I think we forget that kids are people too and they have thoughts and emotions and things going on in their lives that they just don’t know what to do with. It’s actually pretty normal at this age honestly. What I have been doing with my son is as soon as he says something mean I ask how he would feel if a friend at school said it to him. He will tell me how it would make him feel and he ends up apologizing on his own. I will ask why he feels a certain way and have him put it into words instead of acting out. I let him know that feeling emotions is ok, acting out on those is not always a good idea. Sometimes you need to talk to someone. Sometimes he isn’t ready to talk right then and I tell him that’s fine, but he needs to go find a calm activity to do for a bit. This usually gives him a chance to think through and try to process and he will come back to me to talk to me. If it is something like not getting a toy then we have a big conversation about how some things are not worth getting that upset over. At this age, everything seems to be at the same level for them. Not getting a toy they want and having someone pick on them seems to them to be on the same level for them. We work through and talk through everything. He also goes to speak with his school counselor every so often as well and she and I speak regularly so we can both help him. For us the big thing that really hit us was he was watching his dad abuse me and was getting lashed out at from dad. Then the police removed dad from our home and we are separated. It was a lot and a lot of work for all of us and even his teacher and I have been in communication a lot. It took time and we still hit bumps in the road, but it does get better. I also had to learn to pick my battles. Like hair cuts and clothes because right now he is figuring out who he is, what he likes and who he wants to be. He will even say, no…that is not the type of person I am. I am like this, so can we do this this way instead. If it’s within reason…ok buddy…let’s see how we can make this work. Doing this we have been able to find better ways for him to understand and learn certain subjects he was previously struggling with at school too. It helps in all areas.
Oh I am feeling your pains. Mine is 6 and is a smaller smarter and evil version of me ( well the me that was living to die has been replaced with mommy of one miracle child. Got pregnant at 39 when I was never to carry a wee one. ) she is one special child emotionally and spiritually everyone around me does the opposite of what I wanted or praises her when I punish for bad cruel behavior. She will terrorize me until my frustration turns me into basket case. I a.m very minimally located for a slew of serious mental health issues that I work very hard at so I’m second guessing myself and freaking that I’m not meant to be A MOM. She manipulating better than my pre child life
I’m also physically unable to be my best for numerous and debilitating severe chronic pain issues. By Nov I will have total hip 2 knees and spine from mid Thoracic to sacral.
I’m near constant pain that if it’s at 6 I’m thrilled I’ve been free from narcotics for 5 years but there are days I cam barely stand walking on those days is purely torture related from karma getting me back. I’m literally at my wits end.
My bro has come to help me he has been coming once month to help me with household tasks that overwhelming consume and then it’s too much to catch up it’s a very fuked place to be mentally a d physically bur I force myself to get up daily and try harder
Spare the rod, spoil the child.
Praying for God’s wisdom and strength for you momma. 
You probably did nothing wrong. You can just let her go and say Nothing, I mean, Nothing. Don’t talk to her , don’t answer,when she calls to you. Go on as if she’s not there. Feed her and all the important things, but nothing special. Just tell her, until she starts acting like she should you aren’t going to treat her like she wants. Tell her if she hates you then you’re doing your job, and slip a little I love you in there. Sounds like she is picking up stuff from other kids.Good luck & Bless You all. Oh, have Daddy spend a little extra time with him, one on one, but don’t over do it or she will think Daddy’s on her side.
My 7 year old son has gone through the same thing since he was 1. Last year we finally had him evaluated because that kind of behavior is just not normal, and so exhausting. He has was diagnosed with adhd, a mood disorder and possible ODD. I still get overwhelmed all the time but things are getting better. What works for us is giving him a safe space to have his meltdowns where he is not disrupting the entire household. If he’s uncontrollable, he gets carried or sent to his room and then once we are both more calm we talk out what the problem was. Most of the time he is unable to fully communicate the problem or reason for the meltdown during it. He doesnt hit, bite or scratch anymore but he does still say a lot of hurtful things, throw things, and break stuff which we are working on. But explaining why we can’t hurt people when they are calmed down seems to help more then trying to explain while it’s happening. For people saying spanking, that isn’t always the answer. I tried that for quite a while because I was out of options and thought he was just unruly and needed discipline but when spanking doesn’t work, then what? I suggest getting your child evaluated so you can get to the root of the problem and find useful solutions instead of just spanking. And to clarify, I am not against spanking or discipline, both my kids get both when the situation calls for it, I’m just saying that isn’t always the answer, especially to a chronically “bad” child. There is likely an underlying problem that needs addressed.
Sounds like she’s going through something kids have a hard time expressing what’s really wrong. Maybe therapy? I know it can sound extreme but any help you can get is a good idea. Good luck I hope you guys can figure it out together hang in there!
These questions are often difficult to try to respond to in a truly helpful manner. I appreciate that you are giving the information necessary while being concise enough (something I suck at) but, at least for me, understanding what your daughter isn’t listening to is as important as the corrective actions that haven’t worked. As a mother of 5, I feel your pain and wish I had the courage to ask for help like this without fearing the judgment that inevitably follows.
To start with, your daughter is 7. I do not have any formal education on child development but based on my experience, kids are really starting to “discover” their independence from around 3-ish. At 7, she’s probably just growing some more of her independence by pushing back on you- her mom. At this age, kids know (probably not consciously) that mom is “safe” to push back on and say those hurtful things because mom will love her anyway. It is SO HARD to hear your kid tell you that they hate you. Your head knows she doesn’t mean it, but your heart reacts on it’s own. You have to do your best to not let your heart’s reaction be the one that your daughter sees because it makes the hurtful comments successful for her. Most of my “advice” comes more from child #5 than child #1 because experience was my best teacher. As far as the hurtful comments, I found that not acknowledging them AT ALL (at least in the moment)was the most effective way to make them stop. Forewarned- doing so tends to cause them to get worse before they get better because my daughter tried to find something that I would react to before moving on but I found that by doing that, I was able to keep the “issue” to what started the conflict. No reaction from mom- no reason to continue. I did have a conversation AFTER the issue was resolved that while we may not mean what we say in anger, the words cannot be “unheard”.
As far as not listening, that really depends on what she’s not listening to. If she’s not listening to something that could potentially be harmful it’s obviously more important to get through to her more quickly. For example, if you tell her that she can’t leave the yard while playing outside and she leaves the yard I would make the “consequence fit the crime”. No anger (that’s not always easy but gets easier with practice) but once caught, sit said child down and calmly “discuss” (one-sided “discussion”). “You know [child] there’s a reason why the rule about not leaving the yard exists. [dangers]. Since you weren’t able to follow the rules, I am afraid that you won’t be playing in the yard until you can earn my trust back”. Tip- whatever the consequence, don’t allow her to make this a debate because she will try. Don’t respond when she does.
When she’s not listening to something that is not an inherent risk to health and safety, same theory. Try to give a consequence as opposed to a punishment. Example- you tell her to clean her room. She refuses. Give a set amount of time to complete the task and have no further discussion. She doesn’t clean it up. Without saying a word (and with no anger or emotion) go and “clean up” whatever is not put away. But instead of putting it away, put it in a box (or whatever) and take it with you. After you take it, explain to her that as a consequence of her inaction, she no longer has her [puzzles, video games, legos, etc]. When I would do this, it didn’t have an immediate effect because my daughter was hard headed and took the stand that she had other toys that I didn’t take away (because they had been put away). That’s fine because eventually she’s either going to continue to not clean up and lose those things OR she would actually clean up and I was able to reward the fact that she learned how to follow the rules by giving back things I had taken away. Be warned- the cycle will likely repeat but just be consistent.
I learned that natural consequence were more effective in the long term than punishment. I also learned that honest conversation devoid of anger helped in the long term too. That included acknowledgment of my own mistakes (as appropriate where my kids were concerned) helped my kids to be able to acknowledge theirs.
Long and wordy response- I know- but I do sincerely wish that I had the courage to ask when my kids were that age. Taking this approach really made our home more peaceful and happy. The kids responded in kind and we all benefited from less anger and more conversation as they grew older and the issues became more complex and potentially risky!
Maybe time to see if she will sit down and talk. Ask her why she acts and feels the way she does.
Sounds like Oppositional Defiant Disorder
I have been there with mine dad is on OTR driver and she could be acting out because he’s gone more than he’s home…ever since he’s been home with the truck down she has been better it could just be the lack of him not home
Has she had childhood vaccinations?
I ask because research has shown heavy metals in vaccinations and foods are causing outbursts in these poor children. They cause swelling in the brain and the thus causing pain and anger. Please message us. We would love to pray for you and give you natural health research God has shown us.
Alyssa this sounds familiar! Your not the only one!
Honestly…she sounds like every freakin’ kid out there (mine included). My son has done this to me a few times. “I hate you” “I don’t love you” “I wish grandma was my mom”. They are ruthless and know exactly what to say to get on your last nerve. My best and only advice for you…when she starts acting a fool take her away from the situation put her on the couch sit there with her and let her scream it out. Tell her she’ll sit there with you until her tantrum is over. Be consistent. If your at the mall be prepared to drag her ass out to the car. She has a right to feel the feels she has but she has to be shown how to deal with them. When she’s saying all the hurtful things just remember we choose to bring to bring that “hell spawn” into the world and it’s our job to teach them how to be better people. We all go through it anyone that says different is a liar.
Taking things away from children teaches them they have to appease you in order to keep things youve given them. Unconditional love doesnt have conditions. Therapy, more time together, etc. Might just help …
Try talking to her. Ask her if something is wrong. Be open with her.
A Christian counselor could be helpful!
Sometimes the anger is covering sadness or fear. The measures you are using are probably not working for you or her. Try what the poster said about ignoring the behaviour while also loving on her when she’s doing well. Maybe she’s missing Dad too. Those years 6-10 often daughters really relate to their Dads. Keep trying Mama and if you can have some time out for yourself to recharge.
Gentle parenting. She may be trying to regulate her feelings and emotions. When she goes to hit, say, “lets not hit mama. Lets hit the bed and then lets do 5 jumping jacks” if she isnt listening say, “mama wants you to talk to you. Lets use our ears to listen and see what exciting words mama says”
When you want her to do something, offer some help, “okay. Lets pick up all your toys. Do you want me to help, or do you want mama to watch to see how much of a big kid you are?”
Its not attention seeking. Its either connection seeking or guidence seeking.
Stop taking everything away, stop spanking, stop getting angry. Your lo is also human and sometimes they may make mistakes, and thats when you need to reinforce their behavior by letting them know you are there to help them.
If gentle parenting doesnt work, try to just sit her down and talk to her and listen to what she says. Or counseling can help.
Be consistent in punishment and be patient, she is close to 8/9 when they start learning to have better self control. You can also consider therapy, especially if she has just begun doing these things.
My two stepsons were that way. Counseling and strick boundaries helped. Both were diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. Its hard but treatable with behavior modification and possibly medication
It may be time for outside help. Ask her doctor for a referrlal.
You not the only one dear i have a 4yr old like that. Not biting n stuff but stubborn and cry for anything
That girl is itching for attention and love in a different way. She seems hurt about something. Definitely give her some extra love.
How is she at school?
Talk to the teachers.
She may have ADHD, ODD, or ASD. If she hasn’t been diagnosed already. This sounds a lot like my son.
Gentle parenting works best for me. Google search it. Also, medication may be recommended and while we get nervous about that, a GOOD doctor can help you navigate this.
Hang in there mama.
First place to start is talking to a pediatrician, from there they can refer you to experts. And from there the journey begins. She seems so young to be out of control already, so that makes me wonder where she’s learning this behavior, or what is causing this behavior. All too often now a days kids are spoiled brats with no discipline what so ever. In your case that doesn’t sound like the problem (getting that from what I read). So my dear you need ya some experts, and I’m afraid to say mom guilt never goes away. Ugh right!!! So hang in there. This is the hardest job.
Get her evaluated. Counciling.she needs help
since she really isn’t talking to you, Maybe get her to a child therapist & go on from there
My 4 year old is going into therapy to get evaluated for ODD because she literally doesn’t care if she has toys or her tablet taken away and she also doesn’t listen
Are you spending quality time with her? Playing games? Taking her to the park? Colouring together? Sometimes they act out when they want more attention. As moms sometimes we spend too much time cleaning and disciplining and not enough time with our kids. Looking back I wish I spent more time actually playing with my kids. Just a thought. Cause I went through the same thing.
De-escalating tactics, kids act out when they need/want to connect but don’t know how… ask her if she’s needing something that you can provide, ie, empathy, attention, or stimulation (maybe she’s bored and this is entertaining?) Good luck, keep breathing
Shes controlling what she can. Maybe talk to her see why she’s hurting? Bring her to counciling. Any behavior will bring attention. Maybe being bad is how she gets the most.
She needs to see a Psychiatrist immediately !!! This is not just bad behavior. Something is going on !!!
Take her to a well trained child counselor. There may be other issues here at play. Sounds like she has a lot of anger.
She needs a spanking bet that would shut up her smart mouth. I don’t mean hurt her just get a sting enough to get her attention.
Somewhere her developmental needs weren’t met or are not being met. I am assuming it’s the absence of her father. I would say family therapy or at least therapy to help you and her figure out why she is acting out and why she seems to have some sort of resentment
what it sounds like to me is that when she was younger she was “SPOILED A LOT” maybe not by u could be someone in family too now that she is older she thinks she can rule the roast with the way she wants thing done - well honey u have to start putting your foot down . your daughter thinks she is a miss know it all to me she sounds like a BIG SPOILED BRAT THAT WANTS THINGS HER OR THE HIGHWAY" talk to family members about this also about not spoiling her at any event and another thing is she also could be hanging around kids whom are spoiled and honestly don’t care what there parents really think. have the school try and do something - but u will need a doctors note for this - try and get some professional help with this. sure it maybe costly but honey i believe it will help to a point
Is she an only child? Has there been problems in school? Are you still with here real father?
Reason I ask is sometimes these things may give you the answer.
Also have you spanked her, cuz you can do that. My parents had all kinds of punishment for us growing up and were never afraid to spank us.
I know now days they are taught that hitting is a form of abuse, well not a spanking. It’s gonna kill you more than her but when she wltalks back, if I did that smack in the mouth. Just sayingmybe try a child therapist.
Every tantrum and bad behaviour a child has is because of disconnect. Try to connect with her in these moments: ‘. I understand it’s hard to be you, it’s hard to be 7, it’s hard when you miss your dad, you must feel misunderstood, I understand you feel anger towards me.’ Things like that.
Stay calm, get on her level, and show her the respect you are asking for: listen, don’t carry her to her room if you also don’t want her to get physical, etc.
There are a ton of clips on Facebook reels/tiktok from child psychologists that can help you understand your daughter’s needs and why she acts out
See if you can get a referral for behavioral health. Behavioral health should be able to help.
I saw someone mentioned Maggie Dent. I downloaded an audio book after reading the comment and it’s full of helpful information for all problematic behavior in children. Thank you to that helpful commenter… I couldn’t find the original post 
My daughter went through an episode like this for a few months … her father and I have always been together her whole life… and for a span of maybe 9months we did not living together and we’re working it out. She would behave this way. Once he came home her behavior drastically improved. At that same time we had just moved schools and homes and I believe she was overwhelmed and felt like out of control. And she was angry with me because it was my “fault”. But she’s doing a lot better now. During those episodes I would like hug her. I would hold her tight. To keep her from assaulting me and show her still that I am in control. But that i love her. I would talk to her whole holding her. And tell her if she stopped throwing a fit I would let her go. That I love her. That I’m here for her and I don’t want her hurting herself or me. That I’ll always love her no matter what. And then in the between time when everything is good! Give lots of affection ask about her day. Praise her for the things she does well! Ask her if she needs to talk and let her know you’ll listen. Girls days etc.
Rebuild the connection, set boundaries and stick to them and don’t let her control your emotions…pretend her negative behavior doesn’t affect and set age appropriate consequences! It’s going to take a few weeks to see a change but keep doing it!
Try hugging and comforting her when she’s upset let her know you want to help her so you can understand what she needs
When my daughter was 4 years old, she did this. I spanked her butt…and I spanked her. Nothing worked. During one episode, she was on the floor kicking and throwing her fit…I stepped over her and ignored her. That was the end of the tantrums.
Therapy is paramount in any situation where you as an adult feel out of control. If it s not always been a thing then she’s probably being bullied at school and doesn’t feel safe unless she’s with you so she lets out that built up anger. She could be having hormone trouble some kids start andrenarche before 8 and it’s causes problems, it’s like a pre puberty phase where their body is getting new hormones and in some kids it causes problems. Ask her pediatrician, get a therapist. You should consider therapy too, tomes like that are super hard by yourself and you need support
need more cuddle time, and let her teach u things, ask her how her day was and let her pick what activity to do. Tell her your behavior is hurting mommy and i love u alot please try not to be mean to mommy
Can she write make her write I am sorry. Like 50 times.
A good whack on the butt is just what she needs.
Let me ask you a few questions. Are yall able to go and have girl time together ? Are there other kids in the house or is she an only child ? Is she struggling with things at school (grades, bullies, changes to her body, etc)?
Feed her exlax everyday
I would try to get her into counseling. I know it’s not easy. There are waiting lists, but keep looking. Check with the school. See how her behavior is there. Ask if she’s having trouble with any of her classes. Ask if she has conflict with any of the other kids. You might want to try a change in routine. What do you do after breakfast? I know she has school now, but what about when school lets out? What will be your summer routine? It bears thinking about. It might not be a bad idea to double up on housework a couple of days a week and have a couple of days free to spend with her. Picnics. Walks. A trip to the zoo. Whatever is possible. Maybe that will get through to her and get her talking. It’s worth a try.
How about you and your husband? Have you jointly gotten counseling? Do you both know how to raise emotionally healthy children? Many people do not, and it is not either of your faults! When we are raised by people that do not know how to raise up emotionally healthy children, we have children who are emotionally immature and controlling or demanding etc, aka tornados… I was one a tornado and thankfully I know different now. When I was FINALLY able to say (at age 46) the problems in my life (including with other people) were primarily my cause, do to poor choices, being unsatisfied and never pleased, jealousy, feeling a lack of self worth, attention seeking etc… and DID something to change ALL my attitudes about life, others, and God’s Universe, including God…was when ALL the relationships around me changed, for the better… best of luck to you.
Read Magic 1,2,3. It helped me a ton. I was over explaining everything and was inconsistent with my reactions and discipline. It truly made things so much better when my daughter was behaving like that. We used it for six months and it really turned her around.
Maybe she needs good, positive quality time with you, mama? Sounds like a cry for attention
You need to take her to her pediatrician to rule out things like hypoglycemia or anemia. If it’s not a deficiency then see a family councilor.
My sister was like that and she was anemic (back in the 50’s when they didn’t know much.)
My granddaughter was horrible to her parents and also had behavioral issues until diagnosed with hypoglycemia. When her blood sugar got low she was as mean as 
!
Give her a cookie or juice or a sandwich when she starts to get like that and see if that helps. It just might be the answer! It’s nothing you’ve done. Really. But ignoring it won’t make it go away!
Mental health try play therapy
Young one, sounds like she is demonstrating frustration. Why? How is her education going? How is her social skills? Is she involved with any type of programs (ie- scouts, sports, music)how is her behavior in the various environments she takes part in? Did she just start this out of the blue? Or did it progress over time? I might suggest family counseling- you may find all the answers there. You might even talk with your pediatrician- get her checked out - he might have a list of resources for you.
You’re physically reprimanding your child and they respond physically? Hmm.
Please, please don’t spank her. I’m telling you from experience. It will not help.
These times with kids are so hard prayers and church for sure I have a 14 year old son that I have a hard time with too. We need god in our lives and our babies lives. Hugs and lots of players being a mom is hard sometimes keep your head up
Have her evaluated for mood swings. It happens in young kids too.
I had a grandson that was hard to handle , the more we tried to make him mine the worst he was , so one day I thought this is not working, so I call him to me and pulled him close told him how much I love him and we just sit and talked , sometimes when kids are bad they just need a little of your time and love , cause when they are acting up they
Need attention in a good way not always punished
You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re trying. You’re asking for advise. Are these new behaviors? It could be hormones. I would talk to the pediatrician and see about referrals to mental health experts because it could be more. You wanna get ahead of it now. Good luck. Hang in there.
Spanking isn’t going to make her behavior better (despite what most people believe) it just triggers chemicals in her brain to activate fight or flight. And sending her to her room or the corner isn’t going to work, because you’re basically just sending her off to be alone when she has big feelings. Have your tried to sit her down get on her level (while she’s calm not combative) and ask her what’s the problem? Teach her how to navigate when she’s feeling upset and how to handle it properly? Kids aren’t going to learn how to deal with their emotions on their own, that’s something that needs to be modeled to them. Discuss it with her. Maybe seek parental counseling so you can better learn how to help her. When kids act out it’s because some need that they might have isn’t being met & acting out of the only way they know to handle it.
She’s feeling some big emotions and lacks the ability to express them correctly. She’s not attention seeking she’s connection seeking. I suggest you find a good physcologist
This must be your first girl just wait they’ll be more to come I’ve had three
She may have ODD have her checked out by doctor. Be patient don’t let her feed off of your frustrations. My oldest son was like that when he was younger.
Girls with her behavior will continue until she needs help when she get into trouble at school at her friends home this. No matter how many times you try to be there she will rebell but your her biggest help. Try reverse sociology on her
I see a lot of negative compliance actions you have taken to to to influence her behavior. What POSITIVE things have you done in regard to her discipline? Have you ever sat her down and actually talked with her, not at her, about why she does the things that you are describing? Rewarding good behavior can result in better behavior overall than constantly drawing lines in the sand and resorting to physical violence.
Sounds like my 13 year old who was recently diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and a list of other things after what felt like 100s of test but now he is on medicine he is a whole different child. Try taking her for a mental health evaluation
I was like that when I was a kid. Dad was on the road all the time so mom was stuck trying to deal with me and my younger sister. I was an asshole and my mom was fed up with me and my behavior. She finally started telling me “just wait until your dad gets home” that would straighten me up for a bit
Behavioral therapy, counciling. Please don’t spank your daughter. They don’t understand and it teaches her that people who say they love her will hit her.
My daughter did that at that age turns out she had adhd and she on pills and now she’s fine
Get your child evaluated for mental and sensory issues and go to counseling with her. I am betting she has some undiagnosed issues that need to be addressed. She could be Autistic, ADHD, Bipolar or a combination of things. Once you know if she has anything then it will be easier to know how to work with her. My granddaughter has ADHD and sensory issues and we have dealt with the physical hitting and kicking (swimmer so strong for her age), meltdowns and attitude. We have her on medication, in physical therapy, in counseling and she is on a swim team for both exercise and therapy (swimming is great for sensory issues). It is hard but the best thing you can do is get her tested and know what you are dealing with. I wish you the best of luck.
I had one of these. I was told to do time out or remove them to their room without saying a word. When they talked to me to just ignore them. I couldn’t believe it worked and my kids are now in their 40’s and when we talk about discipline they say that was the worse. They felt hurt that they hurt my feelings lol don’t give up you’ll make it
Go see her dr n talk let the dr know all of this n will send u in the right direction to get her help
Omg on all the people saying get her on drugs as the answer. You just spoiled her and let her go without discipline for too long. Ignore her when she talks and take everything out of her room that she likes…TV,tablet,toys,books,etc. Ground her where cant go anywhere on weekends. School and home only until her behavior improves. No extra curricular activities for awhile either if she doesn’t behave better. This is what happens when don’t discipline your kids at an early age where they respect their parents. It isnt a mental disorder and drugging your kids isnt the answer! Drs will say your kid has all kinds of crap so they can get more appts,which equals more money,as well as they get a percentage off every prescription they write.
Be a good parent. Start teaching them right from wrong at an early age. Pop hands when they try to get into things as a toddler and start telling them No then. Later on…pop butts and time outs. Better alternative than them getting out of control later on and you having to drug them or send them to jail as a scare tactic. This whole trend of being your kid’s friend instead of parent is going to end with a lot more jails,prisons,and mental institutes being filled to the max. 
Spanking sure helped us ,but sometimes their are other issues.that need special help.
Nah that’s when you tell her get it together or we will have a Dr find out what’s wrong
My son at 3 started that bad… autism / bi polar / ADHD/ haring loss
Autism can go learning or behavioral
My son is behavioral
But his ADHD is learning like mine.
You got this 
I would take her for an evaluation. It’ll only get worst, so I would try to find out what’s wrong or learn some ways to prevent her from blasting out. Sorry mama. You got this.
My son is like that he’s got ADHD ODD and an anxiety disorder as well as impulse control issues
Not an expert but a mom-and retired school nurse with alot of water under the bridge. If this is a new behavior or if there is a time frame that you can pinpoint when it started you should be able to find what triggered the change Childrens behavior doesn’t change for no reason. Something happened to trigger it. if she has always been that defiant and you are just now unable to deal with her then that’s another story. She didn’t acquire that behavior over night and can’t be corrected in a snap. Either way your child sounds like she has some feeling inside her that she needs to express. And the only way she knows is to be defiant and angry. Talk- love-assurance-and positive reinforcement will work most of the time. But first you have to find the root cause of the behavior. Prayers for the both of you!!
Ask family members to take her away she might realize how much she misses you and treat you better
Get the name of a counselor from her doctor, school/teachers. She needs to talk to someone or maybe she has a chemical imbalance.
I would see a psychologist
You did nothing wrong, you didn’t spoil her, she has behavioral issues, and she’s seven.
Don’t try to take the upper hand here, but also learn to show this is unacceptable in other ways .( I wish you weren’t my mom! ) Go hire yourself a new one ( I hate you ) you’re no prize either. Show her words can hurt both parties. ( I want xyz) when you can behave like a person, I will get it for you. I went through the same thing, she’s testing boundaries.
Make them clear, and don’t back down. Unless she’s destructive or dangerous, then seek help.
I suggest you create a chart, and log each incident. The chart should have date; time; antecedent (what happened first); sleep; food consumed; additional notes. After about 7-10 days, you may notice trends.
She has adhd take her to the Dr my son was same way an their was nothing I could do to help him but the Dr helped him alot
ADHD get her tested.
My granddaughter will get that way if she is hungry. It has something to do with her blood sugar. You might try getting her to eat something when she starts getting crabby.
Talk to your pediatrician and ask for a psychological exam and explain the behavior you’re experiencing. Good luck mom.
Funny thing… a lot of females are misdiagnosed with ADD/ADHD and end up finding out in their 20’s they have autism.
I was this 7 year old.
I spent so many years drugged up on medications that made me worse. Not saying she is autistic, but it’s something worth looking into. Asperger’s is very hard to determine in females, let alone children since most of the tests are based off a young male brain. As a youth, it displays similar stuff to that of ADD/ADHD.
I agree with taking notes. It could be she is overwhelmed. Take notes of sounds, lights, what is going on right before her meltdowns. Try music, or putting her in a quiet place to hash things out on her own.
My 5 year old is the same. She’s in therapy now! And we’re working through it. Would that be something she would do good with?? I just grin and bear it. Some days are terrible and I’m sure I’m not gonna make it! I’m here if you need!!
OMFG!!! Every comment is like"oh poor kid has a condition and needs drugs! WTF is wrong with this planet? THE CHILD IS BEING A BRAT!!! I have a son who’s autistic and one who has ADHD and borderline autistic, neither of them behave like that. So many people using these conditions as an excuse to not control their child’s bad behavior and to drug them up instead of teaching them better. God help the world when they grow up believing it’s ok to abuse people because they have a diagnosis that gives them permission 
Get rid of You tube, take away all electronics for a long period of time. That is what helped us out. You tube is the worst for kids, you tube kids is not that good as well for them.
Have a behavioral appointment with her pediatrician. It’s going to be okay and it’ll take time but once you learn how to talk to each other it’ll be so much better. Trust me it’s help me and my daughter so much with communicating. (Mine started at 5 and she’s 7 now)
How about quit freaking asserting your control & treat her with some dignity & respect…
Do you treat your spouse or friends that way? Don’t do it to your kid. It’s not hard to treat her nice, & loving, do things together, stop hitting, & quit taking things from her.
Talk to her. Explain what behavior you expect & allow her to get out the bad feelings at home in a positive manner. Noone, & I mean noone is 100% happy & well behaved all of the time.
She is seeking your positive attention so quit withholding it because she’s acting up. That’s when she needs it the most.
So she has no toys, no screens, no bikes, no snacks no entertainment at all currently? And she’s still acting that way? Cause she sure in hell wouldn’t be getting anything back until that behavior changed. Not like take the shit for a day and give it back the next day.
Then ignore every tantrum until she calms herself down. Then maybe chime in and explain things or ask if she wants to talk about all the nonsense she just stirred up.
Everyone is so quick to diagnose kids with stuff nowadays instead of some tough love. The truth is kids are assholes anymore and get away with more now than ever before. (Im also not saying she doesn’t have one of those things either before someone feels like jumping down my throat) just saying I’d be trying everything else first. And be consistent.