How did the kids get there? You will need to do a 10 day ban. Not outside remove of all computer devises except for homework, remove cable boxes from their room. Anything they enjoy, disconnect and remove for 10 days.
Show her a video of what happens if she gets kidnapped…happens every day.
Removal of all electronics
No phone. That will kill a teen
Whoop her sorry little ass. Damn
First and foremost get an alarm system that notifies you of any of the doors or windows open…second I would instal a parental app on their phones that has tracking capabilities without them knowing…take away all privileges and make them earn them back…they would be grounded for at least a month. Also teach them about the dangers of sneaking out…what if something happened to them on the way there or home and u didn’t know where they were? I’d also have a conversation with the girlfriends parents
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Hope you had a long talk with them both not screaming but stern conversation about breaking the trust and having character etc etc and then they must earn your trust again!! Until they come up with something to do, they don’t go out. This creates lots of thought about what they did. This way they will want to please you rather than begrudge tasks given to them.
I really don’t punish my child either. But if she did something like that there would be so much discussion about it she would be just asking for a punishment instead lol.
I see parenting as teaching my child what I think is right or wrong and helping her learn to make good decisions. In this case they made a bad decision and they need to be aware of how that made you feel, both scared and disrespected. Whether you choose a harsh punishment or not there definitely needs to be some communication as to why it wasn’t ok. Since they were sneaky, they knew it wasn’t ok. So I would be asking why they felt a need to disobey and be sneaky.
Did they do anything wrong when they were out? If not, why didn’t they just ask or let you know they wanted to go?
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I did this. Snuck out my window with a ladder. Walked around the neighborhood with my friend who slept over. Met up with other friends whose parents didn’t give a crap where they were at any given time of the day. My parents however, found me not in my room. Saw the ladder. Removed it. And when I got home and saw the ladder gone I freaked out. Was grounded the entire rest of the summer. It happened right after school ended. Wasn’t allowed to go anywhere until like mid August. I could go grocery shopping with my mom or to my grandma’s or out with the family. That was it. I was allowed to watch TV. No cell phones or social media then. I’ll never forget that punishment. I was 16. I’m 37 now.
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Two girls at highschool were killed in a car accident after sneaking out to go to a party. They were 15 
Whatever punishment you decide to do ( I have no bad ice about that I’m sorry) sit them down and be real and honest with them about the dangers out there, especially at night. Being hit by a car, being kidnapped, everything. Basically scare them
Well your on the right track IMO. Have the talk as well.
She was bold to sneak out the house, wait it will get worse!
Punishment must exceed the crime or they will Commit another crime.
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Tell them how crazy the world is today. Show them all the news stories about kids being abducted. Scare them with honesty.
Take their bedroom doors off the hinges
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Chores are not a punishment of course maybe some extra unusual things possibly.
Being a parent of 21/18 girls I have to agree with Melissa that punishment is not always the answer. Showing your clear disappointment in their choices and discussing the issue from your side hopefully will work. You want your kids to keep talking to you in their teenage years not learn to be better at hiding things because they are going to do things as teenagers but you want to try to get them to make the right decisions for themselves. You won’t always be their to tell them what to do but your voice can be in their heads guiding them. Try to remember what it was like to be their age and don’t be frightened to share this with your kids. I think we try to restrict too much rather than guide these days. Make them aware of the dangers and boundaries and how much you worry and make fair compromises after listening to them. Good luck.
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Take their fones or anyway they communicate with friends away for few days they put their safety at risk also, talk to them about the danger of what they did
When i was a kid the thing that worked with me was knowning how disapoimted someone was in me never did it agian. Pushiments are nothing but knowning your perents are disapointed in you is the worse felling.
My look on it is punishment like grounding or taking things away never worked. When we got punished we tried harder the next time to sneak out without actually never getting caught, but I would definitely tell her right now is probably not a good time because of all the creeps out there. Talk to her, tell her the nights she can go to her friends late at night are on weekends not school nights.
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Whatever it is… Will set precedent… Because there will be a lot more opportunities to do this in the future. So need go a little on the overboard side, especially since it’s kinda a big deal. So she will remember this next time she considers sneaking out.
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BUST their butts! No phone, no friends, no TV. Nothing! School and home.
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For her safety you have to be firm it may not be a crime but these days you can’t take chances. Chores and grounded for rest of month sounds reasonable for first offense but make sure she understands you concerns and if it happens again it will be more severe
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I’m very open with my 16 year old. I’ve told her things I’ve done that I wasn’t proud of at her age. For punishment I’d take away all electronics for 3 days. No Tv. Of course if we are sitting as a family she is allowed but she cannot choose or hold the remote. This is one of those things where you have to control your anger. If they k ow you will get angry, they might not go to you for the important things. Good luck
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Take away phones too. That seems to work for a lot of teens now days. They hate losing their phones.
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I was a teen once an was smart enough to not sneak off or run away bc I knew if I did my ass would have been sore for a mnth or more🤣my 13yr old son asked the other day how it would make me feel if ran away. I said go for it if you feel you will have an easier better life then you have now. He said you wouldn’t be worried about me I said nope bc if you are old enough to run away from my room mates house then you are old enough to be on your own without someone there to take care of you. He turned around and went to his room and never ran away
Listen kids will be kids!!!
Like the department of children an families has told me PICK AND CHOOSE your BATTLES with the kids an everyone’s life will be much easier!!! Taking things away is not going to teach her to not take off again. Let her do as she pleases. If she isnt hurting herself or others then leave her the fuck alone!!! Let her grow up and not be a baby the rest of her life depending on mommy to take care of her and her problems🤦♀️
Your children really shouldn’t be your BFF, you are their mom & you should act like one, Be there for them when they need you, listen to them when they talk & punish them when needed, Now as for sneaking out of the house, We all have done that, Punishment is needed, Take away the phone, computer, TV, Some extra chores & SIT DOWN & TALK to them, Explain why this really isn’t something they should be doing, Explain to them, you love them & don’t want anything bad to happen to them, AS a parent you should know all this & be doing all this
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Be a parent first bff later actions have consequences
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No phone for a month, grounded for 3weeks. She can’t be your teenage daughter and little BFF. Those two things just don’t happen with out the child thinking they can get away with stuff…
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Well, as mum of a 28 yo, a 19 yo, and a 13 yo, I found that the most effective way of dealing with it is to be sure they are aware not only of your disappointment, but also your worries.
I sat down my son (my eldest child) once, and told him every thought that went through my head when he was late, or went out without telling me where.
I tried punishment. It didn’t work. He just got sneakier. It’s not healthy.
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If she is headstrong she will do it again talk to her let her know if she wants to go somewhere ask in this day and age with all the crazies it’s best to know where she is.
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Make them help around the house have a project or something that needs fixed example door wall cabinet have them help my dad had me clean a chicken coop also while you are doing the project talk to them about what they did don’t scream but talk and let her have her side I’m still figuring out teen stuff iv been raising my teen bil last 5 years I go based on what my mom did and what I wish she did he’s 16 and honestly a really good kid I’m only 27 so luckily my teen years weren’t that long ago just remember she’s at that age were people start figuring themselves out and get into a little trouble pushing boundaries you have to have a firm but gentle hand
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Personally, have the talk about safety and what could have gone wrong. I wouldn’t take her friends away for two+ weeks, but extra, miserable chores everyday for the month, sure!
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Rosie D’Val check this out
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No phone or social media for a week or two
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You need to have a nice calm chat with them both about why this worries you, the things that could of happened to them, ask her how would she feel of she got up in the middle of the night and you were nowhere to be found… Def extra chores for them both everyday for the month, I’d take her phone at 9pm each night and not return it till after school the next day, if she is looking for stuff to fill her time get her to volunteer within the community. Tell them straight up if it happens again you will buy a baby monitor for her room or an alarm for the windows and doors. I’d be harder on the older one at 15 they should be able to come to you and ask can they stay out later …
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I would take cellphones away and ground them after a long talk about doing something like that.
I would leave the house without telling them and not answer your phone
Why’d they sneak out? I mean, think back to when you were a teen. Why’d you do it?
You can punish. But it doesn’t resolve much.
Are they feeling like they don’t get to see much of the person they went to see? Are they feeling like the parents are being too strict? Why? I’m not saying don’t punish at all but without trying to “Hear them” and mirror then it can go a diff direction. They can try harder to not get caught. You want the behavior to stop. They want ___________?
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I found that removing social media (phone) is effective.
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Grounded go nowhere and take phone
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,just tell them,if I didn’t care I would say nothing,it’s because I care for your safety that I,m grounding you so you can think about what could have happened,and remember that I love you with all my heart
My parents were super relaxed about discipline and I did things I should not have been doing. My first time being spanked and grounded, I was 16 and I snuck out to see a friend down the street who I was told to no longer talk to. That one grounding single handedly made me stop being a little shit.
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My parents taking my phone never did anything but piss me off more and make me want to keep doing stuff (granted I’d never snuck out). The only thing that ever genuinely helped was them sitting and talking to me like an adult and then grounding me for a week or two from going places.
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Grounded two weeks and helps with chores every day sounds reasonable and constant reminders to what happens to kids at night. They’re old enough to be told it’s not safe and exactly why it’s not
Take away that damn phone fr a whole month and no in between either… Rt now trafficking is at it’s highest!!! Ask & respect the answer point blank period, she get mad Oh well!
Being disappointed, continual long chats about why it was such a bad idea etc are far more effective. Never has a repeat offence. Suggest they should give up time to do something to show they are sorry and plan together what they are going to do as retribution.
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No friends over but I would say have a conversation with her I wish my parents would have talked to me instead of just yelling and punishing me
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Have her do a research project! Maybe something on teen disappearances, abductions? Have her write a full-on report as if her teacher gave it to her. Tell her it needs to be four to six pages. Such a topic may make her realize how dangerous her actions could have been. Also, great for her writing skills.
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I had one daughter that told me everything…legit everything. My other daughter told me jack shit about shit. No matter what I tried. Good luck hun
My son is my BFF and hardly ever punish him as well. He and his buddy snuck out to his buddy’s gfs house to see their girlfriends. I was lost for words when I found out they left and When I got ahold of him he came home and I couldnt even speak I was so upset and hurt mostly disappointed. Anyway, I took his phone and his xbox. Along with no friends over or him going to a friends house…and he had to sit with me at the games. We’re very active in sports with all the kids. I did that for 3 weeks. My son was the only one that got a punishment, others got no discipline what so ever. I hated the punishment, but it worked!! But my son will be the first one to tell his friends, no I can’t do this or that because he knows even tho it was hard on him it was even harder on me to punish him. He hates me being upset now more then ever. He learned his lesson and thankful I stuck to it. Good luck Momma! If you need a ear, just message me.
I found when you tell them how worried you are about them that it affects the more letting them know that you’re the one who wakes up and is worried I scared and doesn’t know what’s happened make it more real for them on your end I remember when I came home late and my father said he couldn’t sleep until he either knew I was safe inside or he got a phone call knowing I was safe somewhere else just knowing that he stayed up waiting for me and worried about me was enough for me to smarten up also let the punishment fit the crime I don’t believe in heavy punishments I think this time a good talking to and a warning
I would sit down with both of them, explain to them all the worries that were going through your mind. Have them research how many missing children and teens there are in the state you live in and write an essay about it. Tell them it’s due at the end of the month. Let them know that sneaking out is dangerous and that even though you appear mad, you were just worried about their safety. Also, wouldn’t take their phones as suggested just because if they were to sneak out again, Lord forbid it, and something bad were to happen, their phones could be their only life line.
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Please whatever the punishment is make sure it equal for both kids.
My sister had a daughter, my BIL had a son both from former relationship. The kids would get into trouble together. My nephew always got lesser punishment because he was a boy. Caused all kinds of problems in that household.
Ya ground her and take away her phone but also have her write you the reasons why she thought it would be a good idea to sneak out and what could have happened to her. Also have her write how she expects you to regain that trust that was broken when she chose to climb out that window! That really helped my 4 daughters-(well 2 out of 4 snuck out). Just recently my 40 year old came across a letter and she laughed so hard and said how stupid she’d been and what a great idea it was for her to write me that letter. Good luck!
if its the 1st time she’s ever done it there’s no punishment needed. just a nice heart to heart, but serious talk and a reminder that there will be consequences next time she does it.
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I snuck out ALOT as a kid. And I am really surprised that nothing ever happened to me.
I would sit her down and have a talk with her about how important trust is. Ask her what she thinks a reasonable punishment would be. I wouldn’t completely cut her off from her friends, but I would definitely cut down on the time she is allowed to communicate/hang out with them for a few days.
The way you react to this is going to set the tone for the future. It’s important not to react too harshly, especially if you’ve had a good relationship. She needs to know that when she makes a mistake, her world isn’t going to come crashing down. That isn’t reasonable.
She needs to learn a lesson, rather than feeling attacked or shame.
If she has a cellphone take it for a few days or a week
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Have them watch a show on child trafficking. Kidnapped girls are popping up way too much.
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Next time just sneak out with them! I would not allow them out for a few weeks and limit screen time mandatory family nights(game night etc)
Have her choose her grounding… If she doesn’t choose long enough, triple it. If she chooses longer, tell her what you would have chose but keep what she picked. Worked for my grandmother raising all the grand babies
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Also be speaking to the girlfriends parents and what ever punishment is fit for her should also be used for the stepson… Ask the parents to inform you as soon as they show up there next time
I’d maybe have the teen watch something about real life dangers teens sneaking out can cause.
I am a visual learner. I did better being shown what the consequences could be rather than, cleaning my parents house.
I don’t have any off the top of my head documentaries or movies. But im sure there are lots out there.
I can tell you I’ve had to do plenty of dishes as consequences. But there’s nothing that ever stuck with me like an eye opener has.
Or the research project suggestion above is perfect! understanding why parents don’t let children run the night makes it more of a realization, than a dumb rule they think should be flexible.
Why did they sneak out…Was it very late…Is the the stepsons girlfriend older than them…I think if it was me id sit them down talk to them of the dangers of going out late at night without anyone knowing and come up with some ground rules…Talk to them as people dont just lay down the law…If its something she wouldnt normally do then maybe there was a reason…
Hay Nice 
just think when you did it your mom was pissed off at you so now the table have turned so you know your older sister showed you how to do it now she is just going to pass the torch to your little one you are now your mom
I seen a mom Lisa Ziniti Gerrard say do a research project. Great idea! Not only do abductions, rape, and disappearing happen but accidents happen. My cousin Left his house one night, age 15, was going over to a finds house. He was skateboarding, listening to music, eighteen a drunk driver hit him. She was 21 with 2 kiss herself. She would of never been caught if it wasn’t for her getting into a wreck 3 hours later. 3 hours. My cousin layed in the road dying for 3 hours because she made a horrible decision and didn’t even stop. It’s scary. Punishment such a grounding is a good idea along with no tv ECT. But educating on the consequences is most important.
You could also turn the tables, have one parent “sneak out” and not come back for a determined amount of time and show them how worried you would be…however, depending on their personalities and how you do it, it might be traumatizing. 
Take their phones for a week or two
My opinion, my daughter is 12 almost 13. If she snuck out I would have a long talk with her about how wrong that was and how trust was broken. Then I would take away electronics for 2 weeks (except for school purposes). I would also say since you think you are adult enough to make your own decisions to leave the house, you can take over my responsibilities, you get to do the laundry, dishes, clean the house, cook dinners for the family. Take out the trash, mow the lawn. I would do that for 1 week. At the end of the two weeks without electronics my daughter would not be allowed to go anywhere without a parent there (me or her dad). No sleep over with friends until the trust has been earned back. Trust is not something easily earned back. Id also be monitoring phone calls and text messages for at least a few months.
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I know someone who grounded their daughter for 2 weeks…BUT they got to pick the 14 days, so sometimes their daughter could go somewhere, sometimes not. She missed some big and little things and it made her think!
My son would sneak out the window. I explained he disrespected his privacy and removed his bedroom door (took it right off the hinges) He was all concerned about how he was going to change clothes etc. I told him to change in the bathroom as he didn’t deserve privacy!! He was extremely upset!!!
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Her daughter didn’t sneak out bc they are close. Her daughter snuck out bc children push boundaries and disobey their parents sometimes. A child who disobeys their parent does not, a bad parent, make! I know many a good parent w rebellious children. OP, she crossed the boundary w u. She now needs to repair the broken trust. U must decide what it will take for her to restore that trust. Ignore the judgement from the perfect parent committee. There is no such thing. Anyone who appears to be is role playing.
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First of all, at that age, chores should be a normal part of daily living and not a “punishment”. Second of all, we as parents should never be our kids BFF. You are a parent first. As punishment, I’d ground her from seeing friends for a month, and take away all electronic devices as well for a month.
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Is anyone else confused when a Mother wants to be her daughters BFF… your job is to be a parent not a peer. That’s probably the reason you have no idea what punishment would be appropriate. Take her phone and ground her for a few weeks. DUH
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Welllllll my punishment when I got caught sneaking out was no electronics, no car keys, no friends, no bedroom (snuck out the egress window in my room in the basement lol), no life for a month. During the summer. Oh and a lot of yelling and disappointment in my parents speeches lol. Sure as hell taught me😂
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Parenting changes over time. As they get older the responsibility should increase. As it does the trust amd friendship aspect will grow. When they are out and on their own, self sufficient, you will be more of a friend and less of a parent. Until that time though, you must be a parent first and foremost. I agree with the others who said you need to sit BOTH of the kids down and ask them what they did wrong in their own words. Then ask them what they think is a fair punishment. See what their level of comprehension about the situation is.
Probably start with loss of phone privileges, video games and present them a bill/debt they owe for their error. Make a master list of chores and assign a dollar amount. They can “pay” off their debt. Maybe offer a bonus for good grades or something.
If that doesn’t work…you might ntroduce them to the method we were brought up with…a belt.
All.of this is better than pregnancy, drugs or other issues that arise from delinquent behavior. My parents spanked me, grounded me, gave me extra chores and once sent me to church camp for a night out dri king as a teenager. Be creative. But be form and DO follow through with whatever you decide to do. Otherwise, next time they won’t believe you.
Good luck.
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I guess I’m in the minority, but I don’t believe mom was saying she just wants to be BFF or anything else that is implied by some of these comments. I took her post to say her and her daughter are very close, and she’s never really had to punish her before… in other words, she’s not typically a kid who gets in trouble. Why are moms so quick to judge one another rather than support one another? Loss of electronics, privileges, no hanging with friends for a couple of weeks. Stepson needs the same punishment. I would not remove doors. You could, however, put a small alarm on the door that you would turn on after she went to bed. Very inexpensive at the hardware store.
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Ok. I’m seeing two daughters sneaking out not just one. Both of them need to be made aware of how dangerous that is. Then they need to be shown that bad actions get bad reactions. First to go would be cell phones. No contact with outside sources. Then I would treat them like the three year olds they were acting like. I would have to know where they were at all times and that i was with them. Once that they realized that they had to regain my trust then i would let them begin to slowly regain some of their privileges back. No screaming at them or yelling at them just a matter if a fact. This is the way it’s going to be at my house. When friends came or called i would have to listen in on the phone calls or be in the room with them. Let them know your are doing this because you love them and dont want anything to happen to them.
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The kids made a bad decision. Bad decisions have consequences. Definitely needs to have a conversation about things that could have happened. I did this once and can remember vividly my mom sitting me down and explaining real world things that can happen. The words “one wrong or bad decision can end up having a lifetime of consequences or can even end your life” is something I will never forget.
Maybe educated her. Obviously she felt safe to sneak out, but what if she hadn’t come back? While kids should be kids they should also know why parents have rules and boundaries that’s shouldn’t be pushed or broken. No matter the punishment she should know there is danger in the world. Have your kids learn about abductions in your city/town or near by areas. Whatever punishment you come up with won’t be nearly as eye opening, taking things away that will be given back means nothing. If you do take something away say they’ll get it back when you feel they have earned your trust back, and not “oh you’ll have it back in a week,” that has no bearing on them.
My children didn’t have to sneak out, they just had to walk out the front door. I never had a curfew either, just check in now and then to let me know you’re ok. When they were teens, not when they were younger. My son, who is 35 now, was gone for several days and my husband asked me if I’d seen him and I said " no, he’s probably just with his friend Jeremiah “. I found out years later my son and his friend were in South Carolina! They went to meet a girl, she didn’t like either of them, lol. My daughter wasn’t like that, she’s a homebody she would have rather been at home with my husband and I than sneaking out. One of my friends asked her what time her curfew was, she said " we don’t have one, mom doesn’t care when we get home.” My friend was wide eyed looked at me and said “Really?!” I just shrugged my shoulders and my daughter said " she doesn’t care what time we get home but she sleeps in until 8am and when she’s ready to clean house we better be ready to get up and help". 
anyway, I would take everything out of her room save her mattress a blanket and pillow let her earn everything back.
I had to do this with my daughter. I took all the electronics out of her room. She had a bed and books. She was required to be in her room at all times except for school, meals and bathroom. It was very effective.
I have four kiddos. One boy (17) and three girls (16, 14, and 13). They are not my BFFs. They know first and foremost that I am their mother. I uphold the same punishment my mother gave me for grounding. One it was for eternity (one day for every minute I was out of the house pass curfew) and the second it included the following: no going anywhere unless I was with them or school, no friends over, no phone, no TV, and no events. I have only had to use this once on one of them. The other three saw it. Guess what they don’t do.
I think having her stay home for two weeks will do it (aside from school). She could be innocent of getting into trouble. But when you are where you should not be, trouble can follow you. Time for a good lesson.
Maybe take her to a homeless shelter or crisis pregnancy center to educate her on what risky choices can lead to. Not really a punishment, but an education on poor choices. Not that kids in shelters have made poor choices, but it might make her appreciate that she has a home and a mother that works hard, cares and supports her.
My son snuck out of the house recently - more than once & not because I didn’t know. He was caught the first time by my husband who had a talk with him (regarding sex) and told my son he wouldn’t tell me (he did but I didn’t address it with my son).
Then he was caught by me. I had a talk with him and also told him there would be consequences but it took me some time to decide what they would be.
Anyway, he was grounded for 2 weeks. He was told that if he snuck out again he would loose his phone completely (not even able to use it for school) since he was sneaking out to see his girlfriend (I will allow them to see each other but her mom won’t). He hasn’t snuck out again and talks openly with me about what he wants to do and what I think about his plans.
Some of the punishments suggested by people here also sound like punishments for the parents! Doing bed checks, etc. I don’t want punishments because my daughter did something wrong! Explain to them the possible dangers of sneaking out and give them punishments that don’t include you!
Have her watch the true story of Audrie and Daisy on Netflix. Two young girls snuck out and it went bad in a hurry! Both girls have committed suicide. Audrie not long after she was raped and Daisy very recently. Such a heartbreaker but will leave an impact on her decisions. We have to teach our young women how to protect themselves. Daisy co-founded an organization called SafeBAE that has helped so many. Good luck.
We always asked our daughter what punishment she thought she deserved. She was far harsher on herself than we would have been.
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I took my sons door off his bedroom. Trust is important and if I can’t trust, then your room is an open book. It was a while before he got it back. But eventually he did.
My son who is 15 asked me two weeks ago if he could sneak out with his friends. He said he really wants tontrybit but not to get in trouble. I said fine its a Rite of passage but I need to know when your going and you need to have your phone. I will wait up for you and if anything bad happens you can text me. He is not my friend I am 100% his mom but I respected the honesty lol
My daughter spent the night with her friend to go see her friends boyfriend. They ended up leaving my daughter outside for awhile in the dark and they got caught later and her friend sent my daughter home. My daughter was bawling because she said it was so scary standing outside all alone and I just had a huge talk with her and I was just glad she was home safe. She was too! My kids were never actually bad enough to punish. We were young and dumb too at one point and nobody’s perfect. I was never perfect so I just always talked to my kids about the dangers of what could happen or what could have happened. My daughter is in her 20s now and i have 2 other kids by the way. But if your to hard on them thats when they’re going to rebel.
Think about what she really enjoys and ground her…phone,TV,friends…whatever her favorite thing is…take it away for a few weeks…and a little thought…you said she’s your BFF…mini you…your primary position is parent, not friend…she will probably hate you…for awhile…she’ll get over it. She needs parents…she already has friends.
This is not really a punishment but more for your sanity…get an alarm system and be sure to set it at night when everyone is supposed to be home in bed!!
I’m shocked at how judgey this whole crowd is. What happened to being supportive parents and women? I wouldn’t say my daughter’s are my BFF, but we ARE friends. My girls are 15 and 25 and because we are “friends” they tell me all the things, ask me all the questions and respect my authority. Just like my Mom did with me. I wouldn’t know how to handle this situation as my kids are really good kids. I’d rather have a thoughtful conversation about making good choices than remove doors, violate their privacy by searching through phones, etc. And yes, teenagers deserve privacy. I trust that I have done my job and taught them how to behave. Respect and trust breeds respect and trust. Sometimes saying how disappointed I am in their decisions is enough to make my point as far as punishment. But, we actually talk to our kids and not just sit on our parental throne and dictate.
Explain your disappointment and how hurt you are that she doesn’t honor your trust in her. Then ask your daughter what the punishment should be. It she feels remorseful enough her idea of punishment should fit the crime.
First, talk with her about why she felt she HAD to go. Did they ask to go? Tell her calmly your reasons for her not to go and the fears/possible consequences of them sneaking out. Both children, it was no safer for him than it was for her.
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I would take away all things important to both of them since they both snuck out. Also since they think they are grown enough they should have to split all the chores cooking, cleaning, yard work, wash dishes by hand. Also sit down with them individually and talk to them about the dangers of what could have happened. I would also make both of them be stuck to the parents like glue everywhere you go they go. No activities no friends for a month. Make them earn your trust back. Cell phones would only be allowed to use for phone calls only and in a main room of the house until trust is earned back. Just like when land line phones. If it was my child I would be in the room the entire phone conversation, and expect the phone back after call ended until the trust is earned back. I would also slowly give back thier precious belongings 1 item at a time.
Not to make light of this but I grounded my teenage daughter for life!! After a week I changed my mind!