My brother, who is 16, is completely out of control. He refuses to go to school, which has ended with my mom in truancy court. He harasses my mom until she gives him so much money that she can’t pay bills, won’t keep a job, threatens to harm himself or others when he doesn’t get his way, alcohol and drug use, violent outbursts that have resulted in holes in walls, etc. He has a 22-year-old girlfriend that we can’t keep him away from, even with threatening a restraining order. He refuses to take responsibility for his actions; everything is always somebody else’s fault. I’m moved out and on my own, but my mom and little sister are still in the house dealing with this everyday. My mom had cancer and has had multiple surgeries, so she’s been sick, and she was so mentally drained that she just did what he wanted so she could rest. I think she’s hesitant to do anything because it’s her son, but she can’t keep living like this. She couldn’t even go to the hospital for surgery without him causing problems, calling and screaming at her, turning her house into a hangout for a bunch of people, having violent outbursts on my aunt and me. My mom is home now trying to recover from her last surgery, and he has so little respect that he has at least five people there every day, smoking and acting like fools, making messes. None of her family can go by to help; I won’t take her granddaughter over because it’s always something. I really could go on for days, but my question is… What could I do? Legally or just in general? Or what could my mom do that I could help her with? She’s so mentally drained trying to deal with this and be sick; I’m worried about her.
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Have the Police come to the home to have a serious chat with him. In no way should his mother give into his demands. He’s still a child. He can always be placed in Juvenile detention for a few months.
The 22 yr old is a child predator…contact the police
Call DSS. Report him as a danger, because he is.
Tell him go get a job take some accountability
Time for some jail time for the 22 year old 
16 is a minor and he is still a child…
NO WAY !!
He needs to go to a temporary foster home where 2 stronger people can deal with him, and your mom can get a break.
Press rape charges on the 22 year old
Military school or bootcamp/boarding school. It’s still exists
He needs to be evaled by psych and put in rehab and therapy. Girlfriend needs to go to jail, she’s a friggin child predator —call social services, call your state police.
Stop threatening. Have her arrested while they’re together.
Turn all his stuff off.
Press charges if you have to.
His threats of suicide are for attention. If he meant it her wouldn’t tell you.
I dealt with my nephew like this & I asked him which firearm he wanted. 
That ended those threats.
He needs no holds bar tough love.
Giving in makes it worse.
he NEEDS my dad around for awhile!!! Guarantee the attitude would change !!!
Have him court ordered to treatment. Call the cops and ask what you can do about getting him put in juvenile detention. If his friends are over and drug users then I’m sure they have something on them. Call the cops on them while they are over. Meet them there allow them in and give them full permission to search anyone and everything in the house. Who ever doesn’t consent will most likely end up being searched anyway. Once there is a court date for ur brother (hopefully he will go to jail) go to the court hearing and tell the judge exactly what has been going on. He will most likely court order him to treatment of some sort, then probation etc. If by chance they can’t do anything you can go and get him court ordered urself threw the state you live in. I did in multiple times with my brother without him being arrested…
Sounds like an outlet for a lot of trauma. Possibly bipolar or mentally unstable. I would emancipate and evict. But one could say he needs therapy.
She needs to start calling the cops on him when he gets violent and have him arrested. Part of it is because she lets him get away with his behavior so he’s going to keep doing it.
Call the police on the girl .she allows the behavior so it will continue
Also the truancy fines can be put in his name at 16 she just needs to tell the school or court
I was there with my two oldest boys, couldn’t get help from no one. Finally they caught enough charges to go in front to the juvenile judge. He is amazing & fair! Well the one in my town. He is 16, so call the school & ask for the child to be charged with truancy, that will get HIM in front of the judge. As far as the 22 yr old girlfriend. Check your state laws. The state I’m in 16 is legal age of consent, however, the other person can not be more then 4 years older then the 16 yr old for example. Good luck!!!
Either put him in a mental hospital for kids or send him to a boot camp. Also get him into therapy.
well first things first the child predator he is “dating” needs to be reported to police ASAP and charged. Then he needs some serious therapy and ideally an in-patient rehab facility where he can also get treatment but I know those can be hard to afford for many in the US but she is not doing him any favors by not doing anything and just allowing him to continue on this path. If he threatens to harm himself then you should be able to at least get him admitted for a psych eval and then go from there but he needs some serious help and with having people over like that and smoking when your mother is trying to recover and dealing with cancer can literally kill her.
I think you know what needs to be done. He needs to go to rehab. Your mom needs to call the police before someone calls CPS and your little sister is removed because of unsafe living conditions. Charges need to be pressed against this 22 year old predator.
I think you know all of this but we’re hoping for a work around. Sadly there isn’t one, he’s playing big boy games with big boy consequences. The only thing to do is make sure he faces them before your mother and sister suffer.
I know where we are 2 family members can sign someone in to a metal health hospital… and I know they also do behavioral treatment with teens … I’m in Indiana
Everyone has to stop enabling him.
Seriously send his ass away to boot camp or something for a few years.
He needs help
He needs to go to mental health treatment
And she latterly need to stop spoiling and giving him everything
Even if he acts a fool
It’s rather He gets help or it’s only going to get worse
I’m so sorry you’re going through this
Get your mom to put him on a hold.
He needs to be placed in a facility thay can provide him help. I’m so sorry your family is going through this
Next time he pretends to hurt himself let him and next time he goes to jail leave him there…if there is anything good bout jail/prison is that if your the type of person who lacks manners and respect the fellas there will educate you and not like mom and that but with nothing but violence let h enter the real world and stop giving in to his needs tough love is the best lesson as a person who used to be like what u describe only hitting rock bottom alone without help got me to change
Send him to boot camp
Sent him off period or get to root of issue but prob to far gone I have worked in correctional facility they wanna act grown and be stupid show them grown prob if something isn’t done he will likely end up in jail either way
Let’s see: the biggest Romeo and Juliet laws here in the States is five years, with most being 1-4 in the States that actually have them.
The girlfriend is SIX years older.
That is called statutory rape, sweetie.
Can ya spell prison and sex offender list?
Let’s see…
Most places have Adult Protective Services.
Involve them for your mom.
I get you do not want to cause a separation in the home right now, but get CPS involved NOW. Either he will be placed in a group home or you can file for custody of your little sister so she at least can be safe.
Let’s see: underaged drinking and smoking.
Sounds like Juvie to me.
And then here is one of MY personal favorites.
Military school.
Seriously.
Consider it.
They don’t take shit and he will either shape up or else in there.
Can you take on your little sister at least?
I’m so sorry you and your family are dealing with this. The truth is, he probably won’t make a change until he has to and decides to on his own. If he’s a threat to himself and others he should be admitted to a hospital. There is a lot of help out there, your mom really needs to do something now, both for his benefit and everyone else’s! I would first find a crisis center/phone line where you live that you could call to get resources.
Seriously Try To Contact Dr Phil Show Maybe could Get Him Some Help & Your Mom. Godspeed
Boot camp. Gf needs to be reported for stat rape. Most states age of consent is 17. Mom needs to stop enabling him and make him get a job if he needs money so bad. In my experience my brother is that same way. The suicide threats are just for attention. Mom needs to take him to a phycologist and have him evaluated for personality disorders like sociopath and have him get medicated. He will only get worse ,I would know my brother is now 26 and playing that same game since he was a pre teen.
First thing, call and report the girlfriend to the cops. Addicts do this a lot. Stop giving him what he wants set boundaries and the next time he threatens to hurt himself call and have him put on a 72 hour watch in a facility. There are lots of options bit all of the feel like an uphill battle. Its worth it every time
Call the cops the next time something happens and have him psychiatrically evaluated at the er. They can involuntary petition/admit him to inpatient psychiatric care for adolescents as long as he is a danger to himself and others.
Call your police and have him charged sometimes tough love is the way to go if not someone may end up getting hurt or worst
I hate to read about this happening with your family. I’ve been going through a similar situation for 12 years with my own brother. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want help. But the only bright side is he’s not a legal adult. There are options to force him into a facility for his drug abuse. But be warned, we did that for my own brother and he turned a 30 day program to a 90+ stay because of breaking rules and relapse. Only reason he left was he turned 18 and signed himself out. Thoughts and prayers! My own family is still struggling through it. I don’t know your specific situation but it’s either jail or death. Force the issue with your mom. He’s still underage and there are so many options to nip this in the bud before it’s too late.
call the police get him out before she gets hurt send him to shelter she cant go on like this hell better for it
I really don’t know anything about it but maybe Adult Protective Services could help!
In Georgia you go thru Juvenile Court and he would be declared an unruly child. He would have to appear before the Juvenile Judge and have guidelines to follow.
Not sure what state you are in but check with the Juvenile Court in your county or state.
Also, if there is more than 4 years difference in their ages and they are sleeping together the girlfriend might could be charged with statutory rape. I would check into that as well if it was my family.
Sounds like its time for boot camp or juvie…if not, in two years he will be headed to prison
You could try and commit him to mental health place especially with the self harm comments
ive been there and done just that my daughter is now clean and sober now for 4 years
If his gf is 22 id report her 
im shocked so many comments arent mentioning that.
The girlfriend is guilty of being a pedophile. Call the police. Let the courts handle the rest of his behavior.
Call the cops! Tell them you fear for his safety(suicidal idealation) and for your safety.
What a little asshole!!
Should be sent to juevie or the farm. Sounds like he’s out if control and needs tough love.
If he threatens his life she can have him put in the hospital in the psych floor so he can get help
Id file rape charges on her that is pedophile type shit. If a man pulled that shit he would be locked up. Thats is nasty asf. As for achool talk to the judge have him sent to juvie.
Download the forms to become your moms medical power of attorney and then get a mobile notary to come to her house to witness the signature, at that point you can advocate in your moms best interest which I would say no longer includes him if he’s tweeking out on her
Ok first of all you can do something about the 22 year old girlfriend. He’s a minor, it’s called statutory rape. Get the police involved. Your mom needs to quit enabling him. Is his father around?
bruh - call the police
stop asking facebook
these are dangerous situations and tough love is the way to go
seriously, especially on the 22yr old!!! that is against the law for one fucking thing and she should be absolutely charged and your own mother can be charged for allowing it as well
get a grip and call the cops on the girlfriend and your brother
ffs!!
She needs to change the locks and do tough love. We had to do that with my brother and he was gone and lost in LA for many months. We didn’t know where he was or if he was still alive. He finally figured it out and got his shit together and is a wonderful dad and has a great job and is such a great person. He does so much for our mom and completely does anything she needs. My other brother and I live out of state. So it’s all up to him and he never complains. We’ve talked and he says it’s his payback for what he’s done in the past and he would have done things differently if given the chance but doesn’t ever feel bad that things are up to him to help her now. I am the one who told her to do tough love when he was young and she didn’t want to do it. Now that I’ve had a kid that age that tried to do that path, I told him it’s my way or the highway and he didn’t even try me. He knows I won’t hesitate. I think for your mom’s sake, she needs to change the locks and do tough love. Or he won’t learn and will continue. And that is enabling him. So she is actually harming him more. So sorry your family is going thru this. I know how it feels.
Ring police and kick him and his friends out and explain to the police what’s going on once he’s out they put him somewhere. Your mum needs to put herself and your sister first she too Tired to be dealing with an idiot kid who takes advantage of her
In my opinion, only your mom can take care of this, if he is punished by law enforcement, maybe that will help 
The suicide threat is just because he’s not getting his way.You should go speak too authorities about everything! Let them lock him up.It will teach him too respect his elders.In the long run,this tuff LOVE will help. If you do nothing,he will be an inmate soon enough, for life.Change his path.Set up a boot camp for him.
I feel you. I’m a parent of a 15 year old who is ruining my life and destroying my family. There is nobody to help. Exhausted everything. They all say, you have to wait till they are an adult…I feel you.
22 and 16? That’s gross.
Report her to the police. Go to your mommas and when he acts a fool, call the cops on him too.
First of all the gf is a predator and should be in jail. A 22 yr old adult has no buisness being in a relationship with a 16 yr old kid. And from what you described it really sounds like mental illness. I would try to seek him help. My son is 11 and not quite to that degree but therapy and mental health professionals really do help. Best of luck to you and your family!
Our family dealt with this, still is in a different sense, my parents and I had to give tough love. Kicked him out on his ass and let him deal with his own consequences.
Couldn’t do rehab/boot camps ect without agreement & when we got them to agree once they didn’t get their way they purposely got themselves kicked out of the programs.
If she’s currently going to court for truancy, their is a dcfs truancy worker that is involved as well as a guardian ad limen she needs to speak with them both and voice her concerns. They can recommend different things to the judge then judge can order the psychological rehabs ect where it will be enforceable. I’m not sure there is much more else to do. Due to the truancy case your mom is between a rock and a hard place so she can’t kick him out or they can charge her with negligence which btw is the truancy charge so advice her not to plea guilty to anything even if they say it’ll end the case I promise you it’ll lead to more issues.
Figure out when his outbursts are and call the cops. Have him send to a psyche ward. Or, confront him yourself and tell him what the fu** is up. I know I would. I’d say, hey look here you 16 year old b***, I may be your sister, but XYZ… you feel me. Stick up for your mother, period.
Cops won’t do anything unless your mom puts restraining order on him. My parents are going through the same with my brother and has bein going in for years. They put restraining order on him n cops come and pick him up but they release him next day and it’s all over again. It’s a joke. The system has failed when it comes to mental illness and drug use. Sorry for what your mom is going thru. She don’t deserve this especially with her being sick.
Call the cops and have him removed. Have a restraining order put on her. Actions speak louder than threats. Call on your mom if she’s not willing to step forward and do something.
Do something NOW!! once he’s 18 you have zero control please do tough love my mother didn’t an at 58 he still expects everything for nothing,please please don’t feel bad about calling the police you have to have a paper trail,I’ll will pray for you its hard but do it NOW
You call the cops. It sounds like he has had plenty of chances. He needs some real help.
Elder abuse? Taking financial advantage of her vulnerability is criminal.
Call the cops on him. Record him saying he’s gonna hurt himself and get him committed now that he’s underage. You have the power now that he’s underage believe me. Now is the time to do it. Get him help out he will end up a statistic
Call the police on him
He is a self centered little arsehole
Call the police
Call the police about the girlfriend press charges she will be taken care of depending on your state they do have programs such as scared straight oklahoma has thunderbird for q6 and above. Also start calling the police when things are being destroyed and there are threats being made that will get the ball rolling with getting some kind of intervention
have her have home health come in as her care givers and dont tell them about him and they can pull more strings than anyone
Wait…. A 22 year old in a relationship with a sixteen year old?! That’s a predator. Call the cops like yesterday
Lock him up in the police station for months, or even years till his head calms down.
Then do not allow anyone to bail him, let him beg to be bailed
Arrest all his friends too
First of all I would call the police. What he’s doing is elder abuse/domestic violence.
Secondly, I would not only get a restraining order against the “adult” girlfriend, but I’d file statutory rape charges against her depending on the age of consent and how long the relationship has went on.
Then it sounds like he is a danger to himself and others. I’d see about getting him a 72 hour hold at a mental health facility. Sounds like he needs help mentally.
If none of that works speak to a social worker or case worker about having him removed from the home and put in a facility for uncontrollable youth.
At some point if his behavior doesn’t change your mother (family) is going to have to make some hard decisions. Considering the mothers health and having another child in the home. It’s an unsafe home environment for them.
Protect your mum. Sounds like he’s mentally ill/drug induced but she cannot enable it as much as it hurts. Honestly, call the cops, take your mum, hide away and move maybe. Cut him off financially and only agree to help him limitedly when he is getting professional help, bare minimum. His gf isn’t a gf, she’s a creep and needs to be locked away.
You can go to the magistrate office at the courthouse and have him involuntarily committed. Tell them about the drug use, partying, and threats of harm. A recording works wonders as proof and they can get him help. He is having mental issues and needs someone to talk to hes using drugs and the female as an escape from his reality of his issues when he really needs therapy and meds to help during this state. Did this all start when she first got diagnosed? That could have been the trigger but something major happened that caused this trigger and hes trying to mask it instead of facing it head on
Put his ass in jail before theres a permanent record! And put his 22 yo girlfriends ass in jail for statutory rape. I took in a little punk ass gang banger at 14 and turned him into an amazing young man. He was on probation by 16 cause I don’t play. He’s 20 now. Graduated high school, has a good job, 2 year steady relationship with someone who lifts him up. Yes ma’am no ma’am, still follows my rules because he lives in my house.
No kid will respect your threats. And if she’s giving up her bill money not to deal with it, she never followed through on any of those threats. Make the calls. It’s not easy, but you have a chance to save his life. You can take it or you can let him stay this path till prison 
Call the cops and have him arrested for drugs, can also call the cops on his girlfriend (she’s a pedophile)
Report the drugs to the cops record ing that’s a great idea just don’t give up your mom is sick she needs care and all that to much for her he needs a man to step in take control if he says he going to kill his self have him put away and dry out I really don’t think any of it will help him but it will help your mom
Military school, group home or juvenile hall. Emancipate him or get him committed. It’s gone on long enough.
I believe because he’s under 18, she can have him admitted for mental evaluation. They will test him for drugs and he will probably test positive and then they can put him in drug rehab. I’m sorry this is happening to you all!
Get the police involved and it’s time for mum to kick him out
Go to your magistrates office and get an out of control child warrant on him. He will be sent for a 72 hour eval and possibly hospitalized. Don’t allow friends over, make them leave.
It’s so sad to hear he’s putting her thru all that. Kids are assholes now a days. Where’s dad?? He needs a good swift kick! Try and get the father involved. Otherwise call the cops.
Mom has legal custody, right?She can have him involuntarily sent to a facility - she needs a counselor to help her decide which one - drug rehab, behavior, both, criminal, outdoor rehabilitation, whatever. She MUST get him into treatment. PLUS after talking to the counselor to decide where he is going, the police need to arrest the 22 year old for statutory rape of a minor. And if she is using drugs, too, all the better she is arrested. HARD LINE THIS and quickly, to save both their lives. GOOD LUCK!
Commit him. You can call the police and tell them that he is suicidal and they’ll hold him for 72 hours. Whiles he’s there, set boundaries. He either gets clean and goes straight or he can’t come home. Period.
I would file unruly child on him and put him in either a mental institution or in Juvenile hall. It sounds as if he needs some major help to learn to deal with all the mental and anger issues he has.
Call the police for the girlfriend situation and drugs, record everything, get him in a mental place also the police can take him to the hospital for 3 days of he’s thinking about hurting himself or others and they will monitor him and decide if he can go home or if he needs to be put in a mental hospital to keep him from hurting anyone or himself. If you have evidence he’s doing this better off on your and mom’s part it’ll help. Your mom needs to stand her ground as well I can’t imagine what she’s going through especially just getting out of surgery and trying to recover.
Not sure what state you are in but definitely worth checking out if you have the Baker Act
Call Dr. Phil! No kidding you can even e mail him . Down load his app and go from there. Never know till you try. It’s worth a shot.
call police next time he brings his friends in and they partie.
- Call the cops on the gf that is disgusting.
- Call CPS or the cops on ur brother and get him the hell away from ur mom and sister
Whenever the girlfriend is over, call the cops. Take her to court, if they’re having sex that’s considered statutory rape and she should be a registered sex offender, and since he is a child his mother can file a restraining order against her and if she breaks it she will get arrested. Most states have scared straight programs for kids like that. If he has a bunch of people over with drugs, call the cops on him and then and get proof. Sounds like he needs to be in an inpatients psychiatric program
Get custody of your little sister
Have him sectioned!
I hope your Mum and Sister don’t suffer anymore