Be grateful you have a dad that wants to be involved!
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If heâs not a crappy dad, he deserves just as much time as you.
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If he is a present parent and he have all the resources to do exactly what you do, the probability is more than 50/50
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If he is a good father and wants to be there and hasnât done wrong by the kids then let him be there. Donât let the kids grow up without a father. It hurts them in the long run. Makes them angry, sad and hurt.
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I coparent with my ex, we have 3 kids together and do 50/50. One week there, one week with me. Not sure why you think thatâs not consistent. Taking away their father to only have on the weekends does more damage to your kids than you realize. Donât make this about you and your emotions.
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You will get 50/50 say over the children and 50% physical unless he is physically or mentally abusive to the children. He has just as much right to his children as you do if he has been a good dad. Just be kind to each other and donât down talk the other parent infront of or to the kids and they will be just fine.
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You should be happy he wants 50/50. Take it from someone who grew up without her dad in her life, you and your kids are very lucky and blessed
My childrens dad and myself split it 50/50 I have them from Sunday afternoon to the following Sunday and him the same. Week on week off. On my weeks we drive them to school or daycare and I pick them up and same for him. Neither of us pay child support and we split everything. He will buy school supplies for one kid and me the other. And then we each take care of what is needed in our own home for them. Itâs so much easier.
Unless you can prove him to be an unfit parent or one of the children has extreme circumstances (like a disability) it will most likely be 50/50.
Sounds kinda selfish⌠when I left my ex. I set our schedule off HIS work hours. Yes HIS! I did that! Heâs MY ex. Not my kids ex. He has them every other weekend and during the week. On weeks that itâs my weekend he gets them 3 days a week and on weeks that itâs his weekend he gets them 2 days a week and the weekend. And now we do every other week during the summer. My kids where 2 and 4 when I left and they did just fine. It was harder on me than it was them. If heâs willing to be in the picture let him unless there is a reason he shouldnât be.
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He is their dad he should get 50/50. Itâs not about you or your feelings or what you think itâs about the kids and they need their dad too.
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My ex and I do 50/50 every week and it is really good. I have her Sunday-Wednesday. He has her Wednesday-Saturday and we alternate Saturday night. Itâs really good for the children to have both parents equally if that is possible
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I would think if he wants to be an active parent doing his 50% thatâs his right, first of all. Second, if theyâre ever going to be splitting time itâs best to acclimate to that now while theyâre young and adapting is easier. When theyâre older it will be alot harder to change their routines. Theyâre not so young they need to be with their mother 24/7. If youâre fortunate enough to have someone fighting to do their half of the work, for shits sake let them. Some of us would kill for a baby father whos willing to make a phone call once a year⌠
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Depends on the state and the situation. Michigan is a 50/50 state so there would need to be a justifiable reason why you should be given full custody. Its about coparenting and keeping onto the schedule and as long as both parents are sticking to it a judge may not give you full custody.
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If he is good to and for the children then I agree, 50/50 would be ideal for the children. In my case my ex just wanted as much time possible just because that means less child support. We have about a 70/30 and he still flakes all the time. Was supposed to pick them up for Fatherâs Day and never showed. Had them for Fourth of July just to lock them up in his house while he and his girlfriend slept because they were tired from partying previos two days. Can never take our girls to their appointments so I have to book all their appointments on my time. So again if he genuinely wants to be an active father for his children, please let him.
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I hope they give you 50/50 unless he is a piece of crap⌠how dare you think that the children only need a part time father
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Itâs really not about what you want. If dad wants to be a part of there lives let him. It should be 50/50. The kids will get use to going back and forth that will become consistent and normal to them.
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Donât matter, children need mother most n dad weekends If the kids want to go
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A week on and off is consistent. Unless the father is unfit, youâre selfish.
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I always get upset when I see people upset that their childrenâs father wants to be in their childrenâs life. Be grateful that they have a father that cares and wants whats best for them .it needs to be more normalized for fathers to be involved this is why most fathers think its ok to just walk away from their children because woman were always just given full custody and fathers havenât been able to be there like they should so they think they donât have to . Normalize 50/50 custody so all parents can be there for their children .
There are two parents not one, kidâs deserve to spend equal time with both.
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It should be 50/50 if both parents are able. Most courts will agree. Thatâs whatâs in the childâs best interest, unless one parent is abusive or incompetent or unable to take on the responsibility.
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I wish custody was 50/50 in my family when I was younger. Kids need both parents for sure. I had neither of them around much. My aunt raised me. It might seem harder for you but if itâs 50/50 then you arenât having to do and pay for everything yourself and you can have a break every now and then. I do see where the limitations would be though with a 50/50 situation.
If heâs fighting then donât take them from him. They will blame you.
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If he is a good father thatâs a really selfish attitude to have. I would have been more than happy to split 50/50.
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3 and 7 it should be 50/50. It isnât about consistency its about not wanting to share joint. Both deserve equal time with both parents its whatâs best for the kids. Stop being selfish unless of course the other parent is unstable then prove it. But from what I read that doesnât seem to be the issue.
Sounds like you just wanna get that child support money.
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its healthier for the kids if they visit 50/50 parents. please consider their feelings. i grew up in a broken home and i can tell you that damage and resentment will grow when they are adults if u dont. this is not about u and ur ex anymoreâŚits about your kids having both parents in their lives. you will both be valuable assets to them growing into successful adults
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Itâs unlikely that the court will give 50/50 custody, unless both parents agree. The court will most likely give full custody to one with visitation rights to the other.
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Most courts now push for 50/50 if itâs doable. Unless you can actually proof he is unfit (like seriously unfit) they will not just automatically give and 1 parent more custody. There are other factors like schools and travel distance. Like if you live in separate school districts and your children are old enough to go to school, they will look at all aspects before the determine custody.
The judge will decide what is better for them regardless what do you o the other father wantedâŚthere are so many circumstances around the kids to be considered before a final decisionâŚwishing you the best for all of you.
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It will be 50/50. Unless thereâs proof of any kind of abuse. Thatâs the way the courts work now. And itâs about time. Dads should be able to see and have their kids just as much as mom. When I divorced we were going to do 60/40. He then said he was going to fight for 50/50. I sure as hell didnât want that. But I said I would not fight him. Put your feelings aside. Super hard I know! But eventually you will learn to maybe have time for you. Took me over a year for me to âget usedâ to not seeing my daughter for a week at a time. The weeks go by so friggn fast. Dont worry momma. Youâll see. Your kids will appreciate it so much more when their older as well. Eventually they may chose to live with one more than the other when they get older. Be prepared if itâs not you. Good luck. I really mean it. Your heart will heal. 
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50/50 is good for the kids and parents they adjust to their surroundings its not about the mum or dad itâs about the kids they will enjoy both parents
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Yeah hes probably gonna get it if hes gone thru the trouble of going to court for it
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My grandson spent 2 weeks at a time with each parent .Started when he was about 3âŚnow 23
Worked out fine for them!
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Dont be so selfish him fighting says alot
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If he is unfit I can see that but if he is a good father that is a selfish attitude it takes 2 to make a child so there should be 2 parents involved SMH
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Unless he is a shit dad, 50/50 all the way.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What are the chances custody will be 50/50? - Mamas Uncut
My son was 3 days old when his dad and i did week on week off there isnt anything wrong with it. I feel its better for the kids.
50-50 primary placement with you
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Visitation is different than having primary placement. My nieceâs mom is the primary placement, but visitation is 50/50.
They do 50 -50 now days
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Probably 50-50 since its a divorce. If there is no reason not to the judge Probably will grant that
If heâs a good dad thereâs no reason he wont get 50/50. Pretty common practice these days
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3 & 7 - you should be happy he wants 50/50. Most mothers donât get that, and they pray for it. And then we have people like you, who donât understand thatâs heâs just as important as you are. 
donât be selfish.
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Why do you deserve them more then him? Theyâll probably give 50 50. As they should.
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They can have stability with 50 50⌠If heâs a good dad then thereâs no reason why he shouldnât have 50 50
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Depends on a couple factors. Ask your lawyer if there is a list of criteria they judge on. I know our county does. But honestly would it be so horrible to have 50/50? Be thankful their father wants that time and it keeps the parenting field level. Not one parent has more âpowerâ than the other
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Being a father is no less than being a mother⌠50/50 as he should have.
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Courts like 50-50, w 1 primary parent. Idk the state your in, so it makes it hard to give advice. However, if heâs a good father active in their life, then there truly isnât a loss here. Im lucky to have a good ex, father of my children and we had a parenting plan the court provided, and we made our own rules. Kids deserve equal time w both parents and are pretty resilient. They can handle, and appreciate more then we think sometimes
What does your attorney think ?
Itâs going to be 50/50 . The courts want the other parent involved as much as possible. Unless you prove he is unfit and even thatâs difficult to do in some cases. Standard possession allows you with primary care and he gets Thursdays visits from 6 to 8 pm. And weekends the 1st 3rd and 5th Fridays . Holidays are split . Good luck to ya.
Pretty good chances of getting it unless he is proven unfit.
Children of any age need to have both parents in their lives. Donât be selfish. The kids didnât ask for the divorce.
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Children are resilliant, they will be fine, children need BOTH parents equally, itâs you and him that have split up not the children, he deserves to see them equally as much as you, itâs also THEIR right to see you both, not the parents rights rights, he should have 50/50
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As long as mental health and chemical dependency isnât an issue itâs probably gonna be 50/50 thereâs no reason to keep children from dads that what to be apart of their childrenâs lifeâs !!!
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Would you as their mother be okay with only seeing your kids two days a week on weekends or your days off? No? Then why do you expect him to be okay with it as their father? They are his children as much as yours and trying to control or meter out his time with them is only going to make them unhappy with you as they age.
Unless there are genuine concerns for health and safety, most judges donât deny custody simply because mom doesnât want to share. In fact, stances and attitudes like that have increasingly led to the stingy parent being named as the secondary of the 50/50 split.
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50/50 will be good for them. Remember you and your ex are the ones getting divorced, not the children and the parents. You guys can co-parent. Studies have shown that 50/50 parenting is better then one parent having more custody. Children need both parents. You are so blessed to have a man who wants to do this parenting thing. Some of us had to do it ourselves.
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You could get legal 50/50 with you having primaryâŚwhich means they stay with you but see him weekends
So ur saying ur a better parent ? Wow⌠Rather u know it or not⌠Heâs just as IMPORTANT as you !!!
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A lot of kids including babies do one week on and one week off with mom and dad. Kids are resilient they will be fine let them enjoy both parents
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I totally agree at least he wants to spend time with his children unlike some men there are good ones out there and to know he wants shared custody but says what kind of man he is I would totally give him 50/50⌠but best of all with everything
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If he is a good dad 50/50 that is so selfish of you to think you need more time!
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Y should you get more time with them âŚnot really fair âŚhow would u feel if he was trying to do that to you
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If you live in the same area for the same school district and/or he can get the kids to school daily, there is no reason you shouldnât have joint custody. Unless you can prove he isnât fit to have them for a specific reason, they should choose joint custody. Fatherâs are just important and can provide just as must stability.
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You sound selfish be greatful they have a father who wants to be involved! Kids adapt easily and can still maintain stability with a 50,50 custody split as long as parents donât purposely make it more difficult
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Why does the âprimaryâ care and consistency have to be with you? Why canât it be with him?
Unless heâs proven himself unfit, you arenât more important than he is. A lot of parents donât even try for 50/50 in divorces (my mother didnât even bother fighting for my sister and I, she just signed us over to our dad and the judge told her she has to get us every other weekend). Donât be selfish, let the kids get their 50/50 with their dad
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Iâll never understand why some mothers feel they are more important than fathers. Never. I understand when the father isnât active in the childâs life but other than that, YOU, mom, are not more important.
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Didnât they send you to mediation ?
Hopefully small. I did shared parenting. When the kids get older they donât want to leave their friends to spend time with the other parent. It is a nightmare and too hard on the kids. Only done to avoid child support.
There is a custody schedule where for 50/50 it could be 5-5-2-2⌠which means 5 days you, 5 days him, 2 you, 2 him in that order over the course of 14 days. That is a pretty decent stable schedule for children in 2 homes. If dad is a good dad fighting that would be nuts honestly. Taking the kids away from him and only wanting him to see them on weekends hurts the kids in the long run. Also children can adapt to most situations easily, especially when younger. Itâs the parents job to help them through it.
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Mine were 18months and 6 1/2 and they stay with me full time and visit him for tea wednesdays and they stay over on a Friday and any other times they or he wants and itâs always worked for us, I hope it works out for you but I can understand while theyâre little you wanting to be the primary caregiver, itâs not about being selfish at all my ex worked full time around the country and I was part time so could dedicate more time to them, this whole post looks like a bashing bet you wish youâd never asked
It will all depend on what the courts decide especially if u both work full time and your schedules all n all its great to hear your husband wants to see his kids some out there donât and could care less good luck my dear
Those ages seem too young for that type of custody. Especially when the youngest is 3. Now my friend and her ex had a 50/50 no child support for either parent agreement. You pay for the kid when you have them. And anything else like school or activities was paid 50/50 or agreed upon. But their kids were 12 and 7.
What youâre asking wouldnât be 50/50 then. Most courts want 50/50 for the child as long as the other parent isnât doing drugs or any violence in the home or anything crazy like that. Goodluck
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When me and my wife split the 50/50 legal and physical custody was the most important thing to meâŚthats what was granted with her having them mon-tues and me having them wed-thur with us alternating weekendsâŚ
50/50, unless one of you has some major issues, such as drugs history, alcohol history, abuse history, neglect history, etc. Iâve had to have a shared custody arrangement with my ex. One week on, one week off. And he lived a half hour with me. But HE had to do the driving. Kids are adaptable for the most part. It was tough, and I do not think itâs good for children to have such an arrangement. But on the other hand, if heâs good to the kids, as much as he may not be to you, they are still his children too. I went through h-ll with my ex, and I mean h-ll⌠and there were a few parenting issues I had with him, but all in all, I knew our son would safe with his father. It even came to a time, where I decided to have our son go live with his father. I wanted him to have stability. I took everything in me to make this decision. But I did it for our son. Iâm not suggesting u do the same. Iâm just telling u what I did. Anyway, a judge will not âcareâ about the child custody arrangement. Both parents created the child, and unless one parent is unfit, the child has a right to see both parents equally. Unless one moves far away. Then, obviously, then oftentimes, thatâs where things can get messy/nasty. Just be prepared. Anyway, I wish u luck.
There never is a 50/50⌠the parent that has them most will get to claim them on their taxes⌠there are 365 days in a year make sure you keep close tabs on that and expenses⌠medical bills etc.
50/50 is ideal. Mentally, physically, and emotionally the children benefit from equal time with both parents, when its possible.
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I did 2 weeks on 2 weeks off. All their clothes, toys, games, etc stayed at each house. It was good for the kids and good for us as parents too. We got lots of time with them, but also got lots of time for ourselves.
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Most states are 50/50 now. And the children are more than old enough to be with each parent 50/50.
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Slim chance you will get full custody. After all the shoe fits both ways. He could also ask for full custody. 50/50 is what a judge will order. Unless thereâs cause provable proof that one parent is unable to have full custody
Joint custody sucks 6 mths each parent someone needs full custody w shared visitation is but way
My son got full custody 6yrs ago and is an awesome dad.
Sorry you feel like you need to have more custody than dadâŚ
Dads can be consistent and stable too.
Co parent with similar schedules and the whole back and forth wonât feel so bad.
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50/50 in a toxic divorce is a recipe for disaster. Watching it happen in real time in our family.
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Wow parents who use their children as pawns ⌠smh 
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Please be courteous to the OP, as no one in this group other than them, know the personal reasons why behind the question.
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Iâm so glad you have no issue with him seeing them on weekends and his days off. Iâm certain you would then have no issue with you seeing them that often should a judge decide that. Itâs not about what you would have no issue with. Itâs not about you at all. Itâs about the kids and what would be best for them.
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Switching every week will be hard on everyone . I really donât know whatâs best its your familyâs life. The judge should be able to make the right choice. if not get the time changed. Good Luck.
Count your blessings he even wants them 50/50. I know many that donât care at all
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50 / 50 their his children too!
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Be glad he wants to be with his children!
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I was screwed in a custody hearing by a judge who was my ex mother In laws friend. Daughter still hates me 37 years later.
Agree to 50/50 until the kids are old enough to choose.
You need to start by purging yourself of any ill feelings for the dad. More than likely the children will enjoy being witb both parents
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Unless there is good reason the judge will probably order 50/50. The stability comes from 2 parents working together to provide a healthy, loving environment for the children. Children need both parents when itâs possible and need just as much time with one as the other.
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Wow! Glad you are not my mother. Children need both parents equally. How unfair of you to want to take away extra time they can have with their dad. Grow up and quit being selfish.
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Unless there are any outstanding or unsafe reasons for your children to be primarily in one home vs the other, your children deserve both parents equally and thatâs on both adult parents to make sure both homes are consistent, positive, and loving
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