What do I say at my dads funeral?

Why is there a funeral ? Who’s attending if he left a trail of people alienated? I’m not trying to be snarky but funerals are to celebrate a life or day a final goodbye but they are not a passage of virtue. Keep it real cause it sounds like he did. Best of luck :pray:t3:

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Maybe look for a nice poem to read?

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Be kind you will regret harsh words. There are no fo overs. As far as the marriage it take 2 to ruin

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Maybe find a poem on the internet that’s not too deep, just a small farewell.


Maybe ask who ever is officiating the funeral for advice. I bet they have been through this before.

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The funeral home should be able to refer someone who could speak. They would ask you questions ahead of time and then put it all together. It’s usually lovely if you can’t find the words

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Just play Frank Sinatras song “my way”

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If you have nothing nice to say rather let someone else speak


I wouldn’t say anything. Just let those who want to speak say something so you can process your feelings in private. There are a lot of ppl who don’t speak at their parents funeral and that is okay. Nobody needs to know the specifics.


Don’t say anything you don’t need to.


Why are you giving an urology? Just don’t. I’ve lost 3 parents, 4 funerals. I didn’t give an urology at any. Maybe it’s just the churches they were held at. But the officiant never asked for anyone to.

In a situation like this, I would make it clear to whoever is performing the service to allow anyone who wants to say something to come up and address everyone. If there’s no one, there’s no one. If there’s 10 people, let them say what they want. But you don’t have to say anything.


I can’t say anything same situation other than at the funeral I was ganged on why I didn’t go see him before he died.

Just say what you feel.
Or we’re all sad about the loss of (name here) insert cry

Condolences , extended prayers for healing and some encouragement: He may have not been great but he helped bring you into this world . you can give a little respect for that. Whatever he did do (positive) before the relationship went south between y’all should be acknowledged. You’re saddened because you wish things were different, and you’re going to feel bad some days that he’s gone wishing y’all had a good relationship. You’re giving last respects for even holding a service for him regardless of his parenting. You don’t have to sugar coat anything, but say your goodbyes and hold your memories in heart the good bad and ugly of the relationship. Don’t dwell on regrets. Give yourself peace so you can heal and continue on with your life, and be healthy. Forgive him. It may be unknown if he was remorseful, but somewhere there was love and hopes to repair what was broken between y’all in his heart. :pray:t5:

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Maybe read the people, The dash, and let people take from it what they want

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
From the beginning…to the end

He noted that first came the date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time
That they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
Know what that little line is worth

For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering this special dash
Might only last a little while

So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash…
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent YOUR dash?

he was born… he lived… he died… the end…

Say nothing I just had my dad cremated due to his body being held for a while for autopsy his age and most of his friends dying before him and after discussing it with my sister. Also a service does nothing to help them over so it’s just a waste of money unless there’s people who would like to say goodbye.

Lots of funerals have no eulogies. Just let the priest/pastor/rabbi say something generic.

Wish him peace, and remember what good moments he had. Speak of absence of pain, and being released from his earthly woes.
I don’t speak ill of the dead, but I’m not about to portray someone as something they weren’t.

Only mention the good times you had with your father. He lived life his way like a Bull in a China shop, there are a few of them about. Sorry for your loss.