Almost three months ago now, I separated from my narcissistic abuser. We share a son together whom he wants nothing to do with. He doesn’t want to be a “part-time father.” At this point, given his nature, it is probably for the best. However, with his departure, he has also taken several of my possessions. Gifts he has given along with two of my vehicles sum up to about $10,000. These vehicles are paid for by me and are legally mine. I’ve spoken with the police, and they say my only option is to sue. At this point, the things he has said and done have been so traumatizing to me and my family I’m not sure I want to go through court dealings and whatever else he might put me through. I have a PPO already; police say it’s a civil matter and won’t even allow me to report it stolen. What options do I have?
I’d talk to a lawyer…
If these vehicles are in your name only (title) you could file them as stolen
If your ex is refusing to give you back YOUR property, at this point, it is theft. Get a lawyer ASAP. This is why they need to defund the police. They’re useless
Get a lawyer. They know the ins and outs and have dealt with similar situations. It pays to have someone in your corner looking out for you
Let it go .you don’t need it don’t poke the bear it is not worth it. You got the best part your son.
Let him know to hand over your things or you have no option to do the legal stuff
Title in your name? Sis go pick up that car or pay a repo man - smh
Some states are common law, and from what I’ve understood, if you’re married you share all possessions legally, just like debt. I could be wrong as I’m going off of what I’ve been told, but if thats true, that’s probably why they won’t let you report it stolen
Do you still have a copy of the keys to YOUR car? If so, I would call the non-emergency police line and request that an officer accompany you to retrieve your car. Also, it’d be best to file a restraining order if he knows where you’ve moved to.
It depends if you were married or not. You just said ex so not sure. If married even though in your name it is community property and then you would have to go to court and sue. If not married then he stole them.
If the title is in your name, you absolutely can file it as stolen, talk to different police. I’d also have them repoed and brought to your property and file charges on him for harassment and get a protection from abus
Your only option is to sue. It is a civil suit. If y’all were married, you’re screwed basically because it’s technically his property too.
Can’t the police go with you to get your belongings?
File a police report and pea also put sums in case he sold the stuff
Im guessing you paid but its all in his name. You will have to sue him. Provide bank statements and proof you paid. Any texts between you that prove you paid. Gather as much documentation you have before you go to court, but if you let this fool put his name on the title, suing him is your only option.
File them as stolen, talk to legal aid
Go to insurance get transfer papers and your info from them. Sell them to a friend for 1$ and have them repeat them stolen
Pull up with the crew!
You can ask to have a police officer escort you to get your stuff. A friend of mine did this.
On the vehicle report them stolen and then have him arrested for stolen property.
If it’s in ur name only go get it back. Just take it. If it’s in both names u both can “steal” it back n forth. If it’s in his name only let it b cuz ur screwed. If u can prove u paid 4 half u can go 2 small claims court(local magistrate here) n file but u will need proof u paid on it. Also here they charge u 2 file the claim. Don’t b intimidated by him. Get what ur entitled 2. Sometimes it’s just better 2 cut ur losses. That’s something only u can decide
I went through the same thing. Was told to take him to civil court and even then, you can only get it back “if he says he has the items”. I have yet to get my personal belongings over a year later. Good luck 
Get a police escort and retrieve your belongs without confrontation!
If the items are in your name you can go retrieve them or pay someone to do it for you , if they are not but have proof you paid collect as much evidence as you can before taking it to the courts, of possible you can pay for an attorney and you may not even have to show up to the court but that’s under the counsel of your legal counsel
My ex-husband tried to pull the same crap with my car it was in my name he tried to hide it and told the people watching it if I take it to call the police well I had an extra key so I took it and the people called the police. I had 3 cops pull me over. Had to stick my hands out the window and everything. Once I finally got to talk to them I showed them the car was in my name and belonged to me. My dad was with me and unfortunately his drivers license were expired so he couldn’t drive my car home. So I got a police escort to hide my car until I could find someone to give me a ride back out to pick it up. My ex-husband had to buy the car from me inorder to get it back.
What about hiring a private repo company show them proof of ownership
Is it in both of your names? I’d definitely get a lawyer take him to court.
If the vehicles are in your name, report them as stolen. That is not a civil matter. If he stole 2 vehicles from a dealerships, totaling the same amount, they wouldn’t tell the dealership “is a civil matter, sue him” no, they would put a bolo out on the cars/plates, and arrest him for it when found.
If the cars are in your name and you pay for it your well within your rights to report them as stolen and the police have a legal obligation to follow it up especially if you have the proof I’d contact them again and say if they don’t take your report of theft seriously you will have no choice but to report them to the ippc
If things continue report the officer in charge for not following there oath take the ex for court sue for not only the cars or the price of them but for harm and distress plus if you work the wage you would lose
None…especially if his name is on them too. Sounds like material stuff to me and you’re tripping over revenge. You got out alive and nothing materialistic is worth jeopardizing your life and safety or your child’s. Cut your losses and move on. Karma takes care of revenge for you.
If the vehicle/ vehicles are in your name ( and i am not talking about the insurance is in your name) & you have the title in your name. He stole them. But if they are in his name & he has the title/titles in his name. You will have to take him to court
Not even worth the going after, especially is your don’t want to even see him. Let it go & be glad you’ll never have to deal with him again.
If vehicles are in your name only, report them stolen
Let it go. I was married to a narcissist. Just let it go and move on, it’s not worth it or the trauma that goes with it.
From my experience it is better to just cut ties and be done with a person like that. No contact is the best. If the vehicles are a big deal then you should be able to report them stolen and see what comes of that. If that isn’t possible then I would honestly just take the loss because you and your sons life will be better without that mess. Use that energy to rebuild and start over with new, not tainted things. 
report cars stolen if they are in your name
You can get your cars towed or report as stolen. Be prepared to cut some losses. It’s worth it to get out of a toxic relationship tho.
I have a lot of experience with the car situation, unfortunately. Please message me if you’d like more info on how to get them back!
Were you married? If yes then it depends on state you live in. If you live in a community property state, even if vehicles are in your name only he has a claim to part of their value. If you don’t live in a community property state then it is up to what the judge orders as to who gets what. Sometimes even if you own stuff and have proof of ownership the judge will give it to him anyway. I went through this a couple years ago. I left a violent situation leaving my stuff behind. My ex had possession of my stuff and I patiently waited for court to order him to give it to me. Surprise was on me when court said he could keep everything in his possession including my stuff. Even my heirloom jewelry from my grandmother. If you are not married and vehicles are in only your name he can’t keep them - he is stealing them. Also, anything else you own if you are not married, the person with possession can keep it unless you can show purchase receipts unfortunately.
You can absolutely report the cars stolen, as long as his name is not on them and he’s not listed as a driver on your insurance. Hopefully you got the officers name, because that info is incorrect. As far as any other belongings, where you have an order against him that means you can’t go to his residence. You can try and request that an officer go speak to him, and try to get your belongings for you or even see if a family member can go with a police escort. Usually the station will send someone in a case like this.
Get repo people to go and collect for u
Cancel the insurance, and report to your insurance company !
If the vehicles are in just your name you can contact a repossession company near you and they can got get them for you.
Maria this sounds so familiar
Get him for auto theft!
If you are the sole owner on the title, then go have them towed.
If in her name did he not steal them
Report the cars stolen…and let the rest go
I dont know about you but I’m always looking for places to release all the yellowjackets I catch in my bee traps, your ex-vehicles sound like the perfect place
If you are the sole owner of the vehicles, report them stolen.
Tow them or go get a key made and take the cars back if it’s just in your name. Change the ignition once you get it. Or charge it to a lesson learned, that’s what I did. You can’t report it stolen because it is a civil matter and you can get in trouble, because technically it’s not stolen, you know who has it and the person who does you had a sexual relationship with. Best thing I ever did was walk away and start over bigger and better. The cars are just a control thing, let it go and stunt on him with bigger and better EVERYTHING
You gotta go to court sue or ask a judge to grant an order for your belongings including the vehicles. Also if there was a ppo in place you had time to go with officers to go get your stuff too cause I know for a fact you’re allowed to cause I got a criminal restraining order against my ex for domestic violence and an officer has to be present the whole time while you gather your stuff even if it’s on multiple days.
All you can do is go to court, you can request that he is not in the same room, or you can request to appear by phone because of the traumatic abuse.
If in your name only, you could report them stolen. If not, you’ll have to take it to civil court as he said.
Also the vehicles all you gotta do is hire someone for repression of the two vehicles since they’re legally in your name unless he’s a co owner than that’s another mess you have to deal with. If you didn’t put his names under any of the vehicles as a co owner do as I said above but if you did a co owner it doesn’t matter how much u paid cause u decided to put his name on the vehicle co owner sorry unless a judge grants you an order to get possession of the vehicle or orders him to pay for x amount for one of the vehicles you may have to take your name off on one of the vehicles. Also if a judge orders him to pay doesn’t mean he’s going to pay up and your second step is filing paperwork with the courts to reclaim that money which is getting a court order n them serving him with it and garnishing it from his paycheck unless he’s not working then that’s gonna b a headache right there in itself.
Shit on his mamma’s porch. 
Cut your losses, write a ridiculous amount for the sale price on those titles and send them his way.
Take him to court I can bet the judge will give it back to you everything he took that wasn’t his he sounds like a big dumbass I would not let him get by with taking stuff that don’t belong to him I would sue him and get it back cuz when the judge orders it you can go and get it which I know someone said to get a repo people I don’t know how that would work if the cops would have agreed to that or not I don’t know what the laws would be whatever it would be for her or against her but it does sound like a good idea good luck
If you are the only owner on the title I’m not sure why the police wont help you! Call a tow truck, as the owner you should have no problem getting them towed. Maybe when hes not there, at work etc, if they are outside. Do you have a key? If they are outside go there at night or when hes not there and drive them away. The other things I would let go. Vehicles, I would try to get back.
Take the insurance off them. And if they are in your name you can report stolen. If he is no where on the papers.
Are you a member of the Facebook group One Mom’s Battle? You might inbox your question to them to post anonymously. You will get feedback from others who are dealing with narcissistic exes.
If the vehicles are in your name report them stolen.
Still have the keys? Only in your name? Go get them.
If the car is registered to you… report it stolen.
If the cars are in your name than the police have no choice they have to take a stolen car report because if anything happens like a car accident they are going to come after you …as for your other stuff you are either going to forget about it or go to court .
Go in ur house and take it ur.not breaking in when it’s all ur belongings wait til he’s put of the house and get in there
I’m quite petty so I’d get them towed if it’s in my name and the cops won’t report it stolen. It’s kind of weird that they didn’t though. I’d go to a lawyer the consultations are usually free. See if the police will give you an escort to go pick up your belongings due to the PPO and emphasize that you’re afraid. If you still can’t then I agree that you should go to court cuz if I was you homeboys either going to pay me for it or bring it on back. Unless it was something really important to you I’d let the gifts go & just fight for the stuff that you paid for yourself. He doesn’t deserve any free shit for being a dickhead.
If your name is the only name on the title, you can report them stolen
You can have them towed back to you!
If you still have a key to either vehicle go get them. Take the title to the police station with only your name on it and inform them you are taking your vehicles. DO NOT BUDGE. The police CANNOT stop you from taking them. If you do not then report them stolen. If they won’t file the report go up the chain. That is BS. Contact the AG if you have to. Go to the local women’s shelter, they sometimes have a police officer there that will actually help you
Have you tried getting your cars back??? Like going there with family and saying I need the cars to be able to work and support myself and our child???
Ummm get an attorney.
Clearly the vehicles are in his name if the cops can’t do anything about it and if that’s the case you probably won’t get them back
You must have given him permission in the past or at one point voluntarily given him the keys… that’s why the cops cannot legally charge him… you will win your civil case against him tho
If it’s really under your name and you can’t report it stolen because you let him drive it, then call a locksmith and take it back. You should then put it under your families name and keep it at their home and just tell him you sold them. Until the waters clear so you can keep your cars. If he ever tries taking it again they can call the cops & your name isn’t even involved 
Is your name only on the bill of sale if your are report them stolen
If you have any cloths in the house you were living in then your allowed to go in but if you took all your stuff out means you left the place witch mean your breaking into the place.
Got a second set of keys go get em take your friend for the second one…
Report it stolen.
Do you fully own them or are you guys a join buyer on the title??
Girl YOUR NAME… GO GET UR CARS TOWED. ITS STOLEN.
If you go to Dept of Transport with the rego papers in your name they can report the number plates as stolen.
That’s so wrong on the police side of things. In my understanding they should be able to escort you there to collect all the things that are legally yours. Especially since there is a protective order.
You have to get a recovery order or take him to court. Gifts to you he can keep everything you say is yours you need a receipt saying you brought it
I’m assuming although she may have paid for them they must not be in her name of the cops can’t do anything.
Is your name on the titles to the vehicles? If so, the vehicles are stolen and the police should be obtaining and returning them to you.
The rest of the stuff… unfortunately, I would chalk it up as a loss. I went through a horrific breakup with a narcissist, he emptied my entire house when I was at work. (Even WITH the Sheriff with him! He was moving out while I was away from home due to a Restraining Order)
Start over. It’s hard. But, in the end… you’ll be grateful you did. And going through more abuse to get material items back is 100% not worth it. Good luck
I don’t know what state you are in but I agree with Nikki Schmelzer if his name is not on the title it is stolen. If you have keys to them watch when he isn’t around and go drive it away. The gifts oh well…protect your son.
Please go chat to dv connect they will be able go help u and give u advice they have free legal advice too
If you have proof the car’s are yours…have them repossessed. It would be worth it.
In some states if he legally lived with you and says he paid more than half of the expenses for cars or whatever, you’ll have to go to court to prove otherwise. But honestly after the things I’ve been through, your sanity and safety are more important than any possession. You can replace your things! I’d definitely talk to a lawyer, but if your health is taking a turn, call it a loss and move on and start over. If you were married, it is even harder to fight for things even if your name is on it. It sucks but save yourself and your kid… The rest is just stuff.
Just walk away put it down to experience, you’re well rid of him.
Either your done with him or your not. When the sheriff walked behind my ex, he had to show me what he was taking and needed my approval. I told the sheriff, let’s save a lot of time. He can take whatever he wants, right now, and never come back.
Dont walk away…RUN!! The health, safety and mental health of you and your son are far more important that going through anything further with a narcissist. I have been seperated from mine 6 years and still having to deal woth him cause he constantly takes me to court. There is no winning or compromise with a narc!!
If his name it not on that title, report it as stolen.
Go to Judge Judy, she’ll sort him out
If the vehicles are registered to you and not him then you can report stolen or go after them in court. If they are in his name I’d walk away for your sanity and safety.
Sneak in get the cars there in your name if u have stuff there technically u live there
If the title is in your name and not his, have them towed. I dealt with this with my ex and the cops told me the same thing then they said I can pay a tow company to tow the vehicle from his property.
Cut your losses on the “gifts” but if it’s just your name and not his on the titles to the vehicles then you have a good chance of getting them back if his name is on them also that could mean a lot of red tap and in that case I’d just got get another vehicle.
I had gone through similar situation. But being so drained from the ongoing relationship with such person I planned my escape with knowledge I would be walking away in the middle of the night with only my PJs and slippers on my feet and never looking back . I made this my choice to steal the power from him to hold any more power and control over me and I simply had barely enough energy to focus on trying to rebuild from nothing , all alone bad being mother to my child not to mention one hell of a custody battle up against an angry ex who lacks any other means to control or hurt me than to try and take my kid from me .
If cars are in your name go get um