Children say those things when they don’t have the words to express their feelings. Give her the words. Be patient. Being a parent I sit about controlling your child’s behaviour. It’s about giving them all the skills to cope and articulate their needs.
Omgness I’m in the exact same boat my daughter just turned 8 and the screaming fits and crazy stomping and screaming like I’m beating her I have to walk outside just so the neighbors can see that she is just throwing a temper tantrum from hell
Sounds like she has something mentally wrong with her id take her to a psychiatrist as you’ve tried everything PHYSICALLY to try now it’s time to get to the INTERNAL root of her issues , she seems to not like herself at all and that’s sad in itself , she has a lot of built up anger
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try taking her outside or offering a walk for ten minutes of special space to talk about how she’s feeling and eliminate the isolation involved with time out or going to her room by sitting with her and being available for a hug or to talk if she’s ready
If she’s raising her voice speak to her in a softer voice to encourage her to try and do the same
I dunno I try all these things and my kid still has tantrums
Good luck
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This sounds like my 8 year old who was diagnosed with ODD and OCD.
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I never went through this with my kids or my grandkids One of my friends had a little boy that always said things like this so one day she said okay we’ll just get you a new mom and she said come on let’s go I’ll find you a new mom and he straighten right up so good luck I hope you get her help
Stop hitting her. Treat her with the kindness you expect. Let both of your individual therapists know what you’re doing isn’t working and find out what they recommend next
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Feingold diet I would look into this
Ok 1. Don’t you dare put that guilt all on your plate. There are two parents raising this child, one just isn’t home that much & there are ways to manage his relationship with her while he’s on the road.
- You need help honey. Period. And that is OK! We all do! These kids (as in all kids, yes I said what I said) are wild - and why wouldn’t they be? They’re still learning to be humans & that is a lifelong lesson, wouldn’t you say?
Find a mommy friend with kids her age & make sure that friend is someone you feel safe with - safe meaning she won’t judge you bc you haven’t gotten it all sorted out mom & knows what you’re trying to manage.
Therapy. Yea, this is a hot topic - but some kids don’t know what to do with their very big feelings & sometimes, mom & dad are the hardest people to take help from when you’re 7. There are therapists & councilors who can help you both understand & then cope with her methods of managing her feelings.
Dad needs to take a bigger step into the situation. A tight calendar schedule that lays out when Dad is home so that she can do stuff JUST with her & that could help your little one look forward to that more than ever. Add FaceTime calls to your calendar, daddy daughter dates, family movie or game nights…stuff like that.
Finally, art or music. Get your baby in an arts or music class or a kids musical theater program. Music & the arts speak to kids in a very different way than most things & the socialization is off the charts. Not to mention the whole “you’re a part of a bigger picture” thing that comes with completing a show from start to finish.
May the odds ever be in your favor.
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Most kids will act out around the ones that make them feel safe… So keep that in mind that she feels safe with you… Ya get her in some sort of therapy to help her and you understand her emotions. Maybe try a sport that is disciplined like boxing or Karate. Believe it or not those sports do help
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Start w/a talk when she’s happy …
talk about anything - Make sure & tell her -Mom loves to see you smile & when you are happy !!!
She probably misses Dad,when he’s back maybe he could talk to her as well …
Also, maybe somethings going on at school (bullying) rule out any & everything … keep giving lots of love & reinforcements!!!
*Positive Affirmations (I am smart, kind, I follow directions, ect)
and def look into scheduling a chk up w/her pediatrician …
Best wishes Mom 🫶🏼
In the meantime & between time, talk care of YOU too…
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I’m sorry. I don’t have answers, just wanted to comment to let you know you’re not alone. My daughter has had behavioral issues for years. She is now 8 and seems to be growing out of them. Sending hugs from one frustrated momma to another 
My younger daughter was like that for a while, I was afraid of odd it was so bad, nothing worked with her either. Then one day she flipped because I would not carry her because she jumped in a puddle in winter and her feet were froze and started hurting. When we made it home from our walk we spent an hour screaming at each other, she would say mean hateful things and I would raise my voice to tell her I love her. She can tell me anything she wants and I will always love her through any pain and anger she throws at me. I held her while she screamed and tried to throw me off. An hour straight of that. Finally she calmed down… things changed after that. Don’t get me wrong she’s still a hellion, opinionated and wants it how she wants when she wants it, but things are definitely better. I feel for you and wish you luck with your relationship 
Gonna get hate but oh well. My girl is in her terrible 2s stage and I take the gentle parenting approach to temper tantrum’s. When she’s having what I call big feelings, I let her have them. If she wants a hug, I give her a hug. When her big feelings are out, we talk about it (though she doesn’t understand yet just getting her in the routine) and talk about how we can better release our big feelings. While she’s crying and screaming I calmly repeat “we’re having big feelings right now and that’s okay go ahead and let all those big feelings out” kids at this age do not know how to release big feelings. It’s our job to teach them how.
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Your a strong woman for holding it together. You have not done anything wrong. I struggled for years with 3 of my kids. It wasn’t until I found out they were deficient in vitamins. A,B+,C,D and iron, that their attitudes changed.
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My son is the exact same way, and it’s so frustrating. Most importantly you have ti try to remain calm and not freak out too, keep your voice level, when he’s not listening I give him a choice on what’s going to happen that way he feels like he’s making the choice himself and it gives him a bit of control over the situation. For example let’s say I need him to get his shoes on cause we have to leave to catch the bus and he doesn’t want too because he’s playing on his tablet, I will ask him to please get his shoes on he flat out say no. So I’ll tell him ok Shylo if you don’t want to get your shoes on then when you get home from school today you won’t be able to have your tablet, so this is completely your choice if you want to play your tablet after school then you have ti get your shoes on, if you don’t get your shoes on and we miss the bus then when we get home today you won’t have your tablet, then for example he’ll say yes I will. I will repeat myself again and this time I’ll add in and if we miss the bus then you won’t have anytime before the bell to play with your friends either. I always stay calm and repeat the consequences so he understands that if he misses the bus then he won’t get his tablet after school, and you have to stick to that. Because if you don’t and they get the tablet anyways the consequences mean nothing. Amy Mcready has some online parenting stuff and I’ve been following some of her parenting skills especially the choice of consequence. Most of all keep calm if you can I know how hard it is your frustration and you just want to yell, keeping calm keeps you in control of the situation. Hope this helps
I told her No she couldn’t open her brothers birthday present thinking she could understand why it’s not Hers it’s his. and we just had her birthday, and it turned into world war 3 She always tells me No she tried to pack a suitcase and leave the other day after fighting with me for two hours fitting screaming I hate you and refusing to just sit in time out and calm down then she will continue to push my buttons she’ll come get in my face after I am calming down in my room and say why do you hate me ? Or ask me “whyyyyy just give me a good reason and I’ll stop screaming !! can’t we just( do whatever she wants at the time ) and that will start it all over again so just saying you’re not the only one I cry daily because I don’t know what to do either the struggle is real
Cut out all that harsh punishment you are handing out. And it looks like there is a far bigger problem here that you are not looking for. And tell me this would you hit an adult so why hit a child ln our country parents are not allowed to hit there children or they will go to prison and about time to you need to start loving that child and stop handing out punishments.
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Monkey see monkey do honey. Of course she’s going to fight back if someone is hitting her. Of coarse she’s going to scream if someone is yelling at her.
Try a different approach. Maybe when she does something wrong, talk to her calmly and tell her WHY it’s not acceptable behavior. Kids learn from their parents. Remember she’s always watching you and that’s how they learn.
Or she demands me to say sorry
My son has been in and out of this behavior for the past year; talking to many other parents and some specialists say it’s a phase that can last for a few years - joy. Honestly I tell my son that he’s entitled to his feelings but acting out is not how to get your way, he loses privileges when he does lie, act out. Talking to him and pointing out his behavior and ignoring the outbursts after I offer suggestions work they best. I do my 2.5 and 4yr olds the same way
There are so many variables. The fact that dad is away a lot could be the main one. How is her behavior when he’s home?
Can you pin point when this started or has it been gradually developing?
Does it seem worse during the school week or on weekends or both?
Lots of good suggestions here. I know what I would have done when mine were 7 acting this way, but I’m also a great grandmother and realize the old ways of discipline are frowned upon now (I’m not talking about abuse, in talking discipline). And even then each of my children were different. Some responded to verbal discipline, others needed a little more.
But also our children now are exposed to do much more that should never be on a child’s radar. I’ve noticed that I can’t let my 4yo grandson watch certain KIDS shows. And since cutting them out and being consistent with it, his behavior has improved.
My oldest was mouthy and wonders why she raised mouthy kids, my 2nd was passive, my 3rd seemed to be passive but then she did the very things I said don’t do, the 4th was a lot like the 3rd but didn’t act out until she was graduated and in college.
I pray you find a direction to go with her.
It could be a wide variety of things, her age and thinking she is independent, could be hormones, could be something happening at school, it will take awhile to figure it out. You might want to check into counseling for her, preferably a therapist that uses play therapy to see if there’s more to what is happening other than these periods of rage she has or to see a behavioral pediatricuan. Hang in there momma.
Has she been diagnosed with anything ? Maybe ADHD?
Look up Self Reg Parenting
Everyone saying therapy, that might work for some kids but not every kid needs therapy, that could instil the thoughts there is something wrong with her, when in reality she just has big feelings and doesn’t know how to express them in a positive way. Kids at this age are really independent or are trying to be and giving them a choice in what’s going to happen helps them feel like they have made the choice themselves.
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I thought my son was a holy terror when he would start to rage…baaaad temper, found out later when he was a teenager he is bi-polar with depression. I would seek professional help, especially when there is no apparent reason for that kind of over the top reaction to the things you want her to do. See a child psychologist. <3 At least rule out any mental/hormonal issues and save yourself a lot of time and heartache in beating yourself up mentally. If she is not diagnosed with anything, then you have other issues you need to look into, such as why, and how can you reset her boundaries and the way she reacts to authority. Good luck <3 This is the advice I wish I had gotten when I was struggling with my son.
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ignore bad behaviour,(or as much as possible) and reward good behaviour.
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Completely until she is sorry
There is a book series called “how to train your dragon” that has all kinds of self help ideas for kids. You can think hard on what areas are the biggest problem, read the books to her when you are relaxed and she is also relaxed, then talk about her behavior when you aren’t upset. It help me so much to think of it as “what areas is my son struggling with” instead of “why is he so bad all the time”
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Does she have any outside interest? Dance or soccer? Maybe karate something where she can get her physical energy out. If not it will be more difficult as she gets older.
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Watch what she eats. Keep a journal. Limit t.v on all. Keep excitement down
Have you thought about taking her to a children’s psychologist/psychiatrist?
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How often do you do things together? How much quality time do you have with her? Maybe things are so centered around the bad behavior and the consequences that it’s all you’re both doing any more. Go do something fun together, then do it again. Just be loving and kind. Often I would make a negative situation into a positive myself by switching gears, making light of the situation, and deflating the negative energy. I always told them no matter how much they yelled and screamed instill loved them. I never punished. Not saying it works for all but loving them harder when they were unlovable worked great for me.
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Crazy. I’ll keep my opinions to myself.
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Spankings don’t work for every kid. When they don’t work, your find something else.
I’d get her into therapy, immediately. Something is going on. Is this new or has she always been this way?
Personally, you should start reading studies on diet effecting moods. They have 2 I’ve read & they showed incredible insight and data.
Does she eat alot of sugar or processed food? Start with her pediatrician. Her body might be off. The foods we eat have alot of extra hormones our little ones don’t need. It can make them have behavioral issues and start their menstrual cycles early. I also have noticed that girls with ADHD or odd exhibit behaviors like this early. Maybe have some blood work done. But I would definitely start with my doctor.
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Thing is you don’t have her full attention yet. My mama got my attention once when I landed on the other side of the room.
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My 6 year old was very much the same way and still has “episodes” as I call it. He was diagnosed with severe ADHD and noise sensory issues alittle over a year ago and goes to a therapist to help with the emotional side and is on medication. It has helped a tremendous amount. When he starts getting very frustrated or inconsolable etc, I have him do breathing exercises with me or I give him bear hugs and rock him. That also has helped.
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I would get her evaluation done on behavior" it could be many things going on in her 
brain
Be nice and nothing but nice be on her side not working against her.
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It could be many reasons of her doing this.#1 she is a 7 year old.Two she goes to school then she is learning these things.3.she is at that stage in life where she is still learning and you just have to put your foot down and not take no for an answer.I have a 4 and a 7 year old.My 7 year old has not been listening here lately either.She eventually does what I tell her to do.She has never did any of this like said these things but I’m not saying she won’t one day.Each child is different and they will react to things in there own way just as we adults do.We have to remember that.And remember they r still learning but you are the adult and she is the child
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Listen, there’s so much controversy on what I’m about to say. But kids behave on unspoken feelings. I’m not saying there aren’t any kids that are rude by nature or personality- but try sitting down and talking to her. Get on her level and speak to her like an adult (if she’s mentally capable of listening and understanding) I think as a parent sometimes we want and demand something just bc we’re the parents. But it’s not easy being a kid either. You’ll be surprised how often kids soften up when spoken to like a regular person and not a kid. And she’s at that age where now kids are slowly transitioning into a preteen. It’s not 10,11 or 12 year olds anymore. It’s 7,8 &9 year olds. You’re a great mom and I know things will soon change for you. We as adults get so caught up with life, work, and other things we forget to make time to calm down and take a deep breath. Spanking will not resolve anything or build any respect towards you. If anything she will resent you for it. Be here friend mama, and be patient. If you need to over explain certain scenarios or examples of what her consequences will be- than do so. You will
Never get backlash for over explaining things to
Kids.
So u’re feeling guilty about the way she’s misbehaving???
Also I read “parenting the strong willed child” and it helped a lot.
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I would seek professional help, before it gets worse
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How about instead of disciplining you get to the root reason she’s doing it? Maybe she doesn’t know how to express her anger about something. But obviously it has to do with you and you’re making it worse.
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You need to get her some professional help, before she gets older and harder to deal with. You too need to attend or get some help not just for yourself but in order to help your child as well.
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I would start with her doctor! She may need medication!
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Stick her in the corner every time she acts up… it works well
Take her to therapy. It really helped us.
It’s often mind games with kids they find your weakness and play on it .You don’t have to smack them although it didn’t do me any harm it sometimes doesn’t bother them and the look for other things to wind you up.Just reverse psychology if she ever asks you for something don’t get her it or wants to go somewhere then just say no because of your behaviour I’m not doing anything for you and you will see a change.
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Sounds like dad may need to take a break from the road, for his daughters and wife’s sake.
She may be acting out because he is always gone.
Does she ever open up to anyone? If so maybe have them talk to her, ask her what’s wrong. I believe most kids act out for a reason, not just because they can. Now there r some that do, but a big percentage has a reason for their actions.
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I never understand why just because a kid acts out moms automatically assume its mental health issues lol,
Adults can barely regulate their own emotions how is it fair to place the same standards for a 7 year old???
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Sounds like maybe she’s emotionally confused and her emotions aren’t what she’s actually feeling, sounds like she is struggling too? Maybe try talking to her see what she’s really feeling or contact a child therapist!
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Something inside her is making her act out. Did a routine change? Does she seem shy? My older kids were so stressed with my 6 year-old (now 7 years old) acting like out that we got a referral for play therapy and to see a psychiatrist. She was also not doing well in school academically but was an angel for teachers (complete opposite at school). Our middle child has an intellectual disability so I thought maybe she could too but it actually came back as high social anxiety. I never wanted to medicate her but therapy wasn’t working for her so we started on a very low dose of an antidepressants and my goodness it was like an instant change in her behavior. (Usually takes about a month to see results but for her it was less than a week). I’m not recommending anything to you, just sharing our story on what works. I also bought a bunch of books about feelings and behaviors. Some books I bought were The Boy with Big Big Feelings, I Feel…ANXIOUS, Manners Matter (it’s an Arthur book), Zach Gets Frustrated, I Feel…, Right Now I Am Fine, and Belly Breathing. They helped just a little until we were able to see the dr to start meds.
I think 90% of people in here need the so called therapy lol. We all have this silly expectation of how a child should behave a certain way and if they don’t then something is wrong… it’s likely the child is BEING A CHILD… it happens. And yes alot of mums need help dealing with it… and alot of kids grow out of it around 10 aswell… not everything needs or leads to a diagnosis, my kids from around 5 to 10ish all did this… everyone was " oh medicate, therapy, doctors, diagnosis…" … well, they grew out of it, now teens. Sometimes we need to take a step back and remember what kids are like and not everything has an underlying medical/mental health diagnosis behind it… we live in an age where that is our go to thoughts…
Who knows though the issue COULD be a diagnosis was needed but honestly misdiagnosis is a thing and the child is more than likely being a child. Let her be a child please for a little longer before you scare her with all the doctor stuff. There could be many reasons why she is doing this, but try not to jump on the doctors and fancy stuff before letting your child be a child
Anyway the point to the original post is she needs some help… maybe some PARENTING TIPS before/instead of a diagnosis would be a great healthy start 
come on mama’s lets help this mummy out!
Super proud of the original poster for reaching out though its tough, I know. I wish you ALL the best
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Stop spanking her. Get her into therapy.
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You need professional help with her. This is not normal behavior.
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Evaluation, counseling, a psychologist. Mama I am in the same boat with my 10 year old boy. It’s been a fight for years now. 
Feel free to reach out to me if you ever want to talk or vent. Sometimes it helps having someone in your corner going through the same situation.
Our oldest did that. It took me telling her to pack a bag and go. She thought I was playing and packed a bag. She got to the end of the drive and turned around crying and apologizing. She’s done it a few times since but I keep reminding her and she acts a lot better now. Come to find out she was doing it because she was getting bullied at school and didn’t want to tell me.
Good luck and I hope she realizes it’s easier to talk to you
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Research Oppositional Defiance Disorder. There are suggestions on how to approach your daughter. My daughter was the exact same. The more attention she gets (regardless if it’s negative) the worse its going to be for you. The best thing is to speak to her and then let it go. I told our Dr I couldn’t put her in time out bc she fought back, she said then let it go. I couldn’t believe it bc I thought she was winning. But it works. You’ve got to treat her differently than you would any other. I promise it gets better.
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She needs to stop eating or drinking anything with red dye in it. There’s something in that that sometimes causes children to have meltdowns. CUT OUT RED DYE!
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I honestly think the age from 7-10 is an emotional age, they are trying to figure out how to navigate their emotions if offer other outlets for emotions ways for her to relax or take it out(each person is different on how they like to release) try both maybe see if she wants to start meditating or yoga and maybe go to a kick boxing class or something and then after ask her which helped her feel a release from her emotions, if both were good then even better!
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Use a belt on her ass.
Therapy. It sounds like she’s struggling with her emotions and the therapist can help her work on it. It’s hard for everyone. The therapist can work with you to find the best path forward. She could be lashing out bc your burn out, dads gone and then he comes back and it’s an interruption to her normal, etc.
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I’ll never forget when I was about 8 I got in trouble for something(I was always a pretty good kid, but I was still a kid that got in trouble at times for things) I can’t remember what it was now, but talking back/disrespecting my parents was about as far as my “bad” behavior went so anything more than that was rare and handled accordingly… whatever it was I done, I never did again I know that… my dad got a flat plate, poured dry rice in it, made me kneel in it holding onto my feet behind my back with one hand and supporting/holding myself up and steady with the other hand holding on to the island bar in the kitchen. I will NEVER forget that as long as I live! Hurt didn’t even describe it… PAINFUL is more like it. However, with your child’s behavior it seems like she would refuse to do that if she’s putting up a fight like she is with other ways you’ve disciplined her. You likely need to seek medical/professional help for this situation. She is far too young to already be acting out like this to begin with… I can’t imagine what it’ll be like as she gets older… and her teenage years 
If she “hates you” so much and “wishes you weren’t her mom” show her what not being her mom is like and let her see just how much she hates you… send her butt off to a girls home/school and let her see what that life is all about and I bet she would come back a whole new kid… give her a rude awakening and a dose of reality… let her see how a lot of kids in this world have it. I can’t even imagine how you do this… if any of my kids ever acted out like this they just better pray the Good Lord intervenes and intervenes quick like.
See a professional child psychologist. They should be able to help.
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Ask her why is she angry. Talk. To her mostly listen to her
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Ask her if anyone has hurt her
You can’t take things away and give them back right away. You could try running our house like a boot camp. She gets nothing until homework and chores are done. No toys electronics etc. And if she acts like a brat she doesn’t get them at all. For real. Negative reinforcement works best with positive reinforcement. Reward her for the good behavior, discipline for the bad.
I would try ignoring her. Don’t reward her bad behaviour with attention. Then when she wants something, don’t respond. When she gets to the point of asking why you aren’t listening to her, say “if you want me to listen to you, and do things for you, then you have to listen to me and do things for me too.” She’s old enough to understand that. If she tantrums, don’t let her see that it’s bothering you. Just act like it’s not happening, or walk away. It might take a while but if you change your behaviour, she will eventually change hers. Reward her when she does.
There are a lot of things that could be making her be this way. I totally agree with several of these comments but it’s obvious that she’s not going to treat you with respect. I can’t imagine doing that to my parents but some do. I pray it gets better which ever way you try. She will regret it one day but you don’t deserve this disrespect.
How does she act when her dad is home?
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She needs help, but in the meantime, her door comes off her bedroom, and NOTHING else but homework and reading assigned books from school. No electronic Devices, until she earns them back! Seven? Wow!
Thankfully all of it is normal behavior. The worst part of these posts is that nobody should be commenting because we cannot see how you actually parent her, you could be doing something wrong and not telling us like invalidating her feelings and not listening to her. she could’ve experienced something traumatic and isn’t telling you. Communicating is key in any case and yes spankings with that behavior will make everything worse, also kids have a very hard time putting things into words because they’re still figuring out the world. Ask her what’s wrong and use baby terms, like “do you feel icky on the inside” “do you have worries in your belly” etc and ask y and don’t get offended if it’s you.
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I loaded my daughter up told her she was going to Juvy I made a “call” in front of her to the warden letting them know I had had enough. On the way I showed her places like the shower where she can expect other girls to get her at. Weapons to watch for. When it’s ok to sleep and when not to sleep. I showed her many pictures of girls that had been hurt in juvy. Pics of conditions and rooms there. I was VERY convincing! My husband drove about an hour an a half before she broke down apologizing for her behavior and begged to stay home. If you are an actress like Amber Heard I do not recommend this has to be convincing! You have to be TRULY fed up!
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Good spanking would help even though I never used it on any of my children
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I would be asking where the hell is she learning that from…
because No…
why does she think she can talk to you like that ??? 
Her reaction to discipline is to fight back???
I’m sorry but your daughter sounds like she’s a spoiled brat and throwing temper tantrum‘s that you allow. Because Dad is on the road.
Is dad normally the disciplinarian??? That might be the issue…
Try chore/ attitude chart…
it will help show her what responsibility she has for each and every day, it will show her how many times she has followed the rules.
Does she act like this at school???  is she disrespectful to her teachers?
Of course she fights back. It’s natural fight or flight response. When someone is hurting you, you either try to get away or try to fight back. Even at age 7 her body instinctively knows what to do. It doesn’t matter if you see it as discipline. She’s 7 and it hurts.
Anyway, she sounds like she’s angry/upset about something deeper than just the things you’re telling her to do. Maybe she misses her dad, or maybe it’s something else, Idk. But if I were you, I would try to get down to the root cause of the feelings behind these incidents.
Kids this young often have big emotional outbursts because they don’t even have names for all the emotions they are feeling yet/can’t always recognize what they are feeling, and haven’t developed enough yet to know how to process these very complicated emotions that they often can’t even identify, and struggle with how to communicate these feelings to those around them too. It makes them even more confused, frustrated, and upset on top of what they were already feeling. They need us to help them figure out what is going on inside them and teach them how to manage it in better ways. If we just punish them for behaving badly, instead of helping them, we are letting them down.
We can’t expect them to handle their emotions better if we haven’t worked with them and taught them healthier ways to communicate and cope with them, ya know?
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From my own personal experience…that I have done with my child was I took trash bags and put all her stuff in them (the stuff that would fit in them) and leave nothing in her room expect her bed. No clothes, toys, no electronics. And didn’t give them back til she showed she wasn’t going to do that stuff again she had to earn them back…1 thing at a time. Definitely don’t take them away and give them right back after a day. And if she acts up badly you take the things you have given back back again. That way she knows you are serious about she can not act like that. Also talk to her about what you will do if she keeps acting out. Just stick to your guns about it and don’t give it. It will be tough for sure. I agree with the no medicine this young. Good luck momma!
Have you tried not disciplining her for once? Maybe she’s going through something and needs a little love
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First I would consult a therapist and her pediatrician. There could be some underlying health concern causing this. Like ADHD or something.
But otherwise be consistent. Make expectations and rules very clear. Make consequences to breaking those rules know and clear. Don’t let her get away with any of it, I know it’s hard and your a mom so you don’t want to see your child upset but you can’t give in.
You can also try limiting sugar intake, cutting out red dye 40 and msg (some people have an extreme sensitivity to these things that can result in being hyper or anxious and cause bad behavior- but because of these possibilities thats why I said speak to a pediatrician and a counselor with experience with children).
Kids that age are really trying to figure out who they are and how to handle things like emotions, social interactions, etc. It could be something as simple as she is struggling at school or misses her dad. But obviously you can’t let her be rude or disrespectful and just let her run wild.
I would also suggest when she is bad taking electronics. No TV, phones, computers, tablets, etc. If she needs electronics for school work then let her use it only for school work while monitored. If she gets bored tell her to read a book or do crafts. Also bringing her for walks outside or to a playground could help her get that pent up energy out.
When my daughter was younger and I would discipline her she would say she hated me, I would tell her I love her and I would remind her that she wasn’t in trouble because I was trying to be mean she was in trouble because she didn’t follow the rules and what she said upsets me. I found being honest about the why’s and reasons for things helped and honest about how she made me feel made her understand why what she was doing was wrong. And ask her why she is acting like that. It may take time because initially they’ll say because of this and it’s something general like “because I wanted nuggets for dinner not such and such” but when you dig deeper it could be something like she wants to help choose dinner or have say in something. And if all else fails, take all toys and electronics from the bedroom. Leave her with her clothes, bed and bedding, and books. And tell her that this stuff is being taken away because you did such and such. If you can follow the rules or communicate better or whatever you can have it all back on this date at this time. You start off with a day or two at first then the more she misbehaves add a day to it.
But professional help is where to start for sure
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My daughter was exactly like this. Shes 11 now. The only thing i hear now is i hate you, but that seems to be normal. I now have her in therapy too. I wish i would of taken her sooner, sometimes kids are better at telling someone else what is wrong than their parents.
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Put her up for adoption.
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She’s being a brat, it happens. Try the talk and her her learn some self soothing ways to deal instead of outbursts. Being mom is hard. Don’t think she needs a Dr. Some kids are just strong willed and hard headed. But as mom you have to set boundaries as to what you will accept from her. You are the adult. Dad being away isn’t easy but that’s how he makes a living. Maybe a special call just to her every night from dad will help her.
I literally lived that life. Until December she turned 14 she wanted to live elsewhere so Dfac took her and haven’t been able to talk with her since. Get good counseling and house rules before you lose each other.
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Girl I feel you!
My middle child (I have 4) told me she doesn’t feel loved, started acting out, cutting her clothes shorter. It started around 7. The attitude & clothes is the girls she’s hanging out with at school. Not feeling loved was partly because I won’t let her die her hair & get fake nails like her friends. The other part she need more of my attention & one on one attention. Now I read 3 chapters a night (1 for each of my younger kids, 3 different books) before bed. We do dates (1 child only goes with me at a time) sometimes shopping, nails, sometimes just to run around. It does help us. GOOD LU K MOMMA!
First- good for you on reaching out for help. Parenting is draining and every child is different. From my experience…this looks like a huge power struggle. Take a step back and reassess the situation. It seems she is looking for some kind of control and validation. A few things to try–
- Give two choices for whatever you need her to do. Ex: get ready for bed. “Do you want to get into your pj’s before dinner or after dinner?” Regardless, she still needs to get her pj’s on, but now she has a choice. And she feels capable and in control.
- ONE on ONE time- even just 10 minutes each day set aside where your main focus is on her and she gets to choose what you guys are going to do for that time. It fills her attention bucket, her self worth and makes her feel significant.
- Behavior chart- write down what behaviors are expected and at end of the day, go over it. Out a happy face/sad face next to each. Ex: 10 behaviors listed, 8 out of 10 are smiley faces, she gets a small reward out of a treasure box.
- CONSEQUENCES: make a SHORT (ex:5) list of house rules with consequences on the side. Go over them with her. But give a few consequences leading up to the ultimate. Now she is aware of what to expect with her behavior. Ex- “no hitting” 1st offence= verbal warning, 2nd= time out, 3rd= electronics gone, 4= grounded (no friends time/no TV, etc)
You can tweak these to work with your home - WINE!! lots and lots of wine!
Breathe momma…you got this!
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You may want to have her assessed for behavior issues or ADHD.
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I think instead of all of the negative attention you should give her more loving attention. Gentle parenting definitely works best with kids. She’ll be more willing to do what you say if you’re not the enemy.
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How about bust that butt
Only advice I have is don’t let her associate her room as a form of punishment.
Have you had her evaluated? Or maybe therapy?
Talk to her .find a child advocate to help her. She maybe be going thru changes she doesn’t understand. Her body and emotional, mentally n physically may be going thru some changes or she may need help with something and don’t know how to express it
No wonder kids now days are screwed up
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Don’t give an inch because they take a mile. If she acts up, put her on time out. Don’t say anything, Don’t react in any way. She gets up, put her back. Don’t give in to her, and do not react because that’s what she’s looking for, your reaction. Don’t say a word to her, just put her back, and walk away, but you need to keep doing it. Any kind of attention is better than none at all, even if it’s negative. Keep doing this, even if she bites or scratches you. Take away things if she doesn’t behave, toys, stuff like that, devices as well. No TV time, no toys, only books if necessary. Sounds like she could be doing it out of boredom or to get your attention.
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Sometime what our kids need is just a father to spoil them.
Most times they are been abused by relatives, teachers or just someone and the anger will always be to the mother because it’s believed that mother’s are caregivers.
If her father is within and she still react negativly to u then,
Show love instead of discipline, create time for her, make her your friend, buy her gift, make her feel special, take her to good places for fun and play with her, take photos of both of u and print copies for her, tell her how beautiful she is, tell her good things that happened to you when she was in your womb, tell her good stories, teach her to show kindness and be merciful to people, teach her to help, take her to orphanage home with gifts, talk to her with respect like a little mature girl, don’t ever use negative words on her tell her u are ready to teach her anything she wants to learn, call her princess kids love new clothes and toys, ask her if she needs a change of school and who she hates most, what she dislike about your house,
After all that,
U must have learned something strange, handle issues with wisdom.
u must have won her love and she will start obeying u then, make a lovely rules and routine she must follow, pray with her, eat together with her, discuss with her and
U will definitely see the best of her.
U can’t afford to lose her love at these age
It’s called getting “negative attention.” Kids will try to get attention any way they can. Try just ignoring the negative behavior and give her a lot of praise when you catch her doing something right … She will eventually get it that you can catch more bees with honey. I have six daughters including one with Down Syndrome and believe me it works! Just be patient at first. There is a book that professionals recommend called 1-2-3 Magic for parental guidance for just this sort of thing … it was originally written with dog training in mind but works with humans too! 
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If your 7 year old is THAT bad, I say counseling might be the way to go. No one, not even a child, is that angry for no reason. You can try sitting her down and talking to her, let her know how much you love her and want to help her by finding out why she is so upset! But she might not want to talk to you. Please… get her help before she gets much older or it gets worse! She’s at such a tender age!! Life should be fun for her! Sounds like she is miserable!!!
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