First thing here…Stop feeling guilty for your child’s behavior! Children are small humans trying to figure everything out. They find what works and what doesn’t. Set boundaries and stick to them. What works for some kids doesn’t for others. I agree with some of the comments about therapy and ruling out mental health disorders. However if nothing comes from doctors, stick to your guns. Physical punishments and withholding of affection rarely works in the way our parents thought it did. Just know that if you set boundaries and stick to them, she will come around.
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Sounds like my 7 year old so following for tips too
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DO NOT GIVE IN!! This was always my biggest problem. I always gave things back. Once they realize ur stern on punishments they change. Wishing u the best of luck
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Stern punishment isn’t always for every child. They all require a different type of punishment and you’ve not found it yet.
I agree with being softer, show her the respect you’re wanting.
Sometimes we get so fed up with the attitude, the back talk, and everything in between, that we lash out at every move they make… maybe that’s what is happening here?
My nine year old is similar…ODD oppositional defiance disorder…I don’t know the answer and neither do health professionals but some meds might help.
Take her to a children’s psychologist. Maybe they can find out why she misbehaving. Have you tried getting her in church?
first of all no spanking
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You need to talk to someone, the two of you. I went threw that with 1 of my boys and found out about him, but also found out it was me too. Do it now with school counselor, doctor and they’ll help you find someone who can help you both
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Have you had a conversation with her. After bathtime, or whenever she is relaxed. If you are not participating with her behaviour and remain on an even keel you might have chance.
Ive read that its an attention thing most often and she’s looking for a reaction- so instead of being super upset by things she probably doesn’t mean- i wouldn’t react super upset. Id just tell her what she is saying is super hurtful and you love her but would like your space.
I would suggest therapy. Has their been any major changes? Have you talked to the dr to see if their could be something underlying going on?
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Why concentrate on discipline? Try complimenting her. Tell her how proud you are. Take her to church.
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I have my four-year-old who will sometimes tell me mommy “I hate you”
and I will tell him that’s perfectly fine you can hate me now but just remember I’m your protection and I’m here to protect you and love you don’t make sure you don’t get sick from chedos he loves eating. After being sick and feeling a little better.
Within a couple minutes afterwards I get my son apologizing and saying mom I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say that.
Now putting her on time out and telling her  go to her room sounds much to me like isolation because you can show better ways of communication with her. I send you much love 
but try connecting with her more then zoning from her when she misbehave: Play something about every child that what they say they are trying to communicate something and it’s up to us if we want to understand or not.
She has big feelings and doesn’t know how to express them. Talk to her instead of sending her to her room.
Your doing a good job
Keep doing what you are doing
Kids need discipline not the softly softly approach
Every time She behaves like that take 2 items out of her bed room
Even take the door off
Leaving only her mattress
She will soon realise her behavior is unacceptable
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Children do well when they can . She’s struggling and has needs that aren’t being met . She isn’t bad , you’re missing something .
Your the parent. Control the situation. Shes only7.
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I would suggest professional counseling. That is not normal behavior for a 7 year old.
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You wouldn’t like my answer!
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sounds like a behavor n ADDHD PROBLEM HAVE HER TESTED ASAP
When she says she hates you, tell her that’s OK because I love you! And when she says I wish you won’t my mom tell her, that’s all you have wished for since before she was born. Try taking anything negative she says and respond with something positive. And take the to ask her why she feels that way. Also let her know how you feel too. Say something like im sorry you don’t like this but I need you to do it. And even though it makes me feel sad when I have to yell at you, or send you too your room. I am your mom and it’s my job to teach you how to be a kind, caring and strong young woman.
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Choices then follow through.
Say she hits her sibling or friend. Let her know, “hey if you hit again, then these will be the consequences”
Then if she doe it again you tell her “I’m sorry, but you hit again. We talked about what would happen if you did and you said you understood. Would you prefer consequence A or consequence B?”
Usually with my kids it is either timeout or losing dessert.
If she chooses neither then tell her “okay, if you don’t make a choice I will choose for you. I will give you a couple minutes to think it through”
Go about your business. Come back and talk about it again.
Hopefully she will choose. If not
“I gave you a few minutes to think it through. Have you made your choice? If not this is the choice I’m going to pick”
That usually prompts my kids to choose. Very rare we have to choose for them.
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Sounds like me as a kid…and found out as an adult that my reactions as a child were likely due to my undiagnosed high functioning autism which is almost never recognized in female children.
Either way, she needs therepy and a safe place to express those big feelings and why she is having those reactions before behaviors will be corrected. I can assure you all the punishment in the world will not correct these behaviors. Therapy. That’s what you need. Maybe both independent and separate family counseling. The fact that you are asking shows that you really care about your child and her healthy development and this is your best next step.
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7 is such a tough age, my daughters 7 and she’s like a mini teenager at the moment
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get her to a child psychiatrist- quickly! I will be praying for you all.
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Toughing up buttercup. I was a kid and said things way worse than that to my mom. I’ve said I hate you, I wish I wasn’t born, I wish I was dead, even called my mom a bad word at age 15. I was spanked, slapped, put on time out, had chores also did I’d things to earn money around the house, and I was often grounded from doing things with my friends and more. Now, my mom and I are super tight. Call her daily. Many Kids today are spoiled and parents are afraid of their kids hating them. Its life. God said to give the children structure (i.e. spare the rod, spoil the child), to become good people. Try reading a Bible or going to church. It helped myself and many other street kids, I knew.
My son started acting like that we he was 3!! He’s now 12…and most days I still feel the same way as you do ~ what did I do so wrong. Medication may be in order, but if you want to try something right now that is not a RX, try Brillia. It helps significantly with my son’s anger issues.
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Indeed, before this behavior can’t be changed, she is still young.
As hard as it is love her hard. Instead of punishing her try do understand her young mind. Why is she angry? Kids don’t always know how to verbally explain their thoughts. She’s acting out find out why. Sometimes you have to just hold them I wish I would’ve known this when my kids weee younger instead I was told to correct them when all they needed sometimes was someone to love them more. Just food for thought
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Our first born son had many of the issues you describe; and I know many won’t believe that vaccinations have anything to do with bad behavior in children; but if you do some investigation into it, there is a lot of research that says otherwise! Red dye can cause this sort of reaction in many people, not just children. Our first son had allergic reactions to so many things as a baby and child; (we are fair skinned, fair haired, blue/green eyes) and food red dye was an obvious culprit for him, and our other kids too. (and as a child, my eyes swelled shut from Bayers childrens asprin, and the red dye in the fluoride treatment they used to treat my teeth as a child.) It’s in many prescription drugs for children; cough medicine, liquid antibiotics; breakfast cereals; candy; candies and snacks. Our youngest son complained of breakfast cereal making his mouth itch as a toddler; that is what really got me into “detective mode” because he had such a bad reaction to his first round of shots at 2 months, his doctor filed a VAERS report; and thankfully he never had any more shots; and he’s 34 and healthy as a horse today! Our middle child, a daughter was totally breast fed and didn’t get any shots and is by far the healthiest of our 3 children. (and she is raising her 7 blessings the same way she was raised, healthy whole food and clean water and no shots. (grandma to 17 and Great Grandma to 5 little ones)
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She is dominating you. To make time outs and sending her to her room work, you have to completely ignore her. Kids will get attention by doing good or doing bad. Make sure you give her lots of attention when she is doing good and absolutely zero attention when she is doing bad.
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Therapy. Get her in with a behavioral health specialist. They’ll know where to go and what to do after visiting with her a few times.
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Paediateic Psychologist
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A great book which is a game changer and worth the read called Playful Parenting.
It really explains child’s perspective and helps shift things if you want change get and read the book
Sorry but I’d slap the shit out of her!!!
when daughter said “i hate you” when she was 4, i ignored her. just said “i love you anyway”. then ignored the rest of it. never said it again. not even as a teenager
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Don’t take those comments personally and after she calms down, tell her that those things really hurt you. Maybe cry together… I know I would if I was in that predicament. Don’t further punish her for saying those kinds of things and talk it through after a good calm down…
See a professional. You can’t fix this on your own unless you to commit to trying to do something radically different.
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She probably misses her dad and is acting out
Take her to doctor, see if she has a chemical imbalance.
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try to be her friend not mother thej lisen more to friends mothers are justwrong xxxxxx
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My Dad wasn’t around much when my sisters and I were young. We didn’t act out like this. Some kids have no Dad around at all, they don’t act like this. Personally, I’d rule that out.
To start, get her to a doctor. If physical causes can be ruled out, see a child behaviorist.
You can both be helped. Praying for you both
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Do u sit down and talk to her when she’s not so mad and ask her why
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Needing lots of cuddles and love don’t give attention to bad behaviour but love the rest of the time.she is hurting about something
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I feel asthough i could of written this. Lately bedtime is a huge battle. Same with getting ready for school. And making decisions. This morning was bad. I had to call the school and say she would be a half hour late.
Tonight she was a MONSTER at bedtime. I didnt know if i should cry or scream at her. I feel ya 
shes always been such an easy kid! But lately she has bouts of the devil 
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I found my daughter’s behaviour not so great when she was watching alot of YouTube shows I didn’t like. She seemed to develop alot of attitude from it. I’ve since banned her from YouTube which has helped alot. Still a work in progress but an improvement at least.
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Girl whoop her butt! That is unacceptable behavior. Honestly just take everything out of her room but her bed. Take her tv, toys, everything and make her earn her stuff back with good behavior.
Watch the super Nanny. She has lots of great advice.
I believe it’s on Hulu.
But following through with what you say is important.
Don’t give multiple warnings. If she keeps doing it after telling her once. Follow through with the punishment you said would happen.
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Before she gets mad ask her why she is angry.
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When she says I hate you reply with oh awesome you still have feelings for me. She will stop saying it as often. When I used this with my son took 1 week before he released what I was saying but I now only get it once every 6 months
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She could be acting out like that simply because she misses her dad. I would sit down and talk to her about it
She is 7, I would definitely find out if she is being bullied in school. Things happening in school can continue at home.
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Definitely talk to your pediatrician or a professional! You need to have evaluated for a deeper issue.
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Let it go, breathe deep and start talking to her about her being responsible for her behavior. Let her overeat or stay up too late…say well I told ya so whenever you can 
remind her you will help but her choices can be bad ones and she could get hurt. Tell her you don’t want her to get hurt. Always always tell her you love her. My six-year-old is special needs…once I let go of forcing or being mad it is so much more fun and loving to parent <3 A counselor wouldn’t hurt either…
Good Luck remember if you are doing the best you can, by definition you can’t do anymore. Keep trying, every day is a new day. Sometimes Nathan taking a shower, or switching rooms makes a difference, brushing teeth, reading stories…Good Luck! It’s not “bad” behavior its her struggling and not being able to say what she needs or maybe deciding? change your perception <3
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Try just asking her what the problem is and see what she says. She’s old enough to properly express how she feels and maybe you guys can come up with an agreement to encourage better behavior
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Spank her and put her on the wall.
Old school spank that ass. let her know l brought you in this world I’ll take your ass out
There is a lot of advice out there. But you have to do whats best for your daughter. Because every situation is different, things other people try might not work for you. I can tell you I have a 35-yo daughter who started an early age skipping class, rebellion, bad grades and quite a mouth. I have blamed myself all her for all her problems. She was addicted to drugs by age 12. I worked 12 hrs a shift and her dad was sorry. She has never told me everything that bothered her. I should have started her in a good praying church. I worked so much and really I could not. I would start with talking to her and try to find out what’s wrong. I know she is 7, but make sure drugs are not the culprit. My daughter was arrested age 12 and has been in and out of detention as a child, then jail then prison. Lost all 3 kids. There is still tension between us because I did not do something about her dad being sorry. Try to talk…maybe a Dr like Dr Peter Oas can help you find out what is wrong. I wish you good luck in your endeavors. No one can tell you the magic fix. There is something on her mind. Try to find that out. Prayers for yall and I know just what you’re going through…but love her first but be firm.
Have a read of this If I Have to Tell You One More Time... by Amy McCready | The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling | 9780399160592 | Booktopia
Some brilliant tools in there 
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I would seek counseling for you both. Your child is acting out from emotional pain and just growing up. This doesn’t have to be so hard on either of you.
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