Do any of you have a set structure or agreement or routine that just kind of happens ? Asking as I am a stay at home mum and my hubby is a shift worker
But apart from that does absolutely nothing else at all
Nothing no dinners or cleaning or anything with the kids nothing at all and he says its ally job etc
I asked him to do dinner tonight so I could have a break as I’ve been non stop cleaning the house all day and getting through the washing (all the bedding ) we have 6 kids we aren’t even 40 yet
He huffed and puffed and left angry to get take out but def made it known he was not impressed that he had to do one of my jobs does anyone else see where abouts I am coming from etc
And goes and feels the same or similar to me please? Just want to write this and get and read some comments to to calm down abit and try and not react soo angrily on his return
Somethings got to give
Surely this isn’t as good as it gets !
Do any of you have a set structure or agreement or routine that just kind of happens ? Asking as I am a stay at home mum and my hubby is a shift worker
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What does your other half help with at home?
Well rt now I’m sitting in the recliner while he’s cooking dinner
I think he should help out with things at home as well. It wont hurt. I’m also a stay at home mom with 2 kids and my husband works and still comes home and cooks for us and he will even help with dishes and help with the kids. Its not asking too much. My husband does it on his own, I dont ask. He knows how stressful and tiring it can be to be a stay at home parent and sees that I need a break too every so often. I dont think your man should be doing everything everyday but helping out is NOT asking too much and you have 6 kids…you need a breather every so often.
My husband does not cook. But aside from that he helps with everything.
You have to let him know you can’t do it all… Take some me time and have him watch the kids.
My husband voluntarily helps with cooking and cleaning, tries to let me sleep in on his days off by keeping everyone entertained so they don’t bother me, and does anything I do ask of him though I try not to ask a lot because he works long hours and usually 6 days a week. I got a good one for sure!!
We are a bit older . I’m 46 and his 51.
My hubby works outside our home , cooks,& cleans.
We have kids EOW.
I’m blessed to have him and very thankful for all he does for our little family.
My husband worked 15h yesterday, then cleaned the kitchen and washed the dishes. He also cleaned the living room. He loves these He can help out.
I wish I could say it gets better but unfortunately it doesn’t.been with my SU almost 10 years and not much has changed, especially after 2 kids later, I see alot of these posts that woman don’t want to have sex with their man; but that’s how I get mine to fall into place, you want clean clothes, I want some me time, 1 gets what they give. I’ll clean the whole house but when I want to feel more than a stay at home mom I want some reassurance, not that hard. I’m more than a babysitter,maid and nanny, sometimes I just want to be a woman too. Why is it just men get to be men, mothering never stops and they need to understand sometimes you just need to be YOU!!!
He does the dishes about 90 % of the time. We swap bath time. If I do it one time he does it the next. If I wash and dry the clothes he folds and puts them up or vice versa. Some times he cooks most time it is me. If not cook he cleans up. I’m a stay at home mom and he works from 7:00 to 3:30.
My other half shops, gets his son ready and puts him to bed every night, feeds the cats, random jobs here and there. When I need him he’s always there
My hubby helps out around the house. Our children are big now and 3 of them already left the house getting married and so forth. He is leaving at 6 in morning and coming back home at 6 in afternoon. He will come help me prepare dinner or wash the dishes, sweep the floor kr mopping or even just help with the washing. We are always argueing about it as i feel he is working hard throughout the day and doesnt need to come and help me at the house as well. This usaully happens over weekends of if im going to town the next day with him. Then he will help and make sure house is clean before we leave
My husband helps with everything…when your married, your one/ team…their is no I just We…He cooks,cleans,laundry,and runs his own business…Tell your hubby to grow up…he is your help and you are his, especially with 6 babies
mine did all the dishes, most of the shopping for food, all the diaper changes while he was home, bedtime, breakfasts, cleaning the living room every day and watching the kids for 4 hours alone when he worked a swing shift and was on afternoons. Like when we both worked the nanny had the kids but we didnt have a nanny when I was on the clock if he wasn’t.
I’ve been with my man for 20 years. For 18 of those years I did EVERYTHING and was a sahm… I catered to him and the kids 100%. After so many years I got tired of it. Within the past year, he started helping me immensely. Infact, the last 2 weeks he has made dinner almost every nite and cleaned the house!!! Things can change. I didn’t just wake up one day to this… I had to work to get him to understand my side of things. That took about a year. If you want ur man to see things from your side of the table then ask him to trade places with you for 2 weeks. Then he will get a taste of your life.
Get take out all the time look on iPad to find out what fast foods have deals on hamburgers Make kids do stuff offer them ice cream stop making it hard on yourself don’t change sheets unless you see dirt I think you are your own worse enemy stopweighing who does what it’s a marriage breaker
My husband always helped with cooking, he mowed lawns, washed windows, vacuumed, and anything he seen needed done. He worked 40 hr and I worked 50 hrs a week. I dropped kids off at daycare and he picked them up. We shared completely in taking care of everything.
By him working shift work, did he Rotate shifts? That is much harder. If you’re a stay at home mom, then I don’t understand why he would need to do other than take garbage out and mow lawns.
I had a 4 yr old when our twins were born so, it takes a couple working together to be helpmates, but he only did all that when I was working too. The years I decided to stay at home I felt he deserved to come home with everything taken care of. I would even surprise him and mow lawn.
My husband does the dishes 70% of the time but there’s only the 2 of us. I’m sick and sore ALOT but I still try to do everything in our house because I feel bad because he works 6-7 days a week. I work approximately 15 hours a week then do everything at home. My hubby will do something if I ask him too but it’s a very big effort lol so I try not to ask except when I’m bed ridden or just physically can’t do it
What world is he living in that he still thinks everything is “woman’s work”?? You need to let him know to pitch in or get out! A marriage is about sharing responsibilities and helping each other! He is just being a lazy slob and is taking advantage of you. That wouldn’t fly in my house! Standup and tell him either grab the broom or the door on his way out!!
I al a stay at Home mom and no. I dont let him help with making diner of cleaning etc. Sorry but hè Works! So when hè Comes Home hè is there for our kids. Hé unloads the dishwaser for me & the garbage but other then that. Hè works outside the Home so the cleaning is my job.
I have a man who does nothing inside or cook dinner & our teenagers have followed suit SO I charge him $30 an hour to clean the damn house & have been doing this for a couple of years now. Why should I have to do everything without getting anything in return ! Some weeks I will charge him up to 12 hours ! If he doesn’t want it clean up or do anything that is what I do & that is how we work now. I work during the day also ! Not as many hours as he does but it was becoming a joke ! My partner also things cooking dinner is getting take out & that makes me so wild ! You have to tell him to help you instead of being an old school A Hole like my partner is ! Also I just tell him I’m going to my Mums house & I will leave the kids with him when he has his days off ! SO he does help me occasionally now ! I’m sorry I can’t be more help as I am in the same situation but it does help me with extra money I can spend on myself ! It’s easy enough for a lot of people to say relationships are easy and to work together as a team but saying and doing is two totally different things ! It’s not fair you have to do everything for your 6 children ! He might be tired but you would be a lot more tired & drained than he is looking after your little ones ! It’s also easy to say your going to leave but in reality it’s not that easy ! Good luck lovely I’m sure you will work it out & hopefully some of the above comments can help you out
I’m a stay at home mom and do everything he just takes out the trash helps fold laundry and pays absolutely everything I want and need. You see he wanted kids and wanted me to stay home to raise our boys I agreed but with one condition I don’t ever need or want and thank God we are blessed I love it works for us
My husband helps with everything
I am a disabled mother and wife. So, my husband is the one that works. He brings the kids to school and picks them up. He helps with dishes and cleaning our room. He does do dishes and does the majority of the cooking as I cannot stand cooking. He will know when it is time to do all the cleaning when I mention it over and over again.
Anything I need help with.
I don’t expect him to do much of anything other than pick up after himself,or to help out more when I’m not feeling well.
He works 6- 10’s .
Not retired yet as I am.
Cooks …does dishes…tidys up… vacumes… does the grocery shopping… even makes the bed.
My husband is the same, and if he does too something he huffs and puffs and sighs. Over it
We both work full time. I work usually 40hrs a week and he’s a little more than that. I take care of the kids & most housework (ie: laundry, dinners, cleaning up). He usually only has to take dogs outside and take trash out. We split feeding the animals and we split cooking as his off days are different from my off days. I’ve been sick lately for about a year now and he’s helped out and picked up tremendously.
He would be coming home from work and doing whatever I needed done!
Mine made more mess than the kids . Now that he’s gone . I can breathe don’t put up with it
Girl I work pt and my husband used to tell me “you only work pt and still can’t handle the house” does absolutely nothing with our son. Would get drunk with his friends on the weekend and was completely useless 0n Sunday. I had a breakdown and told him I wanted him to leave. And I meant it. It’s only been 2 weeks but he’s singing a whole nother tune. I also stopped having sex with him a while back to let him know it wasn’t my job. I do things because it’s our life. Our house. Our son and our marriage. He only acts like that cause you allow it. You’re a stay at home mom. You’re not his mom. Tell him to do his own laundry. Cook his own meal. Make his own lunch. I know we don’t want to cause waves at home so we usually just do it but girl until you cause those waves he’s going to keep thinking it’s not “his job”
We are a team! When I ask for help, I get help 100%. I even get help when I don’t ask for it, but my fiance can tell that I’m overwhelmed. I will admit that I am a SAHM, and that I try to make my fiance’s life easy for him by cooking meals, making his lunch, and doing his laundry. He definitely helps, if I ask. He cooks on his days off. He stops by the grocery store when needed. No one should feel like they have all of the responsibility! That’s just too much for one person! My fiance would never be mad at me if I asked for him to help!
My husband is the stay at home parent, has been for about 4 years now. Currently, I work 7 overnights (10 to 11 hours/night) in a row and then I have 7 overnights off. On the weeks that I work I get my 2 older girls up for school and then I get my youngest up to eat. If I feel like doing anything extra I will, but I’m on my feet all night so he doesn’t expect me to. He takes care of everything during that week. However, on my weeks off I flip to a day schedule and I make more meals, I help with laundry, dishes, whatever. It’s OUR house, it’s only right for me to take some responsibility, plus he deserves a day off too.
My husband and I have both had our turn at being the SAHP. When only one is working, they don’t really do anything but their own laundry. We are both very particular about our laundry so we decided many years ago we would each do our own. That’s not to say that the working parent doesn’t help at all. It’s all about how it’s addressed. Just remember that as long as the kids are alive and fed, nothing else matters. The bedding, the dusting, the “extra” can all wait and doesn’t all have to be done at once.
I’m wondering how old your kids are. Are they old enough to start helping around the home. Your husband is a shift worker does that mean his shift changes every so often .
Everything! We both work, own a business and love to have each other’s backs! I’m gone before him and he sleeps in. Takes our senior to school then goes to work. Picks him after comes home, cleans and might cook dinner. Still takes work calls while sweeping or doing laundry.
He might take a nap at 5:00pm and get up for dinner and do nothing some days. Other days he does everything because he’s had a slow day at work. I come home and at times everything is done so I watch Netflix or we play endless rounds of UNO until I’m ready for bed.
We are a team. We help each other and that’s it!
Oh, sometimes we both let the house go and lay on the couch all day and order Uber eats and play with the dogs. - Goals.
A LOT of guys are like this.
Try to explain to him that your job literally never stops. It’s from sun up to sun down, and it can go all night too. It’s very demanding. He can at least help with kids and cleaning because he created the kids and lives in the house. It’s bare minimum.
I’m working now but even when I was a sahm he would help out with dishes and laundry, picking up here and there. And for sure with the kids. Just because his shift brings in the money doesn’t make yours any less stressful or meaningful.
And we only have 2. Of course I tried to do most of the house stuff but he saw when I needed help and stepped up. It’s called teamwork
Lmao leave and take yourself a nice vacation for a few days & let him see how difficult it really is to be taking care of 6 humans separate from yourself humble his lazy ass
My hubby works alot so my job is the home but we only have 1 kid(not sure if I could do it all and tend to that many kids)…He takes out garbage and feed the dogs ,we share outside work…as far as the dad part he does anything she ask him to do and more.
Never had any trouble asking anything from him when it comes to his daughter who’s 8…we are older 47 and 48…
My husband does everything at home cooks clean and takes care of our son
He dies all the laundry. I do most of the cooking but some meals he will cook
All men are not the same. And not homes don’t train the man to do chores, they say chores are for women. Especially in Africa or Nigeria where I come from, chores and rearing kids are women’s duties. The boy child is exempted from anything that does not have to exert muscles.
Some men or some homes however see everyone as needing these skills as survival skills as one may find oneself away from home and no one to do those chores. So, in such homes, men get trained to do same chores as women.
My dad was a very intentional person. So also his siblings. Growing up, he would say females have fragile hands like babies and can’t wash properly, so, he does all the washing and most of the deep cleaning of the house. He was also an excellent cook and taught us to cook. In fact, we preferred him in the kitchen especially during the weekend when my mom.has to attend her age grade meetings and all. He was a very involved man in our lives. More involved with the children than our moms ever were. He was our go to person.
To think he was a military man and had time for his family makes me wonder how he did it?
Any man can be involved. It won’t take anything from them. It won’t reduce their manliness. My dad washed for us till his dying days at 78 when he died last year. I loved spending the festive period at home because I don’t get to do anything because he was there to help with washing and unpacking and packing.
If I have to date or marry someone, it would be someone who wouldn’t mind helping out. I can’t imagine being with a man who can’t for the love of his ego do anything useful around the house he lives in and for his family joyfully. He needs to show care and love through his intentional involvement with his family
Absolutely nothing. Unless I ask a million times. Maybe dishes once a month
Me and my partner work 2 full time jobs both owning our own business and do that after we finish our day jobs, he pays a bigger portion of our rent along with other necessities bills groceries ,does the gardens.
Housework and dinner i do it all. He does bathtime and looks after our daughter on days i nurse late.
House duties are all up to me on days im too tired to cook he pays for takeout for all of us as hes not kitchen savvy at all we work as a team so it evens out
He is a stay at home dad and does everything. I have to be mindful of taking the stress off of him and doing my fair share.
My daughter’s dad does bath time every night he’s home. He works a labour job and sometimes from 6am-7pm, if I ask him to cook, he will. He doesn’t do much for laundry and cleaning but usually doesn’t have much time
I have the exact same issue… only diff is I work all day long and still have to go home an do everything… absolutely lazy men!! It’s so draining an u eventually bcome resentful towards them…
I help my partner with what ever needs doing . Granted I don’t do the folding of the laundry because I don’t fold it the right way but if I’m not doing anything and she is then I ask if there is anything I can do … the. When it’s all done we sit down together
Same boat …not 6 kids so it’s not as stressful as what you have to do each day but yes idk why men work and feel that excuses then from work at home . Try sitting down and making a chore list for everyone depending on how old your kids are.
Ewww throw that man child back to his mama xx
I’m a sahm and hubby helps with everything, always has. On his days off I have a lie in he gets up and cleans etc, he doesn’t cook very but that’s because me and the kids love cooking.
He used to be at home with me so knows how hard it is to look after 4 kids whilst running a home.
My husband does 80% of the laundry, all the washing up, day to day tidying (I do a big top to bottom tidy once a week) he helps out with my 6 year old after school if he is home so I can have a break. Cooking is 70/30 on me but I like cooking. He is 100% in charge of the dog - walking daily etc even if it means getting up at 5am.
I do most of the childcare, school runs, homework etc, and jobs like changing bedding, hanging away the laundry when dried.
He works shifts in our local hospital (30 mins away) and does a lot of overtime too.
I know I am very very lucky and he does more than most but I believe that everything should start off 50/50 and see who can help out with what. If I need extra help he picks up the slack and vice versa.
My husband does more than I do he is the best! We work together i have some health issues that keep me from doing somethings
I’m a stay at home mom to my 1 child. My man works full time but helps with the food shopping with me. Does dishes once a while. Cooks once a week. Helps clean I also watch his grandson
Walk out the door when he pulls in the driveway and don’t come back til the kids are in bed.
My fiance and I work opposite shifts. I’m at work in the early early morning so he gets the kids up and off to school (I set out clothes and their snacks/water bottles the night before). I cook dinner when he is at work. He cooks dinner his two days off. I work at 2am so he puts thr kids to bed every night. I do help with their showers, they are 8 and 9 so pretty self sufficient just need reminders). I wash the dishes, he puts them away. He takes out the trash and goes to the laundry mat every Sunday. I fold all the clothes and put away mine and kids, he puts his own away. I also clean the whole apartment, he vacuums. We have a good system that works for us.
I’ve been here. My x did nothing not work or provide just add on to me gladly drink 1.5 glass a milk a meal and never think he should of purchased any.
Lol I’m not even a sahm I work 50 hours a week my so doesn’t help me with anything I get our son ready for school I bath him we mostly eat take out BC I don’t feel like cooking he will cook every now and then but as for cleaning I have to do all that myself or it doesn’t get done im 31 weeks pregnant and still don’t get any help at all and our son is 5 years old it is what it is tho I guess. He does buy the groceries but I’m the one who has to put it all away
My husband helps with literally everything. Dishes, cooking, kids, literally everything
For us it depends on the day but we both work and have a 5 year old and another on the way. I’ll put a load on, he will hang it out, bring it in and I’ll fold and put away. I’ll cook and he will clean as I bath our daughter. I do the beds, we both do the vacuuming, I’ll mop but we both tidy the rooms. Some days I do it all, some days he does. It’s a team effort and not always smooth sailing but we both contribute!
He will do laundry… when absolutely needed
I have never been a sahm, but I have been a single mother without any help (father never in the picture)… I worked full time, put myself through nursing school and took care of my baby.
That meant I held down the whole house, so when I started dating again I told my husband I need someone that comes at me equally, I’m not raising another child.
He is grown, he can help. It’s his home too. He should absolutely be helping.
I hear of this so much and feel exhausted for you I take care of majority of the cleaning (he will vacuum quite regularly). My husband cooks, helps with the kids etc. But if I ask him to help me there is no hesitation. We have 2yo and 4yo, I work 4 days a week and he does shift work. If I was in your position then I’d rather be a single Mum
Marriage should be a partnership. I live in a marriage where I worked full time and he still thought I should do all the “ woman’s work “ After I left 11 years into it. My son was 7 at the time and was vacuuming and said “ I don’t know why dad called this women’s work. It’s not that hard”. I like to lost it.
I don’t really get much help either. I also work too. He’ll maybe help with the dishes once or twice a week. My days are rushed and hectic. So I get home from work and rush to make dinner, tidy up, do some laundry, while he’s usually sitting on his phone, headphones on, watching streamers while ignoring everyone
My husband works 4 days 10 hour days. On his days off he cooks. Every other night he helps get our 10 yr old ready for bed. Also on his days off he helps with laundry and eveyday cleaning (vacuuming, cleaning kitchen, cleaning bathroom, etc. So yes it is not okay for him to be a dick about it.
I do it all plus I work … I even mow
My ex husband did nothing. Didn’t even have a job. My new boyfriend and I split everything! And if we ever have kids I’m confident that things will stay that way.
Oh, that’s gonna end up a divorce. Women who have to parent their husbands lose attraction because eventually we equate hubby to a child. And while society seems to sexualize female children, it is not reciprocal, which men don’t seem to understand. Men want child brides, but women do not want child husbands.
I work more than he does (typically). We have no agreement. We just do it. He likes to cook, but we have opposite schedules so I usually only see him once a week.
So after kid # 3 you didn’t realize it? My advice is to stop expectations of other people. You made the choice. If he’s a poor husband or poor father in your opinion and you don’t want to deal with it then don’t. Otherwise ask a family member to babysit for a day or hire one with his money. He’s already shown you who he is, what he is capable of and not capable of, so just know that is what you’re going to get unless he makes the decision to change. You can’t fix him so why let it stress you out and make you upset. You are in control of this.
My husband works nights, 12 hour rotating shifts at a high-stress job.
He takes my oldest to school every morning when he gets home after getting her up and ready. He’s a full time student, as well, so does his school work before bunking down for the day. Gets up early in the afternoons to play with our youngest and give me time to do my school work, read, or just have some time to myself. He helps with dinner and we all eat together before he showers and gets ready to go.
On his off days, it’s split. He helps with chores and kids and we do everything together.
Working takes a lot out of you. So does staying at home and taking care of everyone. You should be taken care of, too. It’s a partnership. The work at home never ends. There are no off days. No sick days. No breaks. If you don’t work together, burn out is inevitable. Talk to him. Tell him you need help. Open and honest communication.
Good luck, hun.
We live in an apartment with no laundry so he takes all the laundry for the week and goes and washes and it at the laundromat every weekend (laundry for 5 people so it’s generally a lot!). He also picks up any messes around the house that I haven’t gotten too, loads the dishwasher If the sink is full, packs lunches for himself and the big kids, does the big kids bed time routine (I do the baby since he’s still nursing), and takes the dog out. On the weekends we split all the heavy cleaning chores if there are any (like giving the bathroom a deep clean or cleaning the carpets or whatever. Yes I stay at home and he goes out to work but when I’m home my job is the kids. Everybody lives in the house so everybody helps clean it up. He does alot with the kids bc he helped make them and they’re also his responsibility. I mostly handle the cooking bc I just cook way better we talk about it quite often to make sure that no one is getting overwhelmed, and honestly it took a while for us to get where we are with it. We’ve been married 10 years this March, and we have gone to counseling to get alot of this down. Good luck!
My old man pays all the bills, he cuts the grass, does yard work. I buy groceries do laundry and house chores and my kids have chores to do.
He is showing you what the rest of your life with him will be like. If you don’t like it, then only you can change it. Find a job, start working so he either has to step up and help or has to get a sitter. Then if he continues being like this, save up your money and you and the kids leave. Then you no longer help him with anything.
I feel this. My husband works hard all day and then spends time on his computer all night. Although if hears the kids fighting he will stop to intervene. He does cook though. But sometimes I wish he’d do more to help me
We help each other out.
3 boys under 4.
He helps cook,clean, laundry , kids bath time, kids bed time.
I’m a sahm atm…. He NEVER expects anything to be done. And on the days nothing is done he doesn’t complain. He just does stuff- never questions why something isn’t done etc.
He truely is amazing and my boys and I are lucky to have him
Maybe sit him down and have a talk.
My husband works but he helps me with literally everything.
We have 3 boys 14, 11 and 6. I have pretty much worked from home all their lives. I’m not a neat freak and lucky either is my husband… it’s more important to enjoy the the kids! Dishes can wait until morning. Didn’t put all the folded clothes away? Who cares you read bed time stories instead!! My husband’s specialty is hamburger helper… if I don’t cook. I’m ok with that! Lol I don’t eat it but our boys do. Try to connect on that level. Be present and try not to sweat the small stuff…I know easier said than done, but they are little once.
We both work so honestly its whoever gets to it. There is no agreement. He helps with wash, dinner, cleaning, helps with kids.
My ol man pays car payment, insurance
Dose laundry takes our son too his appointments 4 hours away.
He dose dishes anything I ask except diaper duty.
We may live with my mom but he pulls his weight so my mom can rest too.
How long have you been together? Has he always been this way or are you just realizing it
How old are the kids? If they are old enough to help, teach them to help
Taking care of a family of 8 is not a light task
As a stay at home mom I generally do all of the cooking cleaning etc. But if I skip something he 99% of the time won’t mention it, or if I ask for help my hubby HELPS. If I ask for takeout because I am exhausted, he’ll order with a smile. Support and communication is vital.
It sounds like he doesn’t respect, realize or appreciate what you do
If you have spoken to him and he hasn’t changed, there is no point in beating a dead horse. Leave him, or hire help with his money.
He needs to be spending time with the kids. As a stay at home mom the house and cooking is your job. You can’t spring on him that he has to do dinner.
Hubby did more but now not so much poorly
I’m a stay at home mum atm and my partner works. He regularly comes home if im tired will cook dinner, helps with vacuuming if im stressed and does dishes. He’s pretty good like that. I mean most the time
I cook but he helps 40, to my 60. I am 37 weeks pregnant but he’s always been like this! Xx
Soon as he gets home tell him your shift is also over. Sit right next to him. Wait it out and if he asks about dinner of clothes or whatever just say well this is all that I did and anything else you can handle. I’ll help you but since you clocked out so will I. Love you mean it.
Hire a cleaning service for one thing. I do everything house related…cooking, groceries, kid stuff, load/unload dishwasher, etc. but I have a cleaning person who come a couple times a week.
I watch kids at home with our son who’s a year old. I make sure the stuff from the kids that aren’t ours are washed/put away. My fiancé has done bath time since he was born from the occasional times I do it because all the kids left early. I usually get dinner cooked by the time he’s home but I don’t he has no problem cooking. We leave our child’s toys a mess until he goes to bed them we both organize them/put them away. I do all of the laundry and keeping bathrooms clean but that’s also because I don’t like the way he does laundry lol
Mine gets up at 3 am to drive an hour & half to work . Then had a 2 in half hr home. So I don’t expect him to do much by the time he gets home after 6 pm. I have OCD. So I just make sure my home is to my likings. It’s def not worth fighting over. I hear alot of I do r have energy, I am tired all the time. I have been there done that also. I guess I am lucky enough to have great vitamins I put in my system daily. That helps me get I gear to have everything done. Everyone have a blessed & never stressed day
We both work so it’s whoever gets home and gets to it first when I was s stay home mom anything pertaining to the house I did and on weekends he would usually take over the cooking
Well He can huff and puff all he wants but he was present when those 6 kids were being made so he can just get off his ass and help. Iam sure he gets 2 days off a week, so when are your 2 days off? At one point in my life I was taking care of 10 family members, not one of them except my mom would lift a finger to help. I worked 50+ hours did all the cleaning cooking grocery shopping etc. I got pissed off one day and went on strike. for one month I did nothing, no cooking cleaning grocery shopping, I suspended the cable for 1 month I only did my moms, mine and my sons laundry. Oh boy did that start a shit show. I wrote up leases for everyone in the house and in the lease I assigned daily chores and monthly responsibilities including paying rent and a portion of the bills including a fulltime house keeper and cook that they would be responsible for paying. a couple signed and we moved forward. The freeloaders that didn’t sign got eviction notices and were booted the [email protected]#k out. It is ok to write up a contract for your husband. I mean you work 24/7 without pay and how dare he huff and puff about helping out. If he doesn’t want to help go on strike and see how he likes wearing dirty clothes to work, no hot meals, no groceries in the house etc. Sometimes it takes extreme measures to get your point across and make people see you are not a force to reckon with. Also the older kids should have chores to do daily, teach them how to cook and clean and do laundry. Also teach the younger ones how to keep their space clean and do little things to help in the kitchen, how to fold laundry etc. Y’all are a family… You are not the house maid… You are the neck that turns the head and without you the head falls off the shoulders… Remember that…
It would be great if he helped more and maybe you guys can talk about it and negotiate it at a better time - not when people are hungry and tensions are high. I’ve been both a SAHM and a working mom. Just remember though - working moms often do EVERYTHING that you are doing PLUS they work 40+ hours a week outside the home. I don’t think it’s too much to expect you to have dinner ready just because of cleaning and washing bedding. Just my honest opinion…
Your job is to maintain the home . You chose to stay home . Ever think of the stress on him to provide for 8 people financially?!
Been together 12 yrs, 6 small kids, both also work ft. He gets them up and off to school, as i work at 4am, i do baths, homework, find and get their clothes ready and his, and he cooks for them. Just our routine. At night at 8:30 that’s our time, kids have to be bed… we watch tv, eat, cuddle, among other things…
He parents when he’s home, makes dinner, helps with house stuff, etc. and I am SAHM. He does it bc we’re partners. We just do what needs to be done for our family. The kids also help with chores since they are a part of the family.
Mine works construction on the road, gone 10 days home 4. He pays all the house bills and I’m home full time with the kids and run our business. All 3 kids have daily chores and he jumps right in when he’s home with the business and around the house. He’s been working local the past 2 months and he does his share of homework with the kids, cleaning and laundry without asking. Families are supposed to work as a team and I’m blessed to have the man I have!
Stay at home, homeschooling mom, and my husband works from home. It’s been like this since we’ve had kids. I do most appointments, errands, schooling, cleaning, and cooking voluntarily because he works so hard go provide for us. He is really good at organizing so he does that, he cuts the grass, takes the garbage out, or does any kind of house or car maintence. He will occasionally cook if it’s a specific meal he’s been wanting to cook and he’ll occasionally help clean the kitchen after dinner if I made a big meal. I will say my kids have chores, too. They each have to put their clothes away, make their beds, and clear the dishes from the table. One has to wipe the table after a meal and the other wipes the floor down.
You have been with him 6 plus years probably longer , had 6 kids with knowing he was like this the whole time and now it’s a problem?