My husband and I are expecting our first baby. We are just about 11 weeks along, and we couldn’t be more excited! I’m wondering what advice you can give to a first-time mom or what’s something you wish you had known before having your first babe? Any advice will help! Thank you!
Sleep allllllll you can now once the baby is here it’s going to be sleepless nights but so worth it
The sleepers for night should be zipper! The button ones are cute but really annoying to button for a middle of the night diaper change
The one thing I wish someone told me was not to wash all the newborn stuff right away. I had new born 0 to 3 months about 300 worth of stuff that my first never used and my second was the same size.
Every baby is different, So don’t automatically take someone’s word for something.
Sleep when they are sleeping, don’t stress and just relax
One your baby gets attached to something, but multiples
You don’t need all of the fancy stuff. Yes it looks pretty but you don’t end up using half of it. (Changing table, wipe warmer, formula dispenser). Get a bunch of onesies and diapers in different sizes.
All the shit they make you think you need, that you actually don’t. Also, that there’s nothing wrong with formula feeding, bottle feeding, giving your baby a pacifier…I’m so over people shaming you and spreading myths like “nipple confusion”. Some babies like to suck, need to suck, and are not actually hungry. I had two of them. I’ve had 9 kids total and honestly, I don’t have enough time to go through all the things I’ve learned and wished I knew hahaha.
The movie “the business of being born” was very enlightening
See if you can get genetic testing done. No one in my family had any genetic disorders. Apparently I was a Carrier though because it was in my genes and my son was affected…
The undershirts/onesies are made to be able to take off by pulling them down instead of up over the head in case of diaper blowouts.
Some times breas doesnt work out no matter what you do and that’s ok. Also some babies cry alot for no reason.
Lingerie bags work amazing for washing and drying baby socks.
Totally random but I haven’t been able to sleep through the nite without having to wake up and pee at least once after having a kid. He’s now 4!
Buy the basics. I feel like I went overboard with my first baby and didn’t even use half of the things I had.
Getting baby on a routine/schedule as soon as you feel up to it
I wish someone warned me about the recovery. I was NOT prepared.
Stick up for what you want for every step of the process
Speak up when you’re scared or don’t agree or need more information
Don’t be afraid to put your foot down and say NO or that you want something specific NOW
If you want to breastfeed see a lactation specialist and fight for it.
It’s going to hurt. The whole thing before, during and after.
It’s the absolute most rewarding thing you’ve ever done. Hands down the most magical. So beautiful you can’t stop crying.
Always ask for help and listen to opinions but make your own decisions you do not need to follow everything everyone says…
get the basic baby things you hardly use any of those baby things…
do not be too hard on yourself nothing is perfect…
Nurses and people in the hospital will tell you to wake your baby up every hour to feed or change it’s butt. Don’t listen. Your baby will let you know when it’s ready to eat and be changed. Let them sleep.
Don’t buy expensive clothing they just grow out of it way to fast and same with shoes! And always buy next size up. Always bring extra clothes when going somewhere even when there potty trained cuz accents happen!
Sleep when you can. Don’t buy too much stuff. You can never take too many pictures. Keep memories any way you can. You’ll be glad you did 15 years down the road.
When you’re tired and overwhelmed remember you’re doing the most important job in the whole world.
Find a song your little one reacts to in the womb, remember that. Zippers are your best friend. Pre prepping diapers, bottles, etc will save your life. Light up toys are your friend.
Your body will come back. Love the stage you’re in.
Sleep now or never sleep again, share foods when u can not just bc u have to feed them but little things u share with them will make there day, as they get older they get more deifient, once they start crawling they get into everything and everywhere, u will want and need a break and the crying o the crying sometimes it’s good to just let them cry, shower when you can as much as u can not just for cleaning but for a de-streeser and a night time sleep aid, some kids take binkys some don’t, u are the mother no one else…I got tons lol
The baby fat never leaves it just shrinks
You will need more crib sheets than you think. You use them for a long time. If a baby is sick, you might need five in a day. I would have no fewer than 10. Have one decent outfit put back just as a safety precaution. Keep a radio, maybe playing Christian music, going in baby’s room from the moment you come in. You will be able to vacuum under crib and not wake baby if you do.
Having children will bring out the most profoundly held differences between you and your husband. Differences you never knew previously existed.
Master the art of saying, “No.” and “Please help me with ____.”
Soak it all in. Cuddle as much as you can. You can’t spoil them.
Sleep when the baby sleeps! The laundry and cleaning the house can wait!
Burp rags…get flour sack kitchen towels at walmart. Theres like 10 in a pack. Bleachable and have them hanging on all cabinet doors. And cheap if needing replaced.
No one told me that I would never have alone time or relax ever again! Enjoy it now!
Being tired, stressed and wanting to cry is okay!! You’ll be a great mom regardless.
You don’t really need everything brand new. Some things are okay second hand or gently used.
Oh and that saying it takes a village is some what true… Just make sure you have the right ppl that will help you and not discourage you or make you feel bad about asking for help!
Do not be afraid to ask if someone can bring you dinner or help with any type of housework. I wish I had asked for more help especially foodwise
Take advantage of taking a Sitz bath during recovery. It feels great and helps with healing.
Make a mommy cart! This thing has saved my sanity and is so convenient! (Not my photo but mine looks identical!)
I wish I knew that one day they would be teenagers. Teenagers suck!
Your relationship will change…more than you realize…it will bring out things in both of you that you have never ever thought would be part of your personality.
Take the hand downs from friends or family. Babys are expensive and grow so fast they wear an outfit once if your lucky before it’s too small.
If you plan on breastfeeding, toughen yourself nipples up when you shower by using a washcloth and not being terribly gentle on them
If you plan on breastfeeding, know that it is not as easy as some folks make it sound. Some kiddos can’t latch, some nipples are inverted, sometimes it is more emotionally and physically draining than you have been led to believe
If you plan on breastfeeding, also buy formula and bottles to have on hand when it’s been 5 days and you can’t get a latch and you just need to get that baby to eat.
If you have a vaginal delivery: Dermaplast spray is the bomb, take colace or senakot for a couple of days because that first BM post partum is rugged
Get a delicates bag for washing baby socks, mittens and baby hats, it keeps them from getting lost in the washer
On disposable diapers, the make sure the ruffles are flipped out.
If you are wanting a “diaper genie”, price out a “litter genie” for comparison. Same product, usual,ly different prices
Invest in a cool mist humidifier and be well versed in how it works
Post partum depression is real and is NORMAL. Ask for help! It doesn’t last forever and you will love that baby and you will be ok again.
You know your baby best. Not your mom, mother-in-law, grandma or randos on the street. Listen to your heart over an outsiders advice, their experiences are different to yours and your baby is different to theirs.
I know the “you’ll get so much more than you’ll actually need” was said but I want to take it a step further- keep receipts and don’t open/wash/make things until you need them. That way you can return items and get duplicates of things you do want/need/swear by without stress.
Benefiber and stool softener will be a godsend. If you breatfeed, you’re boobs will leak…alot…invest in catch cups or nursing pads.
that breastfed babies are naturally more clingy for comfort, wake up more during the night, and eat more frequently. i don’t regret my decision to breastfeed but there was definitely a lot about it i was unprepared for!
When you give birth have the nurses keep the baby at night instead of waking you up. You’re gonna need your rest to recoup from the birth. You’ll only be in the hospital one to 2 days normally so take all of the help you can get.
Ask. For. Help.
Seriously. You’re not inconveniencing anyone. Everyone loves babies.
Second hand stores are the best places to get baby things, the first 10 years they grow so fast it seems every other week they need bigger clothes, also it’s ok to put babies in clothes a size or to too big. Always have at least one extra shirt for yourself in the diaper bag, spit ups happen. If you breastfeed feminine hygiene pads work great if you run out of beast pads, of you will leak milk a lot.
Even if you think you have enough clothes for baby… GET MORE! good luck mama & congrats!
Pampers diapers and huggies wipes if you go with the disposable option
I wish someone would have told me how useless men are once a baby is born (not all, but most). Do not allow him to put the entire burden on you!
Dont pull all the tags off of your baby gifts, some are redundant, or you’ll get a bunch of smaller infant sizes. If you keep the tags on you can exchanges for the sizes you need
Sometimes you need a break for your sanity oh and toddlers are the spawn of Satan. Enjoy the new born stage. Swings are a life saver
Don’t try to do everything yourself, ask for help when you need it!
The Owlet Sock 2.0! Went weeks without it and wish I had it from the day our Son was born!
You don’t need all the things. Went crazy buying every baby thing for my first and more than half he hated or we never used
bring your own swaddle to the hospital
Take advantage of the hospital before you leave and clear the drawers under the bassinet and any product you need. Pads, mesh undies, squirt bottle (lifesaver). Congrats mama!
In regards to breastfeeding- routines dont work, feed baby when they want it, demand feeding, it will save your sanity. I highly recommend looking into placenta encapsulation- brought my milk supply in over night, gave me so much more energy. I would never consider having a baby without it.
NEVER listen to other people’s birth stories. You’ll have random people come up to you on the street and tell you how there first labor was 36 hours long, pushed for five hours, they ripped from stem to stern, their kids never slept, ect ect ect. Seriously just ignore it. I was terrified when I went into labor with my first. I’m talking panic attack terrified!! Completely uncalled for. Every birth is different. Does it hurt? Hell yes but can you handle it? Absolutely!! If childbirth were really that bad, every one would be a only child.
Take any/all help offered.
If u enjoy sleep, dont get pregnant not bc theyre up all night. But bc u truly never sleep again…bc ur child is on ur mind 100% of the time no matter what.
That onesies are made a certain way so that if the baby has an explosion you can take off the onesie the opposite way and not have to pull it over their head (avoids getting poop on their hair/face) !!! I didn’t realize this til she was like 6 months
Don’t overdo it on the nursery. Just focus on the basics cause in reality you won’t use all those fancy outfits mainly just onesies.
Sleep when they are sleeping, lots of onesies, don’t waste money on any fancy clothing for the first year and a half - they grow too quick, the only splurge item I suggest is a baby brezza bottle maker if you ever use formula - totally worth the money, cosleep as long as you want but once you’re ready to switch them to their own bed and you will be you have to commit to it no matter what, lots of cuddles.
Learn a lil about Epilepsy and seizures. Anyone can have a seizure and it’s good to learn a lil about it. My kiddo had one before she turned a year old. It’s not to stress or scare anyone, it’s just I knew nothing about seizures before that scary night.
Zipper sleepers are your life! Don’t buy lots of Newborn clothes. You don’t need tons of fancy Stuff, a swing bassinet and bounce chair are fine.
Zips … no buttons.
Be kind to yourself.
You wont be yourself for at least 6 months after. Some of us tend to be a lil more crazy than others. Crazy is normal.
It’s a murder scene for weeks after birth. And ALL THE HORMONES. You will think they’re insane during third trimester but the first 8-12 weeks after birth you’re a crazy person.
Also don’t give in to woo. Do research and don’t let mom guilt get to you. Be weary of all the mom groups. I personally like two. One that’s all about safe sleep, backed by AAP and science, and an all inclusive feeding group also backed by medical journals/articles and scientific facts neither allow woo. Mom guilt was a huge contribution to my PPD and those two groups helped tremendously. If you’d like the link, just let me know and I’ll post them.
It’s so fun to buy cute new baby clothes. But I bought way too much 0-3 month clothes my daughter didn’t even get to wear half of them some ever. Buy the basics for each size and buy what you need as you go for the rest. And buy used! Anything you need or want check marketplace first as another mom likely had the same item and no longer needs it. There are so many gadgets and inventions some ridiculous, some not. If it makes your life easier use it. Some of the things I’ve found I love that I thought were ridiculous include a baby bum brush (for diaper cream) it’s easier to put on and doesn’t get stuck under your nails, boogie wipes, nose Frieda, pacifier wipes because my 9 month old loves to throw her binkie on the floor repeatedly in public places🙄. Also cloth diapers and cloth wipes aren’t so bad- we do both part time. Once your baby sleeps longer stretches line the diaper with a maxi pad so they don’t leak. Don’t spend a ton on ,bassinet and sleeping arrangements- they likely won’t sleep there anyways.
You won’t sleep the same ever again, even when they’re older. You’re hyper sensitive to all sounds. Also, breastfeeding is not easy but shouldn’t be skipped.
Learn about Postpartum depression!
Learn a lil about Epilepsy and seizures. Anyone can have a seizure and it’s good to learn a lil about it. My kiddo had one before she turned a year old. It’s not to stress or scare anyone, it’s just I knew nothing about seizures before that scary night. We’ve learned a lot since and honestly it’s just a good thing to be educated on.
That I would never sleep at night again
That twins and triplets run in BOTH sides of the family…
Hold your baby. As much as you can possibly stand and then more. Don’t let anyone tell you not to. They are little for such a short time.
Seriously buy the basics you don’t need 30 outfits in each size, you really don’t. The zip up sleepers are the best and get baby on a schedule it will help in the long run. If you want to formula feed do t let anyone shame you. Fed is the best.
Time goes by fast !take as many pictures as you can🖤
Crying is ok. It does not mean panic. Let them play and be independent. Also…you can never spoil a baby, hold them as much as you want. Early child development classes are free and I highly recommend them. I didn’t do that with my first one and did before my second 2 kiddos and boy what a difference.
I’m a first time mommy for a total of one month. So I’m not well experienced.
But I will say this…
It’s life changing, every aspect of it. The way you think, what you do, how you feel, all of it. It’s crazy how much this makes you grow.
And not every piece of advice is helpful. Some is outdated, some won’t matter for your child, some won’t suit your style of parenting.
Definitely sleepers with a zipper for night. Buttons are freaking terrible when you’re a zombie at 3am.
Sitz baths are life for the first 2 weeks, especially if you rip!
Ugh wishing you all the best girl!
Literally the button up sleepers are your best friend! Because you don’t have to almost completely undress your baby, you can just unbutton the legs.
Also don’t buy a lot of clothes, you’ll go through them way too fast. I’d say pick your favorite outfits because your child will wear those.
Take tons of pictures. Like any chance you get! They grow up really fast. Have your camera ready to go at a moment’s notice because they hit milestones like crazy!
Hold your baby as often as you can because soon they will wanna do things on their own and not want to be held as often.
Post pardom recovery is the worst part of it all! I was miserable.not even the birth is that bad
Learn as much as you can about breastfeeding, how your body makes milk and how much they need ect. Get confident in your ability to do it because it is hard and you’ll need that reminder! Kellymom is a great site with lots of helpful info
Zip up onesies!!! Also go with your gut with your baby don’t over think it and just go with it. Good luck!
That newborn stage is the easiest and it gets harder every stage.
Don’t start to let your baby nap in the swing for too long. If they sleep fine on a non-moving surface the swing should only be used for cat naps or short times of entertainment. My boy is about 11 weeks old and now I’m trying to figure out how to transition him out of the swing for naps! Also, you get way less sleep. People say sleep when the baby sleeps, but personally I need to get stuff done and usually at night after he falls asleep I take time to spend with my husband. If I don’t, I’m crazy, cranky, and we wanna kill each other lol.
Sometimes birth plans don’t go like you want. I went in ready for a vaginal birth and ended up having to have a c-section and I cried. I felt robbed in a kind of way but it’s just what was best for baby. And it was totally ok! I did great with it. No one told me if you have to have a section they’ll come in as shave some of your “downstairs” for you. Umm. I would’ve totally done that myself had I known. And nobody told me about after the baby. I had an amazing CNA that was so kind and sweet. But girl, they going to come in and see it all. Just be ready. Get ready for the big ole mesh panties, gigantic pads that you just have to laugh at. My sister actually liked the depends underwear. Whatever works lol. Good luck!!
That it is definitely ok to wake the sleeping baby up after so many hours.
You will have lots of learning curves and nothing will be perfect and thats ok
Learning that unsolicited parenting advice is and can be annoying but just as valuable
Parent the kid how you see fit not what others want
Always communicate with your partner with exactly what you need … they are not mind readers
Being super hormonal (wayyy more than pregnancy hormones) after birth for the first 6-8 weeks or so is totally normal. No one prepared me for just how much I would cry over nothing those first few weeks lol. Maybe not everyone experiences that part but I do know that a lot of women do, so if you do, just know you will feel back to normal soon.
Day three blues is realllll. But all the zip jumpsuits. Fuck those button ones nothing more annoying than trying to button up a jumpsuit in the middle of the night.
Ooh also: bigger boobs does not mean easier time breastfeeding. I had a hell of a time because it was tough finding comfortable positions. The boppy pillow was not as helpful due to having big boobs either. I would recommend a pillow with back support and that will comfortably fit around you.
I just had my son 3 weeks ago. The one thing I will say is TAKE HELP WHEN IT IS OFFERED TO YOU!! Please. I struggled with saying yes because I felt like I was a bad mom. I felt like I was a burden. But, if you have a family member (who you trust of course) that offers to take baby so you can lay down, do it. They are not kidding when they say you never sleep. My fiance and mom took my son today for 4.5 hours and let me sleep the whole time. It is the longest I have slept since having him. No exaggeration. Don’t try to be superwoman. You don’t have to. Let people help if you feel like they are capable of doing so. Good luck, mama!
Baby swings are awesome, I found having a white nose machine was great during the night, so I could clang and bang around and baby wouldn’t wake up, or get baby used to sleeping in noise, also, get meals to freeze and stock up on water, have water in every room if you’re breastfeeding, and the most important one, ask for help, dont be like me and do it alone, if you’re finding it hard and you are dead exhausted, ask for help, dont suffer alone thinking its your job as a mother, it’s a shared job, and you having a break means you can be more alert and happy for baby!
Tears have degrees just like burns do. If you tear really bad and didn’t get the epidural they will have to give you numbing shots around your vagina to sew you up. It hurts
Enjoy every little moment (they go way to fast) my baby grew fast and she is really advanced… don’t as many pictures as you can bc you will want to look back at them… my baby girl is almost 2 and it seems like she grew up way to fast on me (she was sitting up on her own at 2 months, scooting at 3 months and walking at 7 1/2 months… she now can hold a full conversation with you) cherish them while they are little…