If you want the relationship, make the effort.
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My friends dad is the same way and has never really been in her life, never contacted her or anything. She was raised by a different guy from when she was a baby that she calls dad. Her bio dad has a wife that did some mean things to the kids growing up on the rare occasion my friend and her siblings would go see them and her bio dad always took his wife side over the kids. If it was anything like that, dont call him! I tell my friend all the time that it was never her job to contact him and ask him how hes doing. It’s never the kids job, no matter how grown you are now.
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Do we have the same father? Mine literally says the same exact thing.
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Sometimes, if something truly matters, you have to make a move. Swallow your pride and reach out. After that, consider it a closed case. You tried. If he doesn’t reciprocate, F him.
Whether you are grown up or have kids or even grandchildren doesn’t mean he isn’t your father anymore. He is your father and you have an obligation to call him, visit him and see about his well being. Thereafter, you could expect him to call you.
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He’s kind of right. All of you have different lives. Reach out, my parents both passed and I would loved for them to meet my kids. Communicate, but also be understanding. You all both lost important people. I’m sorry about that and pray for you all.
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You say your super busy part of your life to call your dad , it’s sounds like your super busy to answer your phone to him ,if he did ring , Just ring your dad ,as you know his not going to live long enough for your life to stop being busy
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He lived his life and is letting you live yours.
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Lmao what?! If you’re too busy to make a call or text, what would you do anyways if he did reach out? You’d be too busy to respond. So why should he try if you don’t?
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Your mom would be so proud of the woman and mother you’ve grown to be!
My dad is the same way and I said f it
Call your dad when it’s convenient for you. It could be that he knows how busy you all are and doesn’t want to intrude.
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I haven’t had anything to do with mine since I was 11 and I’m almost 30 now. He met my oldest daughter (she’s 5) when she was a baby and I had to go visit him for her to even see her (for the 2 minutes he even saw her)
I figure it’s his loss, not my kids if he doesn’t want anything to do with his only BLOOD grandkids. He’s been involved with his step grandkid her whole life. My kids aren’t missing out, he was never there for me as a kid 
If you call him a few times, he’ll most likely start calling you too. Speaking from part of a family literally Never talks unless I initiate conversation, that’s how I got them speaking more.
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Phone does indeed work both ways…You can reach out just as easily as he can.Busy or not if this bothers you as much as you say grow up and make the phone call…
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He’s right tho. You both need to make the effort
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I hear the same thing from my Daughter and grown Grandaughter…how busy they are with work, kids, life…blah blah blah. I get it life has a way of speeding by. I still work full time too and we live in different states but let me tell you….everyone can squeeze in 5 minutes to talk to their parents…especially with media as it is these days. Facebook, FaceTime, etc. I say the same thing to mine now…”phone works both ways” and I said the road runs both directions as far as visiting now too since I’m the only one making the effort. The 5 minutes you just spent on this site could have been 5 minutes spent talking to your Daddy. You said you “need” something from your Dad. Maybe a “just because” call once in awhile will help. Make the first move for it to be a weekly thing…as you know with your Mom, one day you’ll long for that conversation 
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Soooo…
You don’t call him.
You admit you don’t call him.
He’s obviously frustrated and has some feelings about that because he pointed it out.
You STILL aren’t calling him.
You are now mad at him for not calling you when you refuse to call him. Like…y’all had a conversation about it, he told you his feelings, and you disregarded them. Now you’re seriously mad at him?! Hell it sounds like you weren’t even calling after your mom died! I would be shitty too if my wife died and my kids were ‘too busy’ for me. Too busy for a phone call? That’s cold. Very very cold.
Nah man, just stop. This is 12 year old sh*t…
Sorry but he’s right and relationships work both ways as well. My dad calls at least once a week but I also text him and Invite him over and such. I never expect it to be just him making call and such. If you want the relationship you need to work for it to. The excuse that your “busy” is gross you weren’t too busy to write this post. That time could have been used to call your dad. Just saying. What you give energy to shows what’s important.
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Older people are like that. They always say they don’t want to be a bother. Take a hint. You’ve made them feel that way somewhere along the way. They were there for you growing up. They had patience for you. Try having some for them.
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What does it matter. If he wants to talk to you he will
In my experience they feel like they(parents) are bothering you because life is busy. They figure (and hope) you will call when you have the time to talk…I’ve had this same discussion with my parents and the above was the response. Please, put all of it aside and reach out because you never know when you won’t be able to.
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He’s right the phone works both ways. He could very well be feeling the same you are. Nothing will change unless you pick up the phone. x
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Well he’s right. Pick up the phone and call him if you want to talk to him.
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In the time it took you to make this post you could have called him.
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‘‘And I know that it does but we are all in the super busy part of life’’ Sounds pretty damn entitled to me. You could have called him during the time it took to write this instead of complaining about him not calling…
He spent his life looking after you. Time to pay back the favor and show some appreciation. The phone does work both ways. Show him you care. Not his place to call you anymore. He knows all about life. It’s your place to call him. And I’m willing to bet he’s waiting for it. F-it is a cop out and a the purest form of disrespect. Sounds to me like your the ones that don’t give a chit in shiola.
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The phone works both ways . Just cuz super busy does not matter
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It’s your job to show respect and call him now.
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You will never get from him what you need. Did you get emotion needs met from him growing up?
He will never have a conscience for how you feel.
I will never understand parents and grandparents like this. My kids deal with this also.
I am so sorry.
Remember:
This does not say anything about your value! This says A LOT about him though.
You are priceless. Never forget that.
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My dad remarried after my mom passed and he and his wife moved 10 hrs away. I called at least every other week just to make sure they were healthy and doing well. But when they would come into town and go see my brother and sister and not me, it hurt me deeply. I called and asked why he didn’t come see me, he said they were just passing thru and stopped in for lunch at my brothers. So I asked him to call and I would drive over and see him and his wife. Well it happened again and I was so sad and angry. I made him feel guilty. I cried and prayed and asked the Lord why my dad didn’t like me and my family. I want him to be happy in his final years. I know he loves me very much but felt he didn’t like me. I suddenly felt very comforted and realized that by making him feel guilty was not making him feel happy and if I loved him I should stop. I never did it again and never felt hurt again. I knew he loved me and was a wonderful father. I kept calling and seen him when possible. I’m glad he taught me to pray.
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He’s right… a jerk, but right. Phone does work both ways. … but with that attitude, do you really want to call him ???
Call him, make a habit out of it and he may start calling you… Have a set day idkk
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Actually sounds a little self serving to me. Your busy in your life so dad needs to run around after you? Nope. Sometimes we forget our parents have hopes, dreams and lives of their own even as they age. Their lives should not revolve around us forever.
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He’s right! Even if u r busy, u can call while sitting on a toilet and check in! Why do u expect him to do it and u not???!
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Maybe make an effort and call him once in awhile. Nobody is “busy” 24/7” . One day you’ll miss hearing his voice and seeing him. Make time for him. Maybe since y’all are grown up & etc he wants to live his life now. Hopefully things will get better for y’all.
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If he has always been this way… then that’s how he is gonna stay 
Will you be too busy to pick up the phone if he calls? If you want him part of your life call him. If you dont care than dont. Life’s too short to bicker about it!
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My family does that, we weren’t raised in such a family way and when the matriarch went it all went to shit. I started by leaving voicemails saying “hey it’s your favourite child call me back” and kept conversation neutral or positive. It took a while but there’s a lot more communication now seeing as we’re 14 hours driving away. Or make a group chat with the parents and siblings
Sure phones work both ways but should the child have to reach out to the parent first? My dad was gone my whole childhood pretty much he’s dead now but he had years to reach out to patch things up he chose not to 
Wow, don’t be an AH and just call your father.
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I have not spoken to my son in over 2 years - he got mad when I asked him to call maybe once a month. When we were still talking and I would call he would have to get off the phone because he was at some sport event with one of his/my grandkids. I also do not speak to my grandkids after I asked them to call to acknowledge gifts that I had sent to them, By the way then live a 7-8 hour drive away .
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Sometimes I think children forget that parents get older too, they raised us, isn’t it our turn to check on them now?
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Well don’t be mad but you do need to check up on your dad to see how he is doing so he can see he is loved. Yes, kids keep us busy but a phone call does not take that long to reach out…
He’s being the best dad he knows how to be …
Just love him and continue being happily busy with your lfe <3
It’s a guy thing, just do it!!
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Maybe the wife won’t let him you
Know how these step moms are
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I think family is so important I am 80 I call my daughters or they call me I spend time with em There is no excuse for not having contact with each other unless you hate each other
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If it is important to you, take 5 min and call him once a week. If he sees you trying to make an effort, maybe he will too. Even family relationships take work sometimes.
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Sometimes parents feel they spent a life raising their kids… and expect them to make plans in their busy lives to fit said parents into their lives.
Like some sort of show of respect thing.
I know a few like this.
The time spent writing this, could have been a phone call to him.
But he is right.
Phone works both ways.
And kids and sports aren’t an excuse for a one way road.
Not trying to be mean.
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Don’t ever get to busy for your parents, ever. That shit hurts.
Same here! My Dad pass last Year 2021. Didn’t go to his funeral either. It is what it is. But only you can make that decision at the end.
How about calling your dad. He’s your parent.
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The phone does work both ways. My dad never calls me either but he is happy when I call. It’s just how some people are.
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my kids have the same problem and it hurts them which hurts me he should be making more of an effort they are his kids he spends his life blaming everyone else for his problems and it doesn’t take responsibility for his actions and hurt and abuse he put his own kids through full of excuses
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But the phone does work two ways and if you have time to ask for advice then you have time to call 
It doesn’t matter if your super busy take 5 minutes also there is Bluetooth it’s this great thing that lets you Multi task while you talk 
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Set up a time to call him, maybe weekly. Make the effort and I bet he will do the same! Perhaps he feels left out, do you invite him to family functions? It’s always a good idea to examine the whole picture. Do you and your siblings acknowledge his wife? So many factors to consider. Just be sure you feel you ate doing your part and if not, step up and see what happens.
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I dont think it’s a guy thing my dad is always contacting me and getting ahold of me … and tries to see us constantly
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He scared y’all go ask for money.
If you too busy to call him, then you would be too busy to answer his call.
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Just lucky to still have your dad. Call him once a week. doesn’t matter for how long
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He sounds depressed. Think about this…all he’s known of the greater majority of his life is gone, Wife passed, kids grew up and on…it’s so hard this phase of life. CALL HIM any time you get. Who cares if he doesn’t call. Keep inviting, calling, checking on. Then, when it’s his time to pass on, you’ll know you did what you could to have him involved.
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Maybe he feels left out of your busy lives. What could it hurt to call?
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Coming from someone with 4 grown kids… I let them call me if they want to talk or need something. They all have kids now and are busy. I dont want to invade, take their time, or for them to feel like they’re obligated to talk to me. Especially if they don’t make any effort to call me. I still message them, ask them to dinner or if the kids can stay the weekend. But i let them answer on their own time. Maybe you should make an effort to keep him in your lives… maybe dinner once a month, or an invite to one of the kids ball games, or fishing, or just act like you give a damn. Kids have a way of forgetting who raised them, often forgetting other people have life happening also.
My father is the same way. We ended up taking a trip together and hashed out some stuff. Figured out we are both so stubborn that neither one of us wanted to be the first one to reach out. He promised to keep in touch, but really hasn’t. Neither have I. It is what it is.
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Busy life with your own children, work, whatever, CALL HIM… I can say, as an almost 70 year old Nana, I rarely hear from my kids… PERIOD… PPL are so self absorbed that they RARELY give a crap about their senior parents. I contacted my mom atleast once a week, usually more. He took time to love and raise you and yours the best he knew how … I"m quoting you …“Phone works both ways.” And I know that it does but we are all in the super busy part of life, raising babies and school and sports and all the things. He is not. We all lost our mom over 10 years ago and he is re-married and she’s fine but he is just so… Blah. It bothers all of us but at the same time, it’s like F it." All I can say is SHAME ON YOU… “F” it… U sound to be one of those selfish, self-absorbed of this generation. Get over yourself and contact your dad… He probably lost his mind when he lost your MOM… All I can say is shame on U and pick up the damn phone and act like a daughter… ! ! !
guess is that he was always like that…People don’t change untill and IF they want to If you don’t expect it, your feelings won’t be hurt…I find folks like that emotionally empty…
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Call him , call him, call him, call him. I’m not trying to be mean but, if you want to talk call when you want to talk. Don’t blame him for not calling when you are not calling him. Call him at lunch break, call him while you are with the kids, call him when you are sporting events with the kids, just call. If he doesn’t answer then leave a message, tell him you called to just to say I love you and I miss you. Just call while you can cause someday you won’t be able to. Cause Heaven doesn’t have phones. What ever you do just call. He too has a new life and trying to live the rest of his life as happily as he can just like you, but if you need advice call him.
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Same situation. My dad barely knows his grandkids. It’s sad. I had hoped he would be a better grandpa. He’s not interested at all.
he probley want you to call and check on him. I hear from my very busy children it only takes a few minutes
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I live in the exact same situation. I’ve learned to tell myself it’s his loss. I am his only daughter. He has 2 step daughters from his 2nd marriage who he is very involved with. I was told he does not communicate with any of the family anymore. So if he chooses his wife and her family over his blood family then so be it. Again. His loss . Not mine. My step father treats me like his own and loves and cares very much about me. Tells me he’s proud of me all the time. That’s my papa bear.
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I would say if you guys are all in the super busy part of life maybe he doesn’t want to disturb you when it’s not convenient. You should call when you have time, or maybe set up a weekly time you guys talk.
I agree with your dad if you too busy to make the call will you be too busy to answer the call…you talk about what he could and should do now let’s talk about what you could and should do… our parents took care and checks on us from the time we were born until we left home now it’s time to check on them and make sure they ok
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He’s right. Phone does work both ways. He’s probably thinking exactly the same about you.
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My mom’s just like that. Dad died 10 years ago. Now that she’s remarried, she doesn’t give a shit. I tried to talk to her about it and she played the victim so I had to just cut her out of my life completely. She’s not about to hurt my babies like she hurt me
He is rite the fone dose work both ways if u can find time to be on Facebook nd post this be able to even talk to ur siblings or anything else then u can make time to pick up the fone nd call ur dad nd if ur to busy to call him u will be to busy to answer the fone but if ur so busy u cant take 5 minutes to call him but u have time for social media then u need to fix ur priorities not him fix his
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My dad died 3 months after my oldest daughter was born.i was very close to him.my other 3 children didnt get to meet him.my mom was never the same and passed less than a decade later.there was no warning he went to work had a heart attack and bnever came home.life is so short and so very very precious.make the effort.takes 5 min to call and say i love you.
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Hmm 
I don’t know my daughters always have been involved since young age with grandparents & uncles. The bond is mutual. My daughters will get calls before I do. But, I know & keep tabs on them frequently. I love you is the strongest most uplifting words you can express it’s well worth it.
I read this and I could have actually written it myself . Same same same … I have just had to stop contact because this stresses me out so badly . Mine is in a completely different state and has come up here to visit his sister, did not tell me he was here , did not see me or my kids or my grandkids - And that was the last straw for me. Everything for him is one sided , And if neither of my parents can even care about how I am doing or can’t even message me or send me a birthday card on the day I was born , I’m just done.
I agree take the five minutes to call if he’s to stubborn to just do it it’s not worth loosing a relationship over. Once he gets to seeing your not going away he may actually pick up the phone.
Trust me when I say Put effort in even if you’re the only one putting in the effort because one day he too will be gone and at least you know you loved him until he was gone. Don’t have regrets!
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Make that reach on your own. My sisters and I lost my dad a few years ago, and it has torn my younger sisters up with regret. Wishing they tried harder to have a relationship with him. Now he’s gone. I was lucky to be very close to my dad, but I had to put in some work for it. I have no regrets. Hugs 
How about setting time aside each week to speak to him? Yes, life gets busy, but - speaking frankly, he won’t be around forever! And then you’ll regret not making that little bit of time. I speak to my dad every day, just 5 minutes, just to see how his day was. I have 3 children who all attend activities after school, a full time job and am a carer to my mum. However, a short trip in the car, stick the hands free on and have a little catch up. It probably took you longer to write this post than it would to drop him a text!
He may be very aware that you’re busy and doesn’t know when to call you and is waiting for you to reach out to him.
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He doesn’t want a relationship. His loss.
Some men just are like that You can’t force him to change.
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You want to hear from him… call him… seriously, take steps. Stop waiting on him to do the work for you.
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My mom and I talk every week but I initiate the calls bc my schedule with the kids is chaotic and she’s at home (on disability) otherwise we would probably miss each other or not get as much time. If it’s important to you then you make the call, a lot of dads are like this, mine included, but he calls/texts when it’s important. So if you want the relationship, make the call yourself.
Ummmmmm … you literally just said the phone works both ways but yet you in the same breath you acted like you were too busy raising babies sports school work and that stuff but you took the time to write this post so you can monitor it for advice when you literally could’ve picked up the phone and called him 
😵💫:exploding_head:
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If that’s his attitude towards his own kids then don’t bother with his petty ass. “Phone works both ways” but yet he isn’t making effort with you guys so??
im conmfused.
whats the difference with him calling you, and u answering and talking for however long, and the difference with you calling him, with the same outcome?
if ur too busy to call and talk to him, how can u be free enough to talk to him when he does call??
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Do what works for you but don’t do things you may regret when it is too late 
Depends how old you are. My daughter was done this way her whole life. It damages a child very bad. She is 19 now and She knows he is just not a dad. He can’t even be a good man much less a dad. Some people don’t love . They are broken. His loss .He should have seen you are hurting. Some of these comments are horrible. If you haven’t been thought it don’t give advice.