They’re going to do it no matter what so just discuss safe sex. Talk about birth control methods. Ask if they’re being forced or pressured and that they don’t have to do anything they do not want to do. Talk about consent and lack thereof. The meanings of yes and no. STDs and other diseases and illnesses. If it’s a girl, remind her to pee afterwards because it clears the urinal tract of any bacteria (this can be helpful for a boy too).
While people are furious that 12 is too young, the child will do what the child wants to do, regardless of what other people do and say. Grounding the child or enforcing strict and harsh boundaries and punishments may actually push the child away from the parent and into the arms of whoever for whatever. Kids rebel.
Slut shaming will make the child never tell you anything ever again so try not to get angry. The fact they’re coming to you and telling you is a good thing. Create an open safe space and they’ll always tell you everything when it comes to safety or bodily questions.
If you react how half these comments are telling you to, you’ll lose the child’s trust and ability to confide in you when something actually does go wrong. I was 15 and on birth control due to monstrous periods. However, even using contraception and condoms, I had a scare. I’m not sure how I would’ve survived it without being able to confide in my mum. Was she happy? Of course not. Did she shame me? Absolutely not. She was there for me and I trust her with everything. Even as an adult when things are weird or get strange, I ask my mum and confide in her. Without her, I’m not sure who I would’ve spoken to or what kind of wrong advice I’d have been given. I once had a friend who was taught you can’t get pregnant if you’re on top - which everyone knows is a lie but she had nobody else to confide in other than uneducated friends.
I hit puberty young and was introduced against my will at the age of 5 to things I didn’t understand (long story and nobody knew because I never told anyone) and this made me mature sexually a bit younger.
And to all the “parents” on here, this is why your kids don’t talk to you when they do start having sex. That’s how you end up with unwanted grandchildren and children who don’t talk to you. 
Your 12 year old should be at home
Kick them in the crotch. But maybe the parents need to educate them or they need sex education classes. It is a shame that kids have to go through all of this.
Reading the comments, I realized that most of us assumed they were talking about a girl. Would the advice be the same either way?
make sure she is on the pill & TAKES it. My 14 year old got pg, had a baby just days after her 15th birthday.
Wonder where i went wrong?
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If your child is a girl it’s time for first gyne visit. All else can happen when heads are cooler.
First have them checked for STDS, if she’s a female-pregnancy test. Then it’s time for a very firm conversation out of love, so not too harsh. You may want to consider birth control because no matter what you say they will find a way to have sex if they so desire. You could punish her and limit her freedom but the older that she gets, the more rebellious she may become. You have to get an understanding as to why she started and I hope that it wasn’t coerced. Then explain to her the seriousness of sex and it’s not just physical. You’ll then have to keep a very, very close eye on them.
Look into your parenting skills, or lack of there of.
Make sure it didn’t start from molestation
Seat her down ask her how it all happened remember a 12year child can not make decisions on sexual issues this can only mean she was forced or manipulated by an elderly person and justice must be saved
Take them to the doctor first then find out who the other person is and go to the police station that’s what I would do
Find out the age of the other party first and foremost.
Call the police 12 child abuse
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Have the other person arrested. And keep a closer eye on her. Definitely put her on birth control and educate her on what she is doing.
First go to the doctor. Full std screening and then birth control. This applies to males and females
Did they tell you? Someone else? Trusted friend? Did you find some evidence? Make sure before you accuse. Then hit with education. Lots of it.
OMG thats scary
My duaghter is with me all the time… And thats her choice…
She still isnt allowed to date.or group date.only 14
She is very loved… I talk to her constantly… She seems to understand…
But i double check often… Im very active in her life…we do things all the time…
So far its been a great strategy… God first… Very important…them do the hard work it takes to raise those babies
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The amount of mothers on here who are totally fine with a 12 year old having sex is disturbing. That is NOT normal. Holy shit. They are a CHILD.
All you sound like goodie 2 shoes!
A 12 yo isn’t a slut. She/ he have hormones raging. People get real, all the talking hugging teaching isn’t going to keep them from experimenting. Neither is the strict parenting. They are going to do as they please. Get over the perfect parent bs.
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Reevaluate the places I allow her to go for her to be alone to do this at 12
Back in the day before quick divorce,
“children did not have an opportunity to have sex”.
Mother was at home.
RULES LIKE:
7 min. to get 
from 
.
1 min. late-grounded 2 wks.
1 sec. to answer question or slap.
Leave the yard-grounded.
Age 16-4 hr. Date 2x week.
15 min. phone privilege day.
Chore was preset-not nagged.
AND WHAT DID THIS CREATE YOU SAY?
Created a 19 year old with 0 communication skills, but blurts out truth in 1 second.
Wow talk to them and let them hear the real information about sex from me.
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Maybe, be a parent and know where your 12 yr old is at most times. Don’t just turn them loose. She is to young to be dating. Just because they expect to attend all kinds of events doesn’t mean it’s right for a 12 yr old. They’re not going to like you but, your not there to be their friend your the parent! Use common sense!
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Question your own parenting skills.
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Birth control. If they liked it, they not gonna stop.
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i would worry about my sanity…i havent got a 12 year old.
Get the address of the pos she slept with and have a special little “chat”.
Report it to police If hes Over consentioul Age
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U stop them! Somehow someway they are alone and experimenting. Parent!
Make her watch 16 an pregnant
Pray, cry, talk to them then smack them into the middle of next week.
Well…since that is a crime, call the police…
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Lots of talking about, heart, health, and birth control
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Educate, educate, educate. Do not try to control them. Give them the best advice you can
Get on birth control or raise the child.
My daughter is my sisters born when she was 12. Blessing to me all her life mind you.
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12 year olds can’t ‘have sex’. That is child rape.
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#1 it is time to be realistic. Since he or she has already had sex chances are they will again unless you lock them in their room! 1st find out if they or the other party is pregnant! If not then a huge priority would be to prevent pregnancy or STDs by discussing birth control. Then get to reasons for abstinence. Good luck from someone who got pregnant as an unmarried teen the 1st time I had sex!
I had a wonderful family, went to church every Sunday, made straight As, didnt smoke, drink, or do drugs. I had a great extended family nice home working parents who loved me. It was nothing but curiosity and the feeling that it wouldnt happen to me.
Parents of kids that didnt get pregnant Don’t be judging ones whose kids did. Chances are your kids had sex just didnt get pregnant.
Talking to you Jenn Phelps!
Oh my!! Not uncommon and now they say they are bi so they can have sex with anyone!! Girls get bullied if they don’t now too!
Think where did I go wrong
The harshness and judgement is not helping anyone here. 
My mom worked for Family Services and I’m an educator in the inner city. You don’t have any clue what people go through on a daily basis so stop being so ignorant. Kids can have things happen to them or do things you don’t agree with right under your nose.
Tell the boy that she is underage and that it is illegal
Nothing in the post said this was a girl!!
First cry to myself for innocence lost and where did I go wrong . Find out who it was and have a discussion about things. Wow. I’d be heartbroken
Education, start talking find out what’s going on that a child this young is having adult interactions… be present ! Ask about their views on abortion since hormonal and non hormonal BC causes that. Do medical testing find out if bc is a safe option-
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Get her on birth control !
Ask Her Questions; Take Her to get protection, tell Her the consequences of sex, listen to Her!
Girl birth control. Boy lots of condoms & spermicidal gel incase he accidently forgets which more than likely be always.
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Do t ask for advice here. Go to a professional.
a lot of people commenting her are surmising it’s a female.
Take them to planned parenthood for information and birth control…
when a song as profane as WAP wins awards, when the hot topic in schools is gay trans bi them it and it’s ALLOWED when the media never shuts up about sex when little kids are wearing way too adult type clothes when parents want to be friends not parents, there are consequences
First off were is the parents at. If your child is 12 and having sex you got to ask where they get that from
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Chain lock her door, don’t let her out of my sight till she is 18, constantly preach that sex is not a toy, it is a lifelong commitment.
Keep a closer eye on her its called supervision
Have a good talk to them explain the what can happen
Stop blaming other people or things for there actions
Loose my FN mind and lock her in her room…
Have her tested for std’s and get her birth control.
Im only here to read all the comments from the Worlds Best Parents committee
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Firstly…WHO IS HAVING SEX WITH YOUR 12 YEAR OLD???
it could be someone of her own age or it could be a PEDOPHILE!
Big difference in how you handle this…
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Time for a visit to the gynecologist and some tough love.
Why are we all assuming we are talking about a female
One of the most interesting things I’ve found in this post, besides the overt judgment and lack of realistic perspective from people who think of themselves as “better parents” than this person, is the presumption that when they said their child “has sex”, they automatically assume it’s with the OPPOSITE sex at all (or only).
Huh. 
“ok. we can talk about this. i love you.”
Get them protection.and have a long talk with them.
Make sure you talk about contraception.
You screwed up being a parent a long time ago!
no I sit him or her down and explain about responsibility and make sure he/she understands what’s right and what’s wrong…
Punishment until she is 18, no 23 year should be having sex.
Straight to birth control!
Go directly to Dr or plan Parenthood. For education and birth control and testing
I know what the law says.
Omg the talk n birth control asap
Obviously u need to watch your children more.
Recomender for not having sex at 11
Not trying to sound like a bitch but if she’s 12 and having that much freedom to be having sex then maybe you and ur husband should change how your raising that little girl !! Sex isn’t just a game it’s serious and I know she isn’t gonna be with this one boy for the rest of her life , and you need to sit her little ass down and speak to her about sexual abuse, diseases Birth control ! Get in the program and parent
I cried, than I huged them.
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Teach her how not to get pregnant !!
Put her on birth control now.
Found out who is using them
Boy or Girl. Something sexual happened to them. They need counseling!!!
Birth control and a self worth conversation
Teach the dos and don’ts about having sex and most importantly STRAP UP!!
sounds to me like lack of responsible parenting. Get off your phone or pc and find out what’s REALLY going on in your child life. Damn my kids grew up with a half asses mom and dad but together we made one great cooperating asshole to watch and teach our kids the right way to get along in this world and how to make lemonade out of lemons.
Yes put her on the pill , but it doesn’t stop STD’s or AIDS
Beat that ass! And homeschool from now on. No phone or internet till 28
Some of these comments are concerning. Shss a young girl having major feelings and emotions and hormones. Talk to her. Dont make her feel gross or bad about it. Be open and explain the risks and safety and also the emotional toll it will hold on her. Tell her about your emotional struggles with first time boyfriends and heartbreak and fears. Talk to her. do not make her feel awful or wrong or disgusting… it will push her away 100% I was 13 when I lost my virginity to a 15 year old boy we were crazy about eachother.
Some of these comments… ca the police report. Jesus christ. Unless he is 16+ years old theyre both just kids. She made the decision to have sex just as much as he did. Dont ruin his life over it. Handle and talk to your daughter.
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Umm… Beat myself up for being a shitty parent and not raising a child with morals.
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Take my child’s freedom away. At 12 years old they shouldn’t have time away from parents enough to have sex… I would know im a horrible parent if my child was being a skank at that age.
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I knew a few people that young when they started however once they start you need to make sure they’re prepared with condoms birth control and get checked for stds since it was already done once. Make sure protection was used when it happened and talk about all the legal matters of having sex and the age limits requirements such as anyone under 12 in nj if you are 12 or older you get placed on the sex registry for life even if it’s an 11 year old with a 12 year old and then there’s anyone who’s 12 can be with someone no older than 15 or the older person gets put on the registry then 16 and 17 nj has the Romeo and Juliet law of a 4 year gap. I would also try to discourage as much as possible and keep both children in my presence at all times making sure the other parent is also aware and willing to do the same
Talk to them to see why they felt the need to have sex at such a young age. Let them know what can happen when you have sex like diseases and pregnancy. Also who was the partner, were they the same age or was it someone much older. Idk that’s too much. After that they need a check up and I’d probably talk to the other child’s parent.
If your KID is out here having sex you just failed them completely. There is nothing normal about having sex at the age of 12. There’s 12 year old girls who haven’t even had their period yet.
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Feel that I failed as a parent. I didn’t teach enough self respect, honor and self worth.
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Sounds like you need to be more active in your child’s life. 12 years old i was still very much playing video games and Pokémon or yugioh cards or playing outside.
All these rappers and the current climate are pushing sexuality on children and we all know what boredom can lead to. My girlfriend and i(shes 26 this year and i’ll be 31) just had our daughter a month ago, cuz covid lockdowns and such…
im not pushing religion when i say this but theres truth to it:
“Idle hands are the devil’s playground”
Children under like 16 shouldnt even be remotely involved in sexual conduct…
See what’s going on with them. Because some emotional need is not being met
First find out with who?? And talk to their parents cuz thats a no no and then make surw your child understands what sti’s are, pregnancy and “reasons” for having sex. Punishing them wont make them stop . Possible birth control. But also therapy, no 12 yr old is just having sex for no reason easily could be grooming, underlying sadness etc
