What do I do, is this normal?

I've been with my SO for 6 1/2 years. it's been rough on and off for so long, but i won't get into that part.

This morning his buddy texted him and said ‘you probably won’t show up anyway’ guilting him into going over for a night.
don’t get me wrong, i’m not petty. I’ve never told him he couldn’t go somewhere, couldn’t do something he wanted too.
i’m the one who sits at home with the kids, i’m the one who has begged for a single night out with friends since i’ve been home with kids for 3 years without a night off.
i casually said ‘he’s lucky i don’t mind if you go, he doesn’t need to make you feel guilty’.
and the fight started , this man dead ass looked me in the face and said ‘i don’t need your permission, we aren’t married, if i want to go see my buddies i will’

i sat here shocked. because in all reality, i need to ask before i even go to the store. I don’t have a single friend anymore who texts or calls and asks me to do something since they all learnt in the last couple years that the answer was always no.
or I’d make the plans to go, and the last minute he would flip out about it, and then leave, so id be here alone with my girls and have to cancel.
I feel like i’m constantly getting the bad end of the stick, because i’ve lost all my friends, i sit alone, the only time i get out (and usually with my kids) is for groceries or appointments.

is this normal? are all men like this? because we aren’t married am i really supposed to sit at home alone while he gets nights out with his buddies and i don’t? id like to add, he’s been off work since september, he was a struggling alcoholic for a couple years and i constantly handled that the best way i could,
in November, he left six/seven hours away for rehab, and i won’t even get into how bad of a shit show that was.