I’m 36 with a 17 year old son, I would die a little inside if he showed up with a woman my age when he turned 18. That being said, I’d remain neutral and love and support him as best I could because my relationship with him is ultimately more important than anything else.
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Nothing but cry! He’s grown and probably wont listen to what you have to say at that age. I do feel where you are coming from but hey… maybe it will work between the 2
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I was 19 and my husband 36 when we met. 13 years later were married and have a 4 yo. 
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How is she using him?Other than for $%^…But he’s 18 so…not much you can do
He’s 18, as an adult he can make his own decisions and a lot of times you just have to sit back and hope things won’t get too ugly, and be there for him if things go south with this relationship. Mother’s will always want to protect their children no matter how old they get, so it’s hard to watch them put themselves in certain situations and relationships that you know aren’t the best. Just make sure she isn’t taking advantage of his kindness. Most relationships with fairly large age gaps don’t last long because the maturity level is so different between the 2 people. It probably won’t last.
It very much seems like you have a problem with her age… and to be honest…
I would too…
nah F that… he is doing Nothing wrong… BUT she is… and she knows this…
SHE IS A pedophile… 
She is disgusting 
For everyone that’s says I’m wrong… flip it around…
A bearly 18 girl… with a 37yr man…
Saying 18 is an adult??? Is dumb… 18 is STILL a teenager… eighteen… 
she’s a pedophile…
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Unfortunately, because he’s 18 you can’t really influence too much who he dates, no matter how old she is. It does make me wonder what a 37-year-old woman sees in an 18 year old young man though? Besides the obvious, sex, I’m not sure what common interest they would really share
Just got a good lay after he gets a lady to marry,birth control???
Dont comment on his significant other if you dont like her and kindly remind him he always has a safe place at your home if he needs it regardless of the situation. let him know that you respect him and are there for him if he needs you. But, dont try to parent him, it will push him farther away.
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I could definitely understand your concerns. I’m 37 and my husband is 28. Wtbs yea keep an open mind but DO NOT hesitate to invite her over and talk with them! My husband’s family was concerned when we got together and I respected that fully because I love him. It could also just be a fling that he’s taking more seriously than he should. Pay attention. With us, we have one daughter, own our home that we live in, we both work full time and work hard for EACH OTHER. Let him think about how she feels about having children, how her age will diminish before his, do keep an open mind but don’t hesitate to test her!
best of luck
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You could offer dating advice, but I’d let him be an adult and come to his own decisions and form what her intentions are, until they are clearly visible to everyone (i.e. she openly expresses/shows her intentions).
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My son is dating a 39yr old, he will be 22 in a few days. He is very immature not sure how this will work out. They have been together a year now. He moved to Ohio with her. Just want him to be healthy and happy and he seems to be, all that matters!
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He’s 18! Barely legal 
Almost like child abuse.
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As someone who is 35 I cannot imagine hanging out with a 18 year old especially date one. Wtf is wrong with her?!
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It’s okay momma! I would bring it up casually in conversation.
I know you love your son, but you’re going to have to let him learn life lessons on his own. You should try to give it a chance like he is. You never know.
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Hes 18 leave him alone.
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Damn ! Same age difference as me and my son . Na sorry a bit weird when he’s still a teenager.
I wouldn’t be happy about it either, and if your son is still living under your roof you have every right to express your feelings about the situation.
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I wouldn’t be happy about it either, and if your son is still living under your roof you have every right to express your feelings about the situation.
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Some women in their late thirty, forty are beautiful, and you can see why a young man would fall for them .
I don’t know why any women at that age would want a 18 year old , beside lots of you know what, you have to let him live his life ,just hope he doesn’t get her pregnant , until he’s at least 25 ,he might meet someone in his own age group by then, or it could work out , who knows ,no good stressing yourself out about it ,but I wouldn’t like it Either
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You do nothing. It’s his life and he needs to live it and figure stuff out for himself.
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My husband of 17yrs is 18 yrs older, age is literally just a number
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Nothing you CAN do.
Theyre both adults.
And, if you try to get between them, you might lose out on time with your son.
There comes a point where u have to just trust your kid will make the right decision and stay tf out of it.
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I would not be ok with a 37 year old dating my 18 year old son. NOPE!
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He can’t even get into a bar. What do they really have in common? I wouldn’t be okay with this until he’s older and more matured. maybe try talking to him about his future. Does he want kids? A house? Etc and see if their long term values Line up. But Also is he living with you or on his own? Paying his own bills?
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I would not feel comfortable or happy that my teenager is dating a middle aged woman. It’s totally inappropriate and concerning. You can only express how you feel and why and hell have to make his own choice
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You have to let him make his own mistakes. It’s harsh. But that’s how we learn. If this is a mistake maybe he will learn before the next bigger mistake comes along. Just be there for him through thick or thin.
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Nothing not a thing, nada! It will make worse!!! Will fizzle out….plus there is nothing U can do(legally)
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Eww! Gross as a 30yo woman I can’t understand how any fully grown woman can get with a child (whether hes considered an adult legally or not his prefrontal cortex and maturity has years of growth and development yet to happen which continues until about 25)
She’s literally old enough to be his mother.
After the age of 25 I don’t have issues with such a big age gap as your fully developed mentally (or as fully developed as your going to get) but a almost 40 year old dating a teen is 
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I’m 39 and my son is 18. I think that’s a little weird! Js…
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It seems you do have a problem with her age, your title question is “what do I do about my son dating an older woman” not “I believe the woman my son is dating is using him”.
As someone who is 39 and I have a 19 year old son, and a 17 year old son I can’t ever imagine finding anyone that young attractive. We are just NOT on the same wavelength lol
You said your concern is that she is using him but gave no reason or even an example as to why. Without a valid explanation it seems like your issue is just the age and there’s nothing you can do about that. If she actually is using him then that would be different and you could bring up your concerns, with clear and valid explanations gently, but still that’s all you could do.
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I’m 39 and my son is 18 I do not think in fact I know I would not like my son dating someone so close to my age and she’s not some girl he is dating it’s a while grown ass women
Even though hes 18 She has issues…thats a bit extreme. But nothing you can do to be honest. Hes 18.
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I have a son that also likes older women i. noticed even when he was young he was interested in older women now that he is of age he is dating a woman that’s 42 years old that’s older then me !!! It had me upset at first but let me tell you i have never seen him this happy with any other female that was around his age ! Sometimes as mothers we need to step back and let our kids do what makes them happy and no matter what the age is if they are happy and being treated the way they should be support the relationship don’t make him feel bad for it
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There is something wrong with her. She’s going after a young nieve boy
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He’s 18. He’s an adult. If age is the only issue it’s not an issue.
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You have every right to question it but at the end of the day he’s 18 there’s little you could HONESTLY dp
This 37 year old woman started dating a boy who was just 17 years old, 2 months prior 
Come on… roles reversed we would call it a 
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Oh man, that’s just wrong lol. I’m 36 and can’t even imagine dating that much of an age difference.
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I don’t agree with it whatsoever. Too much of an age gap in my opinion. But there isn’t much you can do really. He’s a legal adult. If you try to get between it, your efforts may backfire and cause a rift. Hopefully its just a case of “Mrs Robinson” and it’ll run its course.
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Isn’t this called grooming?? Totally inappropriate.
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Something isn’t right with a grown woman wanting an 18 year old child
But he is also 18 and it’s his choice.
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You may not agree… But you need to at least act like you do. Whats the alternative? A. Youll be there for him if something happens. And B. If you dont like it and voice your concern your gonna push him away… If try to look at it from a different perspective. The last thing you want is to push him away and the only life advice is what he gets from her… I would not like it if i was in your shoes… (My son is gonna be 18 in a few months)
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Meet her and have a conversation. It’s a red flag. Unfortunately, your son is of age and can do whatever he wants to do.
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I wouldn’t be happy about it. but at the same time I would Want to get to know her so I Know what her heart is in it for haha
Ask him how he’d feel if you brought home a 18 year old “boyfriend”
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He’s an adult. Let him make his own decisions.
That’s is sick if y ask me! I wouldn’t be happy what if she falls pregnant x
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Sorry but at 18 legally you can’t do anything about it. He’s 18 and making his own choices. You can’t dictate his life and relationships. As his mom yes it may be weird but if you try to stop him he will only hate you and never want to be in your life. Our job as parents when our kids turn into adults isn’t to tell them what to do…we have to shift gears and be there for them and let them make their own choices. Not to say we have to like everything they do but we can’t tell them what to do, only give advice and hope for the best. Don’t be a dictator be there to listen and give feedback and even if you don’t like their choices remember it is their life and they have to live it their way.
Remind him that when he’s 10 years older, she will be too and that physically she will not be able to have the same energy for him like she once had. It’s then he’ll need to understand that when she starts to go downhill, he’s still going uphill and will need someone to keep up with him mentally, physically and sexually.
Also, she could be his mom. Gross.
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Super weird - I would not be ok with that- but depending on your kid, it could just push him to be more secretive
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37!!! Oh hell no, it’s absolutely sickening!!! Predator
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My daughter is 32 her husband is 61 they have been together 10/11 years they have 2 children, it’s there lives not mine not my place to get involved, I’ve learnt just to be there to pick up the pieces
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My husbands mother married a kid the same age as her son 
they’ve been together a long time now though. So I don’t think there’s much you can do.
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I’m 38 years old & my oldest son is 21. With that said I don’t know how a 38 year old woman could even be attractive to someone that young (at least I couldn’t knowing I’m old enough to be his Mom), I don’t know what they could possibly have in common either. I think it’s okay for a big age gap say for instance your son is older like 30, etc. & she’s 10 or 20 years older etc but at 18 he is still a kid himself… Some things r just not okay & this is 1 of them but it’s not your son’s fault at 18 he is still a child. It is 100% that woman fault he is dating & she should know better! With that said I honestly don’t think there is much you can do being he is 18. You could always say my house, my rules but I probably wouldn’t because at that age what you try to keep them from they tend to push further for it. I would just nicely explain to him you are very worried, concerned & explain why & tell him that regardless you are there for him but your going to trust him on this one. Then keep praying & hoping for the best! Best of luck Momma.
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Ask her, talk to her, get to know her
Then talk to them
You’ll know what you will feel inside
Allow them to enjoy the time together and maybe you can join them for outings
Don’t be too judgemental
I don’t know your son
But maybe he’s to mature for girls his age so you just need to communicate
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Um….I would have a huge problem with this. I’m 37 and my oldest child will be 18 in a few months. In my opinion this is disgusting. She sounds like a predator. What does a women who is almost 20 years older want with, essentially, a child???
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You need to let him grow up i know as a mom you want to protect him from everything and everyone. But until she proves to be a bad person i would just keep and eye on him. The whole cougar thing is real i get 20 year old dm me and im 46 . But I’m too self conscious to date someone old enough to be my child. So keep your eyes open and if he asks your opinion just be honest.
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If a man does this, it’s considered grooming and predatory.
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I’d wonder what on Earth a woman of that age sees in and wants with an 18 year old. It’s just as weird as 40 year old men dating 18 year old girls. I’m not sure there is anything much you can do about it, but I 100% understand your concern. She is old enough to be his mother. That’s just not right.
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Age gap relationships are one thing but it’s a lot different when he’s 18 and still barely an adult. I personally find the behavior grooming like since he hasn’t even really got to experience being an adult on His own yet But at the same time you can’t control it and you do not want to push them away so I would just try to start by getting to know her and make sure she is safe for him to be around
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He is an adult. You may very well voice your opinion in a respectful manner but you have to let him make adult decisions for himself now. Let him know that there will always be consequences for bad decisions so he should try his best to make good ones. Explain to him that he needs to always be vigilant and “trust” is earned. All we can do is try to teach them right, warn them that people are shady, sneaky and disgusting and tell them this worlds hard truths. Then, we pray that they’ll make good decisions and won’t let people take advantage of them. It’s hard and there will be bad decisions made with bad consequences but that’s how we grow in life. It’s oh, so rewarding when you see your parenting paying off.
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Love is love, no matter age or sex, sometimes the one that’s meant for us isn’t what you’d expect. I’m not saying that’s case by any means, but sometimes it’s the ones you’d least expect who truly makes you happy. Try to get to know her a little more. I’m also one of those kindhearted people that gets used a lot, but there are good people out there that won’t use you. It took me a very long time to find a genuine kind hearted man. I had started to believe there really were no good people left in this world until I found him, and now I have an amazing loving person in my life whose entire family has also been nothing but kind, caring, and generous with me and my son. They’ve accepted my son and I basically as one of their own from the start even though I’m quite shy and was not very social with them for a while as I am not the most trusting person due to having been used so much in the past, but they’ve all been so good to me and after seeing that they wanted to get to know me, not just for their son’s sake but to actually want to know me too, it made me realize there are still some good people out there in this world. Sometimes, it really does help to know that someone wants to get to know you. And it also helps you and your son if you try to get to know her better too, you’ll see whether her intentions are good or not fairly quick when you try to get to know someone for who they really are.
My fiancé was 20(almost 21)when I started dating him and I was 26-almost 27. We worked together and he knew I had two kids and was very persistent. A lot of people in these comments are saying this woman is wrong or grooming but how do we know he wasn’t the one who pursued her? Have a conversation with her. His mom had her reservations about me and here we are almost 8 years later we own our own cars, we just bought our own home, we both have great jobs and we are happy. Honestly sometimes an age gap isn’t always a bad thing. Especially the way people are with dating now.
With that being said-he’s 18 there’s nothing you can do but be his mom and love him. Try to be open about his relationship because she may be a nice person and end up being the best thing to happen to your son.
Just because it is technically legal doesn’t make it right. I’d be on high alert. You’re right not to push him away. Definitely be there for him right now!
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He’s only young, it probably won’t last he might want to eventually move on, might just be a in the moment thing. Nothing you can do just sit back and wait it out.
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And all these people on here calling her a predator because she’s older. What if he seeked her out BECAUSE she older. A lot of 18 year old Girls these days from my experience anyway. They are immature, irresponsible, can’t cook, don’t wanna clean. He may have picked an older woman on purpose. Because he wants somebody with experience that knows what she wants in life not a girl who is undecided about her whole world.
Maybe she a little uncomfortable with his age. Get to know her, you should never just assume someone is a bad person because they want to be with someone younger.
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My ex is 18 yrs younger. Age is just a number. If it makes them both happy just be happy for him.
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Looks like PRAYER is your only answer. Or is there a family member that he would talk to? Maybe someone other than Mom…should approach him about her.
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I would be meeting her, finding out everything you can about her and then go from there
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She’s nasty!!! That’s sick!
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This is growing up, for him and you mom…
You can voice your concerns to him as an adult to an adult. Then just be there if when/if he needs you…
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My son started dating a women 11 yrs older . At frist I admit I was very skeptical
But 4 yrs. Later . Best dau- in -law we could ask for. My son has grown up sooo much . Also have daughter that married a older 12 yrs older . Bit it worked out for her to. My son is my baby
But I had to let go. Killed me with all 5 . But ,just make sure he know you are here if ya need him
Good luck
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Flip this around and hold it to the same standard!
A 37 year old man and an 18 year old girl would cause an uproar!
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get to know the girl find out her intentions
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he just turned 18 that’s predatory stuff.
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Does she look her age because honestly when they met she wouldn’t have just gone im nearly 40 how old are you because your cute and does he look young because if he looks in his 20s and she does too they might not even have noticed the age gap til after they started dating in which case its just a number but if she looks and acts like his mother then I would have a weird vibe but of not just leave them be it might not even last that long and you will have him feel weird towards you with future gfs
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My husband was 35 at the time we met and I was 20, we have a great relationship… I think him being freshly 18 is kind of concerning, but at the same time…. It isn’t? Lol age gap relationships are tricky when it involves someone that’s freshly 18… with that being said, I know a lot of other couples (on social media I follow) that met when one or the other was 18 & the other was in their higher 30s & have lasted a long while and both Seem very happy… again, it’s so tough.
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She could be his mom! My mom had me at 19 I would support him but also very cautious as to why a 37 year old women wanted to date an 18 year old.
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Leave him alone it’s the best experience ever he will have an it probably wants last to long
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I’m 37 with a 17 year old. She’s old enough to be his mama she need to stop her games.
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He is an adult now and age is just a number I don’t see the problem
I mean them moms tho!! 
Yeah I’m not gonna judge he’s an adult and he can make his own decisions I was 16 when I met my girlfriend and she was 21 and I’m 27 and she’s 32 and we’re still together with the seven year old daughter
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My husband was 25 when we met, I was 38. He wanted to be with someone older because all the girls his age were users and cheaters. We’ve been together 8 years and have 2 girls together. When I was 18 I dated men much older, it’s usually not frowned upon when the man is older.
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For sure stay out of it. As long as she treats him right and he is happy then age doesnt matter since theyre both adults.
My boy got himself a cougar
Well played my boi 
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Ok so This happened to some close friends/family. She older woman had been married, 3 kids, yada yada. She met and was getting to know the 18 yr old. I do believe that they were genuine in being friends. To him, she was worldly, beautiful, and very sexual. To her, he gave her attention, he was sweet, he made her feel beautiful, and seen when she hadn’t been in a while. The relationship didn’t work out, but she did tell me once that he did save her life. And looking back, she realizes that she shouldn’t have done it, thats w whole different story, but it is what they both needed at the time.
Good Luck! Just try to check in with your son, and don’t judge him, and keep the line of communication open. Be there is she lets him down.
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Young lad is just looking for a little experience in the sheets. He ain’t trying to mess with the hussy tussy 18 year old gals!! He wants the go daddy experience!! Good for him!! When her tatters start to drop a little to far he moves on to someone his age retaining a plethora of kinky sexual positions that he can share with his new partner!! She might even teach him a thing or two about his credit score!! It’s a win win really!!
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If you feel that there is a problem in the relationship tell him what you have noticed, what concerns you etc and do that ONCE. If you constantly barrage him with criticism of the woman he “loves” it will only make him mad at you.
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Also he is almost 19 not like he just turned 18 last week I understand when they started he just turned 18 but for u to judge her simply because she is older is messed up
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There’s nothing you can do…
There is nothing you can do
Yea no I wouldn’t be ok with that at all. Sounds like she wants someone she can try to control and mold.
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You got to let him live his life…if he happy back him up but always be there for a fall. He a young man finding himself in this world. When he fell for her he didn’t think of age. But aswell as a mum of a son myself watch for any warning signs of control. This is exactly how I would handle with my son. Because if you kick off he could ignore you for good xx 
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Older is one thing. Twice his age and old enough to be his mom is another. I would feel creeped out and like a pedophile entertaining the idea of flirting with someone that much younger than me. Even though half my age would at least be legal to drink. Your son isn’t even that old yet.
I would arrange a sit down with her and find out where her mind is. Is she a predator? Is she just swept up in your sons affections because she has serious baggage she’s using him to distract herself from? Is she serious about dating him? Have a real deep woman to woman talk and see if your son is safe with her.
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He’s grown. Leave it alone and let them do their thing.
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I wouldn’t be happy about it either… if it wad a girl who just turned 18 with an almost 40 year old man ppl would have a different attitude about it
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I’ve always dated people older than me. They tend to be more mature, out of the partying stage, and know what they want relationship wise.
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