The way I look at it he cab relax after the kiddos go to be. I’m a sahm, and I have 2 out of my 4 kiddos who aren’t in school, so my focus is on them, I make dinner keep the house path clear ( I’m not picking up toys every 5 seconds- 10 second tidy happens 2x a day, nap time and bed time.) I keep up with the laundry. He could help you get the kid ready for bed, washed up after dinner, help put food away.
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I’m a sahm with 2 kids and hubby is gone from 5am-5pm four or five days a week. He comes home and is 100% in dad mode. He tells me to go take a break a relax for a bit before I need to start dinner. He will feed the baby and bath him on bath night. Some nights he cooks dinner. He does his own laundry since in do my own and the kids. He cleans the kitchen after meals. Helps take care and clean up after the pets. Week nights he’ll help clean up the toys after the kids are in bed and on the weekends he helps deep clean the house. He does a ton for us and I’m so appreciative of him! There are also some days he comes home and plays games, but it’s okay, because he doesn’t always do that. He’s allowed his hobbies, but he also understands he has responsibilities that come first. Marriage is a team effort where both people need to give 100% each. If that’s not happening, it’s not going to last too long. You can’t expect to be happy giving 100% yourself while only getting 50% in return from your partner.
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I asked my husband to wash the dishes . He said I’m busy. He was playing playstation. I grabbed a garbage bag and threw them out. And made it clear his dirty laundry would be next and anything else I deem dirty including his dusty playstation. We came to a mutually acceptable agreement when it was clear I wasn’t taking any shit . Just to put it in perspective I’d given birth to 6 babies in 9 yrs and worked. Being a lazy sack of crap was a new revelation after baby 6 was born. Made sure that didn’t last too long.
My husband works 12 hours a day 5-7 days a week. Also lives almost an hour from his job. He will still help clean and spend time with our son. Granted not much but he does everything he can. Days off he asks for a list of things I prioritize him to do
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My husband and I have both had our time of being a SAHP. When I worked and he didn’t, the only thing I did around the house was my laundry and family stuff with him and the kids. When he worked and I didn’t, all he did was his laundry, cut the grass (Because he wanted to), and family stuff with me and the kids. Now that we both work, each of us does what we can when we can. We are a team.
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For me, I’m on the other end of the shoe. I’m the one that works, while my husband is the stay at home dad. So, he does everything, but, I help out when I’m home. On my days off, I let him have a chance to recover, and that gives me time with the kids. 
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He should be helping. He sounds selfish. Get a handle on this now or you will resent it more and more. Until you divorce him.
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Take a day or two off - and leave the kids with him.
Ur husband should definitely be helping…as for house work he does what I ask him to do…there are certain things I like doing myself…maybe try asking him to help cook supper cooking together can be fun and also a bonding thing for u two
I’ve had to let a lot go during the week. I will usually start dinner and hubby will come behind me and help get it on the table. Sometimes he helps with dishes, sometimes he doesn’t. He’s amazing at helping our daughter with school work and has more patience with her on that, than I do. By Friday the house is usually pretty trashed. We all pitch in on Saturday and get it cleaned up and ready to go for the next week. He helps me a lot though. He’s not good at seeing what needs to be done and using initiative, but if I ask, he will always jump in and help out.
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When I was a SAHM my husband worked 15 hour days 5 to 6 days a week and I took care of the kids, plus his sister lived with us, did dishes, laundry and cooked. When he got home he ate and was in charge of bath time, and bed time. Now that we both work he works nights and I work afternoons, he does our laundry and is in charge of dinner, the kids while I’m at work and getting kiddos to the sitter, I do breakfast, lunch meals plus the dishes. We take turns on the bath duty depending on the day.
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My husband works from 6am off and on until 10/11pm, 7 days a week. He does all the yard work, takes my oldest to school, takes my son to school if he misses the bus, he does laundry if I ask him (he sucks at it, so I avoid that), he does dishes if I ask him, takes the dog out in the morning, cleans the sink out, takes out the trash, and occasionally picks up a room if asked. I work from about 8am off and on until around 7pm at night, 7 days a week, so we both work full time and try to share responsibility.
Stay focused hurry up and finish school. So you can do whatever it is you need to do. Only you can be the judge of that.
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Try to find a hour to relax I go to schoo full time and work full time and take care of my house and son I relax when he goes to bed unfortunately it does get ruff my husband stays home but try’s when he can try to take breaks when u can
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Your man needs a slap … His d*CK would fall off if the shoe was on the other foot . I praise you girl , you are bionic , and your man needs to stop thinking “all he has to do is go to work” … It took mine nearly 2years to finally do something without me asking … I do understand physical labour can be a drain , but I personally think , working and not being paid (like yourself) vs getting paid to work is the hardest work in the world . Where’s your pay for slaving all day ???
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My husband works 12 hour days on third and still helps. Fuck yeah he needs to step up
My husband helps with everything
Should be 50/50 but usually isn’t. Yes he should help, he needs to spend time with the toddlers, men think if a woman is home that’s not a job little do they realize just how much of a job it is!! Some men get it, others are too lazy to admit to it!! Good luck
Hire a housekeeper to clean the house. Throw something in the crockpot in the morning so dinner will be ready, and enjoy your kids during the day.
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What a child. What would he do if you weren’t there? Not do laundry? Not eat? Not take the garbage out? What about bills and mail?
Anyone who thinks just because their husband does the bare minimum to exist (working, absolutely nothing spectacular or brave about it) justifies them being a complete dead weight at home just needs to slap themselves intelligent.
Both parents share the home. Both parents are required and responsible for its upkeep. The stay at home title is PARENT, not maid-chef-waitress etc.
My husband is grateful I stay home and allow him to leave to pursue a career. I sacrifice, not him. He works hard and I adore him for it, but he isn’t the one giving up anything. He isn’t the one putting HIS ambitions on hold. And thankfully he’s smart enough to recognize this.
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I’ve been on both sides of that fence. I worked when my kids were little and took them to daycare/kindergarten. We moved and I stayed home. Staying home with young children was by far more challenging for me than going to work every day. At work I got adult time, breaks, rest (I napped on my lunch hr), and the 12 mile drive was decompressing each way.
With youngins you are ON! On deck ALL THE TIME. There were times when I thought I would lose my mind. My oldest didn’t sleep well at night or nap well… and went 100MPH all day! I don’t miss those days one bit.
If you need help… ask for it. Trade places. 
There is no such thing as Super Woman. It takes a village!
Absolutely nothing. Might cook once in a while, might do dishes. But nothing.
Decide what you would like to see him do and express your feelings.He should at least spend some play time with the kids, step in when you have your hands full, do the repairs around the house…If he does not cooperate, I’d try to get a babysit during those study hours.Be sure to be heard because he won’t change if you don’t speak up…
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My husband works all day and I stay home. He does all outside work, any heavy lifting and any repair type things, because he insists. He also helps with baths and bedtime, along with playing with the kids. Sometimes he cooks dinner. If I’m sick or something, he does more. If I’d let him, he’d do a lot more, but I won’t.
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I don’t get the idea that just because one person works and the other is at home- the first person doesn’t have to do chores. Kids are a full-time job. Going to school is a full time job. Trying to do both and clean and cook- girl you are doing the work of 6 people.
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My man works 12 hour shifts and will still come home n tidy up and take care of our daughter with me. There is never an excuse for not doing his part, my man rarely plays video games. Get a new man sis !!
My husband vacuums, cooks, washes dishes, does laundry, sweeps, mops, and makes my lunch every day so it’s ready when I take my break from work.
Mine does absolutely nothing at all after he gets home from work even on his days off might be odd times like 5times a year where he will take his plate to the bench and do the fire but other then that nope 
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Responsibility needs to be shared, he needs time to decompress from work but not all night 
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Nothing really. He just got completely upset that I laid on the bed a few extra minutes before getting up to get his son up for school so he angrily rolls out of bed scoffs then looks at me when I get up literally 5 minutes after I’m usually up and says "oh now you get the f*(k up. Like fkn really I do this shit Monday through Friday.
Hmm, I think your husband needs to grow up a little bit, he has children now time to put the video games away.
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my partner goes to work 3 mornings a week and then comes home and spends up to 12 hours working on his fb weather page. he has a weather page here in tasmania with over 48,000 followers, so hes usually online all afternoon and night. but the other 4 days off he sleeps till the afternoon and then comes on the computer. at times, if no big weather events to report he may be only a couple hours, but he gives no help at all around the house, myself and my poor 71 year old mother cook his meals, clean the house, pick up his dirty cups, chip packets, lolly wrappers, chocolate wrappers etc, whilst hes either asleep when hes not doing his weather reports or playing video computer games. so yeah he does work hard, but i am partially disabled after having an operation to remove cancer in my leg, my mums elderly and has just fought bowel cancer and now looks like i have my cancer back, but in my lungs this time. i even have to get up early the days he works, so i can wake him multiple times so hes up in time to even go. so to me, yep hes not expected to do much around the house, but a litle help, like taking his coffee cups to the sink, or waking himself up wouldnt go astray
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Those r his kids too u didn’t create them alone.
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First I love helping my bf. Second my kids aren’t his but he choice to be here. 3rd in my house we are a team and that’s the way we believe it should be. I make him coffee I make him his lunch very rarely now but have. I believe if something needs to get done it should get down by whom ever. Till I was out since august we both work full time honestly it was over full time , so does no one clean the house???
At my job I could get mandated I am a CNA for nys so when they say u stay u stay, I’ve refused 2 in my 11 years there. And usually surrounded around my kids and I get written up for it.
My point is either build a team or prepared to do it alone. That’s what I had with my ex husband and when he did have to do stuff he bitched. He’d literally have the kids 2 days out of 7. It was crazy. Let his ass and haven’t regretted it yet
Grown men that play video games…so ridiculous and sad.
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My man works 8:30-5:30 monday to friday and I stay home with our kids (4,2) when he gets home I go to the sunroom for 15 minutes to just collect myself while our kids start eating with him and usually finish dinner with me and then he goes and sits in the sunroom while I clean up after dinner (he gets in my way) and then he comes in to cuddle my youngest while I sit outside for 15minutes again and then he games (my son likes watching my man play rocket league… he pretends to play too) and then they watch an episode of my sons show and I lay with my son. So while he really doesn’t do as much around the house as I do we have a routine that helps and works for us both and he thinks he’s relaxing even though he’s helping me woth the kids at the same time
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He should pitch in a hand. Maybe you both should have some time where you don’t worry so much about clean up and more time into enjoying your family. Talk to your husband about ways you 2 can pitch in together, that you work hard too, and find axway to compromise.
Grow up you are a mom and your husband is correct
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then after dinner, stop during what you do & relax & see just what he has to say
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Mine works 6am-4pm and comes home and does whatever I need help doing inside the house (including cooking dinner sometimes) and also takes care of everything outside at our house and his mom’s. Coming home and playing video games is for boys, not real men.
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Responsibility should be shared but it never works that way
Of course he should do something so he helps you out .What he does is the standard man who works scenario. They think we are doing nothing but relaxing and having fun all day because we don’t noice beyond childcare and cleaning. Talk to him about what you need. Yeah he can have some decompress time but you do too or you’re going to have some major resentment and depression issues.
My wife and I share most responsibilities. We both work, our kids are older (high school) so they have chores and do their own laundry. We each cook dinner half the time. Inside chores are mostly her and the kids. Outside chores, snow removal, mowing, trimming, repairs, car care, anything cooked on the grill, are mostly all me.
Talk to your husband, ask him to make more time in the evenings so you can both relax together. If you both tackle the nighttime routine together you both get to sit and relax sooner. Make sure he knows you appreciate his work and just let him know that you would also like some downtime in the evenings.
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Hussain Zacky shall I post what you do all day when you’re at home? 
Has he ever heard of the second shift?
I threw a fit with mine about helping around the house and he picked up the slack.
You work all day too
So my husband works 4am-2pm. Do he come home and get on video games and sleep? Yes he does. Does it upset me? Only when I’m struggling and need the help and I’m not getting it. Is that all the time? Absolutely not. He always does the cooking. But he’ll help with kids and cleaning and what not most of the time too. I’ll be cleaning at times when he walks through the doors. If that is happening he’s helping me as soon as he walks into the door even without me asking. So to answer your question. Yes, let him relax when he gets home at times. However, he should too still be helping you. Taking care of kids is a job within itself. I’m also doing schooling online as well. So again, yeah, he should get to relax but he should help you as well!
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Everything but cook… clean laundry dishes and works every day
I work full time plus OT when i get home. My fiance and i both work together but when we get home its all me. He does the litter box and laundry (puts it in washer) i do the rest. I make dinner do dishes make coffee n lunches. On weekends he sweeps n cleans the bathroom.
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I always give my husband an hour or 2 to relax after work. By himself with no kids bugging him for things. He works a hard job. He helps after dinner with clean up and bedtime routines.
My man works full time and I work full time. He gets home before me because I have to go pick my daughter up from the babysitter. He usually cleans the rabbits and preps dinner before I get home, then we take turns taking care of MY toddler, he does laundry and dishes while I make dinner and clean up the table and toddler. Vacuuming we take turns with and he takes out the trash and recycling. I give buns breakfast in the morning and he gets my daughter ready so I have time to get ready for work. He makes my coffee every morning and starts my car for me.
Mine works 6a-430p and gets home around 5.
He always does the dishes after dinner. I hang in the kitchen and wipe down the counters and table and chairs with him. He takes out the trash every night as well. He does have a three day weekend. Friday to Sunday. And whatever I don’t get done throughout the week, he helps me with on the weekend. He does not complain, and I have never had to ask him to help me do anything around the house. Mind you it took me 3 tries to find this one. He is a very rare breed when it comes to house work.
But my 2 exes did literally nothing. And I felt like that was just the norm. Even though it made me nuts.
He should be helping! It’s a team effort!
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Well myself I help clean cook take care of kids and take out trash
My bf works 10 hrs a day comes home and gets on video games. I take care our kids, pets, cook dinner, and the inside of the house. He does the outside. Sometimes its frustrating but he does pay our housing cost (mortgage/electric) so I feel like he should be able to relax. He has his job and I have my job, the house and kids. Occasionally he will sweep and help straighten up the living room.
He may need a short time to relax, but not all evening. He needs to spend some time with you & especially the kids’. It’s all about balance’
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Mine busts his ass during his 12 hour shifts and still helps with stuff EVERYDAY! there’s no reason for him not to help! You need time to relax as well! YOU DIDN’T MAKE THOSE BABIES ON YOUR OWN 
He runs the grill/smoker (which I take FULL advantage of 
) he helps out picking up and laundry and yard work too, mostly on the weekends.
He works full time on a pulling unit (very hard work) so if mine can help out after pulling wet tubing all day in the snow/rain, no excuse for anyone else imo. But to each their own.
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We both had a stroke and some heart problems a few years ago. My wife was left with poor mobility, some loss of vision, and very little short term memory .So, basically what is done around the house except her laundry is done by me. A cleaning lady friend does come in once or twice a month.
I’m a SAHM right now and my husband does everything 50/50 when he gets home from work. I try my best to keep the house clean and usually have supper started when he gets home. Some days none of that is done 
We pick up each others slack. Sometimes He has a crap day so I pick up more, and he does the same for me.
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He is a grown man he needs to let the video games go
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Cooks sometimes if he’s home , yard work sometimes scrubs the floors
Wow! Must be nice that he thinks his day is done when he gets home! He should be helping with the kids and dinner.
He should help with the kids and clean up after dinner so you two can spend some time together
Definitely should be interacting with his children …they will learn how men should treat them from their daddy. Also, learning is harder than working …Plus taking care of children is exhausting
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This is what women do better then men, don’t try to make him feel guilty
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Mine says he shouldn’t have to come home and clean but yet I work as well and clean I’m pregnant and I take care of my two kids are biological and I take care of his kids one biological of his and the other one is not she’s not neither one of ours mine doesn’t clean doesn’t do dishes and barely rarely will take the trash out
My husband did things I couldn’t do after he worked hard all day and overtime alot too. I even mowed the grass t help him out. Today we are retired he mowed grass ,etc.
He should help with the clean up than you could both take a breather
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Are we married to the same man?!?…
Why couldn’t he wind down after he helps you? If he could donate just an hour at night and a half a day on the weekends at least that would be helpful. If he agrees to it make sure you stop him when it’s been an hour so he knows you appreciate it. Hopefully he will see how much it helps you and it may make him want to more but see if he will agree to that and go for it. Good luck 
I’m sad you have to ask. But You let him act this way. He won’t change unless you do.
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Mine works almost the same hours. He helps with the kids, cleaning, dinner, bedtime routine after work. Then he goes on his games after bedtime or when he has work off he games AND helps with the kids when I need it.
Sounds like you have a man child not a husband
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This is a… stupid question. Sorry, but it is. OF COURSE HE SHOULD BE HELPING! He lives there, he eats there, those are his dishes, his kids… that is NOT a man, that is a BOY.
My husband works everyday, comes home, will cook, clean, take the kids, go get groceries, fix things, laundry, etc etc etc…
If I were you, I wouldn’t want my kids growing up thinking that’s how men are suppose to be like… and the women have to do EVERYTHING. That’s not life.
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I work all day too there is someone I care about . If she was home taking care of our kids and was going to school. When I get home it’s my turn to watch and take care of the kids not because I have to, but because it’s also my responsibility. My responsibility as her partner to support her & make sure she has the time to get everything she needs done her school work and time to study and time to be herself. Again not because I have to it’s because I want to. I want to be part of the reason she succeds.
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Work is easier lol I am once divorced so my rule in this marriage is there is no keeping score…. Everyone should pitch in and help
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I don’t think men understand that staying at home with kids is a NONSTOP job. I honestly wasn’t cut out for being a stay at home mom. I’d lose my marbles. I go to work and have time to miss them.
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He should, but then he’s self centered.
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Maybe have nights that you guys split the chores. Or maybe even allow him a couple hours then he can handle bedtime routine with children.
My husband will do anything I ask him to do! Might not be right at that moment, but eventually he’ll get it done!
Nothing. He barely can remember to take trash out.
Man, he works from sun to sun.
Womans work is never done
mine hardly does anything!
He needs to harden up
5 kids here. Hubby works as am operations manager 7-5/6pm. Straight to help out. I’m on mat leave.
Take a day or two off with the cleaning part so a lazy dinner or something just for you and the baby he’ll be forced to feed himself and see what happens with no help you deserve a lil time too
yes he should be helping period his kids too!
I think it may depend on how it was set from the beginning and he became used to it. Maybe have a conversation with him about what you need. If nothing changes, maybe consider doing less, like cleaning and dinner, so he might get a clue. You have a lot on your plate and he may need a reminder of that as a wake up call.
When he has paid vacation days… leave him with your stay at home job for a few days! He will see how much more your work intales
My husband works 2 full time jobs. A 9-5 then a 8pm to 3am depending on the night. So for that little 2 hour window he comes home, either takes over with dinner or takes over with our infant & toddler. Once dinner & baths are done. Then he’ll get 20/30 minutes of shut eye before work.
Stay at home mom or not, you need some type of balance with getting help. It a heavy load. Sending you lots of love mama 
Either way, you got this 