Do you really need to ask
She is going to blow that money and crawl back to you and her dad when she is broke i hope she will spend the money wisely
Your husband is right, stand your ground! Please try texting her, writing her a letter, or maybe the two of you doing something together, spa day etc! Try to get her away from her boyfriend to experience normal with you again, you guys dont even have to chat about stuff! If you can, let her know she has a soft place to fall! Goddluck
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As most people are saying support your hubby.If anything threaten her with social services and have her allowance cut cos it’s her dominating boyfriend wants the money more than her . Won’t belong they’ll get kicked out from where they are living and come crawling home
Stand by your husband. Giving in to her threats does nothing. Sorry you all are going through this. She has been with this boy for too long and he s probably the driving force behind it. She needs to get away from him. Good luck. As far them harassing you guys file a police report or get a TRO
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Be the bigger person since you are the parents
Nope! Don’t give in! Don’t go against your husbands rules!!! She needs to learn, just because that money is “for her” doesn’t mean she deserves it. Even when she turns 18, that doesn’t mean she’s mentally mature to deal with her money. I wouldn’t move a finger, I would let her take y’all to court and explain everything to the judge so he can order her therapy court ordered. She needs it and is blind, young and dumb at this age. Save every phone call… record them if possible, print every text message and stand your ground. Giving in might end the drama about money but will not end ALL of the drama so yeah…. No, I wouldn’t give her jack! And honestly I would’ve never allowed her to leave if I was your husband.
It’s so easy to give in but doing the right thing isn’t always easy. Stick to your guns, your step daughter needs some tough love, so staying as a team with your husband is the better option in the grand scheme of things. Don’t give up my lovely, they’re grinding you down for their own easy life, if they need money that bad, they can both go and find employment.
Listen to your husband stick to your grounds
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Dad is right. . Do what he already has told her. Let her take U to court…
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Support your husband. He’s basically the one who’s being harassed and receiving threats from his daughter.
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I’m with your husband on this one…If she isn’t taught by her parents that she can’t have everything she want when she want it she’s constantly going to be disappointed in life…It just doesn’t work like that…Just because she throws a temper tantrum you’re softening up?? Now is not the time…Be stern!! And stand your ground…Let her pay the money to take you guys to family court and go in there and embarrass herself…She’s not being abused, she had a roof over her head, food, running water, and 2 parents that care about her so where’s the issue?? Once you guys produce the texts and the other harassment the judge is going to look at her like she crazy for wasting her/his time…November’s right around the corner if she wants to be in a domestic abuse relationship she will find out soon that she should have respected her parents…Teenager often make mistakes like this but one things for sure they always end up needing there parents for one thing or another…Block her if you can’t handle the harassment if she needs you guys for real she will find a way to get in touch with you…Good luck
Is it Centrelink payments going into the account? Tell her to go get her own bank account and organise the money if it is Centrelink money put it in her account and tell the boy he wanted her so he can now pay for her. Tell her she is welcome home under your house rules write them out 2 sets and you both sign them. Let her take you to court but there is not enough money that you owe her to do that.
If she’s not emancipated, the father is still responsible for anything that she does. He actually doesn’t have to give her a dime until her 18th birthday. She’s probably being verbally/mentally or physically abused. Your daughter may be in a situation that she doesn’t know how to escape. So to save yourselves, report her as running away and living with the boyfriend. Child services will investigate and make sure she’s not being abused.
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Please forgive me I am not trying to come out in any sort of assumptions. But just by the boyfriend reaction towards her n then her flipping out screaming, I’m sorry but did anyone see signs of abuse? That’s mental abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse and I think you guys should try to save your daughter from this man. Get her checked out and pray he doesn’t have her on anything 
I think you have an amazing standard rule n easy to follow by. But please check her before she turns 18 n there’s nothing you can do then.
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If she has moved out she needs to organiser her own centrelink payments now, directly to herself in accordance with her new living arrangements. I’m sure you paid out a lot money over the years from your own accounts and you were very generous to let the direct payment accumulate for her, which is a big incentive for her to look forward to, if she complied and respected your wishes. In my opinion she would now forfeit your generosity, and I would not give her the money at all. If she thinks she’s grown up and doesn’t need your support, so be it… tough love may help her realise her boyfriends influence may not be the best for her future happiness 
good luck with everything, hope it works out for you all
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BF’s behavior is typical if an abuser. Wont be long before he starts smacking her around. I wouldnt give her the money til she’s 18 and then only in increments.
belive me she will wake up to him one day, it’s probably him pulling all the strings making her ask for the money, if she’s old enough to move out she’s old enough to go to work & earn her own money, stick to your guns don’t give them a penny
Don’t it’s the boyfriend who would benefit
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Ur hubby is wright stick to your guns
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Don’t be weak! You and your husband need to remain a united front. You’d only be undermining him.
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Wow! I do not envy you but try to stand your ground. I’m sorry.
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She would still be under my roof, fight or not, until she was 18. Boyfriend wouldn’t be an option anymore.
Stick to your guns!
Make sure she knows the door is always open for her if the bf is controlling and abusive you don’t know what he is doing or saying to her she will get angry and flip out as she may be scared of him. Stick to your guns but tell her everyday you love her and that her room is always there for her. He could be threatening to hurt her family or friends if she doesn’t do this or get the money. Hopefully she will come home soon.
If she quits school tell him to keep it in savings cause they will want it back they did my sister like that
She’s still a minor and the court will decide in favor of the father. But that changes when she reaches 18. Stay out of it… Its between your husband and her.
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Stick to it sounds like a abuser to me hope he doesn’t hurt her
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Support ur husband!
Or ask urself how u would feel if the role was reversed?
But maybe u could reach out to her and make sure that she’s ok if the boyfriend is controlling etc.
Call the police and explain the situation with the boyfriend and ask them to do a welfare check on her. She’s young and mite b to scared to speak up 
Let your husband hbandle this she will wake up one day
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You can’t let her control your emotions… Stick with your husband he wasn’t wrong for doing what he did
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Do not give in your partner is doing the right thing our children learn lessons in life from there actions she knew the consequences and as a parent you need to stick to them until she is an adult you are still the legal guardian and in control n she needs to respect that
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Support your husband in his choice. Stand by him 
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She’s gone that long without money I’m sure she’s fine. More to the point though, how do you know he’s not abusing her and she’s trapped? Maybe a helping hand towards her might help her calm down, sounds like she’s suffering x
Stick with your husband on this. The boyfriend is the only one that will benefit, with passing over the money. She is without a doubt, being controlled, minipulated and maybe even abused (by the boyfriend) get socail services to intervine. Keep watch over her, if you can? (spy on them) get proof, get her help. If it does go to court, call her bluff, like her boyfriend is with yourself and you husband, trying to get the money. Tell her, her Dad will pay for court out of her savings. Hope all ends well, good luck 
xx
The age is bad.i thnk you should talk to your daughter. The guy in her life is brain washing her. You guys should need to help her.
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SSI isn’t a paycheck for her. It’s like child support. It’s to cover costs of child, so essentially he doesn’t owe her a damn thing.
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Your husband is right. Don’t give into her to stop the drama with the relationship she is in there will always be drama just let her know you will always be there for her
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I understand the parental responsibility you feel like you have, and have gained over the years of her life you were there, but I definitely wouldn’t go against her dad with regards to giving her the money. I’d leave it between her and her dad, however I’d take into perspective that if her boyfriend was like that before, then it’s going to be a lot worse now if they’re living together - he could be physically abusive towards her aswell as verbal… and that money is probably not going to be spent on her.
Children don’t run from healthy homes. Family counseling with the boyfriend for all. Or you don’t want to fix it, you want to be in control. Do the work. Forget the money. You ALL need therapy
Doesn’t matter what you do, you’ll always be wrong !
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You have to understand in this scenario that she may be a victim herself. You would have to look up laws specific to your state to see if you can file a restraining order on her behalf. If so, that would be the most pressing issue. Keep in mind that she may be terrified of this guy. Being that he is 18 and she is 17 you could get him on statutory rape charges since you guys do not approve of him. You also have the option to have her drug tested. If she tests positive or any type of hardcore drugs you can also have her involuntarily committed into a rehab facility. This is where you need to step up and be her parents and not her friend. As far as the money goes, you have every right to hold on to it until she turns 18. As far as the harassment goes, report him to the police every time he does it and try to record the conversations. You would also have to look up laws specific to your state concerning audio recordings in order to be sure that it would be admissible in the event it results in a court hearing. You could always have her file for emancipation if you do not want to take these steps. She is at the age where you cannot really control her anymore, but you do still have legal options. The question is whether or not to use those options. I do not envy your position. I hope everything turns out well either way.
Stick it out, not just because it’s the right thing to do but for you daughters sake.
Bullies like her boyfriend will take every penny from her and and then still want more. Whilst you are still in control of the money your daughter has some protection as it isn’t her fault that she’s hasn’t got it.
Good luck x
Leave it to your husband to deal with her . Men can cope with more tbh
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Stick by her dad he’s right let her go to hell with her carry on shel cop on some day they all do
Support your husband in his decision.
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Stay out of it. Do not touch the momeym
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I would put it in a savers account until she’s 21years but before it’s released after this age she would need to pass a drug test! Stick with dad
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Dad’s doing the right thing
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She needs to leve him he no good for her but she can’t see that yet I know it hard but try and be patience for a bit longer see might wake up to him best wishes
She will be 18 before anything would get through court. To be consistent with her is the best thing you & your husband can do. Someday she will hopefully understand.
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You need to follow your husband’s lead. He’s right about this. She’ll find out the hard way that you were concerned with her best interest. She’ll be back but she needs some tough love right now.
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Stand by your husband.
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Support your husband … there young its gonna pass !!
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Stick by him and stand your ground shes acting like a spoilt brat (sorry) she shud respect the things u both do for her and nt put tht abuser b4 u guys
DO NOT GIVE IN. Why did he tell her she COULD move out at 17? Especially under that guy?
Explain to her she will get those checks till she’s 23 IF she’s in schooling. As in graduate high school and the do a trade or college. she’s really throwing away a big convenience.
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You have to protect her from herself as much as this young man. She’s just not mature enough to make sensible decisions. She is under his thrall and clearly doesn’t realise she’s being manipulated. If that money is given to her HE will blow through it fast and then dump her. This relationship could get far, far worse so please do not enable it by giving in. Lock it into a savings account that she cannot access until she’s 21.
in czech, our fathers would go, beat the controlling guy and tell him, if he will go close to the daughter, he will be beaten again…and again…until he stops 
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I have daughters and as mon it’s hard when I don’t like there b/f. I talk to my girls and let the know what I think of there b/f and hope they make good choices. I don’t stop there b/f from coming to the house bc I want to see my kids and make sure there safe then me letting them go and not knowing what going to happen. So far my girl have made good choices and left them losers eventually. Remember there young and it’s not for ever we hope
STICK BY YOUR HUSBAND, HES DOING WHAT IN HER BEST INTEREST NOW. That being said he really shouldnt have let her move out, I personally would have kept her under my roof and confronted the bf while she was still there. If he isnt already, he will physically or verbally And emotionally abuse her. I would have let him know that I know who hes going to be to his face. I can imagine her current predicament is because of him and her need to get that money so badly is either because of him or they are on drugs perhaps.
Be proud your husband is sticking to his word, dont go against him. This bf already took his daughter dont let him ruin your marriage by going behind his back
Let your husband stick to his guns it would be a civil matter so they would have to pay to take him to court which doesn’t sound like her boyfriend would do anyway xx
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Don’t cave into their harassment because if u do do her the money trust me on this her boyfriend will use her till all of her money is gone and then dump her like a hot potato n then u both to pick up the piece’s of her life. Let her learn to get a job and keep that money in a savings account till she turns 30 yrs old after she’s grown up a little.
Don’t undermine your partner
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Ss money is for feeding her housing her if that is ss check report her to ss for help
If its your husbands money he worked for its not wise to save money for young people because they appreciate money more when they work for it
Never tell a kid your saving money for them because they will become greedy
Tell her ss doesnt allow her to be in charge
Her boyfriend wants to spend her money then he will leave her and she needs to be put in a juvenile retention center
Those kind of kids have murdered their parents their dangerous so lock her up
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Why is this even a question? Don’t give her the money!
Are you leaving all the money in savings for her dont do that buy her clothes and spend some on entertainment and happy things for her well being that is what the money is for
I agree with dad 100%.
I would have been a lot tighter with my reigns regarding the boyfriend.
You need to get her out of that toxic relationship. She does not know any better…but you do.
Maybe dad, or both of you together take her for a meal and chat to her. Dad to daughter, that this boy is not respectful. Should impact and make her think.
I would also get her to come home, back in school to finish.
She’s not going to get far without a matric. It’s hard but you need to be harder. Good luck.
As you said its social security which doesnt pay much so there shouldnt be any savings you by law need to spend it immediately on the child not give it to her problem solved
Have you kept a record of what you buy for her because you have to be honest by spending the money each month on your child
Be honest its for her spend it on her
Yes! Stick with your husband! I’m surprised the boyfriend is still around unless he’s waiting on her money! Maybe give her another chance and let the boyfriend come around and sit and discuss his anger issues! It would keep her at home and may help him in the process! You never know why a person acts the way they do! The daughter is young and in her learning stages of life… she’ll eventually learn that her actions did her more harm than good because she’ll always need her parents no matter what age! Time heals all!
Don’t give it to her. Make her wait. If anything I would try to get a court order from the courts changing the age to 23 on the account. Under the premise of her maturity and not completing school.
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Support your husband, it sounds like she needs tough love
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Tough love, if not you will regret it!
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Legally it’s His $$ she is under 18 and he is her guardian it was to be used for her needs and Well she lived with you she got a roof over her head food meals and everything she needed so basically that money was used for that even though he put it in a savings account it’s hits as long as he met her needs and can prove that he spent on her to keep her alive and well what the checks would’ve come to be honest giving a 17 year old that kind of $$ is putting them in danger
You technically have nothing to do with it… your husband does and he’s doing the right thing.
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Your husband put the line in the sand you must stand with him.
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Stand firm with your husband. Shes not 18. If possible change the age to 21 or whatever is possible in your state because of her not completing school
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He’s standing his ground , step back and let him do what he said he was going to do , and support all of his decisions .
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Your husband is doing the right thing . If she wasn’t acting like that before that it’s deff because of the boyfriend.hes most likely a narrsassist and she is blind to it
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Honestly if she wasn’t like this before it sounds like her boyfriend is behind it, I’d be concerned and wondering if she’s even safe with him especially him acting like that, ask her to come over for lunch or dinner by herself not with him and just have a heart to heart talk to her about her worths and where it leads if she continues to stay with him and the long term effects this will have on her. It honestly breaks my heart reading this but she really needs to know could honestly save her life 
looks. like. the. court. will have. a . last word.and .Sadly he. will go by the law. and .sadly. her. moms. . DNA. are . there. !she’s. turned .on those .who. nurtured her she’s .betraying u and her Dad Sadly. you can’t do. anything in the end looks. like. she’s going to court. hopefully. she gets . sound. judge. honey. right. now. you mean. nothing. in her mind!! caution how. old. is this guy.?? if he’s older than. Her the judge. might. waver. !!!. Good Luck. let. Daddy. handle. it. more. if. it’s for. her. count. the emotional. losses. but. she. shouldn’t. be. Deprived. of. all. allowances. monthly or. Otherwise. she’s too. old for. that. regardless .the red. no clause. in her. inheritance. by. default. the. money. is. hers. and. hers .alone !!
Social security’s death benefit requires the child to go to school full time to continue payments. The last payment is the month they graduate from high school. So if they’re not going , they’re not entitled to payments at all. Call social security and tell them she moved out and quit school. Your husband will have to pay back all the money he put in savings from the time she quit. Let her take you to court, she’ll only hurt herself. The most she will get is child support from him. She’ll never get that payment she no longer fulfills the criteria to receive it. And you and you husband can get in trouble with social security for not reporting it.
The money is in your husbands name until she turns 18 (21 in some states) keep saving it, support your husband. One day she will look back at this time and realize how not very smart she was.
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The money is actually for the care of her, not to give to her. That’s why it comes every month. She is 17 , still a minor, and supposed to be at home with her parents, not living with a man. Children’s services could actually get involved because she’s not going to school. I don’t know what state you are in, but check the laws in your state. Be careful, until she is 18, her dad is still responsible for her. I definitely wouldn’t give her the money to support her boyfriend. Her dad is right about that part.
If you give her the money now she will not learn that she cant act like that. She will realize that this guy is bad news. Hopefully it is not to late when she does. Hopefully she will come home before November. I wish you luck
Your husband is right. Also, in the eyes of the law, you have no say in the issue. Nor are you allowed to access the funds.
let her learn the hard way she will come around
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Don’t do it. Sadly, she may end up like her mother.
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Don’t give it to her and when she takes you to court she’ll have to hire a lawyer which she probably can’t afford so it won’t go to court.
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If he let her leave give her the money she is on her own. Her dad did the right thing but here’s the thing is it worth endangering your lives? Or the drama?? Just give her the money your husband already let her move out.
Firstly it cost money to go to court so if that’s what she wants let her…the hardest part of parenting is when they grow up because we no longer have influence (unless they accept it) watching our adult children make mistakes is hard…stick to your guns and hopefully by November she will see things clearer…
She needs an intervention! What she thinks she wants at 18 is not what she will want when she’s 30! I would try to take a lot of that money and put it somewhere else, no matter how
Much she’s pissed! She will thank you later!!! I know! I was that stubborn love struck teenager! Worst mistake of my life!!
The money will just get wasted. I would try looking into that relationship shes got to make sure she is OK!! Doesnt seem good to me at all. I wouldnt give it to her. She will thank her dad in later life for saving it
stand by yr husband he is the one to sort it she is his daughter after all
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He has to report she is not in school an moved out an will have to appoint another payee to handle the funds but she will b cut off due to not being in school. If he does not report either he will be responsible for paying back all the money . She also can request that he be taken off an appoint any adult 18 or older to be her payee . Been here done this . It will all end when she turns 18