I need help. My husband is in the army, he is not the father of my oldest whom is 13. He is being stationed in germany and her dad will not sign for our daughter to get a passport and come live with us. We plit custody but he never even seens her or keeps in contact with her. he wants her to come live with him while we are overseas but she nor I want that. She wants to come with me as she does not have a relationship with him. What can we do?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What can I do about this situation?
Go to court and have the courts give approval for the passport to be issued, the courts can approve it if your ex won’t play ball. There might be other options depending where you live, a lawyer can help.
She’s 13, go to court, does he pay child support, she can decide where she wants to live…the court will let her.
I have no experience with this situation but I would assume she is old enough to tell a judge she wants to live with you. And if you have record of lack of contact then probably better.
Just speculating but your ex sounds like he might be controlling and is just trying to play his games.
Go to court and have her speak for herself. She’s old enough in most states
If you don’t have custody set by the court, you can get her a passport, and leave the country and there ain’t nothin’ he can do about it.
You will probably have to get a court order
Touchy subject … if they are under 15 both parents have to sign …. You will need lots of records and documentation and hope you get a judge that will actually ask your child what they want … sometimes the judge will still deny . Good luck
Go to court pretty sure she is old enough to say who she wanta to live with
Use the legal services on base they are free to you, call them and set up an appointment
File a motion to change docile I’m court. My ex tried to prevent me from moving states with my kids (5&7). He hadn’t seen them in 4 years. He lost. You have more on your side than I did. The move is for military reasons & your child is old enough to speak on her own behalf. Hire a lawyer. Request that he reimburse you your court fees & lawyer costs. Request full custody & child support.
what about your husband legally adopting your daughter ?
Got to court and not ask Facebook.
Go to court not Facebook
I know the military have attorney they can help write a letter to the judge explain your situation maybe that can help you. Best of luck.
Have your husband set up an appointment with JAG they should be able to get you in touch with a lawyer that can help. How long is he supposed to be in Germany? It used to be 2 years if spouse and children go with. That’s not that long maybe you guys can split a plane ticket for her to visit while school is out. A judge will most likely side with you ! Good luck.
Most states have an age where the child can decide who he/she wants to live with and the judge normally sides with the child.
Family law varies by state. Consult with an attorney.
Go to court or you’ll have to stay behind with her …
Go to court she’s old enough to make that decision on her own
She is 13, it’s her choice who she’s lives with at that age. If you take it to court they are only going to ask the girl who she wants to live with and the judge will go with whatever the girl says
You will have to go to court. I’ve had to do this when moving out of state before. It’s a lengthy process, so I would get started right away. Consult with a family law attorney.
Go back to court. In CA, once children have reached 13 or 14, they are able to choose who they want to live with.
Court will tell the teenager to decide. Go to court.
Hire a family attorney who specializes in custody ASAP!
This is also a wonderful opportunity for her to learn. My prayers are with you and your family for a good outcome! Love and light vibes
I did this to move out of state, almost the same situation her dad wouldn’t sign but never saw her. I went to court and just told them why we were better off moving and he granted it. My child was only 10
You have to go to court. Get the process started. Foolish to mess with the father
Stop asking important questions on Facebook and deal with your lawyer
She’s 13 she has rights- she gets to tell the judge what she wants
Take it to court, absent parents don’t get full custody and you shouldn’t be trapped because this guy wants to play petty all of a sudden
Go back to court. At 13 she may not be old enough for the courts to let her fully decide on her own, but she is old enough to have her voice heard and her thoughts and feelings be taken into consideration
You’ll need to take him to court. But bear in mind the judge might not decide in your favor. While the courts can take the child’s wishes into consideration, there is no “magic age” where the kid gets to actually decide where they go. The court must always act in the child’s best interest.
Yikes. Maybe need a court ordered custody change expensive but she gotta go with you
Are you on any military facebook page where you live? Those women know the ins and out of the military. Also you can go on base and talk to legal or call and see what information they can give you. I would also call around to a family lawyer.
Get a lawyer and go to court. She’s old enough to speak for herself and with him never seeing/getting her the courts can change your custody order.
Take him back to court. She is old enough to choose
I would suggest to go back to court. The judge may take what she wants into consideration. Good luck
Court. She is getting to an age where she can have input or no?
I just had this happen. My fiancé got a job in Montana and wanted to move there but my oldest two have a different dad. I got my self a lawyer, gave her all the information about how he hasn’t been involved and it got approved for us to move there
Just go to court. At 13 the judge will ask her what she wants.
Im sorry to say but court and lawyer will be the best way to go
Strip him of custody rights
She’s old enough to say where she wants to live. Get a lawyer
Well here in the UK a child is old enough to decide where they want to live with aged 10
Go to court and get a residency order that gives him set visitations (that he won’t stick to) and then get on with your life… He sounds like a very silly man!
Your best bet is to get a lawyer and take him back to court.
At 13 the judge will listen to what she has to say. The fact that he is not really involved will also be a factor (it would be different if he was actually seeing her and keeping in contact).
She’s old enough that a judge will take her wants into consideration and chances are since he hasn’t really had anything to do with her as it is, they won’t fight the move.
Go to court she’s 13 she can tell the judge she wants to live with you…
You can ask the judge to grant relocation. Technically you aren’t supposed to move out of state without that anyway.
You take him back to court and you show proof he doesn’t have involvement.
Go to court. I have known a couple people in the same situation.
Hire an attorney and get it done. She is old enough to choose where she wants to live. I believe an attorney can get this done without you having to come back to the states for a hearing. Talk to a military attorney as well. There may be something the Army can do to streamline this situation
Sue him for full custody, that’s really the only thing you can do, then he cannot stop you from taking your daughter overseas if you want.
Let her petition the court
Isnt really fair to drag your daughter that far away from her Dad. Whether you think he is a deadbeat or not, He still has rights.
Go to court! Every state is different but I was able to make a choice at 15 with who I wanted to live with and I stayed with my step dad. Look into it for sure. Your daughter could even write up a letter as well explaining why she would rather move with you and why she would rather not be with her dad. It’s definitely worth a shot especially if her dad has nothing to do with her already
Take it to court she is old enough to speak on her behalf as to where she wants to be
I assume he’s on the birth certificate? If he’s not, you don’t have to get permission from him. My daughter is 13 and in 2013 my husband got orders to Okinawa Japan, since her sperm donor (she isn’t my hushand’s) isn’t on her birth certificate I didn’t have to ask his permission. I would go talk to legal on base if you can and get their opinion. Also, if worse comes to worse, your spouse should be able to deny orders (my husband is AF and said military can deny orders one time but the next ones, he MUST take).
Go back to court…I was always told by my lawyer if your moving to better and it has to do with work 99% of time it’ll be granted.
Court. If he’s not in his life your husband could adopt him but it’s going to be a heartbreaking experience. Good luck
Take him to court ,depending on where you live a kid as young as 12/13 can say where they want to live and who w and why.
Go to court the judge will ask her who she wants to live with she’s old enough to decide herself
Go to court ASAP. Good luck mama
I would file a motion with the court
If he pays child support tell him you will drop it if he signs papers for you to have full custody and get the passport.
Unfortunately, sounds like you’ll have to go back to court.
Take it to court. She is old enough to decide for herself where she lives.
Contact a family law attorney, get a consultation. I agree go back to court to ask for the right to move. Depending on state 13 might be old enough for your child to have a say.
she is old enough to decide whom she wants to live with, But if he does pay child support, he does have a say, I would get a lawyer & go to court & let the judge ask her what she wants.
Get a lawyer and go to court
Go call lawyer cause she can decide now
I’m not sure about where you live, but when we went through court there was an agreement made that we can’t move more than 100 miles from each other… unless we are moving to better ourselves and if the other doesn’t agree we have to take it to court and let the judge decide. Good luck Momma.
File in court for permission
File a motion to relocate
Petition the court. Children over 12 have a say in where they live.
It will depend on the judge, not all will listen to the children at that age. That being said file in court. If you have proof that he doesn’t exercise his visitation by his own choice and has not been an active part of her life, I highly doubt a judge would keep the child from going. Also make sure you have a plan regarding visitation if she moved abroad. Write out the vacations, summer. Perhaps offer to pay transportation. Something to show you’re being reasonable and not trying to keep the child away.
Sounds like you need to get in contact with the courts and let her speak. If you can’t afford a lawyer currently call legal aid.
She’s old enough in some states to decide where she wants to go
Legal aid should provide your daughter a lawyer
You just have to take it through the court.
It’s up to her to tell the judge what she wants. She is old enough to make the decision.
She’s 13? She’s old enough to speak in court. Take his ass to court.
A lawyer file a motion the judge will side with you if you have documentation that he doesn’t see her get her a GAL not sure what state but VA at 14 a child can speak to the judge herself if not the GAL will speak for her!!
Court. Sounds like he’s uninvolved in her life anyway and shouldn’t get a say. Your daughter is also old enough to talk to the judge.
Go to court. Especially if you are the primary parent, support the child financially and physically I believe you could win.
well being she is 13, she has a good chance of speaking up forself in court. honestly it best bet.
My husband is Army & we are currently in Germany. You are going to need to lawyer up & go to court. Sounds like he’s just wanting to be difficult especially if he’s hardly in her life now. I would go ahead tho & prepare to head to Germany after your husband though. Tell your husband to also let his sponsor know what’s going on with this situation. You will need to get EFMP done also if you haven’t already & I believe you can do that without her bio father interfering. There is no way around the passport though because you will need 2 of them one is the no-fee which allows you to live here & the 2nd is the travel so you can travel outside of Germany & visit other countries while here. You don’t have to have the tourist passport but you can’t go anywhere in the EU without it. You can DM if you have any other questions.
Take him to court, she’s old enough to tell a judge what she wants
Go to court. If he has no relationship with her and she’s 13 the courts will ask her.
Petition the courts. I’m assuming that since he doesn’t have much contact with her that he doesn’t see her often. You should be able to prove that. Take her to court with you. I know in Maryland, at 12 years old, a child can state who they want to live with and a judge will (usually) honor those wishes. You just need to have everything in order before you go before the judge. Prove that you and your husband have her nearly 100% of the time. Prove that you and your husband provide nearly/or 100% of her care, necessities and are her primary financial care.
Before that though, see about sitting down with her and her biological father. Let her express her wishes to him, and use any bargaining chip that you can. If he pays child support, offer to drop it if he consents to her passport/move.
I mean, if he doesn’t see her or have much of anything to do with her, he’s a dead beat dad. So if he’s paying child support, that may motivate him to cooperate.
My current husband wants to adopt my youngest daughter, from my ex husband, who hasn’t seen her in 5 years. The ex put up a fight about it, even though he has nothing to do with her. I finally said that if he wasn’t going ti have anything to do with her but didn’t want to let the man that is her father legally adopt her, that her biological father was at least going to pay child support. As soon as he got notice that I filed, he all to willingly signed the papers.
Well push come to shove you going to have to stay here with her, bc if you leave with that husband of yours and leave her here, you will be looked at by her as abandoning her.
You should file for child abandonment of the other parent, have proof he hasn’t seen her nor wanted to for blank amount of time and then file for full custody.
Petition the court with those facts.
You need a lawyer asap. I’m not sure if she can be command sponsored if she doesn’t have the other parents permission. You’ll prob be on the hook for all travel costs if you do get it. And if you don’t you have a decision to make do you stay with your children and he goes alone, he takes the shared children and you stay behind or everyone stays behind and he goes unaccompanied. It’s going to be a hard case so make sure youve been documenting.
Go to court. She’s 13, the judge will listen to what she has to say.
You’ll likely win. This makes me so sad. Hugs.
The courts will listen to her been there done that.
Go to court; the judge will ask the 13-year-old who he wants to go with and discuss that. It happened to a good friend of mine the father got the child in Germany from age 13 to 16 when the child decided to come back to their mom the out of state had to pay for all cost of the child travel back home for holidays so be prepared for the cost
Get a court order. At 13, he can’t force her to do anything.
And do it now.
Your husband can be a geographical bachelor but it’s a headache.