Here’s the problem…your choosing your boyfriend over your kids. As a kid that happened to (me & my brother) we never forget that shit and karma will come back on you down the line for it too. Smh…he sounds like a POS imo. Good luck
I didn’t get my drivers license until I was 23 bc I was afraid of driving but if you’re ok with driving them around and they contribute around the house don’t let your “boyfriend” force you to put them out before you and them are ready
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First of all never choose a man over your kids. Second. They are grown. Doesn’t mean kick them out when they aren’t ready. But you need to start preparing them to move out. Teach your daughter to drive. She needs to get a job so she can afford to move out.
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I started on my own at 15 and have made a good life
Bye bye bf! Your kids 100% should always always always be your priority. Kids never truly fend for themselves if you love them, and your bf sounds an a$$ to demand you let them go.
No child should be kicked out at 17 their kids kids for life not just till their legal and should come first no matter what that being said he sounds like a control freak , they should be doing their own stuff like cleaning and cooking etc other than that your doing nothing wrong she should have a job though
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I lived on my own since 15 years old it was the hardest thing to do and I wouldn’t EVER pressure my daughter to leave the house when she’s older. She’s my blood. I love her and want her to do well in life. If that means she wants to stay with me until she’s 20, 30, 40 or however old. I will let her stay until she is ready. Your kids come FIRST no matter how old they are
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This may be an unpopular opinion, but the longer you enable your kids, the longer they will not grow into adulthood. If they still live at home at 21 and are not going to school and/or have a job, how are they growing and learning how to take care of themselves and eventually their own family one day? You don’t have to have a license to begin a career or other avenue - you may just have to be more creative on how to get to places. It might be time to start setting stretch goals - paying rent, paying for a cell phone, etc… I’m personally thankfully my parents encouraged me to be independent on a gradual schedule which sounds like how your boyfriend raised his children.
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Sounds like agoraphobia. Have check her mental health. Her fear is valid.
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I’m 36 years old and scared to get on the highway after a bad accident I had in my 20s. She is not comfortable. Get her a driver instructor and get rid of that bf
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It doesn’t matter how old your babies are you are their mom if the girl can’t drive take her to a empty parking lot an teach her don’t ever let a man tell you it’s time to kick your kids out if they are contributing to your house let them stay again I say those are your babies what you gonna do when you get old an need help who will be there that man or your babies
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He’s no good for you or for your children, dump him & be there for your kids. They sound like good kids who just need help. And he doesn’t sound very much like a father. He should help & be there for both you & your kids. Not create a burden.
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They will ALWAYS be your kids.
Don’t you dare chose this random ass man over your daughter. He KICKED his kids out at 17? Before they can even legally get an apartment without being emancipated. What did they do to justify being kicked out before they are legally adults?
He doesn’t sound like a prize. That’s all I’m saying.
Omg the fact that your boyfriend wants you to kick out your daughter is enough to kick him out! I didn’t even get passed that part! Major red flag!!
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Your children come first. Driving is serious, it may cause her alot of anxiety which puts not only her but others in danger as well. He needs to chill out find them jobs that work around your schedule and take them back and forth if not call uber. Sounds like your boyfriend is a little controlling.
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Your kids are always going to be your kids. Don’t let this knob get in between you. You are more aware of what your kids need. Does it not make you a little concerned that he kicked his out at 17?
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Are you cottling your adult kids so you are not alone??? Is that what I just read??? Lol
So i think your daughters fear of driving depends on something, has she ever been in an accident that she would remember?
The kids need some responsibility, as if she’s 21 and not working she’s never going to be able to provide for herself. Yes they do household chores, but they don’t pay any of their own bills/expenses (phones, subscriptions, clothing, etc)
The boyfriend I’d say needs to go, my kids come first 110%, not hesitation there.
Dont pick your man over your children. Yourd keeping your kids safe. 21 is still wildly young during this time in life. There’s a “pandemic” so say that.
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Your children always come first.
Also have your daughter assessed for mental health issues, If it truly is a real fear then a mental health professional will be able to help her work through it and hopefully be driving on her own.
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Your kids come before your bf. If he is making these ultimatums then maybe he is the one who needs to go. It isn’t his concern or job to parent your kids. You can’t do what on your own again? Raise your kids? They are raised and you can’t force someone into that role especially when they don’t belong there.
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Public transportation
I been working since I was 14
My almost 40 year old sister in law refuses to drive. My brother bought her a car, taught her to drive, took her to get her license. She still refuses to drive herself anywhere. She EXPECTS people to give her a ride, DEMANDS my brother drive her everywhere, and pays THOUSANDS on Uber/Lyft ride fares.
Your daughter is 21. Time to grow up and find out there are times nobody will come to save you and you gotta rescue yourself. Stop coddling her.
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Public transportation? I can’t drive and I’m 46. (Medical reasons, not allowed). But I still have a family to provide for. Right now I’m close enough to walk but there are such things as busses.
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Your kids come first
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Tell your daughter to find a friend to drive her around lol she’s 21, there’s literally no option other than get your own car or use public transportation 
Tbh I don’t have my license & don’t think I will well i have my g1 went for my g2 & ended up failing i got bad anxiety I had a bad instructor who made my anxiety worse
I am a mother of 5 & yes it would be sooo much easier for me but I have a bad! Phobia of driving & i don’t think I’ll ever get over it as much as I want Too drive I just can’t bring myself too do it.
P.s you’re boyfriend shouldn’t be telling you when too kick you’re kid out.
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What a shitty place to be; but do not pick a man over your kids! I wouldn’t talk to you either if I was in your daughters shoes. Keep your kids safe.
There’s also public transportation teach them to use it.
She is 21. She has to learn to be an adult. And that means she needs a job and has to find a way. Either public transportation, cabs, Uber, something. Are you going to drive her around her whole life? Yes she is still your baby but she isn’t a baby anymore. If she gets a job she can pay for her own transportation to and from. Your setting her up for failure. Because if your not around she has no one to help her. She needs to learn to do these things on her own now
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Your children come first always. No man is worth losing your kids. I just left an 11 year relationship because of this. Yes it will be hard, painful. But in the end your children will be grateful and know you are always there for them. 
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Your BF gotta go because you are a PARENT FOR LIFE.
There has to be a legit reason that she doesn’t want to drive, how did she make it to 21 without your figuring it out? Did someone die in a car?
Was she in an accident?
If she has anxiety why aren’t you getting her professional help?
If she just does chores and stays in her room it seems like she is pulling her weight by being your maid and hiding in her room.
Your BF gotta go, but so do you. Every kid wants to drive, except ones with a REASON.
Figure it out.
Have her go live with another family member cause obviously y’all aren’t treating her with love and respect.
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I’m 40, I know how to drive but I can’t because of severe anxiety. This is really not something to play with, she can cause accidents, I know for a fact when I’m behind the wheel and it’s not even busy and cars gets to close to me I panic immediately and just freeze, there for I don’t have a license and accepted the fact that I will never be able to drive.
Please help her.
If she is able to overcome the fear and she knows she’s ready let her be, she will let you know, but accept the fact it may never happen.
If you boyfriend don’t understand he should rather leave.
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Your daughter obviously has some major crippling anxiety. The fact that this is even a question for you makes me think they have probably been thru many failed relationships with u. Your kids come first. They are legally adults now and I’m not sure if you’re capable of turning things around if u still put a man at the top.
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What happens to her if you were gone tomorrow? You aren’t doing her any favors by enabling her. It’s time to grow up.
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Your bf sound like a d!ck, I’d kick him out before my kids
Your kids should always come before a man. He doesn’t sound like much of a man to me anyways with that behavior. If they aren’t bothering anyone and doing for themselves, he shouldn’t care. Not his kids, not his business. If he doesn’t like it he can leave. But I think you should break up with him and kick him out anyways. That’s what I would do 
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I dont care how old your kids are…you do whats right by them over any man. Not everyone can learn to drive . Public transport is always an option if available to save you the journeys and really if she’s fit she should be working
Kicking your kids out of their home is not good parenting imo. He needs to go or grow up
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Can’t she use public transportation like the city bus?
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I’m 31. I don’t have my license. Just got my permit last year. I was in a wreck a few years back that caused me not to want to drive and I have severe anxiety so I don’t drive alot.
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Kids before anyone, why is this even a question
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Sounds like you need to tell your boyfriend to stfu… your kids come before any man
Kids can’t afford to live on there own anymore as such a young age. Not unless they have like 5 roommates, and that’s not fair to them. Let her stay home she’s still your baby.
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Have her go to therapy, see what her issue with driving is.
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Your kids come first. Before anyone else and above anyone else. Period!
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He sounds like a big man baby. You don’t choose anyone over your kids.
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Tbh your bf can get the eff on. No way I’m kicking my kids out until they ready. Parenting don’t stop at 18 I’m sorry. What he did with his kids is his business. He sound like he don’t want her there.
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Do the kids actually have anxiety or fears? Or have they never had to learn because you baby them? Bf can stfu on kicking YOUR kids out. But he’s right about the driving. Time for them to grown up
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You don’t stop being a mother at 18 or a certain age. Each kid does things differently and if your bf wants them out then he can leave their house 
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Wow!! NoOoooo words he ’ kicked his kids out at 17’ which he SHOULD have been held accountable for 
Sorry NOT sorry if you put your kids out unprepared we the tax payers get to subsidize them OR they become homeless. Neither should be an option when they’re under 18 an should still be the responsibility of the parents. That tells me EVERYTHING I need to know. NEVER,never,never choose a man over your kids I promise you, you will regret it. Stop doing the female version of SIMPING that’s your child no matter the age standup for yourself and your kid wtf. Sounds like anxiety issues probably from living with your man.
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My mom is 59 years old and has never driven. My brother in law is 39 and has never driven. My sons aunt is 28 and has never driven. A DL is not required to have a job. She’s 21 and should already be working. Not having a DL is absolutely no excuse. My mom gets a ride from my dad but used to take the bus when it went to her job. My brother in law walks to work if my sister is busy. My sons aunt used to get a ride before she started working from home. My 17 year old son has had a job for almost 3 years and has just started saving for a car, he’s got $400 saved already. There’s nothing wrong with giving her a ride to work until she learns to drive or when your busy she can take the bus. No excuses. Your boyfriend is a horrible person.
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Tf are u still with him for? It’s not the kids that are the problem, it’s him.
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Get her help overcoming her fears and fuck that dude. You CAN do it alone.
Your man sounds like a Narcissist btw:person_shrugging: he’s giving you the cold shoulder over your daughter?? And something you cannot control. 
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If your daughter isn’t comfortable driving why force the issue? Last time I checked having a license isn’t mandatory. It is a privilege. There are enough people licensed to drive that outright should have their license ripped up in their face and used as a fire starter. Your man has issues, who forces their kids to leave home at 17yrs old? If that’s his view on how parenting should be done, maybe you should relieve yourself of his drama.
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Your bf sounds like trash
He kicked his out at 17? They are minors at the age still…what 17 yr old can live on their own with the way the world is today. He sounds like a real winner 
I definitely wouldn’t be taking parenting advice from him.
I’d first address your daughter’s fears and try to get her more comfortable with driving. Also, tell her she has to be more productive and find some sort of work or school, not just sit in her room but I’d never kick her out. My kids are welcome to be home as long as they need, but they have to be productive.
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He kicked his own kids out at 17 … and you thought he wouldn’t do the same to yours? 
If he kicked his own kids out at 17, sounds like he wants to be alone and now your kids are the problem Parenting doesn’t stop at 18, as long as kids are working or going to school, we need to help them out. You need to put your foot down and tell him your kids will always have their momma.
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At the age of 21 your daughter should be contributing if still living at home. You don’t just kick your kids out but they also need to learn to be adults. If she can’t drive she needs to explore other options bus, bike, carpooling apps. If your willing to drive her great. The bf sounds like an ass. Like I said as long as your daughter is doing her part to work and contribute and save she is fine living at home until she has money saved and can be successful.
That last sentence says a lot. Shouldn’t be basing your decisions when it comes too YOUR children on him POSSIBLY sticking around 
He wants you to ABANDON your children like he did to his. I say get rid of him instead.
He doesn’t respect you or his kids. He’s manipulative and toxic.
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Umm your bf sounds like a real piece of 
!!! 17 is still a minor!!! If you choose him over YOUR daughter you obviously love 
more than her! 
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There is no way I would put my kids out. They can live with me forever. I don’t care what my husband or anyone else has to say. Also driving really isn’t a big deal. My grandma lived to be n her 80s and never had a license. She had a husband and 3 kids. I also have a friend in her 40s. She use to drive but she hit a mailbox once and it scared her so bad she hasn’t drove since. She has a husband and a job. We and her husband take her everywhere and if we can’t she uses things like door dash and Uber eats. Because ur daughter is 21 yrs old doesn’t mean she HAS to have a driver license.
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Tell him to leave your child comes first. He kicked his kids out at 17:person_facepalming:
he sounds like a real prize. And she can get to work if she wants to work she will. There are also plenty of work from home jobs right now.
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Throw that whole man in the dumpster and walk away!! Lol 
absolutely no man will ever get in between my children and me!! I’d rather be a lonely ole lady with kids then have some boyfriend who forced me to choose! honestly tho…You should always choose your OWN children! Yes, there is a time where your children need to grow up and do their own thing but 17!???
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I have SEVERE anxiety…I have 7 kids and I am 34 and NEVER learned to drive, no car no license…I am trying now but hard to find someone to teach me. It isn’t easy and as long as the kids ain’t causing trouble what is the harm in letting them stay and helping them out??
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I had such bad anxiety I had to go to the 3 day long drivers ed school.
Idk she seems a bit old for that but that’s just me,maybe you’re enabling your own daughter to be a bit useless…and kicking his kids out at 17? Did they already know how to drive and have their own job? Idk we need more context, this whole post is vague
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OUT!!! Get RID OF That Bastard!!!
As someone who suffers from anxiety and spent 3 years unable to drive when I was your daughters age my husband and mom drove me everywhere it was the support I needed to heal driving is scary!
I’m less concerned over BF but more concerned for your daughters mental health. How is she planning to support herself. Is she just going to hide in her room and never support herself or live life? Your BF is gross but seriously worried about her mental health if her life is hiding in her room all day.
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*** Unpopular Opinion coming up***
So because she can’t drive she can’t work??? Never heard of public transport!!! Sounds like she’s lazy n finding excuses not to work… but hey, if your gonna fund her while she sits in her room all day then why would she choose to work and make a contribution 
I’d b annoyed too !
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Sounds like you’re more worried about having man than taking care of your kids to me
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Men come and go, but they will always be your children !! Take care of daughter, no matter age. Sounds like good girl, just issues, tell him go, she stays. Never put a man over your children, get her help, she needs you.
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Boyfriend wants her to go Lmao 
I know what I’d be doing and it wouldn’t be her bags I’d be packing
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Choose your child. Always.
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She needs to learn how to drive for her own independence and work. Both kids should be working or in school.
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I may have an unpopular opinion, but here it goes.
My mom never kicked us out and she always always always welcomed us back anytime. We’re family. I have opened my home now too to our family that needs help.
They are your children. Take care of them. It’s a scary world out there. I learned it the hard way by wanting out.
I have relatives in their 20’s that don’t drive yet because of anxiety!
Your bf can go kick rocks. I feel back for his kids. Parents are supposed to have their childrens back at any age and time (obviously there’s the children that do drugs and other things then that’s different) specially when you’re saying they are good kids!
I’d never kick my son out. Ever.
18 May be “legal” adult age but my goodness it isn’t “I’m ready for the world” age!
Be patient. Love them. Be there for them. And find a new bf! Your kids need you
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Nobody is EVER going to tell me what to do with my kids.
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You don’t need a license or car to get by I’m 22 and have been living in my own since 16. I don’t have my license and I never plan to get it.
Personally I wouldn’t let any man tell me what to do with my kids. My kids are welcome to live at home for as long as they need and can always move back in when times are hard (break ups, lost job etc)
Any man who ask you to put him over your kids, needs to go.
You do need to seek help for your daughter and not enable them though.
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Im 37, my mom lives 500 miles away but still makes time to take my call when I’m having a panic attack while driving. I know she isn’t with me physically but just talking to my mom helps. Throw that asshat to the curb and continue being there for your children as a mother should
They are your kids, you stop when YOU decide it’s enough not because man tells you too. Having a fear and being lazy are SO different. No one better NEVER ask me to put them above my child.
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Throw that “man” out! Who the hell throws their 17 year old kid out on the street? That’s horrible!
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It doesn’t sound like he is very supportive. And how would he have the right to kick out your kids. This guy sounds like he has mental problems. Get rid of him.
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What in the heck is wrong with you!!! Your issue is the bf! Your kids come first. ALWAYS. If your really questioning this you
Lost yourself a long time ago.
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What should you do about your daughter?? You support her and guide her and keep her in your protection until she can do it on her own, 21 year olds are just barely starting out in their adult life.
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I didn’t get my license until I was 26 and realized it just needed to happen I had two kids and it was just time
Okay I understand, the guy sounds like a hard ass to me too but can I just want to know if help is being sought for the daughter. I mean at least a counselor or therapist
I’d chose my child. My daughter is 19 and does school full-time. I don’t force her to work. The day she drops school is the day she pays bills. No car or car, she can walk to work.
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Without a job because she has no license how does he expect her to financially afford a car, they are a luxury not everyone can afford (petrol, servincing, insurance ect) as well as her anxiety about it she shouldn’t be forced to be out of home because of that. If public transport is an option maybe try going with her on local routes so she learns to get around a little more independently. We don’t have children to just at the age of 18 drop them on their ass and say “goodluck… cya” he’s very wrong and not in the place to force your hand
Parenting isnt just 18 year commitment your a parent for life no matter how old they are. I didnt drive until i was 21/22 because i was scared. I eventually suxked it up and got professional lessons and now i love driving! Give her time and tell him if he doesnt like your parenting he knows where the door is… dont let anyone tell you how to parent.
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Tell him to F off and have a nice movie night with your daughter 
if he really loves you he won’t mind what comes with you 
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Your children should always be your number one!!! But also he is right too she should be working at least if not driving bit it is none of his business if she is still at home with you… yes she needs to step up but she sure as shit does not to move out sounds like she is nowhere near ready for the real world on her own but Mama that’s your job to get her ready to teach her and I feel like your leaving it too late
#kickhimout
Always choose your children over other people
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Your adult children should have been raised to been able to take care of themselves and function in the world…it’s your job as the mom to raise them to function in the world when they are adults…since you seemed to have failed that… continue to be a mother until your children can function…tell your daughter she has to suck it up and learn to be a grown women and work and drive if driving isn’t for her…then she needs a decent job to pay for her Uber back n forth…your son the same…it’s your job to raise them…not do for them…it’s also your job to be a mother…tell your bf to shove it where the sun don’t shine that you need to be a mother…tell him to get out or get you n your kids out don’t pick a man over your kids …do your job as a parent and teach your children how to function in the world… you don’t kick your kids out for not being grown and independent enough esp if you haven’t done your job in teaching them the things they need to be adults…the fact you would consider putting your kids out beacuse they aren’t independent and bug your bf is just sad… .they aren’t the people they could be because they weren’t ever made to be…make it happen…if your daughter is 21… She should be either working full time or be in school full time of half n half …she should be able to drive herself to and from work and she should be able to help around the house and contribute room and board OR be putting money aside for her own car and place…I was paying my own phone bill…my own insurance and room and board and bought my own personal needs…shampoo,razors, deodorant at 18…I worked 2 jobs…your 18 yr old same thing he should be in school or working…also driving,helping with house chores and room and board…be realistic in the amount but they are adults and need to know what adults do…you should be doing your job as a mother… before kicking them out to fend for themselves cuz some dude your screwing says so…screw him he comes way way way after you job as a mother…raise ya kids…that simple…they shouldn’t be grown and unaware or unable to get things done…get it together mom and do your job
First of all I would definitely get rid of that a hole but also honestly this is ridiculous you are babying her she’s 21 she should be paying for ubers / lyfts with the money she earns at her job that’s part of being an adult or she should take the bus only then will she realize how much she truly needs to learn to drive and it will motivate her
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Your BF is 
. Get rid of him.
As for your kids, have you wondered why they don’t want to drive? She said she’s afraid, you can’t make her drive if she’s afraid. Just because your bf kicked his kids out at 17, doesn’t mean you should. Also, how is his relationship with his kids? I bet he’s Father of the Year.
Tell your daughter that she needs to contribute to the household or consider moving out on her own. Tell her that she will need to pay for ride sharing services or the bus if she wants to go somewhere and that means she needs to have a job.
I’m trying to teach my daughter how to cook a turkey for Thanksgiving cause I’m not gonna be around forever and she has 4 kids at some point she’s gonna have to take over, I learned from my mother