My husband stays home with our 9 month old twins. I had just got promoted when we found out I was pregnant. We did not have reliable child care so he quit his job so I didn’t have to. I also go to school full time, on top of working full time… when I tell you that I do not have to lift a finger if I didn’t want to. This man is beyond perfect. But we still split all the household chores and I take over with the babies as soon as I am home from work and finished with my school work. Even when he was working and I was pregnant, he literally pulled my slack and done everything because they zapped every ounce of energy I had. I would come home from work and go straight to the couch. He would cook for me, made sure I had clean clothes for work, he even bathed me in the last few weeks of pregnancy when I could barely move. Regardless of how much he works, your job is just as hard… and going to school too! He needs to step up and be a man.
My husband handles most of the daily chores when I work m-th and I handle them when he works f-sun. If he’s not helping during the week he should definitely be picking up the slack on the weekends
I stay at home and 2 of our 3 kids are in school daily. One is 16 years old lol my man still helps out.
Now on days he works, he doesn’t do much. He helps pick up the living room while I bath the two little kids, then he puts on their pajamas while I shower. But he literally doesn’t get home until 7:30pm. He works 7am-7pm. On his days off he does laundry, dishes, sweeps, picks up, mows grass…. All that. He enjoys cooking 
he doesn’t like to do homework with the kids or read to them lol and he doesn’t wipe off counters and stuff… or mop. Otherwise he does everything I do and more.
My man works his ass off, talking 70 hrs a week. But he still helps without being asked to, if he sees I’m slacking somewhere or something needs done he just does it and he never nags to me about it not being done. He also plays with the kids and sometimes cooks dinner. We’re a team and we do this together. Try talking to your s/o about it and tell him you don’t feel he’s helping enough and you need more support from him.
My husband works 9-5 or 6 just depending but most days he’ll have supper ready when I go on my lunch break and he also does the house chores if I I’m too tired too. He cooks 5 days a week (since I don’t get off till 10) and I cook the other two if we don’t get take out.
When does he play with his children?
My husband does all the cooking and all the outside household chores.
Coming home from work and trying to adjust can take a lot out of some people. I happen to be one of them. I absolutely NEED about 30 minutes to unwind and get mentally prepared do what needs done, which sometimes still don’t get done. But I’ve also been a stay at home mother and that’s just as hard and exhausting. You both need time to unwind. And no it’s not always convenient after the kids are asleep to get your me time because by then you’re too tired to do anything. He can absolutely help out more and give you your break too. He gets a break at work for his lunch correct? You didn’t. Dinner should be your break time and he worries about feeding the kids and cleaning up.
“I am trying to see if mine is in the right or not”
How about have a grown up conversation about your relationship and responsibilities. If you think he should help more, just ask 
If you think you need more mommy time… ask him
How he responds and goes from there is another step to being grown ass people.
Communication.
Absolutely not. Helping pay for the home he also lives in, and the kids he made does NOT exempt him from helping.
My husband works 2 jobs, I work 30 hrs a week. My job, as a school bus driver lets me bring kids to work with me so I bring them to school and home. They come to work with me…on errands after work with me. I cook most of the meals. Im 32 weeks pregnant.
Husband will still cook, do laundry, bring trash out. Do dishes. As well as plan nice meals on his days off on his grills and smoker. Can he do everything I need every day? No. The man works from 5am to 9pm some days. Im not unreasonable. He tries. I see it.
He does all the things I do… I am not his mother
He cooks and cleans too. Might bitch at me most of the time. But i also have my hands full with our toddler and 7 almost 8 month old and im 5 and a half months pregnant. 
When I was the stay at home with my ex husband (2 kids with him) I did it all. Even down to mowing the grass and doing the trash… current boyfriend does something if asked. He works 7a(leaves by 6 at the latest 45 min drive) out at 4(home by 5 m-f) I work 6p-12a 5x a week.
My husband works his tail off over the road. When he’s home he helps me w everything and even lets me relax, while completely taking over. No it’s not right at all. It’s actually selfish. He needs to learn teamwork makes the dream work
Nope nope nope. My husband is military and works 5x sometimes 6x a week and from 5 AM- 4 PM. When he comes home, he’s on kid duty until our daughter goes to bed (which is 7:30). He helps with dinner, bath and bed time! Even on weekends he’s on full daddy mode bc time isn’t always promised. I’m currently a SAHM so I mostly do the cleaning/cooking, taking our daughter to school/home from school and sometimes after school activities. At the end of the day, it takes two to make a baby. You need your break as much as he does!
We do it all 50/50. We both work full time. We share the household chores, he gets home before me so he cooks dinner, I do the clean up. He does his personal laundry, I do my personal laundry and we share the rest. We work in the yard together. We split all the expenses too. It works for us and always has. We wouldn’t have it any other way. It was discussed and agreed in the beginning…. 18 year’s ago. We do it together and our weekends are for relaxing and fun times…. It works 
Nothing. I don’t have one
Mine does a lot. We literally both work full time and both tackle the house and yard on our mutual days off. Team work makes the dream work
We split what needs to be done that didn’t get done during the day.
Mine pretty much does a ‘male clean’. But he isn’t a slob. I don’t mind video games just as long as they clean up after themselves first BEFORE they sit to play.
We both work full time. My husband grocery shops, cooks dinner, cleans up after dinner and does his laundry, sometimes mine and the towels. I did all of that and take care of the kids up until 3 years ago and then he took all that over.
Well a lot of the guys think that way, but a lot of the younger parents, they seem to help each other, how bout your mom can she help u
My husband he cooks, does food shopping. He hates dishes though and he loves to take his kids places.
I’m sure if you had a job and worked all day, it would be the same. Maybe sit down and have a serious conversation on what you’d like him to do. Being a SAHM is a job as well however you are allowed days and time off like any other job.
Both of you should read books or watch Jimmy Evans videos on YouTube
If you don’t like that he’s not helping. And he doesn’t seem to acknowledge u also need a break then it will never work. All my husband has to do is trash. He waits till there’s 3 full trash bags or it starts smelling threw the house b4 he takes it down. I work 45 hrs a week he also works 45 hrs a week. Helps coach our daughters softball he works midnights an I work days. I wish he wood help but I don’t hold my breathe. He pays the bills and gets kids after school sometimes does there homework w them. I do my best to manage the rest.
I feel like the stay at home parent is responsible for the kids, and whatever they can manage around the house while the other parent works, but once said parent is home …house and kids are equally BOTH parents responsibility. Work together to get stuff taken care of, then he can unwind from his day at work…while you unwind from your day as well!
Husband works from 5am-6pm, during the day I get our Boys ready for their day, School, Kohanga etc. I do everything that needs to be done in a household plus dinner unless having takeout. Husband doesn’t help with clean up & our Kids are washed before he gets home, id love for him to just help clean up after dinner but he just goes & scrolls on his phone 
I hit the jackpot…my hubby works AND helps with most of the housework.
When you have kids it’s a team effort. It does not matter the role you play durning the day.
My husband works a demanding job, and has an extensive on call schedule as well.
He APPRECIATES that he comes home to a clean house and dinner but it is never expected. If there is a day that he comes home and nothing is done, then he will do it without hesitation.
I do try to be respectful though , if I know I’m having a rough day I will let him know that he’s on his own for dinner or to pick us all up dinner and then he will take that as his queue to pick up / do dishes whatever he can when he gets home. However, if he were to come home and not do anything but bring food. I would leave it alone and take care of it when I feel better because I know that he helps out when he can/when he has time and it’s possible to both have a bad, tiring day.
It’s just a matter of balance and respect for your significant other. If you can both come to an understanding that it’s no more ones job than the other and not about “well I do this and that so you should do This and that” or “I do more” or “my work is tougher than yours” but that it’s actually about team work and doing your best to help each other out on the tough days.
50/50. During the work week I take on more but while I’m at work over the weekend his got the kids and does the washing/folding, yard work if needs doing, vacuum and tidy the house. He takes the trash out daily and as soon as he walks in the door his got his dad hat on and ready to play with his boys. Wasn’t always like this but we both work so it’s 50/50 until the kids are asleep.
That’s who your man is suck it up 
Typical male! Sallie Harrington
My husband and I both work. He and I split everything. But even when I was a sahm and he worked, we split it. Being a sahm IS a FT job. I cook one night, he cooks the next (and so on) we take turns washing the dishes and clothes, he does trash and lawn, I do bathrooms… A marriage is a partnership. It is not a 50/50 thing. It is 100/100. That’s the only way it will work.
My husband is the one that cleans the house. It’s always been something he’s done. He wakes up for work, gets ready, and then does dishes before he leaves. He runs the vacuum, mops, and runs the carpet cleaner when he feels like it lol. He’s always rearranging the furniture too. He’s always been a clean freak the only thing he doesn’t do is cook, but he would if he absolutely had to. He also does laundry
Sounds like you married a kid…video games are not a priority you and the kids and the house are the priorities… Mine works 12 hours and comes home and helps with dinner and kids and animals and everything else…
He could help you with the kids while you are cleaning up, Bath time and story reading and help to put them to bed. Even though he works during the day, children love both mum & dad doing those things its called family time, And would help you because you are working at home as well.
Ah nope. Break that shit!! That’s what caused 
in my relationship. He now only plays on occasion. He needs to an important roll in the home and with the children not just the ATM machine. With out any other stuff he’s just another problem
Mine works outta state alot and I’m here holding everything down with our 12 year old and taking care of my bedridden mother. When he’s in town, he does various things but he’s also entitled to catch up on sleep in his own bed. He hasn’t always helped out as much as I think he should but it does take two to make a happy home.
My husband works while I stay with the kids and do homeschool. He comes home and makes dinner most nights. He also bathes the kids and helps get them to bed. Kids are 3 and 5.
Me and my husband work together and when home I do all the laundry and and he does most of the cleaning and we take turns cooking.
My hubs watches the kids at night while I’m at work. I am home all day while our kids are in school and he is at work. He helps clean, and do the dishes works outside on the yard. I know I am truly blessed with him. Not many like him left
Well I work in construction 6am 5:30pm and when I get home I help with what ever needs doing …. Sure I’m tired and want to rest but my partner and I don’t get to rest till the kids are in bed then once everything is done we sit down and watch some tv or whatever and relax. Kids are a full time job plus some…. I know this and do what I can
I work while my boyfriend stays home with the pets
when i was a sahm i would do all the cooking and cleaning, no matter what.
my childrens father would come home and play with the kids a bit then get on the game and relax. only thing he would have to do is take out the trash when he got home.
now that im at working mom and my boyfriend who is not the kids father, we both doing the cooking and cleaning when we get home!
i feel like from both perspectives, if your a sahm you should do all the cooking and cleaning. if your a working mom also then yes you deserve help in that aspect!
That’s a no from me. Like on the weekends, sure. It’s double hard on you with twins. Either he grows the F up and help out or girl you might as well be single. You already are pretty much
Let’s face it with 8-5 job he wouldn’t be able to afford nanny, cook, cleaner and maid, so he has to take care about house he lives in and children he has. You by staying at home basically save the money you both would have to pay for childcare, so in my opinion its earned money. If he doesn’t think he has any duties he can pay someone to do it for him, younare not his free help.
Sorry but if you think 8-5 is him working all day you need to call him out on not helping out at home because I work more then that and help out way more then that
Mine works a more than full time job and still helps me with the kid, household chores and anything else I need. I work part time and study full time.
8-5 isn’t a bad schedule at all. He can definitely give you a hand.
Please stop asking. Start expecting. Housework for men isn’t optional.
My husband cooks, vacuums, helps me with laundry and puts dishes away! We have summer lawn care, but he also shovels/snow blows during the winter.
After retirement he keeps the yard up cooks breakfast and vacuums we share the work he even helps with the laundry I think I’ll keep another44 years
He needs to help with the kids as he is their dad.
Not a damn thing but make a mess and then says he didn’t. He works of course and I work 40+hrs in 6 days only 1 day off and I have to do everything around the house. Cook, clean , pay bills and shop for whatever we need. It takes him 2 days to cut the grass( one day for the front, the other day for the back) and he only cuts it when he sees that our neighbors have done theirs. And then complains about it the whole time because he actually had to do something. I have to literally remind him every week when it’s trash day and if myself or the kids don’t put the trash in the can outside he won’t roll the can to the curb. He says that it’s not his job to go from room to room to get all the trash, if we want it taken out then we have to already have it to where all he has to do is roll the big can to the curb. I can go on and on but at least u get to stay home with the kids. I have to do everything AND work a full time job.
He’s selfish. Hire some help with his money
We do the chores together to split the workload, like today he washed the dishes and cleaned the walls and cabinets while I cleaned the bathroom, fridge, and stove. He had already cleaned the hallway and living room while I was at work.
My hubby did not like housework.
Guess I’m Lucky my husband worked 5 12 hour shifts a week. Also did dishes bbq ued Vaccummed. walked 3 shepherds daily. ETC…Thats a marriage of 32 + years 40 year old child with grandkids. <3 kick him in the butt or kick yourself
Is he helping on his days off?
50/50. You’re doing online classes. If you didn’t and was just home with the kiddos then yeah it’s on you but since you’re doing that he needs to jump in too as much as he can. We work together on ours and we both work.
My other half does the same thing . I don’t get help either once I get dinner done and he get back up and plays video games. I feel ya! It sucks not getting help
I’ve seen this fight so many times over the years. The way my husband and I resolved it, we rotated. One night he had the baby and one I did. The one who didn’t have the baby usually did dinner and clean up. I worked 6a-5p pretty much and he had the baby all day.
Having a job does not excuse you from household chores. He lives there too and should be doing his part. You’re supposed to be a team.
I’m blessed to have a man to go to work from 630 an to 3 pm and when he get some he immediately gets to taking after our daughter nd sons. I honestly feel for him because he just goes and goes for the simple fact we have things to do and they need to be done so we do em. He cleans he cooks and he takes care of the kids as do I but the only difference is he works and I don’t I stay home during the day with the kids. I tell him to juss chill nd relax and he is the one who chooses to work on the house and really everything productive to stay on top of things. He bought a ps5 and doesn’t even play because he’s always doing other things with us as a family. Matter of fact… writing this out he deserves a surprise. I’m going to schedule us a spa day. We just bought a new home so he literally took Thursday and Friday off work for closing, packing, and moving didn’t sleep for 48 hours after working all day to get it all done and he is still at it until tuesdbecause he took off Monday too. I literally have a super man Kris LeBlanc I love you babe.
My husband goes above and beyond . I’m so thankful for all his help
You are not alone… mine is the same and we have 7 kids
Mine doesn’t do anything for the house, yard and he only makes a mess for me to clean up after him and can’t even hit his ashtray and I have asked him to stop smoking in the house I have a full time job @ my mobile home park that’s like 24-7 days a week. I told him yesterday he could just leave, take his car, his truck and the 5th wheel I’m paying for and then he looked at me like I’m crazy. He’s 81 I’m 72 and I’m sick of him and his ways been with him 35 years and he has always been this way. Today is my day to try to relax and I had to cook clean up and now I’m relaxing he goes to bed @ 9pm and hogs the TV in the living room. Am I wrong for telling him to just leave? Idk
Always a battle. 4 kids he works 6 days a week right now I know he’s exhausted and I don’t bug him too much about house stuff right now unless j really need some help and even then 
My partner wakes up before our daughter and myself. I wake up to coffee already made, trash taken out, kitty litter changed, and our daughter’s needs taken care of. Then he goes to work while I stay home with our daughter. If I don’t have all the chores done before he gets home, he either spends time with our daughter so I can get things done, or he gets things done while I spend time with her. We take turns on making dinner too. He has never gone straight into doing things just for him after work, instead we work together to make sure our daughter is happy, and to make sure the home is clean. Then we game or watch shows after our daughter goes to bed.
He should be helping. When you sit down he sits down. Not before.
He works, cleans, cooks & helps with kids
Unfortunately, there are still a number of Neanderthals around who think that because they hold down a job outside the home, that’s all they have to do. The lady of the house, well it’s perfectly fine if she’s still doing chores at midnight, as long as his Royal Highness doesn’t have to lift a finger to help.
If video gaming doesn’t pay well, turn of the damned computer.
Everybody lives there.
Everybody is responsible for the home to work.
I made that clear before marriage.
Yeah nope depending on job Some guys work very physically demanding jobs and I get that but 99 percent of them don’t give it their all everyday and we all know this in that case hell no you help or you starve or I’m sending the kids after you lmao and they are way worse then me haha
Nothing he’s so lazy especially since my husband doesn’t exist
Both parents have a mandatory obligation to work equal amount of hours. So if one is cooking and cleaning, the other better be doing some sort of work too.
My husband works in a factory 5am-2pm he gets home and immediately helps with the kids and/or asks if I wanna go do something alone he also will split bath time duty and picks up some here and there. On his days off he does yard work and more then 50% of the parenting
He needs to be doing more. He lives there and those are his kids too. Yes he worked, but it’s his responsibility to help take care of your home and you kids. My husband works all day and comes home and cleans and helps with the kids. I make sure the majority of it is done throughout the day, but it’s not just my responsibility. As it isn’t just yours.
Yes he should help around the house
my husband would work 10 hours then come home and want to fix me dinner because i had been with the kids all day and he thought that was harder than his job in the factory, and if he saw me vacuuming dusting etc etc he would say baby sit down let me do that for you and i would say but you worked all day/week or whatever and he would say i live here too, it doesnt hurt me to clean and cook bathe the kids or whatever needed to be done , his brother is the same way with his family, his favorite saying to his friends that didnt do their share in their homes was remember no man was ever shot doing the dishes , we were married almost 45 years when he died , i miss him every day, if your husband values you and your relationship he will do his fair share
Mine comes home from work and sits on the couch, or lays on the bed, and watches TV and plays on his phone. He waits til the last possible minute when the trash can and recycle are overflowing to put everything out. He took over the dishes because he hated seeing them sitting there when I didn’t get to them. And now he lets them sit for sometimes weeks at a time before he washes them, then has a fit the whole time he’s cleaning them. We’ve had plenty of arguments over it.
My take… if you feel like/are treated like a single mama, may as well actually become one. One less person to take care of
My man helps with absolutely everything, even meal prep and dishes.
Hire a cleaning service to help out.
He should help with the kids when he gets home. Even though you don’t work being a full time stay at home mother is harder than working an 8-5 job. I know I have done both.
Mine works 10 hours 3rds and still comes in every morning, takes our oldest to school, and sits with the babies—letting me sleep in. Once I’m up, he rests and then gets the oldest from school while I pick up the house, switch out laundry and start dinner. Once he leaves at 5, I’m on my own but I couldn’t do it without him.
Your guy sounds selfish and honestly, I’d hire a nanny to be there with you during the day on his dime. Maybe he’ll get the point then.
Mine works 7am-7pm & I work 4pm-8pm. My grandmother watches them between 4pm-7pm. I watch the kids when im home and clean up the house as much a possible. He does the dishes and we take turns doing the laundry. & we make the kids clean their own room with checking by us of course. We have 2 girls, ages 4 and 3 and I’m pregnant with another girl. We all live here, we all can help keep the house in order.
If my SO came home and played video games he’d find out very quickly that he was my SO no mo.
conversation … he needs to help
Mine helps with what I need (moving/lifting heavy stuff usually) and outdoor work and fixing things that need to be fixed. He also comes to walk the dogs with me. But I don’t need him to help me with daily cleaning tho. I’m 6 months pregnant and I can still do all that since he works 7am-6pm ish and I’m home all day. He also does all the BBQing when we decide to BBQ. He provides for us and treats me amazing. How we do it works for us.
I was on the fence until I saw the part about the video games. Since he does work outside the home, I would not say chores should be divided 50-50. But no way would I tolerate a grown man sitting around playing video games while you work. The least he can do is entertain the children and keep them occupied, so you can have a little down time.
Every household is different. My bf works all day. I stay home and homeschool his (our) daughter and take care of my (our) 2yr old grandbaby I do all the household cooking and cleaning, dinner is ready when he gets home and so is his lunch since he comes home for lunch. He does anything around the house if I ask him. I personally don’t feel he should help around the house because he works hard to support us
Hand him the kids get a neighbor and go for a run, take a break, he doesn’t get it but will soon as you step out
He is not babysitting if they are his kids!
As I explain to my teen and adult children, if you are contributing to chores (eating food off plates that then need cleaning, have dirty laundry, drop things around the house and don’t pick up) you have to contribute to clean up. You make part of the mess, you have to clean part of the mess! Your hubby has no problem eating the food you cook, so it should be his job to clean the plates and at the least watch the kids so you can do it in peace. You are not his maid, you are his PARTner so he can do part of the chores too. Every day jobs like washing and wiping dishes could be shared between the two of you which is a great time to have a catch up chat as you are both together working. Any adult that contributes to a mess is required to do the cleaning of the mess (and not petty things like wash just his clothes or dishes)
Yes, he should be. It’s part of parenting. He needs to bond with his kids and they need him to do so.
when he takes his next vacation, leave him home alone with the kids and you take a break whether a day a few days or a week. He should be left with the kids and a list of chores and what needs to be done each day. See what happens when you get home.have a talk and clear the air. Until he has to do it all he will never see your side of the story so dont try and talk to him about it until he has done your side of things
Mine works 12-14 hours every day and still helps with all the cleaning and helping with our 3 boys. Your hubby needs to step up.
When my man was working before he randomly started having seizures (we are in the midst of finding out why) he hasn’t done a single thing around the house unless he needs something or it’s our pot plants it’s been almost 5 years
My partner works 7:30-4:30 Monday to Friday, I work every second weekend & every Monday & Tuesday 3-10, he does most of the house work, washing and all that & does the bedtime routine with the 2 year old, while I deal with the kids 2 & 8 but on days I work he does dinner bath as well as Cleaning up… he rarely complains that the house is a mess when he comes home from work, he knows the toddler is hard work so he just tidies up without complaining
Don’t let a man walk all over you…while he sets on his ars.and plays video games…game over…buddy… Cause two can play at this game…get some fast food at McDonald’s a few times a week and take a break…you deserve it…