What should I do about my controlling husband?

Either he’s been cheated on before or he’s cheating.

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Run for your damn life.

Walk away and get a divorce. You’re not together and it’s not fair for children.

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Go, make a better life for you and your daughter.

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Usually if they are accusing you, they are the guilty ones. Ask to check his phone on the spot!! Bet you find he is talking to women.

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That’s part of the problem with social media, it’s not all good!!!

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Run he is a controlling narcissist.

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Seen this story before. Not good. Just go.

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At this point it’s not even just about you anymore. If you can’t leave for you do it because it’s what’s best for your child.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should I do about my controlling husband?

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Get an attorney. You and your child have rights. A controlling person will never give you what you need. Instead they keep you feeling bad about yourself so that you will grateful for any little scraps they throw your way. Be careful and protect you and your child.

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You need to get out of the marriage. He will never change. You’re are grown woman and he shouldn’t control you. You’ll make it just fine on your own.

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He’s narcissistic… It’s quick sand, get out while you can!! Been there, done that… Get out… Run forest Run, and do not look back, and don’t even talk to him… periodt!! Trust me, you will be so much more at peace… Love ain’t got nothing to do with that, and HE WON’T CHANGE!!

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Not only is this relationship abusive to you, imagine how your child must feel. Get out and find a safe place for you and your daughter. He is a bully and wants someone he can control. If he will not provide for you…you dont need to provide for him. When I was young we called men like him a bum. That emotion is not love. love is an act…displaying your love by being kind, providing a home, trust … not just romance. The romance will come if they are good to you.

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Well here’s my opinion. I feel when a guy does that , accusing you of being w/ another guy or who were you talking to or wants to know where you are n w/who your with… He’s trying to take the heat of him… He could be up to no good. you are so busy defending yourself that is all your thinking about. Trying to satisfy him. I speak fr experience. Been there done it. Always accusing me even down to the clothes I was wearing. I had enough n the day I left him the phone rang n I answered n it was a women asking for him… at that point I had all my questions answered n I walked out feeling free. …I say don’t put up w/ it. As it is so unfair to YOU …

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This as called a toxic relationship. Sadly it can never go anywhere except Heartbreak Alley. Obviously you have made a move as you are separated at the moment. Be brave, keep moving on. Honestly there are better times ahead. A relationship with a controlling narcissist will never fill you, and your daughter, with the healthy, loving, respectful exposure you both need. Do this for your daughter so that she knows her Mum is strong and wise. Teach her self worth and that you have control of your life and only you can set that bar for how you are treated. Set that bar fucking high! Never allow anyone to undermine your integrity. You both deserve more. Two people have to put effort in to making a marriage work, don’t be his puppet. Be good to yourself and good luck with it xx

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As a child of an abuser I will tell you child knows what is going on and is likely living in fear of this man. Don’t do that to her. Get out.

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Run, as fast as you can. He will not change!

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You have been separated for 3 months so why cant you go through with the divorce, you say your heart wont let you but your not even together. Him being controlling and doing what he is doing is a form of abuse. Sadly your child is suffering because of you and your husbands relationship. If he is not going to get help then you need to just go and get the divorce, you already did the hardest part and that is actually leave.

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Well he certainly has your buttons. Do you wantt o be here in 45 days or somewhere else? He is manipulating you, run. often what they accuse you of doing is what they aredoing. run.

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When someone start Accusing you of something ’ like that
My experience is’ they are the one ( been there) start your life away from him it only get worst

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If he is accusing you of doing this, he is the one at fault because most likely he is doing it and throwing the blame on you for his mistakes. He is mentally abusing you. I know that it will be hard but you don’t need that in you or your child’s life. Seek counseling for yourself. I wish you luck.

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If he is accusing you that means his guilty.

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If he is accusing you of doing things and you know you’re not doing them I’m pretty sure that he’s the one doing the dirty deed! Get out while you are still sane love or no he isn’t going to change…,

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Get away from him for good it will only get worse. File for divorce and get child support. Move on. That’s not love.

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You can always reach out to ywca to see what services can help you. I agree you may need to leave him before it gets way worse for you and your little one. You don’t deserve that at all. It is not your fault at all. There are all kinds of help out there. Dshs, ywca, and others. You may need to even get a restraining order to protect you and your daughter if it comes to that. You can love him but the truth is controlling is not love at all. Get the help you need. Your happiness and wellness matters…

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I would get away from him asap! Sounds like he’s controlling, emotionally and financially abusive, and I will believe until the day I die that anyone who instantly snaps to accuse you of cheating for absolutely no reason- is because they’re unfaithful!! Best of luck

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Please explain to an Attorney. On the Emotional end, Please do yoursel AND your child a favor and leave. Your child is watching and listening. You are teaching her whether you realize it or not. This is not love. I was always told I would be “nothing” without him. I was terrified . The final straw was a plate thrown at my head. My 3 year old witnessed it and ran to hide in the corner of our bathroom. RIGHT THEN, I said, she will not grow up thinking this is normal. I was GONE!

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I suffered from this for a long time. The name calling false accusations and I’m a stay at home. He even brought my family into saying they were watching the kid’s so I could go out. Many years of praying and one day my husband said I’m done drinking and going to church with you now. It’s been over a month now and he hasn’t touched a drop of alcohol, apologized for all the awful things and life has been pleasant with him. Prayer is all I can say.

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Please put your kids needs 1st. I normally would say stay and work on it. But once they start neglecting kids then thats where my line gets drawn. Ya’ll do not deserve that abuse

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Usually if a man checks up on you all the time and accuses you of cheating is because he is cheating.Don’t let him control you,forget about him…RUN!!

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It is time for your husband to grow up and I agree he is probably doing it to you the trust issues are his problem not yours so if he’s not willing to do the work losrr

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You need to get away from him now. Don’t discuss this with him because he is a manipulator. He plans on “hovering” you back after he’s done setting his hooks in this new supply that he called a separation with you. Research narcissistic personality disorder and you’ll start seeing things as they really are. He is abusing you.

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He’s a narcissistic love ! Get your bubba n get off ! He will not stop until your doing exactly as he says when he says! you’ll be OK honest to god …or whoever you need to think on . Best of luck x

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We can’t ever never make someone else Happy non Angry. It’s a trick it’s a trap. RUN

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He is probably cheating, usually the accuser is. Get out.

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Block him from your social media! Move on with your life and take care of your daughter. Put her first, as the damage this relationship will cause her is not easily repaired.

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Make sure you stay married for at least 10 years so you can draw his social security. Tell him he’s not your daddy he’s your husband and partner. Grow up mr.

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I had that husband and I divorced him it’s been 7 1/2 years and I’ve never been happier I will never be in another relationship like that again

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My Grandma said " If he is accusing you with no grounds, you better look". This has proven over and over to be true.

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Love doesn’t do this ,he’s not your partner, you said it yourself, he’s controlling. You didn’t say one good or nice thing he does for you or your child. Move on

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Usually a man who’s overly jealous is actually guilty of infidelity himself. He’s throwing the guilt on you to divert the attention from him. If he refuses counseling then maybe you should seriously consider divorce. He will make your life miserable and zap all of your self esteem.

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Get a job and take care of yourself and your child. He is controlling and he will never stop. I know I had one like that. Couldn’t talk to anyone or do anything. I know it’s hard but you can do it.

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He is a controlling freak.thats no love.wake up & smell the coffee.

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Completely narcissistic personality behaviour and you are experiencing not love but uncertainty and desire to gain his approval. Please seek counseling for yourself and understand your own reactions towards him. Also divorce him as soon as possible

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Im not gonna tell you yo leave. Im not gonna say its gonna get better. Im not gonna say he’s gonna change because I know you heard it before. When a daughter’s first love is her father and she grows up to look for a love like her father. Her strength is built up from her mother. She will accept/refuse her husband’s behavior. I wanna know is this kind of future you are setting up for your girl.

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Most men who accuse their wives of cheating, are usually cheating themselves, and accusing you of what they are doing

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Divorce his crazy ass and move on. He will say he will change but trust me it will never happen. You and your daughter deserve someone to treat and love you like you deserve to be. It will be hard and you will be sad but after a bit if time it will get easier. One day you will look back and be so glad you did. Been there before and leaving hurt because I loved him but I loved my children more. God Bless and good luck hon.:heart:

Me thinks he is paranoid or a guilty conscience He needs counseling for his extreme irrational control. Get AWAY

Do what’s best for you if he’s not gonna be the husband and father that he should be guess what you have to work to support you and your daughter and seek counseling

Its not up to him to “let” you have a divorce, I’m in agreement withbeveryone else telling you, run, don’t walk and never look back, been there done that myself

I know that you love him, but you deserve respect and trust. You need more than that emotional love to be happy. I’m sure that you don’t want your child to become an insecure man like him or to look for a man like him as a partner. Children replicate what they’ve experienced.

Those who accuse are usually the ones doing. Reassure him of your love for him. But tell him it’s counseling or separation until he comes to his senses. Believe me as you get older his controlling behavior is going to make you miserable and make you wonder why you stayed with him for so long. Please don’t hesitate. When you are being controlled it makes you insecure, little confidence and pretty soon you don’t even recognize the person you’ve become. Ask God for guidance.

You need to figure out if you enjoy the way he treats you or if you have value at all. Love trusts ,love doesn’t put you down ,love is understanding and not abusive verbally or otherwise. You need to check him out it’s common for the accuser to be the guilty

Have a long talk about trust snd love. You’re not doing anything wrong, he has insecurity issues. He may be afraid You’re going to leave him for someone else. Reassure him that you love him and want to be with him.

Nothing is sexier than a man who respects,trust and totally loves you. I think the love is one sided though. That’s a toxic trait.soon he’ll strip you off your self esteem and joy! Trust me dear, sometimes love is not enough in a relationship. peace of mind and happiness is really what you need now.Seek for help and pray over it.

Girl don’t suffer. Get out. Love MINE also but if I could do it again, I’d run screaming for the hills. Your sanity is more important than than the love. Don’t subject your children to mental abuse. IT IS Mental abuse.

I have found that when a man accused his wife of being unfaithful, he is the one who is running around on the wife. He has been doing this and knows how easy it has been for him to get away with it that he thinks you surely are doing the same thing. If he is not willing to even help you with his daughter, he is not a man. He cares only about himself. My husband was seeing 3 different women (at the same time, while we were married) and was constantly accusing me of having an affair. Once this happens, he knows he is not worthy and tries to bring you down to his level. Otherwise, he has to do better to become worthy of you. Get out. Don’t look back. You deserve better. Your daughter deserves better. Once that trust is broken, it is extremely difficult to repair and often is not ever fully repaired. If you don’t get out, he will also become abusive and accusatory toward your daughter when she is older. I know you don’t want her to have to deal with that. Everyone will be better off.!

LEAVE!
Find a safe place for you and your child to regroup and keep plugging forward! You can take care of you and your child on your our own. Focus, plan and just Do it. You are not alone. Ask for help if you need it. That is a sign of strength. There is so much support

My thoughts and experience.Wether we beleive it or not sometimes we actually turn our partners in to controllers .Immaturity at times can lead us to think jealousy is caring. Often when someone doesnt trust you its either because you have done something to make the untrust .OR they dont trust themselves if it is the latter .End it

STOP thinking about what he wants for you and decide what you want and need for you. DO NOT let anyone tell you what to do with your life. Get a job so you wi have your own money, show your daughter you are a strong woman and that it’s ok to do what you want in life. Stay separate until and only if he smartens up and stops controlling. Take safety precautions also as this is the most dangerous time for a controlling spouse to hurt you. You call the shots on when/where you see him and swap your child off. Lock doors in your home and car. Keep a can of wasp spray handy that shoots 20’ in case he comes at you. Let people know where you are at all times. Set up your phone with a friend so they can see where you are etc. Do not be naive during this time. Stay strong, this is your life not his to control. I know it’s hard but you got this!

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You deserve better. File for divorce. The way you are being treated is not love, and is not what a father and husband does to love his family.

Accuser actually is the one that is doing the cheating. He/she feels guilty so they try to smear your image and start accusing you. Leave the moron and find yourself someone that is better and treat you equal. Good luck

I was in an abusive relationship. It was hard .took me years to find myself again .u have to do what u feel …sounds like hes begging ffg or attention maybe …if u find after that hes gotten stronger with his action .then I would try to to get away. Maybe that will may attention to his action .talk to him tell him do all u can before making a decision to leave .that way u wont go back .
Been years for me but I still have issues and I still talk to to someone to help me with the tools I need …blessing to u loves and cares .please becareful. Hes out there

He is not showing love for you, he is showing immaturity, dominance, and inconsideration. He is not interested in your happiness. Stand up for yourself and let him know that you will not put up with his mistreatment of you any longer. If nothing changes, leave him and find happiness for yourself.

I wish I had this book when I needed it. Unfortunately it was 10 years after leaving my emotional abuser when I read it. If you can read this safely, it will help you understand why verbal and emotional abuse are just the beginning of a life of misery for yourself and those you love. Staying, no matter the bond, can be dangerous. My abuser started punching walls, breaking furniture and irreplaceable mementos to punish me for things I had no clue were bad. When you are with an abuser it’s about power and the rules change to make that person feel powerful. This is the book I read that really helped me deal with similar people after I left him.

Run as far as you can from him. You are better than that to let him keep accusing you. Not a healthy marriage. Focus your attention to your child.

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It’s not your fault my ex husband was the exact same way ! Once I became an instructor I had to dress professional! Instead of saying hey you are beautiful today, it was always who are you trying to meet or sleep with today? It won’t get better you have to understand you have to do things for you but for you’re children. The right man will never accuse you of taking care of yourself or wanting you to better your life lady :kissing_heart:

Go to counseling yourself. You allow this behavior from him because of your own self esteem. Stand up for yourself…I always heard first one to accuse is first one guilty! Good luck only you can change yourself not him!!

I was once in a relationship like that. He ended being abusive. When a man would look or talk to me…. He would start hitting me. Get out before it’s too late. We didn’t have children together. Thank God

He won’t change, you really should try to get out of this relationship.

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Run as fast as you can & take your wee girl with you. Make a new life for u & her. He is not going to change. Life to short ‘life not a rehearsal we only have one chance at it’ blessings

Run an run fast…its going to get worse i promise you. Been there so i know what im talking about. Nobody is worth the heartache you have.

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Usually if they are so quick to accuse its bc they have a guilty conscience. Use this time to put you 1st.

No matter how much you love him you need to think of your child first. GET OUT NOW! Your child does not need to see this kind of behavior. You are teaching her to be a doormat.

You really need to get out of this relationshil for yourself and your daughter.This is really no good for all of you.Love has nothing to do with this.You’re just frightened to make the move.
There are safe places you can go and also get help and be safe.Do it now before something terrible happens.
Been there.Done that.Many years ago.

Get a job and leave him. Too controlling. You don’t want your little one to grow up thinking that’s ok for another person to treat them like that.

Leave him or you’ll live miserable for the rest of your life. I was married to a jealous man. I only lasted 2 years and I left him. If you can’t be yourself and he doesn’t trust you it’s not worth sticking around. Those men don’t change.

The only option is to leave that narcissist. I think you know that. If you still don’t leave him, then stop complaining and asking for advice on this forum. Move on.

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Sounds like he’s the one cheating. I lived through this for years and it finally came out that he cheated on me multiple times.

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Counseling or I’d be gone!! Is that how you want to live the rest of your life!! This is mental/emotional abuse!!

Run. Dont walk. Leave.
It’s abuse. And it grows and rears its ugly head. If you want to protect your daughter do the right thing. Give her a chance to grow around love because one day it may be her that he takes his jealousy out on. If you don’t change things, you will have no one to blame. Save your life…save your daughter’s

Do you have a job and a safe place for you and your child/children? And someone to watch your child/children when you are not available?

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Sometimes a person may drive you away not for someone else but crazy unreasonable jealousy and controlling behavior.

This is abuse, not love!
Get out of there, for your and your baby’s sake: it will only get worse.

Divorce is the only Way out. He will never change. His behavior runs in the bloodline. His cheating on you for long now

It takes two to make it work. Please be honest to yourself. Do you really love him when he treats you and your girl like this or is it really co-dependence?

He is manipulative and keeping you dependant on him so you can’t be free and he can get away with his abuse. I suspect he is a narcissist with insecurity issues. Get out and start over with your baby.

This is a very toxic relationship and I promise you he will be good for a while if you take home back then after one or two weeks he will revert back to his old ways and it gets worse over the years. If your strong enough to stay separated then do. You don’t have to divorce him just find you independence while your still young enough too.

Run!! Get out now it only gets worse. If there’s not no physical abuse yet it’s coming. Take your child and go quickly. I put up with this 15 year’s but mine was also very abusive physically and mentally!! We had 2 kids together too. When my son was 14 his dad knocked me thru a wall and he went to his bedroom and loaded his 12 gauge and came in front room and told his dad to get away from me and had I not grabbed the shotgun and pointed it upwards he would have killed his own dad. He blowed the entire front window out and roof. I loved him too but honey that’s NOT love. We divorced I always thought he would kill me but it’s been 11 years and we are better friends than husband and wife. I met another man and have been with him 10 years and honestly idk :woman_shrugging: why I ever settled for what I went thru. Sending prayers and much love :heart: to you and hoping you listen and get away from this person. :heart::heart:

Do not take your marriage advice from Facebook. Get a lawyer since you are already separated. You’ve made the hardest move. The rest is not easy but it’s easier.

He’s cheating which is why he is accusing you. Leave. Get a lawyer. Let her grow up without the negativity

The one thing we all have in commons is we agree when they are accusing you .they are the guilty ones happens every time.a very sad life is in store for you .eventually you will lose your self and be a pitiful scared to talk or look at anybody .and believe me when it’s over it takes a long time to get over and become yourself again .

I don’t understand when people are in a toxic relationship and the first thing they say I love him I was in a toxic relationship he tried to control me tell me what to do I was unhappy then I realize that he was happy with the situation and that did not set well for me so I left them I left everything behind just took my children and it hard but I manage because the only one that controls my life it’s me not somebody else you will never be happy you going to waste your youth and then it’s going to come regret

This is abuse and you should leave now for your daughters sake. Do you want her to grow up and be in the same kind of relationship? I would bet not. You need to end your marriage now.

Oh sweetheart. He sounds so controlling and demeaning. I would never tell you to divorce your husband, but it sure doesn’t sound like he even wants to meet you halfway. A relationship is not all one sided as he seems to believe it is. Just protect yourself, your child and your mental health.

He’s accusing you of actually what he’s doing why would you want to get stay in an abusive relationship get yourself a job just yourself an apartment and get the hell away from him

You really need to stay away from him. He will only get worse if he will not go to counseling with you as he doesn’t see anything wrong with himself. Please go talk to a lawyer. Let him know what is going no and he can petition the courts for you to have full care of your child while thigs are being figured out. With him being so jealous you don’t want him to have your child because you don’t know really what he will do to get you to come home. He really needs help before he hurts you or the child. With talking to the lawyer and getting the courts involved they can see you and your child is safe. Please seek help with this as I worry what could happen. Praying for you.

My husband was a very jealous man. Always accused me with no reasons. The last he threw his jealous act because a co worker gave me a ride home, I simply said I did nothing to get you riled up so it isnt my job to calm you down. I will never address your jealousy again. Not my issue. You need to figure it out. And he never ever had another jealous fit. Might work for you. Jealousy will ruin a marriage.

Get an attorney and move on, it will not change. You and your daughter deserve better.

Well , run don’t walk away from that relationship !
You are married to a classic narcissist.
He will NEVER admit that he is wrong and he will never change !!
A narcissist will only see one side , their side !!
He will show no emotion and he will always " bully " you into making believe that you are always the who does wrong !!
Beware though because a narcissist will change their mind to suit the mood and make you believe that you are the only woman on earth ! Manipulation is a game they know very well.
You may have to eventually leave the city where you live , because he will always be around and he will bad mouth you to everybody !!
Good luck.
My heart goes out to you because I can relate .