Back your husband.hopefully she will come to her senses over this boy but if not then when she is 18 if you must give her it by law then do.But always let her know she is loved and has a home with you if things go wrong.
- She IS NOT A ADULT. MAKE her move home, and do her shit. I WISH my 17 year old would thinl she just gonna bounce and do as she wants. Truancy still falls on yall.
Its 18 only if graduated. At least in my state. And it goes to CARE OF KID. Not for monsters and weed
Let her suffer, she’ll get that money when she turns 18
Back your husband 100%
STAND YOUR GROUND. BACk YOUR HUSBAND.
Why did you let a minor leave the house?
Back your husband up or u probably will. End up losing him .
When she’s 18 the SSA will send you a letter asking how much of the money is left over. They expect you to return any leftover money. The money is specifically to be used for the care of the child. A trip to family court will be serving the money back to SSA on a silver platter. Everyone will lose. At that point they will demand any money back.
Give her a small allowance to live on then the test when she is 18 but then again mom took her money when she was 16 and enrolled at texas women’s university and became a sucessful nurse but most of all was a stay home mom
Making her financially dependent on a controlling partner isn’t going to help her
Hey we all need spending money for food
It’s her money bc her mother died. I got charged back by ss after 40 years bc they overpaid my stepfather. Took me a yr to get my tax return back. In the end - it’s her $
She’s under 18 and her parents let her move out?
The way we do things down where I live (Mexico) is if we don’t like the boyfriend, she gets rid of him whether she likes it or not. And she doesn’t move out till we feel she’s ready to. Even if shes 25 by then. And if she tries to take us to court for it, then let it be so. Our daughter will do what we say for her own good wether she likes it or not. So in this case. I would let her take me to court.
“Oh you’re stepmom”
Y’all need to shut up. Sounding real bitter right now.
Respect her fathers decision.
I wouldn’t give it to her. That’s me. I wouldn’t spend the money though either. One day she’ll probably come to her senses. Then, that’s when I’d give it to her.
I’m with dad, being young you don’t understand the harm that you can do.
I agree with Peggy Vriesman back your husband… Do not reward bad behaviour.
It’s not her money - it’s for her expenses. The money is for her upbringing. Yes, it would be nice to be able to give her the money. But that helps her in no way at this point - it will only be rewarding her bad behavior/attitude. Keep the money in an account that she has no access to, to pay for when she wants to live with and follow your rules. She is not a rational thinking adult at this time. Please don’t reward her bad behavior. Hopefully she’ll mature sooner rather than later, get her act together, and you can use the money for her college, etc.
Don’t do it, let her learn. Keep it in savings until your force to do it.
Don’t do it ,she needs a ass whooping,why would she even be allowed to see him at all? What a miserable situation she’s putting herself into, stand your ground ,and definitely side with your husband
I’d back dad. At 17 they think they know everything. Hopefully by her 18th birthday, she has realized what a douche her boyfriend is and she can mend her relationship with her parents. Stick by your husbands decision.
Back up your husband
Tell her it will be given to her upon her completion of high school or equivalent
Other boy only wants the money
I’m with her dad on this
Until she’s 18 she cannot have it. She need to be emancipated from him first. I would call SS and ask if he is within is legal rights. Also since she is in a abusive relationship I wouldn’t of let her leave. I would of taken her to a hospital and for her help for her mental health. She is in danger.
Legally she can’t take you to family court because she is underage, she moved out and it doesn’t sound like she got emancipated so there for your husband is doing the right thing. I would leave it in there until she turns 18 so he doesn’t get in trouble.
Nope, she made that decision knowing the outcome. It’s probably him billing her to get it anyway.
Don’t give it to her. Stick to the hubby’s decision. If you do, you’re just asking for another fight with the hubby
Dad is right not 18 even if she sends you to court they will tell her the same.
Not to mention the bf has control clearly . He wants free money
Technically she got the money to be used for her, nothing about saving it. So every time she is demanding and rude take it out for food, clothes, wants that she received over the years and then when she turns 18 give her what little is left or nothing left send her an IOU. That was money to be used for her needs and wants. You all did that.
Stick to it! She trys to take yall to court and she’s going to look like an even bigger fool than she already dose.
I would be right behind her dad.
I agree with dad. But, it also seems like she may really need help with a narcissistic relationship. She’s too young to know the signs unfortunately but it doesn’t seem happy. I know it’s not easy, but I say try to keep getting thru to her. Or maybe some friends can.
It is her money give it to her
I wouldnt have let her move out tbh. She clearly needs some.support to get away from a potentially dangerous relationship, not to be pushed further into it. Shes stuck now.
Support her dad . Start documenting everything . If it goes to court, the court needs too see what this narcissistic boyfriend is like . He’ll hang around till she’s 18 and get her money and he’ll be off . Fight for her . She needs you both even if she can’t see it .
Defiantly stick by your husband on this.
If she had stayed in school and went on to college she could of drawn on it till out of college. Hopefully by November she’ll see that her dad is right.
It’s not her money. That money was given to her dad to help raise her since her mother passed away. He should hold on to it and save it for when she is going to need it because he will be there to catch her when she falls.
Dad is right don’t ruin your marriage Mind your business on this one
I’m sure the guy knows about the money and want it from experience protect her while she’s to teenage to protect herself
I would drag her ass back home until she is 18 and make her go to school
My SSI stopped when I turned 18 due to Ronald Reagan and a swipe of a pen! When did it start up again? And no! She is not entitled to that money! She is in a very toxic relationship and needs to get out!!!
Stick to it. Let her take y’all to family court. By the time it gets processed she’ll be 18 anyway.
She can’t afford to take you to court without her money call her out on her bluff
Dont give in to her. Thats what she wants, orrrr maybe her boyfriend knows about the money & is trying to get her to get all the money out possibly…? Idk all I know is you shouldn’t give in to her. Hopefully when she turns 18 she will realize why dad didn’t give her the money. Family court aint gonna do anything becuz she ain’t supposed to have it til 18
The boyfriend is manipulative and wants her money, too. They will have it all spent in a year, guaranteed. Been there, done that. I should have listened to my parents. That guy landed me in MASSIVE debt making me take out lines of credit (he had shot his own credit by then). Keep the money and make her come to her senses. Let her take you to court, if you can prove you’re not spending it and just waiting until she’s 18 they won’t do anything.
You stand your ground !! Your husband is right in sticking to his guns !!! Need more parents like him
It’s the boyfriend that’s making her get it it’s so obvious. Been through this before myself mw thinking my boyfriend at the time was good etc when all he was was a money grabbing parasite x
Continue doing what dad said he was going to do. Leave it in savings.
Let her learn the hard way. I wouldn’t give her any money.
Mind your business, it between him and his daughter, and if that what he says then that’s it.
Maybe it’s the boyfriend who’s after the money . I’d keep control of it for as long is legally possible.
That’s actually not her money. That is your money to take care of her, like child support from the dead parent. When she turns 18 it’ll stop. I wouldn’t give it to her either. Support your husband and just wait for the other shoe to drop with the boyfriend.
Lord let her wake up and realize that pos is exactly that. A pos. He’ll do her like that for the rest of her life. What y’all done will more than likely hold up in court. Don’t let down.
and if you do give it to her make her pass a drug test first …i know shes young but it is completely possible for him to of gotten her on something. if you suspect she is using he can go to court and get power of attorney over her money to save it until she gets it together but i pray thats not the case. do not go get her the money…
As soon as she gets that money it will be gone. Unfortunately it sounds like she’ll have to learn the hard way.
Stay out of this one let dad handle it. I agree dad is doing whats right he is sticking to what he said was going to happen.
It’s not your account to draw from. Why does she even know about the account? Although that is her money, if she is not following the rules they she shouldn’t get the money. She dropped out and wants to be an adult she needs to get a job. Let her take you to family court. Have your husband tell the judge that him and her agreed she needed to do good in school and decided to drop out. Have your husband ask the judge if he can further the age to 21.
Back dad up, period.
Ok I’ve been here. The bfs objective is to make her dependent on him. He’ll take all her money, ruin relationships she has with you, dad & everyone else. This way when she realizes this relationship is toxic she can’t leave & is stuck in this abusive relationship. Do NOT give her that money. Not even in November when she’s 18. Save it for her in an interest building account or invest it. That way when she leaves him she has money to start a life. He’s convincing her that THEY need that money to live. It won’t be her money spend. Tell her if she comes home & finishes school her needs will be met & you’ll give her an allowance to spend on herself. Put it in a card so you can monitor her spending & gage responsibility. They aren’t going to take you to court. That will cost money. Even if she does the worse that’ll happen is the judge will order you to give it to her which is doubtful. Call her bluff. In the meantime keep record of behaviors so you have a basis to show the judge your stand. It’s hard to watch our children make bad choices. I’m sorry you & hubby are going through this.
i was that girl with a little bit different back story but i met a crappy guy at 17 who knew about my money i was skipping school almost didn’t graduate i ended up getting my money and he took all of it for drugs… i wished my aunt didn’t allow me to take my money now looking back obviously at the time i thought i loved him and he the same but the longer i stayed with him the more dangerous he got. my dad banned him front when house. they gave me the option to stay or leave with the boy i left with him. almost the same story to a T except my aunt had control of my money not my dad. i hope you guys get through this i know i was hard to deal with
Always back up your spouse. He sounds like he is doing the right thing.
She has to have money to take you to court, and im sure she don’t have any… do not break, she should have followed the rules
I hope she knows court costs money LOL soooo where will she get that ? Youre taking these threats way to serious . So much can happen from here till she turns 18 trust me . As in , her bf leaving her … she will be back to you all Trust me.
We had a similar situation revolving around the money and bad boyfriend part of it. We eventually let her have it and within 1 year it was gone. She finally came around when the real world crashed in on her. 12 years later, she’s a college grad with a degree in HR administration. She lost the control freak and we have two awesome grandkids and a daughter who is great.( control freak is completely out of the picture.)
You must stick to your words and mean it. Let Dad handle it!
Tough love hun. She made her bed. No is No and stick to it. She will thank you one day. I was an a$$hole teen. We cone around.
Stand behind your man.
That money is like child support so it should be used to support her not just given to her. It’s not her money
Regardless, you need to back and be united with your partner 100% x
Stick with what dad said. Go to court if she wants and let the judge know everything.
Stand behind your husband. It’s pillow talk influenced by the boyfriend. Praying this part of her life ends quickly!
Stick with what Dad has said. Seems like he has this situation well in hand.
She’s under 18. Let dad stick to his word and she can have it then. Court would rule in dads favor anyways.
Stand behind your husband. Remind her every chance you get that you love her and want what is best for her. It’s not like you’re spending the money. You’re saving it for her. Pray for her if you’re not already. The blessings that come from a praying Momma whew! I am so grateful that mine was praying for me. I left for college, lost my ever loving mind until I was about 21. Remember her frontal lobe is not fully developed, you’re her parent, not her friend, and though she feels she needs a friend right now, she really needs a good parent. And it sounds like you and your husband are good parents. If she wants to take you to court, she will likely change her mind as soon as she finds out what’s really involved
Stand behind your husband. No other words needed.
Yep stick to your words!!!
I’d continue doing exactly what you’re doing. He could have her put into the system until she turns 18 since she doesn’t want to stay at home or stop harassing you. I’d let her know that is still an option. CPS will knock her down a peg.
I think family court would side with the dad. It’s not like he’s refusing her money and using it for himself. He has proof that it’s been put into a separate account each month and saved.
at her ages she is listening to her boyfriend, Her dad is right, He doesn’t have to turn it over to her. And if she marries him she loess the rest of the money, I believe, And if her mother never worked, She would have only gotten the benefits until she was 16 . And she is 17 now,!!! I would just keep your mouth shut, this BF is controlling her, unfortunately. If she is smart, as you said she is, she will see & hopefully soon, she will leave him
I wouldnt take it out for her but id maybe arrange 1 day you bring here to get the stuff she needs some groceries person hygiene stuff or w.e she may need that way she has basics but cant just waist it and have fun with it
Block the boyfriends numbers and keep the money until she’s 18. You don’t have to engage with their behavior. You can block her too. And if they are coming on your property and threatening you file complaints with the police.
Tough love
DO NOT! Let this man stick to his guns. She needs to learn that actions have consequences and she obviously chose what to do. She KNEW what was laid out for her, option wise. She will get over it.
stay out of it…ket them hash it out…i would support your husband… .she needsto kearn what the rules are and what will happen if not folliwed…dont give in
The Money Is for her. Support from her deceased father. So as long as you are not spending it on yourself and put it in a savings account for her! You are doing the right thing! She cannot legally touch that money until she turns 18. So it does not matter whether she takes you to family court or not she cannot legally take that money until she turns 18 it can be transferred to another legal guardians account but not to hers unless you personally choose to do so as her guardian!!! If you give it to her now it goes straight to the worthless boyfriend. Who let or encouraged her to leave her home because of him before she was 18. It is clear she is not responsible enough for the responsibility of money
Stick to the plan. She doesn’t have money for a lawyer so that’s probably an empty threat. Sadly, November is only 3 months away and she’ll get the money then and probably just throw it away. She chose her path and knew the consequences.
Dad is soooo right on this one!
I’m glad her dad has stuck to his guns get an attorney show her what’s right and what’s wrong …she needs to get away from that boy but the harder you push the closer she will get to him it’s hard .Thing is though she is 17 ide make her butt come back home she isn’t her own boss and when she turned 18:she could leave so your best bet is to bring her back home keep her safe and take stuff away from her that she can contact him with yeh she may throw a fit but eventually she will get over it
She’s wants to be an adult go to court let her get a taste of being an “adult”
He needs to stick to his guns and withhold the money but she still needs you to be her mum. Please keep as many lines of communication open as possible so that if/when she comes to her senses about the boy then you can be there for her.
Let her dad handle it. Dont go behind his back. That will cause more problems.
Stand by your husband! I can assure you she isn’t the one using the money he is. Been there and tough love is what she needs.
Technically the payments were & are for the expense of raising her… for her monetary needs… So that money is & belongs to those that cared for & paid for her needs. It would be the caregiver’s discretion of where & how the money should be spent. I say college fund .
That money is for the father to take care of the child… I wouldn’t give it to her at 18… open a trust make her wait until 21 or 25 years old… she’s not mature enough apparently. Good luck
Dads got this!! Stick to what he says