when would you allow your kids to have sleepoivers at other peopels houses? my teen telks me I am not being fair because i do not like her to sleep away from our house…but i just want to keep her safe
67 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What age should teens have sleepovers away from the house?
If you don’t let her out to sleepovers and hanging out whatever it may be she will eventually rebel. I promise. Give her some freedom just make sure she knows that if she doesn’t feel safe in any way or if she needs you she can text you or call or whatever.
9 Likes
My teens don’t sleep away. Why? Because they can stay late. They can do everything that they would do at a sleepover. So sleep at your own home.
10 Likes
If you know the friend and the friends parents it might make things easier. But you gotta let her sleep over at friends houses. Not doing so really isn’t fair. And she’ll also do what she wants regardless.
6 Likes
12 yrs is a good age especially at a house if responsible parent there at all time just go over the what ifs rules and make sure they know no matter the hour they can call to come hoe I thinks that’s old enough to where they too can handle responsibilities and act right too
1 Like
I started spending the night at friends house in the 5th grade so like 11-12 I think and I’ll probably do the same for my kids but my parents also had to at least talk to the other parents when dropping me off and I’ll do the same too lol
2 Likes
You never went to a sleepover as a kid? I slept over at my closest friends house all the time as a kid
5 Likes
I was 8 or 9 when I started going to sleep overs. 
4 Likes
Shortly after they make friends and can begin to remember. You do have to trust where and who they’re with or forget it.
1 Like
My parents were allowing me to go over friend’s house for sleepovers before I became a double digit number 
I understand you want to keep your child safe, but you can’t keep her in a bubble all her life.
Edit: If you are that worried and concerned, then negotiate - that the only way to start sleepovers is if you can talk with the parents, know where they live, and get their number(s).
3 Likes
Maybe extend her curfew? Even if it means you stay up late. Growing up my dad always called my friends parents to make sure I was actually sleeping there. Maybe you can do the same.
I also saw a post a while ago that a kid texts his mom an emoji if he wants to come home and the mom will call and say he’s grounded for something to make it her fault. You could try that as well 
2 Likes
I was roughly 11/12 when I started having sleepovers
My kids started doing sleep overs around 8-9.
1 Like
I had sleep overs all the time, didn’t everyone? My girl has since about 5, with people i know
1 Like
I was never allowed to go to a sleepover. Your house. Your rules.
3 Likes
I started sleepovers at probably 5? Always had a great time! My son is 7 and planning one for this summer
1 Like
I was younger than 13 when my parents let me sleep over at a friends for the first time.
My 9 year old sleeps at one friends house and his friend sleeps here 
only one friend though
1 Like
Wherever you feel comfortable with it. That’s the end. You’re the parent. It’s up to you. Don’t let anyone else sway you. Trust your gut and your parenting
2 Likes
Allow your children to have freedom let them spend the night at their friends house speak to the parents get the phone number make sure they won’t be leaving that house once your child is dropped off there don’t give them a free reign of freedom but give them enough to show that you trust them because I promise you if you don’t they will rebel and start doing sneaky stuff
2 Likes
I was 12 when my dad let me go to sleep overs but only if he knew the family’s well I only got to sleep at like 4 of my friends house that he knew their parents well and trusted mostly my friends who lived in my street. Unless they were family or in the neighborhood I couldn’t go. My boys started sleep overs at friends house at 10 my daughters are 6 and 7 only at their cousins house for now.
My kids were around the ages of 3-5 when they started sleeping at family members houses.
My girl has been sleeping over her friends house and vice versa since she was around 5 and she is 11 this year
1 Like
I started going to sleep overs at like 4 or 5.
My kids started around 10.
1 Like
Depends on who the other person is and do you know the parents
1 Like
My kid has had sleep overs since she was 7 but I make sure I know the parents and talk to them
1 Like
U have to be careful with teens now days as well when I was there age we did alot of things our parents wouldn’t like if they knew what we were up to at friends house.
4 Likes
My parents hardly ever let me have sleepovers, so when I got older I rebelled. I would lie about where I was and who I was with. If you don’t give them trust, they will not give you honesty. It’s a two-way street. My mother was assaulted as a child so I wasn’t even allowed to stay with my grandparents until I was 3. She did protect me from assault as a child, it never happened at a young age, but I was still assaulted as an adult, because I was not able to learn and watch out for negative social cues being stuck in the house 24/7.
8 Likes
I’m the same. Mine are still young but I remember getting away with things I normally wouldn’t
I started having sleep overs at age 8
1 Like
Shit kids start having sleep overs in like grade 1. She should get to the experience having sleepovers with friends ESPECIALLY if she is a teenager 
she’s right about you being unfair for not allowing her to, she’s eventually going to be on her own and you aren’t always going to be there to protect her
I start my kids at the age they understand what inappropriate touches and “playing” is… so 6/7, my 13 almost 14 year old stays the night with her friends all the time, she actually just went camping with her best friend this last weekend.
1 Like
My daughters been having sleepovers since she was 5yo
1 Like
My 10 yr old often has a sleep over at her friend’s house
My 14 yr old has a sleep over occasionally at his mates house
As long as you have spoken to the parents
I can’t see a problem
4 Likes
My son started about 3 and my daughter about 8 but she only has them at certain places. My son stays at friends heaps he is 15. My daughter has 3 places she goes to. I wont let her go anywhere else. I know the families well
My girls have had sleepover from they were young kids and made school friends as long as you know the parents of the other child and you drop off and pick up . I get where you’re coming from but you leave them to school and there is a risk with that too.
3 Likes
Its not gonna hurt her to miss sleep overs however having your fears happen to her is something terrible
Keep you girl safe at all cost some parents really seem to drop off their kids anywhere just to get rid of them 
8 Likes
If your child is already a teen and you haven’t allowed for a sleepover, when would you allow it
Most kids stop having sleepovers once they reach high school. So your child has a short window if you’re waiting til you think she’s old enough.
3 Likes
When you feel comfortable. I let my daughter spend the night at two homes. I need to know the families and no older brothers or male relatives in the home. And she can call me anytime to pick her up.
3 Likes
I can’t do it. I’m sorry. Perhaps when my daughter is a teenager. Like 15-17. Simply because there’s so many risks and it’s a crazy world we live in. Despite my trauma of witnessing horrible things, I won’t over shelter her but I do know she will have to pass on sleepovers outside of my home until she is an older teen.
So, what I’ll do is fill my daughter’s life with joy. She won’t be sheltered but she WILL be raised diligently. I have to be careful with another human life that is not my own.
4 Likes
My mom never let me to sleep in any one house .
Lots of people saying meet the parents first do you know how Decieving a person can be for 20 minutes while youre standing at their door step “meeting” them before u allow the kid to sleep over… its a hard no for me. Your JOB is to keep your daughter safe. You are her mom, not a friend. I will not be allowing my daughter to sleep out at all. Even if its someone you know and trust, what if that said persons cousin stops by, or their uncle, or neighbor and at somepoint that person has access to youe child. Do you REALLY know what goes on behind everyones closed door every second of the day? No. People judge you no matter what, and kids will learn soon enough once they reach that mental maturity or have children of their own why u were so hesitant. Do what u feel is best Mama
3 Likes
I don’t unless it’s family and I’m picky about that
Mine only stayed with family until 6th grade. (We have a huge family with lots of cousins in the same age ranges.) I let my daughter sleep over at a friend’s house and that was only because we had known them since kindergarten. They were a couple blocks away and their gma lived down the street from us so we were around each other often. Oh and she had a phone in case she wanted to come home in the night. She was a bit older before too many others happened aside from that friend. I was lucky to have her other good friends live down the street from us. They all grew up on the same block practically. I was told I was over protective but I didn’t really care cause I wanted to keep them as safe as I could.
Yikes. There’s seriously people that don’t allow their kids to have sleep overs? For all those saying 15 or more, 15 is about the time kids quit wanting to have sleepovers and go to parties instead. So if you want that, then yea, go for it. I get there are crazy people out there but if you can’t have faith in your children to make the right decision when they aren’t home maybe you’re asking the wrong question. My parents were pretty strict. I did get sleepovers but I wasn’t allowed to hang out with friends a lot. Let’s just say I have one year of college under my belt because I went on academic probation because I partied too much because I never could be with friends in high school and didn’t care about college so I didn’t go to class and so I never went back.
2 Likes
My kids never went to other homes
1 Like
My kids are 11 amd 13 and I don’t allow it and they are fine with it. They have friends come here to stay almost every weekend and I am always happy to have their friends here. Result of trauma in my childhood=I will never trust anyone with my kids unfortunately.
4 Likes
It depends on the kid, parents and the way they live… Meaning is it a safe place??? Are the parents always drunk etc, do the parents have similar rules… We are strict with who our oldest… Our youngest hasn’t hit the sleep over stage, yet… My house is 99.9% a yes for sleep overs, but I have to know where my child is going… Yes, we drink a 1-2 beers a night, but i refuse to have my child in an environment that is iffy… Plus we are a strong Marine style household, plus my Marine vet husband is a Sergeant for our county. It all depends
Never. Because you don’t know who the hell is going to be at the other house. Trust nobody.
I would talk to the parents firsts age 13 and no boys and I would also have to know the parents because now days you cannot even trust allot of the Perv Dads or the Mom’s either but if you are too strict it will cause your kids to sneak and fo shit trust me on that one and just tell them if I come check on you better be where your suppose to be and I have done that with my daughter at the football game we went to eat I did not tell her I come back and dam if her ass was not up town at the drive thru but hey she was with her friends it could of been worse but I told her I expected her to be here not running the streets I told her she was grounded after the game .
6 as long as I knew who was there and the parents monitoring them
2 Likes
I don’t think there’s like a specific age, I think it entirely depends on who they are going to be staying with. I let my daughter have her first “on her own” sleepover when she was maybe 11, but that was because it was with our neighbor literally just right up the street, I could walk there in 60 seconds. We saw them at the bus stop every day, the girls had played together frequently, I’d been over at the house many times, I felt pretty comfortable with them.
At the time, we had a little watch phone thing for my daughter - a very simple device where it could only contact 2 numbers (me or her dad), and only 4 number could call her. It was a little speaker phone watch. Like $5 a month from Verizon. So I sent her with that so she could contact me at any time if she wanted to come home or if something happened.
But things were fine. The mom sent me photos of them making smores, playing with the chickens, watching a movie, etc.
She came home early the next day only bc her friend was a bed hog and she was cranky from no sleep 
1 Like
Anyway, my point is, just judge the situation on a case by case basis. Regardless of the age, do you know the family and feel comfortable with them staying there? Do they have a way to contact you? Do you trust them to know to contact you if anything inappropriate happens. Etc. Go with your gut, momma.
Not in this day and age
2 Likes
It depends on where they’re sleeping over. I had no problem allowing our older girls to sleepover with a couple of friends that we knew their families well, as long as I knew who would be there. They were around ten or eleven. My nine-year-old has never stayed with anyone other than family. It’s the same for our older son, just family and a friend we know well. Our six-year-old has only stayed with family. Our girls always thought I was overly protective, but I feel like you have to be so careful.
1 Like
My mom bought a tent to out in the back yard and me and my friends would go stay in the back yard or in my room if it was too cold.
1 Like
I have to know the parents well and see the inside of the home. My kids have been to several sleep overs but I felt comfortable with every one.
3 Likes
My kids have always had sleepovers but I tend to try get them to my house if possible. I always check and check again later and they have to be dropped and collected at the house and parents have to be home.
2 Likes
My 6 year old has had a sleep over at her best friends house and vise versa. Her mom is one of my best friends. My teen has sleep overs all the time. Our house or there’s. There is keeping your kids safe and there’s trusting your kids to let you know if anything is wrong and make good choices. They are teens… trust your parenting and them.
4 Likes
my oldest, has only had sleep overs at her aunts or grandparents. My youngest has never been overnight anywhere else. I don’t trust anyone else with my kids. If i don’t know the parents well enough, my kids aren’t going to stay somewhere with them. Call me overprotective, but at the end of the day, my kids are safe.
3 Likes
too much safety will lead to kids acting out in the future
3 Likes
My kids were 7 or 8 but we have always had the rule that I must speak to parents, have a address and phone number
My 15 year old and 5 year old only sleep over at their grandmother house or dad house and my two closest friends houses that have kids around the same age but most the time they in my house to much crazy things going on unfortunately no matter how long u know someone something can still happen
Whenever you feel you know the family she’d be staying with well enough and you believe she’d be honest with you about staying there and not elsewhere and if to tell you if anything weird went on.
Nowadays you have to be so careful. It would depend on who they want to stay with and how well I know the person and family they want to stay with. I come from a small rural area. Everybody pretty much knew everybody so sleepovers happened before the teen years. If you acted up over at so and so’s house, you were just as apt to get spanked as you would at home, with your parents’ blessing! Now, I would make it a point to talk to an adult of the house and make sure someone of the adults is going to be there to supervise. Talk to that parent and casually find out if their rules tend to match up with yours. You can tell if you talk to someone for a little bit if they plan to ride herd on the kids or if they’re going to let them run the streets. If they plan to watch the kids, find out if they should bring money for pizza, movies, whatever. Then there’s no reason they can’t go at 13 or 14. But you can make sure you know where these people live… that sort of thing.
My son just had his first sleep over last weekend. He turned 14 this year. My friend told me I need to let him live a little. Best choice I’ve made. I swear he came home refreshed and happier. I told him maybe once a month we need to do sleep overs with our friends. Either at their house or mine. 
hope this helps!
3 Likes
You don’t have much confidence in how you raised your kid huh
4 Likes
Depends on place and environment, mine was young I gave them a secret word to let me know to get them out of there if need to be
What age do you start trusting her to know right from wrong. Loosen the ropes that way you can help her learn
It depends on your relationship with your parents if close and you trust them then at any age… Otherwise go with your gut.
How old is your teen? Do they do well in school? Are they respectful around the house and help out? Do they know right from wrong? Do you know the parents of the person she wants to spend the night with? Are their rules similar to yours? So many questions to be answered before you can give an honest response.
1 Like
well damn a teen?!
my oldest daughter turns 9 in June and sleeps over her best friend’s house at least twice a month she’s been doing that since she was like 5 
you gotta cut them strings at some point or your kid gonna act a complete fool when they finally do get away from you. my aunt & uncle learned that the hard way with my cousins not letting them do anything ever. ALL THREE GIRLS ARE COMPLETELY WILD now & one of them left home at 17 & never came back (she’s 33 now) now has she spoken to her parents in at least 10 years because of this.
Can’t keep her scared of things teach her boundaries and tell her if anything she is uncomfortable with she can call you and you’ll be right there if she needs you.
3 Likes
I let my daughter stay where she is comfortable. She has a phone she’ll be 16 next month. I taught her well in my opinion aside from some attitude. They have to explore in my opinion or at 18 they go do it anyway bc they never got to as a kid. No a t people aren’t bad just have to watch and see how they are.
1 Like
My almost 13 year old still only sleeps over with certain family members. But she has been to friends house with a curfew before lol. She hasn’t started to complain too much yet.
1 Like
I only have sons.
And they’ve never had sleepovers away at friend’s places. I allow friends to sleep over at my place though.
However, if I had daughters, I’d never allow it. It’s not lack of trust in them, but in society in general.
3 Likes
My 14 and 16yr olds often stay at friends houses and vice versa , with me it depends who and where they’re staying and I always get a contact number for the adult of the house! You got to allow some independence can’t keep them wrapped up forever
1 Like
Cut the umbilical cord! My kids have slept over at friends houses since 3rd grade! If you have a bad kid then keep her home. Meet the parents, visit the home, if they’re not crackheads or living in a trap house, let her go. Norma bates didn’t let her kid go anywhere and look how he turned out. J.S.
13 Likes
My girls had friends sleep over at 10 and they went to friend’s at that age too. I knew the friends and their Mom’s since pre-school. I live in a small Town and many of us parents went to school together ourselves
I gave my kids more freedom if they call/check in/text me. So i know they ok. My kids stayed night lot younger than that. If you treat kids like you dont trust them they will prob be shady with you
1 Like
I never let my children. You never know what’s going on in a house behind closed doors. Instead, I let their friends sleepover.
Now grown adults with children, they’ve told me they understood.l
9 Likes
Mine started in first grade.
No age while under 18. Most people who have been abused, have been so by people they know. Every smiling face is not good intended. Even people you think you know, you don’t know how they really are behind their own door when no one is watching. People trust others too easily w/ their kids. You don’t know the traffic that may come in and out of someone’s house. Or the company they keep. Hell No. And just because someone doesn’t allow sleepovers doesn’t mean their child is sheltered or can’t do anything or go anywhere. The topic is sleepovers.
10 Likes
I never got to sleepover at friends houses. I’m 26 now.
Don’t. Let. Your. Kids. Sleep. Over.
You wouldn’t be able to sleep if you knew what “sleepovers” are really code for.
6 Likes
My 4th grader (she’s 9) is currently at her friend’s house. She slept over there last night and is having a blast. Meeting the parent(s) is always a good first step to easing your mind.
2 Likes
My kids come from trauma backgrounds and most kids are abused by people they know or trust so I’m extremely protective.
Currently my only child at home is foster so unless dcfs has done a home check and a background check then my kid can’t stay the night.
I just always made sure to be accommodating to my kids friends so they our house was available for sleepovers.
Give them opportunities for freedom in other ways or just make sure the households are vetted as much as possible. Invite that child to your house a few times. Meet the other adults in the friends house. Always exchange contact info with other adults in the house. Have a code for if your kid feels uncomfortable and wants to come home no questions asked.
1 Like
I get paid over $ 130 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 20780 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
M0re Info. https://https://supremedollarjob105.netlify.app/
I was when I was literally 5 years old.
1 Like
My kids have been having sleepovers with friends since they were little. Now my youngest is 15 and she hosts and is a guest at sleepovers often. It’s always with the same girls and same families who by now I know very well and trust. There seems to be a lot of fear about sleepovers for kids. Know your kids, communicate with them. And know their friends and their friends’ parents.
2 Likes
Things are different these days, my kids only stay with family. You don’t know what’s going on in other people’s homes, I let them have friends over for sleepovers at our house but it’s crazy to me that people drop their kids without even meeting me or talking to me. I would have to know the family well. But if it was an older teen 16 ish then I might let them decide for themselves.
8 Likes
Sheesh I didn’t think the answers would be the way they are 
my 8yr old had his first over the summer lol they have gone back and forth and stayed there then here multiple times
4 Likes
Get to know the parents and find out who else is spending the night
2 Likes
I’ve had sleepovers since I was maybe 6 or 7 lol
Man my kids have been going on sleepovers since they were 6. My youngest was 4 when he started cuz my oldest would help watch him where ever they went. I couldn’t keep my teen in the house now if my life depended on it. He responsible, respectful, and I’ve taught them both on dangers. If your kid is a teen, is ease up off that cord you still have attached to them cuz they will rebell against you eventually, possibly have resentment against you later on in life. Take it from someone who grew up with a mum like you.
2 Likes
Just wait till your teen gets freedom at 18. You can not protect them forever by keeping them inside. Keep that noose tight and you’ll eventually strangle her to the point of resentment. Send her with knowledge and a cellphone. Driving is way more dangerous than a sleepover. The kids will want to do that too. Don’t treat your teen like she’s 5.
I don’t allow it!! My daughter was hurt by a very close family friend that we knew for years and never dreamed he would do something like that! He and is wife where the adults in the home (the wife was unaware of what happened)
3 Likes
Stop it! Let your kid have a life!
1 Like
To all the parents saying they can’t do it because they want to protect them, yes of course I’m all for protecting my kids! They are my world and I’d die for them ! But keeping them sheltered is the worst thing you can do for them! And sad truth is , the same thing can happen at your house that you are scared of happening at a friends house , happens way more then people think , your own husband/father/brother can go on your daughters room and do the unthinkable
3 Likes