If you give her the money, you are enabling a destructive life choice that she is making. You would share the responsiblity for the damage she does to herself and her future. It’s hard to be strong when you want to love them, but it’s destructive to enable them in their self destruction. A tough situation, but you should ask for some professional help in intervening in her life. It sounds like a Dr Phill show.
The boyfriend is gonna take it all and dump her …after he beats her up!! You need to have ss check into whats happening to her before she ends up in a casket !
Give it to her the money stops at 18 because she is not in school. You have to practice tough love. When my daughter was getting SSI payments due to her father, she turned 18 in March and I had to get special compensation because she didn’t graduate until August that year and the minute she graduated it stopped.
First it was never her money was to support her. Very great to put into bank account for her now next step put into trust account with release to her when she turns 25 that’s about the time her brains will turn back on until then do the baby bird let her fall or fly on her own. Is so very hard but tough love is just that tough but you love them girls are rough to get thru this just keep doors open bring a tissue for the tears and hold on to your hat. The ride gets bumper as you go. Good luck
Honestly saying he wasn’t allowed in ur home because of his behavior towards her seemed like the big mistake. If they are around you then you can see the direction of the relationship and monitor the safety of the situation possibly point out the things you feel she should not tolerate in a relationship. In all honesty you pushed her away instead of trying to be there for her. No 17 year old likes admitting they’re wrong and she chose to date this guy so she’s not going to be swayed by you placing such a firm boundary.
I’m so sorry this is happening. I would suggest you seek some professional help. Depending on your state, if she does take you to Family Court, they may require family counseling as part of the process. Take care…
Nope stick to what you said. I would put the money in a trust and not give it to her until she straightens her life out.
Stick together she is going to try and play you against each other. Xx
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Her Dad’s right, stay out of it. If she hasn’t returned to school before her 18th birthday Dad;I would contact SS and inform them if her current status. She ccyuywill have to pay money back, and believe me they will hound her till they get the funds back.
Wow I would say yes he needs to stick to his guns. Sadly the system is going to rule in her favor. Once she’s 18 he has no control over her if she doesn’t live in your home. She will learn real quick what life is all about.
Your husband is right. She knew the consequences; therefore, she should live with the outcome.
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If she is living with her Boyfriend , then let him take care of her !!
I totally agree with your husband with how he is handling the situation and if I were you , I would let your husband continue to handle the situation .
Children need tough love and I know if your daughter gets the card , then her boyfriend will spend everything and become more controlling !!
Maybe your daughter will eventually " see the error of her ways !!", and see the boyfriend for what he really is ??
Fingers crossed that this is resolved .
It’s hard to see a girl child having to learn such tough love , but I went through something similar with my oldest daughter. She is now married to a great guy , has a beautiful daughter and a very good job !!
It takes a lot of patience .
Wait, I thought SS was until you leave school or turn 18? AAANND I also thought that money is to take care of Her, So why is she even entitled to that money at all? Total awesome for you guys to have built her that nest egg, but I don’t think she has “rights” to it.
Stick to your word. They will blow thru that money that she will need in the long run. I think you guys are doing the right thing. I pray she gets away from him for her sake
Seems her boyfriend is controlling her! Too bad she’s too young and blinded by this so called boyfriend! If she drops out of school I would not give her control of the bank account! He’ll spend every penny then she’ll come crying home!!!
Keep the money in account till she is 35, by then hopefully more mature. Yes 35. She will thank her Dad some day. Its what we are doing.
Stick to your guns sounds like her boyfriend is a problem he may be abusing her hang in there maybe she will see the ligjt before its too late
Do as your husband asked he is worried about her worried about her whole life.
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Stick to those guns! I was unruly. She make sure she stays safe and you guys are there for emotionally and have a safe place for her to stay 
Leave it alone she has to see for herself. My daughter had to go through something like this too. We have never been closer.
Back your husband up on this. Sounds like the boyfriend is behind this whole thing.
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U should stand strongly with Ur husband. SHE can go to court if is clearly stated she gets the money at 18, than it should be. There is Life choices and lessons this is where it begins.
My husband received social security since his father passed when he was 3 months old. He dropped out in 11th grade. They cut his social security off 2 months later. And made his mother pay back the 2 checks she received after he dropped out. But that was in 1998. Not sure how it works now.
Its not her money, it is for the basic needs so her dad is very cool to save it for her. My mom recieved the same thing for my sister and I in our teenage years. Stand with your husband, let him take the lead so his daughter doesn’t try to get in bewteen you two.
As soon as Social Security finds out that she is no longer a student…the checks stop being deposited and your daughter and/or husband will be responsible for paying it back. That happened to my sister. I do Hope that things work out for your family. Kids always think that they know best.
Dont cave in, sounds as if boyfriend is controlling her and her actions. She has no right to it at this point. If the boyfriend see’s your resolve, then game will end and may have no need for her.keep the door open for her to return home
Let the dad handle it.
Besides the funds will continue to be deposited while she’s in school. 18 and not in school it’ll stop. Let her swim till she sinks and learn her lessons.
Her father is right. She is his daughter and he believes in consequences for bad behavior. Don’t second guess him and weaken his position. He is the parent here no matter what you say.
Nope stick to it she’ll just piss it away anyway. I’m sure her boyfriend will have no problem spending it either. Some day she’ll thank you
Love her enough to deny her wishes. Only if a judge orders the money given to her. AND I’d visit the bank and have half of the moñey put into a CD account, or whatever will hold her money locked in for a few years. All her and boyfriend will do is spend everything in a very short time. Plús, when I handled bank money for my 8 year old daughter. When her dad died until she was 18, I was allowed almost $4000 for me for handling it. Had to pay taxes every year. Which came out of her moñey. And every year had an accountant make a report and do her tàxes.
I’d be taking some out and putting it in a CD for later in life for her. She’s going to blow it right away and will have nothing. That $ to care for her in your care so you aren’t taking it from her, you are covering costs that you have incurred caring for her.
First of all do not give her the money because once she quits school she is no longer eligible to recieve it and your husband will be responsible to pay it back. Contact Social Security before making any other decisions.
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It’s not her money. It’s supposed to be used for her care, and if not for her care, saved. Its literally the job of a representative payee. Not to mention, it’s gonna end because she’s turning 18 and done with school.
Get her in counseling she needs help. Does she have a job? Her boyfriend just wants her money.
If you give it to her you may as well burn it. It would be better for her if you did burn it. You can bet the boyfriend will spend it all. Afterwards, he will break up with her when he finds someone that is willing to give him more of what he wants.
Please get her counseling! If she is attracted to this boy and makes excuses for his behavior she will surely wind up married to one like him. That will be a miserable marriage. Been there, bought the tee shirt! However I did get out before it affected the kids, thank the Lord!
That’s awful. Pray for her sounds like guy is controlling yelling at her. Try and get her help to get her away from that guy. She’s only 17… as far as the money if she’s not there still get her things clothes, take her out to eat , love on her, u might not want to give her money but you can get it for her, get her what she needs…telling her to leave like like that i don’t see it as good especially if she’s with a guy like that… .People are saying charge her rent for what she’s not there thats crazy…she’s hurting her mom overdosed. PRAY PRAY PRAY.
Stick to your guns. Kids are so entitled these days. Mine are that way too. You gave tlher the options and she made her choice.
Hold tight. 17 is nothing but drama. I raised 3 girls and we went through more crap. She’ll blow through all of it, don’t give it to her.
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Hold your guns. I believe family court will stick by you.
If not and she gets it. Her consequences will be her’s. This is hard but sometime it’s the best way for them to become responsible for themselves.
You only have to wait until November, and you want to cave? NO WAY. you would be doing all of yourselves a great disservice.
Stick it out…if you can hold onto it when she turns 18 do it…don’t take her crap …ban her if she cannot behave at yours…let her know she is too good for him
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Stay out of it. You knew he came with baggage. You can support either one but ultimately let them finalize the thing. Trust me. You don’t want to break your husbands trust for someone who is not going to spend the rest of their life with u.
Don’t let her have it because the boyfriend will use it up she shouldn’t be able to get it until she’s 21 or older
Stick to your guns!!
Do not draw it out!
Her boyfriend sounds like a bad hat, sorry to say.
Great job dad! And as far as your? Absolutely what the dad said, from the beginning…
Don’t think the drama will end if she gets the money. The money will be gone and she will ask for more. Stand up and stick to your guns. Pray she will come to her senses
No follow the rulers. You say he boyfriend is not good for her. Well you are proving. It. She should not get every little thing she wants She must grow up first
Her dad is right! It’s too bad she’ll get it at 18, too young . Sad situation!
Stick with your husband. Shouldn’t give the money to her until she’s 21. Should take out of savings as court could make you give it to her. That money supposed to be for dad to take care of her,
Boyfriend using her until she gets the $$ then once it is gone so is he. Stand with your husband.
Never give in. Those were the consequences. She knew what they were before hand. This isn’t a lesson just for now, this is a life lesson!
I wouldn’t withdraw it I would wait until she is 18 then let her have her money, she will be responsible for herself, once she’s 18 you cannot control her, nor her money it’s said but it’s true, staying in prayer
Aren’t you legally responsible over her until she is 18? Use your own good judgement. She is not mature enough to make the correct decisions.
Your husband is absolutely doing the right thing! Chances are she’s told the boyfriend about it and he’s only remained interested in her because of the possibility of money. Hang in there!!
DON’T DO IT. Listen to your husband, he is not being controlling, he is saving her from turning over everything to someone who is apparently abusive to her. You want what is best for her and giving her what she wants right now is not what is best for her. She will thank you later when she has her head on straight, has gotten away from the crap BF and is a little older. Right now, her hormones and his mouth are all that she is listening to. Once she doesn’t have the money he wants and she sees what a pos he is, she will be glad she still has a financial future and maybe still even has her relationship with you and her father.
stick with your husband he is right. The money will be gone before you know it if you don’t, as will as the boyfriend (one can only hope)
I can say some teenagers go through this stage. Mine did. I ended up video taping her with out her knowing. Later show it to her. Once she 18 you can not stop her. You can put a restraining order on him. She is a minor. Let the police know about him. My then you can show her how controlling he is. At her eyes he is prefect. Just keep the doors open and if he hurts you inappropriately call me and when he not around. Have her watch the BURNING BED… Good luck 
Stick to your guns. Making you feel uncomfortable is her way of controlling things. Don’t let her win!!!
Make her wait until she is 18, like her dad said, won’t be long and the drama will end and the money will be gone, then what is she going to do
I wouldn’t let her have the money until she’s about 25
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Your husband needs to tell her he’ll see her in court. If the social security is to go toward her care and she’s a minor, usually the parent or guardian is the ‘guarantor’ or person who is in charge of the funds to give to the minor. IF there are legal stipulations as she has to remain in school to receive continued support or be living at home, then social services can stop the payments if they can prove she isn’t present at either. Flip side, is your husband gives it to her, and after its gone? Oh well. She’s on her own. Hard lesson for her to learn and difficult for the parent.
If your name is not on the bank account I would not try to take out the money period. You need to listen to your husband. If she gets that money now, you your husband and the your stepdaughter will all live to regret it. She is too immature to have that much money. Specifically if that bad influence of a boyfriend is around. That money will be gone in no time. Then she will be back begging for money from you and her father.
Give it to her in a grocery store gift card weekly. It is not her money. It is money for her support-to help feed, clothe and put a roof over her head.
That boyfriend will help blow through her money and then most likely be gone when the money is gone…
Support your husband’s decision. Daughter still needs to develop a lot of maturity before getting any money. Just think, if she gets the money, it might be used for drugs.
Your husband is correct. Stick with him.
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Tell her she risks going to court and having the judge hold the money till she is 21.
Make it 21 by then she should have a new boyfriend and be more respectful.
I would go to court to extend it til she’s 21. Obviously she isn’t responsible enough. 
If said boyfriend is 18 he’s dating her illegally since she’s a minor, you shouldn’t of allowed him with her in the beginning.
Wait till she’s 18! Be consistent in discipline and consequences. And good luck and God Bless.
Your husband is right, support him. Remember, you can do anything for a year. Let her struggle for a year, might help.
Stick in with hubby some day she will thank you.
She won’t get any more payments after 18 if she is not in high school, I would keep the money in the account let her try to sue if she wants, give it to her later…like 21
Do not draw it out
Boyfriend probably will get tired her when money runs out completely
YOU should stay out of it. Her father told her what he would do and he’s done it so you need to support his decision. He sounds like a smart and caring father.
No if she needs a place to stay you can get an apartment but not in your husband name and make the payments for her because it’s her money but if you give it all to her her boyfriend going to blow in and start beating the s*** out of he’s not in love with her he’s only there for her money I pray God that she wake up
Honestly let the husband stick to his guns and stick by him let her tough it out
Don’t give into her demands. He is obviously a narsastic person. He just wants what he wants. He will destroy her, use up all her money and max out any credit cards she has. My friends son just went through this same several. She claimed she would kill herself it He left her. She’s still alive and found another mark. I pray for her because she is in a difficult situation and feels that she loves him but he doesn’t love anyone but himself. May se learn soon what he’s about. Be strong and be tough
Stand with dad, boyfriend is a joke. Teach her as a parent.
What is the smartest decision? Does she want the money or the boyfriend? He & she took responsibility to move out & on so suck it up buttercup.
Dad is doing the right thing. Do not enable her.
This is between father and daughter, stay out of it.
Her father is right. Let them take you to court. See what the judge says.
Back your husband. If she doesn’t want to go to school she should get a job and earn money.
Stick to your guns. You are doing the right things. But beware it will get worse, she is being controlled and does not recognize it. The boy friend will blow the money on him. Hope she is strong enough to walk when he does.
She will be told to pay back any benefits received for the year she left school and I know bc it happened to me. My mother died when I was in 11th grade…I got survivor benefits and in the middle of my senior year I dropped out. Well, maybe a year or two later I got a letter that I had to pay back the whole year, even though I was in school for half of the year they said since I didn’t complete that school year the $ received needs to be paid back for the whole year. She better get back in school lol.
I went to SS at 16 , was told guardian has the right to do what they want with the money from my father, told if I left household, or quit school checks would stop
Do not let her have it.until she is 18.just wait.she will than you for it later.i know from experience.
DON’T, you will destroy your relationship with your husband. Wait it out when she turns 18 hand over the $$ and be there for her when it all falls apart. It’s a learning thing for her and it’s a must do for you and your husband.
If you give in , might be taken as a sign of weakness and once the money is gone the harassment won’t stop until you give them your money
Stick with your husband.
Once you drop out of school, social security quits paying, unless you are disabled. Did dad take the money and support her.
He does not have to give her all that money most was used for living expenses that you probably paid for
Stick by yr husband besides the bf will take it now. I would put she can’t get til age 25.
Go to family court. They will see she is not ready. The boy only wants the money which she shouldn’t have told him she had it but she did to get him to like her when it’s the money he likes not her.
i think that she doesnt understand that the SS is to help in her living expenses. If shes not in school SS stops. If her mother were alive shed be paying child suppot.SS after a parents death is to help the dad with her living expenses. Soneobe needs to sit her down and explain to her how it works. since her boyfriend abd her want to kive togetger he should take on the role of support both need to get a job.
Money was to raise her.The child should never been told about it.
Let her take you to family court. You are within the law holding onto the money till she is legally due to have it. Her boyfriend is ptobably pushing her into this behaviour to get the money for himself. She needs to be in the real world and open her eyes to his controlling ways.
The checks stop the month she turns 18. Patients. He’ll find out, she has no more money.
Nothing good comes from allowing a child to make threats in order to get their way. Your husband is right.
I agree with your husband
That’s the Rules hard luck for her
Time to grow up
She made her choice so Demms da brakes