If you can’t speak your truth, this post. Then say nothing at all.
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Say nothing. Allow others to speak if they wish and let the minister do a sermon and let that be that!
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That’s a hard call for anyone. My brothers and I had exemplary parents but didn’t speak at their funerals. It would have been so hard for any of us. Surely there will be a priest or funeral director who could speak on behalf of the family? If not… Maybe you could say a prayer or look up a psalm and read it aloud. Sorry for your loss, dear.
Stick to his life timeline, birth, parents, siblings, graduated, any accomplishments, his employment, marriage date, children,nieces, nephews, grandchildren, any hobbies he had. This will honor his life without having to insert feelings
I know you’re hurting and I’m sorry. I like humor during the hard times… look up some funny eulogies on YouTube. Sry if I offend you I truly hope it helps
That is hard. Because what do you really say. Maybe just find a generic speech. I am so sorry for you.
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Don’t lie, be honest but gentle, speak the truth. If you choose to say something’s, thank about what he did.
And you don’t have to say anything
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Use what you have here just reword some of it, even tho he was your father, alot of men do not show there feelings, he probably cared but thought it best to stay away.
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I said… “he was straight to the point without considering your feelings, he loved fiercely, he was ornery, stubborn, mean as a snake sometimes / often…but he was mine. I loved him because of him and in spite of him and I pray that he has peace. “
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The way it sounds, is anyone even going to show up? Why even have a service if people feel this way about him? 
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Did he provide for you? Obviously he was fighting demons. Maybe your minister should deliver eulogy.
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We all deserve a respectful funeral as none of us are perfect yet usually do the best that we know how at the time! Then again, some just don’t seem to KNOW how but still deserve as positive a spin on their unique personality as you can honestly give—Maybe just admit their faults but say you loved them anyway.
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Find some scripture to read. I’m sorry for your loss.
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Just remember…
He was YOUR father!!!
You say how YOU felt about him!!
Share your favorite memory
Maybe mention and make light of it…
He wasn’t lived or liked by all but he was my father xo
I am so sorry for your loss 
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sometimes if u dont have nothing nice to say its better to say nothing
or read a bible verse on forgiveness or what ever u feel is relevent
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Introduce yourself and share a good memory if you have one. And thank people for being there. That’s enough. I’m sorry for your loss
Mention things that are objective. Eg “he was a teacher” “father of 2” “gone too soon”. If you have any fond memories use that as an anecdote.
Nothing it’s what I did. Other ppl spoke but my sisters and I said nothing of a man whose funeral we paid for. Whose family was foreign to us and a man that wasn’t in our lives. I also took him off life support after 30 days in a terrible state in the hospital. There by his own doing. Drug overdose. I did what I could. But I could not speak. Now he sits in my mantle. I guess I finally have him in my life. 
sorry maybe not the best answer but I’m still in therapy and still healing. Do what is best for you. Nobody can make you do anything more.
You don’t have to say anything. Let the person officiating talk (pastor or other person). Don’t have them ask people to come up and share. In my experience people rarely go up and it’s just embarrassing. At one of my family member’s funerals a niece went up to talk and hurt her parents’ feelings greatly. Better to just skip any of that.
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Pray, I’m sure God will give you words to say
Have graveside services Thank God for allowing him to father you and say that his decision were not always good ones and that you hope he made good decisions about his relationship with the Heavenly Father.
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Perhaps just say he did his best. Some dads don’t give us great speeches for their funerals. We must try remember in their brain they did their best.
Good luck darling. Loosing a parent is hardcore.
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You dont have to let the priest/pastor do the whole service with no speakers
Ask someone else to do the eulogy. I’m sure the family can find someone who liked him to do it.
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Prayers for you to make the wise decision and realize that the Lord is looking down on you and you wouldn’t want to disappoint. You will do fine.
I have, I didn’t say anything other than generalizations
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Say positive things.
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You could ask the funeral director or if there is a religious leader present to speak.
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Like the saying goes. If you have nothing nice 2say. Don’t say anything,
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Maybe a nice scripture or a song.
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During our funerals people make slide shows of pictures and play music.
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I’m so sorry your relationship was lacking. Daddies are so important! I wish all Daddies knew that… DID HE HAVE HOBBIES OR SPECIAL INTERESTS? DID HE SERVE IN THE MILITARY?
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Did he support your family? Provide the necessity. Thank him for that.
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As a minister who officiates at funerals, I have counseled family members who had this problem. We worked together to find moments when the deceased was at their least objectionable. Perhaps a good athlete, told a funny joke, was kind to someone, fashion sense, etc. You can do this without heaping praise on someone who honestly doesn’t deserve it, and fulfill your duties to your family.
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Was he a hard worker?
Did he provide for his family?
Do community service?
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I can’t relate. I live where the main part of the funeral is handled by the Minister the family chose. Then if there were a military or organization the decedent had been a member they might have a small part.
WHat does your heart tell you?
why not just have him cremated and no funeral, so why waste your time pretending a service when you truly have nothing nice to say. So there was not any good moment she didn’t take your own any vacations he didn’t take you to a movie he didn’t treat you for something special even if it was just once or twice?
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Don’t talk ill of the dead but you don’t have to falsify what you say either. Id keep it short and honest.
I would talk to the church or funeral home about just having a scripture read or something. Get up there and just say your thank yous for everyone coming and how appreciative you are for them coming. It doesn’t have to be super personal and sappy. Your emotions don’t have to be laid out on a platter for people either.
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In all honesty, I didn’t speak on behalf of my parents because I was too emotional. I had the most amazing parents but didn’t and couldn’t speak. Don’t speak. Let the priest do the funeral and that’s it. 
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At my dads funeral I just spoke about his best qualities, the things I loved about him, and good memories I had of him. There was a lot of bad times, heart break, disappointments, and anger but there was a lot of good times, love, and happiness there too. My dad had a lot of friends and family and it was a huge funeral. Everyone knew what killed him, being an alcoholic, they were all aware of his struggles, battles, and  disease. They knew he left behind his two daughters (19 and 21 at the time) because he couldn’t quit drinking but I choose to focus on the best aspects of him because aside from all of that there was a really great side to him. I did unravel a few times in my anger and hurt but it was a difficult thing to do knowing how different his life and our life could have been.
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I Was always taught if you have nothing good to say then say nothing at all He gave you life and be happy
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I can relate to this sadly… we just had the minister say a few words…I do miss him at times, but I miss the relationship we should have had, more…
Say nothing except peace will find you
Don’t do an eulogy. Let the priest or rabbi say a prayer or whatever and let it be at that.
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At this sad time, forget about anything negative, and only talk about his life. I know it will be hard but you’ll be glad you did in the future
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My aunt had no one that had warm feelings as well. The preacher did the eulogy instead of family so that may be an option. Also , for hers he stuck to the facts . Born , parents names , schools attended , children grand children survivors
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I agree dont do one it doesnt matter
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Just save he walked his own way
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Just have a preacher give a talk and the burial no one else needs to say anything
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I wouldn’t do the eulogy
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Just be honest and say things like at least he’s at peace now . He can rest at ease nothing can hurt him anymore but you don’t have to say anything negative oe sloppy .
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Don’t say anything. Let a preacher give the service
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I disagree that a eulogy has to be positive. Then again I think honesty is important.
mention things like he was a good worker, he liked to _, his favorite book was
I have no feelings for my mother…she is 80…I don’t think I’ll even go to her funeral….
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At an aunts funeral, all the could say was “Her life was uneventful” which was about it. You can phrase your negativity in humorous ways so you don’t appear to be the bad one. Or “He was his own man, not afraid to say what he thought, even if it offended someone”! “His life was filled with ups and downs, yet he is why I exist, and I am thankful for that!” Just some ideas to say he wasn’t the best, without saying he wasn’t the best.
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Just say he was a man of many directions, he marched to the beat of his own drum, may he rest eternally.
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If you cant say some thing nice, Say nothing.
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Have a little graveyard service the minister or priest will say a few words and thats it
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You could read a poem. Or a prayer. Or recall a good memory of him.
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Maybe that you’re grateful he gave you life although you wished he had been more present in yours or something like that?
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We are sorry he’s gone, so much more we could’ve done if we had thought it all out!
You could talk about what kind of father you wanted him to be or imagined when you were little if he was decent then. If not just say whats in your heart, and that you wished he was loving, involved etc. Whe. My biological father passed I couldn’t make it to his funeral, because 1. I was 18 and senior in high school, he passed during school year 2. I didn’t feel the need to make the appearance. I was devastated at not being able able to really meet him on an adult level and ask why he choose to stay out of my life. But once I was older and able to go to where he was buried, I made my own amends, paid for a grave marker myself and that’s how I coped with his death.
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Why even speak? Just let a pastor do a prayer, do a tiny bit of preaching, play some music and be done. No need to speak.
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seems he lived his life on his own terms. You could express that and pray that he has found his place and peace in the hereafter.
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Say nothing. Refuse the invitation to speak. Nothing says you have to. Speaking from experience.
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You can say what he meant to you. Good, bad, ugly otherwise. Things he taught you,if he was there for you or not. I’d just be honest but at the same time personalize it.
Jade Jheeta I heard you say this
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God loved him and he was your father things may have not been the way you would’ve wanted but you are the person you are and there is something that helped you. It is hard to forgive but it’s more for you than anyone else. May God bless you and give you wisdom
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You don’t have to give one. Just play music.
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I mean, you don’t HAVE to give a eulogy. No one can force you to do that.
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Say nothing or speak the truth why sugar coat anything just be real or just be quiet
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Talk about the snippets you remember of him that were funny or warm or touching to you. Speak about the things he valued and liked or enjoyed. Then maybe speak about how the loss is a bigger loss because there were so many lost opportunities left that will never come to pass. But you wish him peace and love
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You should bow out of giving a eulogy. Just have the pastor do his and maybe a best friend give one. People don’t expect close relatives of the deceased to be composed enough to give a speech. I did not give one at either of my parents’ funerals…and they were AWESOME parents.
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At least you can attend. I was notified 2weeks after my dad died. Don’t speak ill of him but be honest. If he was what you say, everyone else in attendance is aware of it too. My dad and I were estranged for years. When they’re gone you can’t change things.
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You don’t HAVE to say anything. Just ask the funeral director to talk and read some scripture or something. If he’s alienated everyone then there can’t be too many people going to the funeral. 
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Just think about how you would feel if you werent invited. Say whats in your heart. He was your dad you wished youlls relationship was different. Be greatful for them but no one is perfect. You choose what you want or dont want to say. Pray about it.
people have their own thoughts about him so don’t do one let the vicar/priest do it. They usually ask what you want said anyway.
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As a funeral director….Find a nice poem to read. Then it’s not personal but you’re still showing your respect.
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hard to say as I gave my father’s eulogy but he was an awesome Dad, I would just say he was one of God’s children & finally at home with his creator?
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Only time I chose to speak up for my father was on a Memorial Day…he served from before Pearl Harbor until after the war was over. The veterans at the memorial ceremonies were asked to gather around the memorial platform…as I had served 20+ years in the Navy and I wasn’t done yet, but I felt entitled to attend, so I did - my dad chose to not attend. As explanation, I’ll tell you that he was never in combat…served in everything from cook to AA crew and, in fact, was assigned to a German POW camp after the war. (He should have gotten an award for an incident at the camp, but he warned the other soldier that saw it happen to keep his mouth shut - he didn’t want to stick around Germany any longer than necessary!) Back to Memorial Day - my dad said he didn’t deserve any honor - that belonged to those that served in combat. They asked each of us in turn to say a few words about our service. When my turn came, I explained my military service, but I stood to speak for my father who didn’t feel the service was for him. I told about his story in as few words as possible, then on to the next guy. I didn’t get to speak at his funeral as I was overseas and just couldn’t get home quick enough…
Maybe say a poem about death
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Pray he is at peace in life,god is a forgiving god and pray he is with his loved ones.Someday you hope to meet again
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I did an eulogy for my dad. He passed on 3/24/22. I used to do stand up comedy so I wrote it kinda funny for him because I got my sense of humor from him. If you need help writing I can help
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Maybe say that you wish you could have more time to build a stronger relationship.
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Find someone else to say it.
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Why even have one geeze😳
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There is good & bad in everyone. Find something positive to say. No need to lie but surely u can think of something that mattered to him, perhaps mention how u wish u had more time with him & how he lived his life on his terms. And how u pray he is at peace. U won’t feel better by focusing on the negative. Maybe he did the best he could. U probably don’t know everything he went through, felt or regretted. And just maybe others won’t judge u as harshly as they may think they could
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Honey just say what’s in your heart 
This is why I don’t attend funerals. I don’t care how rotten of a human being the person was, people feel the need to lie at their funerals. Like, c’mon, it’s no secret so-n-so was just not a good person. Why is it so hard to just tell the truth? Oh… because it offends people…SMDH.
Why do you have to say anything?
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“You’re sad for what you all could have had” You should say exactly that, you don’t have to go into specifics. Short and sweet is ok.
Usually people would do a brief rundown of that persons life/their childhood, starting with where they were born and then mentioning a few interesting facts. Maybe he came from humble beginnings, or what school he went to, maybe he grew up on a dairy farm, or he travelled or fought in a war. You could mention other family and when and how he met your Mum.
Then talk briefly about his life in recent years, you don’t even have to mention your childhood if you don’t want to. Be gently honest. You can touch on the struggle but acknowledge the good. Talk about one nice memory if you can, talk about how you wished things could have ended differently and thank him for anything he may have taught you or whatever you feel he has played apart in, even if it’s just giving you life.
I’ve been to a few funerals.
I’m deeply sorry for the loss of your Dad, for all that you have to lay to rest, including all that you wished it was but couldn’t be.
I hope you find closure.
As much as funerals are about formalities it’s more important to be honest and heal. Nothing dramatic but the people that knew him probably know it wasn’t all peaches, family life rarely is so don’t worry x
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