Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What’s your experience on dealing with mental health and trying to plan more babies?
I not trying to be negative but not nosy
Have that baby . talk to that life coach. Do what u think is right FOR YOU !!
If they don’t help you none, why worry about their opinion. If you feel like you can handle it, then have that baby girl!
I mean if you do cool. But don’t do it and then complain if your mental health gets too much, or its too much to cope with later on🤷🏽♀️
If u guys want to then do it. Doesn’t matter what anyone’s says or does
I would say if he is your main support then, is it possible for him to find another job closer to home, or maybe for you guys to move as a family closer to his job so he is with you more (im guessing since he works in another province that he is gone for stretches at a time, if not then sorry). I hadn’t really acknowledged my own struggles with mental health until recently when my daughter started having her own struggles, I had my baby 10 months ago and postpartum hit me like a freaking freight train. Thankfully everything is better and my hubby recognized what was going on especially when I tried to return to work, and helped me. Now I stay at home with my babies and am in a good place. But I couldn’t imagine if he was away for days at a time. I need hom close to me
I would also see a psychiatrist and get an evaluation.
Also see a OB/GYN and get an evaluation.
Between the two you should come up with an educated answer.
There are ways ways to help. So you’re not alone.
Some people need more help than others.
I wish you all the best.
Sandra
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What’s your experience on dealing with mental health and trying to plan more babies?
I wouldn’t personally add another child to my life if I was struggling with mental issues. Having 4 kids is a huge thing and I think you need to be mentally sound before jumping into that with minimal support. I have 2 kids with a FIFO husband and 0 support where I live. I wanted more kids but mentally I couldn’t handle it right now so I won’t be having anymore at this stage.
But, only you can make this decision on what’s best for not only you but your family.
It’s your life , your body. Your decision.
Only you know what you can handle
It doesn’t really matter what your family says though… they aren’t even involved according to this post so who cares what they say. This is between you and your husband. If he wants another and you do as well then there is your answer.
Listen - screw what the family who isnt there for you has to say about YOUR life. This is mostly a discussion for you and your husband. I encourage you to do what you two agree on. And if its trying for another, I hope you find a regiment that helps you best & Im sure once you’re not stressing so much over things that dont matter - what will the others say- youll be just fine 
aside from your husband, no one else’s opinion about the size of your family matters. Good luck 
If it’s already questionable by yourself…NOT your family…you should hold off and do more personal work.
Stop while you’re ahead
NO more kids especially if your having mental health issues IT isn’t fair to the children at all. Think of them and what is best for them FIRST!
Cognitive behavioral therapy was the best therapy to help me move past my personal traumas and embrace motherhood.
If you’re ready and are to the point you know you can handle another child mentally, physically, and emotionally. Go ahead an talk to your husband an try for another. As long as you’re able to handle everything then no one can tell you no. You’re a grown woman.
If you have mental health issues, chances are youre passing on your issues onto your children. Selfish.
It shouldn’t matter what your family thinks it’s up to you and your husband and if you 2 think you can do
It’s really up to you and your husband but in my opinion work on your mental health. Just because you want 4 kids doesn’t mean you need or should have 4 kids. Your mental health is important for you and for the children you have now.
Then dont why do that to yourself and a child?
It should be up to you and your husband, if you are capable to have another child.
You just stated you have mental health issues . You’re on meds , you have a history of postpartum as well as depression . You don’t need more kids . As messed up as the world is and with your history another shouldn’t even be questioned .
Don’t do it. Work on yourself first.
Having another baby is never a way to ‘fix’ anything…
Take my advice and talk this over with your doctor first together. as you don’t no if the tablets you are on will harm the baby if you come pregnant. think of your health first. you don’t want to put more problems on yourself. even if its putting the baby off untill your in a better place. good luck to you both what you both desides.
You shouldn’t plan your family over what other people think however you have to consider your kids and future kids. You know you will become depressed after giving birth and you said you are on your own when your husband is away working. You should focus on yourself and your family. Get yourself to a healthy place before even considering another baby.
Since you still taking advice from your family you should had narried them and not get a husband.
At end of day it your choice if having another child more the marier I say
3 is plenty, but in the long run it’s your decision.
Only you know of you can cope
I’ve have two boys, and one existing twin born at 16 weeks. A boy again so I’m a mama of 3 boys. Make that determines gender xd
No guarantee you will have a daughter
Liking people being critical of mental health here but ostcof it is judgmental not factually based.
I guess actually my 1st bit of advice would be to make an appointment to speak to your doctor/mental health team and seek there professional opinion…1 because it may help and 2 because if they know your planning to try (or not) they can up your medications or tweak them to account for life changes that would affect your emotional wellbeing. 2ndly I would speak with both yours and hisbands family and explain your plans to have another child and be upfront honest and ask for a bit of family support during this time and the immediately after having baby time for couple of months after all its not like you need there help forever is it,that way you have support and help if you hit a struggle initially, specially while hormones in pregnancy and post natal settle again which plays havoc with most woman s mental health.
Whether your on medications or not this is a choice only you can make for if you think you can manage or cope with personally! And obviously this isn’t said to upset on not involve your other half but ultimately you know how your mental health is morecthan anyone
Bit keep talking together and you ll make the right decision for you both and your family. … I am disabled also in wheelchair, I have 4 amazing kids and nothing stops me being a good mum to my kids without any support and without help so forcall those ignorant to mental health, yes I have medications too. I an self reliant and financial support all my family and the ignorance of the visibly Judgmental world we live in is actually just narrow minded people who are ignorant to what people with various disabilities can actually achieve hold your head high ax be who you are…life is choice,either way I wish you luck in your chosen path
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What’s your experience on dealing with mental health and trying to plan more babies?
Talk to your hubby! At the end of the day you have each other.
I totally understand where you are coming from. We have a almost 4 year old daughter and I am now 6 weeks pregnant with baby number 2. I also struggle with my mental health daily and also had bad PPD with our daughter. It’s definitely a big decision - and some of my family felt the same as yours. But at the end of the day, if you and your husband are able to (physically and financially) bring another life into this world and this is what y’all want to do - I say go for it! The decision to procreate is between you and him - you’re family will either get on board or they won’t. But don’t let their opinions influence your family 
I wish you the best of luck and all of the baby girl dust!!
Honestly, I want four kids too. I’m pregnant with my third child right now. I have two daughters and my unborn child is a little boy. I spoke with my aunt and one of my grandparents about a possible fourth child for me, but their reactions… They think it’ll be foolish of me to even think about a fourth child due to our situation. So I completely understand how you feel. Also, I have depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. So yea. Completely understand. My two daughters are already in school so when my son gets here, it’ll only be him and I at home while my daughters are in school and while my hubby is at work.
Talk to your husband about the pros and cons of another baby. Make a decision and then make a plan. Whatever you decide, make sure the decision is that of yours and your husbands only. The decision to have a child should always be between the couple having the baby, but if your family isn’t very involved now, then they shouldn’t be involving their opinions.
It’s not your families decision to make. This decision is yours and your hubby’s. May I suggest talking with your drs as well and make sure everyone is on the same page with your mental status. I suffer with mental issues as well and PPD almost killed me the first time after having my daughter. Shes 3 now and I finally got my health into a good place and I’ve been with my fiance for 9 years and he’s always had my back. We are now pregnant with baby #2 and we couldn’t be happier! Good luck mama, and do what makes you and your kiddos happy!!!
My family does not agree with us having another one right now either. That’s why we just haven’t told them we have been trying. I had a miscarriage 2 years ago and have had a lot of health issues down there and the dr OB feels I should get a hysterectomy due to everything going on down there and I agree but I want one more first so we have been trying for a year now with no luck but honestly it’s between my husband and I not anyone else. So we have just chose to keep our journey mostly between us two and that’s it then if and when it happens be like surprise!
Don’t! Wait until your mental health is better.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What’s your experience on dealing with mental health and trying to plan more babies?
From experience with mental health conditions do not push too far. There is always a breaking point and having one more baby could be it. I struggled with postpartum psychosis after my boys were born but I was alright after my daughter now I’m still dealing with bipolar disorder as well as others including anxiety and PTSD
Embrace the children you have and don’t risk your mental health problems. You are blessed with 3, be thankful for them and live the wonderful life you have. The world we live in is so confused! Take care.
Have you thought of adopting a little girl?
You said you are a young mother, maybe give yourself some more time to make sure you are strong enough mentally to handle the hormone changes and doing it almost alone as you said your husband is gone alot due to work. By the way, since your family has chosen to basically stay out of your life, why should what they have to say on the subject matter?? Sure you probably still love them but if aren’t there physically, or mentally for you…then the only opinions that really matter belong to you and your husband and your doctor. I do understand that sometimes those mommy urges are super hard to ignore though!
Have children for quality, …not quantity!
Focus on you!! Finances , ins, food, life ins, house, bills , cars. Can you do all that?? Get you ok then put a huge plan in place. Children depends on parents
You know your body and mind and heart better than anyone else.
However, medically remember, you might have to come off of your mental health meds while pregnant due to the harm they can do to the baby. Please weigh out your options first with yourself, then your husband and doctors, then take in the advice from the family members you actually trust and then make the decision of what is best for your family, you and your children. Bless you mama.
so let’s pray about this snd let’s be realistic about the facts and then let’s remember that today is not forever and perhaps, this is not the best time to have another baby. reflect
No one knows what a pregnancy or birth are going to be like and also if you will have a baby that’s very demanding
WIth your mental health and with you doing all of the caring for your boys I’d think about it twice as they would be living it with you and as you already know it can be very difficult and all new babies are very hard work and very tiring
For the
Moment I would concentrate on you and your health get yourself better think about your boys and then make a decision
Best wishes for a wonderful future xxxx
Please don’t until stable financially, emotionally, and spiritually!
Parenting is tough even when we are at our best! Four children are a lot especially today physically, emotionally and financially. I had three and it really stretched me to almost my breaking point at times. Pray lots!
Don’t pay attention to what others say or think. You just concentrate on your health and if you can handle having another baby without emotional support.
Just enjoy the three sons. If a baby should come later, what a blessing it will be. It could be a boy. I wouldn’t push. Why do family members have any reason to give their opinions on having another child. I guess don’t share desires with others.
Just enjoy the children you have and enjoy life as is. Boy mom life is fun from what I hear. Best of luck to you. Maybe a little girl is out there waiting for you to be her mother. That said, the meds and pregnancy wouldn’t be an issue. Have fun and remember to breathe.
True ,You need to deal with the current situation. Dont add more kids at all,esp your partner is out of easy reach You’re not quite mentally stable:thinking:Your familys advice is the best and for your own good,they want you happy. You deserve tranquillity.
Goodluck
You need to be in a good place yourself first. Get your feet under you and stable, then you will be able to handle another baby if that is what you desire. However, how will you feel of it is another boy? Not to say you wouldn’t love him less but if that would make your struggle afterwards worse then you need a plan to deal with it. You are thinking ahead and aware of your own struggles, that is two huge steps in the right direction. Good luck!
Your family is right. Those kids depend on you completely and need a rock solid mom.
You have to take care of yourself first you admit that you are getting help and on different medications right now is not the time to make any life changing decesions
It sounds as though you are managing to keep going well for your children but remember children are a privilege and deserve your best.
I too wanted a girl but never had one so my second son and his beautiful wife gave me a granddaughter who turns 18 soon and she was worth waiting for.
You already know of the answer hun…maybe its just not the one you want. Best wishes for you💜
There are other ways to have children other then giving birth maybe look into adoption.
Its not up to your family. You didn’t marry your family. Can you financially afford another child on 1 income? If you struggle then NO u do not need anymore .
It is stupid to add to your load. You may not get a girl and your current children deserve you to be well. Don’t risk it.
Think through this-u r the soul party for your children as your husband works out of state. Its a big decision Can u commit?
I would say its upto you if you want another baby.it doesn’t matter what your family say
You answered your question. Fix yourself and re assess your capabilities and needs not wants
Who cares what your family says… if you want another baby then go for it… I have 4 kids and you know what, it’s not much different than having 3!!!
What does your husband say?
Wait a year & reassess.
Get it together first.
It it none of your family’s business. However, I do believe in Karma and if you are having trouble conceiving, I would take that as a sign you may not be ready just now for a fourth child. Let nature take its course without pharmaceutical intervention.
Prayers and hugs:pray:
Be happy with what you got what happens if you both get laid of n you have another baby on the way dnt be stupid
Your family is not you. Have a baby if you want to.
If your on meds u need to see what it will do to you once ur off them and pregnant. U will be out of wack and hormones all over the place taking care of little ones on ur own. Do you have support system before, during and after pregnancy? Just stuff to think about. Any baby would be a blessing.
U never no your next one u could b fine .and if ya doctor is aware they can put support in and keep a eye open see how your dealing with the baby once born …
Don’t have a baby until you get your mental health taken care of
It doesnt matter what your family says. They don’t help you anyways as you stated. It’s between you and your husband. If you feel you can handle a 4th child through everything you go through on a daily and you and your husband are financially stable to have a 4th then go ahead.
Mental health will always be a problem. Have your 4th if you feel you’d be happy. Do what you and your husband want. Only you know the precautions and possible outcomes. Only you know what you can handle. If you think you can mentally handle it than have that baby. If YOU feel you have enough to deal with than maybe wait. Don’t let others affect your decisions
Who cares what your family would say about it? It’s your life, your marriage, your home. You do whatever you want and if anyone tells you any differently then tell them to eff off. At least you’re trying to get better!
Idk you said your family isn’t involved but you’re thinking about what they would think also, but I would not think about what they say if they are really not involved. The only thing I’d think about is knowing he works a lot and it will mostly be you doing the daily raising, and if that’s OK with you then go for it!
I think the most important thing would be to stop worrying about how everyone else feels and do what makes you and your husband happy. Plus if your having doubts that usually tells you that it’s not time for another baby. You need to work on you. Get yourself together it is important.
Maybe wait until you have been on your new meds awhile,
Who cares what your family says, they’re not supporting you or helping you out. So why let them dictate what you do or don’t do. Regardless of who they are their opinions do not matter what so ever. If you want another baby and feel as if you can handle it and your husband is good with it too, then there’s your answer. Don’t live your life by what people who don’t do anything for you tell you to do. You’d be miserable if so. If I had listened to my crazy family I wouldn’t have 2 beautiful boys and another on the way now. Don’t let anyone tell you what your happiness can or can’t be.
Don’t do it. You need to be able to handle yourself & your current situation before adding to the fray.
If you are starting a medication regime for stability, now is not the time to have more babies. You will have to stop all meds while pregnant and breastfeeding which means that whatever you’re being medicated for is going to be untreated for a year plus. Not many people can manage stability that long without medication if they’ve been deemed in need of it, and adding hormones that are all over the place from pregnancy can be dangerous, especially if you’re already at risk for post partum. I’m not trying to be mean, but untreated post partum is often an underlying condition in the women who strap their kids in the back seat of their cars and drive it into a lake.
I also suggest that you do some soul searching and figure out why four is the magic number and if that was the dream of a child or is the dream of the adult you’ve become. Many parents have babies to fill a void or hole in their own lives, even the healthy ones (think how often you hear people say I want a baby so I have someone to love me), so it isn’t that unusual but you definitely need to figure out if you want another baby for the baby’s sake or if you want it for yours. And then once you realize that the only reason to have babies is for the parents sake and it is always about their wants and wishes, it becomes easier to see that maybe we don’t need as many kids as we fantasize about. Babies shouldn’t be brought into being to cure unhappiness, loneliness, etc. in their parents.
As for your family weighing in, no it isn’t their choice but keep in mind they see you from the outside. If they are cautioning that it may not be the best idea or a good time for you, especially without having your partner home regularly to give in home support, it may be prudent to actually listen to them. Listen to their reasons without getting defensive or shutting down. They may see parts of your instability that are lingering that you don’t see while living in your skin. When we get far enough down the depression hole, rock bottom can get comfortable and cozy to the point we don’t realize how far we’ve sunk until an outsider is like, um, hey, this isn’t normal.
Work on yourself it is hard on your children as well and most mental health issues are hereditary not something you want to pass down. I know my mother did.
God bless & hope for the best
Why would you want more kids when you aren’t mentally stable… whatever you go through your kids see and go through too. It just doesn’t seem like the smart thing to do. Your kids that you have now deserve your attention.
I think you gotta know your triggers and what makes it hardest, in my case all the therapy in the world cant change the physical and exhausting difficulties im experiencing right now so its a no, i wont even get a new puppy. I want another kid but need the situation to improve and im working on it (big source of the stress) until thats done. Its a no for me.
Why would you want to bring another child into your current situation?? Work on yourself , make a plan then baby.
Do what you want it’s your life not there’s…if you feel stable Enough to have another baby then do it’s don’t worry about pleasing others, you’ve gotta live with the consequences of raising another child not them!
It shouldnt matter what your family thinks, it has to be right for you and your husband
If they don’t support you , you don’t need their option or blessing
Honestly you should do what makes YOU and your husband happy. We can’t live our lives and base our happiness on what others will think. Life is too short boo. Sit down with a pen and paper and your husband and write a list of the pros and cons of having another baby. Talk to your life coach about resources for your mental health during and after pregnancy. Also you might take into consideration the medication you take that works for you that may not be something you can take while being pregnant. Would it be worth not having proper medicine for several months?