What does your other half help with at home?

Relationships
201

I am a stay at home mom. My job is to stay home and take care of the house which I do. BUT the kids are both our responsibility. night time routine is after dinner clean up then I put the baby in the bath and he gets the 5 year old washed up. Some nights he does both while I clean up. On weekends when he is home I will go grocery shop and come home to a clean house. I think if we stay home our job is taking care and cleaning the house mon-Friday. Not saying he can’t help. His job is to make sure everything is paid for.

I’m sorry your going through this. Maybe try communicating with him. Hey while you’re cleaning if he gets the kids ready for bed

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202

I always helped my first wife atround tyhe house and especially with the children. we kept foster children for 17 years. At one time we had 6 children under 6 in the home ans opur on 9 yr old daughter who was a lot of help. I did whatever need to be done. When she became ill, I was required to do more. After her passing I remarried. My second wife was a school teacher in a very stressful special ed program We shared all the chores inside and outside the house. I really don’t understand men who refuse to help out at home. I remember dad helping mother after he had spent a long day plowing a team of mules. Many men don’t realize s how much work is required to cook, clean, shop, and care for children.:cry:

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203

Not married but my son does NOTHING…
Until now cuz his dog jumped on me. Caused me to fall and fracture my arm

204

He helps with baths and bedtime. He reads stories and plays with them a lot. I keep household chores up, because he wants to help all the time. He insists on, and does, any repairs, heavy lifting and outside things. Our kids also have age appropriate chores and pick up their toys etc.

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205

My Man does everything we split 50/50 but Yes he does more than chores I’m very lucky that he loves me to no end

206

I think you need to sit down and talk to your husband. N also give out chores to the kids. Take the load off your own back. Remember being a mom it a lot of working smarter not harder.

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207

I work and my wife stay home on my days off I do the cooking most times on the grill or outside cooker I go to store and shop and help clean I work most the time around 50 hours a week we are help mates

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208

We both work full time, I work the normal 5 days a week and my husband works 6 days a week. We are 50/50. He helps with everything around the house and our almost 2 year old. When summer comes around and he has to maintain the grass, I take over the dishes as my duty only. He also cuts our neighbors grass, which is a woman who lives alone.
I mainly do the laundry just cuz I don’t like how he does it, but he will do it if I’m too busy and need him to.

209

Didn’t you know men work 8 hrs a day? 40 hrs a week? Yet moms have 24/7 jobs? Reverse roles for a week… guaranteed they wouldn’t make a week.

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210

He needs to help even if its the small things. If he can’t help then tell him to pay for daycare because your going back to work. Men are so lazy.

211

50 years of doing everything. I also worked full time and he couldn’t watch his own son. Because he checked on me 4-5 times a day at work. He does absolutely nothing here. Says it’s womans work. My knees both needs replaced and I am dealing with breast cancer pain because of him. Piece of shit narc. My son is just as bad as him.

212

My husband helps
With everything. I’m
A SAHM but he cooks and bathes our son. It’s just what we do and we have a little routine. I hate cooking so :woman_shrugging:t2:

213

I’ve been both a full time working mom and a stay at home mom…when I worked, he’d help out with our son and his routine/homework along with house chores…each time that I’ve been a sahm, he completely stopped helping with all things in the household unless it’s grilling for dinner or taking care of things outdoors, but that’s the mindset we kind of fell into is that he works outside of the house (12 hour shifts) and my job is all things inside the house…luckily he’s not the type to gripe about things not getting done daily and understands that being home with a toddler is not a walk in the park and sometimes things get pushed to the side…he just doesn’t offer to help to catch up on housework​:sweat_smile::sweat_smile:

214

I imagine he gets days off and only works a specific time at his job right?
So, what time do you get off work?
What days do you have off?
He knows this unfair and he just doesn’t care imho. I would have a serious talk, tell him how you ferl and find out if he’s dead set on doing nothing.
These are the kinds of things women need to ask about/work out before marriage, kids, etc… That’s what dating is about. Love is great and all, at least until the resentment sets in.
I hope you’re going to raise your son’s to be self sufficient, better partners, parents, men. I hope he wakes up.

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215

Lately no. Like just now I was try a relax n watch tv bc I cooked dinner n did dishes. And also am 7 months pregnant. Our 3yr old son needed to potty and I told him to go tell his dad bc I had been getting up to help him use the rest room all day. He couldn’t even get up to do that so my son had an accident so I had to get up n put him in the tub. His dad tried to get mad but I told him it was my fault since I didn’t get up in time to help him. I understand ur frustration.

216

He shops and chauffeurs my son and coaches some of his teams. My husband, daughter and me all work full time. Many things don’t get done but we rent so the landlord takes care of some of the outdoor stuff. I end up doing the kitchen and my daughter and I share laundry. We only deep clean when we are having visitors which leads to us rarely having anyone over. We eat out almost every meal.

217

This is copied. Can’t remember where but it really resonated with me.

A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat down and talked about life. After a while I interrupted the conversation and said to him, ′′I’m going to wash the dishes, I’ll be right back.”
He looked at me like I told him he was going to build a spaceship. So he said to me with admiration and a little stumped, ′′Glad you help your wife, I rarely help mine because when I do she never thank me. Last week I washed the floor and she didn’t even tell me thank you.”

I sat back down with him again and explained to him that I don’t ′′help′′ my wife. Actually, my wife doesn’t need help, she needs a partner, a teammate. I’m her home partner… and due to that, all functions are divided, which is not “help” with household chores.

I don’t “help” my wife clean the house, because I also live in it and I need to clean it too.

I don’t “help” my wife cook, because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.

I don’t “help” her washing dishes after eating, because I use these dishes too.

I don’t “help” my wife with kids, because they are mine too and it’s my duty to be a father.

I don’t “help” my wife wash, extend, fold, and put away laundry, because it’s mine and my kids too.

I don’t give a “helping hand” at home, I’m part of it.

Then with respect I asked my friend when was the last time after his wife finished cleaning the house, doing laundry, changing the bed sheets, bathing the kids, cooking, organizing, etc… and did he say: “thank you?”
I mean a real thank you, like, “Wow, baby!! You’re amazing!!"

Does this all seem absurd? Does it sound weird to you? When, once in your life, you cleaned the floor, you expected at least an excellence award with great glory… why? Haven’t you ever thought about that?

Maybe, because for you, macho culture taught you that everything is a woman’s task.

Maybe you’ve been taught that all this should be done without you having to move a finger.

So praise her as you would like to be praised, likewise, with the same intensity. Hold her hand and behave like a true companion, and assume your part, don’t behave like a guest who simply comes to eat, sleep, shower and satisfy sexual needs… feel at home, in your home.

Change in our society begins in our homes, teaching our children the true sense of fellowship!

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218

Not such thing as “help” because it is his house too! We are partners therefore it’s both our responsibility to take care of our kids and home. My husband and I take turns, cleaning, tending to kids, laundry, cooking (although he does most of the cooking cause he really enjoys it)
We both work too…

219

Mine does everything, we don’t have set things we do we just kinda compliment each other by picking up the others slack. Let’s say I start dinner but my daughter or son needs me to do something, he will finish it or do it for me and vice versa. We both know what needs to be done so we both help each other climb the ladder so to speak.