I think your over thinking it a bit.
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My husband always rough houses that’s how kids are. As far as the cards sounds like any parent to me when their kids don’t listen lol
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My husband will tickle our daughter and she starts telling him to stop and if he doesn’t listen, I get angry. Big mad. Like she said stop.
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He made her sit down on the couch that’s not abuse and my 2 girls rough house with their dad all the time but it’s not abuse because hes not trying to hurt them they are playing
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Wow. No. This is not abuse.
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It’s not abuse especially if they keep coming back and wanting to play like that if they were laying there crying after he did something that would be different. then that would be abuse
I’ve never let rough housing go on , someone always gets hurt
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Sounds like a lot of bullying on many levels going on in your home. Sounds like everyone needs some help.
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My husband always rough houses with our 4 and 5 yo girls (me and him even play like that too sometimes) that’s just how they play 
if they’re not crying or seem to be in distress it’s fine
Create some boundaries immediately for everyone; otherwise this is only going to escalate further like a runaway freight train. Kids and adults need boundaries and limits.
He seems more patient than some parents I know. My dad once broke my nose because he started roughhousing, I got mad and didn’t pull my punch, and he swung back. My parents were never physically abusive (I remember getting spanked once and never again) but that was his knee jerk reaction. The fact that your SO did those things and the kid still went back for more, she doesn’t seem to be afraid just completely uncaring of his boundary.
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I’m a mother of 3 girls and I understand as a mama we tend to always jump at the worst case scenario
I in particular am so horrible cause I over think way out the box
But I think this is all just fun and games , if they were crying in a agony like cry or fear like cry I would be concerned but if they are running away and coming back it’s just rough play
The push was probably a bit more harsh then usually but we all get frustrated at times and we either say or so something we don’t mean , if it were a more aggressive push where she/he cried in pain it’d be different
I get what you are saying but seriously I think it’s ok
Stop it he is just playing with the kids. You’re being absolutely ridiculous.
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Wow… If this is how your thinking about this situation I feel bad for the Dad he’s in danger being with someone like you.
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I think a lesson in consent is in order here. In our home, our boys love to rough house. But everyone has to be having fun in order for it to continue. We really stress that the second someone seems like they are no longer enjoying the play, or says “stop” or any other form of asking for them to quit, that the play stops immediately. This works both ways even when my husband is wrestling around with them. Anyone can say stop at any point and the play stops. Consent is huge and important to learn from a young age.
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You’re reaching. Stop it.
Sounds like the shoving into the couch was done in anger…definitely a red flag. As far as the roughhousing goes…we do that in our house (5 boys and 2 girls)
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It’s called rough housing.
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As I’m reading this my 6 year old son and his dad are rough housing. My son is rough and his dad keeps it going that I have to tell them both to knock it off lol my SO is another one of the kids. It’s normal. I used to be the same way with my dad as a kid.
That’s not abuse. He pushed her down onto the couch to keep her from still climbing on him. You need to teach your kids now that when daddy (or you) say no more than it means no more. Wrestling is rough housing and yes parent or kid may get hurt in playing (I did this all the time growing up with my dad) but it’s not severe hurts. That said, you need to set up some boundaries and discipline when your kids keep going at it after it was told to stop. My girls wrestle with daddy all the time here, but when he says to stop they stop.
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She said she never had a dad so she is honestly clueless on this guys. Give her a damn break. But no, dads roughhouse with the kids to the point of tears all the time lol one never wants to stop while the other is done. My boys are still learning when it’s okay to wrestle and roughhouse and when it’s time to stop or is inappropriate. I enforce that wrestling and roughhousing is something that’s only done with each other and daddy at OUR home. Not in public or at others houses. And if someone gets mad or physically hurt then we stop and address it calmly. Wrestling is for fun, not a way to release anger.
Either party needs to be able to say stop at any time and it stops. Other than that, play on Daddy.
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It’s rough housing not abuse … My husband rough houses with all our kids … However all have to learn when to stop … Honest opinion is u are overreacting
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You might want to put the boundaries on you little ones. Also keep in mind she could have hit his groin area and he had no choice but to shove her away. Before you go after him put them in their place just saying.
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I think they are kids and that’s natural. Maybe tell the kids that stop truly means stop. This is definitely not abuse.
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You’re thinking way you much into this and need to stop. Nothing in this screams abuse.
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That’s not abuse at all, but your kids need to learn to stop when they are told too.
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Kids need to know when Stop is Stop. Relax
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Sounds like a dad who loves his kids. Dad tend to play rough with the kids. Read up on. That stimulates a different part of the brain for kids. Moms tend to be the nurturing one and dads the rough and more fun/playful parts. Totally fine. If they are having fun you know it isn’t abuse, they wouldn’t go back if they didnt like it
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He shouldn’t be rough-housing with the kids! If he doesn’t like it being done to him, then he shouldn’t be teaching the kids to do it!!
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I think you need to be teaching the kids to actually listen.
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Maybe establish a “Done” word (essentially a safe word) so that if either party uses it, they all Stop right away, recognizing that it’s serious. Kids will often cry out “Stop!” if they find themselves pinned or needing a better hold. With a unique word, they can express their true intent, as can Dad.
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My kids know, if you want to rough house then you’re taking a risk of getting hurt. Hopefully it doesn’t happen, but it is a possibility when you’re wrestling in the house. 
don’t want to take the risk, don’t be rough housing in my house. No one is trying to hurt anyone, but like I said it can happen.
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Read the definition of abuse. Then ask your question.
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Not abusive…the game was over the kids need to be taught boundaries…call a family meeting and everyone sit and talk set up rules etc…its all good and everyone should enjoy their kids! Lol so relax and let sleeping dogs lie just put in some boundaries and set up a word for safety boundaries (stop never means stop with kids!) And maybe teach them personal space too is healthy! Go enjoy some cuddles and dad play!
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Physical abuse is defined as intention to cause harm/injury
Mental abuse is defined as intention to cause fear (different from establishing consequences or discipline for undesired behavior).
His behavior based on what you said does not warrant concern. However, if he is pissed off, then he needs to respond with a more stern, deliberate or matter of fact statement and then follow through.
Rough housing is fine and is a great way to bond. It is likely that this is something that he has wished he experienced with his own parents and is normal.
Others stating that he should not be rough housing clearly live a more uppity, judgemental lifestyle.
If your kids are happy, well adjusted and not scared (clearly noted, since they keep going back to play) then he is fine and you all should raise your own kids and not let social media dictate that for you.
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You are definitely over reacting lol. Nothing about this is abuse. The only thing that needs to be done is teaching your kids boundaries.
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I’d push my kid away from me in a second if they were attacking me! I have done it! Rough housing is normal amd natural. Just teach proper boundries.
Its Natural consequences. Let them try that with someone else or a bigger kid and get punched in the mouth. Best to learn at home with more gentle consequences.
When rough housing if anyone say stop it needs to stop! It takes consent from all parties for any activity . Teach them young to respect consent & boundries.
As someone who has experienced abuse this is far from it.
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The next step is to teach the children when it is appropriate to play fight and when its not. My boys do the same and they wrestle all the time. They are 6 and 5. Kids have lots of energy and its good to encourage them to use that energy at the right times in a safe manner. And just because he “pushed” her into a sitting position on a soft couch may seem aggressive without context doesn’t mean it is. He was done playing he stated that, got up and she continued. The only thing that he could have done better was enforced that play was done also. Might I add this is a great way to teach kids self defense moves while they play fight so that should be incorporated too. Throw them safely so they have better equilibrium and balance. Teach them how to escape a tight grip. Let them play. Im on lunch and dont have time to pull up articles for Yall but if you research I promise as long as its in a safe way they are fine
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Get the kids under control
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It’s called PLAYfighting , or as you put it ‘roughhousing’ totally normal you should see my partner and our kids fly about the room doing wrestling moves:joy: I remember doing it with my dad, such good times!! Tbh I’d think more sadly of a house where it doesnt happen, to me it screams love and laughter. But the kids just need to be taught some boundaries and when enough is enough and you should also probably just chill out a bit in my opinion 
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That’s exactly what it was. And that’s all it is.
I bet she’ll listen next time.
He won’t have to shove her down much for her to get the point of “I’m serious right now, I’m not playing, stop!”
Bc lots of times 
”stop”just warrants more jumping/attacking dad.
This time he meant business and she “felt that”
I wouldn’t call it abuse.
I’m guessing you guys don’t spank and all that too?
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Lmfao … not abusive at all.
My son and husband have been play fighting/ wrestling for years idk when it started but my son is 13 and they still do. I think your overreacting
Kids seem to be the abusive ones
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Well there is a line between rough-housing and abuse, and most moms always worry about dads getting too rough it is just in the dna! But Dads are well aware of their strength, and I am sure from what you’ve said he hasn’t crossed that line. I was tossed on a couch too! Now, if it was the floor, or the concrete, well, yes, that’s a problem! Sometimes a mom’s insticts go into over-drive. Still, that doesn’t mean I discard them. If his behavior really upsets you, tell him! And obviously if it worsens or you really think you are dealing with an abusive situation, get help. Almost always, an abusive partner will start with the wife or girlfriend. Has he been rough with you? Uncomfortably so? Then you might be looking at serious issues.
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It’s called communication. Talk with him about it and what you are uncomfortable with
That is not abuse. No parent is required to let a child continue with behavior that they have asked to stop especially physical behavior. Pushing a child on a couch that didn’t result in anything but bruised feelings is not abuse
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Really? Maybe teach your kids…both of you…some discipline. My kids playfight with their dad all the time. When he days enough…they have to go do something else or he corrects their behavior…just like i do when they get to rough jumoing on me amd stuff. It is called being a parent. Teach your kids to listen to you and your spouse so not running wild.
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Sounds like you guys need to teach them boundaries. He’s getting abused by your kids and I’m sure it’s annoying. He just made her sit down from standing on the couch?? Girl your kids should t be standing in the couch and jumping on him in the first place. They are rude and misbehaved. Shame on you for acting like he’s abusing them.
It’s not abuse but rough housing with your kids is just a bad idea all around. Makes them more aggressive and play tough with other kids which is never a good idea.
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I don’t think he’s abusive. The kids also need to learn that no means no. Stop means stop. There’s a time when excitement goes to far. It’s teaching when you say no, stop or enough that is exactly what I’m saying
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Teach them to tap out or a word to let them know it’s over. Make a joke of it but keep on point. Personally it sounds like they are having fun. If it hurt they wouldn’t play.
Rough housing is fine but your husband needs to be clear on if he is playing with his children or not. They are five and under, they are not going to be able to read people as easily or well as a grown adult (like most of these people in the comments who are bashing the children lmao), I think you should speak to your husband and let him know that the children are not going to be able to tell the difference of him joking or being serious and then pushing them as discipline for not listening is not okay. You say when they are play fighting and they say stop he does not, how are they suppose to know stop means stop if he continues? It is NOT your children’s fault
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Its a good thing you don’t live in a house full of boys. 
Last summer my now 12 year old practically fractured an ankle rough housing with his brothers and their friends. Hell. The next day with a se ere sprain, Air cast and crutches he was out there rough housing again.
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Not abuse. Seriously.
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Have a talk with him and tell him your concerns. Tell children to stop that behavior.
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Hes playing with them not abusing them.
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He isn’t abusing them. Good grief. I legit hope this is just a hypothetical question the admins come up with. Cuz some of these scenarios are stupid.
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For me personally. I never play fight, wrestle or rough house with my Son or any kid. Kids to me don’t know how to turn play time off. As adults we are not always in a playing mood. Yes we can play games and joke around. To me play fighting sets the tone that it’s ok to be aggressive or give them the narrative that it’s ok to challenge when authority is needed ( not physically). It teaches putting your hands on someone in an hitting manner is ok. Now you don’t like how he pushed her but it’s been a normal thing that’s been taught by the parents.
No means no
Stop means stop
Consent means consent
Learn and teach your husband AND KIDS these basic rules and you will find rough play has boundaries and respect from all parties involved xx
My Dad rough housed me when i was a kid. I would get upset at times and be angry and go right back because it was fun. He didn’t rough house me out of anger. My Dad never spanked me. That was my experience. That doesn’t mean you kids feel the same. My opinion is that you need to communicate with him. Ask yourself if your kids are fearful of him, does he show them love and kindness, does he continue to push them around until they become overly frustrated?
I would say that is not abuse ur daughter was not listening and got to rough i don’t think he meant to push her that way and especially if he’s never hurt u or the kids in anyway before
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Doesn’t sound like abuse but maybe you should teach them when somebody says stop to actually stop.
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Not abuse. Your kids would be scared of him and not want to go near him if he was abusing them and hurting them in some way, shape or form.
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It doesn’t sound like abuse. It sounds like he’s playing with his kids the way a lot of dads do (at least how my dad did when I was younger). As for him pushing her down on the couch when he was irritated with her, yes he shouldn’t push her out of anger but he didn’t hurt her and intended no harm towards her. Sometimes people have bad days and their temper gets short, just talk to him about it and express your concerns. But don’t accuse him of abusing his children because that is a huge accusation that shouldn’t be made lightly or nonchalantly
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Not abuse but definitely playing too rough. She could have been accidentally hurt. Talk to him and tell him how it made you feel. Come up with a plan going forward to avoid this in the future.
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no means no. i get they are kids. but sounds like a lack of discipline. we knew better that to this when i was a child. never butt in an adult conversation, no means no, stop means stop. if he’s not intentionally being rough with them and leaving marks, it’s not abuse. sounds like stern disabling. i have a child who knows and understands REALLY well when i say no, or stop, i’ll repeat my self twice, and then i’m whooping some butt. i never leave a mark. but some times kids think it’s funny, mine will jump on me and throw his head back, and i have braces and he’s busted my lip atleast 4-5 times. it gets really annoying. and i’m a stay at home mom, i couldn’t imagine working and coming home and having kids jump all over me like they don’t have any sense.
I assume he is the father after 22 years together, you should both discipline them when they don’t listen so neither of you get irritated. I don’t think it was abuse. I also don’t think you should put something like this in the internet! As a mother if I even questioned abuse, he would no longer be in the house. Also, this was shared so I’m thinking somebody contacted CPS, be safe
He needs to set boundaries. They think he’s playing when he is actually trying to draw a line. He needs to draw clear lines and hold them to them until new habits are in place. Talk to him about it if you’re uncomfortable, find out if he wants to discipline differently so that they actually listen to him. If he does, tell him to draw clear lines instead of saying no and then just throwing them around, which they see as fun. Sometimes people just have different relationships with kids, but if you’re uncomfortable y’all should be talking about it.
I’d have a talk with them all to establish some boundaries and ground rules since it sounds like a free for all.
This sounds like typical rough housing which can get pretty crazy. I do want to thank you for being vigilant and questioning things you’re unsure about. Never stop doing that for your children - no matter who the other person is. You’re doing a great job mama, keep it up 
I don’t think it’s abuse. My dad rough housed with me and my sister. He wrestled with us. If we went passed our boundaries in any situation, he set us straight. He never hurt us. Dads are different than moms sometimes
Not abuse at all. However I’d start making the kids learn to stop when told and learn to listen and follow instructions and directions. He didn’t abuse her in any way. But I do hope when he’s calm y’all talk calmly and appropriately. Maybe mention you didn’t like how he pushed her and you understand he was trying to get her to stop but that it just bothered you a bit. Let him know you’ll work harder to teach them to listen and obey. (ESP if you’re a stay at home mom. That role falls primarily on you… if you both work it falls on both of you. But mostly it’s mom teaching that and dad reenforces of the kids don’t follow directions and listen).
This to me doesnt sound abusive in any way shape or form, it sounds like a dad rough playing with his kids. If you feel like he is a little heavy handed then speak to him, but if as you say he has never laid a rough hand on you and you have been with him all these years then you know better than a load of strangers on the internet the kind of man he is? So talk to your partner, it sounds like it’s more a you problem than one from the childrens side of they are repeatedly going back for more-thats generally how kids they-they are relentless! Lol
Sounds like play to me. My Kids loved the rough housing. My brother rough housed me growing up and I loved it! Made me a rough and tuff female when I had to be. They are blessed to have an involved dad.
its normal I have 4 brothers and my dad we used to get really rough …my uncle would walk threw the door and we would jump him and steal his money he called it being rolled:joy:
(he always had money in his pockets for us and when we stoped his feelings were hurt lol)
What no my husband plays like that with the kids they are very very rough children especially my daughter. Maybe the kids need a little more boundaries set as when to stop my son and daughter love jumping on there dad. Sounds to me like you don’t trust that man. But it’s definitely not abuse I grew up like that I have a brother and sister and we always rough housed
Sounds to me like your defending him, if you feel this way put a stop to the rough housing period… you asked the question so you yourself knew whatever took place wasn’t right!
My kids and husband do all this almost every single day. We have 7 kids and my 9 year old daughter just started mma so it’s always chaos 
if hubby gets too rough I throw his butt in a choke hold and help the kids. Someone almost always gets pissed at some ppint. It’s completely normal here lol
I wouldn’t say that’s abuse I’d say it’s playing rough but definitely need to set boundaries for how the kids are playing back it’s hard with them so young they don’t really understand when it’s play time and when it’s not. I’d say be happy he wants to play with the kids.
Sounds to me like dad rough houses with kids as part of his love language to them. My husband does the same. Kids have to learn clear boundaries and enough is enough. Going by your story, it sounds like he was having a bad day and just got frustrated. When she came at him, he kinda reacted. But he didn’t swing on her, he just pushed her back to stop her attacks.
That’s not abuse. But it sounds like your kids need to learn no means no and stop means stop. That’s on both you and their dad to teach them
First of all, defend yourself kids at all times. Oof Your comment made me cringe a little, “I think he was way irritated and she was coming at him like that.” She is 5. FIVE years old.
Sounds like normal rough housing and kids not listening or realizing where the line is… bc you know they’re kids. Doesn’t seem abusive.
You may want to sit down with the kids on this issue, he seems to try and be active with them, they need to know when an adult says to stop…they mean it…
It’s not abuse but if it continues like that where your children know no boundaries because you can’t set them because in your mind it is abuse then yes it can potentially become abuse. He got tired and your kid didn’t know how to take no for an answer you should of stepped in and corrected your child instead of letting him handle it and then you not liking it.
It sounds like your kids don’t understand no, yes they are kids but when they are told to stop that means stop. If your kids are rough housing with your husband, they say stop but go right back to keep playing, they don’t want him to stop playing. Rough housing is not abuse.
It doesn’t seem like abuse to me but i do think you should perhaps talk to him about being a little rough and a little hard and ask him to tone it down abit. I also think you should talk to and teach your kids about boundries and that when play time is over its OVER. When someone says thats enough or stop then the children should learn to respect that. If however he gets triggered by even the smallest things and does this then id say worry but it sounds to me like his patients is abit worn thin thats all.
I don’t see this as abuse. I do think they all need a lesson is what “no” and “stop” means. When someone says stop you stop, end of story. However you don’t go back at it 2 seconds later.
Sounds like there is more of a boundary issue here than an abuse issue. Pushing her down to a seated position on the couch isn’t abuse.
Sounds like over the top rebel rousing. Play getting a bit out if hand. You should intervene and back him up and tell the kids to settle down. Just tell them and him you are worried someone is going to hurt as accidents do happen.
i would say more of a boundary issue then abuse… he needs to make sure they know stop means stop… my 6 and 4 year old granddaughters whine ALOT so when they wont stop ( like after what feels like a zillionth time) we place them in a different room till they “turn their ears back on” most times it works unless they are sick… but that being said. he has brought alot of this on and now he needs to really stand firm when he says no. if they run back and jump again… place then on the same spot on the couch and say no and (age number) mintues till you get up. this will take a while. but they need to learn.
No that doesn’t qualify as abuse in my opinion. She just didn’t realize that he was serious.
Maybe he could’ve handled the situation better by getting down on her level, looking her dead in the eyes, and saying “I said no and I mean it”, with a stern voice.
My first husband and the kids always rough housed when they were little. He would toss them on the couch and do all of what you’re saying. But the kids learned when he was done, it was done. I was with my first husband for 18 years, he passed away 4 years ago. If I ever thought things were getting too rough, I always walked in and said ok that’s enough and they all stopped and cooled down. I was always known as the serious one and they all knew when I interjected, it was time to stop.
Sounds like the daughter just enjoys that type of play and doesn’t know when it’s time to stop.
It’s not abuse. When he does something like that just kindly mention “that was a bit rough”. My man and I do stuff like this all the time. Sometimes we just get over annoyed and snap or get a little rougher than intended. But we correct each other and apologize. It happens. Kids are resilient, they can handle it. Remind him that he taught the kids to rough house and they’re too young to fully understand “there’s a time and place”. If the two of communicate well, he’ll understand.
Oh my god people. Rough housing is completely fine. And so is the little push onto a flipping couch.
I literally push my daughter on the couch all the time. It’s soft, she gets back up and asks me to push her again. No abuse.
Your husband and your kids need to talk about boundaries
My boyfriend and our 3yr old wrestle all the time… but our kid sometimes doesn’t listen when his dad says stop just because he’s hyped up from play
Relax…he is not abusive…they were just rough housing…kids love that…my daughter rough houses with her dad my bf all the time…it is no big deal
Wow this is the most RIDICULOUS post I have ever read I can not believe you typed this out read it then still submitted it…sounds like he should run as far away as possible from you like your just waiting to pin a dumb ass charge on him if you truly believe rough housing qualifies as abuse then I feel sorry for you and the kids that have to grow up with an over bearing mother rough housing with dad is a normal part of childhood 
He pushed her down onto the couch, not the floor. She was not listening, instead kept pushing the issue. 5 is old enough to learn stop means stop. That does not sound like abuse to me. It did not sound like he intended to harm her in any way, just stop her behavior. Time to have a talk with her about obeying “stop”.
Honestly, not having a dad growing up makes me so sad bc all of this is so normal to me. Our dad always did this kinds of stuff with us. I don’t take it as abuse. I could be wrong, but maybe I’m mistaking your post.