What should I do about my step daughter?

Don’t do it. They don’t have the guts to take you to court. Stand your ground. HOPEFULLY the boyfriend will get tired of waiting and move on. I hope she doesn’t get pregnant. Best of luck.

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Ignore her. She is ruining her life and you will not help her do it. Tell her to get a job.

I think dad should put it all in a trust fund that can’t be touched for anything other than basic living bills and school expenses until she’s 21 or 25. Until she’s 18, dad pretty much has full control/say over the money as her legal guardian. And it’s entirely possible that she’s not actually entitled to any of the money received prior to her 18th bday (would need to consult a lawyer to be sure).

He is obviously after her money ad she will do anything to keep him so when the money is gone he won’t want her

How is she going to pay for an attorney?
Call her bluff.

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He is doing what is best for his daughter…stand with him…

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It’s not easy at that age, I remember knowing everything at 17 :joy:. What if anything is she living off? She would need a little money to survive. Save the rest until she’s 18. She will eventually get over this guy until then she would probably not back down. I think social security money is for living expenses like food, clothes etc. Maybe I’ve misunderstood? She could always return to education in the future, yeah she’s wasting time now, but she has to see that herself. Hope it all goes ok x

No. Your husband is right.

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For 1 court costs money they would have to pay to have representation, which they clearly don’t have harassing you for the cash. 2 your hubby is right to stick to his guns emotional blackmail should never be given in to. 3 this boyfriend sounds like a cretin who has probably had more of a hand in the absent school issues. This looks to be going only one way downward. Maybe the daughter is actually scared into doing this cretins bidding as it would seem he deems her as as a cash cow. I really hope it all works out and she drops this low life and she can regain a relationship with her family. When it all comes crashing down she will need you both.

Support ur husband and let him stick to what he said. It’s for taking care of her not for the bf to have just cause he wants it. Ur husband is doing what court would tell him to do by putting it in a savings account for her.

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Tough love stand firm with your husband…he’s doing the right thing x

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If she’s not in education the money should stop anyway x

Let her dad take the reins on this one and stand by him.

As somebody who was the dumb teenager who was given her savings at 17, it was blown by 6 months later and I had nothing to show for it.

Time will heal everything else.

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I would speak to a lawyer myself and get a restraining order on the boyfriend and get her back home . Sounds like coercive behaviour on his part . She will hate you for forcing you back home . But that will soon be forgotten x

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If she did not have mony the bf would be long gone

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Stand behind your husbands decision as its the correct one. Id also use the money to consult with the lawyer. Shes under 18 and he’s not. Thats a felony! Good way to get the boyfriend out of the picture. In the end she’ll thank you. Your not her friend. Be her parent

The scariest part is what will she do when she is 18 and gets the money? She could be headed to more trouble at 18. Prayers for your family

If u drop it off to her you are just teaching her that it’s ok to act like her boyfriend, it’s ok to threaten n harass her parents or even whoever, it will for sure get her what she wants.
Sounds like a good kid until she met the bad boyfriend. Influence is everything to some, so let dad teach her his influence is tough love but it’s better than the influence the boyfriend has.
Always be a parent before a friend.

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if she gets her ged then give her the money.

Let your Hubby handle this situation … hold on to her money … she wants to go to court bring it on…don’t give her anything until she’s 18….

Follow husbands lead

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From experience, she can’t do anything and cannot have it till she is 18 years old… let her threaten family court she won’t get anywhere with it x

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She is still a minor… and until she is legally of age, there’s nothing a judge will do anyways. Except see that her father has her best interest at heart.

You need to stand by your husband… and not go behind his back and give her the money…
Sounds like her and her boyfriend are up to no good… and by giving her that money each month you are only encouraging bad habits.

I pray she gives her head a shake and realizes what she’s doing with her life before it’s too late.

She is still a minor… I wouldn’t have let her go to the boyfriends…I would have put her in a foster home. Until she turned 18… don’t lk my rules will see how u lk theirs.

Stand by the original decision. It’s the best thing

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DO NOT GIVE IN. Your husband is correct and more parents need to be like him. Stay strong… Eventually everything will work out

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Stand by ur husband. If she dropped out of school she will no longer get that money . They will stop it .

Support your husbands decision x

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Yes I agree stand by your husband

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I don’t agree with the dad. The fact is he should of informed s.s so they could stop the checks. ITS NOT HIS MONEY

Don’t give her anything.She chose this.

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From someone who moved out at 17 with my sister in law I worked and went to school don’t give her a dime unless she starts showing some responsibility in her life nothing is handed to us we must work for what we have tell her and her boyfriend to get jobs good luck with out a HS diploma she’ll be flipping burgers her whole life I luckily took secretarial school and worked half a day and went to school the other half it showed me what being a adult was all about

Stand by your husband. She’s not ready , hes doing the right thing. She may hate you know. But she will thank you later.

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Dads place not yours

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Your husband is right.

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Stand your ground. If she won’t do what is expected of her and she knows the terms of the money, she has to live with the consequences.

She is trying to control her father with fear and intimidation. It’s important that he sticks to the rules that he laid out before her prior to this. I can guarantee you it’s probably the boyfriend that is putting these thoughts in her head. We teach people how to treat us, so in the event that you do give it to her early she will figure out that fear and intimidation and threats work and she will continue to do it and other circumstances this won’t be the end of it if you given to her. I agree with everyone else stand united with your husband let him handle it it sounds like he has a pretty good head on his shoulders and knows how to handle this girl. Toughlove is the only way to go

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Stand your ground. Give it to her when she turns 18. Even if she went to court to get it now, she wouldnt get heard by the court till after she turns 18. Stand your ground and tell her no.

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yes stick with rule of husband

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  1. Let your husband take control of the situation and follow his lead.
  2. With what job and or money is she going to use to file anything in the court. It cost money to go to court.

Personally in my opinion for what you’ve wrote and how I’ve taken this… sounds more like the ‘boyfriend’ possibly wants the money not her.
So I would not give it to her because of this… he is obviously ‘controlling’ her which you said.
Xx

Since you are her STEP parent, there is nota thing you can do. Unless you enjoy going behind his back, whom is her biological parent. You really want to take something out of the bank that is NOT legally yours? It’s the bio parent responsibility. And step parent JOB to back the bio parent decisions. l went through the same thing when my son’s step dad was in the picture. l made discipline choices, and all he could do was back me up. You BOTH have to literally be on the same page, the daughter is dividing and conquering the two of you. Back off STEP mom, and let her BIO dad discipline her, or you will lose BOTH her and him.

I recommend to take this to lawyer to make agreement and have it signed to protect her from boyfriend! Something to control moneys. If you possible have background on that guy which you able use it against him to show judge documents and record their threats. You need papers to be signed to protect her future. If it not happen then he is going use her and take all moneys.

Be ready she going to fall in trip right back into your arms

Id be telling the boyfriend if he feels like a man and come get some see what happens when a boy goes toe to toe with a man

I wouldn’t give it to her. If she moved out and is not in school following the rules, she’s not entitled to it. They can both work. Now, I suggest talking to an attorney as to how to best manage her money to limit the boyfriend’s access to it.

When a person is acting as a payee as your husband is that money is for her well being I aim going through same thing money is to be used for her care as clothes rent and such if she is paying rent make a check payable to them for said reasonable amount put in notes for what month get prepaid card load amount for essentials and hygiene stuff take a notebook and keep accurate records my daughter is 20 but handicapped and same issue boy controlling her he even had the guts to ask for her savings I said nope he is pushing to have me revived as payee and ssi said no way

Your husband is correct and I would see a lawyer to protect your daughter and her money from the boyfriend

Father needs to keep his word. A man is only as good as his word!

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Stick to ur guns, I would make the account untouchable until she is 21 or registered and attending school. She is young and rebelling it happens just stick to what yalk say and stay a team

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Stick to your guns! It sounds to me like drugs are involved. And I’m speaking from personal experience. I didn’t choose a man over my parents until I started doing drugs with a man. Drugs change the way you think, you’re not yourself when on drugs. So if drugs are involved, don’t take it personally. Hopefully one day she will learn her lesson and grow up and come to her senses and come back to y’all. But don’t back down.

Stick to what your husband is doing, once she’s 18 allow her to be free!! She’ll learn…

I would give her the money from the day she moved out until it stops. If any was saved prior hold on to it. She will need it when the guy finds someone else or she opens up her eyes.

It’s money to your hubs to help support her. He chooses how the money is spent. She does need to realize unless she is a full time student those payments will stop at 18 just like child support would.

No. Stay out of it. Period. No matter what you do it will piss someone off & it will haunt you. This is not your fight. Stay neutral as much as possible

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Support your husband!! :open_mouth: Parents need to stay together. You’re only giving in because you don’t like drama. It’s not based on logical parenting. You’ll also crack your relationship with your husband. Do you want to lose both relationships? Daughter won’t stick with you. She’ll only come back to you for more money after boyfriend spends it.

Jeremy Kyle 0837784021

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Do not draw it out. Stand by your husband. Since she’s 17 she might get emancipated and speed up the process, but I don’t know. I know you and him should be on the same page. It’s for her benefit. She doesn’t need to be in an abusive relationship and if she continues going down that road will probably end up a single mother, abused, or worse. I hope that y’all can help her or find the resources to help her mentally, because she is so young and those manipulative relationships can be blinding to the person that’s in them. She will understand everything that was done to help her one day, but she just doesn’t understand right now.

Stand with your husband, tough love is the hardest thing he has ever had to do your job is to have his back not back her stupidity.

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Shelly is right…just remember you’re her parents…not her friend.

I’d give her a debit card, and let her spend her own money , she’s 17 , she’s turning 18, let her know you trusting her, first off forbidding him from coming to the house, you not stopping her from seeing him, at least u can monitor them some, because she gonna see him regardless… Draw it out , let her see what it’s like to be that adult…the more u try to stop their relationship the more u pushing her in his arms

I wouldn’t give it to her. You don’t know if it could be used for drugs. Try and get her back home. Even if it means having him. I’m not a rescuer but. Sometimes people need rescuing.

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Stand your ground Dad…:+1:

Stand with your husband

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Don’t do it will not end well

Don’t give it to her let the boyfriend take care of her I’m sure that’s all he wants is her money don’t give in dad

Support your husband on his decision.

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Do not!!! Not your kid so to speak and as his wife sticking to your guns as a unit is much better than possibly making life harder than it is by going against him. Its not a man vs woman thing here. This is safety of a child thing and at this point she isnt mentally capable even at 18 as long as she is with him.

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Hang tough. She may come around later and would regret what she did. There is no going back after that.

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Stick with your husband’s decision. She is in an abusive relationship and the boyfriend is the one pressuring her for the money. If she gets it now, he will be controlling it. Stick it out and hopefully he will dump her and she will come back home

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Stick to your guns. ,Tough live she ,prayers for your family :heart: hopefully she will dump him eventually.

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Stick by your husband’s decision regardless of what you think!! How about talking as a parent/friend to the boyfriend? He might have mental health issues or even drug influences :woman_shrugging::pray:

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Stay out of it the dad’s in charge

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Stick to ur guns it’s nearly Nov anyways when 18 give her the bank card let her go to learn a lesson the hard way. Yep we sorta can foresee the future scenario when shit goes to hell we as parents don’t want that but @ the end of the day they have choices . One day shel understand & realise. Support ur hubby for now

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Do not give it to her. You were never meant to be her friend but her parents and you only do what’s best for her, not what she wants

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Don’t negotiate with terrorists

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That money was to be used to raise her not give them a spending sprea. Don’t give it to them. I know someone that this happen to.

The money will stop at 18 years old. My brother was in the same situation. They stopped her check at 18.

At 16 she is legally allowed to have her money on her own right regardless of what your views or thoughts are about it being spent irresponsibly! Although money is paid into an account in your hisbands name ,if its for the daughter of this age it should be a joint need account where you both have access to it…however if not spemdimgvsorrectly maybe it should be set up in a way that both signatures are needed on the account ot withdrawal any funds which is a good way to move it forward.Howevef unless this person doesn’t have mental capacity then you have no right to dictate how her money is spent 0r with hold it so if it went to a court she would win the case completely…you d be made to pay costs of such as case and just because she’s irresponsibly with money doesnt give right for you ,even as parents to decide at her age at all !! As a parent maybe!! Questions need to be asked…

Sounds like she’s in a abusive and controlling environment and I d be looking to get answers nad protect this girl personally,she needs help !!

She cant file an court stuff till shes 18 anyway and I wouldnt give it to her and undermine him . He is sticking to his guns you should back him. Technically he can keep that money of he seems her incompetent he could become her payee and she wouldnt receive a dime and couldnt do anything about it

Your husband can tell soc sec he dont won’t to be her payee explain why then they will relieve him from it and it be up to her to find another payee or soc sec will find her one but if she stop going to school once turned 18 her check will stop .

No matter how difficult it might be stand with your husband, It will tear you apart on the inside but she will never win in family court in her situation. She will come around as she will get tired of her boyfriend, she has a hard road ahead of her as much as you and your husband. Make sure she knows that you both love her even if she doesn’t believe it at this moment. As I was reading this I could relate to your story I met my daughter when she was 6 (now mid 30’s) and we still talk as much as possible ( thankfully I got her and the grandkids in the divorce) no matter how much you try she has to find her own way back to you. Have faith in your parenting and know you did the best you could.

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Withdraw the money and burn it in front of her while her asshole boyfriend and her are tied to a chair so they can see the consequences of their actions. Or, as a more realistic option, consult of lawyer who specializes in family law and So you can make an informed decision with help from someone with experience in that field. As far as what I would do, personally, figure out what drew her to such a bad partner and try to talk to her without painting him in an obvious way. See if she is truly happy in a bad relationship or just scared to leave him for whatever reason. Then offer her her money to start fresh. But not all the money. And if that is beyond hope, severing ties is hard but sometimes the only option.

Sorry for your problems but her Dad is her Dad and her Mom is her Mom and never a “step” should interfere as it will come back to haunt you.

My heart goes out to you and I honestly don’t have the answer… I had a bad experience with my stepdaughter’s husband being controlling and abusive… I went to him just the two of us and told him how things were going to be… He told me he wouldn’t stand for it… I explained his standing could be eliminated… He got better for about a month…and she moved back in with us… Come to find out he was a druggy. He came to our house in the middle of the night raising cane…no it didn’t work out for him… Time went by after she divorced him and she met someone else and they are doing really good… I pray it work’s out for your daughter… But I believe dad should have went to his house after about his second episode…and laid the LAW down to him… He’s TOXIC

shouldnt have let her leave in the 1st place smfh

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Your husband is right

Stand with your husband

Dont do it! The boy is gonna drain her dry and then leave her

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Shes a kid and she needs to stay in a kids place…she will see soon enough…the money will stop once she quits school…theyll go through it quickly, he will dump her and she will come back home…sometimes kids have to learn the hard way…

Frame the boyfriend and put his ass in PRISON for LIFE

Hubby is right. Stand your ground. Either she will come around or she won’t.

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Let her learn from her mistakes. Its called " tough love" Dad.

back in my day to the barn u went with a razor strap