For the past year or so, I’ve been feeling very stressed about every single thing in my life. My daughter is almost 4, my husband (her bio dad), and I got married two months ago, and with the holidays and day to day activities, I feel beyond stressed and feel like I’m constantly yelling at everyone. My husband tries his best to help me, and my daughter is a great kid, but some days I feel like I’m constantly yelling! Everything I do ends up feeling like a chore or turns into an argument. Going to the grocery store, any kind of outing, or when anyone comes over, I feel like I’m constantly the one doing everything, or I end up mad. I work 40 hours a week, and so does my husband with occasional OT. My in-laws are great and watch our daughter while we work, but even going to pick her up after work some days when my husband works late seems like such a draining task. It’s not that I don’t want to do things, especially for my husband and daughter, but most days I feel like I’m at my breaking point. My husband wants to try for baby number 2, and I’m scared that I’m going to become a mom that can’t handle it. So I guess my question is, are there things you busy mamas do to relieve stress? Or any tips to remain calm, so I’m not constantly blowing up at everyone? I’m usually a very patient person, especially with my kid, but some days It’s like talking to a brick wall, and I feel like no one hears me unless I’m yelling or raising my voice
You sound depressed. I’d make an appointment with your doctor.
Please seek help from a professional. Sometimes as Moms, we think we’re dealing with past stress but we just push it aside. Our bodies continue to deal with the stress, that’s why we feel tired and overwhelmed all the time. This sounds more like anxiety. I went through the same thing.
Call your dr , sounds like you need something before you jump into another pregnancy
Ps been there, you will feel better , call the dr
I do yoga classes and meditation and meet up with friends once a week just to unwind
See a doc. I find breathing exercises, exercise, massage and music help me.
Take a day to yourself…
Are you in a legal state? You need some marijuana. I promise itll help
Honestly have you took a pregnancy test?
Councling. I write in my journal. I go to store alone and just walk around or walk outside if it’s nice. I’ll clean. Big thing I started doing want breath. Take a spilt secto think bout what u say… Say it in your head to see if it’s appropriate or not… Works for me. Just advice for u… Good luck…
Depression and youre on overdrive. Always hard you need a break even if a weekend
It could be Post partum anxiety.
Ashwaganda from the health food store is a natural stress apdogen, also, turmeric capsules
Make sure you take some time for yourself. Maybe get a massage. If that helps mayne schedule one for every other week or even omce/month.
Sounds like your depressed. I’d go to the dr and explain how you feel.
Read, take walks, see if the grandparents will keep her for a night. Try to do somethimg that relaxes you. Get some self-care in. this mama thing is hard.
Sounds like depression and/or anxiety. Your first step would be therapy, creative release (journaling, coloring, drawing, etc), and regular exercise. Make sire to take time for yourself, get a massage, get your nails or hair done, whatever makes you feel pampered and happy.
If you want to try herbs ashwagandha, passionflower, and kava are my go-tos.
Sounds like depression, seek help from a professional. Also if you’re always doing for everyone and never have true time to yourself you can get overwhelmed with it all… maybe take a weekend to yourself, get a mani pedi, have a girls day, catchup with friends… and get yourself in order before you have another baby
Depression medication is a trap, seek solace in meditation or exercise.
You have to MAKE yourself slow down and take time for yourself. That’s what I have to do. I try so hard to handle everything myself and do everything perfectly and I always end up resentful and hateful towards my family. The past couple months I’ve just kind of had to make myself let go of the housework (reasonably) and let go of my expectations of myself which are way too high. Everyone needs alone time and time to do things that nourish them as an individual apart from being a mother. I feel you though! It’s super frustrating feeling like you’re the only one that does anything at home.
I got medicine and it helped a ton , I didn’t realize how stressed and drained I really was until I finally felt normal again
Go see if you have anxiety that could be why you flip or get stressed easy maybe when kid in bed get yourself a nice bath ready and if legal in your state marijuana can help
Oh my god girl I feel the exams that same way. So so unheard and it’s stressful and depressing. I hate how much I yell but no one listens unless I end up screaming to get their attention. Even my fiancé. He’s worse than the kids really.
Are you depressed? Maybe you need to talk to a doctor and explain how you feel. You may just be overwhelmed, so every little thing feels huge. Talk to your doctor!
I was this same way, I was diagnosed with depression. Got some meds and it turned everything around. Please talk to a dr before it gets worse.
I find that working out helps
Could this be post partum depression? You need to talk to your pcp & maybe get some meds for either depression or anxiety.
My first thought was to smoke a joint lol
If you can smoke some weed
If possible and finances allow… I suggest cutting down to part time hours. Sounds like you’re overworking yourself and need more time to yourself instead of trying to cram 500 responsibilities into a 24hr day… Day after day… Jaclyn Salgado I agree with you
Also sounds like you need some you time to decompress. Try to let go of some things like I found that cooking stresses me out so every now and then I have a cheat day so I don’t have to cook so much. Or cleaning I save it for at night or the next day and a messy house doesn’t bother me haha as long as I get to it.
If you can get a part time job for a while do it. Set time for you and hubby like a date night.
Take a really long bubble bath.
Tell yourself you control your emotions and how you react so maybe you won’t yell so much
Make sure you take time for yourself girl. That’s a must! Or you’ll feel completely overwhelmed. I know that feeling. It led to me getting depressed because i was so stressed out! You have to also take care of yourself. Try yoga or meditation. See your doctor. Anything that can can help you calm yourself.
Sounds like you might need some extra iron and B vitamjns.
I clean… cause its the exact same thing over here but I have 3 children and my husband usually behaves like the 4th. I work 40 hours a week and my youngest is a bit different with her mental developement so its very hard when the other so called adult ignores her triggers and just upsets the shit out of her.
The house is always a disaster and if I start the cleaning everyone but me stays in calm attitude mode but if he starts the cleaning its like WW3 and his mouth runs non stop about how he’s always the one doing everything(which is bs) and it becomes so nerve racking to even step foot around his bitchy ass
Im finacially always stressed because he f**ks us over with his retarded unnecessary spending instead of being responsible…
Girl… smoke a joint/have some wine and do a task that calms you the most that is all I can advise
Unfortunately, that’s the life that society has created, not all of us are sheeple and able to keep up with the daunting amount of responsibilities, outings, social gathering, work, chores, relationship responsibilities, teaching, parenting, cleaning, driving, keeping up our own appearances, doctors visits, dentists, cooking, ect… as a mother of 3 children, I am constantly asking myself if I am doing enough, are the kids in enough sports, craft classes, music classes, dance classes, helping 3 children with an hours worth of homework every night, driving them to 2 different schools everyday, going to work, cooking healthy dinners, cleaning up, doing laundry daily, I am a firm believer that society has placed far greater demands on mothers than most can take. You are not alone, I would suggest an hour a day of pure and utter QUIET, no interruptions, we all need peace and most do not get it. An hour a day where you are able to be completely quiet and either sleep, take a hot bath, read, or meditate, or even just sit in silence and eat a peice of chocolate cake… anything where no one and nothing is disturbing you, and you have quiet. An hour a day and if that seems or is laughable or impossible to some, then that speaks volumes about how right I really am… we are not meant to work tirelessly for 50 years and then die… our lives have meaning and our souls seek peace and fulfillment. There is no shame in taking time for yourself. No shame at all.
Girl you need to have some hot sweaty bomb ass sex. Take some time for yourself because if you lose who you are before a mother and wife you’ll fall into serious depression. Have great sex, smoke a bowl/drink a glass of wine, read a book, try to find a hobby you enjoy. Take a walk, hang out with friends, go out to dinner. Just some ideas of things you could do.
Take up a boxing or yoga class and talk to your doctor
Exercise! I workout every single day and it is my me time and also gives me more energy to get through the day. Another benefit is I feel better about my body, which makes me feel better mentally. I pay for the beach body workouts so I can do them at home and there are tons to choose from. It is an outlet for me
Sounds like you have depression. Go to see a doctor
My advise to u is dont yell, remember shes just a little one and she doesnt understand why u so stressed, why dont u and your husband have a date night, related, i know life is hard, maybe have u mom keep the little one on the weekend to give u a break.
So I feel you on so many levels I was to my Breaking Point as well and I had to find something that I could do with just me and that ended up being sweat lodges not only do they relieve enormous amount of stress but they help you heal from things you didn’t even know hurt
I love how people are commenting she is getting stressed out “easily” or “every little thing is bothering” her, maybe she has anxiety, maybe she is depressed, maybe she needs to see a therapist… ummmm, no, no, no… society has added so many things on a mothers plate and if you are able to keep up with every single thing and not get stressed out you are odd, in my opinion, we are not meant to get 5 hours of sleep and work 50 hours a week, cook healthy amazing dinners, keep our houses spotless, have a girls night, go to craft class, take our children to and from school/daycare, do laundry, keep our husbands happy, go shopping, plan play dates, ect… ect… ect… every single day of the week and not be stressed out… that’s TOOOOOO much!!! Either some of your houses look like pig stys, or you do not cook every night, or you do not work 50 hours a week, or you aren’t having sex with your husband 3-4 nights a week, or your legs aren’t perfectly shaved, your nails aren’t done, you do not have lunch or dinner with your friends every week, your kids aren’t in any sports or dance classes, you do not help them with homework or read a book 30 minutes every night, you do not go to church every Sunday,… there is SOMETHING(s) you all who are commenting that are NOT doing, and so maybe you have no idea why she feels so stressed out, women (like myself) who are extremely busy every single day, get overwhelmed and it is completely normal, the weirdos are the ones who think they have to be go, go, go and keep a smile on their face or they are depressed or have anxiety or are easily triggered. That’s totally false and should never be told to someone else, what society expects us to do is way too much. And I bet none of you do it all… and if you did, you would see what stressed out looks like.
I feel this but for me i needed a chill moment. With that though my kids straight up ignore me until I get loud and my fiance I swear isn’t hearing me any more either. I got my downtime from surgery and it was absolutely needed.
You’re a mom and wife, but you’re also a woman. Women need time to be themselves, away from the other roles. Go out with friends, get a mani-pedi, a massage or a new hobby. You need something that is just for you.
If you’re already losing your nuggets, dont try to have another right now. Get some organization and routine in your life then try. A little structure and stability (even mental) goes a long way.
Have you heard of cannabis moms… my personal intake on it it makes my day-to-day tasks a lot easier to maintain I’m a first-time mom with a 16-month old
Pay for someone to clean your house (to start the decompression process) ask your in-laws to take her for the weekend and use that time to self build. a strong routine and organized home is an easier way to go (if you aren’t already). I found a clean house, organization ( prepped meals, simplification of house, toys etc) and deep breaths helped me with the yelling when I worked… I’m a stay at home mom now and happier for it… my kids Don’t get “yelling” mommy anymore.
Are you getting enough sleep? Sometimes my daughter goes on stretches where she wakes up a lot so that makes me exhausted and so cranky. Also try to get all your fruits and vegetables in. My body list feels so much better when I’m snacking on those things as apposed to chips and candy. Tske care of your body and itll tske care of you!
Sometimes I just kinda remove myself from the room or even the house. I’ll just go sit by myself for a few minutes and try to calm my nerves. I take my time too bc we deserve a few good moments of peace lol. You are not alone !
Exercise and make sure you are having a healthy diet. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people do diet and exercise and it causes a 180
You have depression and anxiety by sounds. Go see your doc asap
Yes!!! Smoke a joint sister and calm down…
So I learned times like that, I have to do something for myself that makes ME happy, and forget about everyone else and my responsibilities. I go out to the beach, hike trails, take pictures, get my nails done, get a massage, etc. something for just me where I can clear my head and focus on me relaxing and being happy, with no obligations to anyone else. You need self care. You can not pour from an empty cup. You need to find you, and find what makes you happy.
- When you have certain expectations on how you think things should go and then they don’t… here comes avoidable stress. Become as flexible as you can in your expectations. 2. Talk to your SO and take baby number 2 off the table till you find a way to cope and find your peace again. 3. See if SO will pick up the kids after work so you have a little down time and once or twice a week take time for you while SO is at his moms picking you the baby. A quiet bath, or a trip to a favorite store or just 45 min of quiet time before they come home. I had my SO take the baby on a walk while I made dinner and it was 45 minutes of calm and quiet and that was what I needed. 4. Make a plan you and your SO agree to and stick with it. Maybe he needs some time every now and then too. Communication is the key.
U need time off girl, see doctor or someone that can help. Dont even think about another baby right now.
Quit your job. I know it sounds devastating but think of the little things you could live without. As long as you have a roof over your head, food on the table and clothes to wear. I went back to work 2 years ago and have been on winter break this week and I feel so carefree, if it weren’t for the car breaking down over the summer and having to get a new one I probably would quit working.
Maybe you need to speak to a therapist & go on from there
Have you asked any one to help? Some men don’t think to offer help because they think we are handling things… I see the house differently… What’s a pig sty to me is liveable to my partner… he’d rather we sit together at the end of the day and relax and sometimes doesn’t understand that when things aren’t tidied it’s hard for me to relax… If you ask for specific help from him I think it would help alot
I’m hearing you
I put relaxing music on in my car on days like this …
a neighbour once said to me
“ your kids never listen until you raise your voice “
You’re working too many hours & burning the candle at both ends …remember you need some time to yourself…x
This sounds like a little more than just being stressed. It sounds like burnout and/or depression.
I personally would advise trying to see a counselor first, make sure there are no underlying issues for your feelings.
If not. Do. Something. Fun.
Take your kid and your husband and do something fun. Plan a day trip and be in the moment of it. Watch their faces. Watch your kid light up at something new and exciting. Watch your husband watch your kid with pride. Remember that you love them.
Take the next day “off” hang out in your room in your jammies. Watch a movie that’s inappropriate to watch around a child (i always pick a good horror flick:)). Snack. Nap. Read a book. Work on a craft project. Whatever you want.
I feel like I wrote this myself. Ahah
I’ve learned to stop putting so much on the plate for example my family and I had activities every Saturday and Sunday but I realized sometimes it’s best we all stay home and rest maybe just one family activity every other weekend stay home… relax.
I hope you can get some relief!
Put the kid in pre school or day care, and take a day to yourself…
It sounds like you need a vacation. Take off of work for a few days, arrange everything so kids are taken care of, go stay in a hotel for a few days and leave your phone behind. You don’t even have to go far, or leave the hotel. Just take a few days, to eat, sleep, pamper, be lazy.
That’s me when I’m PMS-ing. But that’s also me when my Anxiety Disorder is out of whack. My medicine is strength training. It really helps me and I’ve loved it for many years (before my baby came around). I don’t always have perfect days, but I’m doing a lot better. When I stopped exercising postpartum, I started spiraling down because my Anxiety was taking over. What did you used to do to destress before you had your daughter?
You may have post natal depression, talk to your dr or your midwife if still in the picture good luck
Go get yourself some help stop taking it out on the whole family help you deserve the help are you going to yourself
What makes you happy? Do that! Make time for it. Schedule a massage (if you have coverage, this works out wonderfully) once a month, even if it’s only a half hour. Remember to do things for yourself. For me, I love to get my hair done or go to my local spa (across the street from me, so handy) and treat myself to get my brows done or have my nails done, doesn’t have to be extravagant. I try to do something for myself that doesn’t involve husband or kids, to keep my sanity and remind me that I’m still me.
Also, lower your expectations about events and outings, remember that it isn’t the end of the world when things don’t go as planned.
Smoke a joint was mentioned, lol.
Get to a doctor, it sounds like you have depression and/or anxiety, which can be treated (coming from someone with both, trust me get help, it will do wonders).
You need a break, and probably a therapist and meds. You sound depressed. When you aren’t getting enough serotonin or dopamine in your system, things that were once easy or enjoyable are now a burden. Even if you never liked doing those things, if you didn’t constantly feel overwhelmed, that’s the depression. If you’re tired all the time, that’s depression. If you have body aches you think are just from aging or sleeping wrong, that’s depression. It works it’s way into our lives so smoothly sometimes that you don’t notice it. It’s not all sobbing and sleeping 20 hours a day. It’s as simple as not enjoying life like you used to. It’s feeling stressed even though life is pretty much been like this for years. See your doctor. Even if it’s not depression, they can point you in a direction. And don’t let anyone dismiss you either. If you’re certain a couple days off won’t make this go away, then it’s more than just exhaustion and you need help. So make sure you get it. That’s what it sounds like to me anyway, as someone who’s been there.
Go for a walk. Exercise. It’s the best think you can do. And take a day for you.
Seek help for depression immediately
Depression Hon. Doctors appointment. I went the opposite never talked was suicidal twice. I went for help after I had a break down at work. Thankfully I had excused myself from the meeting before it happened. Had so much anxiety and being in the room with people just hit me. Made an appt with a doctor for after work that day. Was on two meds for a while then the anti-depressants only. You need some help consult your doctor ASAP!! Not everyone knows what it is like but we do. We have been through it. I still take antidepressants.
Seek help I did see a councillor and do medication if need be it dose help
I feel this so much.
I would talk to your doctor, everyone says weed, but for some people with anxiety weed can amplify it, I absolutely could not handle weed after having kids, so just be careful.
I think you have lost sight of the good things in your life. So here is a thing I gave found that helps me. Get a note book. Everyday write in it 3 things you are greatfull for. Like today I wrote…
1.) I’m greatfull to have a roof over my head.
2.) I’m greatfull for my friends.
3.) I’m greatfull for another day that I’m not on oxygen.
These things may not sound like much, but in my world they are everything.
Doing this helps one focus on the good things in life. If you have a husband who trys to help you, that is more than many have. And in-laws who babysit, that’s awesome. And you have a job and I’m assuming your husband does too. I always had a job, I had 3 kids, had to get rid of the jobless abuseive husband, the in-laws never helped us, not even a birthday card. From what you wrote you have so much to be thankful for and you have lost sight of it.
Take. A. Break. And let others help you, even if they do it “wrong.”
You need a respite. Something you do at least once a week that is totally for you… massage, facial, mani/pedi… I myself find the gym to be my place of zen. You need something that is totally for you, that pampers you. If you can’t afford something like that, find a local trail and walk for an hour or so a day. The solitude will help you relax and focus… good luck.
Talk to your doctor about Anxiety and depression. It is a real thing. There is such a stigma on mental health, however it is so important. Best wishes to you!!
I wonder how you’re sleeping. I lived like this for a couple years before recognizing I was not sleeping enough. Im so vulnerable to emotional break downs when I’m tired. You sound exhausted.
I was the same. I signed up for therapy, I have ptsd, clinical depression, and severe anxiety. It helps to get help.
You need to talk to your husband and see if he can’t do more for you. I know you get into this hole. Don’t worry I’m sure things will work out. Try to have a night out with the girls. It really does help. Good luck
you should try Kava-kava. Its a herb that gelps with stress and anxiety. I took it for about a year, off aand on. It saved my relationship and my own well being.
Do you think it may be depression?
It sounds like you have a stable life and love your family. We can all get overwhelmed and go through phases where we are low on patience and snap at those we love.
This sounds like some depression. By the way, sometimes we don’t have a particular reason to be depressed. It could be a spiritual problem. Check your heart. Look for things to be grateful for every single day. When you begin to feel like this, stop and look around you. Specifically take notice of all the good things you can be grateful for and give thanks to the one who has given you all these things. I hope this helps!!
You will stop this feelings and behavior because it simply does NOT SERVE YOU. You will stop because it only PERPETUATES the life you are not loving. You will stop because you will wake up and start doing everything with LOVE and feel Blessed, even as you scrub a toilet! Why? Because you will start to notice that this is the path to getting the life you want. DO EVERYTHING WITH LOVE. Make wishes of what you want of others and smile. Your beautiful VIBE will start changing your entire life experience!! You will see manifestations of this new Love you are putting out!!! Try it!!! It has to be for real, though! You can’t fake love! Doing everything with anger will just keep poisoning your life. You hold so much power over the direction your family goes. You are the thermostat of the family. Be a woman with wisdom. Like attracts like. What are you teaching your children? Rethink and be grateful. (Problems can be addressed medically, mentally, spiritually, so this is just a part if it. Approach it from every area.)
Sounds like you need some counseling. You admittedly have a good kid and a helpful husband. Do you know how many people would kill for that?
You need a break sometimes, no matter how much you love them. Get your nails done every two weeks, grab coffee with a girlfriend, or just go window shopping alone for an hour. It can help you a lot, even for an hour or so a week. If you try relieving stress and it doesn’t work, talk to your doctor.
And be perfectly honest with your husband that a baby is not the best thing right now.
Holidays make things more stressful, but have a talk with hubby about how you feel. What I mean by that is besides the feeling of being stressed but maybe there is something(s) that maybe you and him can do the night before to make the next morning easier…set clothes out to be worn, lunches to be premade. Let him know what would help you out to not be stressed. Now for something you can do is take a walk or find a small hobby to pick up…coloring, painting.
Sounds more like depression. I would find a Christian counselor or speak to your pastor
It is hard to work full time and be a Mom and Wife. I do not know what your living situation was before you got married. I advise you to talk to your husband and tell him your concerns and look for ways to bring peace to your family. Trade off on chores, make for less stressful activities. Go to others homes or meet somewhere so you can relax and enjoy the time rather than play the hostess. A quite voice can be more effect and will also help you remain calm and in control.
Whatever you r doing slow down get some alone time and do what you like sometimes we feel very stressed and and feel very lonely like we can’t handle it anymore maybe you are tired or physically not feeling fine I don’t think it’s yelling it’s just we need to be heard and maybe attention
My stress and anxiety manifests itself as anger. I hate taking meds, and while I realize it’s very helpful to some, it’s not for me, yet. The only thing that keeps my stress and anxiety in check are regular therapy appointments, and journaling. I just have to get it out…but not in an angry way, at the people who love and support me the most.
Sounds like you need a break girl! Not time away from the kids and everything to go to work… That’s not the same thing as a break for you to so what you want! Get you a break girl!
Adult coloring, crafts, any hobby you love all work. Put on your favorite music and do the things you love?, it helps me a lot!
I thought I was lazy and was exhausted all the time, turns out I had iron defincy anemia and low B12. Get some blood work done and check those. Also talk to your doctor about how you feel, you might need something for depression or anxiety.
Please talk to your doctor and be very open and honest. Do not be ashamed! Mental illness is real and it does not discriminate. Please don’t delay. People take meds when they have a sinus infection but wanna tell someone who needs depression or anxiety meds to “get over it”. Your cry for help is past due! Take care of YOU so you can take care of your family and don’t worry about what others think or say.
Ok …breathe …de. Stress …by all means no more babies until you find a way to de stress . are you getting enough vit d ? Find some ways that you can de clutter your life . how about an excercise class . yoga . a walking group. Or start one . pare down the non essential things that so often try to overtake your free time . the pta… Or volenteer things . make time for you . seems like you already feel overwhelmed. Work out a schedule . as my mom once said rome wasnt built in a day . relax your mnd . do the best you can .trust everything will take care of itself. You need to seriously unwind
Take a day go away just you I get a cabin when I’m that stressed after a day of just me I’m ready for my family
this was me to a T. I saw my pcp and was put on an anti depressant. I feel much better. I still have my moments, but my mood swings arent as bad.
See someone about depression. It’s real and a big deal this time of year. Run - don’t walk. You will be amazed at how well you can feel.
Supplement magnesium and consider lithium orotate supplement (naturally occurring in the body and sold on Amazon).
Have your thyroid checked.