Please, no judgment. So I am a single working mother to 3 children, by three different dads. It wasn’t planned that way, but that’s how it’s happened. The kids see their dads every other weekend on the same weekend so that they don’t miss out on time with each other… they are very close. And also, once a year in the school summer holidays, the kids go their separate ways to their dad’s house for one week. I try and arrange it, so it’s the same week for all 3 of them, so they don’t miss out on time with each other and also it gives me one whole week a year where I don’t have to arrange childcare around work, etc. I have it court-ordered with the eldest dad, so he decides the week three months in advance for the summer holidays that suits him, and I try and arrange that same week with the other two dads. I try and arrange all this around three months in advance, so everyone has enough warning to take time off work or sort childcare while they have an extra child that week. The Problem started last year while child number 2s dad moved in with a new partner. She has two disabled children, and he also has one other child who he has full custody of. So he and his daughter moved in full time with his new partner and her two children. Ever since he has moved in with the new partner he is awkward on his weekends, always showing up late, trying to swap days around and is fighting the argument that he can’t have our child for a whole week in the summer holidays anymore as it’s just too much work for him and her with the disabled children too… Why should my child be pushed out? He loves to see his dad and spend time with his sister over there, but he says I’m selfish in wanting a week to myself when he doesn’t even get a day to himself. When realistically, this is about the children. Our son is used to going to spend a whole week with his dad in the summer holidays, and he has always been super excited for that week with his dad…, yes it benefits me in the sense that I don’t have to worry about childcare and I often use that childfree week to pick up extra hours at work to make more money for my children. He says one of his partner’s children isn’t used to change; therefore, cant is around our son for a whole week. But he and his daughter moved into the property full time… surely that was a huge change and they’d only been dating a short while before and he did stay with them last year for a whole week too… so how much change is it really for my son to stay for a week with his dad like he normally does. Do I go to the courts and look for a court order, so myself and my son, don’t have to go through this stress every year for the next 12 years till he is 18, as last year he battled me for so long about it not being convenient to have him and he did have him, seemingly begrudgingly, in the end…and this year I’m trying to organize it earlier, so he has no excuses and has about six months notice on the week, but he’s already trying to wiggle out of it. I always invite him to nativity plays, parents evenings… any events to do with our son… he never comes… I invited him and his partner and her children to his birthday party last year; they didn’t come…I never ever ask for any help emotionally, financially, or physically I hold everything down well with all 3 of my children. He does nothing extra at all outside having him every other weekend, not even a hair cut… and now he’s battling the one week a year he does have him. I’m just torn. He says I’m selfish, and this is all about me. But my boy loves his dad and his sister and gets soo excited to go over there. He’s hurting his boy ultimately and does not care… it breaks my heart that there are three children that live with him 24/7 only one who is biologically his and the one who doesn’t live with him… our son he seems to be pushing away. I find it especially strange as he has always been very doting on our boy right up until he moved in with his partner. What should I do? Any advice greatly received.
Let it go. Keep your child whenever dad can’t/fails… it will come back to bite him someday.
This has nothing to do with you having 1 week off with no kids…he’s gotten himself into a situation he cannot deal with and that’s just plain sad for your child.
You can’t force him to see the child , it will just hurt the child more because he’ll end up resenting the child and who knows how he’ll be treated when with them . Just do your best to take care of your child, the father will one day regret the time not spent
Send the boy to MY house!
Take him to court and get it in writing… he will ALWAYS find an excuse… Yes he doesn’t have to actually show up but at least your son would know that you tried to make it work… He needs to come 1st…
Seems to me the problem lies with you and not the child. The gf doesnt have a problem with the child he has full custody of, just the child where the mother is involved…sounds to me like a jealousy issue on the gfs part
Enjoy your one-on-one time with your child screw dad
Well as harsh as it may seem u cant order him to see the child though…he can tell the court he dont want to see the child and as much as its harsh they will acknowledge it…an then u have to keep the child right through…
Don’t force a child on any man, not even his father!! Going to court is going to do nothing but maybe cost you money in the end!! A piece of paper will not make dad do anything he doesn’t want to do!! Maybe you can take a day or 2 off when the other’s are off with their dads and do something special with your child that isn’t going to dads!! Just be there for your son, don’t bad mouth dad and eventually your son will see for himself that you tried and it wasn’t you keeping them apart!!
I would never send my child to someone who doesn’t want him. You need to take all three of the dads to court and have child support ordered. You both created your child, both of you are equally responsible. My sons are grown now and my ex-husband, their father walked away from them 15 years ago, but child support was ordered and he paid it. He chose not to see his children which he had a right to. I’ve happily taken care of them, but I expected him to do his part. You deserve that, but more importantly your children deserve it.
Oh honey. Step momma right here and any man worth his salt…or step momma or significant other worth her salt would jump at the opportunity to have that precious baby for a week. Dont let him give you excuses. If our BM offered anytime we’d jump on the opportunity. Sadly she wont even follow court orders. Things like that hurts the kids more than anything and it also hurts his relationship with his sister. You give it to him straight and tell him if he doesnt get his act together and start thinking about his son then you’re taking him to court. As far as the woman he is with…if any woman encourages a man to disregard his own son…then shes not much of a woman. This pisses me off for you…there are men who pray for the opportunity to be a loving father to their kids…and then there are men like this. I’m sorry you and your son are going through this.
Sign over his rights and let him go. Stop trying to control him.
Dont push it. If he is acting g this way imagine how he may act towards his son?! Who cares if you dont get a week off kid free, lots of parents dont, take your boy and treat him special. Let him know he is loved and did n ok thing wrong… no point in forcing it
I know it’s hard to let go because you feel like you need to fight for your child, but I can say this… I have two children two different daddy’s and I’m married now and our baby is heaven. So three different dad’s all ten years apart. My son’s father has absolutely made me loose my mind at times. He’d change days and take my baby out of state and wouldn’t tell me, shows up late and really just didn’t have any respect. Unfortunately your x has at my chosen a family over his child but he will either see it some day or your child will. I don’t want anyone in my child’s life that doesn’t want to be there. I’d tell my son , your dad loves you and you will have a great time on your next visit. It hurts him but it’s real pain that someone he loves is doing and they have to learn to process it too.
My son is 11 and today was dad day. Guess what. My baby is home because he wanted to be home instead. Your child will see their dad’s for who they are. Don’t rake leaves back after they blow away doll.
Stop stressing just put the dad on loudspeaker tell the dad that he can be the one to let his son down. Hand the phone to your son. Bet he can’t do it to the kid and if he did. He doesn’t deserve that boy
I feel getting the courts involved will make the child’s dad even more resistant you can’t force him to take his child and am sure your son will be the one who hurts the most screw the dad let him go get on with it his son will understand 1 day it wasn’t his mam it was all his dad try booking that week off work and enjoy 1 on 1 with your son
If you dont want your child pushed out them compromise a little. So what if its an off week with or plan. Or he needs to take his son on a sat instead of a sunday. Its also not his fault that you had 3 kids with 3 different dads. Its hard to manage and i get why you sync them, but don’t complain he’s getting pushed out if you’re unwilling to compromise a day here and there or an off week.
Any man can father a kid but it takes a special man to be a dad. He’s already shown you that he has a lot of growing up to do. I wouldn’t force a relationship with someone like that because the kid will end up paying for it emotionally. You can’t protect your child over there and your not sure if he’ll protect your son either. I’m sorry but I wouldn’t trust it.
No one forced him to move in with his gf
Make the dad tell him he can’t come then leave it alone.
Dont force the child on dad. & maybe one of the girlfriend kids has autism. Chage is hard for them. They like routine. & I’m a single mom of 5. I work 2 jobs & I don’t get a break haven’t in a very long time. So get over yourself. It’s called priorities.
This is truly a sad situation and one I’ve been through many years ago myself - again it’s not about you and the dang week it’s his selfishness and him bending for his partner and her needs and her children’s needs above his own son’s. Let it go make that a special week for you and your son and the heck with dear ole dad who believe me in years to come is going to regret the pushing away of this loving child of his bc your son is the one who is going to pay the hell if you go through court over this. Not sure how old your son is but in time he will see what his dad has done and hopefully he will still love him even with his mistakes he is making now but he will love you for standing up for him and never letting him down as his dad is doing and will continue to do to him. It’s a hard and sad situation to be in for all concerned but honestly I think your son’s dad bit off more than he himself was prepared for and unfortunately your son is the one who is going to pay for it anyway you look at it and can’t come up with an excuse that is even satisfying to himself. The saddest thing said was about you getting time off and he doesn’t which in all reality is a cop out - you are raising 3 single handedly and he chose to add his own and he doesn’t have your son on a full time basis so he doesn’t have the right to say that at all bc it doesn’t pertain to your child whatsoever. I don’t see his relationship lasting much longer anyway with his attitude but you do for your baby boy and show his dad you can do it with or without him as you’ve been doing that what he was doing was for his son not you to begin with. Good luck sweetie and God Bless you and your precious kids.
I got 3 girls. 3 different dads. All planned. All failed. Not my plan. But life happens. One passed away one is doing a bid of 18 years (she’s two) and the other dad is out of town and a choose when he wants type of father. 
I cut it off and I be the best mother I can be and show them I love them and they are loved and life is beautiful regardless of the people in it. Sooooo be lucky I guess. And decide the best interest of your child.
You can do one of two things. A: Spend a lot of money in court to have a set-week every year (in Ohio it’s a whole month of flipping roles if the dad chooses to). While you’re there make sure any other lose ends like holidays or what not are taken care of too. B: Just drop it and let things go however they’re going to go. He’s either going to eventually completely back out of your child’s life. In that case document, document, document and keep screen shots of everything. Or, he’ll just not have him a week and keep everything else the same. My kids dad barely get them when he’s supposed to. He’s constantly backing out of that. So, I get the wanting consistency for the kids and for them to be able to know him. However, in the long run it’s going to be his loss. He’s the one they will resent and not want to spend time with. They won’t come to him when there’s a problem and he’ll be lucky to be a part of their adult lives. Have your ex tell the kid he’s not coming and why. Then leave it at that. Maybe take him to a beach and have lunch or something during the week he’s home alone with you. You’re still saving money with the other two kids not being there, and you two will get some alone time together.
When you say you don’t ask for help financially, I really hope you mean extra help on top of the child support he should be paying. Stop with the super mom,I don’t need anything, nonsense! If you don’t want to use it…fine, but your child has the right to that money his other parent owes. Save it for their college. Make it a little easier for their future…To be able to go to school without having to work too.
Why dont u schedule your son to go to summer camp during that week, and then REQUIRE him court ordered to pay for the CAMP. see how fast he changes his mind. But on the other hand I would NEVER push the other PARENT to step up to the plate. Because it may cause them to be abusive and take it out on your son. I’m not very trusting
Umm, can’t force it hun. Sorry! Clearly he’s being an asshole. And how the hell is he calling you selfish for him being asked to take his son for 1 week out of the year? Does he realize that you have your son for the other 51 weeks that are in a year? Has he looked in a damn mirror to see who is really selfish? He is clearly making excuses because he just doesn’t want to take him. He’s an asshole. Plain and simple!
Get a court order. This is jealousy bullshit on the gf part and asshole fathering on the dad’s part.
Their relationship is theirs
If that dad doesn’t want to see him it’s not right to force It
Why should all 3 dads revolve their schedules about your wants and plans. That’s ridiculous. Just because you want it a certain way, doesnt mean it needs to or will happen that way. Sounds controlling. You cant tell the other parent when to see their child. If you have a court order for visitation that is one thing however he will have input on that schedule as well, you dont get to create it alone.
Compromise if you feel like your child needs to see his father and loves to see his father. His father bitching about never having free time needs to grow up no one ever told him to get with a woman with children. All your kids don’t need to see their dads on your schedule. Have a heart because what if you have more children and one has a disability, then you’ll know what it feels like. But I would tell him he’s responsible for childcare for that week that he usually sees his child. Don’t force a child on his father no matter how old they are, the kids always see it.
I think you’re right it’s very selfish of him, I think that you’re never making your child life easier by not pursuing child support if you have primary custody of a child because child-support is supposed to be used to improve your child’s life and support your child it’s not a reward for having a child.
Also I’m not defending him I think he sounds like a little bit of a deadbeat and a coward the way you’re presenting it. I think it would be beneficial to say to him hey your kid loves you and it feels like you’re not choosing him over these children who aren’t your biological family and you’ll disappoint your kid. However you can’t force him to do anything and who knows how long he’ll be with this new partner. And it’s really shitty of him to abandon his kid to a new family, that sucks and it’s sad for your kid and I’m sorry that’s happening. You sound like a good mom who is concerned about your kid.
I’m just gonna say you never know what is happening at the fathers home maybe your kid should stay away from all that end it sucks anytime a guy chooses Anything over their existing responsibilities Especially when that’s a kid who just wants to love them.
And you might want to consult a mental health child specialist who might be able to give you the words to explain to your kid why his dad is choosing to abandon him because that’s what it’s coming down to even if it’s not complete abandonment it really is abandonment of his kid and establish routines and contact and even though that shouldn’t have to fall on you to explain that to your kid it’s good that your kid has such a reliable person who loves them and cares for them in their life but I think somebody who’s versed in child mental health would have the right kind of words to give you to give to your kid to explain because your kids gonna wonder why and you don’t want to explain in such a way that your kids going to hate the dad or blame you. Because usually there’s a certain age where kids get stuck in they have to find fault with some thing or somebody to blame and that is not you in the situation
I so can relate. My words may sound harsh, but I am trying to save u and ur son alot of headache and heartache. A court cannot force ur ex to spend time with his child. Even if it is in writing. The only thing that will end up happening is one of two things…u will either get mad and try and stop visitations to protect ur son…or…ur ex will stop visiting him altogether out of spite. I know, the situation sucks, and doesn’t seem fair. But the harsh reality is…there is nothing u can do about it unless u want to try and stop visitations altogether…which will only hurt ur son, and he will resent YOU for it, not only now, but also in the future. As much as it stings and breaks u and ur son’s hearts, the best thing to do is to let it go. Also, another hard truth to accept, is that ur ex may or may not regret his decisions he makes regarding his son…now or not ever. That is why u should just be there for ur son. And if ur ex doesn’t want to explain to his own son why he doesn’t want to take him for a week anymore, unfortunately u will also have to step up to the plate and do the best u can to explain and comfort him regarding that too. Good luck.
It sounds to me that YOU want the week off more than your son. Maybe it is just too much for them for him to stay a whole week. Why would you even want him there for a week when they straight told you it is an issue.
Ok, blah blah… I stopped reading less than half way through…right at the point that you started bitching about forcing the kid on people who don’t want him, because you need your free week. You decided to have three children with three different dads, the fact that those dad’s are not as excited about those kids as you is sad but you brought those kids into this world and you need to be responsible for them. Do not try and dump your kid on someone who does not want him or her for the week. Be a good parent,If those two people do not want your kid for the week then your kid is not having a good time during that week.
If that week isn’t court ordered, then he has no obligation to do it. You can’t force him to see his kid more. Not even trying to convince us will change anything. Unfortunately, kid 2 may half to just spend that week with you or grandparents or something. At least you’ll save on child care for 2 children. That’s a big chunk.
You are the problem. Not the new girl. “His, Hers, and Ours,” just too much drama for all concerned. Hopefully time and trials will work its self out. Prayers
I’m shocked how many people are here calling you selfish. You are not selfish. You sound like a great mother providing for your kids financially alone. You do not use this as an excuse to stop your son seeing his dad but encourage them to have a good relationship regardless of recieving no financial support from him. You deserve one wk out of the year. His priority is to his biological child. Although I’m sorry for the gf as she prob has her hands full. However it’s your ex decision to take that on and should not be at your child’s expense. Your a great mother encouraging a good healthy relationship for your son with his dad 
Take it to court that way there’s a premade arrangement he can’t wiggle out of. The courts won’t see it as unreasonable when you try to give him so much time in advance to make arrangements around it.
Shocked so many are saying you are selfish… Most parents would ban the dads and be awkward… You pick u up extra hours to get more money for your child and so what is she wants a week to herself… What’s wrong with that? Everything was fine before he has a new gf, why should it change to suit him and his misses, she doesn’t even ask for financial support and has them full time… How the hell is she selfish!
I agree with a lot of what people have said about compromise but I would also request child support. You can always put it in account for him but it took both of you to make a baby and one if the reasons he has been able to expand his family is because he has no financial responsibility for this one. That is unfair on the child
So sad when the child loses , but you can’t make him have him and one day dad will have to answer these awkward questions xx
Get the father to sit with his son and explain it to him. It’s not about you or your ex. Your little boy is losing out on dad time so dad should be the one to break the news. Court order sounds like the reasonable way to go where you can both sort out time with your son.
Id also make him pay child support and get court ordered visits and get him to explain why he cant come
File for child support.
Wow some men are just assholes and some females like his gf is really focked up…maybe give him full custody of his son, see what happens then…
That’s a lot of control on your part. Your children don’t need that much time together. I agree time together is important. But making sure they all go at the same time regardless of 3 different routines are going to is a little excessive. Just my opinion we all have one. Did the children demand to spend that much time together? Do they even care? I understand they’re close. But maybe it would be good for some one-on-one time with you. Let them all understand the independence from each other. They don’t have to spend all their time together. As far as the girlfriend she may not like how much control this has on their life. I only say that because your post is so adamant about the children being together I feel that you care more about that than three other lives affected. Which isn’t necessary. Seems more like a control thing. Maybe loosen up on the visitation. Give your children a chance to have one-on-one time with you as well I mean real one-on-one time not just a few hours.
Sorry but sad for the kids that you chose to have with THREE men!! It’s NOT your chose when they get them they either do or they don’t!
You got lucky things worked to your advantage before. In life things and people always change and you have to be prepared for them. You’ll just have to be flexible and accommodate what doesn’t go your way anymore otherwise you’ll be struck with stress.
A man steps up and a boy bargains. Now, you set the example for your children to grow into. Kids follow what they see not what you tell them. Be the example, if you must swap days, swap, you had the 3 kids by 3 dads and it’s your job to make sure each one is happy. You gave that up for 3 baby daddies and their lives without you. Lucky that only one is balking and maybe talking WITH him, not at him…about what he’s doing to his child might help change things back. Just be ready to do what is best for the CHILD and not you or him. The child didn’t choose this life, you did, honor it with their happiness.
Plain n simple, put it to him in writing, he can make life easy and pleasant for your child OR IF you have to go to court, you WILL BE asking for significant child support to make sure that child has a great camp week during the summer.
All of you need to get your acts together!
I would never ever force him spend time with his son. it’s obviously sad for the boy but you can’t change it. I’ll never understand why Father’s act that way, but it’s best not to stress about it. just be there for your son.
Did I get this right…he doesn’t contribute to his support???
If this is right get your butt to court…
I read a lot of comments on you want week off…so what…your never said out having a party you pick up extra shifts…
Why shouldn’t the father have responsibilities with his child…one week a year and some weekends…big deal
I’m truly sorry that he is being an ass…
The kid is the one that suffers the most…
Especially since other kids see their dad…I can see him thinking why doesn’t my dad want me…
He needs to man up
Take him to court for child support
If the dad doesnt want him.there please don’t force the issue. Your son will be made to feel he isn’t wanted there for the week and its better he just not go if that is his fathers attitude.
Sorry. I know how it is to have children with an unintrested parent.
Don’t make him go, they will just make him feel resented and not wanted for that whole week
Why do you want your son around someone who clearly doesn’t want him to be there? Why put him through that heartache.
My only advice is you can’t force someone to be a parent. Unfortunately the “dad” is choosing someone else’s kid over his own and as your child grows he will see that. I would personally stop contact if it were me. There’s no reason to carry it on if he isn’t going to do his part and the longer your son is involved the bigger the hurt will be in the end.
Maybe see which days are better for them and work around that. Or maybe try a Friday-Sunday
I wouldn’t force the week subject. I’m the end your son will be the one that gets hurt. Maybe make is a special week to spend extra time with him, and then later in the year try to make time to have one on one time with your other two. It sounds like YOU are doing your best, but you can’t control what his dad wants to do.
Do NOT force this issue. Don’t put your child in a unwanted situation. That never ends well for the child.
Who knows…dad may not be with this chic too long and may want to observe his parenting time again. Until then, take advantage of the one on one time with your boy. He will cherish the memories and know that YOU are the one that has his back.
I feel like there’s more to this story…
I would personally never make my child go where he is not wanted. Clearly there is NOT stability…
I agree with everyone else. Don’t send him. Do some extra Bonding with him while the others are away.
Agree with the others. Don’t force it. You can’t. Even with a court order if they don’t want to eventually they won’t. And again he will start to feel resented and unwanted.
I am also a single mom. I also treasure some time to myself and some along time. We deserve that as single parents too. It is so hard doing it alone. And I completely understand that. But to send your child somewhere where they are fighting having him there is not okay. Your child will suffer emotionally at some point. You aren’t wrong for wanting your son to go. And it sucks he is a crappy dad.
Don’t force it. Also, he should be paying child support, especially if he’s not supporting his child in any other way.
Dont force it but document it so he cant come back and say at a later date that you tried to keep him from dad.
It’s sad that he’s choosing a woman over his own son! I think that you should go to court and have it in writing so that he can’t throw it in your face later on. I totally see where you’re coming from in wanting the kids all away for the same week. And what you do that week it completely your business!! You don’t owe anyone an explanation for that! If men can, so can we… but I do think that if your son goes over there he will be mistreated and feel very uncomfortable! And I would never want a child to feel that way, especially when with their own parent. Good luck to you, hope everything works out for you and your son😘
Ur son should not have to pay for his father’s choices. But I’m not sure I would send him there to be treated like shit either. Dad sounds like a fucking douche.
Do the grandparents have anything to do with the child? Maybe he can go there for a week. Dad probably bit off more than he can chew by moving in with the new woman. Hopefully he’ll get out of there and step up but until then I wouldn’t force him to take the child because he’ll most likely be mistreated. Maybe offer to have his sister come stay at your place for a week so he has someone to play with while the other two are gone?
So he doesn’t want to spend time with his own son because he’s too exhausted from taking care of two kids who aren’t his? Interesting
Even if you had it court ordered he doesnt have to take him during that time. He can give up his time at any given time and there is nothing you can do about it. But sadly pushing your son onto someone who clearly does not want to be around him or sees him as a hassell is only going to hurt him worse. Keep him use that time to have 1 on 1 time instead of working the ect hours that week. You cant force someone to be a father
It’s bad that he doesn’t want to see his son but what’s worse is making your son go over there and feeling unwanted and awkward
Just love your son & don’t discuss his father situation. Let his father tell him when he can come over. Sad
Dont force it. I cant stress that enough. Do not force it. Even with a court order he can still go against it and still try and get out of it. However it is a good thing to have for these instances. And usually the non custodial parent gets 6 consecutive weeks during the summer not just 1 so he should be happy with that. As for the gf and her kids, i can totally understand her kids needing the adjustment time but if your son is there every weekend or every other weekend thats plenty of time to be adjusted by the time its a full week. Men get overwhelmed easily and it seems that 4 children at one time is doing that to him. No excuse. 2 of them are his and 2 of them he chose to be involved with when he moved in with her. I understand wanting that week for yourself too but in all honesty if he chooses not to take advantage of the time he is given, dont force it. Your son will feel that he isnt wanted there and no child should be put through that. If he asks why he isnt going or questions any of it im not sure how to explain that but my daughter is 4 and i just tell her that her dad is working and thats why he hasnt called. She doesnt question that answer. Shes still too little to catch on. But youll figure it out. Good luck 
hopefully the dad is just getting adjusted to so many kids and re evaluates his priorities as a child should never be pushed out.
Make the father explain to the child why this is happening, be there and be supportive for your kid.
As dad is saying ‘you can’t come for a week’, step in and say ‘you and I will do something extra fun while your siblings are away. Just you and mommy’. It sucks that you are going to loose extra hours at work. But in a few years, your son will understand that this is dads doing, and will understand you stepped up.
I totally understand loosing that week to yourself, I wish there was a situation in my life where something like a week child free was a possibility.
Having his dad involved would be the best scenario, but if dad is not going to parent correctly, step in and single parent. Some of the strongest people I know, came from single mom homes. They have all gone on to become stable, responsible and reasonably wealthy. It’s not in the cards for every child, but not having a father figure isn’t the end of the world…
You could try explaining to the father and his new partner, how this will effect your child. If weekends are okay, a week isn’t that different (in regards to the child that doesn’t deal well with change), it’s up to them as parents to make sure this other child can cope, the world will not cater to that particular challenge for their entire life. As adults, when they moved in togeter, they both knew the situation (ie: dad has a child that comes for stays and new partner has a child with a particular challenge) and should have begun creating a positive inclusive environment, whether that’s extra visits or sleepovers so the children can become better acquainted and comfortable with each other. If he’s a good dad, he’ll do something about it, if he’s not, you have to be dad now.
I wish you the best of luck, and I truly hope things work out.
It’s sad to make him go where he might feel not wanted … You say you don’t get financial help from the dad, maybe try getting financial help from him and using that money for child care for that week so you can work extra and/or have time for yourself or at least be able to do something nice with your little one that week (take his mind off the fact the others are with their dad and he’s not )
Maybe he can go with grandparents for that week? I used to spend my summers with my dads parents. Coming from someone who’s dad made that same decision(a woman with 3 kids) picked them over me. The more they pushed, the more i hated it. You cannot make someone be a parent who doesn’t want to. Your son will grow up and see that you did everything and his dad didn’t. Also, me and my dad don’t have a relationship nor does he see my girls.
Honestly, I wouldn’t push it. Yes, it’s hurting your son because he loves his dad and sister and wants to spend time with them, but if dad doesn’t want him I can’t imagine he’d have a very nice time while there.
Maybe send your son to his grandparents that week, or see if there’s a super cool summer camp that he would like? You say you don’t get financial help from dad, well tell him “since you don’t want to take your son for a week you need to help me pay for camp” or whatever. It’s the least he can do.
If you force his dad to take him you may be putting your son in a situation where he’d be treated poorly because he’s unwanted there. Forcing the time is only going to build resentment and frustration for everyone involved.
Seems like Mom is doing her best to try and coordinate everyone’s schedule. If Dad was previously seeing his son on all/majority of scheduled visits prior to living with his current girlfriend I would suggest trying to have an honest conversation with him about how all this is could affect his son and whether or not he wants to be an active parent. Also, consider the possibility that there could be more going on in the home than he wants to say and needs to sort it out before having his son come over. If your son has been interested in a camp or some fun activity maybe you and Dad can work something out with that financially or with drop off/pick up.
I would say ok fine but make it clear he is to tell him not you, then plan a super fun week with your son that is very different to normal and say how happy and excited you are to get to spend this one on one time with him
Sadly you can’t make a dad have his children - I think you are best planning things with the assumption that your son will be with you 100% of the time - then should his dad ask to see him just class it as a bonus - don’t have your child waiting each time for someone who might let him down/ not want him xx in time I’m sure you will settle into a new routine - your boy will soon learn how amazing his mum is x
- You can’t force him to take the child However if he is not taking him when hes supposed to you can legally have the child support adjusted. Child support is set according to the amount of time you have the child.
- I don’t know that he would be mistreated when he goes there but even if he feels like hes not wanted there that’s almost as bad.
I wouldn’t send him there if he doesnt want him. A week is a long time for a kid to be in a place he’s not welcome.
I don’t understand why he wouldn’t want his son to be with him and his sister just because he wanted to move in with his gf and her two disabled children! He is being selfish and a jerk for NOT putting his son 1st! Its like his son is on the back burner so hr can care for his gfs kids and your sons sister smh
Get a court order outlining his time. You aren’t selfish. He married a woman with 2 disabled kids. That’s on him. His problems are just that. He has a limited role the least he can do is play it. Don’t let him make you the fall guy for his decisions. Good luck.
I mean honestly I don’t think a court can force him to take time he doesn’t want. If he goes in and says I don’t want that week in the summer, they are liable to look at you and say sorry, we can’t force him to take visitation he doesn’t want… I guess my only advice would be to tell him if that’s what he really wants than so be it but that it’s his child in the end that he’s hurting and their relationship will pay for it later. I’d also tell him it is his responsibility to explain to the child why they can no longer go stay with him for a week, although again you can’t force him to do that, and he probably won’t… but at least maybe just the thought of how he would have to explain that to his child may make him see how much of an ass he is being…
Ultimately you sound like you have your kids best interests at heart and forcing him on his dad who doesn’t want him doesn’t sound fun. Suck it up and enjoy some one on one time with your son. Eventually he won’t even want to go there anyway between friends and teen years.
This one is hard bc my kids dad(same dad) has been in and out of their lives for so long they don’t care to see him anymore. He left me six months pregnant with our daughter. I had our almost two year old son too. He would come back want to work it out then leave and it was a pattern for 5 years before i finally left for good. My kids now see him 2 Sundays a month and maybe two Thursdays for like 2 hours. Either way one of them is going to start resenting the other. I honestly wouldn’t send him over there if he doesn’t want him bc who knows what’s going to happen. 
Don’t force him… I always believe those are warning signs…id worry about sending my kid anywhere they were unwanted
I wouldn’t push it and I would put him on child support and if he asks why I would tell him since you can’t pick up extra hours during that week he’s supposed to have his kid, you need to make it up somehow
I wouldn’t want him to keep my child for a week if he didn’t want him around. Fuck that. I would talk to him and see if he even want’s the kid period, cause it don’t sound like it. What if he hurt him cause he resents him? Not saying that would happen but look at all the kid’s who go missing every year or who die at the hand of a parent cause that parent didn’t want the responsibility of being that childs parent anymore. If he’s that dead set against seeing or being with his own son, that would raise so many red flags for me.
You can’t force a man to be a dad, I’m sorry you are having to realize that. Maybe your son would like to stay with a grandparent for that week or and aunt or uncle so he’s not missing out on having a week away and you can still get that extra in?
I believe you need to stop forcing it your son shouldn’t have to be with someone that doesn’t really want him and is making it obvious let him stay with you where he is loved and wanted. Just my opinion
Honestly the kid is much better off without him. If you have to pretty much force your ex to take care of his own child then you have to worry about the quality of care your child is getting there.
Honestly if he doesn’t want him for the week and says it’s too much, I would be worried about him being neglected while over there. 
Let it be and honestly start making him pay child support
You are the one being rigid. Good heavens. He played by your rules for a long time. His situation is different, and it sounds like he is trying very hard to also make his new family work. He’s not married to you. It sounds like he loves your son, and is overwhelmed. Be flexible, lest YOU be the one who is hurting your son. Believe me, when my kids stopped wanting to go to their Father’s for a month out of the summer, I lost that “me” time… And whew! I LOVE raising my kids. LOVE IT. But, those breaks where all I need to worry about is myself for a bit… That is gold. I just can’t see how you can be so rigid as to expect baby daddy #2 to parent according to your baby daddy #1’s schedule. Prior precedent does not make it a rule. Do you see how petty you are coming across? You are throwing some of the “correct sentences to show how much you want what is best for your kids,” but the truth is that you want what is easy for you.
Id take to court. Cs also