Why did you include him if it’s been 9 yrs. I mean if I hadn’t had any communication with him I wouldn’t try to find him through his girlfriend. I’d be like oh well if I couldn’t find him then I’d move and if he had anything to say it’d be to late. Did you create this madness by calling? I hope everything works out. Always let sleeping dods lye.
Just prove to the court that he hasnt been there for the kids for 9 yrs and they should let you move
If he hasnt had contact in that long, I wouldnt have even worried about what he says tbh. But since you did contact over it- If he does say no, and you go through the court & can prove he hasnt had contact all this time, I’m pretty sure the judge will just say okay to you moving anyway. By now, you could have gotten him for abandonment, and you wouldnt have had to even worry about his thoughts or opinions whatsoever
Go to court, if u guys were married. If not n u have custody move.
File for child abandonment. You will be able to move without his permission
File for abandonment take his rights problem solved
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Why would you even tell him anything anyway? Those kids are yours by yourself and your husband’s no one else’s. Telling him only causes problems for you that was the worst thing you could have done on less he really doesn’t care about the kids and he tells you he doesn’t care what you do or where you go. My advice change your number and don’t give it to anyone who knows him who may give it to him if he ends up having an issue with you moving to New York.
I don’t think it’s going to be a problem. He hand been involved for a Kong time.
if he hasnt bothered for that long just move. he will never know anyway 
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honestly, I would just move and tell him after the fact. Let him know what your new address is.
Is there a judgement saying that you need his permission? He already lives in a different part of the country so I highly doubt any judge would rule against you.
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I wouldnt have even text him…why did u? Only thing I can think of is ur still worried about him or hanging on…9 years hes not seen his kids…and ur first thought is to text him?
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I believe it only has to do if you have a custody agreement which has visitation, and moving states would make it harder or change the visitation. If he lives far as heck away on the other side of the country, and your move doesnt affect him, I BELIEVE that he doesnt really have a say. You could technically have his parental rights stripped for abandonment, being that it’s been 9 years.
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Just move! Screw him!
It’s been 9 years with no contract? Why even tell him you plan on moving? It’s not his business he has no right to tell you anything. Go make a better life and move if you want. Hes not in your life. Keep it that way
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If its been 9 years with no contact file for abandonment.
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Not your husband… not his say. 
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If he dont speak to them no communication I wouldn’t tell him nothing,
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If its been 9 years I wouldnt have even bothered telling him. He hasnt bothered for birthdays or anything in that long it’s prob not gonna change. Plus after a year of not seeing your kid(s) and no contact I’m pretty sure court rules that abandonment and you wouldnt ‘need’ his permission anyway.
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Stop losing sleep for nothing. & Go!
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you’re the main caregiver if he hasn’t been around for nine years or bothered to be in his kid’s life then he has no say as you’re the only custodian parent caring for the children. You don’t have to worry about a thing. Even if he was a jerk and took you to court no judge would ever agree with him he doesn’t even live anywhere near you or make regular parenting time for the children.also if he doesn’t pay you child support he wouldn’t want to go to court anyways because he’d have a hell of a bill to reimburse you with.
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I don’t know why you felt the need to contact him at all. What was the reason? He hasn’t been in your life for 9 years, just don’t understand .
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9 years. Damn girl I would have filed for full custody and never not have to worry again. He wants to throw a stink now… time to go to court right now for a parenting plan and file for damn child support. See if you can get the courts to go back for the last 9 years. If you had any help from the state at all. They will go after him. He wants to make your life hard… as a parent it’s his responsibility to support them.
All you have to do is inform him you’re moving. If he wants to stop you he can petition the court, but if he hasn’t said or done anything in 9 years he’s technically abandoned them and the court will see it that way
I recently moved out of state. My kids father hadn’t had contact in 4yrs. I petitioned the court for permission to change docile. I had to send him copies of the court papers to the last known address. He showed up. He tried to keep me in Michigan. Judge wasn’t happy with him but according to law he gets to explain why he hasn’t been in their lives, is behind in child support etc. The judge let me move anyway then set a date to hear his case. I had to go back. If I didn’t I would’ve had a warrant for parental kidnapping. When I showed up with a lawyer he gave up. I had to allow him contact with the kids so I set up a Facebook page. He doesn’t even try to contact them. I advise you to file in court. Since he lives out of state anyway he probably won’t show up. You would be granted change in docile by default. If he does explain to the judge that he hasn’t seen them, doesn’t pay child support etc.
You can legally move where you want doesn’t matter if he says no or not he hasn’t been a part of your childs life for 9 years
And clarification, you don’t NEED his permission to move. If your custody paperwork says you have to inform him. Then inform him. But he doesn’t get to say no you can’t. All he can do is petition the court to fight it. Given the circumstances you’ve mentioned the judge or commissioner will laugh in his face. Provided he even shows up to a hearing.
If he has zero contact with the kids and you have to search for a contact number for him then do not ask. The courts consider that he has abandoned the kids. He has zero rights for input. At 6 months of no emotional support of a child by joy exercising visitation even if they are paying child support they are considered as having abandoned them.
Unless you have a custody agreement with the courts, he has no choice in the matter. And even if you DO have an agreement with the court, let him try to take you to court. He obviously hasn’t cared thus far. I’ll doubt he’ll care enough to actually take you to court. And the courts are going to say “well you haven’t been involved thus far and you already live X miles away anyways” they’ll side with you.
Personally since he has had no contact in 9 years. I would have waited until after the move to say anything. What’s done is done. But in your case I would consult a lawyer to find out what the rules are in your state. Does he pay child support? Can you file an abandonment petition and terminate his rights? Those kinds of things. But if he’s not really involved then you should just go. If the move is better for your current family situation just do it.
If it’s been 9 years then you should be able to get full custody in court. Talk to a lawyer.
You shouldn’t have told him anything that’s just borrowing trouble, even if he wouldn’t win. But you gave him a chance to make your life miserable if he chooses to. I had a similar situation with my grandchildren. I got custody temporarily (at least on my part) The baby mama lived 4blocks away and I told her when I got them that she could see them any time she wanted. Not 1phone call from her on birthdays, even Christmas! The one time I asked her and her mother to keep them for 30min while I ran to the drugstore for cough medicine and Tylenol because all 3were sick(I’d been up 3days and 2 nights with the baby when the 2&3 yr. Old got sick also, the answer was no! Over 8 yrs. and no contact or interest shown by her, other than that one time. So when we sold our home and moved to our home in SC I didn’t notify her. I did file for back child support though and got her income tax twice!lol I also filed against my stepson for child support.
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Why would you even tell him? Tell him to take you to court to stop you if it gets that far now. If it’s not drawn up in any kind of court papers about living arrangements leave it alone
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He hasn’t seen them in 9 years it shouldn’t matter your raising those kids
So you have ever right to move
HE wont have ground to stand on in court. he just wants control and thats obvious. Dont tel him and just move.
Just go to court and since he doesn’t see them, the court will let u move
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I wouldnt have asked i would have just sent the new address.
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He has no say if what you do. Hes been absent for 9 years and I’m assuming you are court ordered full custody.
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Why even tell him at this point
Why would u even tell them? That was dumb. Mistake made. sorry. my opinion.
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Whatever the court order says
Just go! If he doesn’t have anything to do with them then why now?! I always moved with my first child and never had issues…
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Well if he hasnt spoken to you or the children. Hasnt seen them or helped provide for them financially in that length of time. It could been seen as child abandonment. And they could terminate his rights and you could move anywhere but its a stretch. If you want just let him know and go to court with proof that he hasnt provided any support in any way. Just if you just up and leave and hes on the B.C he could call law enforcement on you just to be spiteful.
He already across the country. I wouldn’t have said shit.
Sometimes I think women like the drama
You’re nicer than I am. 9 years of no contact, I wouldn’t have even said anything…
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Are you they custodial parent? He will probably not care.
Go to court is the best way to do this.
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Court order should state if you can move out of state with kids. If u have no court papers then u do as u please. Make sure u follow the court rules if u have papers! Good luck
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9 years of no contact…
Why are you still even trying with the dead beat? Cut your losses and just move.
Obviously there is no court order so go.
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Why would you even tell him smh 
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You have to check with courts in NJ you wouldn’t be able to without him agreeing or a judge
Honestly, you’re stressing over nothing. Don’t stress over a response that you literally have no control of. What you can control is the fact that you’re moving. Focus on that and the fact that you are the custodial parent so at this point… 9 years no contact with children clearly has no regard for… girl it’s a courtesy you’re even asking his opinion.
Move, hes abandon them he had no say. The courts will just laugh
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Do you have joint custody? Has he been paying child support or traveling to see the? If not he has no say especially if he doesn’t even live in the same state.
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Not as long as half of these I read that are novels. Why are you even asking?? You’ve done literally EVERYTHING without his knowledge. Who gives a hoot if you move. He’ll find you if he changes his mind.
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Do it right, the courts should side with you.
Contact a family law attorney in the state where your orders were issued. Typically, given the length of time dad has gone without parenting involvement, you would be granted a relocation by the court without hesitation. Again though, I urge you to contact an attorney to fully discuss.
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Why worry just go n do what is right for u n your kids n husband he hasnt worried about his kids in 9 years so why start worrying now? He has your number if he wants contact with his kids he will ring u
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After nine yrs the court will see it your way advice sometimes will be given over phone if you call court ask them what is best advice or free consult attorney
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Please don’t stress. I agree with Cyndy Puente. Good luck.
Move. It’s your right. After 9 years no contact or anything. It’s apparent that he doesn’t care about the kids. So move and enjoy your life and kids.
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Why would you even tell him at this point
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Why the hell did you even say anything? He clearly hasn’t cared what would change that?
If there’s any problem now you let it in your life
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He lives across the country , you or EX had to move right? Nothing was done about that. You let him know so unless there is something in divorce papers you can’t move more than so many miles from Ex, well he already has. Just move and be happy!!
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Being in your kids life is a privilege. It isn’t fair that he does not appreciate that. Let him go.
Your putting way too much thought into what he thinks or what he will say. You need to put as much thought as he put into the last nine years.(not anythought at all) you do whats best for you and your family if he really cared he would have been involved way before now. Good luck.
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Pretty sure whether he pays child support or not, he’s legally abandoned them. I would check the laws in your state. But I also wouldn’t stress over it, easier said than done. Get the information you need and go from there.
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It’s been 9 years, 0 contact. Just keep it that way. You’re doing the absolute most , if he cared about those kids he would have been in their lives.
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I can’t imagine any judge in their right mind would stop you from moving, given the circumstances.
Instead of asking for permission, I would have texted the new address
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Girl move he has no say he dum
9yrs? I bet you could easily get him with abandonment.
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Court will side with you
Why even tell him, he hasnt had contact in 9 yrs and at his choice!!..if he wants contact its upto him to then find them or when they’re of legal age the kids can choose to…its not like you’re keeping him away. C’mon this is simple!!
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Excuse my language, but f@$k him… Move and be happy… 
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Just move…he hasn’t bothered in 9 years so I doubt he will actually take action on the move. Seems as tho he wants to try and control your life.
Unless there’s a court order he can’t stop you especially if he doesn’t live in the same state and has never had custody. I’ve been through it
Ideally having no contact you should have just moved and then said something if you felt it necessary.
Why consult him in the first place? After 9 yrs of silence he’s given up the right to weigh in. Move be happy and dont think about him! With social media he can find the kids if he ever wants to.
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Quit barrowing trouble. He hasn’t made contact in 9 yrs. Move and then send him contact information.If he has a problem with it he can pay to take you to court. He only has the power over you that you let him have.
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You owe him nothing. He has walked away from his rights.
What?!? Why’d you even tell the gf? Just move.
Why is he even relevant??
Don’t invent trouble. Cross that bridge when you come to it.
He has no say. 9 years and zero contact is abandonment…sorry buddy.
Enjoy NY
Fuuúuuuuuuck him. NINE mother lovin years?!?! Oh hunny, he is practically dead to those kids. Move on with your life and tell him to shove it up is ass
You’ll have to get the courts involved.
Why do you then inform him about your lives? You have given him the permission to be manipulative with you. Why do you even seek his face?
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Why would you even inform him if he hasn’t been involved?
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Honestly you shouldn’t have even said anything, frankly it’s not of his business what you do or where you move. He made the choice to remove himself and now you should let him be. I’d be blocking him.
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This is actually a legal question.
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I would just move… If he has not been involved in that long and no court agreement… I would just go on and live my life
no I don’t think you have to get the court involved he made his choice you do what you have to do for the kids cuz you had the kids I feel that if a man has been out of the children’s life the man has no say so now if the men’s been in the life and I will let him know. And it goes by versa if it was the mother people nowadays want to say it’s the father’s fault and it’s the father does there’s the father does that but come on people it goes both ways there’s a two-way street what good for the father is good for the mother now if you don’t like this comment then I think shut up and do what you have to do
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I guess my question is why you felt the need to look for his Girlfrnd and pass that infi along after 9 yrs that he hasnt been in your kids lives?What was the point??
Go to court get approval to move. If you don’t it could get you in trouble! It is a simple legal document!
Why is it his business what you do with your children if he hadn’t been involved for almost 10 years? You didn’t have to inform him of anything. Unless you have court order stating so? If not, go get your ass to court and get full custody. There’s no need for him to have any sort of recognition if he doesn’t want to be involved.
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Why are you eve giving him to option and control. He left and hasn’t been in their life for years.
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If it’s in court papers that you have to contact the other person of phone number change, move, ect then you have to contact the other party. But if there is custody an he should have been seeing the kids an hasn’t that could of resulted in an attempt of court. I’m going through it right now. I would go back to court.
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I can’t imagine him saying no. If he pays support, you will have to notify the court.
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You maybe able to charge him with abandament and termanate his parental rights
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I’m fairly certain the courts would over rule him and let you move, seeing as he has abandoned his kids for so long
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