I am going to my final hearing for my divorce and child custody next week. I wanted full custody, but my ex wants shared custody. I think since they are young children (a 3-year-old and seven years old), they should be with me primarily and have a little more consistency than going back and forth one week with me and one week with him. I have no issue with him seeing them on weekends or on his days off. But what are the chances that the court will decide to have it 50/50?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What are the chances custody will be 50/50?
Depends on the state. I’m in Texas, my ex wanted 50/50 and the judge granted me primary. I had a 6 and 9 year old at the time.
It will likely be 50/50.
Unless the dad is a massive risk to the kids I couldn’t not see him get 50 50.
Probably 50/50 my bf has 50/50 week on week off has since the kids were 3, 8, & 9
A lot of states are for kids being with the mother. It could be 50/50 but I’m sure you could ask for it to be changed.
There’s a large chance it will be 50/50. Just because you’re getting divorced, doesn’t mean you’re automatically given custody. He is their father. He has just as much right as you do to those kids. So unless he’s abusive towards him and you can prove it, he will be awarded 50/50.
It depends why state. It’s a very good chance that they will go joint custody unless you can prove or state reasons it would not be in the best interest of the children and they might consider consider. Now that is only the court where I live I don’t know how the court is going to be where you live. Do you both live in the same school district?
There are some states that are automatically 50/50. More states need to be!
Did you do a parenting plan?
Might not be 50/50
If there are any recommendation from outside agencies e.g. Caffcass they tend to follow them
My daughters dad was given after school on a Wednesday and every other weekend for contact
They tend to not want children to have messed up routines ect
Dang. I don’t understand how you wouldn’t want their dad in the picture more. be happy he wants to be there for them and let him have the 50/50 and make it work. What’s best is having both loving parents in the picture as much as possible
More than likely 50/50. If he’s a good dad and works, he’s not violent or a alcoholic/drug addiction then you don’t get to chose because you want the kids more. He’s their father. Let him be their father and parent. Then when everything settles into place talk to him and express how you need to work together be adults so the kids don’t suffer. Most of the time it’s theses situation where the children end up being the ones that loose in the end.
Could be shared with one primary. Does 7 year old go to school? Do you both live in the school district? Keeping kids in school without a lot of disruption is important…so could share if that works, but if not then weekends and school vacations for non custodial…are you able to coparent well without conflict?
It depends on the state! I live in a mother state and I’ll never have to worry about that!
It will be 50/50 regardless of age. They will be ok. If there are valid reasons like they will
Be in danger with him find ways to prove it before then. If not don’t worry it will be hard at first but you will all adjust. Also the custody agreement can always be changed. Good Luck.
I had 90 physical custody and 50/50 legal custody. Every other weekend was with dad but they lived with me. School and Medical and other life altering decisions were made by both. We eventually became more lenient as time went on. Legally the same agreement was on paper but we decided to just co parent and help each other out.
Make it appoint to add in your court papers that you are not allowed to argue or harass each other over the phone. Protect each other it forces you to be polite lol. It helped us be civil.
I was never married to my kids dad but I don’t think it mattered, every parent has rights to their children. In my personal case, I did 50/50 with my both my boys for 2 years and it was horrible at the end. My oldest needed therapy and the therapist diagnosed him with an anxiety disorder and more and with that, the judge granted me full custody.
It will most likely be every other weekend and one weekday per week. But he will get joint custody unless you have proof he’s not a fit father.
Depends on the state but typically 50/50 unless there is a proven drug or violence record
My ex has a felony and it included a charge of child endangerment. I don’t even have a seatbelt ticket. They still forced me to do 50/50.
They could also give you sole placement with joint custody it does truly all depend on the judge and what you 2 can work out
Depends on the state, circumstances and the judge. The judge we had was only going to do every other weekend when it came down to the kids going to their dad’s but they had been going there every weekend before we went to court. When we did tell the judge that he did put it to them going over every weekend. We also share holidays but the kids also know they are welcome to go over to their dad’s house any day that they want to
Lots of judges like to do 50/50
I don’t think her question has anything to do with her not wanting him to see the kids it has to do with the kids keeping a routine and consistency. Especially if the 7 yo is in school. Of it is 50/50 y’all will have to try to have the same routines and agree on em.
Once they’re in the swing of one week on and one week off, things will be consistent.
it will likely be 50/50. honestly our 50/50 arrangement is perfect. I get mon and Tues. he gets weds and Thurs. we alternate weekends Friday after school to Monday mornings. so over 2 weeks we each get her 7 days. no child support either way. it just didn’t seem fair if he has to provide for her for 50% of the time too. we split her extra curricular. she really doesn’t know any better we’ve been doing it this way since she was 3 so it’s just routine for her.
consistency doesn’t mean just with mom. consistency means regular routine. if you set the routine now it will be consistent.
He probably wants 50/50 to avoid paying child support.
I hope it’s 50/50 for the kids sake, mom’s like you give the rest of us a bad rep😡
If you’re going to do 50/50 I would request a week on week off. That to me seems to be the most consistent schedule. Your children are not to young to spend equal time with each parent.
Maybe you should just give him primary.
Depends on the circumstances… My son got full custody of his 3 children because the mother was unfit…
Is he dangerous? Abusive? Neglectful? On drugs? Willingly inconsistent? If the answer to those is no quit being a bitter baby mama and quit trying to keep ur kids from their dad
He deserves the same amount if time with his children as you do. NO LESS!
My question is why do you feel you deserve them all the time and he does not? Before you push for him only seeing them on weekends and holidays stop think how would you feel if he got the main custody and you only got them every other weekend and holidays. Children get different things from a mother and a father and they need them both equally. He was good enough to be in your children’s life every day when you both said “I Do” and when you decided to have them together. Just because you two decided not to stay together doesn’t mean he deserves to see his children less.
This is honestly selfish.
Unless dad is a POS and doesn’t wanna see his kids there is no point in making him AND the kids hurt because you want full custody. That’s just being bitter and I doubt it’s genuinely just because the kids are young.
Honestly them being young is even more of a reason for y’all to have split custody and be grown for those two so they have both parents in their life consistently.
If yall get a parenting plan and stick to it that’s as consistent as it gets.
You two communicate and try and agree on rules between the two homes to keep them on schedule. But I’d just be happy their dad is trying.
It’s sad that we live in a world that just because we birthed our babies we think we have full rights to the kids over their dads. It hurts dads just as much as it hurts us to see our babies go.
Give him weekends and the summers
Ma’am. Them his kids too.
In Oregon, there is no such thing as being awarded 50/50. Only way for 50/50 is if both party’s agree and ask for it. Other wise the judge will award full custody to either parent.
Depends on the judge and situation. No issues then it can go 50-50. Not really up to you.
Or you could stop being selfish and let the father have 50/50. He left you… not the kids…
When my daughter was 5 her dad and I separated. Insed of a judge telling us when and for how long we left it up to our daughter. We were both good parents and we both stepped in when we needed to. There were a few time she wanted me to come get her because she got in trouble at her dads and the same when she was with me. Shes 24 now and she loves how we handled her “CUSTODY”. From the time she was 14 till she graduated we even did it from different states. Him in NY me in NC. Neither paid child support either we just split everything 50/50
If there in school it would most likely be with you on the weekdays and him on the weekends
Seriously? Do you know how many kids have fathers that don’t want to be present? If that man wants to be there, he should be able to. It doesn’t matter if you’re the mom, or he’s the dad. YOURE BOTH THEIR PARENTS and YOUR children deserve equal time with both of you.
Joint custody, Dad gets kids weekends and trade out holidays. Dad need to be involved in everything that had to do with the kids meaning,dr appt,school functions etc.
Custody has nothing to do with primary residence. I hope you have a lawyer.
I am blown away at these comments attacking this woman saying she’s bitter she’s selfish when you have small children nine times out of 10 they’re in a routine that the mother initiates and takes care of the father has very little input. For her to say hey I want full custody and he can have reasonable visitation is not selfish it’s in the best interest of the children. Y’all need to quit being assholes to this woman…
I have joint custody. He gets weekends and they primarily live with me
Looks like someone didn’t get there way so there taking it out on the father u bitter baby mommas need to grow the hell up and realize that ur hurting the kids not the father
Why do so many people assume the male is always the bad parent. I’ve seen mother’s put their children in a worse situation then when the parents was together.My son and daughter-in-law split up they had shared parenting.Was working but she got involved in with a new male she had known and he turned out to be abusive in many forms needless to say my daughter-in-law is dead and their four children have been living with us for the past seven years.Dad is with a new female the kids don’t particularly care for needless to say she not the nicest person but her and my son has another child together and he stays with her.And I can’t prove abuse from her because I’ve personally haven’t seen her hit the kids but my four older grandkids have said different.So my point I’m guess I’m trying to make is just don’t always assume it is the male.Mothers do it also.
I do 50/50 with my ex. I have them Monday night until Wednesday night, he has Wednesday night until Friday night, I get them Friday night through Monday night and it rotates. We split holidays. We don’t have child support, we just provide what is needed at each house and split sports and back to school stuff. While it’s hard to let go, and be without also know that he is her dad and does deserve just as much time as you do mom and dads are equal and therefore so shouldn’t the time spent with the kids. With that being said, I know it’s hard. Very hard. However, I have learned to enjoy my time without them and appreciate them that much more when they’re with me!
It is unlikely that a charge for quarter week on week off with the children that yeah. If you ended up with a shared parenting plan it might be a rotating to play on Monday to stay with mom Wednesday Thursday with dad Friday to Monday with mom then Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday with mom and Friday through Sunday dad and then the two weeks rotation starts again. Child support depends on me differences in your income. And why are you asking this on a nail site. How about consulting with an attorney
And there are only two kinds of custody soul or joint there is no such thing as shared custody it’s called a shared parenting plan custody goes to decision-making you really need to talk to an attorney
He is their parent just as much as you are! Never offer the other parent something you wouldn’t accept yourself. If you’re so worried about it, let dad have primary and you get them on weekends and days off. I doubt you’d Accor that so why should dad?
Why not primarily with him not you, that can work too right ?
Let him be there I never understand why mothers want to be shelfish kids adopt it’s more of an inconvenience for you admit it. When I got divorced when my twins were 3 they are now 21 we did joint with me being the primary and he had say in everything drs school etc etc. I didn’t follow the judge I let him see the girls whenever he wanted they slept at his house when he wanted them or when they wanted to. During week he picked them up at least one day a week did homework dinner so he was in the loop what was going on in school and things. They are very happy young ladies till this day. Put yourself in a fathers shoes that wants to be there how would you feel being a part time mother. It’s very important for children to have both parents. Shelfish
If your childs father is a good dad and says hes capable of taking care of them, them LET him be because there isnt very many men who are.
What is inconsistent about week on, week off?
Maybe he should get majority custody and you should get every other weekend.
If it’s ok for him, it should be ok for you too.
P.s. I hope he wins more time than you because you clearly are an alienator.
You have a real good chance that they stay stability with you…
Depends on the state and the other circumstances, but if he’s asking for 50/50 you should give it to him with you as the primary custodial parent, unless you have a valid reason why he shouldn’t get equal time with the kids.
If dad is in same school zone I would do 50/50 a week on a week off that way everything is even. Especially if dad is involved and always been involved.
Makes things so much easier and no need for child support each parent supports the children when in their care. Unless it is an extra curricular programs then y’all come together and split it.
It should be 50/50 unless one of you is deemed unfit. Just because its inconvenient to you, is selfish and not their problem. Every child needs both their parents equally.
Good chance he will get 50/50 placement is when the child lives with the primary parent most of the time.
From experience, having children shuffled back and forth on the weekly is stressful and tiring for the kids. They have no chance to get comfortable and or stable. Every other weekends and holidays and half of summers was a good fit for our family .
No matter what the decision it is both parents responsibility to help children feel confident and secure with the arrangements. Try to work together as much as you can to make things stable.
If dad wants 50/50 that’s amazing and you should let him most dads don’t want that. Sounds like you want to be a selfish parent and only give him a little bit of time… give him just as much time as you get with the kids. My boyfriend schedule with his son is great he gets 50/50 but it’s not week on week off it’s 2 him 2 her then 5 him 5 her. It’s a great schedule and works great for their son.
50/50 is 100% fair, he’s just as much there dad as you are his mom, just because you guys split doesn’t make you #1 to be the most reliable and consistent parent… unless you can show and give the courts a better reason than yes they will grant 50/50 and I hope they do for your kids sake.
This is the most selfish thing you could do to your children.
You’re not punishing him… You’re hurting your kids by trying this and it WILL come back on you later when your kids wise up to the manipulation you’re exposing them to.
It sounds to me that he might be the better parent to have stability with.
This isn’t about stability… It’s about YOU having control over them and their father.
You dont have any more rights to them than he does!
They gave my homeless jobless ex 50/50
My oldest is with me for the week and dad for the weekends (it’s confusing for the child to be back and forth every week) I mean he’s now noticing he wants to be with me 24/7 instead of his dad so there’s that too but previous years he was with his dad most of the summer as well so you just need to find what works best for the 4 of you!
As long as he’s considered a Fit Parent…Courts usually Always give 50/50 Custody
This site has nothing to do with nails. Trashy drama is what it’s about. Other peoples problems, like I don’t have enough of my own.
Did you have mediation?
I guess you have to give him credit for wanting to help raise them. Most men don’t bother. Not all guys are 50/50 but they do want to be involved. Weekends doing things during the week. The 7 yr old will be easy the 3 yr old not so much. All I can say is give it a try you can always go back to court.
It will be shared custody. 5050 is still shared custody. 9020 is still shared custody.
As long as he has a safe place and secure living arrangement sleeping arrangements for Then he will more than likely get a large amount of time period however make sure it is in writing that he is to provide everything that they need while in his care.
Selfish to me that you want them full time and him visitation/weekends. If theres nothing wrong with him( drug addiction, or abusive, etc) then 50/50 is pretty likely.
Its not about what you want, its about what’s best for your children.
If hes a fit parent its usually 50/50 isn’t that what you’d want for your kids anyway
I agree it will be shared custody from experience but you don’t have to agree with 50/50. I alternate weekends with my ex and my daughter stays with me during the week for consistency with school etc. We negotiate on school holidays to try and be equal.
High chance and rightfully should be. He’s just as much the parent as you are.
Why would your child’s age have anything to do with how much time, your children get with their father?
Even breast feeding mother’s have found ways for their ex to be atleast 50/50 with their child! You are not above their father… you are equals.
You really have no idea how fortunate you are to have a father that loves his children, and parents correctly.
You could be in a situation that is much worse. You could have a crap child’s father who wants to fight you all the time…and puts the kids in bad situations… so you have to fight to protect your children…or you could be in a situation where he does not want to be involved.
Trust me, both scenarios suck!
Kids who can be with one of their two parents, because it is not safe for them, have to cope with feelings of loss…even once they know that the courts made the right choice… imagine only seeing your parent in a supervised visit room… or not at all, because they don’t want to bother setting them up!
Imagine only seeing one of your parents, when they feel like making time for you, or not at all… just because they don’t care enough to do so!
You have the best case scenario, and should be thankful for that!
Children adjust to whatever schedule is chosen by the judge and both parents. Count yourself lucky!
Don’t be selfish when it comes to your kids. They deserve both parents.
I had primary custody with mine. He was still in the service stationed in Texas when we got divorced. My family was in a different state. (He agreed as he couldn’t take care of him as he was days one week and nights the other week). So if you get shared you both have to agree on parenting rules and there should be a reason why you get primary custody and he gets limited time. You shouldn’t keep them away from him.
To be completely honest and I don’t mean this is a hateful way… if he is a fit dad and loves those babies then 50/50 is the fair way to go. Believe me when I say this. My husband started in custody court 4 years ago after his ex wife told them he threatened to killed her. During this he had to visit them at social services. That’s was dismissed after 2 visits there because social services said he didn’t belong there. Well here we are 4 years later and the two children are now turning against their mother because she refuses to let them visit other then 2 times a month and know we are fighting for what they want because in the end it’s not about the mother or the father. It’s about the children. Take my word with a grain of salt if you must but in the end the children sees the truth and it may come back to bite you in the butt, we are onto our next court date this month and now the eldest wants to live with us. Good dads deserve 50/50.
51u /him 49 u primary care
For the best Interest of the children If he is willing and capable he is just an entiltied to raise your babies 50/50
It isn’t fair to think just because your the mother your entiltied to more than him
A father is just as important as a mother
Yes on some cases dad’s can be drop kicks but in some so can mother’s
A child needs both parents
Co parenting is best
Kids are resilient and will adapt to splitting time. One week with you and one week with your ex is a very consistent schedule so I’m not sure what the problem is.
Depends on where you are. I have 50/50 with my daughter. She goes to bed at the same time at my house as she does her dads. We eat the same time at each other’s house as well. Bath times are the same. The only difference is she gets to sleep in at my house and not at his. I dont have to wake up as early as he does.
Kudos to dad, don’t know your circumstances though
The hell with what YOU think TF it’s BEST for them to be with both parents equally, just cuz ur mom doesn’t give you more rights smh, these kind of females erk me. Let him be a great father like u think ur a great mom
Consistency means schedule not being with one parent more than the other. If he is a good parent, why would you deny him time? Take the 50/50 and have more time to yourself so when you are with them you are 100%.
Im curious why you are so against 50/50. In my opinion when parents can’t stay together that is the best for the child
Shouldn’t you be asking your attorney that question??
50/50 is still consistent.
That’s a little selfish on your part they need their daddy too. It’s like you’re saying you’re better then him. If you don’t mind letting him see them on his days off or the weekends you can share custody with him. Evidently there are no problems between you two otherwise you wouldn’t want him to see them at all. When they get older they might be mad at you for taking their dad from them
I don’t know the situation but 5050 is fantastic! Your question/statement makes you sound selfish for your own reasons not your kids best interest! A lot of dads get the shaft in divorce because “I’m the Mom, I deserve the kids” NO! Think about the kids, if he’s a good dad then there is no problem. I currently do 2 weeks with me and 2 weeks with him, works just fine.
He is their father! You didn’t feel that way when you were married to him. Don’t start that now that you guys are getting divorced. It seems you are the one who needs to be consistent and not switching things up based off of the current situation or your feelings!
50/50 is perfect. Everyother week is what I do with my girls dad. And more than likely a judge will agree unless you have legitimate reasons with proof that it shouldn’t be that way. But if you live in the same town there’s no reason not to. Both my girls have been going to their dads since they were young.
Unless it disturbs school it should be 50/50