Shes throwing a tantrum. Stick to your guns and support your husbands decision. You and your husband are a unit. If she quit school she has time for a job. Besides, you’re not on the account, nor are you her legal parent. Let your husband take the lead on this one, sis.
5 Likes
Listen to your husband. Don’t reward bad behavior.
2 Likes
The drama won’t end even if you give her the money now so I say stick with the original agreement. Also isn’t she going to be 18 soon? The amount of time she waits for family court probably wouldn’t be much different than her waiting to be 18.
1 Like
It’s like child support. It isn’t her money. It’s money to be used to raise her!!
4 Likes
Maybe get her dad to talk to her about taking the GED. Tell her if passes can get it early. If not…has to wait until is 18. At least tried to compromise then. She cant win in court. Guardian has control until 18.
She is lucky he is even saving it and hasn’t been having to use it to pay bills all this time. But I have a feeling once ahe gets it the boyfriend will take it from there.
3 Likes
That boy is desperate to get his hands on HER money . 
8 Likes
I actually thought the money had to be used not saved! So their shouldnt be that much money in the account anyway! It’s to help pay for her care like power, water ect! I do NOT know this for a fact but was told this buy two people that lost their spouses. So maybe it’s different! Draw it out save it in a different account and keep it for later!
1 Like
let the dad handle it. he’s doing the right thing. the boyfriend wants the money. I hope she leaves that boyfriend safely. Tragic for her! Dad’s got her back whether she likes it or not.
10 Likes
You might want to put it into a trust fund, that she can’t touch until she’s 21. Or 25.
10 Likes
Let dad handle it!!!
It’s almost November… She can wait.
Dad did tell her the rules…
1 Like
He’s doing the right thing!!!
3 Likes
Be there as much as you can for her…if the boyfriend was showing controlling behavior before…she was probably afraid when you guys weren’t going to let her see him.
I’m sure the boyfriend is in her ear too with the money situation… it sounds like things are stressed between you all but still make sure she knows you guys are there if she needs you…and just check in here and there on her.
When I was that age…the more my parents told me not to do something…the more I wanted to do it.
8 Likes
On this im with your husband…he set a boundry…she crossed it…consequences as set . …she will pout for a while, then she’ll be 18 and will get the $$.
2 Likes
Debts keep piling up regardless of how many jobs you do. It’s sad that regardless of the cutting down of expenses, there’s still not enough to settle the bills. A friend however told me about Martin Floyd Hodgson and what he does in helping people with financial problems. Though skeptical at first, but I figured a try won’t hurt. I started investing with him and received a shocking weekly profit. Sounds too good to be true, but it’s the truth. Ever since then I’ve been able to clear my debt and done some nice things for my wife and I. Investing in bitcoin actually made the difference for me. It can for you too.
Don’t draw it out keep it in savings her boyfriend probably wants the money
8 Likes
Don’t reward bad behavior
6 Likes
If she is 18 and dropped out of school her check will stop. And … she needs help… that boy is dangerous… she’s already brainwashed 
maybe give her a call or a text and ask her to go for an ice cream or a coffee for mom/daughter time (often) and reinforce how much y’all love her and need her in your lives. Text her. Call her. Drop in to see her. Pick her up and go for a drive. Just to tell her you love her. She may get smart and ditch him before he hurts her physically.
14 Likes
It will end once she graduates or turns 18 unless she goes to college.
1 Like
Dad’s in the right and should stick to it.
1 Like
Worse case scenario she could be in a domestic violence dispute and her freak out could have been in fear of him leaving or hurting her. I say stick it out but make sure you reinforce to her that you love her and you’re still there for her.
3 Likes
Sad that she will get the money at 18. She sounds very irresponsible.
If the money is in the father’s name I would hold out until she’s shows responsibly in her life. I bet your husband could have claimed it through the years. It takes more than a SSI check every month to raise a child
3 Likes
I agree with your husband. She’s going to thank her dad later. Stick by your husband’s wishes. This boyfriend is only temporary !!!
5 Likes
Don’t give it to her. As hard as it is. Stand your ground. The boy friend is her drug of choice. Don’t enable her. Tough love. The only thing you can do is remind her you love her and that you’re always there for her.
4 Likes
OMG…Serious Mental Instability concerning the daughter & boyfriend needing Proper & Urgent Help is screaming out in this story. Both on a downward spiral! Are they doing drugs?? Anyone cared to find out?? That could be the only way into their lives to bring them out for therapy. Someone listening out there? This story screams nothing but HELP!
5 Likes
Your husband is right and he should stick to his guns. That money is in his name to help provide for your daughter. Not for her to spend on her loser boyfriend. Please believe that’s who would be spending the money.
2 Likes
It’s her money for her to use he will get into trouble for NOT giving it to her
Tell him hes doing the right thing. Proud of parejts who stick to their guns!
1 Like
I’m with dad. She is being a brat, don’t back down. She wants to be grown let her find out.
4 Likes
Please, if at any point she wants to come home, let her. & Let her know often that she still has a home…
I did this same thing at 17 & my bf at the time was so abusive mentally & emotionally he forced me to quit school & then I ended up pregnant, then it turned into physical abuse. I eventually became too afraid to leave & I didn’t even have anywhere to go so I stayed until it was almost too late & my son & I almost died bc of it.
As for the money thing, your husband is doing the right thing. Stick to that.
8 Likes
dont do it! She wanted freedom now she has it and now she has to earn like everyone else she knew the rules about the account she didn’t comply oh well now she knows what it’s like to be an adult some times you have to learn the hard way still keep an eye on her because the bf has shown signs of being abusive but don’t give her that money all she’ll do is spend it on him because he told her too it would be ideal to get her away from him but she has to want to leave and she sounds not ready too yet
4 Likes
Well the problem isn’t her I’ll tell you that. This girl is obviously struggling and having a hard time bc of what happened to her mother…. And I would rather my daughter be at home safe, having her bf over bc eventually she will realize it esp if she can two grown ppl (you & her dad) tell her what having someone like that could turn into. Not telling her what to do but just talking to her. And her actually going to school and possibly meeting someone better. Now she’s having to depend on her bf. He has her all to his self. Lord only knows what he’s doing to her or how he’s treating her or what she’s going through. I’m sure he knows about the check, I bet he don’t work and who knows if this was his plan for her to leave and when she turns 18 her and her bf will live off that check and that will be her life. I would tell her to come home and help her get back into school and you will give her two months of the money to go and get her nails done etc and spend the day with her
5 Likes
Nope. Don’t fuckin’ do it. It will all be blown
By law, he can’t hand it over to her until the legal adult age in your state. Probably 18. Go ahead and tell her that. She can’t even afford a lawyer honey, those are just words. Dad knows better and good for him. She needs him to stick to his word, she is a child, she has no idea what she’s doing, and she thinks she knows best right now but she DOESN’T!
My idea, write her a heart felt letter of what teenagers her age think they know and point out the fact that she’s wrong in a nice way.
Make her wait til she is 18
Stick to your guns. She gets it when she turns 18 in November.
From one stepmom of grown children to another, even though you raised her, I’d let her dad handle it. Going against his wishes will only undermine your marriage. Let him make the decisions and handle whatever fallout occurs. Trust him.
5 Likes
Stick it out! Giving in now solves nothing and shows them acting this way gets them what they want! Tough love
Let her take it to court.
3 Likes
Put the $$ in a trust that won’t allow her to touch until she’s at least 25. A girl that age will just blow the money with nothing to show for it. I hope things get better for all of you.
9 Likes
Her checks stop at 18 or when she’s out of school.
Support your partner in his decisions when it comes to parenting.
I’d also let the stepdaughter know that although you don’t have a clear understanding as to her thoughts and feelings, her behaviour is effecting you all as a family and that you can’t/won’t tolerate it.
Be calm and kind when saying it, and remind her that if she wants to take it all to court etc then that is her decision, explain how it will effect the family but also let her know the door will always be open for her should she ever feel like she needs/wants her family.
I, at a similar age, acted out in a similar way to this when I was 18 all because of a boy. My family fought me at every turn and my little naive mind thought I was in the right. It got to the stage where my family told me they couldn’t do it anymore and let me crack on with what I believed was best for me but they always kept the door open for me.
Thankfully I came to my senses after a lot of bad life decisions and started to make amends with my family. 10 years on and we are better than we have ever been.
Don’t give her the money, give her the choice- continue this behaviour and suffer the consequences with the option of the family being there for her when she needs you, or, work as a family together to get through this messy mishap of a young mind trying to find her own feet.
I hope it is a good outcome for you all and wish you all the luck and support x
3 Likes
“Tough love” “she’s being a brat” “she’s throwing a tantrum” 
these comments are ignorant. She’s obviously having mental health issues. And isn’t coping well with what happened to her mother. Take all of that and top it off with an abusive manipulative boyfriend. And you get what you’re dealing with. You would have been better off not banning him. And casually helping her see how toxic he is.
3 Likes
It’s not even her money, it’s money to supplement a parent being out of the picture, I would give her nothing with that nasty attitude. She wanted to be out on her own show her how it really is.
3 Likes
Stick to your guns and file harassment charges if it continues
Tell her to get a job shes 17. Stick to it. Dont give in!! Lesson learned for her. On her 18th birthday hand it all over and thats that.
Legally isnt it his until then? So let her hire a lawyer with her no money lol.
2 Likes
Tell her go get a job she wanted to be an adult go live like one… Don’t give into her manipulative tactics he will be behind her wanting it back… Stick to your husbands guns or it may cause the end to your marriage
3 Likes
When she’s 18 it ends anyway but technically the money to support her not for her to spend and use
3 Likes
It’s in his name leave it to him
1 Like
Do not give in. Stick to your guns. She will lose in court. She will also thank you later! Maybe not for a few years lol but it will come. Stay strong mama!
5 Likes
Nope not until she’s 18
1 Like
Let her dad Handel it
1 Like
That money is there for him to take care of her. He don’t have to give her a dime. It’s death benefits kinda like childsupport if the mother was alive and had to pay. That’s why it’s stops at 18 bc she becomes an adult. She ain’t acting like an adult she’s acting like a spoiled brat throwing a tantrum until she gets her way. If tell her to just forget about and hold on to it even longer until she can do something smart with it. She didn’t hold up her end of the deal.
1 Like
I think dad is doing good not giving in! Obviously this boy is skewing her decision making rn. She is not 18. And she is not sticking to a simple request to maintain her grades! I’d say heck no! Sounds like your husband has the right idea!
2 Likes
Let your husband stand his ground, he’s doing the right thing.
3 Likes
My kids draw death benefits as well, and if they were to drop out of school then they would lose said benefits. They can also only draw them if they are in school only for 19 years and two months. I know this bc my daughter turns 19 just school will start next year. And just before she turned 18 they sent her paperwork to where it goes directly to her.
So, she’s not in school - nobody gets the money
1 Like
I wouldn’t have been giving her all of the money from the begin with 
that’s not teaching her responsibilities or how to be a decent member of society . It’s taught her to expect handout for no reason. The money was to help pay for her needs . Let the brat throw her fit .
If this is in the U.S she can actually go to the social security office herself and have them send those checks directly to her. I know because I lost a parent at 13 and when I was 17 I was of age to receive the checks myself. So make life easier and let her have the checks. Only the future ones keep the money in the savings account tho that u already have until she’s mature enough for it. But let her spend all the future ones they r rightfully hers
First off she’s a minor. So you can call her in as a runaway. There’s these things you can do called an ARY (at risk youth) basically you go to court and tell the court she’s out of control and they step in an basically make her follow rules set by you such as crew-few staying in school and you can even request the court to not allow her to have contact with the boyfriend or his family if she dose not follow these rules then she will go to juvenile detention.
Please keep her away from him. I got involved with some one when I was 15 he was 17 I ended up pregnant at 16 and he was extremely abusive. I was put on an ARY by my mother. Due to personal issues within my family the court took custody of me not because I did anything wrong but because of abuse in my home. It ALWAYS starts with controlling behavior wanting to know everything. That turns into isolation and mental and emotional abuse and eventually physical abuse. I was with him for 6 years before I was able to safely get my kids and myself away from him… please protect her she will scream and yell but when she gets older who knows you could have saved her from abuse unlike anything she knows
Absolutely not! She has to be RESPONSIBLE to get it… Dad is definitely RIGHT!
1 Like
Stick to your husband’s words
I’m appalled that yall gave her any money at all. That was to help support her it was meant for your husband not her. I’d spend it
1 Like
If she has no money I doubt she will be taking anyone to court over it, stick to ur guns it’s might cause arguments between you and your partner if you give in its only till Nov, let her realise you actually have to work for money in the real world you don’t just get it handed to you, good luck with it all x
1 Like
Let her dad handle it. He’s her father, support him and stick by his side.
7 Likes
100 Absences? Omg you guys can get in some trouble for that.
1 Like
Dont give in. Its a hard leson she needs to learn
1 Like
Back up your husband. He’s doing the right thing for his daughter. Marriage is a team effort. Going behind his back would be wrong on so many levels.
11 Likes
Let Her Daddy Handle And He Not Wrong
2 Likes
Your husband is doing the correct thing. The controlling boyfriend could be hounding her for the money as well.
6 Likes
Stick to your guns. If it goes to court so be it. Then hand it over if forced.
4 Likes
Your husband is doing the right thing. I’m not sure she mature enough to even get it in April.
7 Likes
She’s likely suffering domestic abuse if he’s controlling, you need to get her out of there. Often abused people end up projecting their abuse onto others, like how bullies bully. She’s a child, bring her home, let the whole thing go and get her some therapy
4 Likes
She will loose it taking y’all to court, she only gets that benefit if she maintains in school full time and maintains a passing grade in all classes, that’s a SSA rule and as soon as she turns 18, those funds will stop immediately. You need to stick to Dad’s plan and inform him of this & support him in the decision making. If she takes you to court report to SSA that she moved out and they will immediately stop all benefits as that too is included in their rules, read the pamphlet they gave you when they approved her for benefits.
4 Likes
She dropped out. Husband needs to report it to SS to avoid trouble. It’s hard to watch loved ones make mistakes they could easily avoid but she seems determined to make life hard for herself. Hopefully she’ll wake up before it’s too late
2 Likes
I would personally stand by your hubby…he made the rules and you should respectfully stand by him on it.
5 Likes
No, no and no. Dad told her what was going to happen and she did the opposite of the agreement.
Since she’s a minor I wouldn’t have even let her leave the house 
but you need to stick by what your husband says
5 Likes
Do not draw it out and disregard the hard work already. We don’t get what we want for free, she needs to be clean of the abusive relationship though and you guys need to help with that
2 Likes
Take the boy out and get your daughter back!
1 Like
Family court wouldn’t give her money. So she can threaten all she wants. It’s just words.
3 Likes
I agree with her Dad
3 Likes
Dont give in. As long as he has put the money in savings and not spent it I dont see the courts (if she goes) disagreeing with this plan. If she hasnt been at school she should have been working and $ wouldn’t be a problem anyway.
2 Likes
I agree with your husband & you should back him. Tough love is hard on you also but in the long run, it will be best for her.
5 Likes
To make sure all is done properly and legally, so just in case problems can be avoided for down the road, I’d say it wouldn’t hurt to seek professional advice. Also, I really think the girl is scared of any type of consequences her boyfriend could give her. Right now she sounds like she’s sucked in deep, and she’s got the worst adviser by her side and he’s taking her away from her family. I bet her boyfriend depends on her and she’s running out of options. Why is she missing school and not doing well with her grades all of the sudden? I’m hoping she doesn’t have to work instead of studying, destroy her potential and life opportunities for a guy who just is destroying her. Btw, isn’t it illegal for a minor to live outside of their house without parents authorization, without any documentation? Idk. Also, is her boyfriend older than her? I would act before she turns 18. Tough love is better than not knowing you are loved.
2 Likes
Keep out of it I don’t mean that in a bad way your husband is dealing with it so just stick by your husband and what he says he’s not doing it to be nasty or hurtful but he told her what would happen if she didn’t stick to what he requested her to do
5 Likes
Stand by your husband all the way your daughter will probably thankyou in the end
7 Likes
Turn it over to the social security office and then they will handle it from there and he won’t have to do anything anymore
2 Likes
Your husband made a decision you should have a United front against your daughter.
4 Likes
Change the account. Put it in her name. Let her learn from her own decisions. No one listens when it comes to learning life lessons.
Just give it to her she almost 18 not like sh 12 or 2 juT end it no dontnlet it keep going forn3 more months
Im on your hubbys side. And i would personally put that savings into trust til shes 25. And old enought to be able handle money. My fear will be the bf will spend it on himself.
Dad wasnt blinded by love. He has her back and she needs stop acting like a spoilt bratt
Stand by your man
22 Likes
Back husband. I’d make her come home also and get her either back in school or a ged program. It’s hard for me to say how I’d do it because my kids are super little. I once saw you could call an officer to go with you to pick her up. I imagine she’d fight like hell and be terrible in your home but gosh- in like 2 years she’d thank you. That boy is toxic to her apparently. She may think it’s love now but it’s not if he’s keeping her from her true potential- you said she had great grades before him.
1 Like
Her dad failed her. She could sue you all for child neglect alone. She’s 17! YOU call the shots. If you noticed that her boyfriend was dangerous, you do everything in your power to step in. What you don’t fucking do is kick her out of the house because her judgement is clouded. She is in danger now. This is sickening.
Absolutely not give her it and she wouldn’t get it at 18 whilst being with this boy either if she was one of mine. 
Coming from the kids point of view in retrospect i wish my parents hadn’t let me leave just because it was easier than fighting with me and calling cops to find me. This is embarrassing to comment because idk if it will pop up on people I knows newsfeed but I think kicking her out to be with the guy full time is a lot worse than her living with you guys and seeing him sometimes. Not sure how that helps her if he’s not good for her. Kind of late now that she’s almost 18 I guess but still doesn’t make much sense…
Stick by ur husband’s side ur husband made the right decision
2 Likes
Well she would have to have money to file anything in the courts, which by the sounds of it, she doesn’t. Being that they money can’t be handed over to her until she is 18, I’m thinking she will have a hard time getting it until then. Unless, she is emaciated or files to be.
3 Likes
I have a friend that went though pretty much the same thing but with a son, her son went to a attorney and the attorney told him (the son) my friend (his mom) doesn’t have to give him any money because all of the money from social security was/is child support to help care for the child. Stand firm with your husband, also tell your daughter she doesn’t have any money next time she call asking for it.
5 Likes
It will end a month before she is 18 unless she is enrolled and going to school .I would definitely not give her that money until she is 18 .if she needs something buy it keep receipts. I’m with your husband.
3 Likes
Make the boyfriend disappear.