Have a question! My bf baby mother is taking child support out on him. They have. 50/50 agree that’s not with the court. She has one week, and we have him for one week. He has everything he needs, and more at both houses hold, and neither are struggling. The babysitter is getting married, so that will be two incomes against one income. I’m nervous for him because he is a GREAT father, and she is doing this out of spite because she doesn’t like their father and son relationship at all. Please help. What are we looking at as an outcome.
36 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What can my boyfriend expect with his ex coming for child support? - Mamas Uncut
If it’s 50/50 who ever makes more money pays support from my understanding. N if not it goes by your income you can go on there child support website for your county and use the calculator and get a idea of the amount.
6 Likes
Take the custody arrangement to court bcuz usually 50/50 either the higher paid parent has to pay or neither do.
5 Likes
I really think that depends on your state. Where I live if you share 50/50 no one pays.
3 Likes
To be responsible and pay what the court assigns.
2 Likes
I’m confused about the babysitter and where that comes into play.
21 Likes
It’s hard to say. It sounds to be like the father should
Take her to court for an agreement and court order so she can’t just change things as she pleases. I will say that courts have said that even with 50/50 custody one parent generally still pays child support unless both agree not too. Also child support will depend on the incomes.usually will ONLY look at father and mothers incomes . Doesn’t matter of significant other. It will depend on many factors. Is she comes after home for child support with our court order then his best defense is get courts involved.
2 Likes
My income doesn’t have anything to do with my husband’s child support it is only on the parent’s income to determine child support. I could be making a ton of money (I’m not) and it wouldn’t change child support. My income is my income his is his…even though we are married. Also in our state my husband pays child support even though we have 50/50 it’s so backwards but that’s the way it is
4 Likes
They figure both of their incomes, how many overnights he has and if there is daycare costs involved. With him having them every other week, it shouldn’t be much. My older twos father used to have them every other week and I never took him for child support because he had them half the time. You support them when you have them and I support them when I have them. Some people are so damn money hungry 
Especially when there are fathers out here who DONT support their kids in ANY aspect. She should be thankful.
Your state should have an online payment calculator. I know in Indiana if you don’t work, they still use a $290/week minimum amount for income.
Who’s responsible for schooling, dr apt and such things? Thatll determine who pays who and it is income based where I live
2 Likes
It definitely depends on where you are. If you keep the split 50/50 custody, they can still figure out child support based on the parent who makes more financially paying support. Mom or Dad getting married, shouldn’t change their income. Normally, a spouses income would not be included in the calculation.
1 Like
Ask for full custody if you don’t want to pay
State run child support agencies will make one parent take an extra day and the other parent pays a minimal amount… my sons dad paid me $30 a month and paid $50 toward daycare and 50 toward state medical…. He hasn’t paid in 10 years and the case was dropped 3 years after it was opened by dhs when I stopped using daycare…
An in Oklahoma even if one parent gets married an there spouse has a income they do not count the spouses income as income, only the 2 parents of the child, definitely take the agreement to court either no one pays or the higher income pays to off set what the other parent lacks I guess that’s how it works.
3 Likes
Well if you’re choosing not to work, you can’t really be upset that it’s 2 incomes vs 1. Also, the new spouses income won’t factor in because it’s not his child. If your bf is making more than mom then he needs to step in and pay the difference. That’s how it works.
4 Likes
My bf and his ex has 50 50 custody. And he has to pay child support. I think it’s dumb. I don’t know how he has to pay if it’s 50/50
Usually a 50/50 split is no child support
It really all depends on the state you are in. I’m in Alabama and it’s a mothering state so they will side with her unless y’all have got a bomb ass lawyer. Majority of judges don’t like 50/50 because they say it’s not a stable environment for the child
It all depends on what is said at the hearing, if she lies or if he lies etc. The 50/50 agreement needs to be brought up. They go by income etc.
if you’ve got 50/50 shared care, depending where you are, no one pays child support 
1 Like
Step one is to get a formal custody agreement then the court will take the 50/50 custody into consideration with child support. And you said “we” have him for a week … so it’s not two incomes against one. It sounds like there are 2 incomes at dad’s house too (you.)
3 Likes
They base off both the mother and fathers income to show what type of lifestyle the child could have with them together, if they are 50/50 then no support should be paid at all unless one cover health (that will have to be split between the two) and any sports or child care will be split between the two. Food Good clothes and housing should come into okay bc they each share the same amount of time with the child so they are responsible for their own
Why is she doing it out of spite? It’s his child correct???
7 Likes
New spouse income doesn’t matter. (If you meant her as babysitter).
2 Likes
I think it depends on where you live here in the uk if it’s 50/50 and you can prove you pay for everything they have/need while with you the other parent can’t actually get anything
I only get csa because my kids dad only see’s them for a few hours on a Saturday and there’s no overnight stays with him (his choice)
It really varies by state.
Pay what is ordered and possibly lawyer up so he can get court ordered paperwork for their current visitation.
Most likely $200 a month. Myself and friends included get $200 a month for each child at 50/50 in California. Thats most women i know in my state in the same situation as me.
It’s supposed to go on parental income. So even if it’s 50/50 custody agreement, if the father makes significantly more than the mom or vise versa, the parent that makes more would have to pay the other child support to even out how the child is cared for financially in each home
1 Like
If it hasn’t been a problem all this time and now that she’s getting married she wants to go try and get child support I think there might be more to her reasoning than jealousy over the father son relationship.
Depends on the state. Wisconsin screws the fathers!
1 Like
Only communicate with her through text or email at this point. Do not call her and do not answer when she calls. If you have any proof of agreement save it. Even if you can get admission from her about said agreement during g a conversation save it.
Sounds like both households have the potential for two incomes. But regardless, spousal income doesn’t count. Your husband and his ex should really go to court and get a custody agreement and a child support agreement written up. Most judges don’t give 50/50. It’s usually 49/51 to avoid cases like this. Also, because there is 365 days in a year, so someone has more time than the other.
What’s the babysitter got to do with it 
8 Likes
Bring all the proof you can that he’s been doing 50/50 custody. Anything written or through text. All of it. Child support usually means a formal custody agreement too so be sure to mention that to your lawyer or the mediator or whoever asap.
When parents share 50/50 custody, child support payments are approximately 15% of the difference of the parents’ earnings. The exact number to be paid will depend also on the number of children shared, the amount of time each parent has with the children, and the parents’ monthly incomes. Idk if it’s like this for every state but it’s like this in Alabama.
I get $350 and we have 50/50. But I also pay child care 75% of the time and have him covered for health insurance.
2 Likes
This is why you have everything done through the court. He needs to hire an attorney and do what he needs to do.
1 Like
That’s wrong of her. Document everything.
1 Like
It’s not your business
9 Likes
If there isn’t a court order agreement then the judge will set one then do the child support. Since there is already a verbal 50/50 agreement then the judge will more than likely try to keep the 50/50 agreement. The state I live in whoever makes more will be the one to pay child support. They’ll determine how much each party would have to pay in cs then whoever makes more money would have to pay the other person either pays the difference or half of the difference. I don’t really remember. They do not take spouses or any other persons income into account.
7 Likes
He needs to see a lawyer and get things taken care of, should have done that in the beginning.
1 Like
He needs to ask his lawyer that.
If it’s out of the court she can’t just demand he pay her. Even if the court ordered split custody, they probably still wouldn’t make one or the other owe child support. In might be different by state, but I’m in TN and as far as I know that’s how they do it. I have split custody of my daughter and no child support from either parties because it’s equal custody. If y’all took it to court and one parent ended up with more custody than the other, then maybe child support would come in to play.
It’s not your business, I wouldn’t want a “girlfriend” in a matter that didn’t involve her, not your kid so not your concern
15 Likes
The girlfriend is going to always say the BM is bitter or spiteful. You got with a man with baggage. Except it and carry on or don’t and move on
21 Likes
50/50 he still gonna pay her.
1 Like
Not sure how the babysitter income matters in this honestly and second if they’re already do a 50/50 more than likely the judge will stick with that and sometimes judges won’t do child support if it’s 50/50 but it truly depends on the judge tho in the case. Also not sure y child support should matter to u either
Also tell him to get a good attorney also while you’re at
Expect a visitation schedule to be put in place & for him to be paying child support.
2 Likes
If they have 50/50 then he needs to go back to court and have the papers reprised she can’t get CS if they do 50/50
2 Likes
Are you…calling the mom the babysitter?
Also why are you nervous? Child support has nothing to do with visitation.
15 Likes
If it’s 50/50 it will reduce what he pays I’m sure
A court will have to evaluate their custody agreement/ parenting plan. . And then child support will be determined after that. (Usually)
1 Like
None of Ur business love
12 Likes
He needs to talk to a lawyer. If he makes more he will pay child support. The states formula can be super confusing.
Have him fight it and prove it make him fight for half custody and prove everything to the judge/lawyer. Have him take her too.
1 Like
My daughter’s dad is reduced 14 percent due to having her every weekend which is good
1 Like
If she follows through with it and that current arrangement she’ll probably have to pay him as well.
If its 50/50 she cant expect child support in most states
3 Likes
If it’s 50/50 not.ally there isn’t child support
In 50/50 the parent who makes the most pays some to the other ! No matter how much their new husband or wife makes that is irrelevant it’s off the bio parents !
3 Likes
I have some questions:
- How do you know what his baby mom has at her house and her financial situation?
- How is she being spiteful? It sounds like they are coparenting pretty well. Most spiteful baby moms try to keep the baby away but she’s giving him equal time.
- Is your boyfriend upset at paying child support or are you upset that he has to pay it?
- He may have everything that he needs at his mom’s house but she might need the extra money to help pay for childcare. Is the boy in school or daycare? Does he have outside activities?
- This is more of a statement then a question. Maybe you should mind the business that pays you. Let that man handle his business. I’m trying to figure out how helping financially with his child has anything to do with you.
41 Likes
They will look at her income n his income and they will come up with an amount. Also he may also have to pay for health insurance if she doesn’t already cover it thru hers… Like here in Ohio my kids dads pay child support each month.
1 Like
I’m sorry, who are you calling the babysitter? Because I know it’s not that child’s mother. If that’s how you talk about her, be lucky that’s all she’s doing is asking for what every other mother gets.
23 Likes
And the child’s mother is not a babysitter. She’s his mother and I am 100% sure you’re the problem
11 Likes
If it’s not your child it’s not your business.
6 Likes
Im sure if its 5050 he won’t have to pay much tbh… doesnt sound fair he pays anything if everything is 5050 I wish it was 5050 with me and my son 
Bitch please, did u just call the kids mom babysitter???
What’s the babysitter getting married got to do with it? If your calling the child’s mom that, shame on you! It goes by both their incomes and any child care or medical expenses. But it’ll be taken into account that it’s 50/50. Doesn’t matter if ppl claim the child’s got all they need or not.
11 Likes
Why everyone is being so rude I dont know shes asking for advise for her partner
If your referring to your ( suppose to be step sons mom) as the baby sitter ? Than I dont think having a relationship is in the best interest of the family let alone the kids . That’s like calling baby dad the sperm donar? Sounds like u may dislike what ever it is they have going on when that’s something that silently sounds like u want for your self , this is how I’d feel and if that were that case tbh id cut visits back and allow them to have time without u.
With that being said if there is no agreement than the judge may order support if time is lessened with that because of the lack of respect u show her as this kid being his mom and not u.
And it would be based on income .
50/50 in court everything would be equally shared .depending on where your from . Maybe show the babysitter more respect chances are u will get the same in return . This isnt about u, mom dad . It’s about what is best for the child and his future
I dislike the fact that every time a baby mama takes her baby daddy for child support, everyone always has to claim that it’s “out of spite”
Maybe it’s not to be spiteful. Maybe befriend the baby mama and communicate with her both you and your boyfriend. Take through any misunderstanding. It could be an insurance thing or maybe she needs a little help? But to jump to conclusions like that is so rude, IMO. Not all baby mamas are money hungry and bitter like y’all make them out to be. She’s just doing what she thinks is best.
He still has to pay for his child. If he has an issue he can take it to court. It’s none of your business. If he is a great father he will
Step up and not mind paying for his child. Any issues of concern for that should be between him, the mom and if need be the courts. Not you.
3 Likes
I think maybe babysitter was meant to be baby mama…. Op correct me if I’m wrong?
But also, if they’re co-parenting well… and sharing 50/50 he isn’t gonna pay much. & if it bothers you that he has to pay anything, at all… then I think you need to re-evaluate being with a man who has children…
16 Likes
I have 50/50 with my ex husband and I get $0 child support. That’s what 50/50 should be. He covers health insurance and I pay copays up to $100 then we split anything over $100. Same with sports 50/50 - school supplies- anything.
7 Likes
This is your boyfriend, not your husband? Let him handle it and mind your own
14 Likes
I don’t know why your so concerned about a issue that has NOTHING to do with you. AT ALL.
13 Likes
I think you’ll find that YOURE the babysitter, not the biological mother!! Jesus I don’t think you’ll be in this situation long if you have so much disrespect for his child’s mum.
21 Likes
If they go to court for child support they can put the 50/50 on court papers. They take her income and his income and come up with an amount that works given the amount of time he spends in both places.
Child support is not about spiting a parent. It’s about making sure the parents are BOTH contributing to needs, even those outside of everyday food and shelter. Medical bills, insurance, etc. Don’t get petty with his ex, they HAVE to co-parent. If you’re going to have an attitude you’re only going to add to the stress.
2 Likes
Explain the arrangement they have to the judge or your attorney if you have one
Go get your messy butt some of your own business.
In pa, the man pays even if its 50/50 and the woman gets remarried and doesnt even have to work.
My brother is going through this right now. It sucks
1 Like
They will look at her income and his income but if y’all have split 50/50 custody then she can not get child support and infact if it is 50/50 and she makes more then she maybe the one to have to pay him child support
I’m thinking that maybe babymama autocorrected to babysitter. I’m willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.
6 Likes
This is the type of girl that irks my nerves when they try to play stepmother. You sound horrible. If the Dad has any issues he needs to take back to court. If its 50/50 I can understand not wanting to pay so much but if he’s paying back support that’s different. You’re not giving the whole story.
7 Likes
It sounds like you’re more concerned with how much $$$ is gonna be left for you if he ends up paying child support
7 Likes
Actually no one should be paying support if you have one week and she has the other. I’d get a lawyer
2 Likes
I just want to know how you know she isn’t struggling financially? Do you live with her? I would stay out of it and let the courts figure it out. They will look at both incomes.
1 Like
Child support is solely based on his income and hers … married or not the spouses income is not included… she will have to take him to court to get it court ordered at that time he can tell the judge they have been sharing 50 50
If its 50/50 no one should be paying child support. 
2 Likes
Where I’m at child support and custody are 2 different things. They do not go hand in hand. Unfortunately this is what you are going to have to deal with getting with someone who already has a child. This isn’t going to just go away. Financially it could be until out of collage. Emotional and physically it for the rest of your life.
1 Like
Umm…excuse me! Did you just call that babies MOTHER “the babysitter”…
Get some respect and some class while your at it…
HOW DARE YOU!
5 Likes
In Iowa, they go according to his n her income n it being 50/50 depending on who make more depends on child support… Like if she make more than him then he might not pay anything… But if he makes more than her he might pay very little… Depends on how much more they make… I believe it also has something to do with how much you pay on your rent as well… Also he has to show proof he has him 50/50 since it’s not through the courts… Also since she’s not married yet her fiance income won’t be included… But if he lives with her it will mean he’s concerned pay half of all financial bills which will make it more than likely she doesn’t pay out as much…
The court will do what’s best for the child. It’s between the mother and father of the child. No the stepmom/stepdad or bf/gf.
How typical, the new gf degrades the child’s mother with name calling and thinks she’s jealous. Gross
Btw, child support is to bridge the gap and make sure the child has the same lifestyle at both houses. Not all moms who care about that are bitter or jealous. The court isn’t going to care one bit about her husbands income, it’s not 2 incomes vs 1.
8 Likes
If she is getting help from Social services or medicaid etc its required you have to file for it to get help
2 Likes
Here’s what I’m gonna tell you, in all fairness you only know his side of the story. You don’t know what she makes for sure, you have no idea what her costs are for their child, and her being married has nothing to do with their child.
I’m a step mom, and I’m sorry but it’s not my business nor is it yours. He’s your boyfriend, not even your husband. So as for now you’re only temporary and it’s even more so not your business. Your job in this is to be a good stepmother and support him. Period. If there is only one income in your household and he was struggle because of paying support then you need to be helping him financially.
Now normally with 50/50 no parent pays support unless one makes significantly more. However the child’s mother’s income is the only one that matters, not her soon to be husband. Because in the courts eyes she could leave that man and it’s not financially his responsibility
10 Likes
From reading here, sounds like it is all verbal… a basic of a can be a messy he said/she said scenario. When going for CS if it really is 50/50, there needs to be documentation of that. Also, who pays the insurance? Who pays the Dr bills? Are there special needs for the child? A lot of factors come into play when discussing child support. Some courts, even though 50/50 will order CS but it depends on the actual scenario.