I cook Monday through Thursday we eat out on Friday and on Saturday and Sunday my husband cooks. The weekend is his days off. He usually helps clean on the weekends too and laundry. I really get a break on the weekends. I sleep in and he takes care of our son.
We were married 10 years before we were ready for kids and he still helped around the house. We are partners, a team, itās been that way since the beginning. Some days one may do more but it all evens out.
1 Like
Yes girl. I was this way with my husband up until I got a job and he got laid off it took him all of 3 weeks to go back to work and have a hole new understanding on being a stay at home parent. Sorry for the typos 6 am and I just woke up. He now comes home from work and gives me hand. And Sundays are chore day where everyone helps pitch in. Yes I still to do the everyday things and yes for the momās that are going to slam me I understand he works blah blah blah but being a stay at home mom is a way harder job and he agrees. Gender norms are not a part of this house.
Crockpot meals are easy and time savingā¦throw a roast on or chickenā¦do casseroles in the ovenā¦I feel as a stay SAHM it is up to you have dinner but it definitely wouldnāt hurt him to help outā¦Marriage is working together as a team to run a householdā¦
If he doesnāt want to help maybe itās time for you to look at other optionsā¦ask him if he would rather pay child support for 6 kids or start helping you when you need it .people donāt realize stay at home moms get tired and exhausted to especially with 6 kidsā¦
2 Likes
We both work full time, and both have side businesses. We have 2 children (11 & 13). The kids have their chores. I definitely do most daily cleaning but the hubbs absolutely helps out with cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc. He also does most of the outside work and vehicle stuff. Youāre a team, a unit, all parties should act accordingly. You guys need to sit down and talk, and figure out what works best for both of you. Good luck x
My hubby does it all. He helps with everything. He may be the bonus dad but he helps the kids with everything but showers. He helps with homework and does all the housework when I am at work. I got so lucky with my hubby!
I feel like if he is paying all the bills yiu should definitely Hold the house down. But he should definitely help with the kids.
3 Likes
He shouldnāt have to if u stay home!
3 Likes
Use your crock pot ā¦that would help u a lot . U just need to talk to himā¦ Teach the kids to clean there room before bed and make there bed in morningā¦But never go to bed mad just talk to him ā¦ pray ā¦loveā¦FAITHā¦hopeā¦GOD
Time to wake him upā¦I have helped my wife do everything in our house and still do ā¦at one time I worked 3 jobs and still helped herā¦take a day he dosent work and act like u r real sick and canāt get out of bed if he still does nothing itās time to find a man who canā¦
7 Likes
My hubby and I are both equals in our marriage. We have no set structure or agreement. We both work(but I was a stay at home mom at one point for 3 years) and have 3 kids. He works 4 12 hour shifts a week, where as I work 5 days a week but during school hours(I work for our local school district). Itās kind of become a routine that on the days we works Iāll make dinner and on the days he has off heāll make dinner to give me a break. We both clean, do laundry, take care of the kids, ect. Nothing is expected of either of us as far as, this is my job and this is your job. If I have had a rough day and just need to relax, he is perfectly fine worrying about dinner(itās usually something takeout that he picks up on his way home from work since he works until 5pm). Communication is key. Talk to your SO. Have a real, serious, sit down conversation about how you are feeling. You need to make him realize, that just because you are a stay at home mom, doesnāt mean that you donāt work, as well. Sometimes, being a stay at home mom is more work that working a 40+ hours week.
1 Like
My partner does not work every day. I doā¦ 7/7. He cooks, cleans, tidies up, gardeningā¦ everything. Im so lucky, but so is he. We are a team
Iām Iām stay at home spoiled mom. My husband is the absolute best. I do my part and he does his. Itās such a great partnership. Women just settle too much these days.
1 Like
When I was a sahm and he worked I didnāt ask him to help with anything because I was home. That was my job for the day and his was what he left to go to. I may ask to help get kids to bed or if I was cooking and they needed something Iād ask if he could help with that but for household stuff, no.
My husband sucks when it comes to cleaning lol but he does help with the cooking, caring for the animals, helps entertain the toddler, does majority of the outside chores, and he does the grocery shopping plus our two teens have cleaning chores. We both work now and I work from home but even when I was a SAHM he still helped
2 Likes
My boyfriend works Saturday- Tuesday night shift 10 hour days and goes to school 2-3 nights a week on top of that and STILL cooks and cleans and helps with our child. Does every morning with her. I am laid off for a couple months but he has NO problem helping outā¦ SAHM or not everyone deserves a break and you didnāt make those kids on your own 
1 Like
I do most of the house stuff as Iām here more than he is and yes I work as well though thanks to covid Iāve been out for about 3 weeks now. It just works better this way. HOWEVER if I really donāt want to cook he will cook dinner or spring for take out. No complaints. He will do laundry on occasion when I just canāt or Iāll start it and heāll finish it. Thatās how a real partnership works. We have a 13yr old & 7yr old as well and they have chores too which we give an allowance for.
Granted I have a full time job and so does my husband, he helps with everything! And I mean everything. Laundry, dishes, cooking, housework. He even gets up a few times a week with my daughter and takes her to school so I can sleep in. (Heās not her bio dad) but there was a time I was out of work and nothing changed. He still helped with everything. Youāre a full time mom to 6 kids. You do have a job! He needs to get off his ass and help you. Period.
We both work. He does 3rd shift I do morning part times. But I do drop offs, he does pick ups. I cook, he cleans. I dust, he vacuums. I start laundry, he puts it away etc. With our kid pretty much same thing, Iāll make appts but if I have to work, heāll take him. He picks him up from daycare, feeds him, bathed him, gets him ready for bed if Iām going to be home later on. itās OUR household.
Everything. Everything I do he does and visa versa.
Cooks. Cleans. Laundry. Trash. Kids. Everything.
Coming from a fellow sahm of 3 , believe me when i say He doesnt respect what you do or you. and thinks he works harder bc he leaves the home 
id demand different behavior from him and let him know how childish that is. youre NOT HIS MOTHER . he lives there and theyre his kids too he can clean and help. He sure didnt mind helping make the kids 
I swear i cant STANDDDD WHEN they say this stuff and act this way. Disrespectful asf
Just here for the commentsā¦ Doing a little researchā¦
1 Like
Sounds like you have 7 children. Sorry to say, but that behavior is incredible immature. If he wants to be partner, he needs to participate without being asked. If you have to ask, nag, and deal with a tantrum, youāre definitely dealing with a child.
5 Likes
It all comes down to communication. Here are a couple articles I read that has helped me navigate the conversation at home.
https://fathers.com/s6-your-kids/c33-school-aged-kids/are-you-doing-your-fair-share-at-home/amp/
All of it. Any and everything that needs to be done. Takes kids to school, picks them up. Shops, cooks. Cleans. Folds clothes (cringy but he tries 
). Take our youngest (4) to work with him so I can have a few hours to my self.
I could never be with someone who didnāt respect me and my role in our marriage. What I do and want to help ease it. Just as I do him.
Teamwork makes the dream work.
2 Likes
We both do everything together. Even with me being a stay at home mom, my boyfriend helps me with the kids, cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc. we do it all side by side, no complaints. Sometimes, if Iām not feeling well, he picks up the slack or vice versa. We are a team and always make sure the other has what we need no matter what.
2 Likes
My husband works days and I work nights, so when This routine started he had to learn how to do dinner, bath time, bedtime. Itās actually a nice balance now. Before I started working I did everything! It gets frustrating. Itās his house too and his kids too he should help you out your not a maid
My husband helps.
He works a lot but he knows I get overwhelmed at times but his brain doesnāt work in the sense of being able to multi task etc. When I ask him to help we just have a rhythm that he knows what needs to be done and to what level. I do a lot of the cooking/meal prep, he does cook but I normally prep or give him ideas on meals etc.
He normally does his own laundry unless he is been to busy working 16s then I will step in and make sure he has some clean boxers.
I would just have an honest conversation about it. Or what I did too was make a list of what needed to be cleaned that day snd thatās what we worked on. Displays In the kitchen so everyone could see.
My hubby very good man. He will take kids school if I donāt have enough room, he comes home from work and will help with whatever task I need help with. Just try ask him to. They need realize sometimes itās hard being at home all time. Good luck momma
Maybe Iām just cut from a different cloth but when I was a stay at home mom and my husband worked full time, I took care of the kids, the cleaning, the cooking, laundry, etc. I didnāt expect him to come home and help me do my job after working all day. Donāt get me wrong, my husband is an amazing man and would randomly clean the entire house for me, cook dinner, etc., but I didnāt really expect him to. Now we both work full time, same hours, and I still do the cleaning, the laundry, etc because along with his full time job, he is also a full time college student with 6 months left to go in his Bachelors program. Maybe sit down with him and try working out a schedule. Maybe you can suggest that one night a week he does baths, or cooks dinner. Communication is key.
2 Likes
My husband and I have 3 kids. Hes worked full time since I found out I was pregnant with our first (we had our first one somewhat young). With our first child I was home from the time I was pregnant until she was 9 months old. When I was pregnant and she was in the newborn stage, I did everything because it was easy. As she got older, he realized she was more mobile and there was more stuff to do like picking up and cleaning. He started doing dinner when he got home towards the end of me staying home with her and I picked up and did laundry (super OCD so even if he wanted to help, thereās no way lol). As more children came about and I also got a full time job working the same hours, if not more than him, schedule changed. We donāt have a set routine but the general is: he cooks almost every night (some times every other night) and I pick up/clean most of the timeā¦ unless itās deep cleaning weekends then we split the rooms and knock it all out. Week day schedule is that we each do whatever every other night (I do dishes one night, he does them the next. Etc with every āhousehold choreā).
My husband grew up with a mother that stayed home and did the normal āmotherly household dutiesā like the earlier years. When we first moved in together way before out oldest was born, he thought we were gonna repeat that pattern. Snapped him out of that one real quick, lol.
Just because you stay home doesnāt mean that your job is āeasyā. Thereās definitely a lot more that happens than they realize. I was stressed keeping up with one kid that was young. Kudos to you for 6!
1 Like
Regardless of where you both workā¦ outside of the home or inside the homeā¦ you BOTH work. Being a SAHM IS a full time job. My fiancĆØ and I both take care of the house stuff. A lot of times, he does more because I am disabled with M.S. However, I help with whatever I can. We teamwork the kids. We teamwork the meals. He does do most of the dishes and laundry, but I really try to help with what I can. He is truly an amazing man and Iām so lucky we found each other!! 
Rob McDougal
2 Likes
We both work more than full time hrs, have 2 kids under 10, we both pitch in! I make dinners during the week while we work (both work M - F) bc he works later, weekends he cooks, we share dish duties back and forth, I wash and dry the laundry he almost always folds and puts away, we clean the house together Saturday or Sunday mornings then it only takes an hr or 2 (obviously we pickup and tidy during the week LOL)!!!
When I was not working everything was the exact same because If I tried to do more he would be upset bc then he wasnāt pitching in.
1 Like
Sahm here. My husband is a lazy human. He doesnāt help with anything, occasionally hell take the trash out if i complain enough.
Hes usually home at 430. Cleaned up by 5. We eat dinner as a family, and the he ignores us while he plays videogames.
I quite literally do it all, most of the time.
He helps clean sometimes and sometimes he cooks dinner
My husband helps do everything around the house. He cooks most of the time, our kids say heās a better cook! Lol
1 Like
When I worked we just flowed. Iād cook sometimes and sometimes he would cook. He did the bed/bath routine and I did the morning routine and homework. Now that I am home, I do everything because Iām here to do it. Why would I expect him to clean when Iāve been home all day to do it? However, if I need a break or help or anything I really donāt have to ask. He steps right in and takes over. Weāve been sick this week, he has too but heās feeling better than the rest of us (4 kids) so he has pretty much done everything for me. I think itās reasonable to expect a parent that is home all day to handle most of the home duties, but I also think a true partner would help out of respect and love. Mine does 
(Except laundry, he isnāt allowed near my washer or dryer)
My husband helps with anything & everything. If Iām too tired he cooks dinner & cleans the kitchen.
If heās too tired I do it instead. Only thing I donāt do is trash 
1 Like
Iām a stay at home mom (going to college online) and my girlfriend works at a school from 6am-3pm and when she comes home she helps with dishes and helps clean and helps get the kids ready for bed (she leaves before theyāre up but on her days off she helps with morning routine) she helps cook dinners and everything.
your man can do it there is no excuse wether heās working and youāre at home or if youāre both working. Communication have a talk and if he gets pissy about it drop him because obviously he doesnāt respect you or the home.
he helps with dishes and laundry .he did help with bath with the girls but sense older they do there selfs now just remind them its bath time. his cooking for dinner is eating out but thats usually weekends.and he works kinda part 2nd shift and works mainly 3rd. and gets kids to and from school. he does not huff and puff about it
My husband is gone for 10 and off for 4. Home for 3. He helps with the kids. Specially the youngest cause hes 3. The others are teens. He takes out garbage and will pick up the loving room. Does his own laundry and our sons if i ask or he needs to fill a load. Thats about it but given him only being home a few days i donāt want or expect much else. He also wont cook but will get take out or make frozen pizza or lasagna. He usually mows and shovels if needed while he is home but i do the majority of that too since hes gone most of the time. He also loads the dishwasher and does dishes some days.
The biggest thing he does when hes home that i appreciate more then anything is letting me sleep in.
Itās definitely not as good as it gets!
I canāt stand a man that thinks because he works and his partner is a SAHM that everything else falls on the partner.
If he works 9-5 outside the home and youāre working 9-5 in the home, anything after 5 should be split. The working partner often doesnāt understand what goes into being a stay at home parent. They think the house magically cleans itself and the laundry magically does itself, while all you do is sit around and play with the kids all day.
We have 4 children, the youngest is 8. He works full time, usually between 4a-4p, sometimes heās home earlier, other times heās home later. I work full time, 3-4 12 hour shifts a week and attend school full time, all online at home. We donāt have set ājobsā at home. Sometimes he cooks, sometimes I cook. I do the majority of the cleaning/laundry. But whenever I ask him for help, he helps, usually without attitude. Sometimes I get a huff and puff or a sigh, but he still helps. As for the kids (8, 13, 18 & 18), we enforce them helping. The two oldest keep to themselves, do their own laundry, pick up after themselves. The two youngest have chores. The 8 year old even does dishes.
Idk how old your children are, but to have 6 of them, some or all of them are capable of helping around the house. Unless one or more of your kids are infants, there isnāt any reason why they canāt, at the very least, pick up after themselves. You just have to enforce it. If you can get the kids to do more, that means youāll have to do less which means you wonāt be exhausted. If you can get the kids to help more, that also means that all of you can relax more as a family in the evenings. But you have to enforce your husband helping as well. If youāre bathing kids, he can get the Pjs ready or he can get snack ready.
Keep something in mind though, you donāt live in a museum and you have 6 children. Itās okay if the laundry basket is full. Itās okay if there are dishes in the sink. Itās okay if toys are strung across the living room. Sometimes, you just have to let go of the chaos and enjoy a few minutes to yourself.
5 Likes
Husband works outside the home. I work from home and have kiddo with me. My husband will mostly do what I ask him. Which I do ask. A lot. I donāt mind asking because heās honestly pretty helpful when he gets instruction, just not self starting.
My husband and I have 7 year old twins. I work part time he works full time as a store manager. He helps a lot when he gets home. He cooks, cleans, plays games with the boys, he lets me get out when I can. (I only work part time because we had to pull our boys from school and homeschool them). He pays all the bills does the grocery shopping. He is very particular on where things go and how things get cleaned. I do the laundry, dishes and bedrooms. He takes the boys golfing in the warmer months and bowling when itās colder out.
6 kids I do it all he pitches in to help when he knows ima loose it lol but I do showers laundry and have them put it all away they have chores to help out and I get them ready or off to school and then I leave after back home before they get here 1 hr before a d start dinner clean up a lil start the fire 7 homework dinner is done and showers are started heās just getting home at this time also this has been life for 5 years for us and Iāve always worked except the pandemic he was laid off at the mines
my ex never helped. trash piled up outside and he wouldnāt even take it off. my current husband does everything I do. we get it done together.
My husband works super hard and still when heās home cooks and cleans, grocery shops, laundry he helps with Everything we also have a large family with 6 + kids.
1 Like
My husband cooks most nights when he is off work, 3 or 4 times a week depending on his schedule. On the days he works after a twelve hour shift, he puts the leftover dinner away. He helps me clean the house, does our grocery shopping and runs most errands. Sometimes I go with but sometimes I donāt. In the summer I usually mow the grass but he does a lot of the other outside work. I am very grateful to have such a wonderful husband.
3 Likes
My ex husband was the same way! My current bf comes home from work (longer shifts than me) and starts cooking dinner immediately. Will help clean on the weekends. Will do anything I ask. Granted our kids are older and bathe themselves and such but as far as keeping the house up we work together
3 Likes
My hubby works 14-16 hrs daily, 5 days a week. He helps with everything when he is home. Jumps in as soon as he gets home and showers 
. Off days we do all the errands, groceries together and he loves to grill and use the smoker to make brisket or smoked pork butt so he does that whenever we are able to buy the meat for it. Always makes breakfasts on his days off. Plays with the kids, cleans up after them, changes diapers, I mean whatever I do, he does too in his way/style. We help each other.
My husband works 8-5 Monday-Friday as an agricultural technician. So he does mechanic work on farm equipment. A manual labor job in the elements. I am a SAHM to our 2 children (6 and 3 year old). We kinda have a routine where I get up and get the kids ready and off to school while he is off to work. I drop them off and then during the day while theyāre at school I basically do whatever I want if I dont have anything else to do or anywhere to go. Usually I come home and relax. I pick my 3 year old up from pre-k at 1:30 and run errands if I need to then get my 6 year old at 3. Come home, clean, and do basically anything else I need to around the house. Hubby gets home around 5:30ish. Once he walks through the door we parent 50/50. I usually do dinner while he watches the kids. Then he helps me get the kids home work, fed, bathed, and then put to bed. Then we usually spend time together and have some downtime before bed. On the weekends itās all 50/50. And housework and yardwork is 50/50 then. I am not his momma or his maid and he is not a paycheck. Team work makes the dream work. We communicate and compromise do what need to be done for the household to run smoothlyā¦
6 Likes
Marriage is a partnership. You both need food, clean clothes, etc.
Talk to him. If he wonāt help, you need to take a vacation & see how well he does alone.
My husband has 8 herniated disks & 1 broken, he still helps with stuff.
1 Like
He works 5 days a week. He has some set chores, like he takes the trash out and he has to manage his own mess. He takes his dishes to the sink, he picks up his own dirty clothes etc etc. Thatās daily or as needed regardless of work.
One of his days off he doesnāt have to do anything. He can sleep in. He gets coffee in bed etc ect (still has to manage his own messes tho) and then one of his off days are for my honey-do list where he knocks out some sorta project Iāve come up with (emptying closest, putting up shelves, what ever I need done).
Oh and heās in charge of washing the dogs when I say they need it
We have 3 young kids. My husband gets the oldest dressed and ready for school and takes him every morning so I can sleep in a bit if the other 2 arenāt awake. I do any night waking (one kid has night terrors). I do most of the chores but if he sees Iām behind on something he will usually jump in without being asked. This weekend he mopped the floors because I mentioned I needed to do them still. The cleaning isnāt a daily thing for him unless Iām having a particularly rough depressive episode. Sometimes for me keeping myself and the kids alive is all I can accomplish. Heās pretty understanding of that and never complains. Heās a ājump in where neededā kind of guy but if I ask him to do something he will try to make it a priority.
3 Likes
My husband does alot around our house. He cooks cleans takes care of the kids. Granted Iām 8 months pregnant and hurt alot so Iām aging down alot but heās ways been that way. I do more around the house when I wasnāt pregnant
My husband does all of the laundry, all of the garbage, gets kids ready for school every day and does most of the kids baths. We both work, and I work midnights, so Iām not home in time to get kids ready. He also helps with any other cleaning around the house and also does probably 25% of the cooking. Even when I was a SAHM my husband still did plenty of chores and helped with cooking. He understands how much work goes into taking care of kids. I couldnāt imagine not being with someone that doesnāt hep let alone understand how much work it is.
I WAS that way until I lost my sh*t hubby is a shift worker and Iām a SAHM to our 4 kids. I simply explained to him that my ājobā is never done as I get up in the middle of the nights (on call) I get maybe 3-5 hours sleep in a 48 hour span when all kids get sick, Iām doing the housework AND cookingā¦if I had to keep doing things myself I might as well BE by myself. I wasnāt in a marriage to raise a grown ass man. Things changed. That was year 2 or 3 of our marriage and weāre going on 11 yrs next month. On his days off he totally steps up and gives me nights off to cook, clean and tend to kids. I could be laying on the couch still there and heāll even bring supper to me sometimes lol life has gotten 110% better. If you donāt explain, and communicate, to your partnerā¦how do they know? We were both raised the opposite but we both knew what we wanted after a long night of just talking getting it all out. Not saying this happens all the time heās off shift, but it sure is great especially when he knows I need it. Iām sure we live by the 80/20 ruleā¦if your partner is lacking in the 20%, you pick up the extra 80%ā¦vice versaā¦
I have 7 kids. He does N. O. T. H. I. N. G. Nothing! I do every single thing with 7 kids every day. He thinks cuz he works n pays the rent he doesnāt have to do ANYTHING else bur hold down the couch.
This was my ex husband to a T. Now I have a marriage where it just flows. I usually take care of bedtime and wake up, some nights I make dinner other nights he does we donāt have a āscheduleā more we equally know what needs to happen and it gets done. Some mornings I get coffee in bed other mornings he does. If one of us is sick mental or physical we shoulder most the work so the other can rest.
1 Like
My husband typically does what he wants but does help me when I ask and is gracious about it. He will do anything I ask but I do have to ask, when I do it all he does praise me for my efforts . I donāt think I would be too happy if there was a fit involved because it does take a team effort at times and we only have 1 kid and one on the way and a dog, youāre a hero taking care of 6+1 husband
In our home itās all hands on deck, regardless if you work outside the home, at home or go to school. We all pitch in as a team and get things done. I do as much as I can during the day and cook all meals but with speech therapy 3 times a week, appointments, studies and so on it takes a group effort to get things done.
Sounds like a typical household to me!!! I am lucky and have a man thatās always helped but for the most part youāre living the dream
My spouse is āthe breadwinnerā Iām the SAHM. I maybe work 15 hours a week at 2 barns helping with caring/cleaning horses. I do 90% of everything at home. He helps when he wants with cooking and cleaning, but he does a lot of stuff with the kids, board games, video games, sledding etc. I actually get mad if he starts to clean bc then Iām like wtf is it not done good enough? I donāt say anything anymore bc after 7 years him getting into his OCD moments happen and I have to go with it. Yes he actually has OCD.
no nothing i have todo everything or it dont get done. he is ill but he never has done anything housewise
He doesnāt have to help, he does stuff just because, thatās the difference
I know how u feel. I am a sahm Iām also a nurse. I went back to work a few years ago and left after some time bc everything fell on me everything. Drop off pick up for school get kids ready hw , all household chores , cooking , cleaning laundry, bathing , shopping paying bills, dr appts, wic appts etcā¦ I couldnāt imagine what it would be like to come home and do absolute nothing. But men still get paid more hourly wtf?? I thought they were the stronger sex . Lmao thatās the biggest lie Iāve ever heard. So I went back to being a sahm had another kid. We didnāt need the extra income it was just for me and my career . He does help more now he will give the kids a bath but everything else is on me.
We have five kids even when I was a stay at home mom he did anything that needed to be done
Baths
Dishes
Meals
Lunches
Medical apts
You name it he did it.
Now I work and have a demanding job as does he and we just do what works
My husband helps out when I need something done. Normally he and I work the same amount of hours a week. He parents our children the same as I do. We communicate well with that. We have our teenage girls at home left and when 1 ask one of us something they have to let the other parent know too. We donāt give permission without other one included. He will cook when needed but normally the girls will cook when Iām not home. When kids were younger I was home more so I did the most of parenting duties with baths, chores etc. Pretty even now.
My guy holds a full time job and I have a part time job. He cooks, cleans, does laundry, assists with kids, shops and pays bills. I do most of this as well (I donāt pay bills) but he does just as much as I do.
My husband works FT and Iām a SAHM that homeschools our 4 children (since the beginning, not just cuz of the rona.) As soon as my hubs gets off work, he jumps into his role as a FT father. Usually that means watching the 3YO so I can cook dinner. Also, he has ALWAYS taken responsibility for nighttime baths (while I clean up the kitchen.) We donāt have a set schedule of duties, we both just do what needs to be done. I am very grateful to have a true PARTNER in life.
Mine works a lot of hours, itās ridiculous the hours his job has him work sometimes and I know heās exhausted but even then heāll still come home and help with our son. Hold, feed, diapers, baths, play, wash bottles and usually up with him most of the night and tells me to get some sleep even tho Iām still on maternity leave at the moment and donāt have to be up for work right now (heās only a month and a half so still up and down alot at night) plus he will help with anything else needed around the house.
Mine works first shift. I work 3rd. He helps cook and clean, take out trash, always handles bed time for our 2yo cause I work, he changes diapers, etc. He helps a ton. We have no mutual agreement just a day to day flow that works for us and if it doesnāt we usually speak up and talk about it that same day or next. Usually, I have to ask him to take out trash or load the dishwasher but he always does it eventually and never complains. The bills are split halfway. Except our phone bills, we pay our own separately cause we arenāt on the same plan. Just gotta do what works for ya I guess lol.
Everything! Itās OUR home. It just happens. However when he was out of work because covid shut everything down. He did it all. Which I greatly appreciated and made sure I always said something. Since he has gone back to work we take care of it together
1 Like
We both work full time, he shovels the drive way and baths the baby, I do all the cleaning, cooking laundry, bed time routine, dishes, grocery shopping, getting kid to day care and picking him up. Basically I do absolutely everything besides shovelling the drive way and him bathing the baby majority of the time. 
Not sure your kids ages, but I had my boys doing thier own laundry pretty early. Not only is it a necessary life skill and learned responsibility but it also helped to keep the household running. Nothing wrong with teaching them young and taking a task off your plate. Not saying your husband shouldnāt gladly help but it takes everyone pitching in to make a home, also in this day and age if kids can operate electronics they can certainly figure out chores! Iād have a family meeting to include your husband and kids and get a chore schedule establish.
2 Likes
Get a job!!!
Get out of the house!!!
1 Like
My husband and I both work, I work days he works evenings, he cooks most of the time before I come home, so I eat with the kids and clean up but I didnāt have to cook. He also gets up with us in the mornings and helps out with teeth brushing or breakfast or just whatever needs done. We are a team and I am truly thankful for him!
1 Like
mine pays the bills and does NOTHING else. I currently have covid and he went to bed at 5am. Needless to say, nothing changes even with covid, I still get up at 6:30 and take care of our daughter for 14 hours straight.
4 Likes
Iām a SAHM I have two girls 9 and 13 my husband works very hard and during the week he does not help. House is kept clean as we have helper come every other day, and girls are old enough to pick after themselves but he helps me so much during the weekend heāll cook Friday night till Sunday night all three meals unless we go out
I was a SAHM for the longest I clean and did everything around the house. I did suffer from postpartum depression for the first couple of years. My husband was very supportive he came home tried and exhausted but he still helped around the house because our job is 24/7 no breaks no pay and he understood that. Sit down with your hubby and communicate donāt let your feelings bottle up it never ends good when you do. Sometimes all we need is communication.
my husband takes our daughter to school, works, then helps with anything I wasnt able to get to after dinner. we each lay a kid down for bed and meet in ours
3 Likes
Guess Iām just lucky. Iām home with 4 kids full time and 6 every other weekend and he works 6 days a week. He knows sometimes Iām just physically exhausted and he comes home and will pick up the slack that I failed to do through the day and heās ok with it because he knows how I feel. Heās stayed home for a week vacation from work and after the first day was ready to go back,told me he didnāt know how I do it all day everyday.
2 Likes
Mine. NOTHING. He gets home n goes to the couch on bed n plays games thatās it. He says a man works all day shouldnāt have to do another thing . I said what about when I worked n came home n made dinner,did dishes,bathed our son ,helped with homework (3 kids), got kids to bed ,had to get things ready for next day at school. He said āteachings not a job. All they do is babysetā
Heās 14 years younger than me n still wants me to work.Im now 78 . If you have a good one ,your lucky, if not ,forget it,he. Will never change.
3 Likes
I am very lucky, my husband usually does dinners. He helps with laundry, he attempted to help with dishes for a while but that was annoying. He plays outside with the kids, he loves to ride bikes, he mountain bikes often and wants our kids to grow to love biking as much as he does. I am a stay at home mom, and he works, he does hard work too- construction, glazier (glass installation/work). Sorry youāre having to deal with all that. It is definitely not equal or fair.
1 Like
Think of marriage like a business partnership. Divide your time in hours. Make a list of house hold chores that need to get done daily, weekly and monthly. Then assign the amount of time it takes to reasonably do each task. Sit down with him and look at the list of things that need to get done.
So letās say he works 40 hrs a week.
There is 60 hrs a week of house hold chores.
It would be reasonable for him to take over 10 hrs of work a week for house hold chores.
Take the list of chores and together assign responsibility for those chores. Then itās not an argument. You both know what you are responsible for.
I have a 8 month odl and a 5 year old and soon to be newborn and Mine helps cleans and does my shopping for me and helps with the kids we share the alot tbh
My husband will take the trash out, cook, and will bathe our youngest well puts her in the bath and I shampoo, condition, and soap her, and thatās bout it. But thatās bout it is a huge help for me. So I can tidy the house up as he does that. 
all husbands regardless job or not shall help the wife out and make things 50/50. A sahm job is just as equivalent to a 90k job. It never ends.
We both work. My husband does the majority of the cooking and helps with laundry. I do most of the cleaning but he helps on weekends if he sees me going crazy with a list of stuff to clean. He also drives my kids all over for sports practices almost every night of the week. Wouldnāt trade him, thatās for sure.
My hubby works, Iām a SAHM right now, I do everything he does NOTHING. Doesnāt even play with the kidsā¦like nothing at all. Most days he gets home from work eats, goes to the gym then video games till all hours of the night, if I need help or a break I have yo ask my siblings or parents 
3 Likes
Mine will occasionally load unload dishwasher. Maybe take out trash if it overflowing and stinky. If he does anything else he b!+@$es the whole damn time or asks how to do it Iām like your 35 come the hell on. Last night I was so exhausted all I could do was cry his answer was just go to sleep lol hope it gets better for you
Mine does anything and everything I ask of him, and half the time, without asking! Dinners, breakfast, cleans up, does laundry, helps with kids, runs errands. Heās pretty freaking rad! And yes he does work full time while I stay home.
3 Likes
Probably gonna get some angry faces for this one. My husband (we have been married 21 years) does all of his own laundry ( in 22 years I have probably washed his laundry 3 or 4 times) works out of town most of the time, when he is away I handle most of everything else, my kids are older (teenagers so they do their own laundry and their share of the household chores. When hubby comes home he will go to the grocery store, wash dishes or anything else that needs done. I donāt ask him to he just does it. He says itās his house to and he should help even though I am a sahm.
5 Likes
Im a SAHM. To meā¦a manās half is working and providing if you dont work. My husband will take out trash or get takeout without complaint of asked thoughā¦but that is about once every 2 weeks.Usually it is up to me to cook,clean,grocery shop,take care of kids,take out trash, take kids to drs appts,etc. Im fine with it. Id rather stay home amd clean than work a job.
I work from home and he works shift work and helps Me with everything. It wasnāt always like this tho. I demanded help and broke it down in simple terms and now he literally helps with everything. I think he use to take for granted that I was home and not doing hard labor like him but I explained that in order for him to have a cooked meal and sex on the regular he has to help me lol
Mine pays %90 of the bills
I also keep %90 of my own money I make and spend it on what u want if that changes things
But I do %90 of everything at home and with kids laundry cooking cleaning yard work
BUT IF I ASK FOR HELP he will help me in a second
You are not just a receptacle for his semen and a slave. Stand up for yourself
We have five kids. We set clear expectations between our roles when the kids were little. I took care of the entire house while he worked full time. Now that we both work full time, household things are split as well
My husband does nothing, I am a stay at home mom he takes the. To school and picks them up bud thatās it. Will help clean his side of the bedroom or bathroom once every couple months or so.
Idk I feel like ppl take shit for granted both of u it sucks doing it but if has to be done some single parents have to do it all with no helpā¦ again it sucks but if you feel like heās not doing his part maybe counseling