Hey admins, can we please knock these people who are discriminating and being hateful towards the LGBTQ+ community out of the group?
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My sisters child recently came out as non-binary. They prefer They/Them pronouns and truly appreciates questions as to how we can help. Any time I am unsure of wording, I ask. Be open and honest with what you donāt understand, and be open and honest in learning. They know itās a learning curve for everyone and based on my experience, supporting each other is the only way in this journey 
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Just want to say well-done for trying to gain a better understanding of non-binary.
Itās identify that is outside the traditional male and female identity.
Ask your granddaughter which pronouns they would like people to use and work from there 
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Non-binary simply means they are neither female or male, but someone else. They donāt want to be stuck to the boxes of a gender that society sticks genders in. Best way to love them is to ask their preferred pronouns and name. You must remember, this is who theyāve been all along.
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The way my child explained it when they came out non binary is they donāt identify as a girl or a boy. Preferred pronouns are they and them. My kidās biggest pet peeve is that their grandmother and father insist on gendering them as female. Grandma says my granddaughter or she or her in reference to the kiddo and it really upsets them. I as their mom mess up sometimes and I immediately Apologize and correct myself with using they/them.
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I live in a small town, and my daughter has explained it to me as they do not identify with any gender. Seems to be a bit popular in the junior high groups. A phase, maybe, or just a kid struggling to find their own identity. For now do your best to understand and let them have time to discover who they are.
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Some of these comments are downright mean and rude! I have a 17 year old who is non binary and they use the pronouns they/them to describe themselves. I donāt fully understand it myself but i support them no matter that because love overcomes all the other bs. Proud of you Grandma for trying to learn and make it better for them. You are a rockstar!!
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Comming out and telling youā¦it would generally be assumed you would have questions. Please direct your questions to your loved one.
It seems a fad these days and times. Best wishes
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I am genuinely curious, how does someone not identify with a boy or girl? How can you possibly be identified with āthemā? If someone doesnāt identify as a boy or girl then what do they identify with? Cells? Atoms? Energy? A lump of flesh? Iām confused.
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Hugs donāt worry most of us are confused by what any of it means. Just be patient. And donāt be judgmental. Even when or if it changes again for her. At that age emotions control most of personal identities. I have to ask my 10 year olds about this all
The time. They got it all down pat.
With my teens I just say I donāt care what rainbow you lick I donāt want to hear details. 
Which personally is true even if they are straight.
And they laugh and tell me Iām old
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Social media has caused this!!!
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Means they donāt identify as man or woman. Itās not harmful. Means they know themselves enough!
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Why donāt you just ask your daughter what she thought it meant and Google
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I would put her in therapy. Itāll help her process this. Not because thereās anything wrong with her, this just requires a lot of therapy for her to figure out what she truly feels. Yes some do hop on a band wagon, others are this way. Trauma has been found to be linked to such tendencies as well if they are jumping on a bandwagon. I agree with less social media. This is something she needs to figure out to truly be happy.
YOU need to support her. Be there for her. Help guide her through this. She came to you. She trusts you!
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It can also Gender fluid, they feel neither male or female all the time. They feel one or the other at different periods during different moods.
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Therapy so you can get her help coping with rude people she will forever deal with.
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I bet she is a kid seeking the meaning of everything going on in her life and this world and if she truly is non-binaryā¦ none of us have a place to judge. Good for you grandma seeking understanding and providing acceptance for your grandchild.
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Non binary simple form they donāt identify as man or woman, just human.
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God made one man and one woman. He decided the gender.
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A good way to let your grandchild know that you care about them is to tell them EXACTLY what you told us. That you want to be loving and supportive, but you are unsure what the word means and would like clarification. I think your grandchild will like that because it shows that you care enough to ask.
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My suggestion is to find a local LGBTQIA+ group and ask them, if you need further information beyond what your grandchild explains to you. And I GUARANTEE that if you reach out to a local group, you will be received with open arms and given the warmest and sincerest information.
You are asking in a group that you will get a lot of backlash and a vast amount of replies (some are so uglyā¦)
NO ONE wants a child to be confused. With so many identities out there now, it can be even more confusing for a child to understand their own self. Just continue to be loving and learning right along with them.
We need more grandparents like you in the world <3
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kids can be whoever they want. he/him, her/she, they/them, bi, gay, pansexual, lesbian, etcā¦ if you do not understand any of this at all you need to get educated for YOUR OWN child. do
not talk down on your child about this. or tell them itās ridiculous or ignore it. this is what they want to be!! let your kids be who they want to be!! it is their life after all. not yours.
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Kids can literally determine who they are and who they like at a very young age. Yāall are so judgmental itās truly sickening. I hope none of your kids ever come out to yāall because Iāll feel so bad for them. Technically there might only be female and male BUT that really doesnāt define who we are when we feel something differently about ourselves. Support them and show that you are there. For the record - I am a straight female but know the meanings and understand that everyone is different. Donāt make her feel bad for coming out . And honestly , screw all the momās on here trying to tell you itās a āphaseā , ātrendā or not normal 
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Brainwashed ! Take her out of public school
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You should ask her 
. Itās ok to not know what it means and if you ask her what it means you get to learn what it means to HER. Itās a good way to continue the conversation instead of awkward silence. How do you make her feel loved? You tell her you love her no matter what. You tell her you love her JUST THE WAY SHE IS and you THANK HER for trusting you with something that is SO important to her.
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Non Binary means they donāt identify as either gender.
Pansexual means they identify as both genders.
Two sides of the same coin.
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These days itās cooler to identify as anything other than what you are, this is why my kids are home schooled.
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Props to grandma for trying to understand and being as supportive as possible. Sharing This is likely a big step for them
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First step is asking your grandchild their pronouns. If they choose to have female pronouns still, then you may continue to refer to them as she/herā¦ If they decide they want to be referred to as they/them, which most nonbinary people do, then you must do your very best to respect that. Itāll be a big change thatāll take some time to get used to, but I guarantee that so long as you correct yourself when you slip up, theyāll appreciate it.
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I do not think children should be announcing or even worried about their sexuality so young. Iāve recently been told that Itās in the cartoons on television today by my 22 year old son. Even he sees that this is wrong. Says he wonāt allow his kids to watch todayās cartoons.
If kids do this and parents approve of it then theyāre asking for any possible bullying they may come with it. Itās unfortunate but there will always be bullies, thatās just facts.
This is not right nor should it be discussed in the home. Unplug from the TV, the social media and let kids go out and be kids. Boys and girls.
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There are a lot of shit comments on here but I just wanted to say itās too bad more people are not like you. Loving and wanting to support instead of judge.
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ā¦OP, THANK YOU FOR BEING AN INCLUSIVE FAMILY MEMBER!. 
for all of those being rude and speaking your āopinionsā (shit ones at best) at the term nonbinary,
try being a little less ugly hearted. this is why your closeted loved ones are afraid to be themselves.
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The best thing you can do is make sure she knows you are interested to knowā¦ ask her about itā¦ when my nieces told us non-binary and transgender they appreciated us asking and them informing us instead of just saying whatever 
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Thank you for seeking to understand. They/Them (as most ppl have said) is what they prefer, as they do not conform to either female or male. I will say, they would absolutely appreciate you directing these questions to them. It makes them feel better and that you are trying to understand. They donāt take the questions as offensive.
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The way I see it. Defined as not claiming a gender. To me though it speaks volumes to those that arenāt straight down the middle. The Tom boys and the effeminate male. It keeps them from being held to social ānormsā like I was growing up. Iām not nor have I ever been homosexual but I gave all the guys a run for their money in sports and I still hang with guys better than the females. My daughter is the same way and is desperate to find her place to fit in. They donāt realize that they only need to fit with themselves. 11-16 is so freaking hard now. Non binary keeps them out to the preverbal boxes that society builds for every label given.
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Iām nonbinary. It just means the preferred pronouns are they/them. They donāt identify as anything in particular, just human.
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To the negative comments, your mom is a h03 and I hope your kid decides to be gay. 
judge that
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What in the actual hell is this ?!?!
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A lot of you are ignorant af and it shows. gross.
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You go grandma(: The fact that your open to hearing her and researching it yourself to help her speaks volumes on how much you love just stay open minded and ask your grandchild to explain what it means to them.
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I see alot of piece of shit ass parents in here oh my god
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Some of you OLD ladies need to just sit down and go knitā¦
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Some of you are downright nasty. You donāt have to agree with anything anyone else does and I donāt know what gave you the impression that anyone cares AT ALL how you feel about this personās grandchild. If you havenāt got anything constructive to say, go be miserable elsewhere PLEASE.
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Non-binary or genderqueer is a spectrum of gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or feminineāāāidentities that are outside the gender binary. Non-binary identities can fall under the transgender umbrella, since many non-binary people identify with a gender that is different from their assigned sex.
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You tell them that you support them no matter what. Ask what pronouns they prefer. So if they prefer she/her,or he/him, or they/them.
If they want to ok shopping for new clothes to hel pl them feel more comfortable in their identity. You could do that too. Take them to lunch or dinner. Let them know they are supported and loved no matter what.
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I want to point out that the OP is looking for advice for THEIR grandchild on how to be inclusive.
This is not a post asking for YOUR approval.
You donāt have to be an ally to the LGBTQIA community, but the OP didnāt ask for your opinion on that. So kindly, stay in your lane and off this post so people that can actually offer the advice asked will be heard.
OP - youāre already better than most people asking for help. You obviously really love your grandchild! Non-binary people tend to use they/them pronouns, but I bet your grandchild would gladly clarify their preferences if you simply ask.
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Doesnāt feel either female or male
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She doesnāt confirm to gender rules. It may make for a good conversation now and something to be talked about again at 18 and 21. She will become more defined on what this means over time. Itās a personal journey. IE They are a student of mechanical engineering at the top of their class. Not a female student at the top of her class. Replace female with letās say black. It takes away from accomplishment in away as saying unequal based on gender or race or religion. She can dress like a boy or a girl anyway she chooses. āSheā is simply āpersonā āhumanā āequalā this may play an impact on sexual orientation like I said itās a personal journey.
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I love that you want to make sure she knows thatās sheās loved and accepted. Thatās so important. Nonbinary means that a person doesnāt fit into one specific sex/gender role or another. Ask your grandchild questions if you want to understand more about their personal journey. 
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Let her know i love her and let her know ur not sure what she needs. Assure her that whatever she needs you got her
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lets just acknowledge the fact that you are asking for help on how to support her since itās new to you. YOU. ARE. AMAZING. 
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My 18 year old daughter literally just did the same thing. She wants to be called they them and not her.
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Being Non-Binary can mean a number of things. Itās an umbrella term covering a wide range of gender identities. In short though it means that they identify as something other than what typically falls under the binary of āmaleā or āfemaleā. Nonbinary people have existed for a long time, and just recently has it become more widely accepted with the evolution of our culture. I hope this helps.
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Most people that are saying this is ok at the age of 13 are the same people that use anxiety and depression as a crutch, think everyone should get a trophy so no one is offended and think its ok to be āsexlessā on your birth certificate. Our whole world has gone to shit
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I got told stuff completely different than what some of you post by a non binary person so now Iām really confused. Iāll just call them what they want to be nowa days. I thought it was male /female they want to opposite (im talking about A whole not just non binary people.
You tell me what your name is ill stick with that cause Iām gonna go nuts trying to figure all these damn new terms and most are the same just a different word. Especially the new slang which is dumb but whatever. As long as your happy thats all the matters.
Hope I didnāt offend anyone as thats not my intention
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Itās so nice that theres still families that want to respect their owns pronouns, and actively try to understand things they dont instead of being ignorant because you dont understand and have no desire to learn. Itās super refreshing. The best thing you can do is just try to be there for them and ask them what theyād like to be referred to
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Them/they not she/her or he/him.
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There are many different ways to be nonbinary. You can ask, words are good. Your grandchild may prefer to not be called a granddaughter, for example, but may not mind that at all. She may now prefer to use āthey.ā Or not. Some NB people feel like both genders, neither gender, somewhere in between, or even different genders at different times. Again, you will need to start a conversation. Love and acceptance are what all children need.
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It takes a lot of courage to come out. Speaking from experience! This is an amazing thing.
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Ronda Corbitt needs to gtfo of this group. ADMINS.
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Ask your granddaughter. Bet she doesnāt even know.
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Youāre beyond amazing for supporting āherā through this
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Honestly I feel my youngest is going to be gay when she is older or a high chance of transgender.
So for people who say children canāt identity this at a young I call bs. Because what I see daily is a wonderful thing and experiencing it along with my child. Until she figures out what direction she is going
She is 9 it has not been a conversation deeply but a conversation and why she likes to dress and act like a boy?? Thank goodneess(knock on glass save my ass) hormones have yet to kick on. So by that time if no change happens then its obvious. And I will still love and support her anyway
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I am sure you have received very informative definitions of non binary. I would like to only add how this makes me so happy. You are an amazing human being and your granddaughter is so lucky to have you in their life. They will face so much ignorance as you can see from some of these posts and she will need someone like you by their side.
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This is the cutest post. You are why grandmas are the glue to the family 
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As the mother of a FTM child and oldest sister to someone who also identifies as non-binary, take their lead on it. Ask them what pronouns they prefer. While my baby sister identifies as NB, she prefers female pronouns only because that is what she is used to. Also ask her if she has a preferred name or if she is OK continuing to use her birth name. Acceptance is key here. Acceptance is extremely important. They will face a LOT of hate and ugly but knowing that they have a safe haven to go to will make a huge difference. Also, once they know they are accepted, you will see them flourish in ways they never have before. Also, please find them a gender therapist to help them talk through their feelings and get a better understanding of who they truly are.
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From Google:
The idea that there are only two genders is sometimes called a āgender binary,ā because binary means āhaving two partsā (male and female). Therefore, ānon-binaryā is one term people use to describe genders that donāt fall into one of these two categories, male or female.
Good luckā¦ 
They just need love and understandingā¦ 
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Let your children be who they choose and one day it will all work out ā¦ Remember there are people who have to children who afraid to be themselves end up being depressed because there not allowed to express who they are and how they feel and usually it ends bad ā¦ I donāt ever want my children to feel like that they all matter and I hope they choose whats best for them ā¦
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She is 13. Perhaps itās a little early? Education is important, sometimes at 13, you do what seems āpopularā.
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Theres no such thing. Shes mentally ill and needs help
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People, the lady was asking for help! Stay on topic! I wasnāt aware of the term either. I understand her confusion. Itās a new term for me too. Whatās happened to courtesy and kindness? Try to be supportive and help her.
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Just love her and be there to support her. It doesnāt matter how you or anyone else feels because weāre not her. People will never understand some things and thatās okay. As long as you continue to love her unconditionally, donāt shun and/or bash her and be there for her is all that matters.
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Iām googling it right now ā¦lol
Non binary doesnt identify as male or female. They identify as a personā¦ a human being. They/Themā¦ Also you are the best Grandma. This makes me love you without knowing you lol
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Non-binary means different things to different people. Iād ask your kiddo what it means to them personally 
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I love that children now know they can just be themselves! They have the vocabulary to describe themselves and I am so proud of the young people who can do what they do! And so impressed with the fact that they are all way more accepting than previous generations! I never would have had the courage they display and I am in awe!
Im hoping it relieves so much of the confusion and angst of previous generations!
And good for you for trying to learn and accepting! Xx
Your grandchild hit the jackpot with you!
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I love that youāre asking this question. 
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Admins need to take out some of this trash.
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Iām sure everyone has given you great advice but I also wanted to add that sitting with her and talking about it might help as well. So she can feel like you want to learn and it might be a great bonding moment for you both
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Non binary means they donāt identify with male or female, nor do they identify as gay or straight. They are who they are and they love who they love with gender not playing a factor in that. I saw another comment that suggested therapy, just because being a teenager is hard enough as it is and obviously bullies donāt grow up. Look into a therapist that isnāt going to try to convince them thereās something wrong with them. Let them know that if they donāt feel comfortable with that therapist you can find a new one.
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You just ask her what it means to HER, and then you continue to love her
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Iām appalled by the trash parents in here and the shit thatās being said. I bet yāalls teenage(or younger) kids hate to come to you for anything. Have fun having them despise you growing up .
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You asses do realize you are talking about a 13 year old right?? Maybe that should is confused, itās not your place to tell her thatā¦ itās not your place to bash herā¦ what they hell is wrong with you? Seriouslyā¦ no wonder kids act the way they do with bashing and bullying other kids, they see adults doing it and think its ok
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Ask her to help you understandā¦ that way she hears your efforts to support her through understanding.
As a parentā¦ Love doesnāt just go away, and we donāt know everything, especially with all these termsā¦ least she will know that your doing your best to understand and Want to learn more about her.
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God or anybody help the children of all these people saying the ākid āneeds helpāā and theyāre ābeing pushed into something unnaturalā and āonly two gendersā.
Suicide rates of youth are so much higher in the families who just canāt accept their LGBTQIA+ children.
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I think she has multiple traits and hobbies that both girls and boys do, and likes girls and boys? I could be completely wrong, but I see nothing wrong with young ones not wanting to be labeled and for wanting their views and feelings understood. While it could be a phase, donāt treat it like a joke. She might just be a tomboy, or she could be feeling stuck in a body thatās not hers. Youāre awesome for caring.
Itās saying you arenāt identifying as either male or female I think
Yall need to chill and not tell a mother how to love and accept her child.
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Love that you want to learn and support your granddaughter. Never stop.
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Non-binary is a spectrum of gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or feminineāāāidentities that are outside the gender binary. Non-binary identities can fall under the transgender umbrella, since many non-binary people identify with a gender that is different from their assigned sex. I would personally ask them what you could do to help make them feel accepted! And respect pronouns! Ask what they are comfortable with (he,she, them) just show some support for them youāre a great grandmother and it is great that you are showing support and acceptance!
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Keep conversation open and be there when you are needed. My daughter came out as gay, then bi, now likes just boys again. What does she identify with? It doesnāt matter-because she knows she has support with whatever she chooses to be. The best way to answer your question is to ask questions & be supportive.
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I have a non-binary friend and they prefer to be called they, them etc. they donāt identify as a gender and theyāre one of the best people Iāve met 
their birth name is Stephanie but they go by Steph, they really just want support so you supporting your granddaughter is awesome!
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It means they are not identifying as one gender. To show support, ask for preferred pronouns and how you can be the best support for your grandchild.
And to the rude comments in this post, eff off. If you canāt off help, scroll past then. Itās not you like or family. Your negativity is not needed for this wonderful grandma
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My child recently came out as non-binary as well. I still donāt completely understand, so I ask questions but not a ton at once. I thanked her for telling me and we continued the night as planned. I constantly tell her I love her & always will. Just be there for her/them and donāt let it change your relationship. Just like all teens, knowing they have family that loves & supports Themis the absolute best thing you can doš
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I canāt help but wonder after reading some of the comments here: why do so many people make such a big deal of gender reveal parties in this day and age? 
Just a little thing that popped into my head. Donāt hate me.
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Can I ask you to hug your granddaughter from me ? My son is gay and he told me when he was 10, so when they come to terms with it, age doesnāt matter, I accept him and love him and want him to be happy. Iām proud of my son and proud of you for being brave enough to question this. As well as your granddaughter. God Bless you and your family. And best of luck always.
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Looking at these comments itās no surprise why suicides in children are so high. Definitely noticing a pattern of who are the hateful ones.
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I think that they do not identify as either gender. Having the preference of going by āthey/themā instead of him/he or she/her. My stepdaughter first came out as a lesbian, now transgender. They were very into the masculine dress style, now more more feminine style. And has a boyfriend. Sometimes I get the feeling and thoughts that they are only 13 and might just be confused and trying to find themselves. Despite that honestly it does confuse and puzzle me but I do my best to try not to misgender and call them by their preferred name.
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also yāall are all entitled to your opinions just donāt be all shocked when people tell you invalidating your kidsā feelings because you donāt like them makes you shitball lol
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