My BD and I just made it official. We have a 9 mo old baby. I have a full time job, buying my home, and have raised 2 kids alone prior to him . When I had my c-section he helped so much with the baby and around the house while I healed. He is technically moved in. We take turns buying the babies necessities. He works on the weekends only and makes enough money to cover his own bills. My family looks down on him for not having a full time Job or helping me financially. I’ve allowed some of their comments get to me and then I question why I allow him to be in my home if he is not helping financially. He is a great dad for being his first and is very involved in the babies life. He pretty much is a stay at home dad. What are some thoughts on a a guy that does not contribute financially. But helps with cooking, cleaning, and staying home with baby?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What are your thoughts on men who don't have a full time job? - Mamas Uncut
Are you happy with how your relationship is? Are all the bills and needs met? If so, don’t worry about it momma. Others opinion doesn’t matter if you’re happy and thriving
If he’s pulling his weight with everything else and you’re ok with it there’s no issues
He is contributing. The cost of daycare would probably be more than he made. Don’t let them get to you. My husband was a stay at home dad when I was in the military.
I’d say it’s your life so you do what works for you.
I don’t think it’s anyone else’s say if it works for you guys then why do they matter ?? See how much it is for daycare and then see if it’s worth it for him to go to work !!
Do what if comfortable to you! If you love him and he helps then that’s what matters! Not everyone else’s comments or family members etc….
I know several SAHD. If it works for you, it works for you! Did it bother you before they started pestering you about it?
If he’s caring for the kids while you work and helping around the house I don’t see an issue at all. If it was the other way and he didn’t help with anything at all then there would definitely be a problem.
Don’t let relatives get into your headspace. Do what works for the 2 of you.
If you chose to be the working parent and it works out for you guys then I see no problem with it at all.
If you’re comfortable with the situation you’re in, that’s fine ! Don’t worry about what others think babe, it’s none of their business as long as you guys are happy x
That’s between you and him not your family. If it’s working for you two how it is it’s none of their business. Daycare is expensive and if he helps you with things you two keep doing what is working for you guys
There are stay at home dads out there people need to realize times have changed
My husband and I took turns working when our little ones where babies. He would work if I didn’t have a job and I would work when he didn’t. Mostly it was me working because I have the ability to make more money then him. He was a stay at home dad most of the kids lives. When they started school he started working part time around their school schedule but that was it
I think you’re happy and you’re letting others take that away from you. Don’t.
There is no difference between a stay at home mom and a stay at home dad. If the relationship works and everyone is happy so be it!
I don’t see how it’s any different than a stay at home mom?
Its just like a stay at home mom. Moms do it. Dads can do it too. My husband and I have both had to be a stay at home parent at some point. As long as you guys are on the same page and agree and love each other and your children, thats all that matters.
If it is beneficial and not a financial burden, it sounds like it is working for you guys!
I am a single mom and my dream is to have a stay at home dad that helps with the kids so i can work and do other daily tasks lol dont let outside influence affect your relationship. Hes contributing more than you may think as daycare is expensive and also housework and chores takes a lot of time and energy its difficult to run a home and stay on top of things. If youre good romatically i think it sounds like a great balance! My ex didnt help financially nor around the house with the kids thats why i left …sounds like a great setup to me 
There is no difference between a SAHM and STAD, as long as they are doing what needs to be done. Would your family be questioning it if you stayed home while he worked full time? Now if he wasn’t doing anything, that would be different. They need to mind their business. Daycare is crazy expensive and him being home with the baby is saving you money.
They wouldn’t say that if the shoe was on the other foot so if it works for y’all who cares what others think and say
Umm he has a full time job. He’s caring for the house and kids. If roles were reversed no one would say anything. Your family needs to stay out of it
That be a blessing I’m a full time stay at home mom and if I was working and he didn’t work and took care of the kids etc that alone is saving money on daycare etc and helping with the house is a blessing! I wouldn’t look down on that just imagine you doing all that by your self with only working on the weekends I believe that is a blessing! In my opinion I’d be grateful for that!! But it’s y’all’s relationship and how you manage things yes he is a man and a lot of people want what it used to be in the old days where the man worked etc and the woman stayed home but in my opinion I believe you have it made!! He might not be helping financially in the house hold bills but at least he is helping you provide with the kids and also helping take care of the house etc. 
If roles were reversed no one would bat an eye.
Taking care of a home and children is contributing immensely.
Your relationship is yours. If he’s taking on the SAHD role, I think that’s wonderful.
He may not be bringing home a large paycheck, but he is spending time with your baby and doing a good job being involved! If you’re happy then it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.
What’s wrong with being a stay-at-home father? No different than a stay-at-home mother.
All that matters is what makes both of you happy and works for your little family. 
I mean women do it all the time so why can’t a man? He is contributing, childcare is expensive. So are housekeepers. I don’t see the problem.
I think whatever works for your family and household is what’s best. It’s just not the social norm so they are sticking their noses up. We’re taught and told that men are the ones who work and mom stays home with the kids. Nobody would bat an eye if roles were reversed.
If they’re not doing one of the 3 f’s pay no attention to the opinions of others regardless if blood or not! If he’s helping at home and you’re happy that’s all that matters
He’s priceless, I wish I had someone to carry this load
Be glad it’s not a guy who works weekends only comes home and doesn’t help with the kids or anything at all. Cause there’s a lot that way. He is doing what he can to help.
You’re blessed to have a man who will cook and clean and if he’s good to your older children as well as his baby then let things be. Especially if you make enough to cover your bills. You are saving the expense of child care.
Your family needs to mind their own business. It’s not their life or their relationship. Does it work for you all? Then that’s all that matters. Next time someone says something remind them they have their own lives to worry about. Never let outside opinions from anyone in your personal life.
Why should it only be allowed for one gender? I could be a SAHM and no one would bat an eye so why can’t a man. I guess it depends though. How old is he? Does he have ambition? Does he have goals or does he want you to do all the work.
If women can do it why not men? If this is what he is good at and your bills are taken care of then this is contributing big time because day care costs are no joke.
It’s no different if you were staying home?
These days every household is different and what works for you is no one else’s business, I mean then you would have to fork out more money for daycare…
None of this would be questioned had it been you staying home. Why is it with the man??
I think it’s great! If you’re happy and he’s happy and the kids are happy then go with it! Who cares what anyone else thinks? They don’t walk in your shoes and until they do or they’re paying your bills then what they think doesn’t matter!!!
Yo you got yourself a MR. MOM! There’s no difference in a SAHM or a SAHD. Be thankful he’s willing to be there for his child and care for him/her.
As long as he has money for his bills and y’all seem to pay things separately I think it’s cool y’all got it worked out!
If it works for you both, then who cares what anyone else thinks? Don’t let the comments slide, they’re disrespecting you and your man. There’s no difference in being a stay at home dad than a stay at home mom.
If a mom can stay at home, why can’t a dad, he cooks, cleans, takes care of the baby physically and mentally, and y’all take turns buying necsisites and what the baby needs, if you are okay with him staying home and taking care of everything then it doesn’t really matter what other people think, there are alot of stay at home dad’s. He’s providing and helping in the areas that you can’t at the moment cause of work. He doesn’t let the baby go without it sounds like, and child care is super expensive now days even sometimes with two full time incomes, and plus at least with him being with the baby you’ll have someone you will always know and be able to trust with the baby, not all day cares or babysitters can be fully trust worthy, we all hear stories.
Stay-at-home parent.
It’s about time we change the stereotype that it has to be a woman who stays home to take care of the house and children.
by being a Stay-at-home parent, he IS CONTRIBUTING importantly while you’re at work. hope the wedding is soon and great!
This is nobody’s business but yours. If the situation works for you and y’all have worked things out… then it’s just fine!
If it works in your home and y’all are just fine with it don’t worry about what others have to say and if you live your life like that your never gonna be happy living to plz others do as you feel
Sounds like he’s contributing to me. If he didn’t help around the house and with kids, then I’d say it’s a problem he’s not working full time.
I personally wouldn’t like it but that doesn’t matter.
What does matter is what you guys think. If you guys are happy with this arrangement, then it’s no one’s business. Honest communication is so important.
I think that if your happy and it’s working on weekends and staying home with the your baby and doing the caring, cleaning etc whilst your at work then the roles are just reversed there is nothing wrong with that he sounds like he wants to be involved which is amazing! Also if he is working on weekends he is still assisting financially by covering his bills thus not relying on your finances for himself… so really it sounds like he is doing great! And if your happy just ignore everyone else or tell them he is a stay at home dad and your both happy x
Same as a stay at home mother as long as he is doing the thing in the house and for the child. As long as y’all are happy with the arrangements that’s what should matter. It’s not like he is doing nothing. That would be different. I see nothing wrong with it.
No ones business but yours, and I’d tell people that.
You are very fortunate!
I think he is doing his part. No one bats an eye when a woman is a stay at home mom. In fact we often times put a priceless price tag on that because of all the work that goes into being a stay at home parent. I would love to have someone able to stay with the children instead of paying ridiculous childcare costs. I’d also feel better knowing the kids were with my partner
Whatever works for you and your family. If u guys can get bills paid and live comfortably I don’t see an issue with it. My Dad was a SAHD and my Mom worked full time.
Every dynamic is different. If it doesn’t bother you aside from the comments why should it matter? He covers himself and pays his fair share with the baby and is a good father. Your family/household your dynamic on what works. Don’t let your extended family dictate or pressure you to change what works for your household/family.
I’d never be with someone or have a kid with them if they only worked 2 days a week. That’s not a man that wants to support his family, sorry but a firm no from me.
Technically moved in meaning he is moved in or still has his own place he has to pay for. Maybe try and talking with him about actually moving in so he can then help financially if that’s what you actually want. Other than that count your blessings that he is a good father and able to be with your child as much as he is. You sound fairly successful however if this was you staying home no one would be saying anything because of the baby. If it didn’t bother you before don’t let it now it’s not your families relationship it’s yours.
Gender shouldn’t matter in this. It’s no different than if a woman is a SAHM or only works part time. So long as child care is handled, he is working. Child care is wirk.
If he’s taking care of the baby and helping with baby supplies AND you are happy with this arrangement it’s nobody’s business but yours. Women have been doing this for years.
Looks like he is staying with baby while you work, so he is contributing if you not paying for daycare!
The REAL question is is does it work for YALL? Cause that’s really all that matters
I know a family where the woman is the primary bread winner and the husband takes shifts that are easier to parent with. He is an amazing dad that is a huge part of his family’s life. I don’t think anyone can look down at that. They’ll either look down on him for being an absent parent cuz he works all the time or not enough. It’s your life and what works for your family.
I’d call that contributing! Seems like use have a good thing going x
From my experience, keep your household business within your house, family intervening will cause issues between y’all two, and it doesn’t end well if outside opinions affect your true feelings in the role of either of you, in your house.
As long as he’s helping take care of yalls baby, and even your other 2 kids, forget what anyone else thinks. If you’re happy, then who cares? Do you. Don’t live your life trying to please them.
You need to set boundaries with your family and draw a hard line in the sand. It’s YOUR family and YOUR relationship. If everyone’s needs are being met and everyone’s happy - that’s all that matters.
What would be the difference if roles were reversed? Dads work full time while moms stay home or work part time and it’s no big deal. Shouldn’t matter. Does he watch the kids while you work? If so then he’s working cause childcare is expensive. Does he cook and clean the house? Then he’s working. Stop letting your family run your life and relationship and home.
Same as a stay home mom, if he stays home and cooks, cleans, takes great care of the baby it’s completely valid in my book. It wouldn’t even be wrong if you gave him money, if you make enough for both of you as husbands provide for their wives who stay at home. Now, he even has a part time to pay for his stuff, to me it works even better. Live your life the way you feel comfortable with and don’t let people who don’t pay your bills bother you with their opinions. It’s none of their business.
I’m a SAHM and I do all of that but don’t contribute financially! I say if he is a great dad, and does cleaning and cooking, it’s a win, hopefully soon he can start to work more to contribute a bit! Good luck to you!
What about long term. You said he’s making enough for just his bills. What does that include? Does he help with bills at your house?? Do you have to use daycare, is he watching the baby while you work? How is he with your other children? What about long term?? He’s basically just surviving financially but he doesn’t sound like he is thriving or growing. I’m not saying to call it quits just yet. But talk to him about his future goals. Are you ok with being the “bread winner”. Is this sustainable for long term??
He is helping you though, he’s staying home with baby. It’s saving you guys money on childcare. I could see if baby was is daycare, then he should be working.
Its your life…you decide…its no one else’s business
Being a stay at home parent is a job all on its own. Whether it’s mom or dad… Ppl diminish what it actually takes to be one. Plus he works an actual job on the weekend. Look there’s men out there who barely contribute to helping with home & baby, you got a good one if he’s willing to be so hands on in that aspect. Plus the cost of daycare would probably eat most of if not all of what he’d make working during the week anyways. Ppl will always have something negative to say from an outside perspective. Working all week isn’t what makes someone a good partner/parent.
I guess I’m the odd ball out here. Unless he has a physical disability I feel like he should work full time. I’m happy he helps so much with baby but to me if you are working full time then so should the man. It’s very hard on me as a mother to work full time and be away from my kids that much but I do it because our household does better with 2 incomes. We don’t want to struggle and we want better for our kids so I work and make pretty decent money myself. Just my 2 cents and I definitely see where your family is coming from. From seeing other family members situations with men like that it only gets worse, you asked the question here so it sounds like you aren’t sure about it either. I’d definitely see why he isn’t working full time. He was only working part time before baby too from what I gather so make sure he’s not too lazy to work full time and help contribute to the household since he will be living there also.
Hes still helping financially because he’s keeping you from having to pay for childcare 
If the roles were reversed would you expect them to make the same comments about you being a stay at home mum?
If what you guys are doing works for you then keep doing it. It saves on daycare and allows him time to also bond with baby.
that’s what that man needs to hear.
Tell him thank you and you appreciate him.
Tell your family to mind there own business since they aren’t paying your bills or sleeping in your bed.
I think he makes up for it in all other ways as long as you aren’t struggling financially it’s great someone is able to take of the baby . Child care is expensive and sometimes defeats the purpose of someone working. Family shouldn’t be in your business.
So he is living there for free?
I am pld school to a fault. He needs a job.
Stay at home dad’s are the best
Reminds me of my second husband, he was a great house wife but could not keep a full time job. It was working out great with him babysitting during the day, and stayed somewhere else. We couldn’t handle living together w/o him helping with the bills.
Why is it okay for there to be stay at home moms but not stay at home dads?
Don’t let them get to you if it works for you then do it. If the roles were reversed they wouldn’t say anything
I really don’t understand the question!? Uummm… Girl that sounds like heaven! You have a partner who takes care of your kids, and your house, and he pays his bills! Uummm what exactly is the problem?
We have stay at home moms so why not a stay at home dad? If he’s active don’t take that away from your baby
I think all that really matters here is that everyone is happy…everyone being him you bubs and your other two children. If your happy then don’t allow these comments to get to you…would it be the same if you were living in his house that he is buying and staying home with the babe do you think your parents would make the same remarks to you? You only work weekends you need to do do this that blah blah…it’s not their business it’s yours and your partner’s and to me it sounds like you have a good system between you both best of luck
He’s a stay at home dad so he is working full time, and I think it’s amazing
The genders don’t matter. What does matter, if you’re the one covering all the bills? If you want him to split the bills, then that’s something you’re gonna have to work out with him and tell him you want help
Negative for me but to each their own🤷♀️
Think about what you’re saving on daycare as his contribution
Nope. My ex tried that and just did nothing. Had to hire a sitter while I worked 2 jobs. I’d never go for it, but do you.
If you’re in a relationship and you’re working and he’s caring for the baby, he’s a stay at home dad. That’s not a job but it’s absolutely contributing to the household and family.
Tell your relatives to butt out. It’s none of their business how your household is run.
If he is watching baby during the week while your work that is saving a lot of money in day care. Sounds like a stay at home dad to me and that sounds like a win.
You do what works for your household. If y’all both worked full time, who’s to say you wouldn’t have to deal with daycare? That alone is a pay check. One of you not working full time does have its benefits- if you can afford it or worked opposite shifts. My husband doesn’t work, but he makes sure I get the sleep I need and the house is kept up and the kids taken care of. It’s just what works for your family. As long as everyone is happy, that’s what matters