My son turned 18 last July,he got his driver’s license the end of August,and started his first job a week later…He started dating someone that he works with not long after he started his job…I have no problem with him having a girlfriend,but the thing is she is 37…I have no problem with age diffrence,but with him being so young I do have my concerns…He is,and has always been a very kindhearted young man,and people tend to use him…I’m not saying this girl is,but I do have my concerns…She seems nice,but I just don’t know…I do not fuss at him about this…I don’t want to push him away…I know his heart,but not sure about hers
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should I do about my son dating an older woman?
Get to know her before judging
6 Likes
Have him invite her off for dinner
1 Like
aww man I would be weary too your feelings are valid. It may take some time to get use to this one
7 Likes
Have a very serious talk about the power dynamics between a newly 18 year old and someone seasoned in life. Make sure he knows the potential for something bad. Thats all you can do.
20 Likes
She just wants him for sex
Nothing. He’s old enough to decide who he likes and wants to date.
1 Like
Why would a 37 year old want to date a 18 year old is beyond me. I would question her more then your son
57 Likes
Everyone says older woman are awesome
1 Like
Let him learn the lesson if there’s one to learn.
In other words, let him be, and let him make his own mistakes
Be nice to her and let things play out.
3 Likes
I certainly wouldn’t be impressed 
but I don’t think it will last with him being so young hopefully for your sake!
He is 18, unfortunately not much you can do. I would not express your concerns to your son as a I fear the more you bring concerns to him the more it’s going to push him to her. I’d try to get to know her and be there for him when he comes to his senses
12 Likes
see if this was my son id be feeling a certain way too:weary:
but unfortunately all you can do is just let him live his life. try to educate him on why such a big age difference may cause problems down the road…but other than that, try to get to know the woman…she might not be that bad…id hate for you and your son to have tension between you 2 because of this …
1 Like
I woudent allow it anyting above 5y difg.is a no no for me
3 Likes
I love the comments of invite her over or get to know her.
If this was a grown 37 year old man dating a girl that just turned 18 y’all would say he’s a pedophile.
He’s 18 she’s almost 40 that’s a huge age gap and I understand your concerns and I would definitely adv him to find some more his own age.
27 Likes
Evan.then me as a adult or over 19 i would not go w sum1 more then 2 or 3y older then me lol
1 Like
Sounds a bit groomer-ish to me. Aint no grown as woman want a child thats 18 and doesnt know shit about life.
I get the concern, but he’s 18. The most you could do is tell him that they may some issues because of the age gap, but you gotta let him figure out life. Get to know her, and learn to accept that your son might just have a thing for older women. If there’s a life lesson for him to learn, let him learn it but be there if he needs you.
1 Like
That would concern me too.
1 Like
Just let him get on with it. He needs to make his own mistakes in life. But you never know, it could work out.
1 Like
Get to know her take your time before you make your mind up but remember they will do it either way they both over 18 but it will be easier if they have your approval shemight be nice
2 Likes
I got with a man when I was 17 he was 36
I left to go to a refuge 10 years later with 4 kids
I have my own 16 year old now and while I won’t say my ex is a nonce looking at my son now I can’t see what a woman of my age would see in him and his age
4 Likes
That’s a lot older, a few years is different
1 Like
He may be 18. But he is a teenager. I can’t understand why a 37-year-old would be attracted to a teenager.
…
8 Likes
I’m with you.Its disqusting.What kind of mental issues does this woman have to want to be with this kid.We know what head hes thinking with.
7 Likes
They are dating
Probably won’t last
All you can do is try to warn him of your concerns
He’s 18. He’s an adult
1 Like
That a huge age gap she’s old enough to be his mother
3 Likes
Carla Merie and Christina Walls have the best solutions. I’m a 37yr old woman and no way in hell would I even look at an 18yr boy…I think it’s wrong, but only my opinion
8 Likes
I have a very kind hearted 16 year old son that would concern me if he were in this situation as well. I talk to him about everything. I tell him dangers of certain situations, things to look out for, past mistakes on my part, and basically just give him really sound advice. I pray a lot about things I personally cannot control. I have found with my boys though that educating them is the best thing you can do. Give him the knowledge and then it is up to him to make the best decision possible!
1 Like
Why is a 36 year old even attracted to a 18 yr old? I don’t care how kind hearted or mature you son is. Sounds like She has some issues she needs to work through and not drag your son through it.
17 Likes
My grandmother and grandfather were 17 years apart and lived a very happy life together. She never remarried after he passed suddenly when my mom was a teenager.
My bestie and I are almost 20 years apart in age and he’s literally the best thing in my life.
Age really isn’t a big deal unless you make it one.
3 Likes
You can tell him your concerns but he is 18 at the end of the day.
1 Like
Have him invite her over for a sit down dinner, get to know her, and give her a chance. I got with a man 12 yrs older than me when I was 18… That was 11 years ago, and were happily married.
13 Likes
Mine is 21, his girlfriend is 32. They’re happy. Leave him, he’ll be fine.
2 Likes
What is a grown ass 37 year old woman doing with an 18 year old? I wouldn’t want to date a child. Smh. Take her out back and have a "talk"with her.
At the end of the day, he’s an adult so you can’t pick and choose what he does. Let him learn himself like we all do.
2 Likes
Idk I get your concern but I also meet my ex husband when I was 18 and he was 35. We were together for 10 years.
3 Likes
He’s 18. Nothing you can do
1 Like
Definitely take the time to get to know her. Otherwise you will push him away
3 Likes
I was ¹9/20 and dated a 37 year old.
Nothing good came of it
But unfortunately he’s going to have to figure it out himself.
You need to give him a SERIOUS talk about Financials!
I mean a serious talk.
It could be his person, but it may not be.
I know a 21yr girl with an almost 49yr man…Its not the money there either
My bf is 23 and his dad is 39…… she is old enough to be his mother and in some countries, grandmother… I have no advice but I wanted to point that out. Because it is gross.
5 Likes
They will have little in common so seems it’s just for sex. He will find out though.
Seems like she needs a boy and some would think Disturbing if it were my son me and her would be having words
While I’d also be concerned if it were my kid, I can say that my high school boyfriend started dating a women twice his age after we broke up (he was 18 and she was 36) and they’re still together (married) and have had a couple kids together. It’s been 14 years and they seem super happy.
I guess what I’m saying is, yes it’s concerning but maybe it is a legitimate connection?
1 Like
I feel like it’s a thing now for this generation 
I have coworkers that are in their early/late 30’s and dating 21 year olds.
1 Like
As long as they are both happy I see no problem in it. Just make sure he can tell if he is being used. Iv known a lot of people that had a huge age gap and they were all very happy. Some times they don’t even look at age they look at the person.
Mind your own business
2 Likes
he’s 18 leave him alone.
2 Likes
You have to wonder what is wrong with her, that she can’t find a guy closer to her own age. Red flag for predator behavior. I’d have a chat with her next time she’s over.
5 Likes
What exactly do you think you can do? He is an adult and likely the more you push, the more he will push back. Be supportive and then he may be able to see through her instead of focusing on his momma drama. If you are accepting it will be easier for you to see and subtly point out things. Let him come to the conclusion.
The more you push him on this the more he will rebell! Trust me!
He’s an adult. You can express your concern to him, but ultimately, it’s his choice.
On a personal note, as a mother of 18 year olds, being 38 myself, I could NEVER look at someone the same age as my daughters in a romantic/sexual way. He is young and still very much naive, but she’s a grown woman. You have every right to feel the way that you do, because there is no difference in your son being 18 and her being 37 than there is a female being 18 with a 37 year old boyfriend. It’s disturbing. It may be different if he was 18 and she was in her early to mid 20s. But a 20 year age difference?!
6 Likes
Nothing, he is a adult. Time to let him make adult decisions. Not your say anymore.
I’m 36 and there is no way in this world I would want to date an 18 year old. My daughter is about to be 17, that’s just weird.
10 Likes
You can’t control the world, you have to let your kids live and learn. Just stay close and keep communication open. Stay involved in his life. Show him love and if the relationship goes sour be there for them.
2 Likes
Let him enjoy himself and get some sexual n life experience.
3 Likes
My husband was with a woman 17 years older than him. From the time he was 19 until 49. He never had any kids, and basically his entire life was with her. We reconnected 5 years ago, and we married 3 years ago. I am sad that he never had any kids (she already had 3 or 4 and had been married 4 times). He would have supported her the rest of her life if we had not found each other. They were living together still, but had been not together for over 2 years. He felt sorry for her bc she was disability, so he wouldn’t make her move out. When our relationship started to get serious, he payed her 5000 dollars to leave his house, or she would have never left…
1 Like
18 does not mean adult. It’s disgusting for a 37yr old to even be attracted to a teen. Unfortunately this is a situation he will have to figure out on his own. Your concerns are valid.
13 Likes
I am not saying it would waste his life, but it could…
That’s wrong I’m 38 n my son is 20 that’s just a no no for me is she right in the head I’d still see him as a child
2 Likes
There’s nothing you can do now. He’ll live and learn 
What kind of grown ass woman would be with an 18 year old. That is concerning for sure.
1 Like
I’m about to be 37 and I think of an 18 yr old as a child… that is so crazy
4 Likes
Eww I’m 36 and couldn’t even imagine dating an 18 year old. He may be a legal adult, but he is not a grown man. I mean not much can be done, but voice your concerns and hope for the best.
2 Likes
He’s a young man he’ll learn 
I’d be wiggin out a little too but he’s an adult and you can’t protect him anymore especially if he’s a sweetie he’ll be alright even if things go wrong it’s all life experience at this point.
She’s a woman. Not a girl.
If it was the other way around, what would your feelings be.
You can’t do anything. He’s an adult and his relationship is his business.
Idk what idk do either my oldest son is 19 and I’m only 39 soooooo I’d feel some kind of way about it as well it gives me anxiety just thinking about it im sorry!!
2 Likes
As weird as is it is, he’s an adult now and anything you try to do will make him resent you, And feel like a child.
Let this crash and burn, and if it doesn’t and they’re happy then great! You have a happy son!
Im curious what the hell an 18 yr old and 37yr old talk about?
Last year he was still doing homework… she’s pushing 40
1 Like
It’s his choice but id have words with her invite her for dinner.
See where she’s at too cause that’s odd
His 18 not 8 he is an adult and yes in the past he has been known to be vulnerable so I understand the protection but he needs to make his own decisions and mistakes but know that you’ll be right beside him when he needs you. You’ll drive him away if you keep acting over protective and controlling over his life.
I can’t think of any other reason a 37 yo would want to be with an 18yo except to mold him into what she wants. Idk what I would do in your situation. If you’re negative about her it’s going to push him closer to her. He’s going to have to learn on his own. I would lock up any money you have saved for him & anything important he owns in case she’s looking to manipulate him into giving her what he has.
16 Likes
I was 21 he was 42, dated for about 5-6 months, only reason it didn’t work really was I had just split up with my now ex husband, I still loved him and went back, he was a great guy, we had things in common and still do, if I had known there was a chance after all these years( 15 ish years) I may have even seen what could come about now that I am where I am, but right person wrong time again Age is nothing to me., my kids know I dated someone fair bit older and I always said that. Once ur adult, u decide and know. Plenty of ppl have age gaps and it works, to each there own, I also feel same bout sexual preference, I am open to u love who u love and thats it… to each there own, let it play out, watch for signs, but most of all just support ur kids is all u can do…
No advice but if it was an 18yr old girl and a 37yr old man, the perspective would be different. Women can be predators too. Tread lightly so you don’t push your son away, he may need to be kept safe and doesn’t realize it yet.
4 Likes
My mom was 12 years older than my stepdad. He was her third marriage and her last. They were extremely happy together until she passed away a few years back. It’s been 5 years and he has not moved on. He truly loved my mother. I hope someday that he finds someone to live the rest of his years with. But he will always be my dad and my children’s grandpa no matter what.
4 Likes
For curiosity sake I read this to my hubs to get his thoughts, he made some good statements but he sees the same concerns all yhe lady folks do- forsees this being a relationship that will likely end with yhe young man hurt, but logicly no matter who he dates at this age thats likely to be true. We suggest being there for him and trying to remain Switzerland opinion wise … maybe she will be everyrhing he needs in life, but honestly his chances of finding his best love the first run out of the gate is slim.
Nope! I would nip that in the bud! My son is 17. There is no way he is ready be dating a middle aged woman.
3 Likes
What could she possible have in common with him. If it was a man and younger girl.people would think different. Not going to lie I would be fuming.
1 Like
That’s weird. She’s literally old enough to be his Mom 
I’m 26 and I couldn’t ever look at a 18 year old that way. So I’m lost for words.
4 Likes
Honestly nothing. Hes 18. Do i think its ok? No I do not but he is of an adult age so their is nothing you can do.
Let him be ! Love doesn’t see the age or race. Put it aside and let them to live their life
What does a 37-year-old want with an 18 year besides the obvious
7 Likes
I think it’s distasteful on her part. Good lord find someone her own age. She may be trying to saddle him with her responsibilities.
1 Like
On one hand, he is “legal”. On the other, I feel like no matter how mature he might be, that’s a pretty big age gap… I guess there isn’t anything wrong with it, unless she gives you a reason to be concerned at some point. I would definitely want to get to know her better(as the mom, you always want to protect your baby boy). I’m sorry. I wish I knew what I would do in that situation. Be understanding and trusting, until there is a reason to have mistrust…maybe?
1 Like
he’s 18. there’s nothing you can do. it probably won’t last anyway, so just let him have fun 
1 Like
He’s an adult. Nothing you can do . And if you say to much he might move in with her.
1 Like
He’s 18. Considered an adult so really you don’t have a choice but to accept his choices.
If your against it he might pull away maybe get to know her… see how they are when they are together. Maybe you can see what her intentions are that way
you do nothing. he is 18 and date who he wants. all you can do is be there for him if he gets hurt. he could be with someone his own age who doesn’t have a good heart and would hurt him. her age has nothing to do with it. leave him be.
You can’t do anything. Just try and let it go and he’s got to live and learn.
1 Like
He is a consenting adult. There is nothing for you to do. Oh well.
I would bring it up in conversation. I have a 19 year old. I would just ask her very innocently how’s it going with so and so. Genuine loving curiosity. If he’s comfortable talking with you then he’s more likely to share. At least that way you have some sense and can be a support him if and when things turn south.
A 37 year old with an 18 year old is concerning. You are completely valid in your feelings!
11 Likes
She sounds predatory I would insist on meeting her
4 Likes
This isn’t an equitable relationship. She has more life experience and holds the power. He will be easily manipulated by her.
10 Likes
I am 25 my husband and father to my kids is going on 58 in July been together 4.5 years. Let him try to date who he wants. your decision is based on who you connect with.
2 Likes
My stepson met his now fiance when he was 16 only 3 months after turning 16. She was 23. We, dad and I didn’t agree with the situation but he was living with his mom and emancipated himself and went to live with now fiance. Almost a year later he text us with she’s pregnant. Everyone else got an in person announcement or call. We now have a 3 year old granddaughter. She was born 8 days before I turned 31. SS recently turned 21. He did leave her 2 months into the pregnancy then went back when granddaughter was born. We just learned to except the situation. We hit a rough patch when we found out she was pregnant but we have made amends for everyone’s sake and sanity. My dad would have killed me and whomever I was dating if I was 16 and they were over 18. They will be getting married in September. They got engaged on her birthday last year or the year before. I honestly don’t remember. My husband is 40 and we’ve been together 12 years and married 11 years. So I was 21 he was 28 when we met.