What do you do when a friend is talking badly about you?

I would like to post a question. What do you do when a so called friend is talking crap about you behind your back? Do you confront them or cut your losses? Also what do you do when you are friends with a couple and find out one is having an affair. Do you tell the other one?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What do you do when a friend is talking badly about you?

confront & cut ties.
yes. yes you tell the other one.

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No need to confront, just cut ties. Someone elseā€™s relationship is not your business. I say that because if they split up because you said something, then itā€™s blamed on youā€¦

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Iā€™ve learned itā€™s better to cut your losses and move on. You know the truth and confronting will only cause YOU unnecessary drama.

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I had to cut ties, donā€™t need toxic people In my life

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Id confront and then cut ties with the friend

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if you have proof of it cut ties no sense in continuing that friendship

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Let them talk and just keep your distance and if they ask were youā€™ve been then tell them why.and about the other keep out of it they wonā€™t thank you in the long run. If they split they will blame you.

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Vanish. Why even bother with ā€œfriendsā€ with terrible integrity?

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Someone elseā€™s opinion about you is just that, their opinion. Cut your losses and move on. Itā€™s not worth your time. As far as the other person cheating, is speak up. The person needs to know but also keep mind, you may take backlash for it. If your spouse was cheating and your friends knew, youā€™d want to know and would be pissed if it was your husband and you found out your friend knew and didnā€™t say anything.

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Iā€™d call them out in front of the ppl they were backstabbing you to. Then cut them off,no time for toxic ppl. As for telling someone theyā€™re being cheated on is a big grey area,the messanger usually gets shot & itā€™d friend on how close I was to the ppl involved

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Cut losses. At this age itā€™s just not worth it. Shitty people can be alone

Nope. Unless you are my sister blood or not someone elseā€™s relationship is not my business. Depending on what is being said about me I usually just walk away

In my cocoon there is only me to decide my faith ,All else is just nature

I cut ties with I canā€™t stand a cheater and it breaks my heart for the cheated. In some cases you donā€™t have a choice if uts family though.

Cut ties and yes tell ur friend. Wouldnā€™t you want to know???

Cut it off with no remorse or explanation! As for the affairā€¦ā€¦ you donā€™t wants friends talking about you so donā€™t repeat what you know!

Thatā€™s not a friend. A true friend wonā€™t say anything behind your back that they wouldnā€™t also say to your face.
Would you want to know if your spouse was cheating?

Cut ties no need to confront itll only cause more problems. As for the other situation its hard to say if u tell them then itā€™s possible they can put the blame on u for them splitting up over it but then again also if u are good friends with them and donā€™t tell them then it could cause problems if they find out u knew the whole time. There really isnā€™t a right answer here because itā€™s a rough situation

If this person is someone you consider a best friend, you should be comfortable and open enough with them to tell them what is. If this person is simply an acquaintanceā€¦cut them off and move on.

Far as the other part of your question, itā€™s not your place or your business to say anything so no. Confronting will only bring YOU a messy trouble. Seen it happen too many times or the person doesnā€™t want to believe what you say. Only way this may potentially not backfire on you is if you have solid evidence. Not just word from mouth.

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Nothing. Bigger probs than gossip sis. Everyone does sometimes no 1 is perfect. Even if she/he loves you they may need to vent sometimes. If it bothers you cut ties. Im great friends with some who have gossip about me before. I give them more things to say about me. It makes them look rediculous. Frankly unless its something really big/ important /illegal the messanger should have kept to themselves. Stay out of the affair situation. You will end up with drama you dont desreve

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Do both. Confront them and then tell them to pound sand. And yes, Iā€™d tell them

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I cut losses. Which is the reason I really donā€™t have any friends that live near me at age 43. Also as someone who has been the victim of an affair, I would say something if I knew one was happening.

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As far as the friendā€¦ Did you hear personally or see messages (concrete evidence) that your friend is talking badly? Or are you third party hearing this? Donā€™t entertain ā€œgossipā€ ā€¦ if you have a problem go open minded and have a conversationā€¦

As far as the couple you guys are friends with and one is cheatingā€¦ Did you see it with your own eyes? Have concrete evidence it happened or is happening?

Anything we hear is spoken out from someoneā€™s perception. Heck eye witness testimony isnā€™t even admissible in court because itā€™s not even reliable!

My suggestion is to move forward cautiously without making your own assumptions.

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The first one just cut them out and if they want an explanation, give them a very blunt one. With the affair, I would tell them, especially if they were a friend of mine, because the one cheating should have never put me in the situation in the first place for me to find out. Of course, only day something if you know for certain, otherwise stay out of it, because it will bring you nothing but trouble if you are wrong.

Iā€™d confront the person talking shit to find out why. But Iā€™d cut my losses right after said conversation. And yes. If your friend is cheating and you know about it, let their partner know.

Get rid of them thats what I did havenā€™t seen in longtime. And they did and we got in a huge fight.and I saw her sometime between 2000 and 2008 and she got kicked out of my work only because no id

Cut your losses. By all means NOOOOOOO!!! Stay out of the mess. What happens in the dark always comes to light on its own. You do not want to be in that drama. A friend of mine was cheating for a few years. Iā€™m glad I stayed out of it. She got caught and her whole life crumbled. I kept the drama away. I tried to help a couple in my past by speaking out, I was blamed by everyone for ā€œruiningā€ their marriage. Stay out of it!!!

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It takes less energy out of you to just cut ties.

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Iā€™d tell someone if someone was having an affair tbh but thatā€™s just me xx

I can respect just cutting ties, but I would confront them and let them know they are no longer welcome in life and why. As for the affair question? I would confront the infidel and let them know that I know and give them the chance to tell their spouse, or I will. And I would give them a time limit to do it. There is no excuse for infidelity. If you want to be with someone else that is fine, but donā€™t be a puke. Stand up and have that conversation before you commit the act.

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I walk away. Never speak to them again. I donā€™t play that kinda BS

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MYOB in both cases. People that matter to you will know the truth and the others donā€™t matter. Friends donā€™t disrespect friends and real friends know that.
Do not get involved in someone elseā€™s relationshipā€¦period.

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First one isnt your friend. Second one, the most I would do is quietly confront the cheater and let them know they are being sloppy with hiding their extra curriculars and putting you in a tough spot. Ive made the mistake of telling a friend that their S.O. was cheating (with one of their friends) and she didnt believe me, believed him and the shitty friend instead. I invited a ton of drama into my life by telling her and lost a friend. If they ever ask you if you think they are being cheated on then I would be honest but I wouldnt be the one to open their eyes to the situation because if they dont already suspect it they arent going to want to believe it.

I confronted then cut them completely offā€¦
the secondā€¦ how close are u with them? Cause chances are they stay together then get pissed at you

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drop the bad mouthing friend & distance yourself from the cheating couple situationā€¦ it may backfire on you saying something to the spouseā€¦

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Walk away on both. It will hurt for while, at least they canā€™t blame you when the truth comes out, sadly.:wink::wink:

Confront them then cut ties

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for the 1st question cut ur loss n tell them to kick rocks barefooted a true friend wouldnt talk bout u for the 2nd question tell the friend bout wut u know cause that is wut a true friend would do or i would anyway

Simply turn into a :ghost: :ghost: for both

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Would you want someone to tell you if your SO was having an affair? Definitely say something.

As far as the friends talking crap. Make them aware you know and then cut your losses.

What do you want to do is the real question?

I confront them. NO need to putz around about it

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Friends donā€™t talk crap behind your back. Cut them out.

Iā€™ve been in the situation where someone was cheating Iā€™d gather proof before telling.

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Realize they actually arenā€™t a friend and cut them out of my life

Cut your losses and stay out of it

Cut ties without even notifying your friend they will know why!!!

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1st one: cut contact, screw her. And you donā€™t owe her an explanation for why your cutting contact.
2. Not your business

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Say it like it is and then cut them off!!

Protect your peace. Walk away. Neither situation deserves your time and attention. Iā€™ve cut people off for these exact same reasons.

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They are not a friend if they talk behind your back. And stay out of the other situation. It always ends poorly. Just remember, Not my circus. Not my monkeys.

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Honey, your so called friend, is not a friend at all. Walk away, say nothing, save yourself from further heartbreak.

Keep your mouth shut. Itā€™s none of your business. Drops the so called friend. You do t need her either. Find a reason to be busy when she is barging in on your life . You will be much happier when you free up all the trash.

You say it Bestā€¦ When you say NOTHING at allā€¦

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Iā€™d just mind my own and move on with my life. I donā€™t like drama and I donā€™t want to start anything with anyone.

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as for your so called friend, let it go, As for knowing a couple that one is cheating, also let it go.

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You dont need to confront them. It wonā€™t change anything. Take that as your sign, and happily move on with people who donā€™t do that to you.

As for the couple thing, you better be prepared for those friendships to go south either way. If you tell, you could lose their friendships. If you dont tell, and the friend being cheated on finds out that you knew, kiss that friendship goodbye. Just, be prepared for it to go sour either way. But, me being me, I would say something. I couldnā€™t live with myself knowing my friend was being betrayed like that, and not say something. I just dont have it in me.

Cut them off. Mind your business & worry about yourself.

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Confront the friend that is talking crap about you than cut ties with them, as for the cheating I would tell that person you know and you will be tell their spouse.

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You may need a new tribe :two_hearts::dancer:

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An old ā€œfriendā€of mine & my brother were talking behind my back calling me a narc- first of all, I donā€™t constantly talk about myself, look in the mirror, etc. I was going through depression and usually shut myself from people until I get out of it- they took it personal. I took it personal when they gossiped about me.

If you keep her as a friend, you should talk to her if you really value your friendship. I would tell on the cheater if they were doing it to the one I was closer to and felt my loyalty lies.

Cut your losses. No one has time for a bad friend or to deal with petty drama.
As for the second situation, it would depend. Is this couple close friends? Is it your close friend having the affair or the one being cheated on? If my close friend was being cheated on, Iā€™d tell them. If my close friend was doing the cheating, Iā€™d tell them how much I disprove of their actions to maybe wake them up. If I was close with both parties, Iā€™d probably call the affair out :woman_shrugging:t4: My close friends know I do not condone cheating, and I will not associate with it, but I will tell on you.

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A friend would not talk about you to others. Say goodbye
The cheaterā€¦id tell the partner. Nothing worse than finding out your friend knew and said nothing

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Let them know you know and cut your losses. With friends like that who needs enemies.

Tell the other person their spouse is having an affair. Would you want to be told? I would.

That so called friend was NEVER your friend. Move on.

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Stop talking to this person! They arenā€™t your friend.

He go up to him and said you got a problem with me we can talk about it and about having an affair a friend having affair send you a business

Letā€™s just say it this wayā€¦if someone was cheating on you, would you want your friend to tell you or go on looking like a fool??? As for the one behind your backā€¦leave them thereā€¦behind your back.

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Well once you confront the friend about talking about you to another she will know longer be your friend or a friend to the one who told you eatherā€¦ And when you tell someone that their husband is cheating on themā€¦they are not going to like you anymoreā€¦and may even call you a lierā€¦they may go as far as to sayā€¦youā€™re only telling me this so Iā€™ll leave himā€¦so that you can be with himā€¦and her husband will never want you in their lifeā€™s again for stabbing him in the backā€¦never deliver poisonā€¦unless your prepared to lose the one you gave it too.

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Do nothing, thatā€™s not a true friend

Lol if they talking shit they arenā€™t my friend obvi. So I cut my losses, and as for the cheater, Iā€™d wanna know so yes tell them. Then when they come at you tell them ā€œyou shouldnā€™t have cheated then.ā€ :woman_shrugging:t3:

Cut your losses and find real friends!

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Both oh and break their jaw

Iā€™d confront the so called friend then cut my losses. Tell on the cheater.

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If she is talking about you confront her if you still want the friendship if you donā€™t then tell all and cut her off lol

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I cut the friend but say nothing about the affair. The other will find out eventually. Itā€™ll just make you look petty.

If it was me, I would call them out first and see what they say/do. What were they taking about and in what context? Weā€™re they literally talking mad shit? If thatā€™s the case, time to cut losses.

With the coupleā€™s situation, IF IT WAS ME, I would stay quiet on that one. Most of the time in those situations, they donā€™t break up and you become the enemy and lose both of them. But it also depends on how close I am with that person too. If the person being cheated on is a GOOD friend, it would be too hard to stay quiet and Iā€™d have to say something. Hope this helps!

u call them out and then cut ties and hell yes you tell!!! u wouldnā€™t want to be having ur so having affair and someone not tell you.

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Get out of your high school mindset, cut all of them off, stay out of drama and focus on yourself. Ffs.

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Say nothing to either party and move on. If you say anything youā€™ll create drama and then even more people will dislike you. Find new friends.

Cut ties. Confronts only lead to more drama. As for the other questions! I would not say anything about the cheating situation. Saying something will most of the time backfire and you will be the bad person. If it doesnā€™t concern you leave well enough alone

Cut ties. But those that know you will not believe them and those that want to believe them will no matter what. And never tell someone they are with is cheating. It will blow back on you.

Get rid of this friend she is not worth knowing. Your silence will say it all. Block her in your phone and on social media. I have had to cut a lot of ties off with people over the years for multiple reasons. If itā€™s not bringing good to your life or causing problems they donā€™t deserve a seat at your life table. As for the friend who is having an affair that is a tough one! Are they a best friend. If it was my absolute best friend I would probably say something but if your not super close with that person I would maybe stay out of it. Their drama is not worth the disruption in your life. I know it sounds selfish but it is ok to want a drama free life. For your mental health.

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Thatā€™s not a friend. Why would you want someone like that in your life. Cut losses and move on.

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Iā€™d confront the friend and out why they talk too much, then cut em off.
Donā€™t mess around with the couples stuff, chances are they will find out. ā€¦ one day if they decided to try again and make it work then your going to be hated by both for this or that reason.

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Cut your losses . Run . Also , she will find out about the affair . Most likely this isnā€™t the first time heā€™s done this . Iā€™d keep my mouth shut

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see, i would confront ā€œmy friendā€ probably slap her face depending on what she was saying and call her a fuckin bitch to her face and never ever speak to her again, bc thsts just me
i also, would TOTALLY tell the person thats being cheated on, and drink my fuckin tea as well.
bc i was cheated on, and i had to find out the hard way.
if you know, so should they.
idc what other people say about keeping your mouth shut, thats NOT the right thing to do, AT ALL

Choose a better circle of people to be around.

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Cut losses, what they say has more to do with them, than you. Each relationship is different. So canā€™t answer that one

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Iā€™ve known a fellow ball dad has been cheating on his wife for years. Itā€™s not my business!!! Let it go and move on.

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I would confront ā€¦

I would tell ā€¦

If they are talking badly they arenā€™t your friend. Get rid of em

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Fars friend talking bad about you stop the friendship. Fars thr couple with the affair stay outta it cause 9 times outta 10 they will stay together and wont believe you then youll be the bad guyā€¦ sometimes you gotta myob!

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Say bye bye and move on with your life.if they running their dick suck a bout you they arenā€™t friends. Drop the drama in itā€™s path and it will set you free. Focus on happiness not disruption.

u do both. i went into the hospital (mental health reasons) and almost lost my kids to dcf cause my mental state, and my so called ā€˜best friendā€™ talked shit on me to my husband knowing he was pissed at me and more. when i got out after. i seen the messages (he showed me them) i messaged her and told hernto grow some mother fucking balls and lets fucking talk. never did and she blocked me. shows how great a friend she was to me :face_with_raised_eyebrow::neutral_face: better with out her bs drama anyways

Let them know how they are acting is not acceptable and cut them off. Iā€™d tell the truth about the affair because that is the right thing to do. Keep in mind if you do tell the truth and they stay together you will probably lose 2 friends.

You have terrible choices in friends ā€¦.

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If you know for sure that the guy is cheating on his patner or vice versaā€¦i would message anonymous and tell them you know and you are giving him a chance to come clean before you tell herā€¦
Before you tell your friend about the cheating you need to gave solid proof or pictures because she wont believe youā€¦