There’s no shame in wondering about this. Parenting is tough! And your attitude of support and love tells us & her that no matter what, she can count on you! Good job, Momma!!!
As far as wondering if she’s too young to know if she is gay or not, the only advice I have for you is to trust your gut. It could very well be a phase. Whether it is or isn’t, I think 11 years old is fairly young to be thinking of relationships. IMO. Personally, I would encourage her to focus on her friendships and tell her you love her no matter what.
I AM very old fashioned and not aware of what all the terms are and had to Google pansexual. 
And I’m old fashioned in the sense that I don’t even understand some of these things. I’m one who believes in traditional marriage and traditional sexes (male and female). But I’m also wise enough to admit I don’t know everything and there’s always room for growth. I know several people here have different beliefs and that is fine. But since you asked a public question on a forum, I assumed you’re looking for answers from all walks of life.
Keep up there good work! Keep loving your children unconditionally! 
Just like when I was that age they start getting those butterflies in their stomach and blush when they are attracted to someone.
It’s not something you can control…
I knew my oldest was gay because they would blush every time they saw pretty girl Instead of a boy. I knew and felt more physically attracted to boys by 11.
I just reminded both of my children to keep everything innocent as long as possible because intimacy complicates relationships. But we feel the way we feel. When my oldest told me that they liked girls, I said OK love , same dating rules apply, lol
Whether she continues to identify as gay, or her sexuality continues to evolve as she matures, what she’ll remember is how you made her feel about it. She says she gay, no one else would know better than her - so take her at her word.
There’s no involvement you need other than supporting her and being a safe person to talk to. Whether it’s outside influence or not, she’ll continue to define who she is all her life. Especially the next few years.
Just be there. Continue being accepting and supportive. Let her know she can talk openly to you about her feelings and that you love her no matter what
There are children a lot younger who may not have the words to express themselves but already know they are different from their friends . She’ll work it out in time given love and support for her journey
This came up in another mom‘s grouprecently and it was with her son who was about the same age.
I saw a lot of people questioning how a child that young would know their “sexual” preference. Well first of all it’s not about sex at 11! I always wonder why people think that, did they never have a boyfriend prior to sleeping with someone?
Who we love has very little to do with sex at all!
My first boyfriend was in first grade and nobody stopped and said “hey does she really know that she likes boys?” It is not something that develops but how you are born so it starts very early of course!
That being said I think our preferences change over the years quite dramatically, as we grow and age and experiment…. I think the big difference we are now seeing is that; 1. there are so many labels out there to be inclusive to a wide range of people and relationships and 2. It is totally acceptable and no one has to hide who they are from a societal standpoint. When I was 11 there was zero representation of the LGBTQ+ community. Now our children have this wide variety of love and acceptance to see.
There are still hateful people in this world hiding behind an imaginary friend in the sky but for the most part society has now represented inclusivity. I would absolutely sit down and have that conversation with her because those people have zero shame and who they target. Hate crosses all ages and at least for my daughter was extremely confusing because of the crowd it came from.
I would say just love her, love her despite the label and support her no matter what. You don’t need to know for sure! She doesn’t need to know “for sure”. It is how she feels today and that unconditional love and support from you will mean everything to her!
The truth is she will walk this path regardless of what you do but how she comes out of the other side of adolescence looking at love, relationships and acceptance will be based on how you respond to each step along the way.
Good luck momma!
Leave her to it as she might not come to you again about anything, let her find herself
I knew when I was 5 I was gay it wasn’t until I was older I explored and I was bi. But you can support her don’t push dont try and discredit what she is telling you. Listen and support. There will be enough people in this world that will try and change her and make her be something/someone she’s not. She can explore that on her own she doesn’t need you to do that for her. Be supportive and listen to her. If you make it clear you support her if she needs advice or whatever while she explores she will come to you. Not all gay people fit in a mold we dont all like the same things dress the same listen to the same music. Maybe she specifically likes one of her friends which is what happened to me that how I knew. I had to explore that on my own. At 11 its still early and could develop into anything. She could end up completely right and she is gay or she could end up realizing that was a phase thats for her to explore.
Same way you knew you were straight. At 11 it’s perfectly normal to have crushes and experience attraction.
Give her the space to figure it out. regardless if it’s something she is confused about or not she will figure it out as she gets older and starts dating. It’s her journey to figure out so let her do it and continue supporting her. Questioning her or forcing her to label herself definitively for the rest of her life won’t help.her label may change and that’s ok and if it doesn’t that’s is ok too. Just love and support and make sure she isn’t struggling with anything.
Did you have crushes on boys at age 11? How are you sure you were just liking boys to fit in
It could definitely just be a phase because a lot of kids these days go through it. And as your child grows older they may or may not change their mind and then you will know
It’s normal for kids that age to experiment/be curious with who they are. Some times it is just a phase and sometimes it isn’t. It could be the people she hangs around and her wanting to fit in. Or it could be that that’s how she actually feels. There’s no real way of telling because she is still so young. Just teach her everything there is to know about staying “safe” regardless of if she prefers boys or girls or both. And be there for her either way. Let her know she’s loved and accepted for the person she is. And the choices she makes.
Jade Marie Natalie Wadey
I’m having this with my 9 year old daughter.
She told me in the middle of a restaurant one day.
I’ll have a look through, thank you Kelly Ann Whyborne for tagging me xxx
I’ve known I was gay since I was 8! Yes she could change her mind and that’s still ok
Support her as she is now and give it time. It could very well be because of her friend, but, it could also just be who she is. My advice is to just support her on her journey as she finds out who she is
Talk to her like you talked to us, let her know your ok with it but your curious how she came about this etc, be a friend to her in this case, I talked to my mom openly about everything, I still text her to this day about 
issues 
. The key is letting her know your there for her in a supportive non judgmental way
When I was 11 year old I had a crush on a boy named Alex Bedell. I followed him around relentlessly and we held hands when we were swinging. To this day I remember the warmth and butterflies of how that felt around him. I didn’t question if I was sure I liked boys because it was 1000% natural. I didn’t have to examine it, authenticate it or wonder my intentions. It just was. That is exactly how it is for your daughter with girls. She just feels it because it is normal, natural and authentic for her. It is who she is at her core so she knows.
I think a lot of kids know since a young age. However, I feel that many kids today are saying these things to try and be cool or fit in. My 10 year old son is telling me that being LGBTQ has become a trend for some kids. I wouldn’t tell your daughter anything opposing it or questioning it. Just be supportive and go with the flow. If she truly is, she will appreciate having your support. If she isn’t, then let her just discover that on her own time.
I’m having the same issue with my daughter!! Like almost exact, I’m glad I’m not the only one, tbh. I want her to feel supported but on the other hand I think to myself she’s at the brink of puberty and those hormones are gonna make her feel all sorts of things and her feelings or admirations may be just that, love and admiration for her friend. 
I’m at a lose for the time and have been trying to just let it play out. Good luck.
Let her discover herself. Even if it is “just a phase” it’ll be a valid and real part of what makes her, her. If she decides she likes more than girls, or anything else, just support her when that time comes. I knew I was pansexual by age 11, when I had my first “official” (as official as 11y/o’s can be) girl friend who I held hands with and even kissed once at a football game 🥲
I’m still pretty gay but that’s beside the point lol. If it changes be there, and until she says it’s changed, support your gay child💘
you’re doing phenomenal if your child was comfortable enough to be open with you about this. That speaks volumes! I have an enby (non binary) 13 year old. Came out at 11 and I wasn’t equipped with the knowledge so I found a lgbtq+ counselor to assist us with questions and making sure my kiddo is getting right/healthy transition information and guidance instead of misinformed info from friends. It was a concern of mine as well.
I legit just read my life story 2 years ago. Like you said, I support mine in whatever she chooses but I didn’t want it to be just to be cool. Apparently it’s the cool thing now and I blame the media. Long story short for mine is was just a phase. They are just trying to figure themselves out.
I remember having crushes on boys and girls when I was in Kindergarten. If they are old enough to have crushes/like the opposite sex, they are old enough to have crushes/like those that are the same sex.
I figured out I was pan when I was 14 but I had shipped characters in sailor moon together when I was 4. I thought it was wrong and bad cause it could only be a mommy and daddy.
Why don’t you sit down and talk to her. Tell her you will support her no matter what but you wish to get a better understanding
Listen to me carefully, if your child is saying they’re gay then they’re gay. That’s like asking a straight person how they know they’re straight🤦🏻♀️ you sound very unsupportive over here questioning how SHE feels. “Be more involved somehow”?! It isn’t your fucking life, there isn’t anything for you to be involved with. Your child’s sexuality is THEIR business, not yours. Guarantee if you start to question her or suggest she’s doing it to “be cool” she’s going to resent you and it’ll ruin your relationship and you’ll have nobody to blame but yourself
At 11 you knew you liked boys no? At this point, it can be to be cool or she can legitimately be gay. The only thing we can do as parents is let our children know we accept them and love them as is and don’t force the topic of “are YOU SUUUURE?? On them. Ultimately when she’s older she will know for herself
I knew I was bi, by the time I was 9 or so. I mean it could be a phase, it could be curiosity, or she could already know shes gay but either way just let them find out on their own. Don’t bother her about it, just support her.
Who cares. Seriously treat it like if she told you anything else about herself. It is who she is and let it go.
I knew I liked boys when I was 4…and no one thought hhmmm I wonder if she’s certain about that 
Accept it either way and encourage her to be herself and be happy. It’s normal to experiment but by the time I was 11 I knew what I found attractive.
Even if it is a phase or to be cool, so what? You’ll show her trust that she can come to you to figure it out.
It could be that she’s not trying to be like her maybe she really is gay or bi and she likes anime not to be like her bc she likes her… I thought I liked women when I was 17 and in some small way still do so just support her while she grows and expect changes and just love her 
She’s a kid. She’s trying to figure out who she is. Support her and she will have a significantly easier time trying to find herself. You’re doing great.
If she isn’t u will know, could b a phase
Just be there. She’s young and when she gets older she may decide otherwise. When they have friends they tend to wanna be like them.
Just let her know that know matter what you’ll support her. I’m going through something similar. My child has been all over the board on who they like and even what gender they are. Mine started this around 14/15 and has changed their mind a few times since. They are still young and doing so much growing mentally. Most adults I know dont even have themselves figured out. Personal growth is a long, sometimes changing road. Just make sure she knows she isn’t walking it alone.
I don’t like this phase talk. All of life is a phase. Sexuality and gender are fluid. It isn’t a big deal if she feels one way now and decides later something has changed and then potentially changes again at a later time. Just let her know you accept her as she is no matter how she feels or what she chooses. It really isn’t anything to attempt to wrap your mind around or think to hard about. Only she knows what she wants and how she feels, ot is our job as parents to to make them feel loved and.comfortable to explore and find what works for them.
Let her make those choices on her own.
I knew I was into women and men when Titanic came out and I was attracted to both Kate Winslet AND Leonardo DiCaprio, I was born in 88, that movie released in 97. Do the math, I was 9. I couldn’t stop watching the nude Kate Winslet scene when I owned the movie. In 6th grade I was checking women out more than men and knew then. Couldn’t stop staring at butts and breasts. I settled down with a man in my adulthood, but it hasn’t stopped that occasional sexual attraction for men and women.
let her be what she thinks and wants to be. It’s her journey. We are not to question or interfere….just be her mom. Love her and support her.
She’s eleven. You choose what she is, or is not. Until she hits dating age, it doesn’t matter anyway.
Who cares? I mean that kindly. I didn’t know if I was truly straight at 11, but hey, I was. Oh well. It may change, it may not. But your reaction to this right now will be remembered for life. Support support support.
The best thing you can do, I also have an 11 yr old daughter, is to let her change. As long as she’s being safe! She might go through a few different ways she wants to be, but her constant will be you. Don’t come down on her if she decides to change her mind or how she wants to be perceived. Involve yourself only to a point where you learn about what she’s talking about. Unless of course she asks for advice. But don’t judge. Don’t be angry. This is about her and her learning who she is. Best of luck to you both.
Even if it is a “phase”, just support whatever they resonate with; at each and every point in their life… as long as it isnt harming anyone. I think we all can agree it is a long road to finding ourselves, hell, sometimes it takes decades. Just keep being a supportive parent of each new expression and if they ever do change their mind about anything, support that too. 
I knew I was bi literally as far back as I can remember, but I denied it for years. But my parents are the type to say “she used to be gay but she’s with a man now”
I explained to my 15 yr old who thinks she may be gay like this:
The boys her age make her uncomfortable…why? Bc all they can think about is boobs and getting some action. She broke up with one for loosing and another who tried to once touch her boob. When she’s with her girls, they don’t do that. They don’t pressure or make her feel uncomfortable. At this point, she enjoys and is more comfortable hanging or dating with a girl. And that’s ok. But until she’s actually been sexually active with both, she cannot say she prefers one over the other and that labels are NOT needed at this time.
In short, she’s doing her. She’s talked with both boys and girls….her whole school of 2000 kids knows she may be gay. It’s 2021….and they don’t care. She’s beautiful, smart, athletic, and one heck of a catch. Any team would be lucky to have her lol! Don’t stress to hard or make it a big deal…that’s gonna have a negative affect.
My daughter told me when she was 10. I told her right now, she is too young to worry about any of that. However, when she’s old enough, I don’t care who she “likes” or dates as long as they treat her right and make her happy.
My daughter is 12, other one turning 11 soon. Let me tell you, the last thing on their minds is their sexual preference. They’re still way to happy being kids. Hope all goes well for you and your daughter. 
My own 11 year old girl told me same thing. I simply said if u happy I happy nó matter wat. If she changes her mind n few years I support her. U doing great job xxx
Yes let her find out what she is on her own. Tell her you love her and will always be there but do not try and force things either way. Shell decide if its a phase or not
At what age do you know you are straight? Is that just a phase?
Does it matter? Are your beliefs going to shun her if this isn’t a phase? I don’t think you are so I wouldn’t worry about it. Just teach her safe sex, communication skills, boundaries etc as you would if she was into boys.
I can say from life experiences I’ve had with many family members & friends who have come out very early. Most of them are all 30+ now and are in fact gay and so happy and comfortable with who they are for always being true to themselves and open and honest with everyone around them that loves them for just who they are. Just support her Momma and love her unconditionally. Even if it’s a phase, that’s ok. Let her freely explore who she is and wants to be. Safely of course and with love and guidance as she blooms into the woman she is as the years go on. 
Either way, what would it matter if this were a “phase” or not? Nothing would be different. Just be accepting and free to talk with her when she needs it.
It definitley could be but im sure you will love your baby regardless i wouldnt stress about she will figure it out
My son knew at 5 that he liked boys. He told me at 13. They know. I knew my son was gay before he told me.
I know an 11 year old who decided she was bi but has changed her mind and has now decided she’s gay. They will figure it out once they’ve had some experience with being intimate with another person. I wouldn’t worry too much right now, mum. Just keep being supportive
My 13 year old is like this too…it started around early age 12 I’m just loving her the same and letting it all play its course until she decides what it is she wants to be - and sticks with it… My friends daughter also did the same, and is now 21 with a boyfriend. Kids are just more aware these days… And want to experiment and also see your reaction…
You sound like your doing the right thing to me - so keep doing it 
You are doing the right thing. Just support her! There is no cut off date to her decision. It’s a fluid thing at that age. They can’t decide what their favourite colour is or if the want to play tennis or basketball. At that age they love their friends and generally are not interested in boys yet so just keep supporting her and watch her grow & change. 
My daughter was confused because it wasn’t presented properly at school. She thought because she would look at another female and think they were beautiful that she was gay. We had a long discussion about how that is different than finding a female sexually attractive. Getting butterflies in your stomach and acting silly etc. She realized that there was a difference and that she only felt that way about boys. Sometimes you have to find out the details. Good luck
Sexuality is so complicated. Let her be who she wants
And so what if it is a phase? People don’t know what they like or dislike until they try it.
Just support your daughter. I knew at 11 that I liked boys, so I think she could be old enough to know she likes girls. She’ll figure it all out and you just have to be there to support her
My question is why are our young children discussing sexuality? They are only kids and not at all mature enough to make that kind of decision. Are our kids associating normal like and admiration for someone as a sign they are gay??? We need to educate our children about different the kinds of feelings they may experience about each other and that they don’t always point to being a homosexual. 11 years and there about is definitely too young to know. This is my opinion. I don’t mean to offend anyone, but I feel very strongly about this.
What age did YOU figure out you were heterosexual and liked boys?
Accept her for who she is regardless of it being a phase or not.
I knew at a fairly young age that I was attracted to girls, but I liked boys too.
But it was something that I had just always known! Hard to describe.
Our daughter came out to us just after her 13th bday this year… she said she always knew she preferred girls for as long as she can remember … since coming out to us she is a much happier person within herself. She ended up coming out to all her family and friends as she is proud of who she is. We fully support her, her sexuality does not change the love we have for her one bit… Even if this was a phase it does not matter that she has told everyone that she prefers girls we would still fully support her no matter what gender her partner is… as long as she is happy… supporting your child when they are trying to find themselves is what is important…
My daughter is a year older last year she told me she is bisexual i told her all i want you is to be happy a girl a boy its her choice just support her x
My son and daughter are openly gay and son has been since he was about 14 and my daughter told me when she was 12. They’re 18 and 15 now. Nothing has changed including my love for them. I’m proud at the fact that my kids knew from open communication and love, they know they can tell me anything, no matter what it is. Just let her figure it out, they usually know. 
It might be a phase . My daughter went through at that age. Let it take it’s course
She will figure it all out herself…she knows herself best!
don’t we all go through phases and through all of them we are still ourselves and worthy of love and support.
1st ask her why she thinks so. Dr. Drew just wrote a book on how to have awkward conversations. Check it out. She may not know what guy really is just yet. He covers this conversation.
She is 11 you said tell her you support her but remind or encourage her that she is to young for rationships she needs to build friendships relationships will come later when both you and her are mature enough to handle them
Just provide support and love. That’s job one.
You will never regret providing support and love but you will regret second guessing your child.
If u have a close relationship…ask her what you need to know she will tell.x
My daughter came out and told me when she was 16 I told her Im nobody to judge I use to date girls too but my girls didnt know. I kinda knew she was and I told her Ill always accept her no matter what. Just accept her and if its a phase then it will pass
When I was 11 I was still trying to figure out how to lace my skates. This just blows my mind.
I have a 15 granddaughter for a couple years she was in a relationship friendship she told you parents she was transexual she was all good started high school met a girl that going to change into a boy so now she changed her name I do find it hard as she wants me to call her new name she dosent want me to say she my granddaughter I support her but find it hard she my only granddaughter the first I hope it is only a pharse I don’t talk or see her she has just change so much in life is confusing for her at this age but nanny is more confused
Let it be. Things will flow as they should
My daughter is the same age…she also told me this a few months ago…but that she’s pansexual (I had no idea what that ment)…just support them the best you can…while I do believe it’s a phase at this age I wouldn’t ever tell her that…I think that’s something their too young to be worrying about anyway…
Lol. Trust me, they know. What I read from that is she likes her friend more then a friend and is trying to have her friend like her back so is trying to have the same interests as her to be accepted. In my opinion. I remember when I realised I liked both males and females, I found it harder to get a female to like me back so I would start having the same hobbies and interests. It’s not just a phase. Maybe if anything she might down the track be bisexual, or like any sex that she has a connection with, but do not treat it as just a phase. You’re doing the right thing mumma and supporting her in her path is seriously only something we all dreamed of. Don’t be offended that she didn’t get into anime with you, the anime though… now that could be the only phase in this situation. In my opinion I would just remind her that the right person will like her despite the differences she has with them. Being unique is a feat xx
My son came out to me 2 years ago that he was bisexual and I support him no matter what just be there and listen to her and accept her for who she is.
My daughter is also 11 and stated that she likes girls, so I’m just rolling with it for now…
In my opinion, I think to be straight these days is abnormal. Being anything but straight is the norm. I have a stepson who wavers between being gay and bisexual. I don’t think you truly know who you are until you’re older. Just like when I was younger, you couldn’t tell me anything… you can tell them something until you’re blue in the face but until they experience it themselves, feel it for themselves they won’t truly understand.
Kudos to you for being supportive, so many parents aren’t.
Don’t do anything… makes no difference whether it’s a phase or not
She will figure herself out, just support her along the way
At least you won’t have to worry about her getting pregnant.
Just roll with it 
She may know exactly or she may not
Either way, right now she is where she feels she should be so just keep being there for her and let her be who she is.
Does it matter if it is a phase or not? Just support her regardless and she will continue to feel safe coming to you. It costs nothing and you don’t need to do anything except not be shocked if she introduces you to her girlfriend one day.
I told my Mama I was bisexual when I was 12. I’m now 26 and guess what I’m still bisexual.
Don’t try to dismiss this, kids know their own feelings.
You are a great mom! Just talk to her about it, don’t make
It taboo! Let her know you support her and to always be her truest self no matter what anyone thinks or does!
They’ll grow out of it if it is a phase, and they won’t if not. If she loses said friend and doesn’t change her mind, I’d say maybe it is legit. Teenagers don’t know much about themselves, and know nothing about the world around them, they still parrot adults like toddlers do. Say cool and move on. It’s not a big deal to not be straight, most aren’t anyways lol.
It is not a phase nor is she trying to be cool. I was 8 years old when I knew I was gay and not comfortable with being assigned female at birth
My 11 year old recently told me she was bi and has a girlfriend. I told her I didn’t care who she dated as long as they were good to her. That’s where I left it. I’m grateful she’s talking to me about her personal life and she’s not hiding the fact she has a girlfriend. Just be there for her. That’s all you can do.
I know women who once identified as gay or LGBT but now are married to men and have kids. It’s quite a few actually so I wouldn’t worry, sexuality seems to be more fluid in women and women experiment more. It’s also possibly the ramifications of the society we live in
Just keep showing her support. You’re doing a good job 
Pansexual is just another name for bisexual, and I think she’s way to young to know what she’s feeling and if this crap wasn’t in their faces all day every day like it is, there wouldn’t be so much damn confusion.
And I’m not exactly straight. Ive been with many girls.
The point is this generation has taken it way to far and an 11 year old shouldn’t be sexual or thinking about being gay.