Hi, can you post anonymously? A friend lost her baby due to pregnancy complications. What does anyone recommend sending or do for her? I can imagine that she doesn’t want visitors. Thank you
52 Likes
So sweet of you <3 Maybe gift her a plant so it grows and she constantly has it
Honestly the best thing you can do is be there for her. Check on her frequently. Make sure she is taking care of herself. Times like this people stop taking care of their basic needs like showering, laundry. Just be there for her. Don’t need to say anything just let her know you are there for her no matter what the good the bad the ugly.
8 Likes
Everyone is so different. When I lost a baby I had people give me things with angels on them and dolls etc and it was honestly very overwhelming at the time. I know they had good intentions but I would have preferred to have been left alone to let me have time to just grieve my way. But not everyone is the same.
9 Likes
Agree with the being there for her, but if you want to get her something maybe a gift card for a meal service (like hello fresh or something).
2 Likes
A visit at the spa hair and nails.
When I lost my son the thing I appreciated the most were meal deliveries for my family and other children. Also maybe see if Molly Bears offers a gift card so you can pay that fee for them. Molly Bears are extremely helpful in dealing with the loss.
2 Likes
Visit and hold her. Listen to her talk or cry. Speak of her child often. Molly bears on fb. Held your whole life on fb.
Honestly, maybe make a meal and take it to her and just check on her occasionally.
When my oldest daughter passed away I wanted to be left alone, didn’t want gifts or tons of people calling or visiting.
3 Likes
Meals for sure or snacks maybe even some protein shakes so if she’s lost her appetite she can still get some nutrients, tissues, fuzzy socks or comfy clothes, maybe some kind of fluffy blanket or pillow that would be cozy to lay with, maybe buy her a book or two or if she’s more into movies do that
Just let her know you’re there for her, whatever she needs. Let her tell you
Never been in that situation but I don’t think I would want anything or anyone bothering me for sometime. I’m somewhat a social person but only when I want to be and in a position like that I’d just want to be left alone. Maybe send her some flowers and a fruit basket.
2 Likes
Did she have a name picked out for the baby? If so, maybe do the star registry and have a star 
named after the baby.
8 Likes
I just wanted to be alone when I lost my baby. I didn’t want to see anyone.
2 Likes
Comfort things, snacks, meals, toiletries, your support and give her space
Ive been through this myself and my friends got together and gave me a gift card to get my hair done and brought me flowers. I appreciated that sooooo much, they wrote a little letter in the card to which I thought was very thoughtful. It was exactly what I needed for a little pick me up… although just knowing they were there for me would have been enough! Hugs to your friend 
4 Likes
I lost a baby due to pregnancy complications and only 1 person acknowledged it and sent a card .
Send her a msg saying you’re sorry for her loss and that you’re there if she needs someone to call . I think most people didn’t know what to say to me so they didn’t say anything at all . Just knowing that someone is there if you need to chat or cry is really special .
4 Likes
A premade meal she just needs to heat up. Offer to clean her house, do laundry, walk the dog, take care of her other kids, be a shoulder to cry on.
2 Likes
Anything! I just lost my baby boy on March 24th. Check on her let her speak her mind even if it doesn’t make sense. It’s important. Cards, flowers, food, memotones (blankets with baby name, statues, stuffed animals) for her loss, and anything that could help her feel better in general about herself. No matter if complications it is very hard not to blame yourself and then in turn depression sets in and then it’s hard to do anything for yourself. At the hospital they do SO much for us. An organization that helps when you lose a baby sends huggable size bears to give out to the families. I found myself like a little girl all over again finding comfort with sleeping with the bear in the hospital that I felt was connected with my baby.
2 Likes
Take her some treats. Visit for a bit and while you’re there do a load or two of laundry; wash dishes; clean the bathroom …
Do some housework at her house. Cook some food and baking. Hug her and let her talk to you.
Everyone is so different.
Grieving is weird, let her know you’re there and that you’ll give her a few days before reaching out again.
Sometimes it comes from a good place but all the gifts and too much calls/text can make it so much more difficult.
While sometimes people need that constant comfort from their loved ones.
Be delicate and not too much. Let her guide you, really pay attention.
You are a sweet friend
2 Likes
I went through this three times. Everyone avoided me and I felt alone. It’s like they never wanted to mention it like I was supposed to forget about it. When all I wanted was at least one person to talk to about it. It’s something I can’t forget. I know their intentions were good but for me, I wanted to remember because they were my babies. So sometime just being there to talk to would have been enough for me.
5 Likes
Gift cards for delivery services/ a basket of snacks she likes. Check on her, let her know you’re thinking of her♡
1 Like
Just be there. All I wanted when we lost our baby was a friend who just be there with me while I vented yelled cried
Nothing… A simple card if anything at all.
Don’t do anything more.
I’ve lost four, at all different stages of my pregnancies and I just wanted to be alone and not talk about it with anyone, but my husband.
Trust me on this.
If she wants to talk about it with you, she will bring it up.
If she wants something to remember her child, she’ll get it.
I had a friend get a windchime after she lost her baby and she really loved it. She said she thinks of her sweet baby everytime the wind blows. It thought that was really sweet
5 Likes
Give her your open heart. When she’s ready, it will help the most. Trust me.
I received the best chocolate cake I’ve ever tasted (Costco) a pair of slippers socks, some body spray & lotion. Some self care stuff to make your friend feel a lil better. I’ve passed on the best chocolate cake to a friend I think she appreciated it
Just be their don’t say your sorry don’t bring anything baby related up just give her a hug if you normally did that just to make her smile or laugh if you absolutely wanna bring something bring her favorite candy or ice cream if she offers you to come in just be the friend you used to be don’t look at her any different and definitely do not show you feel sorry for her that will make it worse everyone kept telling me I’m so sorry for you and kept pitying me and it made it so much worse
Also absolutely never say it wasn’t meant to be or you can always try for another that absolutely is heart full and will just make her even more hurt or angry at everything
1 Like
Offer to help around the home, ice creme chocolate, home cooked food so she can have time to heal mentally and physically without having to worry about the house etc
1 Like
The best gift I received after my miscarriage with a small birthstone pendant for the month my baby would have been born. It’s a simple gentle reminder of the baby I lost and while I was grieving I found it very comforting to have something physical that represented my baby without bringing up too many questions from people when I wasn’t comfortable talking about it.
8 Likes
My oldest daughter’s aunt got me this when I lost my youngest daughter. I lost her in a very traumatic way at 34 weeks along. Engraved inside says “God has you in his arms, I have you in my heart.”
I’m not necessarily a religious person but that quote sits with me everyday. I always wear it everywhere and I absolutely love it.
Make her foods! Make her stuff that’ll give her left overs or that she can pick at. The last thing she’ll probably do is want to eat but at least she can have easy little things to keep her nutrients up.
2 Likes
Honestly the best thing I ever got was a few loving texts from my best friend that she was thinking of me, loved me, and reminding me that I didn’t need to reply to her just know that she was there. It took away the pressure being told that I didn’t need to respond but still felt supported.
Just be there for her. She may not want to talk but keep checking on her. Take her lunch. I’ve been there. Her mind isn’t grounded. She doesn’t even know what she needs. Hugs, taking time out to be there. Listen. Let her cry. Sit there in silence. Send her a letter telling her what she means to you. I think that was one of the most remembered things for me. Someone who took the time out just depend me a personal letter and put it in the mail. It didn’t focus on what happened. It focused on me and just random silly things and heartfelt things and I remember it and keep it tucked away to this day and that was 28 years ago
I had lost many before I had my two daughter’s… I was sent a little statue’s from a family member for every one… it was always something baby like and has a hanging trinket… I love them. Just a little reminder that they did exist and how much I still love them. Simple is always best.
1 Like
Just be there for her! There is nothing you can do or say to make her feel better. Let her cry and just be there.
Maybe just send food…cooked or takeout so she doesn’t have to cook at this time…Understand she needs time. Maybe in a few weeks offer to rake her out sonewhere,but dont push too hard if she says isn’t ready.
1 Like
A comfort basket…
Nothing! Just be there for her, that’s all.
Don’t just assume she doesn’t want visitors… sometimes people like being close with a friend when they’re going through something traumatic. The only way to figure out what she needs of you it’s just to ask her. She doesn’t expect you to guess, she would really appreciate you just asking her what you can do for her. If it’s space she needs, she’ll tell you. If you need to be her shoulder to cry on she’ll tell you that too. Just be there for her in any way she is comfortable.
Some sweets, a good book, a candle, a comfy blanket, a mug and some specialty hot chocolate.
4 Likes
I donated a Cuddle Cot and bought the gravestone for her baby. It depends on how close you are, and your financial situation. We are very close. 
3 Likes
This book for grieving mothers. Get her a few, so that she may gift others.
1 Like
send her some flowers and tell her how sorry u are
Yes I like the good idea make things easier for her
Send food or offer to cook etc
Something that will show that her baby did exist. Like a necklace with the baby’s name engraved.
6 Likes
Chocolate, slippers, some face masks, a comfy blanket, maybe a cute mug? Self care stuff!
Let her talk and cry. When my baby was stillborn I pretty much cried for a year. Be empathetic. A support group helped me a lot but its not for everyone
A gift card for food so she can grieve and not have to worry about cooking food
1 Like
A simple card saying you are thinking of her and your ready to do a lunch or what ever she needs . Maybe get her a soft blanket and pj,s for comfort.
1 Like
All of these comments are so thoughtful, great ideas, just lovely.
I had a stillborn baby, and in my experience… I just wanted to talk about her. I felt like I was in a crowd of people saying “we don’t know what to do or say and it’s awkward” or it seemed they were trying to help me by distracting or overwhelm me by constant baby related things. And the one that just ruffled my feathers the most and crushed my soul was “god needed her” I NEEDED HER. I get it, it was all with good intentions but it spun me further into a spiral. I came home with empty arm and broken heart syndrome. My world was just completely shattered. The thing about grieving a child loss is… we never were prepared to do so in our entire lives. We are semi prepared for what happens to our older family… but nobody’s child should ever pass before them. And the preparing for a baby and instead a funeral. It’s just… world shattering. She doesn’t even know how to feel completely I’m sure. I was a in shock for a long time. But honestly what I needed was flat out someone to be there, cry with me, let me talk about her because she was real. She was my world. I needed someone to be there through my motions. When I couldn’t get out of bed I needed a friend to lay in bed with me and bring snacks or food and watch Netflix when I didn’t want to think, I needed someone to make me laugh, I needed someone to listen, and just ride my waves with me. And I did get that eventually and I grieved and felt what I needed to. I read a book someone gifted me in desperate need to figure out this pain. And really it just helped to feel those waves and emotions.
My mother lost two children horrifically and nobody watered her grief and took the time. And it killed her. It completely shifted her as a person. She is mean, and miserable, traumatized, unhinged, and unhealed completely. Because she had no support. Or healthy support. I wish I was older when it happened so I could have helped before she was far gone. Things were sadly different back then and people just wanted you to “move on”. Or they just didn’t know how to come at it with empathy. Idk but I wish it were different.
I really hope she heals and grieves the best she can and knows that it’s okay to feel however she feels. 
I had a friend that wanted to see pictures, that wanted to know about everything, that cried with me, that assured me she was so beautiful and I was a wonderful mom, etc. and it really just lifted me as well
11 Likes
I asked my friend if it was okay to get her a gift before buying anything as I didn’t want to overwhelm her and her partner. She said yes but I didn’t have too - but I named a star after the baby for them both and then a little necklace with the stone colour for the month that she lost the baby. It had a little hidden message under the disc. She was forever grateful and liked the idea of a star being named after her baby xx
8 Likes
After one of my losses my sister sent me the most beautiful silver earrings to remember my babies by. I wear them every day without fail. They’re one of the most precious things I own. Ask if she wants visitors also, sometimes you just need someone to be with you. Xxx
Anything sweet will always lighten up a person’s mood but that depends on what kind of sweets she will like. Random texts messages asking about her day and letting her know you’re there.
Go on Amazon order the book Loved Baby, it is soul comforting and will touch her heart. Its only $11 but will be priceless her. I still read mine.
Get her into Slumberkins. They are aimed for children but many adults use them as well. They have a sprite for grief/loss. They are such sweet little stuffed animals that help manage your emotions. One of my friends lost her twin boys early on and was gifted two sprites. They helped her tremendously.
Just a teddy bear with baby’s name on it or necklace with babys name engraved to show her that her baby did exist and somthing special to remember them by 
Send them dinner or take them dinner she will not be wanting to cook, and be there for her. If she has other children take them for the night so she can relax. That’s what I would’ve wanted when I lost my baby.
2 Likes
My daughter was born still and my best friend got me new pajamas and a small basket with slippers and other goodies. I personally did not want to talk about it yet as I was still traumatized. Don’t ask someone whos been through a loss to “call you if they need anything”. Just show up, order food, put things on her porch. Tell her if she wants company, don’t ask. Say “I’m coming over with dinner, is that ok?” Just having someone sit with you is all you want. Eventually she will open up but if she doesn’t, watch a movie. Have a dinner night where you bring the food or just drop it off. Don’t ask, just do. Only ask if she’s up for company.
13 Likes
If you live close and are a close friend go. Show up tell her how sorry you are hug her and ask her how you can help. Then keep checking on her she may not call you for what she needs but if you keep checking and asking how to help she won’t feel like a burden to you. Just don’t say God has a plan, because I would have literally lost my mind if one more person had said that to me. Praying for your friend have gone through it and would not wish it on my worst enemy. So agree with Grace Savvy above.
1 Like
Did you ask if she doesn’t want visitors? She may need someone other than her husband to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. I was only 5 weeks when I lost a twin. I would have given anything for company that day since my husband had to go to work. My support system was too far away to visit and it was too hard to talk on the phone. Even is she doesn’t want to talk having physical company can go a long way. You could grab her drinks, and snacks so she doesn’t have to think about her physical needs.
1 Like
Be there for her. I drew this for a family member who lost her baby last year and she said it was an amazing way to honor her lost baby since then i had to draw several more for other people who lost theirs.
I lost my baby august of 2020. I was having a very hard time dealing. I took a 2 day trip to the mnts to be alone and fish and hike in my favorite place. It really helped. No one was asking if I was ok. No one was looking at me with the pitty eyes for those 2 days and i loved it
Honestly, just be there for her without her needing to ask. Depending how close you are, pop by and just help around the house. Bring food. Give her a token to remember her sweet baby. Give her hugs and don’t push her to talk about it until she does so freely.
Nawwww…so sad. Give her a big cuddle from me a stranger. 
Look up moonglow jewelry. Get her something with the date she lost her baby.
1 Like
My heart breaks for your friend, sending love her way. When we lost our baby my sister in law sent an assortment of ice cream pints, friends sent flowers and fruit bouquets. Perhaps the most unique thing I recommend is Spoonfulofcomfort.com
Send her flowers, a meal, and some sweets
1 Like
Not everyone is the same but when we lost our baby a friend invited us for dinner a few days after, it was really nice to just have a laugh and not forget but be distracted for a few hours
Don’t assume she doesn’t want visitors. Bring her some ready to go meals and when you drop off stay awhile if it feels right.
4 Likes
Send her a nice card with a thoughtful, heartfelt message, and that will mean a lot. She will feel a sense of peace or a little less sadness. Also, pray for her. Sometimes there is nothing YOU specifically can do, but God can.
2 Likes
My best friend got me a infinity necklace that has wings and baby feet on it.
1 Like
Everyone grieves differently. Let her know you’re there for her and ask how you can support her. If it were me, I’d appreciate food and someone washng my dishes.
1 Like
Pray for her and give her sometime to get better
1 Like
Everyone is different I see alot of women on here saying do nothing that they didn’t want it to be brought forward… I personally would have loved it if anyone had of acknowledged it when I lost my babies ( 2 separate miscarriages ) . .
I’d feel her out she may want to just forget or she may want someone to mourn with her … tread lightly and take your cues from her … but I like the wind chime idea and the huge stuffed bear idea … I really soft blanket could be nice as well .
But really if nothing else just being there for her and letting her know you got her back will most likely do wonders
3 Likes
Please don’t assume she doesn’t want visitors. When I lost my daughter, most of my friends assumed the same thing. Yes, I was hurting but I felt so alone until my best friend showed up at my house, told me to pack some clothes and that I had no choice, I was going camping with her to get away. My best suggestion is a card or drop off meals letting her know that you’re there for her. Even if you don’t know what to say, her knowing that you care and will listen could mean more to her than you’ll ever know.
2 Likes
Send her things she can do. Massage or a mani and pedi gift certificate. Also just be there for her when she needs to and always check up on here. Bring her home cooked meals a few times for a few weeks.
3 Likes
Unconditional love, support and lend an ear whenever she needs to vent 
3 Likes
If it’s a close friend a visit helped me my best friend passed away the same year I lost my baby ( 5 months later) her being there meant the world to me. She brought me a card that she wrote in and a awesome t-shirt. Granted I’m a t shirt junkie…
2 Likes
i lost a few. best thing to do is be there to help with even the smallest things. make her dinner a few times. give her nice bubble bath shit to relax.
A journal and something to write in it with. When I lost my son I wish I had a way to write how I was feeling at the time instead of holding it all in.
1 Like
I lost my baby last month at 24 weeks, food was the best thing people brought for me for the first week, I’ve also gotten a few pieces of jewelry that I cherish, and a self care box with a mug, candle, lotions and face masks, cozy socks, etc
2 Likes
Ask her if she is up for visitors. If so bring food or coffee or something she enjoys to eat/drink. With my miscarriage I just wanted people to talk with me and be there for me. People ignored me and left me alone with my toddler and just went about business as usual and I felt so broken and alone. People need people.
4 Likes
A friend of mine recently gave birth to a sleeping baby she had nicknamed Monkey. I crocheted her a baby sized monkey for her to hug whenever she wanted. I also got her key chains that said mommy to an angel and daddy to an angel.
1 Like
I would order her hot meals to be delivered
1 Like
I did t want visitors at all. Nothing would have made me feel better. Wait a week and call her. See if she wants to go to lunch or something like that.
1 Like
I’ve had 2 losses… Memorial jewelry, meals, gift certificate to a tattoo shop for her to get a memorial tattoo of that’s her thing, a teddy bear with the baby’s name. When she feels up to it plan a girls day… lunch, nails something of that nature
1 Like
What would have really helped me (other than a shoulder) was a basket.
Journals, cooling eye masks (because all of that crying hurts), soft blankets cause (I personally didn’t leave my bed for a long while), netflix/hulu subscription, tylenol (again, crying hurts), snacks, wine…
Things like that are all helpful. Another thing you can do is get a list of trauma/grief councilors together but gage when you give it to her. Some of us are resistant to therapy at first but it’s a necessity.
My mom and stepdad sent me a weighted blanket when I had a miscarriage at the beginning of the year. We live on opposite coasts and they couldn’t be here to hug me and I swear I stayed wrapped up in that blanket for two weeks straight, I found it to be so comforting.
1 Like
Edible arrangements or some flowers
Girl ok can you video call and talk to her I’d start there be her support first and I would say a live plant would be nice go to lowes or home depot find her a beautiful vine something easy she can take care of what helped me when I lost my 3rd pregnancy was I got a plant and a cat which I still have that cat 5 almost 6 years later it helped me heal and focus on something I could take care of
If they have other children, offer to take them out for a bit, maybe bring some food (easy things nothing difficult) and don’t be afraid to ask what they need.
1 Like
The thing I found helped me the most when my daughter was stillborn was someone who wanted to talk about her with me just like they would if she had lived. Was she far enough along to get pictures? Ask to see them. Did she have cravings/morning sickness? Ask about how she felt. Does she want keepsakes? The little things matter. Act like her baby mattered, because it did.
5 Likes
Do you know what scents she likes? Candles, bath and lotion stuff. Snacks. Maybe a book about coping with loss. A stuffed animal, blanket, ect. Comfort items
1 Like
Be there for her anytime give her support.lebd an ear.
1 Like
Ask if she’s the type that wants to be left alone or wants the company, people heal in different ways! Any pedi/mani with or with out you. Maybe a massage. Coffee date or play date w other kids (if either one of you has kids) sometimes people just want that listening ear