Ok so I have a six-year-old daughter about to be seven in November. She is constantly lying and manipulating everyone around her. She is so bad that almost everything out of her mouth is a lie or manipulation tactic. And no, I’m not exaggerating. She lies even though I know the truth. Its almost like she can’t help it, or doesn’t know she is doing it. I have seriously tried everything to try and get her to stop. But nothing is working!!! Any advice or ideas??? Please!!!
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Have her watch pinocchio
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Tell her to stick out her tongue and say if you lie there will be a blue line down the middle make her look in the mirror worked for my children
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She had to have learned from someone
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If it my was my daughter I’d prob take her in to get some kind of therapy and go with her to see what to do … sorry your going through this parenting can get real hard not a bad thing to reach out for help if needed
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I bagged everything in my daughter’s room up, and unplugged the TV until she stopped. She slowly earned the bags back with each week she didn’t lie.
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Put soap on her tongue I do with mine they stopped
Maybe seek out a child psychologist. My step daughter did this and it only got worse the older she got. She lives in a different state now, but most likely has an undiagnosed disorder.
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nip this in the bud…she’s to old for this to continue…soap in the mouth…lots of ways…but unless it’s going to make her want to stop…it won’t be severe enough…hurry.
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I used to tell my daughter that could smell lies and I’d sniff her lol
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I’m dealing with this aswell atm. My 7 year old (nearly 8) is constantly lying, I could literally watch her do somthing and she will then say she didn’t do it 
She has even stolen stuff at school and reckons her friends give them to her.
Money has gone missing from my wallet and I find out she’s ordered her lunch that day 
Once she come home with a gold locket and said she got it from the lucky dip. OBVIOUSLY I made her return it and explained how bad it is to steal and lie (still continues with the lie and even brings on the water works) 
I’ve honestly thought as far as talking to the police to see if they can come and have a word with her about how what she is doing is not OK and if she was older she would be put in jail etc - I know this seems a bit far, but I’ve literally tried everything.
It literally scares me… And I will do what it takes to make sure she learns that what she is doing is not OK. I’ve got 3 kids - the other two are boys and I’ve never had this problem with them.
I’ve always tried my hardest to teach and show my children how to be and grow into good humans and my daughter makes me question my parenting 1000%
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Where did she learn it from?
Lying is a normal part of human development in little kids. I am not excusing it. It is very frustrating. Do a little reading about it and it may inspire a little grace.
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I got caught lying to my mom ONCE and she beat my ass with a belt. I never lied to her again lol
Does she have a favorite place she likes to go to or favorite things she likes to do tell her you’re going to do that and when it comes time to do it tell her no I lied. Tell her you’re going to have her favorite dessert after dinner when dinner’s done and she expects her dessert tell her no I lied, see lies have consequences.
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Pediatric therapy is great. Most insurance covers a couple sessions if you get pediatrician referral.
My 8 year old son had really bad control issues. It actually stemmed from anxiety that he’s been learning to manage through therapy.
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There is such thing as a compulsive liar. If you really think she is doing it and can’t help it then I’d seek a behavioral therapist
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Well if it’s that bad you should probably get her some counseling.
If i catch my son in a lie he does a wall sit 
But i reiterate to my son. 98% of the time you wont get in trouble with me if ya own up to it. Its called accountability.
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I tell my 5.5 year old that hos ears turn redder and parents can see that when hes lying. Now, if hes lying, he tries to cover his ears and we know.
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My daughter lies allllllll the time too! She does have some diagnoses, but it is something I don’t tolerate. We are still working through it… we go to counseling and she participates in respite and CBRS services. I have found that she had to feel the consequence. Recently she had used her dirty clothes pile as a toilet (only # 1 thank goodness). I immediately talked with another mom and one of her counselors. She had to clean up the whole thing and wash her laundry. (It was a front loader, so she smelled the yuckiness the whole time). The whole time I said “good choices, good consequences; bad choices, bad consequences.”
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She may have ADHD. Therapy doesn’t help. I know I was the same way when I was small. Idk why I would lie. I just would. And more if I knew I’d get in trouble.
Every single time she does it, point it out. Even if it’s in front of people. That’s the only way to stop it. I’m not a fan of shamming anyone but compulsive lying it’s necessary. I remember growing up around a few, one girl had a teenager put in jail for two years because she lied, he only got out when she confessed to making allegations up. I have seen first hand what growing up with a liar is like. My dad is 75 his mother babied him forever, paid everything until she died when he was 66. Then she left him alot of property and money, that Im supposed to manage for him. He’s like a three old still to this day, will lie with a straight face all day long. It can be broken though. As teenagers my husband and I had a friend who always lied about everything in the world, the group just started pointing out the lies and stopped paying attention to them, he stopped and grew up to be a normal person, probably now one of the most honest people you could meet.
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I have 8 year old she lies and she’s ADHD and odd odd is behavior problem have her checked for both
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Does she know the difference between a lie and a truth? Mine is five about to be six in november Too and shes just now starting to get the difference not much but its it’s a start …read her the book who cried wolf and start takings things away that she likes special treat playground certain toys ect shell learn also maybe anouther conve about the difference may help her
my sister has a disorder that causes her to do this. take her in to get checked
Not sure how she was influenced to tell lies but maybe it will help to find out the reason why she lies. Is she getting scolded when she did something wrong? Is she influenced in school or playmates? Is she allowed to express her feelings freely? Isn’t she being lied to even if she knows the truth? Some children would lie if they know they’d be in trouble which can be normal. Just constantly remind her that it’s never okay to lie & she can tell you anything & everything regardless if it’s a good or bad thing. Ask her to be open, talk about her feelings, admit mistakes, listen to her & let her vent her feelings. Having a specialist check on her is also an option as she may need intervention. There are also instances that kids would lie continuously just for fun but we all know it’s not fun. We all lied around that age, I guess, but if it’s really becoming a huge issue & not controllable, seek help.
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I’m not sure if their telling lies or not at this age or maybe it’s a way of keeping themselves out of trouble , or protecting themselves, they are very young and don’t know the difference , but I think they need it well explained to them rather than be on their bk about right from wrong
Tell her the story about the boy who was crying wolf… it help my daughter to understand
My 5yr old son has just started lying, mostly small white lies. Some have been a bit more serious. He’s a big story teller and I think it has stemmed from that.
I make a point of saying “thank you for telling me the truth, I appreciate it”, and staying calm if its something I would usually get a bit angry or upset about. Especially if they lie so that you don’t get upset with them.
We have also made it so that the punishment for telling the truth when he’s done something he shouldn’t is light or none at all compared to the one we would give if he has lied about it. But I also always give him the opportunity to tell me by asking “are you sure that’s what happened?” Or “is that the truth? you can tell me”
Been a few times hes changed the story, said he won’t do that again and we move on
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I was that way as a kid. My mom looked up Bible verses about lying and made me write them 100 times 
It worked!
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Children learn to lie at around age 3… children go through the “liar stage” between 5 &8 its actually a developmental step… the only real way to combat it is 1. Kindly call them out on telling a lie (not mean, just say “listen, i know that story isnt true, i would be much more interested in the actual story.” 2. Explain why lying is bad ie: noone will believe u when u really need them to 3. Stand ur ground and be consistent with steps 1 and 2 eventually they get it. Last but not least every child DOES go through this i dont care what anyone says… some are just either better at it or more determined to test thier new found skill
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Counseling and take away every privaledge.
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Whip her ass one time n tell her every time she lies she is grounded after the slab on the butt
We don’t talk about punishment until we talk about the feelings and thought process behind the destructive action.
Kids can’t understand their feelings or control their behaviors until they are given the tools to do so.
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My daughter asked do you know when I’m lying bc you’re a witch? I told her yup! Hasn’t lied since. It also helped that we watched hocus pocus lol sometimes the silly things really work.
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When my baby brother was little he use to lie all the time. We use to stay with my grandmother and she use to always tell us that if we lie, we will steal and if we steal we will get caught and go to jail. That was our motto in our home. So one day she just took my brother to the police station and asked one of the policemen to show my brother the cells where they lock up people who steal and eventually he got the memo.
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lie to her she wont like
I’ve heard ADHD mentioned a few times, can it be explained, my daughter has that and some other things and does this, shes 6, so I’m curious about the connection
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My niece did that and still kind of does but has gotten better. She’s 9. Take away all her stuff. All the toys electronics everything dude. Call her out in front of everyone. Embarrass the shit out of her for lying. Cause that shit is not ok. And if anyone in your family tells you otherwise kindly ask them to fuck off cause it’s not their kid.
Maybe try a mental health expert.
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If you thinks it’s compulsive to lie and manipulate then it’s time to get her into a professional. Try to get rid off the behavior as much as possible ASAP!
Had to go through this tonight. My kids dad caught my 3 year old son climbing on a chair to get to the cookies we made on the counter, he took a picture because me being mom I wouldn’t have believed it lol when I asked my son what happened he blamed his 2 year old sister and kept with the same story even after we showed him the picture
It was easy for me my Son would bite his lower lip when he told a Fib!
We told my 6 year old that when she lies her eyes turn yellow. Now, after every time she lies she asks “are my eyes yellow?”
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Narcissistic behavior. I’d take her in for some counseling although she may not be up for it.
I was like this. I didn’t even realize it or mean for it, it just was my survival tactic. My parents didnt get me therapy right away and eventually the lying got worse i and began cutting to release that need to get reveal the truth.
Therapy over the years did wonders for my self worth and confidence, also i learned how to turn my life around. Now as a mom im always looking out for changes in my kids mental state of mind. Asking why. And am trying to help the.
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I tell you about my grandson he exactly like her my son and the wife what you call parents try a lot about him you know what I told the parents don’t call him layer don’t call anything bad to him bring him close to you hug him son you a good boy he needs love if you call him or her lyer her mind is there and the devil love to after her pray for her gave her a positive attitude and give her the word of God gave me her name is can pray for her too there is nothing impossible with God
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I have a step daughter who constantly lies. Lies when we know the truth. Lies when we have seen her do it with our own eyes. Lies for literally no reason at all. It started very young. She’s now 11 and it’s only getting worse. She plays innocent angel with her dad and he turns a blind eye because he feels guilty. I think it stems from her mother who is a true sociopath. Can’t send her to therapy, tried that, the mom will just manipulate the situation. Extremely frustrating.
I think it’s just the age. My almost 6 year old son has been doing the same thing and it drives me nuts
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she needs your attention…if she doing something bad dnt be angry with her…please make a mother daughter’s friendly relationship with her…
Its a phase they go thro im hoping…my kids are 11, 9, 8 & 5…and i have that problem at the moment. Its pretty frustrating.
You might take her to get tested to see if she has ADD or ADHD. I know a few people who are compulsive liars and they have one or both conditions; usually when it gets bad it’s because they either haven’t taken their meds or need it adjusted
I told my son that when he lies that his ears turn red so when I know he’s lying, I tell him his ears are turning red and he kind of smiles and tells me the truth. He’s 6 years old.
My grandson who i care for used to lie and believed what he was saying no matter what wr said he never changed the lies .it can be v serious .we found out he has sensuary perception disorder .
Good or bad attention is still attention that they look for !
Kids lie around this she and can do it well ! Explain and punish, hit them where it hurts … favorite things not just toys like can’t go see friends, can’t play outside things that make them think. my daughter brings my granddaughter over here when she lies and she acts just Blaine to me what she did and our relationship is so close that when I’m disappointed in her she takes it really hard, she stopped lying !
It’s not the end of the world… This is not unusual for this age. For the love of God do NOT use Bible verses as punishment!! You want them to love the Lord not think they’re going to hell bc they’ve sinned. God forgives all! Instead tell the story of The boy who cried wolf. My kids for the most part were always truthful with me bc for one I didn’t make them feel scared to tell the truth. I expressed to them over n over an ugly truth is ALWAYS better than a pretty lie and I absolutely wanted to believe every word that they said to me. Also expressed to them I don’t lie to you I demand the same respect. And our pinkie promise is still sacred today. Fast forward some years my 7 year old granddaughter started fibbing over nonsense at about age 5. I used the same tactics and now she’ll still attempt sometimes and all I have to do is a raise an eyebrow hold out my pinkie and she fesses up right away. Teach by example and always keep your word and promises!!
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Does she do other things as well? Like, hyper focus, can not sit still, messy room, hard time making/keeping friends, tells part of the story/information and then the rest hours later, trouble sleeping-fallingand staying asleep? Our sons first sign of ADHD was lying around age 7. Kids sadly have it more now than ever. It could also be something else, any changes in the family? Stress with the new changes to schooling? New friends? Maybe it was picked up elsewhere??
Deny her. I did that a lot when I was little. Lying to me didn’t help. It encouraged it. The best thing was to tell me no because I was lying or being manipulative. For some kids it is natural because they realize they can get away with it and for others they are being taught. Figuring that out is up to you. And you can’t be a hypocrite about it. Even the small things. And you have to determine a punishment for the offenses. I would also see a child psychologist. Just try one out for about a month, once a week if your insurance will cover it, especially if it is her nature vs nurture response.
Someone around her has taught her that, and does the same I’d say. too young to know that rope on her own
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Tear that butt up and make memorize Bible verses about how wrong it is to lie. Worked on mine 20 years ago and my grandbabies today.
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Start praying with her about it. It works wonders.
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Just tell her her nose will grow so big if she keeps it up… read her the story of Pinocchio
Watch the movie with her
Lie to her. Tell her your gonna buy her something then when she asks where it is say “oops I lied” and do this until she understands how it feels to be lied to
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My 7.5 year old niece with ADHD (on meds) lies a lot. When her parents catch her, I know they spank almost every time. Her mom spanks her a lot, my brother not as often. He caught her last fall with chocolate all over her face from the Halloween candy that she had sneaked instead of getting up and ready for school (her mom left it out after my brother reminded her to put it away, but that’s a whole other problem!). Then my niece threw the wrappers into the dog crate and told my brother that the dog had gotten into the candy. He asked her how the dog did that while still closed into his crate. He said she got a “I didn’t think this through very well” look on her face. He didn’t spank her because they were already late leaving for school, but I assure you if it were my child not only would she have been spanked, she’d have watched me throw the rest of the candy into the trash. We hope she stops with the lying, but so far no.
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Sometimes people believe what they are saying even though it’s not true. If that’s the case then shes not lying. She is just giving incorrect information. On the other hand there are those who will knowingly tell an untruth. Usually because they are afarid of the consequences. Sometimes it’s to get attention. If she has has ADHD. Then there is a medical reason for her problem and you need to seek help for her. This sounds like something she cant control. Praise her when she tells the truth . And correct her when she dont. Dont act upset with her but inform her of the truth.
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She probably don’t know how to distinguish a lie between the truth. At such a young age, it seems to me she has some kind of problem. She need some form of therapy. Get her the help she need soon. Before she grow into a habitual liar. Then you will really have a problem. Good luck 
My 14 year old does it too after about 5 minutes of lying she’ll tell the truth. Spanking is not an option at her age but she was punished for 4 months for lying and now she thinks before she says anything. She was diagnosed with ADHD and impulsive compulsive disorder. Maybe speak with a behavior counselor because it may be a something chemically wrong.
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Everytime she lies, call her out on it. And let her know that telling the truth, she will not be in as much trouble as lying. And if that doesn’t work then I would try some professional advice…
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I would say seek out a professional, I’m in no way saying something is wrong with her, sometimes you need a third party for them to truely understand what they are doing.
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My daughter at about 9yo went through as faise of lying too! It’s quite common for attention I just sat her down and explained that how it affects the feelings of others and how it can affect Trust friendships/ relationships with people. And always used too say are you sure that happened? Giving her a chance to adjust, evaluate the situation from her side. Always explain their could be consequences of Lying. ie:removal of games console/Phone, dance class. Being found out trough cctv more trustable person. Take time and listen Trust is a 2way thing. X
This girl needs serious therapy. Something is making her lie. It could be a chemical imbalance or a trauma you know nothing about. Get her help at once
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My son has told me the truth from the beginning but my girls try to fib. Sometimes the reactions they get when truth is told can be why they can be scared to be truthful. If calm when the truth is told, no matter how bad the issue is, they learn that a parent doesn’t overreact
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Make sure she doesnt have a trauma event or a parent or both leaving her. Our daughter has ADHD and Reactive attachment disorder causing lies non stop and major manipulation.
how do you parent your kid? are you too lenient or are you too cruel? both quite often produce bad offsprings. maybe learn the right parenting style? n ask a pediatric psychiatrist/psychologist abt this
Take her to a professional sound like signs of ADHD they can put her on medication and sessions. Do it for her mental health do not ignore it or think it is going away because it will not.
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My adopted son did the same thing, still does and he is 24 years old. Maybe instead of punishment, make a big deal in instances when she tells the truth. Sometimes the negative attention adds to the circle of lying. Also, give her an opportunity to be successful… put her in situations where she can’t possible lie, then praise her tons! Trust me, having an 8 year lie is much easier than a 24 year old.
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There are couple possiblities… 1. She’s doing it for attention; if so then punish her each time and she’ll soon get tired of it.
2. It’s a cry for help; she might be getting bullied or was molested and you don’t know it and this is her way of dealing
3. She’s a pathological lier , which is a mental illness/condition
Either situation theropy or counsling might be helpful and BEST to help determine what’s going on with her and/or help her stop.
My parent did foster care for a while and I remember them saying that they were told when dealing with kids who lie don’t give them an option to lie. Ex… don’t say, did you, you say… why did you.
As they get older personally I would tell them if they keep it up and I can’t trust them they don’t get things. Or even tell them you will wash their mouth out. I know some will say it’s abuse but honestly I did This once and never had to do it again. Of course I only put a little drop so if didn’t hurt them!
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I once read that instead of saying “Did you”, you say “Why did you” in situations where you know what the child did. Their first instinct is to deny. I would also recommend seeing a professional to help you.
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Old times, the punishment I xperieced
Was kneel at the corner aside from praying
I was the same way as a kid I also had ADHD it is really hard to stop lying i .ean hard I did stop it took a lot on my part sometimes I would stay silent for hours instead of telling the truth its like your mind won’t you
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Therapy. And until things change she sits at the kitchen table in sight doesn’t get to do anything outside of your view. Our oldest did this. This was the only home routine that changed the way he acted and made him realize everything.
I explained to my son that I couldn’t believe anything he said, when he told me he loved me, I said I wish you did, when he said I’m sorry, I said I don’t think so! After a few weeks I said now, can we make a truce…you tell me the truth and I will believe you. We will start, right now. I explained that God reveals all lies…he is trustworthy now!
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I know this will be an unpopular opinion, and I am not sure how helpful it is… my daughter really stretched her wings around that age in testing out her deception techniques. It is an awful truth that our world is full of lies and, they range in severity from " I didn’t kill that guy" to " Wow, that hat looks great on you".
While we all wish that people were always honest, it will never be… so, being skillful in lying is valuable. Valuable for recognizing when others are trying to deceive you as well. I feel like I am a mostly honest person, but if I am completely “honest” it is not 100%. Anyone who boasts 100% is lying. Our little ones are learning when they do this with us. I think the level you are describing might be cause to seek a professional opinion, but I think there is hope. Heck, I see a potential political career ahead of this one, given enough practice : )
Well…I had to hold a bar of wet Ivory soap in my mouth for a couple minutes, but I’m not sure if a lot of parents today are willing to do that kind of affective parenting. It definitely fixed my lying! And the good thing is that it only took a couple of times.
Observation by school.behaviours might help…possible narcissism trait or.manipulation …now a days children are capable of this at a young age…or sibling rivalry…so hard to diagnois school would help wth this
There are small tricks like “each time you lie or tell something not true I know when your not telling the truth because… (insert the tell here)”
“I know your not telling the truth because there is a blue dot that glows on your forehead that only adults can see“
This may help because then she’ll try to cover her forehead each time.
As for the manipulation, I’m not sure how or what could help.
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My child does the same. She 9 & has ADHD. & everytime I ask her why she lies after making her come clean, she says she doesn’t know why. Punishment doesn’t help. She has recently started to pull out her own eyelashes and eyebrows with her fingers.
Maybe start accepting it. Just blindly agree or concur with her. See what happens. After a while she might just start telling the truth.
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By now it should be obvious some outside help in therapy is a great place to start
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A bar of lava soap works wonders just ask my son he is 45 and he remembers it vividly
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My son got caught telling a fib. So when I questioned him why he lied, he could not give me an answer. So I sat down beside him and we were talking and told him that lies could get someone hurt. It does not matter who, but someone can get hurt. Then explained that there are only truths and if lied to me ever, there would be major punishment. So a few days later a friend’s son came over and my son told me something that would cause his friend to get hurt. The friend could not believe her son lied because he is such a “good kid”. To this day having a conversation with my son about lying has been a big help. Now as far as the trying to get other people to do things, turn it around on to her. Ask her is it fun to make someone else to do her job. My daughter tried doing that when she was younger, but learned real quick that I did not put up with that.
My niece was like that as a child she’s 20 still does it. I call her out on it she will get mad
My daughter is A compulsive liar since maybe 12 years old she can’t stop it is like a disease or sickness no idea how to fix it
She could lying disorder. Sometimes people can’t help it. But she should get some help
Big question. Are you co-parenting with a ex or is her dad in the family unit. Her lying could be the beginnings of alot of things from devided parenting, Bi-Polar, ADHD, learned behavior from another party. The best advise is to get her professional help and diagnosed if there is a organic problem. If not. Then you need some serious structure and consequences for her lying
When I cought my kids in a lie I didn’t believe anything they said for a week. If they said they wanted pamcakes for a meal I fixed bacon and eggs and said that since they had been lying I didn’t know if they still were. For a week I didn’t believe anything they said. It worked mostly. As adults they said that they never told big lies again but still told me some fibs. They did grow up to be good adults. Is worth trying. They ask for chocolate ice cream, give them another flavor, and so on. Tell them thst since they lie to you you don’t know if they are telking the truth each time you don’t believe them.
Tell her you will give her up for adoption if it doesn’t stop
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