Recently my daughter (11yo) told me she is gay. I do not have any issue with that, but my question is, How can they know for sure? …I’ve been thinking it , like for example, her best friend likes anime, and my daughter got into it because of her…I do like anime, and metal music and stuff like that, but she wouldn’t give it a chance when I asked to try to watch/listen something with me…after she got into anime like her friend was when she decided to give a try to what I do like…so, her best friend says she is pansexual, could be that my daughter is saying she is gay because she wants to be “cool” as them? What should I do? How to know it is for sure and not a phase? When she told me that I gave her a big hug she knows no matter what I’ll always support her, but dont know if she has in mind one of my advices I have always say to her…“Do what you want and be who you want to be as long is what you want and not because you want to follow everyone else”…I don’t wat to make her feel confused/bad etc…So, Should I let her find it on her own (if it’s maybe because of her friends)or should I involved more somehow?Thank you!
Whether it’s a phase or not, this is her truth now and that’s what you go with.
But tbh I’m LGBTQ and most of my friends and family who are the same knew young. Age isn’t necessarily a relevant factor.
Just like the anime comparison, maybe the friend helped give her the language or someone her age to talk to about her experience and perspective. Friend got her into anime by trying various things, I’m sure. If she thinks she’s a lesbian, so be it. If she changes her mind later on and feels bi? Great, character development. People change careers after decades, “changing” sexuality later on is more about having a better understanding of your sexuality. Sometimes the only way to know is to test it out. And no, that doesn’t always mean going out and having sex with everyone you find. Being gay isn’t all about sex. You can be gay and asexual.
Just support her whether its a phase or not… let her figure this out for herself
I knew at 11 that I was bisexual. My mom says dismissed it and said it was a phase. Now here I am at 32 and I’ve realized I’m not bisexual but pansexual. Just love and support her.
The anime and her pan-sexsual friend has nothing to do with trying to be “cool”.
My mom knew my brother was gay when he was around 6-7yrs old. She gave him the chance to figure it out on his own and waited until he was ready to come out. He came out at 14ish. He was in denial for so long, until one kid at his school came out and that gave him the courage &a little push to come. When he finally came out to us, we told him we already knew &that we love &support him.
So I really think your daughters friend coming out might of given her the courage for her to do so as well. But even if it is “just a phase” just let her figure herself out.
So what if it is a phase? She’s young, she’s just figuring herself out. Honestly it’s likely her sexuality will change fluidly over time. Just roll with the flow and let her be her. Be proud that you have the type of parenting style that your child feels comfortable and safe coming and talking to you about such a personal topic 
All I can say is just support her and keep your conversations open… the only other thing to do besides that is love her!! That’s all
Honestly it does sound like you’re not completely accepting of her being gay. If you reverse your question it shows… so I ask you, How do you know for sure that you’re straight?
When she got in to anime did you feel the need to intervene and do something about it because there was a possibility she might only like it because her mate does…
Just support her, you’d never assume that someone who was straight was in a “phase” and why would it matter anyway if it was a phase, let her explore and learn for herself what she wants in life.
Just ride it out and see how it goes be supportive and understanding she isn’t doing anything lile considering sex changes ect so there’s no need to worry if she is certain on something or not in time after exploring im sure she will know exactly who she is and her sexuality
I have friends who thought they were gay when young and grew out of it. Establishing that you live her no matter what is important, but I would definitely give it time
I knew I was Bi at 11, sometimes when you know, you know. Even if you don’t just being there and being supportive is the best thing you can do.
Just leave her to it my daughter told me she was gay at 11 asked if I was upset I told her no. Next year she said she wasn’t and now she’s 13 she’s told me she’s bisexual. I’ve told her that whoever she falls for doesn’t define her sexuality and it’s about who you love . Just to add my daughter is autistic and does mask a lot of ppl but she’s been adamant she’s bi as her words were ppl are beautiful:)
It may be something she is figuring out or it may not, many people in the LGBT+ community knew at a young age but was often dismissed because of that. Just support her no matter what.
stop questioning her and go w it. you say you support her, then just do that. she’s figuring out who she is as a person, so it’s okay for her to change her mind if she ever does.
also, just bc she watched anime w her friend and not you, doesn’t mean she’s doing it to be “cool”. i never gave anime a chance, even when my ex was really into it. now i like it. it happens 
Every day I find new reasons to homeschool