Recently my daughter (11yo) told me she is gay. I do not have any issue with that, but my question is, How can they know for sure? …I’ve been thinking it , like for example, her best friend likes anime, and my daughter got into it because of her…I do like anime, and metal music and stuff like that, but she wouldn’t give it a chance when I asked to try to watch/listen something with me…after she got into anime like her friend was when she decided to give a try to what I do like…so, her best friend says she is pansexual, could be that my daughter is saying she is gay because she wants to be “cool” as them? What should I do? How to know it is for sure and not a phase? When she told me that I gave her a big hug she knows no matter what I’ll always support her, but dont know if she has in mind one of my advices I have always say to her…“Do what you want and be who you want to be as long is what you want and not because you want to follow everyone else”…I don’t wat to make her feel confused/bad etc…So, Should I let her find it on her own (if it’s maybe because of her friends)or should I involved more somehow?Thank you!
She’s 11. Whether she knows or not, she’s 11. Just support her, she’s your daughter.
She might not know for sure it’s part of her own life that she should be able to explore without judgement and have support to be who she is and change her mind and you continue to meet her where she is through her journey
Well if she said she likes boys would you be questioning it at all??? Maybe just be understanding and make sure she knows that she can come to you with questions. She will figure it out in time.
Just accept whatever makes her happy and support her for it. You can be bi but in a straight relationship same as you can be bi but in a gay relationship. You can be alone and happy and in a poly relationship and happy
Its something she needs to work out not you. Just be there to listen to her.
Just love her, whether she’s gay or not she’s only 11… Don’t make a thing out of it, you wouldn’t if she was straight.
Part of growing up. Does it really matter today if she knows 100% or not, or if it’s a phase? No. Does it matter today if you support her 100%, yes. Just be there for her. Be available if she wants to talk or has questions. Otherwise it’s really no different then her being into a guy.
Normal phase. Just let her know you love her and support her as long as she is not hurting herself or others.
Tell her you’ll love her regardless. If she’s going to change her mind then she will, but give it time. Questioning her will only confuse things more.
Tell her she’s loved and that it’s not a big deal (because it shouldn’t be).
11 y/o shouldn’t even be aware of their sexuality yet 
Just be the supportive mother that you obviously are and whether she is or not, let her discover on her own and never let her feel ashamed or alone!! You got this, mama❤
At an age where she follows all sorts of stuff ideas just let her know you are there whatever she decides she has a lot of growing to do yet and will change her mind many times x
When & how did you know for sure you were straight? You didn’t. You just knew. As does she. How brave of her to be open about that at such a young age! Be her support.
I’m bisexual and I’ve known since I was like 5. My very first crush was on a girl. If she says she likes girls, she likes girls.
How did you know you liked boys 
you just know
Read the bible genisus
Sounds like she fancies her friend and it’s given her lots of questions
Free To Be Me
In my opinions the best policy. Keep communication open. Most females I know have bi tendencies. Unsure how many guys as its been unacceptable
I mean, maybe she just thinks she likes girls and wants to experiment as she gets older. Nothing wrong with that. Even if she thinks it’s the “cool” new thing to do as she gets older she will find her way
These comments bum me out. We are supposed to be here to support other mamas
Being gay isn’t a phase? If she is into girls then she is into girls. I don’t know why other parents say it’s a phase when I have friends who have known they were gay since they were 12. The reason why you “think” it is a phase is probably because you portray it as a phase to them so they hide it from you.
Lol how do you know you aren’t? Same answer . Lol I didn’t know I was bi until I was older only because it was considered so awful I suppressed it but in this instance just run with it. She may discover more facets of her sexuality as she gets older but doesn’t mean she’s wrong about herself now
Whether she knows for sure or whether it changes later, its her journey, she just needs love and support 
Children know as early as 3 or 4.
I knew I was gay at 10, when all the girls were getting silly crushes on the boys and I just… didn’t feel like that. I felt like that about a girl in my class lol
Just support her. Don’t make a big deal out of this.
I wouldn’t worry about it too much. She’s 11. Just support her and be in her side and she’ll figure out her identity in time. Middle school is weird af 
Go with it. Be supportive.
There really isn’t an answer to this. All you can do is be supportive and stand behind her. They are young and have to find there own way weather it be through there friends or what. Sexuality is a funny thing and there is no rhyme or reason why. Just what makes them happy! Your doing great being supportive, just don’t dig to much into it!!
Let her figure it out.
How did you know you were straight ? It won’t harm anyone if she’s just exploring herself. And if she is “doing it to be cool” - that’s something she will have to navigate through on her own. With your support, she’ll feel comfortable enough to be herself though. No matter what that is.
It could also be that when her friend came out, she felt comfortable enough to also come out.
I came out in 7th grade. I’m 29 and still not straight
I will say that my child told me the same thing at 11. Today she will tell you she isnt sure. But that she is bi at least. But that being said, a LOT of kids today think that it is cool to be this way or that way to impress or whatever, I am NOT saying that some are not gay or bi or pan etc but some kids try to fit in wherever they can. My kiddo was scared we would be mad or upset. Just let your child know you are there no matter what. Told mine as long as she is happy and not being mistreated that it doesnt matter if she loves the jolly green giant!
Don’t, support her. It’s her place to figure this out. She however , needs someone in her corner that isn’t judging like the rest of the world.
Let her follow her own path. She knows who she is attracted to. just be there to support her no matter what, regardless of if it’s a phase/curiosity or a permanent choice.
Leave it be. Don’t question her or anything. U being there for support is good. If it’s a phase she will grow out of it or if it’s bc she’s following the crowd then she will grow out of it and if she’s really into girls then awesome. It isn’t hurting anyone but u digging around and questioning her will hurt her. So leave it be
Let her follow her path anime depending on what they watch can have lots of lesbian and sexual scenes. Maybe these have made her further question herself. I think most of not all people know if they are gay and if they are not gay and just experimenting finding out then let it be support her as you are and keep the communication open. Have the talks all of them don’t be afraid check o it local LQBTQI support groups and books and things that let her know you are completely following her lead and learn as much as you can about her world.
I mean most children at that age are trying to figure out who they are and they may go through several different identity crisis’ along the way.
Just be loving and
supportive of each one. Tell her theres no rush to figure out her sexuality, I feel that now a days society pushes these young kids to figure out who they are, that takes time and experience.
I wasnt worried about dating at 11.
Let her figure out who she is on her own, just be her support system and let her know that youll love her no matter what.
My daughter learned what gay meant from a bully in 1st grade bc she’s a Tom boy or a girl that doesn’t do girly stuff… idk…
A while after our discussion on what it is I noticed she put a bisexual flag logo on her roblox… we discussed what it truly meant again and she took it down.
I don’t think sexuality should even be an issue until 15, so I think it comes from peers and popularity contests and same types of things that are like you show me yours I’ll show you mine…
“Curiosity killed the cat”
It’s what I used to negate the situation 
good luck
It isn’t your place to question her. Even if it changes that is HER business. I am the mother to a bisexual gender fluid child. If that ever changes COOL! I’ll support the next thing until my child lands on an identity that feels right for them. Our job is to support not question, well, at least on this subject.
I would just wait, listen and communicate. Let her know that whatever she chooses you have her back. When my son came to me as trans, it was something I already knew, from a very young age. He finally came to me at 13 and told me he wasn’t a girl, and he didn’t want to be anymore. I’ve done the same, I accepted (this was hard for me and my husband and parents, but we did it) Left communication open, and answered any and all questions he had. When he changed his name and asked me to change it through school, and we will be eventually legally changing it, I knew he was certain. Now after a couple years, we have our first appointment to start hormone therapy. He has never changed his mind or wavered. Love is love and that’s all that matters!!!
She’s too young to know until she hits puberty. Little kids don’t understand sex yet. She could be confusing her connection with her friend or other girls for attraction, because girls naturally are more connected. Give her time!
definitely let her figure it out on her own. sexuality is a spectrum, from all the way straight to all the way gay, and some people fall somewhere in the middle. she will figure out who/what she likes on her own. who knows, maybe one day she will date a guy and then the next date a girl and realize she doesn’t like one or the other, or still likes both.
that being said, way to be supportive! she came out to you, and you handled the news very well! keep being supportive and she will keep coming to you with her stuff.
She’s young and learning what’s up with this thing called life. Just support her. Her choices are hers and she’ll live with them. As long as Nobody is getting Hurt…
My 11 is the same… it’s a big deal this age… for whatever reason. I think, accept it don’t make it a big deal and it will figure itself out. Apparently my daughter is non binary… I told my daughter, who people sleep with is none of my business and no need to label everything… a soul is soul no matter what it’s body’s gender… All her friends are something other than heterosexual. She draws characters and they all have announced identity’s too…it’s a big deal to this age… but some have changed their identity too… so… don’t make a big deal out of it… where your attention goes, grows… in time the truth will be known and… a soul is a soul… 
You and maybe even she won’t know til she goes through this.It could be a phase of exploration, or she could stay that way.Only time will tell
I mean does it really matter? She can change how she feels or describes herself anytime her feelings change. If she discovers that wasn’t quite the right “label” for her she can adjust it. I wouldn’t worry because all that matters is you’re supporting her.
Everyone I went to school that said they were gay are now with men. Some even have babies already🤷♀️ you probably won’t know for sure for a few years when she starts dating- 11 is a bit young
Just let her figure it out on her own and let her know you are there for her.
So what if it is a phase, let her be her own person…if you’re looking for the fastest way to have her hate and resent you please turn to the internet to have some zealot persuade you in to molding her into something she’s not… let her be and let her discover who she is .
If you don’t have an issue then just support as you are doing :)my child was 11 when they told me they were Bi, then they came out as gay and recently non binary at 18
Don’t do anything. Love her and let her figure out on her own who she is inside.
Don’t question it… just support her… if it’s a phase then it’s a phase but if it’s not your support and respecting her choice is going to make a huge difference
Let her figure it out. She’ll never figure it out if you don’t let her. Just have her back and let her know you’re there no matter what.
I’m bisexual and I’ve known my whole life.
Thank you for supporting her and letting her know you are an ally. We appreciate you.
They’re pushing the sinful sexual propaganda on our kids. Take her to church.
Definitely let her figure it out I think she’s just understanding her self xx
It could change so many times between now and when she’s older but love her and support her through it. No matter what she goes through just be there for her. And listen to her.
I’m going through the same with my 13yr old I will definitely support her no matter what.
If she was straight would you still question whether it was just a phase?
Even if it is a “phase” let her go through it and figure it all out for herself, just let her know she has your love and support
I am somewhat in the same boat. I was also lucky to have a couple of best friends who were gay men (not together and they have both past away). One of them and I had long conversations about “being gay”. All three of my sons know I am very supportive of gay rights and am ok with whatever they are. I have pointed out to my youngest son that while it may be true, to wait until after puberty to make sure (both my friends said during puberty is when they knew “for sure”). He knows I will support him either way. (Side note: I am looking into finding a Drag Queen to help me answer some of his questions). However, my concern is the same as yours in that he is saying things just to fit in, and that is why I have asked him “to be sure” before “making it public” because at 11years old, I do not believe (at least in my case) they understand the difference between a “crush” and a"sexual relationship".
Clearly if you’re questioning if she knows for sure you do have a problem with it and don’t want to accept it so quit telling yourself you’re ok with it and actually be ok with it before claiming that you are. Accept her and love her regardless. She’s your child.
my granddaughter went through this a couple years ago because of some of her friends now she is back to herself and likes boys
I got married. Had 2 kids before 22 … Have always been into girls… Just hid myself to appease my family… I came “out” at 23… I have friends who have known since they were 8… Others later on… Everyone has a different story, let her write her own and just support her no matter what Good job for letting her be whatever she wants !!
My daughter said she was gay a year ago. Now she’s not and only likes boys. I just go with the flow and support her either way. Her interest do change often depending on who she is hanging out with. One month she’s emo. Next month cowgirl boots etc.lol. just support her in her moments .
If she is 11 and saying this due to her friend saying it you need to make her change friends you have to keep her away from this she is to young to be talking about this
Be careful with that anime my daughter was watching it gatcha life she’s 11 to and I’ve had the exact same things said to me from my 11 year old since I’ve put a ban to it she’s fine now… it’s really weird stuff look into it on YouTube and some of the stuff I seen was shocking x
My now 16 year daughter is bi. I always new she was 
. I don’t care. I don’t see her any different. Even if it’s “faze” I don’t love her any less or see her any different. I love my kids as who they are. I asked her when she was 15. And she told me yes. I told her I already knew n had a feeling and then changed the subject right away. Now she loves who she is . Some are coming out young. Maybe it’s a faze or maybe it’s now. Who knows. Just play it out. Some are just following their friends from what I heard from an old friend with her daughter. Just love her, and support her in the future. They will need us with this f up world we live in now a days. Just saying
They are predominantly influenced by their friends at this age. Social media has got kids so confused they don’t know which way is up! Your daughter might be gay or maybe bi but I honestly doubt at this age they know! Their hormones are at an all time crazy high and they are getting information overload from the world, their friends and society. Most of my family and friends who are gay knew at a very young age or their parents knew… kids typically don’t just decide one day to be gay. Either way just keep communication as open as possible with her and support her through whatever she decides☺️
I just don’t understand why when a child comes out as lgbtq it turns into an “are you sure” but if they’re straight nobody questions it. This is why kids feel like they can’t come out to their parents. It’s not your place to question your child’s sexuality. If she’s coming out to you the last thing she needs is for you to question her when she’s probably struggling with her identity in general. And the way it sounds is that she may have feelings for her best friend and that’s why she was more willing to get into the things her friend enjoyed even when you always suggested them
Support what ever she decides faze or not these are her feelings and preferences. It shouldn’t matter if its a faze or not
Just bc this mama is asking questions does not mean she is not ok with it. She’s never been in the situation before and she obviously doesn’t know what it’s like being attracted to the same sex. It doesn’t seem like she doesn’t want to be supportive she just wants to know how to be supportive.
Just let her know you are there for her, she has your support, you are always by her side, you are proud of her for sharing her feelings with you. Then wrap your arms around her and tell her she always has your love. This is hard for her I am sure but to know she has you to confide in is huge. Love her, just love her… 
She’s exploring who she is. If her friend is pan, she might have come out because she felt safe to. My niece came out when her friends did because she knew she wouldn’t be the only kid in her class out. She has two gay aunts and knew she would be supported, but it’s different having support from your friends. My nice thought she was gay, but has realized she’s pan sexual. It’s okay for your daughter to figure it out as she goes along, but i promise 11 is not you young. I knew when I was 10, but didn’t come out until I was much older. I regret hiding that part of myself for so long and wish I had come out to my friends in high school. If she feels safe to be herself, don’t question it. Just love her and support her and don’t worry about how she identifies.
I’ve known ive liked girls and boys since I was 9 
it’s like asking a straight person how they know they like the opposite sex. I think just being supportive is going to be the best answer especially if she’s not out hurting anyone or anything like that.
Let her be who she wants!
If it’s a phase, she will move past it on her own. Just be supportive and don’t put too much pressure on it.
My daughter is going through this too, she has been curious since she started watching anime, now I’m wondering if it’s the cartoons sexualizing these kids? I have never watched them, and I lived in Okinawa through high school.
Just because she thinks someone is pretty, doesn’t mean she wants to bump and grind naked with the person. Some of these kids are just as confused as we are in this new generation.
My child did go through this period where about the same age they want to fit in and were convinced they were gay also. I supported every step. Never let them think you don’t have their back. By the time my child went to high school these kids now truly knew who they were. My child straight, some friends gay. But now their parents had supported them and it was so much easier for them to be themselves
Ma’am! This is a time for u to get firm with your daughter and teach her RIGHT from WRONG!!! Childbirth can ONLY come from a MAN snd WOMAN. Nature says that that man and woman is right in the CREATOR eye. All these bisexual and homosexual and pansexual and other craziness…that shit is confusing to these kids. 11 is too young to have a boyfriend let alone a girlfriend! Put your foot down! And any friend coming around talking about they are pansexual at 11…run they ass off and talk to their parents. Don’t let them bring that unnatural spirit in your home and over your child.
I know 11 it’s young but be supportive of her. Things have a way of working themselves out and if she is just trying to fit in with her peers that too will work itself out in time
I knew I was “different” by the time I was in 4th grade. I didn’t know why but I just found the other girls really cute. It wasn’t until I learned what being gay was that I finally had a word to call myself and that was a few years later, but I always knew.
Whether she’s going through a phase or if she truly is LGBTQIA+, just support her and her feelings.
I’m not saying being gay or coming out is a phase ( it’s not) but she’s young she decide to like different things later. It happens
My daughter also got into anime and she told me around 11 or 12. She is 19 now and says she is pansexual, but she really does not explore any partners or mentioned to me any crushes, etc. I wonder if anime is influencing these kids to really test their sexuality.
I am very supportive of my daughter, and just tell her whoever she loves make sure that they treat her with respect as she should do the same with them. Anybody is welcome in my home as long as they are good to her.
I was lucky that her high school had a very active straight / gay club. She met some good friends there, both gay and straight, that are very supportive. Her school didn’t really bully anybody much, and that group never had any issues with the other student body.
How did you know you were straight? I knew I liked boys in kindergarten
My whole thing is at 11 they have nothing to compare it to so how do they know for sure if they haven’t had the first sexual experience to even compare it to a lot of girls find other girls attractive and beautiful I do but that doesn’t mean I’m gas it means I can see the beauty around me that doesn’t mean I want to have see with a woman wich I have and I think in order to know what really turns them on and what really pleases them I just do not see hiw they could onow this for sure just saying
My 10 yr old thought she was a lesbian because she thought girls were pretty. I just had a talk with her and explained you can think girls are pretty without being physically attracted to them. She had no idea lol.
She doesn’t know honestly for sure because if she did you would have know a lot sooner l
So if my daughter tells me she likes boys, I have to ask her: “are you sure?”
How did you know for sure you’re straight ? Questions like this is what undermines the gay community.
My daughter came put to me at 10 and I came out to my dad at 9 and yes I’m still gay lol I like both…its very possable she is gay or is exploring the idea…if shes trying things to impress her friend…she might be
Would you be posting this same question if she came to you and told you she likes boys at this age? There’s nothing you need to do, just roll with it.
I figured it out at 12 
I don’t know about y’all, but by 2nd grade I knew for sure that I liked boys.
Just let her do what makes her happy. If she changes her mind 1000 times, support that. It’s not our jobs as parents to question our children, but to support them. No matter what.
My daughter knew at a very young age that she is gay. She is still gay many years later. Just be there for her and support her.
At my kids school, everybody is either gay, bi, pan or non-binary. My son told me he was bi. I’m happy if he’s happy, quite frankly you be who you want to be. But, a small part of me thinks there’s a bit of a trend going on. As literally, they’ve all come out as one of these sexual orientations. I’ve never voiced this as I want my son and his friends to be happy. Teenagers should be encouraged and supported to find their own path and happiness. Changing who you are to suit others isn’t healthy for anyone.
If she’s only doing it to be “cool” or with the in crowd then she will eventually figure out on her own what she wants. It’s sort of messed up that being gay is a trend now a days.
Had to deal with this with a 12yr old. Let her know you support her unconditionally but her sexuality is not a fad, just something you do because her friends are. That being said, as she grows and learns more about herself, her views on her sexuality might change and that’s OKAY and encourage her to tell you when she makes a new discovery and just go with the flow.
That the craze with kids nowadays (anime ) my step son said he’s game awww well atleast he’s happy