out to the boy he may come around
The thing I would advise is for you or your husband to talk to the dad and figure out what the situation is and if he has no one else to rely on or for support or help with his child if you can I would offer that he come over to your apartment during the night while Dad is gone and make sure he gets off to school. In some states you can leave the child alone starting at 8 years old some states you have to wait until they’re 12.
12 is legal age where we live
So many people telling you to mind your business which is the problem these days!!! If you’re concerned then definitely speak up and talk to the Dad. You just never know these days. Maybe see if you can help at all. You’re not being nosey, just concerned, which isn’t a bad thing!! I would be the same way!!! At that age, mature or not it’s a scary world out there and if something were to happen to him I know I could never forgive myself. Better to say something than to stay quiet. People are right you may not know the situation and the Dad might have that as an only option but no one should get upset or give you a hard time for trying to help out and being concerned. Kudos to you and good luck!!! Wish I could help more!
Offer the dad free babysitting.
I get that everyone is saying that 9 is too young but… what if there’s a neighbor that comes and checks on him from time to time while dad’s at work and this person doesn’t see that. Maybe the dad has cameras throughout the house to keep an eye on him inside as well. He obviously knows NOT to go with anyone because he wouldn’t go with you. Plus, who the hell can trust sitters these days? You got teachers sleeping with students, you got family members raping the children… I mean, you really can’t trust anyone these days! My daughter is 13 and has been way more mature for her age since she was 8. My son is 16 and he doesn’t even have a learner’s permit because he isn’t responsible enough for anything. I work with him but with his don’t care attitude, it’s almost impossible! I have left him alone but my parents live next door and he usually goes there anyway. Point is, you never know what someone is going through unless trying to talk to them and get to know them. Maybe he’s going through rough times and doing the best he can. Maybe be a great neighbor and offer help instead of being that neighbor nobody wants by calling someone to make the situation worse! JMO
PLEASE do not call the police or anything! Go introduce yourself asap and like others say, offer to help.
I cannot imagine leaving a child that young home yet idc how mature they are. I’m 29 and still get followed and stalked! God knows what can happen. But I promise it’s probably a single parent doing everything they can to provide. I was left home with my younger autistic brother a lot when I was around 7-8 but we didnt have to worry that much back then like now.
Just tell dad what is going on and offer your help.
I stayed home at 9… Alone watching brother so… Offer help or mind ya own.
I was around the same age. There were rules on what to do and what not to do. Check in calls. Not answer the door for what have you reasons. I mean, this was in the 90’s and times have definitely changed, for sure. But the father is probably doing the best he can. I’d give him the respect of actually working. He’s keeping a roof over their heads. We never know the battles others have to endure. Even when it’s right next door. I’m sure extending a helping hand to the dad would mean the world.
12 is the legal age kids are allowed to be alone where I live. Offer to watch the kid while dad works or at least to check on him while he’s gone.
Oh my son had check in times too. Just call every 2 hours so I knew he was okay, May this boy does that too.
Setting off smoke alarms…
See if you can help if you are that concerned I was a single parent to 4 kids for 7 years and had to leave my oldest son with his siblings to watch for a couple hours so just try to hel0
In my state W.V as long as a kid is old enough to use a phone and has one in case of emergency and can make a sandwich or something like that to eat then it is ok. I think age has nothing to do with maturity. My 12 year old is more mature and responsible then her older twin sister’s. I would leave her alone but not them. She also is the one I ask to help me with their 19 month old brother while I’m cooking, cleaning or just need a lil bit in the tub by myself. I have also left her alone while I went to the store. No longer then 30 to 45 min. I take the other 3 with me. The point is some kids are not responsible an can do simple things for themselves. Also maybe the dad is doing his best and can’t afford a baby sitter an has no other choice. Also we live in a small town and all kinds of of children were out trick and treating with out their parents. I went with mine but my 12 year old asked if she could take her lil brother all by herself next year. She will be 13 and he be 5 months shy of 3. This was his first this year so I wanted to be with him. But next year I might. It just depends on what’s going on. But please don’t cause trouble for this family if you don’t know why he all by himself trick or treating. Maybe he just wanted to be by his self. You don’t know the circumstances of his family and what problem his dad has. May they are just poor. And his dad can’t afford someone to watch him. Maybe he is watching him on his phone. With all this new technology he very well could be. You should act like a neighbor and someone who cares by talking to his dad. And maybe offering to help somehow. It really aggravates me when someone called dhhr and tells them about another family when you don’t know their story. Have you seen bruises on the little boy? Do you hear the dad yelling or cussing him? Putting him down? Does he look like he isn’t being fed? Or is he always dirty? These are the only reasons you should call anyone on that family. If not then if I was you I would mind my own business and worry about your own. If you want to do something then offer to help somehow. Jeez people!!!
In new Zealand 14 is the legal age to be home alone
Are they poor? Maybe the parents work and do the best they can?
Before judging def go over and talk to the parents. Maybe tell them your here if they need help.
Law in wa is age 11 cannot be left alone…12 they can babysit.
It is concerning to see a 9 year old left alone all night. I would ask the dad if you can chat, then tell him you would like to help in any way you can. Be neighborly or leave it alone and just keep an eye out from afar. But, honestly, if you’re this concerned, talk to the dad. Empathize with him. Dont cristisize. Sounds to me hes doing the best he can with what he has.
I think it depends on the maturity of the kid.
Seems too young. Why not offer him to spend nights at YOUR house?
I mean, if he has a phone I dont think 9 is too young. Depends how mature the boy is also. Some kids would be fine left along and some wouldnt. And you never know they may have someone that checks on him.
Obviously, check local ordinances… and take kid’s maturity into consideration but: When Can You Leave Your Kids Home Alone? Here Are the Laws in Every State | Working Mother
no way I’d be leaving a nine year old way to young
Why not meet the dad and make some sort of arrangments with Dad and help him out making sure his son is safe. Sounds like Dad is doing the best he can. Be a good caring neighbor and just give him a hand.
Too young. But I know some kids have to mature quicker than others. It would be a damn shame if someone called dcf/cps or whatever acronyms fits the state you’re in on the single father & he was just doing what he is able to do to make ends meet for him & his child. Volunteer to listen out for his kid. Let him know you’re there if needed or in case the kid needs you or an emergency. If he was living off the government, people would be bitching & saying he’s lazy & needs to show his son a better way in life.
As others have said, the dad has to work and apparently he has no one to depend on. I get feeling you want to turn him in. Why not talk to Das and offer to be someone that can be the adult he can go to in an emergency. Apperently he functions well alone but 9 is pushing it. Wouldn’t it be a nice thing to offer your help in case he needs it.let the parents know you are there if needed. Show the state of how little help there is for parents in a tough spot.
My brother was 10 when my parents started leaving him home alone with my other brother 7 and me 6, on the weekends, usually to go to the coast for a couple nights. We were always excited because they left us cash for pizza for dinner.
With technology, I think it is very possible to be in two or more places at once. Working second and third shift usually can add a bit of extra pay.
Also, perhaps the kid is on a different natural sleep schedule… My kids get their full sleep but especially in the summer they are up all night and sleep during the hottest part of the day. My eldest is 5.
I would not leave own kids alone, only because they are not ready but some kids mature faster than others.
The part about the fire alarm, the kid’s dad may need to let him know. Aside from that, offer to help but if he declines, find ways to socialize so there is more trust so you can be in a more trusted position to help.
Sounds like maybe single dad trying to make a living. 9 is a bit young. Maybe you could offer to let him sleep at your house? Would solve both problems.
As someone who’s been in the foster care system its worse. Do the right thing introduce yoursrlf and offer help. You never know someones situation unless your in it.
No legal age in Ohio it’s based off of maturity of the child. I wouldn’t assume the worst. Maybe meet the dad and offer to look in after him.
You don’t know the situation. So ask the parent instead of a bunch of judgemental people on social media.
Dad might be a single parent. Idk the full synopsis but 9 is too young to be alone overnight. I’d strike up a friendly conversation with dad and offer to watch the kid or something.
I was 8 and my bro was 10 when we were left alone all night and getting ourselves to school in the morning. My daughter is 8 and she does not get left alone for any period of time. I guess it depends on the child. It’s sad if he’s alone without siblings. Too young
I would not go calling cps or some crap like that. it sounds like this dad is really just doing the best he can. why not offer some help? maybe check ins with the boy? maybe dinner if dad is gone so he’s not cooking for himself? not sure why he would be cooking that late bc 3rd shift is like 11 to 7 normally. but it doesn’t hurt to talk to his dad.
Offer to take him overnight free of charge. Be the village for that family.
Look up the info for your state on the internet. Each state varies. Some don’t have an age limit. Maybe the dad can’t afford a sitter. That is young but you don’t know the circumstances.
Mom, I say talk to the dad also, but if that doesn’t work…you should also remember that you are still talking about the safety of a child. All of these people talking about maturity, would be saying something completely different if your post read something like…well we knew the dad was leaving him alone all the time and he burned the place down one night, and people were injured/killed. He’s 9…maturity…remember we had teenagers eating tide pods not long ago…adults licking ice cream in the grocery stores…so don’t talk to me about a 9 year old child being mature. I have been a single parent, who had to work nights. I completely get how hard it is…talk to the father, but go with your gut instinct!!
Talk to his father and ask if you could offer assistance since you know so much about his life to begin with…childcare is expensive especially on that shift…if you are not a part of the solution you are a part of the problem …your talking about him and judging his parenting based off your own children (fyi your 8 yr old is going to be less mature because you raise him differently then this child is being raised) my 5 yr old can cook simple meals for himself …soup and toast…makes his own breakfast every saturday morning…sometime feeds both his older brother and his little sister …because hes mature for 5…all kids are different…i wouldnt like a 9 yr old home alone either all night…id be worried for his safety …but im betting dad has no options so be a good neighbor n offer to help him so he does not lose the one thing he probably gets up every day for n keeps going
Also, if your kids are close to the boy next door, have them to slowly build a friendship then you can work your way into helping with watching out for the child.
Some states have laws for when kids can stay home alone.
I was scared to read the comments but… Once again, faith in humanity is restored. It takes a village.
I’d call dcf to make sure
As far as the alarms, maybe talk to the parent instead of strangers online! Check state laws, everywhere is a different age . If they are of legal age, maybe mind your own business
doesnt depend on age its maturity I feel 9 is to young I was blessed mine had my parents they were always eager to have them over
Probably a single dad. Offer to watch the kid overnight. Sleepovers!
Ask the dad if you can watch the child at night when he is at work.
I was 9 when I was left alone. I was then. I’m fine now. Same situation. Single dad. Honestly, he is doing the best he can and each child is different. Some are very mature at 9 and can handle being alone. Like old souls trapped in little young bodies.
I was home alone at 9 with a track phone
I’d definitely be worried about him. So why not befriend the dad? Get a key to his place so you can check on him? Let him sleep over? It sounds like being a single dad is taking a toll and he may need some help
He’s probably a struggling dad and it takes a village these days 🤷
Maybe offer to help him out?
I just want to say not all 8 year olds are irresponsible. At 8 my son was and still is incredibly responsible for his age. He gets up on his own, showers on his own, makes his breakfast and lunch on his own, all while helping his younger brother. Now it’s not that I dont want to help, they are just very independent now. They want to do everything on their own. That’s fine. My now 11 year old stays home alone all the time. He will even babysit his brother when I need him to for a few hours. Would I leave them over night alone. Hell no.
That is not ok… he could burn the building down putting your family and everyone at risk. A child that young should never be left alone over night. A few hours during the day is fine, but dad needs to figure something out.
9 is wayy too young!! That’s sad.