What is the perfect amount of years between children?

How many years between children do you think is the best? I have a four-month-old daughter, and we want to have one more at some point. I’m a planner and like to figure these things out ahead of time. My birth control is set to come out in 3 years, so we were thinking then, but if we do that, our daughter will be about four by the time the baby is born, and I’m wondering if that’s too far apart? What are your experiences/opinions?


I think 2-3 years apart is perfect! :slight_smile: but every family is different and you gotta do what’s best for your family :heart::heart:

We have three (just had my third last week) and there are 2.5 years between the first and second, and 2.5 years between the second and third. It’s been a great age gap! So now we have a 5 year old, 2.5 year old and newborn. Our 5 year old has been a great helper

My daughters are 5 years and 4 months apart and I love it. When I’m absolutely exhausted and the thought of getting up again to grab a binky or whatever makes me want to cry I can ask the older one to get it for me and she LOVES to help and is such a good big sister. I couldn’t have done a newborn and a 2 or 3 year old I’ll tell you that much.


My Son is 7 and daughter is 4 (Due to start school September) And I’m 33weeks pregnant with my 3rd…

My first two are three months shy of three years apart. My oldest was two when I got pregnant. I didn’t like it. I just had my third a week ago and my middle is 4.5 my oldest is 7 I’m enjoying this alot more. They both love him and are so helpful.

In my opinion 2 years apart is better then 4. I speak this as a nanny who has worked with multiple families who have/had kids 4 years apart and being a mom with kids 2 years apart. Kids who have had mom and dad solely for themselves for 4 years have a super hard time transitioning to having to share mom and dad. I also think about the school part, I love my kids are in school together. If you wait 4 years when your older one is going to college your younger one will be doing highschool alone. When my daughter was 2 and we had my son she loved being part of the process and playing mommy. The kids I have worked with were just angry about the baby and it took quite some time for things to settle down.


Honestly depends on the family. Me I’m a little under 2 years apart from my sister and I loved being close with her in age. However my children are 11, 6, and 2 and they all get along fine and it works for them and us as parents. They have the same close bond as I do with my sister but they are more spread out. Honestly I say do what’s best for you

My oldest is 9 my youngest is 8 they are best friends i am so glad they are close enough together to have this close of a bond

I really like my 4 years between, daycare stays cheaper that way :joy:


I personally want a gap because I want to be able to put them through college . I can’t do that with two + kids in college at the same time lol


My 1st and 2nd child are 10 years apart. My 2nd and 3rd child are going to be 14 months apart. (Due next week) Nothing is perfect.

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I think 4-5 years it gives ur new baby the right amount of time to be with you and then help a lil when the new baby comes I have two girls and they are 7 and 11 I think that’s perfect but each family is different

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Two years (21 months) for us. They are best friends!

I have 4 kids. There’s 3years between my oldest 2. There’s 7years between oldest and middle. And then there’s 2years between middle and youngest (4week old).

I think it’s just about when you think you’re mentally prepared for it🤷


Mine were 1 year apart, so 4 sounds good to me

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My daughter will be 3 in November, and I’m due with my son end of July.
I got pregnant right before she turned 2.
I think 2-3 yrs is a nice gap. She’s potty trained and talks and sleeps well, should be a nice helper.
My brother and I are 2.5 yrs apart, we had friends with siblings in the same classes as us and it was easy to share things and get along. I think anything past 3-4 yrs is a bit iffy personally.
We only wanted 2 kids, so the age gap was important for us, and we had no fertility issues.
And 2 under 2 is no fun!
But to each’s own!

Have the second one before the first one stops taking naps. My oldest was 3.5 when my youngest was born and had stopped napping regularly. I was so tired. :joy:


20 months apart and it’s been awesome.

I have a 3 week old and a 5 year old and she is so helpful


Our kids are 12,13,14,15,16 :woman_shrugging:t2:


My girls are 6 years apart and they fight all the time :upside_down_face:

My siblings and I are really spread out and my mom always says that she wishes she would have had us closer together. I have 10 months between my oldest and our twins. Wouldn’t have it any other way

I have three kids. My oldest was five when my second was
Born. When I had my Third my oldest was 15 my middle boy was ten.

I would have preferred all my kids closer together but there is a 5 year gap between the first 2. That’s just how things work out sometimes.

My oldest was 8 when I had another child. (Way too far apart) I then I had my babies back to back so they’re 15 months apart and it’s the best decision we ever made! They have a close bond.

My oldest will be 6 next month & my youngest just turned 1 in April. The beginning was rough, such different schedules since my oldest was in preschool & then kindergarten. The baby was always sleeping when it was time to take her or pick her up so that was rough. But my oldest can be very helpful & I love that! Plus, she can do most things for herself so it was helpful not having to do everything for 2 kids at once

Personally. I have a 6 year old, 2 1/2 year old, and an almost 12 month old… my 2 yr old and my 12 mo old get along so much better then my 6 yr old and 2 year old do. My 2 yr old is momma hen to the youngest .

My daughter will be 12 soon, son is 5 n I’m about 6/7 weeks. Thats just my choice tho

My oldest will be 9 in September and I’m due in October with my second. The oldest is super excited to have a little sister.

My sister and I are about 3 years apart. Growing up in the teenage years we fought all the time. So consider that. Maybe if we were closer in age we wouldn’t have? I’m not sure. But around when I turned 18 and since then we have barely fought. Just bickered

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my first is a year and i’m pregnant with our second, due december so theyll be 19 months apart

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3 yrs was my best stretch. Oldest potty trained and out of the infant stage. 5 is a little much but my goal was not having 2 in diapers that sucks lol

Our first and second are 5 years apart, second and third are 2 years apart and third and baby due in December will be almost 3 years apart. They are 9,4,and 2. Having the two middle ones close helped a lot I found.

I have four kids 9,3,1 and 4 months. My oldest two fight constantly.

I have an 8 year old step daughter and my daughter just turned two, it can be very very hard with the age difference. It has it’s ups and downs with the age gap. Maybe even harder because they only see each other 6x a month. I’m not sure but she has been an only child until the age of 6 so maybe the transition was hard. I am pregnant with my second daughter and my first daughter will be 2.5 when we have our next. I think it’ll be the perfect age gap!!
My brother and I are 3.5 years apart and it was a little difficult, we didn’t like each other when I was super young but once I got into high school he became my best friend. I’m 27 and he’s 30, we get along great.

3-4 years that way one is potty trained before the next is born and at that age they’re more excited about having a sibling. Younger they’ll still need a lot of one on one time. Older they’re use to it just being them and tend to get angry but it.

I have a 7 year old and 2 year old and it was awful. My eldest had 5 years being an only child and it was beautiful. She loves her sister but she didn’t take to sisterhood well. Jealousy, anger, acting out. The change was huge for her. I’m pregnant with baby number 3 so my youngest will still be 2 when baby is born. Hoping the smaller age gap will be easier for my youngest and she’s already used to having another sibling x

My daughter is 4 and I have a 4month old. I wish they were a year closer but I’m happy that way I didn’t have two in diapers.

I have a 7yr old and 6mo old and currently 21wks preg

My sons are 2 years and 2 months apart and my middle son and my daughter are 19 months apart. For me if I had them 4 years apart that would have been easier but I like the age gaps for them. They fight all the time but they are close :yellow_heart:

I am one of 6 children. And honestly i have something in common with each of them, I have
23 almost 24 year old older brother
I am 22
My little brother who is 19
My little sister who is 17 almost 18
My baby sister who is 15
And my baby brother who is 13.
My baby brother and I are 9 years apart. And we still have things in common. He has 1 nephew he adores with everything in him and another on the way. He and I can play video games, talk, my sisters and I have a bit of a gap as well and we aren’t the same at all :joy: but still get along perfectly fine. I’m actually the closest with my almost 18 year old sister and almost 24 year old brother. (Yes we did all fight like cats and dogs. Haha) so not a big gap at all.
I’m pregnant with my second son, and my first is almost 2, his baby brother is due right after his second birthday. So close to just under or over 2 years apart. And i think that’s good :relaxed: planned to wait til my first son was 3 but birth control failed me :joy:

My older 2 are 13 months n 2 days apart then my last bby is 4 yrs apart from the middle child my older ones sometimes get along when it comes to the younger one they both want his attention

I have a almost 5 year old, an almost 3 year old, and I’m due in September with my third.
If I have anymore I wanna wait another two years

Mine are 5,4, and 8 months. My oldest will be 6 in 2 months. My older two are 22 months apart and now that they are older they keep each other busy a lot! I’ve loved having them so close in age! We thought we were done but then decided our family wasn’t whole which is where our 8 month old came into the picture otherwise I might not of waited so long between my second and third child lol

:heart: my boys are 11, 7, and 3 months. I like the longer gaps personally, because I get more 1:1 time with them while they’re little. My grandmother had 5 kids, each 4 years apart and thought it was perfect because they only had to pay one college tuition at a time! :joy:

Honestly, there is no perfect numbers of years between kids. Or rather there’s no one magic number I think.

Your going to get 100+ different answers, and 100+ reasons why.
You’ll have to talk to your other hafe and figure that one out between the two of you.

My kids are 15, 14, 11, 6, 2, and im due december 21st. I prefer my kids farther apart. Having my oldest 2 16 months apart was hard.

I have 3 yr old twin girls and a 1 yr old son. It wasnt planned that way and I dont necessarily recommend it. I personally wish I would have waited until my twins were at least 4 or 5. But Honestly you know your family best. And need to stick to what you feel you can do. Close in age isnt bad at all but time between isnt bad either. All depends on the family dynamic. :slight_smile:

I have a four year old and just gave birth to a little boy. My four year old is the BEST big sister and I think it has a lot to do with her age. I’m very happy to have waited until now!

There is no such thing as perfect everything for a reason my first 3 are born within 25months of each other the first and second are 14months apart they were so close as babies and first born are faster at most things so I really liked that age spacing but the I had another just recently and the girls were 7,8&9 and that is amazing too they’re so loving and involved and helpful with baby. And there was no big deal having more than one in diapers at one point I had 3 in diapers

My oldest is 8 and my youngest is 9mos! There is no perfect timing. This works for us and he loves being a big brother there is definitely less jealousy with the age gap

I have a 4 year old and a 9 month old and the gap is great, because babies take so much time away it seems the 4 year old can be entertained doing things while I take care of baby, then when baby is all good play with the 4 year old and he understands why to an extent :heart:

I have a 2 1/2 Year old and I’m due with our second in 3 weeks, shes SO excited and talks about her sister ALL. THE. TIME. Ik things may change when she’s born, but I always wanted kids about 2 years apart.
My mom had my older brother 7 years before me, then me, another brother, and ANOTHER brother, all 17 months apart, then my youngest brother 7 years after that. Me and my 2 closest brothers are pretty close (they are best friends) but we aren’t too close to our older or younger brothers because of the age gap

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3 years… my girls are 3 years apart and they adore each other… I have 3 sisters and I’m closest to the one that is 3 years and 6 days younger than myself. Also it helped only having 1 in diapers.

I had 5 and they are all between 2&3 years apart. Was done with diapers, pacifiers and terrible twos. I loved it!

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4yo and 5m. It’s stressful at times because the older one is everywhere and a troublemaker but he’s old enough to realize babies are fragile so I can actually leave them alone in a room so I can pee and not have to worry about him killing his little brother lol

My kids are all 4.5 years apart and they adjusted well to the next child, were old enough to ‘help’ and they ‘need’ less so you can focus on baby a little easier.

For me itd be sooner than later, because youll buy diapers forever if you wait too long… two in diapers for 4(ish) years is easier than having one in diapers for 6 years

My daughter and son are 20 months apart and my son and baby 3 will be around 17 months apart and I love the distance because they are growing up together “. Can it be hectic? Yes. Stressful? On occasion. Worth it? :100:

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There is no perfect ages apart… Thats all up to you and so on when you both are ready for another… It could be 9m apart could be 12yrs… I mean i have a 10yr(09), 9yr(11), 1yr (19) …

I had my oldest boys exactly 2 years apart, it was hard but didn’t seem so at the time. We waited four years to try for a girl and she was so much easier. Now four years after her birth we just had suprise baby number 4 last month, the pregnancy was the hardest since it was my only unplanned one and was very complicated. The four year age gap is wonderful with help of the older siblings, only bad thing was starting all over with all the baby gear. My newest edition has been the easiest best baby ever, and all his siblings love him to death.

My first two were two and a half years apart. It worked well.

We have 3 kids and they’re each 4 years apart from each other it’s kind of nice. They adjusted really well and my daughter is already saying she wants a baby sister even though her brother is only 4 months old lol

My girls are 7 years apart, and I thought that was great!

My son and daughter are almost exactly 2 years apart. It gets hard sometimes but seeing them play and grow is worth it. I’m due in December with my third and they’ll be 1.5 years apart and I’m very excited for that :heart:

I’ve always wanted my kids very close together, but a lot of people like the bigger gap so there is less stress in the beginning.
It’s all based on preference.

No one but you and your husband can decide what’s best for your family. :heart:

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My oldest is 16 and my youngest 8 months :woman_shrugging:


Mine are 14, 9, 3 and 22 months. It doesn’t matter how spaced out or how close they are in age they all fight.

By the time my third was born my oldest was 3, where has my brother has 8 years between 1 and 2nd and 6 years between 2nd and 3rd. It just all depends on what is right for your family. If you want to wait to try when your BC comes out in 3 years then there is nothing wrong with that.

Our twins were 4 years old in May and their brother is due in August.

My kids are fairly close in age - 10, 8, 5 and 1.5. Only thing that really stinks when they are that close in age is child care if you are paying for it. I had 3 in day care at once and that was more than my mortgage.

I have a 9, 7, 4, 3 yr old. And they all play well together…half the time lol. The other half they are all fighting . But seems to work well .:woman_shrugging:

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Ours are 3.5 and 1.5 and were planning to try for a third in about 6 months or so.

My children are exactly 2 years apart. It has been perfect. My pregnancies were extremely difficult, so it was nice to be able to take a nap with the 1st one daily to recharge. They are best friends and into the same things, so it works really well. My sisters 2 oldest children are a little over 5 yrs apart. It was good when they were little (older one wanted to help out, only 1 in daycare, etc), but now that they are 11 and 5, not so much. They have nothing in common, are in different stages of life, fight like crazy because the younger one constantly wants to be as big as the older one. Every person’s experience will be different. You will know what’s best for your life. Good luck Momma.

All my boys are 3 years apart. Except for my last two. My youngest is going to be a year old in july ans im due in september

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There is 10 & 1/2 years between my 1st & 2nd… 3 & 1/2 years between my 2nd & 3rd… & 20 months between my 3rd & 4th…currently they are… 16, 6 (this month), 2 & 1/2 & 10 months… :blue_heart::heart::blue_heart::heart:

My sons are 6.5 years apart. My son will be 7 in October and my other turned 3 months yesterday.

Every family is different. My son is almost 12, and my daughter is 2 1/2. To me its perfect and they love each other unconditionally.

There isn’t. My first & second are 11 yrs apart. My second & third are 1.5 yrs apart. Both are perfect age differences. My oldest got to be an only child which molded him into a self reliant, strong individual. My other 2 always have a best friend to play & grow with. They also have a BIG brother to always protect them, play with them & guide them in ways that a parent can’t.

I have 3 kids and one on the way oldest and middle are 10 months apart then follows my son who is about 5years apart and my soon to be newborn 4 years from my son

I have 4 kids. Ages are 4 months, 2yrs, 3yrs and 4yrs.
My first and second are 12 months 3 weeks apart, my second and third are 14months apart and my third and fourth are 2 years apart.
I’m not going to lie, it is alot of work. But its very rewarding too.
If i can recommend the ‘perfect’ age gap, I’d say 3-4 years in between each.
Although everyone and every situation is different. Goodluck :two_hearts:

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My daughter is turning 3 (completely potty trained) and I’m currently pregnant

My oldest 2 are 19 months apart. Little one is 3 years younger that my middle one. Couldn’t pay me to start over 3 years apart. To me the 19 month gap was easier

I think 4 years is nice

My first two are ten years apart! My youngest is 4 and I’m having a baby in August. I think four years is perfect. You have time to potty train and will only have one in diapers. Your four year old could possibly be in preschool saving you money on daycare. I feel like 2 years or less is too close together. It’s really what you prefer but having them so close will be a lot harder on you.

My boys are 5 years apart and I loved it. It was so much easier caring for an infant with one in school and independent enough to that I’m not up 24/7 with babies, exhausted and stressed.Now they are 12 and 17 and it’s even better. They are buds, my oldest is so kind with his younger brother, who looks up to him. But it all up to the individual, some parents like having them close together and find that’s easier.

My kids are 20 months apart! It’s really not that bad. The older brother loves to help and play with his younger brother. They are now 2 and almost 5 months

I have a 3 year old, a 10month old an im 8weeks pregnant

My kids are 3 and 4 years apart and I love it. The baby gets to be the baby for awhile and I get them potty trained and pretty independent before the next baby. Makes my life alot easier when. Its only 1 baby

All 4 of my daughters are 3 years apart. It just depends on the family. My oldest and youngest get along and my two middle kids get along

My kids are almost to the day 3 years apart and I love it. My son is old enough to be excited for his sissy.

My first two are 11 months apart. I am now pregnant with my third and my other two will be 16 and 17 years old this year…:thinking::wink: Not sure if there is a recommended age gap for children. My two older ones are so excited for baby

I had my first and second 7 years apart and my second and third were 1 year 7days apart… I liked the large gap but then again my other kids are so close in age and friends… So it really depends on you and how hard you want to “work”… it’s hard either way!!

Depends on family and personal preference. My 2 boys are 14mo apart. I figured get the diaper part over quicker, lol. They get along some but also fight like crazy over toys. Every child is different. I say go with what works for you guys. There isn’t a wrong or right answer

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I have an almost 10 year old and a 18 month old. My 10 year old is absolutely amazing with her. I think as she gets older she may become annoyed with her little sister. Right now she is over protective and they are like the best of friends … my mom had twins when I was 16, they were practically my babies! I wouldn’t worry about if they are too old or too young. Just do what works for you, your body and your family.

I personally love our 4 year age gap! So much that we did it twice! My kiddos are 11, 7 and just turned 4. Just under a 4 year spread. Whenever a new baby came home, the next oldest was just starting school. Gave me time to focus on the baby without the older feeling left out. And a 4 year old can be super helpful. Still young enough to want to play together, but old enough to understand the limitations of the young one. They all play great together. By 4 the older was always done with potty training so never had 2 kids in diapers. And the younger learns so quickly from the older kids. My oldest hit all his milestones right on time, while the younger 2 kids were months ahead for everything! Both walking by 9 months old trying to keep up! They both talked well ahead of the normal.

My kids are 12, 9, 5, 2, and 9 months. 3 year gap I thought was perfect.

I had my first two a year and half apart. But between my second and 3rd there’s 3 years

I did 9 years. Amazing gap for sure