"Could you please post my question? Last night my husband and I were having intimacy in our bedroom. My husband was certain he had locked our bedroom door. Well, long story short, my seven-year-old daughter walked in on us. I felt embarrassed, and all she did was walk away. I followed her into her room, and she was upset. I tried to explain that daddy wasn’t hurting me and that that’s what two people who love each other do. I also explained that only grown people do that. I’m not sure if I explained it right. I hate she saw us, and I’m still mad at myself and my husband. Please no hate comments; I already feel like the worst mom on the planet. How can I explain to her what she saw? She’s so young, and I’m scared I didn’t explain it correctly. Has this happened to anyone else?"
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
"It happens. It’s not a perfect world. Your child will be alright and will have a good laugh later in life about it. I still pick on my parents for catching them on the kitchen table as a teenager. But you know growing up I knew my mother was loved and it wasn’t just bedroom love it was all day every day my dad showed how much his family meant and made time for us. So you being attentive last night after the episode you helped her. It’s going to be alright momma.."
"You explained it wonderfully for her age and don't feel bad my kids also have walked in on us (door doesn't lock) and we told them we were doing grown up wrestling for mommies and daddies."
"She certainly wasn’t the first and most certainly won’t be the last. Don’t be so hard on yourself!"
"I walked in on my parents when I was about that age and I NEVER forgot! From that day on I started knocking and always waited for “come in” to open the door. My children were taught to knock for that same reason because I didn’t want history repeating itself! Btw I was not scared and neither was your daughter. I believe you explained it well. Buy her a book about Where did I come from a read it together…"
"You don’t need to be ashamed you were intimate with your husband! There is nothing shameful in that. It’s an opportunity for conversation and building trust with your daughter, if you make it a shameful thing she won’t be comfortable talking to you about these things when she’s older."
"This is where teaching boundaries come in. Teach her to knock before entering especially when doors are closed. You said the right thing to her. She will eventually forget it even happen."
"Honesty is the best policy for me. My daughter is almost 6 and I believe if this happened when she is 7 I think my daughter would be mature and understanding enough for me to be honest and take this time to start the birds and bees conversation. Children can be way more mature than we give them credit. I think it's best to be honest and talk to our children like they are going to one day be an adult not like they are a baby and can't understand."
"Teach her to knock and wait for a response before coming into your room. You didn't do anything wrong, and she will be ok."
"No judgment. My son went as far as to unlock our door cause he wanted to ask us a question. We just tell him to get out and when our door is closed it’s mom and dad time and he needs to respect that. it’s ok to have boundaries with your kids. They don’t rule the roost."
"You made a mistake. You did explain it right. Don't be so hard on yourself. She will be okay. She'll probably be 16 years old, and she'll bring it up at the dinner table, and you'll all laugh! It's okay! I promise!"
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