How did you for sure know you were straight? Are you sure you didn’t just get into it because others were straight?
She is still figuring herself out, just love and support her she will find herself soon. Don’t worry so much. If she has any questions there’s plenty of support out there xx
As a lesbian, who has lesbian moms, the best advice I can give you is to love her through it all. Accept whatever she tells you she is. Even if she turns out not being bisexual or anything of the sort at least then she will feel comfortable coming to you about these things. I will also say a lot of us in the LGBTQ community knew we weren’t “straight” at young ages. I kissed a girl for the first time at I think 10 or 9 and not a boy until I was I think 13 or 14. I tried to force myself to be straight because I didn’t want to be gay. So there’s a good chance she really is bisexual and the reason she feels comfortable to tell you is because she has that friend. She could also like her friend a little bit which could be why she was more apt to watch anime with her.
I would just wait and see. My daughter told me the same thing when she was 11. She also loves anime. Most kids that age have a need to “fit in”, but that might not be the case. My daughter told me that when she got into anime it gave her an aspiring feeling to just want to be herself, and that she always had those feelings, she just didn’t know how to express it. She is 16 now and still says she likes both genders. That may change as she gets older. It may not. But I just support her either way. I would not go out and buy her a bunch of shirts that say gay pride just yet lol, but For the time being just let her be herself and let her know that you love her either way. It will be fine. Even at 16 my daughter is not dating. When she finds that special someone to bring home I will welcome them with open arms weather that person is a boy, girl, or unicorn. Just trust that you have raised her right and trust her judgement. 
If it’s a phase let it be a phase, if it’s not a phase it’s not a phase. I think you’re putting to much thought into it, just love them. If she she brings a girlfriend home, or a boyfriend home, who cares. Let them explore any possibilities or current feelings and support them, guide them to be safe in their curiosity and go with it.
If she came up to you and told you she liked boys would you question her the same?
I love the honesty here.
And my answer, speaking as a child who came out to her family is, don’t put any expectations on her. At eleven i thought i was gay, then at fourteen i thought maybe i was bi, then at seventeen i recognized that i am pansexual but also asexual and simply wasn’t comfortable in sexual situations which were usually encouraged by boys so i avoided them.
When i got my first boyfriend at nineteen my mom said “i thought you didn’t like dick?” It hurt me but i understand now that she meant sexually and i dont like either that way.
Your daughter has started her journey of self discovery and she may go through phases. All you can do is support her and make sure she makes safe decisions.
Your daughter is whatever she wants to be.
You don’t have to have an ‘are you sure’ discussion with her. Your only jobs here are to accept, support and love her unconditionally.
Just support and love her no matter what and let her figure things out as she works through life. 
It doesn’t matter if you think it’s a phase or a friend influencing her. If SHE feels she is gay, support her. Be there for her. That’s it. You don’t have to understand it. You just need to love her and be there for her.
I’m so annoyed with the judgment on here. We are all trying to figure out how to parent. She is obviously supporting her kid. And she is being shamed for asking questions and trying to learn and understand. I’m sick of that kind of attitude on this page.
For me personally, I knew I was straight. But it’s different for everyone. My best friend and I “got married” under the slides at recess when we were in kindergarten. I had always had a crush on him until probably 3/4th grade. He was my date to the 8th grade prom (we were not dating but went together). When we were in 9th grade I was the first person he came out to when he realized he was gay. And he’s my best friend to this day (we are both 22 now). Sometimes it takes time, to truly figure out who you are. I wouldn’t necessarily call it a phase but maybe she’s experimenting and trying to figure out who she is. And she may know for sure that’s she’s gay. Just be supportive, accept, and love her through everything 
I started to wonder if I was gay when I found out what that meant around 6-7 years ago
I never really liked the boys all that much just would see one and go
He’s pretty I guess and thought that that meant you liked them because I didn’t know any different
For the girls I liked, I would be almost nuts over. Like I always wanted to be around them and be close to them, i always felt more connected with them. But I was told that was just a girl friendship
Which I guess but if you’re friends you’re not really gonna be going “wonder what they’re doing? I can’t wait to see them again” every day or that sort of thing like you would if you were in a relationship with them.
I dated a few girls and I felt really loved and at peace in those relationships, with most of the boys I dated (because some people in my family made it out that I wasn’t allowed to say no when someone asked me out) I didn’t feel any connection to them, maybe 3-4 I felt a slight connection to but not really.
I didn’t have the freedom to explore my feelings either, anything I felt was consistently shamed and beaten out of me growing up.
I still struggle to understand what I feel but I’ve been working on it.
If you want to be more active in her life, ask questions! Be supportive! Be there!
It’ll make a big difference in how she turns out.
How much she’ll have to struggle to know who she is
The only way that I know that someone is just following a trend is if they make a huge spectacle of themselves doing it. Like being proud of it and open isnt the same as using it for attention, for admiration, etc.
Someone who is proud isn’t gonna make a point to sit there and make a spectacle of themselves and pretend they should be worshipped for being gay, that’s someone following a trend and wanting to be popular for it.
Everyone is different and We each all have our own ways to deal with things so thats not always the case
Someone with a god complex for example would expect to be worshipped for anything and everything.
Just go with the flow as long as she’s safe and happy that’s all that really matters
For everyone sayings it’s becoming a “trend”, it’s not because people are trying to be cool but because we have created a culture that people can be open and honest about how they feel. It is not black and white, so she may change her view as she discovers more about herself. Most likely if she thinks she is gay then there is some same sex attraction or curiosity present which may evolve into something more as she grows and matures. You do not need to do or say anything more than what you already have.
I say just roll with it. My 12 year old son has been open with me about being gay since 9 years old. I myself had a gut feeling he was since around 1 years old. On the other hand, my 10 year old daughter was “gay” for about a week when her best friend came out. After that week, she was like no, I still like boys better lol. I equally support them both. I will love them both and my other 2 children with my all no matter what. With that being said, I would say it shouldn’t even matter. She’ll find her way and who she is whether it be now or much later in life. Just be there, always and through anything 
.
I can assure you it’s got nothing to do with Anime. That’s like saying, fictional books make someone straight. I watch anime. All my friends watch anime. We’re all straight.
Some People are born Gay. Some people are born Trans. It’s got nothing to do with how they are raised. If something doesn’t feel right, then a person, whatever age, is going to do something to fix that.
If my kid told me this at 11… My only concern would be the age… at 11 I feel kids should just like boys and girls as friends… being gay, straight, pan, bi, whatever it is a person decides is because of who they want to be in a relationship with… my child at 11 will not be allowed to “date” or be in a relationship with anyone…
I’d say wait and see. She may know now, or cha he her mind later. Just please don’t tell her she’s “just experimenting” or something. My mom did that to me and it messed me up a little bit. I came out as bisexual when I was 10, beleive that’s what I was until high school when I became more aware of the different sexual orientations. I now identify as pansexual.
Maybe look at some YouTube videos or interviews with parents of kids in the LGBT communities and get advice from them. I believe there are support groups to help parents with questions like these.
I would find a drag queen or a ‘House Mother’, and ask them for advice. That will be as real as it gets. Good luck navigating these new waters 
It’s probably a phase. I highly doubt 90% of the world is gay… Love her despite any choice and where she ends up in life will tell you if it’s a phase or not
Every kid goes thru this sort of phase whether people admit it or not. Tell her to take her time and feel what she wants to feel. She will still be the same person at the emd of the day.
Just tell her you lover no matter what she decides and let her figure out what she wants.
Pretty simple. She’s either attacked to guys or not. That’s how she “knows”. Stop over thinking it
I knew I liked girls when I was in 1st or 2nd grade.
My best friend decided around this age she was gay, but later decided she liked both girls and boys. She is still figuring out who she is. Support her, if it is a phase it will pass. If it isn’t, then still support. Either way you are doing just fine. Only time will tell what was a phase and what wasn’t.
Why does it matter if she’s said it because her friends said the same thing, or if she actually is? Does it change anything? It’s 2021 and people still ask if is being gay is a “phase”?? Really???
My advice: Do nothing. There is nothing for you to do? Let her figure out who she is, and what she likes on her own. Parent’s don’t need to intervene with that??
I only read the first two sentences and all I can say is that it’s not for you to know or try to figure out. My son is 9 and we ALL know he’s gay. He’s a cheerleader and would rather hangout with the girls than the boys. Kids just know….
All u can do is be supportive and let her figure her sexuality on her own…let her know shes still loved know matter the path she chooses to take…there is so much hate in the world be lucky she came to you…my daughter is 6 and still has issues coming to me for things…its hard but they are our babies and they need us…one day we will need them…
I’m straight and knew I liked boys since kindergarten. Some people know themselves. Ask yourself when you knew you were straight, or gay, or question?! Sometimes it is friends, sometimes it’s because of them kids feel more confident to come out. So be supportive and don’t blame anyone else, like her friend or she may not confide in you as much.
Do nothing, it’s probably a phase. Tell her you love her unconditionally
I’m dealing with the same thing, my daughter is the same age. I honestly feel that it’s faze and their just figuring out things and "experimenting " she is open with me so I just listen and give advice when I can…
We are in the decade of where it is now considered the “cool” thing if you are gay. Give her time to grow and mature before acting on anything.
Give her space to figure out her own identity. Guide her, and teach her through your own experiences and other’s stories as well. Teach her about your values and moral principles. I believe that we can all benefit from mental health care…individually and as a family. It can bring you all closer as a family. This is probably a scary and confusing time for her and that needs to be met with love and support and helpful guidance.
I’m going through something similar. My take on it is a little different. In jr high there was this really sweet girl named Brandy, in 7th grade she came out to me. She knew at 12. Last I knew she’s living down south with her wife.
No, I don’t know whether my kid is going to always identify as gay. But she does now, and I’m going to respect and support her.
Pick her battles and allow herself to find herself. Sometimes it takes trail and error
Some comments here are quite something. She is likely gay if she tells you she’s gay. She knows who she’s attracted to. I would ask yourself the question: why does it bother you so much?
anime? really?
Perhaps that’s why the Flintstones inspired so many men to wear animal pelt togas.
Don’t support it, rebuke it.
Definitely thought i was gay because of my friends when i was in middle school. Turned out to not be gay. Funny thing is, my best friend thought she was straight and turned out to be gay. So there’s that also. I don’t think there is any harm in it, but she shouldn’t focus on stuff like that or make her life all about that at her age. She should be focusing on school and friends. And remind her, being gay is not who she is, it’s just another thing about her.
It takes time, it’s not a phase she is trying to figure out who she is. Just cause her friend is Pan doesn’t mean what she feels is any less or her trying to be “cool”. She may change how she says she is into someone, but that doesn’t mean it’s a phase. For the longest time I said I was bi, but in reality I am Pan cause I don’t care who it is as long as I find them attractive and their personality is amazing.
How did you know for sure that you’re straight?
Who cares if it’s a phase, just be supportive.
How did you know you weren’t? Tf?
Be thankful that she is comfortable coming to you about this. It’s no different than you knowing your preference. Were there any signs growing up? Did she have elementary school boyfriends or crushes? Is it a phase? Probably not, but give her time to figure it out. Don’t push her, just support her and love her regardless.
Honestly it could be either. Until she’s older you probably won’t know for sure
i knew i liked girls from a very very young age, one of my parents didn’t like it and i tried to ignore it. & look i still like girls 
pls don’t judge her or beat yourself up. support her. please
Who cares? She told you she’s gay. Maybe she’ll identify differently in the future. It makes no difference to your relationship and it shouldn’t matter whether you personally verify her actual attractions. Just listen to your kid. You don’t need to do anything or be involved at all. Have a talk with her about dating expectations and the gender of her date should make no difference.
I didn’t even finish reading this. She knows because she knows. Little boys and girls have crushes on the opposite gender all the time and no one bats an eye. And if she is saying it to “be cool” then let her. 
it doesn’t hurt for her to figure out her sexuality. But if you think she’s doing it to “be cool” and you say that and don’t accept her and she is gay, you are making it so she wont trust or feel comfortable around you about these topics. Just support your kid.
I would tell her not to put any labels on herself. She will continue to change and grow in her knowledge of herself. And she has too many other wonderful parts of childhood to enjoy before she needs to be thinking about sexuality.
I would honestly let it be. You’ll know as she gets older if she truly is but for now just let it be what it is. It could be she’s trying something new, exploring, but maybe she is. Just let her figure it out
My daughter is gay watching anime never been with a girl but has a boyfriend but is gay??? Never will I understand…
I don’t know what’s up with the hateful childish comments, grow up! The poster is literally just asking a question and asking for advice not dissing gays etc the hell wrong with some of you? And it’s true sometimes kids follow trends and it’s been happening so be quiet! Hell my son wanted to be a girl for like two months after his sister was born but now he is embarrassed when he even thinks about that bc he really doesn’t want to be this was 6 years ago… he was 3 1/2 years old. I also know some people who did the same. They were lesbian children then grew up and no where near lesbians. It DOES happen! So leave the poster alone! They are asking for harmless advice. So give it or be quiet
even if it is just a phase, treat it as though she is 100% sure. because for all you know, she could be. i knew i wasn’t straight before i even started grade school.
My Stepsister came out in '87 and her family freaked out and sent her back into the “closet” for 20 years.
29 and just married my wife wouldn’t have seen it coming if you asked me a few years ago … sometimes you just become who your meant to be… would have saved me a lot of headache had I know haha 
People that “don’t have an issue with it” always seem to question if someone “knows for sure.”
You wouldn’t ask the same thing if she said she was straight.
All I know is, straight people know they’re straight-even at a young age. How’s it any different for LGBTQ+ to know who they are/prefer at 11? Be supportive 
Just let her know that shes entering puberty and during this time there will be alot of relizations and changes and to embrace it as it comes. How she feels today may not be how she feels in a years time and thats ok too.
Could be phase , she could be doing it be cool like her friends , just be supportive, my daughter came to me 1 time said she think she bi then 6 months later said she was gay I said ok love u that Really don’t change anything but u still young keep open mind it could change again u don’t have labe ur self if u don’t want to no matter what I love u , she was happy that I wasn’t upset at all 1 that she gay 2 she keep changing her mind
She knows she is into women the same way you feel atracted to men. If she told you, I doubt is just a phase. She told you because she was ready to be true to her heart and ready to be open/honest with you about it. So, she doesn’t have to hide it from you.
It doesn’t change anything.
Just accept, support & celebrate. If she changes course later on you can just go with it. But for now, you gotta show you support 
. I suggest going to pride, getting a proud parent shirt/button, etc. Show you support with your actions & words.
First of all, I am so sorry that a lot of these mom’s didn’t even bother to finish reading what you were saying and then proceeded to bash you for asking.
Secondly, I am bisexual. I have always been bisexual I just didn’t know what was going on at that young of an age lol but I had a cousin who at the time I came out as being attracted to women (I was 15) also decided she was as well.
Cool we’re both bisexual and where I was ridiculed she wasn’t treated any differently and a few years later she tells everyone it was just a phase and she’s straight as an arrow.
I am still bisexual and that never changed.
The point is yes, some kids do just like to do whatever everyone else is doing.
However if your daughter really is gay then nothing is gonna change that so just support it until she tells you otherwise.
I hope my little backstory comment helps
Just support her. Until she says otherwise she is gay.
Why are you doubting the validity of your child’s sexuality? Shouldn’t you then be questioning if you’re straight or not? Wouldn’t you have to be questioned for that at her age, or is it so normalized that everyone assumed you knew.
That’s proof right there that you still have internalized comp cishet stuff and homophobia you need to work through.
I came out when I was 13 as Bi. My mom thought it was a phase because I was “too young to know what I liked”…
I’m 30, now.
It wasn’t a phase. Lol
Accept her and, if she changes her mind, no big deal. 
Being gay isn’t like having an interest in anime. It’s a biological feeling. She may know because she gets flutters of butterflies in her belly or even get turned on when she sees a female. She’s at the age for puberty, so her having a sexual attraction is right on que.
Also, I would ask her what is making her know she’s gay. Is she getting butterflies?? Or is she just attracted to the person. Sometimes it has nothing to do with sexuality and she is just find attraction to people. I thinks it’s a great opportunity to just see what she has to say these times can be super confusing (not whether she is gay or not) with all the emotional changes and hormonal changes. Always be supportive and help her work through her feelings the best you can. If she is gay, cool. Maybe she’s bi or pan? Just make sure her emotions and mental health are ok.
I was 12. You just know. How do you know your straight you just do.
Does it matter if it’s a phase?? That’s what she feels right now at this moment and that’s all that matters. Maybe she’ll change her mind next week or next year and you’ll have to be supportive then, too.
Just support her and let her know that you will love her and be there for her, regardless of who she ends up loving. Straight people aren’t questioned about being straight at a young age. Keep that same energy 
Ive found that alot of girls go throu that stage. Its the cool in thing at moment. However if she is she is. She will know as shes now growing up… and might èven have a crush. At end of the day. Shes your daughter and you will love her no matter what.
My daughter is going through the same thing she struggles to make friends and wen she does make a friend she loves them with he hole heart. She told me she was gay I’ve told her i am behind her no matter what wether she’s gay straight and all the other labels in between. I personally think she’s getting confused with a close friendship and feelings of a sexual nature. She’s still grossed out talking about kissing and anything more than just holding hands. The couple of friends she does have all say they are bi etc I just think what will b will b there still babies finding there way in the big world x
As the proud mother of a lesbian 13 year old my advice is Just keep loving her and supporting her… you know being gay and liking anime because her friend likes it are two very different things. Don’t question… just love your kid. There is already so much hate out there in the world that just remember you are her safe place
Honestly who cares… truthfully this is probably just the beginning of the many changes/phases she will go through! I’d rather my daughter think she was gay or actually be gay at this young of an age… so many kids are having sex so young. Also…. I knew I liked females from an early age. I also knew I liked males. At one point I identified as being a lesbian… and then I finally came to terms with that I am bisexual… you find yourself eventually and it takes time. Just love her and support her and be accepting and give her the freedom to explore and she’ll figure out the rest.
Didn’t you know you were straight at 11?
I did.
What should you do? Support her. Period. And later, if she comes to a different conclusion about her identity and preferences, support her. Don’t question her. Don’t try to persuade or dissuade. Just offer her unconditional love and the knowledge that you will always be there.
Ya, monkey see, monkey do with these kids
My daughter is 15 and says she is pansexual and I always tell her I’ll love her no matter what but I also tell her she is still very young and hasn’t had a real relationship yet… also it’s everywhere now so some kids do get influenced to do or say things just to fit in or seem cool. Either way in time she will figure it out. And she’s so lucky to have an awesome supportive mom like you.
She is a child. She will change her mind and grow in the knowledge of her her decision every day. Just love and support her the best way too can. She is going thru puberty. School her in sexual disease and how to take care of her body. If it’s uncomfortable take her to the Dr and let them do the same. But, if she’s talking about it , And she has Decided, she may already be in a relationship. Kids these days are growing up fast. Especially with LG …community pushing that agenda. Just tell her she can come to you and be open with no repercussions. God bless.
Let her figure it out I came out as a masc lesbian then bi but with a woman preference now I identify as a trans pansexual. I have always been this way I was just afraid to show who I really was.
My daughter told me when she was 9 a lot of people asked me if i thought it was a phase, I told them it didn’t matter that’s my baby and I will respect her wishes and how she feels…. She’s 14 and still feels the same way… support her if she changes her mind then she does if not than she doesn’t either way having your support will mean so much more then anything else
We all want our children to live normal healthy lives.
I’m going to be the unpopular person here and say, my friend in high school claimed she was gay and had her girlfriends and stuff. I was always super accepting and everything but she also made a huge scene out of it and like the goth thing and a huge deal out of being angsty and a horrible home life. She grew out of her phase and had admitted she was never gay it was just for the show to be different and for attention because nobody else in our tiny town had done it to quite the level she did. She definetly made a name for herseld.
I didn’t even finish reading your post but why does it matter if she knows now or not?? I’m gay & I remember being attracted to girls around 8. Why does it matter if she knows now or later? Just support her now. You weren’t involved when she was assumed to be straight so how would you be involved now? Let her be.
Nothing is a sin without religion. If she is gay so be it. Let’s take away religion in this convo. The mother is supportive of her daughters choice she’s just not sure if her daughter is 100% gay or if she is just being influenced to being gay because of her friends choices. I would personally support my child with a sexuality. Honestly it’s none of my business who she is attracted to unless sexual actions are being placed because she is young obviously only 11. Who knows she could be in a phase where she’s confused. If she is in a phase it’s up to her if she changes her mind or could not. Either way I wouldn’t use words that are hurtful! Life is a journey and everyone is their own self to choose what paths they take all you can do is just know you love her especially if she does get teased or treated differently for her own sexuality because kids can be mean with differences.
I mean, the only one who should question it is her… don’t change your supportive energy. She is the only one who knows how she’s feeling.
The only thing that matters is that you support her.
It’s the imbalance of hormones also. Listen and know this too shall pass.
My 12 year old son came out to me a couple weeks ago. I simply told him that I would continue to love him all the same regardless but ask what about himself made him feel that way ( that he was bi). His answer was enough.
Support her and leave it at that.
My sister is your daughter’s age and from the age of 7 she told us she wants to be a boy… just support her no matter what that way she’s comfortable coming to you about those type of things…
Did you know at that age you liked boys? Just go with the flow. She’ll figure it out. She just needs to know you support and love her no matter what.
Theres friends are telling them this, its happening alot, social media, ect
Love your child for every stage of life they are in. Just let them be who they say they are and love them only the way you can.
i literally went thru the same thing at that age with my now 13 yr old. at the time i just explained how no matter what she decided i would support her. i didn’t tell her it was a phase regardless if that’s how i felt. she’s 13 and still
struggling with her sexuality. but i will
ALWAYS support her and never turn my back on her.
Would it even matter if it’s even a phase??? My 2 older came out around that age… when I decided to come out as Bi, I got my ass beat mentally by my mother… I still am but I am married so I respect my marriage. I loved my kids regardless… to be honest (plz don’t yall go down my throat either for this) it was amazing!!! I didn’t have to worry about my girls chasing a boy or getting played by a boy. Interest in opposite sex was my last worries when they came out being gay… unfortunately for them it was a partial phase, they turned out to be bi like me… I currently have an 11yo with zero interest in boys… her friends are mostly males because she is a total tomboy too… it’s okay and she will outgrow the phase if it’s just a phase. If not, she will still be your child and be wonderful at what she decides to be in life. Just make sure that you always have an open talk about practicing safe sex no matter what because it’s not just pregnancy that needs to be avoided, we have stds too…
This is like reading my own life. My daughter has just had her hair cut anime style. She hasn’t said anything yet but constantly makes pride colour things. I would support her. I am a full supporter of lgbqt. I the same am wondering if its a stage or what more will come of it. I know how my mother felt now too. Just roll with it and just be there to support her.
Probably just a phase she may change her mind several times don’t put to much into it she so young
I was about that age (12) when I first realized I was attracted to a girl in a more than just platonic friendly type way. There isn’t always a straight forward answer, it’s just a bunch of jumbled up feelings and hormones and, frankly confusion for her too. She just knows that she’s open to it in a way that could be expressed as more than platonic. Even if she has no clue what that means or if she’s just trying to fit in with her friends, she’s experimenting with her likes and dislikes so its all part of her own process. She’s too young to figure that out right now, because she’s too young to explore a romantic relationship right now so just being supportive, but on standby would be the best.
I say all this, came out as a lesbian at 16 and had a few serious girlfriends, then met a guy in my early 20’s and had a baby, then ultimately found my happiness marrying a woman. It’s a whole gray area that honestly, hardly ever makes a lot of sense. 
bottom line is she doesn’t know right now, it’s more about feelings than body parts.
But how do people KNOW they are straight, and it’s not just a phase?
A lot of kids claim that they are pansexual. These converstations take place on games such as Roblox. I asked my Son what pansexual means and he says he doesnt know. I honestly dont think kids at 10 or 11 understand completely what it is to be gay or pansexual because they don’t completely understand sex. I would have converstations with your Daughter and remind her that you support her but ask her why she thinks that she is gay. I found that my Son was very confused. I explined it to him and told him he has plenty of time to figure it out.
My son started the anime crap when he was like 13. It seriously changed his whole personality. Yall may think I’m crazy but I honest to God think the anime stuff puts ideas in their heads.